


Going in Circles

by screaming_angels



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood and Gore, Deaf Frisk, Depression, F/F, F/M, Female Protagonist, Frisk is also not deaf entire story because magic, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Amnesia, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, no but seriously everything is angst, this will not be dirty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 169,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaming_angels/pseuds/screaming_angels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader is Frisk's older sister, and escapes with Frisk to the Underground to get away from their abusive parents. The reader has never been able to make it to the surface since the first timeline, so Frisk resets countless times in an attempt to save their sister. The reader is almost able to reach the surface one timeline, but in desperation to give Frisk a family, kills another being for the first time, and is haunted by Chara afterwards... Sans tries to save you, but Chara wants to destroy him just as much as they want to destroy you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There's No Use Crying About It

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, so this is the first fanfic I've written. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, so I would be grateful if you could be honest with me on how to make this story as good as it can possibly get! Thanks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is Frisk's older sister, and escape to the Underground to get away from their abusive parents. The reader has never been able to make it to the surface again, and in desperation to give Frisk a family, kills for the first time, and is haunted by Chara afterwards... Sans tries to save you, but Chara wants to destroy him just as much as they want to destroy you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, so this is the first fanfic I've written. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, so I would be grateful if you could be honest with me on how to make this story as good as it can possibly get! Thanks!

“We could be like… Like a family.” As the words left Asgore’s mouth, Frisk began to sob. It had been so long since they’d had a truly functioning family. A smile tugged on your lips as you felt yourself about to cry as well.

That’s why when the familiar bullets surrounded Asgore, you had to do _something._ You couldn’t let Frisk live on without a family again. An older sibling by themselves did not make a family, but two caring parents could, and you knew Toriel and Asgore would be good parents. Great ones.

You, as nothing more than an older sister, couldn’t let Frisk lose that at their most vulnerable moment.

It was a split-second decision, really. You leapt in front of Asgore and tried to block the monster from the bullets as best you could, and the bullets lunged inwards towards the two of you. As they shot into you, horrible, burning pain filled your entire body. Frisk was thrown back from the force of the bullets, and despite your efforts, one still hit the king, who crumpled. You watched as the kind king fell down. The vision of Frisk being in a happy family began to vanish. Frisk wouldn't lose this, they _couldn't_. Despair filled you to the brim as you furiously dug through the familiar satchel you’d carried along with you during your journey.

There was only one glass, but the Spider Cider would have to do. You popped open the cap and poured the drink down the unconscious king’s throat, who, you thought relieved, was going to live.

“Y o U  i D i o T.”

The voice made you flinch, but anger quickly replaced the surprise. “What do you want?!” you shrieked at the flower, turning your head towards him. Its demented smile grew across its entire face.

“I tOLd YOu, dOwn HeRE iT’S kiLL oR bE KiLLed!” The flower’s eyes narrowed. The new voice he had made fear scrape at your insides; it was echoing along with two other voices, two voices that sounded like kids who were screaming. You tried to look fearless; like the possessed voice was nothing new. “i SuPPosE tHat yoU’Re as STUPID aS yOU sEem!” Flowey tried to take another hit to the king, but you pushed Asgore to the side, and the flower shrieked in fury. “LeT mE kiLL hiM!” Flowey shrieked, his voice ringing out like a church bell. The flower was twisting around like a snake around it's prey.

The reminder of Frisk having a family, a real one, crossed your mind again. “FIGHT ME INSTEAD, LEAVE HIM ALONE!” you shriek back, impulsively. I need to get that under control, you thought regretfully. Anxiety began to run through your veins, rushing to fill any gaps that were being courageous in your blood.

Flowey cackled and roared, “F I N E,  F O O L I S H  H U M A N.” A familiar, quiet hiss came from your chest as a red soul floated out of your chest and everything in the background went dark again. “YOU HAVEN’T GOT THE POWER TO STOP ME, IDIOT!” Flowey wailed with laughter. “YOU CAN’T EVEN HEAL YOURSELF!”

You knew the flower was right. And you knew there was only one other option. "DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!" you shouted at the flower.

Seed-like bullets flew towards you, and you sprinted to the left, dodging them like your life depended on it (which it did, you reminded yourself).

It was your turn, and you had two options: Plead to Flowey to stop, or...

You drove the spear Undyne had given you right through the flower, as if it were nothing more than paper. You had never, ever killed anything before. Sans told you that throughout every single timeline, he’d never seen you kill someone, or something.

Well...

There was someone that had never been spared by you from timeline to timeline... You always began to remember everything later on than Frisk would, and than apparently Sans would. And so of course, you remembered the deaths that you caused, without any regret, or caring.

...

But Sans didn't need to know about that.

It was better this way, better if he never found out about your _secret_.

You shook your thoughts out of your head, snapping back to reality. And you saw the soulless being looked at you in pure shock as it was repeatedly stabbed by you again and again, until it was nothing more than mush. Grass stains covered your clothes, and reminded you of blood stains.

Blood was on your hands.

You were a _murderer._ You had been so close this timeline, too. You had been so close to have not killed anything...

You were the _real monster_ down here.

You began to scream like it had been you that had been stabbed, not the flower. Tears flowed down your face, and you couldn’t suppress the horror that it had been so quick a fight. That it had been so one-sided, that you hadn't let the flower have another turn. You felt like vomiting, like throwing yourself against a wall over and over until you broke your skull. A haunting laugh filled the room, and you sat bolt-upright, scanning the area for danger. But by the time you spotted the figure, it was far too late. Bullets popped up around you and the last thing you saw was a human in a green sweater with a yellow stripe smiling widely. “My name’s Chara. We’ll be the best of friends,” said the child. Something told you (perhaps it was the bloody, melting face) that this was not the case.

***Y/N***

When you once again were in your bed, you felt trapped and had no say in what you could do. Once again you traveled up the mountain and once again you and your little sibling Frisk fell down the hole, and landed in a bed of flowers. But when Toriel saved you and brought you to the dummy, you felt you fists be pulled backwards as though by pulled by strings, and socked the dummy in the face. Toriel was very upset with you, as was Frisk. They left the room, and Toriel told you to follow when you’d calmed down. The moment she and Frisk left the room with all the Froggits, you slayed each and everyone, despite trying to stop it. You killed everything you found and when Toriel and Frisk found you, covered in dust, they asked what had happened to you, Toriel pale as a ghost. You lied and told them you’d been trying to clean, and got really dusty. Despite not the fact they didn’t really seem to believe you, Toriel still let you into her home.

_“WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?”_ you screamed, trying to move by your own will. When it didn’t work, you wanted to cry, but were unable to.

_“Oh, I’d almost forgotten you.”_ You jumped at the sudden voice. “ _Hello. Do you remember me? I am Chara. Thank you so much for giving me use of your body.”_ A voice was echoing all around you, and you realized that this must be the person controlling you.

_“Where am I? Let me go! Stop hurting all these people! STOP MAKING ME DO THESE HORRIBLE THINGS! STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, DON'T HURT ANYMORE PEOPLE--"_ Pleads poured from your mouth, piling on top of each other like bricks.

_“People? You mean all of these_ creatures _? Well, I’m surprised. You didn’t seem to care what happened to that dumb flower last timeline. You’d tried to kill him so many times before. But this was the first time you’d actually succeeded! I’m proud, really. I didn’t know if you had it in you.”_

You were taken aback. That was not a response you were expecting. _“He was going to kill Asgore, I couldn’t let him, Frisk needs a family! I never wanted it to end like that, I just meant to--”_

_“OH!”_ Chara suddenly said. You felt your actual body grin, despite you not moving the muscles. _“Oh, you’re a pacifist, aren’t you? But you couldn’t stand to see the king die because of that little brat! How amusing!”_

Disgust flowed through your veins, and you tried to make a face to show it, but the grin stayed there, like it was sewn on. You felt like a puppet, unable to move without someone else pulling the strings. _“Stop hurting these people!”_ you repeated helplessly, feeling like you were about to cry.

_“You can’t do anything. I’m controlling your soul, ya know. That’s where you’re stuck. Inside your soul. That’s why you can see, feel, and hear everything that’s happening.”_

_“But your voice is--”_

_“Oh, these are my thoughts. See? I’ll prove it.”_ Your body glided over to Toriel.

“Hello, child. Have you calmed down, now? You must be tired from… cleaning.” Toriel looked upset, her nose stuck in a book. “Frisk wants you to read them a bedtime story, if you will.”

_“I want to destroy the Underground and everyone in it.”_ Aghast by the words, you tried to cover your mouth, yet you could not move unless Chara did so.

“Dear? Please go over to read this to Frisk.” Toriel handed you a book, and you realized she had no idea what Chara had said. Your mouth hadn't moved when Chara spoke the vile sentence.

“Yes, alright already,” you sneered. _Chara_ sneered, you corrected yourself.

Toriel looked thoughtful. “You remind me of someone, a little. But they wouldn’t ever hurt anyone. Child, please stop trying to fight all of us. We only want to help you. That flower was a rare occurence.”

“Alright, Toriel. I’m very sorry, that flower just scared me.” Toriel gently smiled at you. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I’m sorry.” Inside of your head, Chara was thinking the exact opposite. You felt ill.

“It is alright, my dear.” You skipped away to Frisk’s room, and Chara read the book, as though she cared for Frisk.

“Can you read that one last part again, please?” Frisk’s eyes widened in happiness. Affection was clearly reflected in them.

_“Brat,”_ Chara growled.

_"Frisk is no brat!"_

Chara smiled widely at Frisk. “Of course. ‘The pigs then lived happily ever after.’” Chara’s eyes flicked up from the book. “Happy?”

“Yes, thank you. Goodnight,” murmured Frisk sleepily. “Hey, ______,” Frisk said, grabbing your sleeve.

“What?” Chara sounded a little annoyed, and she put her hands on her hips.

“Why are your eyes red?”

Uh, red eyes? You were pretty sure that you did not have red eyes. Chara seemed enlightened of this fact previously however. “I’ve been, uh, crying,” she said flatly.

“But the color of them is red!”

“C-contacts.” Chara was clearly flustered.

“Oh. Okay. I was just worried.”

“Night, kid.”

“Goodnight…”

Chara carefully closed the door behind her. _“What are you gonna do?”_ You asked nervously.

“Toriel’s gonna ruin everything,” said Chara darkly. “I’m going to kill her, then get outta this hell.” She didn't even care she said it outloud.

_“NO!”_ You screamed at Chara, trying to make her change her mind. Chara laughed it off, and walked downstairs. _"I'm sick of all these people. Sick of all this goodie-goodie business. This... this will be_ my _world."_ Horror engulfed you, and you frantically tried to regain control of yourself.

“I’m leaving the Ruins,” yelled Chara. To your surprise, Toriel was already standing at the door.

“I won’t let you leave,” hissed Toriel. The knife you got from the kitchen gleamed in your hand, and without a second thought, you dove at her with it. You, inside your soul, tried even harder to run backwards, and Chara stumbled, but blood splattered on your face. “You-- You really hate me that much?” Toriel whispered, and you looked up to see a large gash on her chest and face. “Now I see who I was protecting by not letting you leave here. Not you… But them!” Toriel collasped to her knees and you began to sob, but your actual body laughed.

_“Hmm. You broke your bonds. Interesting. Still can’t control me though,”_ laughed Chara. “Die, you pathetic fool. You think you could stop me from winning? Well, you're wrong,” she hissed to Toriel. Toriel faded to dust. “Ha, bitch. Some mother~” Chara giggled and to your disgust, your body followed suit.

_“HOW COULD YOU?”_ you shrieked, tears falling from your face. You ran as far as you could, hitting a red wall than shone a dull red. You smashed your fists against it, and suddenly the demon came to the wall. Chara, from the other side, smiled cheekily and waved at you happily. _“LET ME GO!”_ Your body betrayed your soul as it began to laugh instead of howl with screams.

_“Nah,”_ said the demon. _“We haven’t even gotten to the good part!”_ Chara whirled around, as did your actual body, and you pounded on the glass-like wall again, trying to get her to stop. “FRISK!” Chara screamed, trying to sound terrified. “FRISK! RUN!” You took the stairs two at a time, sprinting up the stairs as a cheetah would.

Frisk met you at the top, pertified. “What’s wrong?!”

“TORIEL WAS JUST MURDERED BY SOMEONE! THEY RAN AWAY AND SHE DIED TRYING TO PROTECT ME! RUN!”

Frisk sprinted down the stairs without another word, and Chara quickly threw off your sweater and put on a new one. She looked in the mirror, and to your horror, you didn’t see yourself, but her. She had possesed you, you realized sickly. Chara quickly ran down the stairs and grabbed Frisk, who was standing, crying at the door. “Listen, it’s gonna be okay. You need to stop crying otherwise they’ll attack you, since they’ll know you were with me. If you just hold my hand… it will be okay. They’ll think I kidnapped you. And you’ll be safe.”

As you walked out the door, you knew she was going to kill everything.

****SANS***

“Hello, comedian,” ______ laughed as she approached me.

I tugged at the red scarf around my neck. The girl had red eyes compared to her original (e/c) ones. I closed my eyes, and took a second to remember everything. I remembered… the moment they came out of the Ruins. Frisk’s terrified face and her wide smile. I remembered blood spilled all over the snow, and Frisk’s corpse lying there on top of a pool of it. Pap… his scarf was right next to it, and was covered in dust. It smelled like blood, and when I picked it up, it was wet with the crimson liquid. I saw Undyne die. She gave a small speech on hope and began to melt, but turned to dust like everyone else. I heard that ______ found where Alphys and the others were hiding, and slaughtered them all. Mettaton didn’t even manage to kill them. No one had, and I knew Asgore wouldn’t be able to harm them, even if he tried to kill them like he had with the other humans.

I wondered what had happened to her. She always spared us before, every single time, barely able to bring herself to hurt Asgore to protect Frisk. She’d never made it out of here.

Not once.

Sometimes, Toriel or Frisk would tell me, in tears, that she’d broken her back protecting Frisk, that the fall was what killed ______. More than once that damned flower had been what got her. There was one time when Undyne tried to kill Frisk, she protected them and got killed instead. Frisk always restarted to try to keep all of us alive to make it above the Underground.

We’d always been close. There had been times that we’d shared smiles and I remembered vaguely one time that she even saw me cry. Pap didn’t even see me cry. _No one_ ever saw me cry. I had realized how I’d truly felt about her a long time ago, so many timelines ago that the memory was like it had been there all along.

I looked at the save point she’d just used. That was different about her, too. Frisk was always the one that saved previously, she always refused, not wanting to mess with things that she had no business in. She apparently remembered previous timelines as well, but not nearly as clearly as Frisk did. Frisk, this time, hadn’t remembered anything, and it was chilling. I wondered what was going on.

I didn’t understand what had happened to ______.

“heya. you've been busy, huh?” She scoffed at me, and her smile grew wider. What could have happened to make her so different? “so, i've got a question for ya. do you think even the worst person can change...? that everyone can be a good person, if they just try?” I laughed after the question, but I knew it sounded weak and fake. She growled at me, narrowing her eyes, and her knuckles turned white as she clenched the knife.

“The fuck kind of question is that? Tell me, _why_ do I care about being a good person?”

All right then, I thought. I felt sick. I didn’t want to do this. Any of it. But I knew there was only one way to have the possibility to get rid of this timeline. “well, here's a better question,” I said, looking at my feet, closing my eyes softly. “do you wanna have a bad time? 'cause if you take another step forward… you are REALLY not going to like what happens next.” She sneered at me and walked forwards, laughing hysterically. “welp. sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises.” I’m so sorry, I thought, about to cry. “it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you… S h o u l d   b e   b u r n i n g   i n   h e l l .”

My eyes shot open and left eye burned like fire, it was bright blue, I knew. She looked shocked and I threw her against the wall and smashed her into the floor, barely moving a muscle.I brought up the bones from the floor, and some in the ceiling collapsed down.

“Gah!” she screamed as they stabbed her, and quickly crammed a soul down her throat. Coughing up blood, she threw up. Poison, I guessed. She looked up at me hatefully. I grabbed her again using my powers, and smashed her into the wall. I snapped my fingers, and her blood-red soul turned blue, and she collapsed to the floor like a rag doll with bricks in it would. She hopped through the bones as best she could. Panicked, she crammed some more food down. Lucky for her, otherwise the Gaster Blasters would have blown her to kingdom come.

“huh. always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.” She looked at me in fury and ran towards me with her knife held in both hands. She raised it high over her head and brought it down, as I quickly sidestepped it. “what? you think i'm just gonna stand there and take it?” I asked as she looked horrified. I continued trying to kill ______, telling her about timelines, desperately hoping inside that she would give up. Please, I begged to myself. I never thought I would say this, but _please_ reset.

“you can't understand how this feels,” I murmured. “knowing that one day, without any warning... it's all going to be reset. look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago. and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either. cause even if we do... we'll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right? to be blunt... it makes it kind of hard to give it my all. ... or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy...? hell if i know. all i know is... seeing what comes next... i can't afford not to care anymore.”She tried to kill me over and over again. Dodging was easy, honestly. Unfortunately, she seemed to think the same of my attacks.

“ugh... that being said... you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, huh? ...listen,” I said. I knew this trick was only going to work once and I hoped it would. **“** i know you didn't answer me before, but... somewhere in there. i can feel it. there's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might have even been... a friend? c'mon, buddy. do you remember me? please, if you're listening... let's forget all of this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier.”

Something flashed in her eyes. Her real (e/c) was there for only a second, but I knew I’d seen something weird. She was shaking, breathing raspily. What she was doing with her hands was the weirdest thing. The hand holding the knife was waving at me, and the other one was pulling at it, trying to restrain it. She shrieked as she threw the knife far away to the other end of the room, and fell to her knees. She had her face in her hands, and was violently shaking. When she lifted her face after an excruciating painful minutes, she was sobbing from (e/c) eyes. She looked at me and held her arms wide, shuddering and shaking.

I couldn’t hide my surprise that it had worked. She was looking at me hopefully, painfully. “you're sparing me?” I looked at her to make sure.

She swallowed. “Y-yes.” ______’s voice was so dry that it was actually a little alarming. I looked to the side, unable to face her. Unable to look at the dirty brother killer’s face.

“finally. buddy. pal. i know how hard it must be... to make that choice.” I assured her, trying to sound forgiving. “ to go back on everything you've worked up to. i want you to know... i won't let it go to waste. c'mere, pal.” She cried even harder and staggered to her feet. I opened my arms and she stumbled as she ran to me. She collapsed once, but quickly picked herself up, and jumped into my arms. She was practically screaming from the tears, and buried her face into my coat. I felt conflicted suddenly. Maybe I didn’t have to do this. Maybe she would change. But would she reset? I took a deep breath, tightly shutting my eyes. My mind was set. I opened my eyes, and the left was burning blue again. As I leapt back from the hug, ______ fell forwards and looked at me, confused, tearfully.

“Sans? Wha--”

I raised my hand and bones pierced her skin. I heard crunching as her bones snapped and blood flew out of ______’s mouth. Oceans of blood fell from her body, as she was impaled from the attack. Her screams, I knew, would haunt me forever. I heard a cracking noise, and shattering noise. Her soul was being destroyed. I closed my eyes, and thought about Pap, about Frisk. I thought of Undyne, Alphys, even Mettaton. I thought of Toriel, and everyone she killed to get here now. Tears began to fall down the sides of my skull.

“geeettttttt dunked on!!!” Trying to keep my voice steady, I quickly snapped my fingers. As the bones disappeared back into the ground, I said, as coldly as possible to her corpse, “if we're really friends... you won't come back.”

**Y/N***

Chara was furious. _“I WAS SO CLOSE!”_ she screamed. _“SO CLOSE TO WINNING! SO CLOSE TO BEATING HIM, ERASING EVERYTHING!”_

You coughed again, and more blood flecks flew out of your mouth. You couldn’t understand why you still felt the unbearable pain, since you’d heard my soul shatter, but you still felt it, and _goddamn_ did it suck. It felt like your insides had been torn to shreds and ripped out of you, and then someone decided to toast your ass in lava. Well, there was some of your lungs that you coughed up. You groaned in pain.

_“You deserve it,”_ Chara snapped. She stomped over to the button that said ‘continue’.

_“W-why d-d-don’t we just r-reset?”_

_“Are you fucking kidding? Never.”_

You ran forwards to stop her, but you were unable to before you found yourself in that same room. “No,” you whimpered. You weren’t in pain, but you felt like vomiting everywhere nonetheless. You were forced to walk over to _him_ as Chara regained control.

“heya,” he said. “you look frustrated about something. guess i'm pretty good at my job, huh?”

You died again.

“hmm. that expression… that's the expression of someone who's died twice in a row suffice to say, you look really... unsatisfied. all right. how 'bout we make it a third?”

And again.

“hmm. that expression… that's the expression of someone who's died thrice in a row. hey, what comes after ‘thrice,’ anyway? wanna help me find out?”

Again.

hmm. that expression...that's the expression of someone who's died quice in a row. quice? frice? welp, won't have to use it again anyways.”

As she fought Sans for what you hoped was the last time, Chara was overwhelmingly furious. You were getting more and more control each time you died, and she hated it. _“This is my world,”_ she said coldly to you. Her soul was restraining you from fighting her, but she was having an increasingly more difficult time to stop your control.

With only one plan to fix the hell that you were experiencing, you prayed that it would work. _“Chara,”_ you growled, trying to sound intimidating. _“Let me kill him.”_

Taken aback from your request, Chara looked pleased. _“You wanna kill ‘im? Go ahead, then. Prove that you’re strong enough to be worthy to have your body back.”_ You would do better than that. Chara stepped to the side and shoved you forwards.

Regaining control was a strange sensation. A gust of fresh air hit your body, everything suddenly was so clear, you were in heaven, the sensation of being born again shook through your body. But not even half a second after that, the wounds Sans had inflicted hit you like a bulldozer, and you collapsed, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t about to cry. A few tears fell from your eyes, and you cautiously looked up at Sans. He looked confused as all hell, but still furious, and threw you to the side. “GUH!” a small _koff_ came out of you and blood fell from your mouth.

_“C’mon. Kill ‘im while he’s distracted.”_

“You can’t stop me from winning,” you said out loud, to both yourself and Chara.

_“I know. He can’t stop you from killing him. So do it already.”_

You laughed so hard that you coughed out more blood. “Not him. You can’t stop me from winning. You can’t stop me from avenging them. From avenging little Frisk, from Mom, from Papyrus, from Undyne, from Alphys. You can’t stop me now. You gave me control. You _fucked_ up big-time.” You began to laugh hysterically. Tears fell from your face in joy. Sans stopped attacking, staring at you like you were insane. You couldn’t care less at this point. You missed Sans, the one you shared laughter and secrets and so much more with. This was the only way to get that Sans back.

_“W H A T  D O  Y O U  M E A N?”_  Chara sounded full of rage, but also terrified.

You could feel her trying to take back control. Panic began to flow through you. How were you going to stop her? She was still much more powerful than you. An idea flashed through your eyes, and that impulsive part of you didn’t hesitate.

You whirled around the knife to face you. “what are you--” Sans started, but before he could finish you drove it into your heart, where Chara was currently near. Screams erupted throughout your entire body, one came from your mouth, one came from the demon inside of you, the rest echoed in your heart. You collapsed, and Sans was rooted where he was. Clearly in a stupor, Sans could do nothing as you ripped the knife out of you and stabbed yourself again. Your heart burned and the light was quickly leaving your eyes. You didn’t even notice when Sans suddenly lifted your head into his lap, shaking. “what happened to you?” he whispered.

There was only a blurry blob who spoke with slurred and quiet words as far as you were concerned, but with your dying breath you managed to cough, “C-Chara…”

Everything faded away.

***SANS**

I held ______’s head gently, and choked out, “what happened to you?”

She blinked slowly, and murmured, “C-Chara…” ______ let out one final cough as her body fell limp. Her eyes were half closed, and the knife was still jutting out of her chest where her heart would be.

The face she wore wasn’t one of fear, but relief to be dead. I shook in horror. _Chara._ I recognized that name. I knew that name. That was the name of the first human who fell into the Underground, long, long ago. The king and queen’s daughter that had died, supposedly of suicide.

So who was I actually hurting that entire time? Her? Or Chara? Tears began to spill out of my eye sockets as I sobbed, holding ______’s corpse close to my chest, blood staining the front of my blue winter coat.

I wanted the old timelines back for once.


	2. Reset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I posted this like, 2 seconds after I posted the first chapter.  
> This is actually cut from the first chapter and I wanted to include it.  
> Really.  
> Really.  
> Really.  
> Badly.

When you opened your eyes, you felt like something big happened, and suddenly felt so free. You tried to think of what could have happened, but nothing came to mind. Then you hopefully thought that your parents might have been happy, and you couldn’t remember because you hit your head or something. It had been years since you’d seen your parents happy, so the hope made some sense.

It was all your father’s fault; when he started drinking again your mother joined him and neither you or your younger sibling, Frisk, had any way to stop them. Frisk had stopped going to school ages ago, and even though they were nine, they’d already gone through so much.

Frisk hadn’t heard a single noise their entire life, to start with. Born deaf, raised deaf. Over the years Frisk learned sign language and how to read lips, you along with them. Despite the fact that you and Frisk both didn’t talk out loud much in your house, the small house on Mount Ebott was far from quiet. The people you were forced to call parents only left to get groceries, because they had both quit their jobs long ago. Your family was in a constant state of poverty, and you were sick of it.

There were scars you carried from beatings, drunken or otherwise.

You jumped out of your bed, and looked through the window. The sun was already high in the light blue sky. You ran out of your room to find your parents, and your heart sank. Frisk was curled in a ball, trying to protect themselves as your father raised a whip behind his head. You sprinted over and the whip _cracked_ on your back, and burst into pain. You were bleeding again, you knew.

“STUPID BITCH!” your father screamed at you.

You felt so stupid for expecting any change from a man like him. Your mother was yelling at you as well, because she apparently was the one who called your father forwards to hurt Frisk.

“THEY STOMPED ON MY FOOT!” she shrieked. “IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET WHIPPED MORE, START CLEANING!”

You and your younger sibling scrubbed the house in fear. You could have moved out, since you were twenty-one, but you couldn’t leave Frisk alone in this hell, and the police were of no help to you, since the sheriff was your uncle and he hated you and Frisk both.

You and Frisk had been cleaning, cooking, and catering to your parents all the way to midnight. When they saw the time, your parents locked you both in the room you shared, and told you to go to sleep or else there would be punishment. You knew that meant that they were planning on doing something horrible.

“ _Sissy, what’s going to happen to us?”_ Frisk signed you.

You signed back, _“I don’t know. Stay quiet so they don’t realize we’re up.”_

Frisk pretended to zip their lips, and you smiled gently as you pressed your ear against the door.

“Let’s take the deal,” you heard your mother say in a muffled voice. “It’s good money, and we don’t have to worry about them.”

“The only problem is who’s going to clean, cook, do everything?”

A chill ran down your spine. Those were _your_ jobs. _Frisk’s_ jobs. They were planning on selling you. You pressed your ear even harder on the wood.

“Are you kidding? We could buy a _mansion_ with the money they’re offering!”

“That’s true…”

“We should have taken that offer years ago. And even better, they won’t get caught. They’ve been doing this for _years_ , and it’s really such great money. We’ll be rich!”

“I do like that. When are they coming by?”

“He’s coming by tomorrow evening!”

“How much money?”

“He said a million, _at least_!”

“Why didn’t we sell them years ago?” yelled your father.

“Dear! Hush! They’ll wake up!”

“Right… right, sorry. Let’s get them all fancy tomorrow for this man, say we’ve had a change of heart about how we’ve been treating them. Then they’ll be sold away and we’ll never have to deal with them again!”

“Wonderful.”

You panicked. _“Frisk! We need to go right now! Immediately! They’re selling us to someone!”_

 _“What? How are we going to leave?”_ Frisk signed back sloppily, in a clear state of panic. They squeaked in fear, and you quickly covered their mouth, pointing to the window.

_“Get a sweater on, it’s going to be chilly. I’ll go steal some food.”_

Frisk nodded and hopped over to the dresser, searching for a sweater. You tiptoed out of the room and to the kitchen. You looked around you quickly, then grabbed as many apples as you could. You got back to your room, your heart thudding in your chest. Ears ringing with fear, you shut the door quietly. This all seemed so familiar, but new at the same time. Frisk handed you a brown bag and opened it, tossing the apples inside of it. Throwing on your own sweater, Frisk looked like they were about to cry.

You tried to open the window silently, but it got stuck halfway through, to your dismay. A wave of panic rushed over you. There was only one way to get out now.

Frisk seemed to know what you were thinking, and shook their head violently. Without a second thought, you shoved the strap of the bag over the little kid and pushed them out the window, them landing in the grass just below the opening.

 _“Move,”_ you signed. _“I’ll be right out.”_

Even though they looked scared, they ran to the first few trees of the woods.

You grabbed the toolbox you hid under you bed and with all your might, chucked it at the window.

_SMASH!_

“THE FUCK WAS THAT?!” you heard you father scream.

The sound of thudding, running footsteps made you panic. The door flew open, and you saw your parents staring at you in awe. You didn’t say a word and you ran to the window and leapt through, glass cutting you. Grass and your body collided. Tuck and roll, tuck and roll, tuck and roll, deep breaths, deep breaths, you chided yourself mentally.

Picking yourself up when you could, you staggered to Frisk, and hear a _BOOM_ of the front door being kicked open, as your father screamed at you to get back there. He was coming for you.

Grabbing Frisk by the waist, you pick them up and sprint into the forest. You were breathing raggedly, you knew you were very weak since you never got to leave the house. However, you weren’t stupid. Weaving through the trees, you sometimes made a random turn or hid behind a tree.

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?” shrieked the monster of a father. Groaning, you picked Frisk back and began to run again, away from the harsh voice. “I SEE YOU, YOU BITCH!”

That wasn’t good, you knew, so you took another turn and--

The next thing you knew was the shock of your foot landing in air and toppling forwards into a pit of darkness.

You and Frisk shrieked as you tumbled down into the unknowingness.

When you woke up, there was a small body draped over you, and sunlight burned into your eyes. Pain shot through you as you tried to sit up. “Agh! Shitshitshit!” Frisk shot up and began to wail, very suddenly.

“Frisk?! What’s wrong?!” you yelled, signing at the same time.

“I can hear you,” Frisk whispered. Startled, you blinked, then tears began to form at the corners of your eyes as you hugged Frisk. You didn’t know how it happened, but you blessed it for occurring.

After a while, the two of you got up. You encountered a talking flower in the next room, and it took literally all of your willpower not to scream and smash the flower to pieces with your foot. The flower kindly told you about your soul, and how to make it stronger. You were not prepared for any of this mentally and fell down when your soul came out of your chest. It seemed like this had all happened before, and despite “Flowey”’s happy demeanor, something seemed off about the flower. “Collect the friendliness pellets!” encouraged the flower.

“Uh, they look like bullets.”

“They’re not bullets, they’re friendliness pellets!” insisted Flowey, looking mildly irritated.

“No, those are definitely bullets,” you said, stepping away, your soul following your movements.

“Hmph,” pouted the butterscotch-yellow flower. “What a shame. I was hoping to toy with you a bit longer. Oh well. D I E,  I D I O T.”

Bullets surrounded you and Frisk. You grabbed them and held them to your chest, trying to protect them as best you could when the flower was kicked away by a… goat-woman.

“What a horrible creature, trying to hurt such poor, innocent youths.” The woman had a soft, motherly voice. She seemed eerily familiar as well. “Are you two alright?” asked the woman gently. You looked at Frisk.

“You okay?” Frisk slowly nodded. You directed your attention to the woman. “We’re okay, thank you…?”

“My name is Toriel, my dear. Let me show you the ways of the Ruins, and of puzzles.” She took your hand with her left arm and little Frisk’s hand with her right. As Toriel showed you the Ruins, you met cute little creatures that looked like frogs. You smiled and waved at them. One nodded at you. Toriel taught you how to spare a monster that confronted you, how to solve puzzles, and so much more. She ended up giving Frisk a cell phone and walked away, assuring she’d be right back. “Just wait here, my children.”

After you got the phone call from Toriel that a dog had stolen her phone, you and Frisk made a mutual decision to go and find her.

She’d made a butterscotch pie for the both of you.

She was the mother you’d always wanted.

It was perfect with her. Except…

You woke up sweating, shaking violently. It had been a few months since you’d escaped your old, hellish life, but nightmares were a new part of your wonderful life with Toriel. Crying from the nightmare, you stumbled out of bed and towards Toriel's room. Letting you use the room under renovations was sweet of her, but it was handy to have because of its closeness to Toriel's room and its virtually soundproof walls. You gently opened your door and unsteadily walked to your mother's room. "M-mom?" you said raspily, knocking on the door.

The door opened and Toriel almost immediately hugged you. "Oh, my child. Did you have another nightmare?"

You whimpered and began crying into Toriel's shoulder. "It was worse than usual, Mom."

"There, there, my child. Let's get you some warm tea and comfy in bed. I will protect you from any creature trying to harm you." Toriel grabbed your hand and walked down the hall holding it tightly. A memory crossed you of your human mother swatting away your hand when you tried to grab it. How old were you when that happened? You couldn't remember. It was so long ago, now. Toriel made tea and gave it to you. "Careful, ______. It is very hot."

"Thanks, Mom," you murmured, opening the door to your room.

"It is no problem, dear. Do you want me to stay with you a bit longer?" Toriel asked as she tenderly tucked you in.

"I'm alright," you answered. Whenever you had a dream like that one... like one of killing Toriel... something made you want to hurt her in reality when she would comfort you.

"Alright, my child. Come to my room if you need reassurance, okay?"

"... Okay." As Toriel left the room, you sighed. You and Frisk had been talking about leaving the Ruins for a bit now. Every day you spent in them made you want to hurt someone more and more, and Frisk was getting anxious from being cooped up. You'd brought up the idea of leaving before, but Toriel had gotten very upset so the two of you completely dropped it. However, you couldn't afford to hurt someone by staying in the Ruins.

The next morning, you talked to Frisk about leaving the Ruins, which they sadly agreed to, knowing that it was not good for either of you to stay trapped. You and Frisk worked up your courage and walked over to the kitchen, where Toriel was currently making lunch for the two of you.

“Mom?” You peered into the kitchen.

“Yes, _____?”

“Mom, Frisk and I-- we want to explore the Underground,” you said nervously. "We talked about this before, and we think that we need to leave the Ruins."

Toriel froze. “Why would you want to do that?” she asked flatly.

You gnawed at your lip. “We love you, Mom, I swear, but we can’t stay here forever. And Frisk can't stay cooped up here; they're still growing up.” Frisk had walked over to you.

“Mommy? Please-- can we leave? I love you so much, b-but I miss being able to go other places. I’m curious.”

Toriel smiled weakly. “Hello, Curious, I am Mom.”

“Mom, please,” you said, trying to stifle laughter. “We’re trying to be serious here. We want to explore.”

Toriel knew her attempt to drop the subject failed, and her face darkened. “No, absolutely not. You cannot leave here. It’s dangerous out there. Stay here. It is safe here, with me.” Without another word, Toriel headed downstairs. You and Frisk shared worried glances, and followed her.  “Go to your room. Stop following me.”

“Mom, what are you doing?” you asked, still close behind her.

“I am destroying the only exit from the Ruins. You will not be like all the others. You-- I won’t let you leave me.”

“Mom!” Frisk said, shocked. Your jaw dropped. Toriel stopped, staring at the door.

“Go to your room before I make you.” Frisk stomped on the ground, and your feet were glued to the ground.

“Mom! Let us leave! We could-- we always could come back!”

Toriel laughed. “No. You cannot return once you leave this place. Would you not be _cooped up_ if you were to return? Hmm? The same problem would arise. No, you know what? If you want to leave so badly, fight me to prove that you're strong enough to not die by a monster's hand!”

“WHAT? MOM, WE DON'T NEED TO--!” It was too late, and your soul was there, out of your chest again.

“Prove to me that you are strong enough to survive!”

“Mom! We won’t fight you!” Frisk yelled. “Right, _____?!”

Something about this conundrum was too familiar. It reminded you of the nightmares of you, covered in blood and dust. “R-right! Mom! Stop this!” You two pleaded with Toriel, and eventually she fell silent.

“I can’t even protect two children who call me Mother.”

“Mom! That’s not true! You saved us! We just can’t be trapped. Please, Mom,” you pleaded, near tears. “Please let us go.” You held your arms open. Toriel began to cry and hugged you and Frisk tightly. _I spared her_ , the little voice inside your head said. You had no idea why this was such a big deal, but you began to cry nonetheless.

“I-I see now. To keep you two here would be wrong. Be free.” Heart flying high like a lost balloon, you smiled, opening your mouth to thank her, but she waved for you to be silent. “Please don’t come back. I hope you understand.”

Your heart that had been flying as a balloon a second ago popped. “M-Mom,” you whispered. She held you two tightly again. “Come with us!”

“I cannot come with you, my dear. Someone has to take care of the flowers,” she said, soothingly. “I will miss you, Frisk. I will miss you, _____.”

“We’ll miss you too!” bawled Frisk.

Hearts heavy, you and Frisk took a step outside of the Ruins. Toriel gently shut the door and waved goodbye.

Flowey was waiting there. “Stay away,” you growled, stepping in front of Frisk.

“So you saved her. Big deal. You can’t save everyone. It’s kill or be killed here. I know we’ll meet again,” sneered the flower, the demented fangs on it’s face. It disappeared into the ground.

Frisk cried even harder, in what you guessed was fear.

“H-hey!” you said, trying to cheer a weepy Frisk up. “We’ll see her again. I know it. It just might be a bit. And I won’t let that stupid flower hurt you.”

Squeezing your hand, Frisk took a few shaky steps forwards out of the room. When you both left the room, you gasped.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured. “Frisk… look at the snow!” Frisk was already making a snow angel. Unfortunately, you were not surprised. “Frisk! You’re gonna get cold!”

“But _snow_!” yelled Frisk. “I never heard snow before! I thought it would sound twinkly but it sounds crunchy!”

Guilt filled you as you remembered that Frisk had not always been able to hear. You picked up Frisk from the snow, to their disappointment. Hugging them, you murmured, “Let’s keep going.”

“Put me down, _____!” Frisk wiggled in your arms. “I wanna walk around!” Frisk hopped out of your grasp and jogged forwards, dragging you by the hand. “Let’s go!” In their excitement, Frisk tripped over a big branch in the middle of the snow. Bursting into laughter, you fell to your knees, practically crying. “It’s not funny!” Frisk pouted, picking themself up and brushing snow off their pants.

“Oh, but it is,” you snorted. Frisk kicked your shin.

“Let’s just keep going,” they muttered.

“Aw, don’t be so salty,” you teased, carefully stepping over the branch. “You might turn a lake into an ocean with that attitude.”

“You suck, _____!”

A loud snap behind the two of you made you freeze. When you turned around, you couldn’t see anyone, but the big branch was broken in half. “Let’s go.” Grabbing Frisk by the wrist, you quickly walked to the bridge you could see up ahead.

“There’s someone there!” Frisk whirled around to you, eyes wide. “Someone was there!” You looked behind you, but didn’t see anyone. “I SWEAR someone was there!”

That’s just great, you thought. A disappearing, unknown monster. Fan-fucking-tastic. “Hey, the bridge is right here. Let’s go. Now.”

“humans, don’t you know how to greet a new pal?” The deep voice made you jump, and Frisk let out a small shriek. “turn around and shake my hand.” Slowly, you turned around and Frisk grabbed a hand that was helpfully held out. A loud farting noise echoed all around, and you saw a skeleton in a blue coat, basketball shorts, and pink slippers. “ah, the good ol’ whoopie cushion in the hand trick.” Your sibling looked offended. “it never gets old.”

“PFFT!” Covering your mouth, you tried not to burst into laughter again. Frisk shot a look at you, but giggled as well.

“yo, you didn’t shake my hand,” accused the skeleton. “rude.”

“Ouch, I’m hurt. Oh no. How will I live on with all this hurt I feel at the current moment. Oh no,” you said sarcastically. The skeleton stuck out his hand and you stared at it. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the hand. Another loud farting noise. Frisk laughed very loudly and very fakely, clearly trying to offend you, but you smiled a bit too, so they stopped. “So, I’m _______, and this brat is Frisk, my younger sibling.”

“you’re humans. that’s hilarious. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. i’m supposed to be hunting for humans right now, but i don’t really care about catching anyone. now my brother, papyrus, is a human-hunting fanatic.” Sans peered over your shoulder. “i think that’s him, over there. here, let’s go to the other side of the bridge. you can hide behind that conveniently shaped lamp, kid. and you can hide behind that station.”

You and Frisk rushed to hide. Ducking under the counter, you peeked through a hole on the side the see a tall skeleton march over to Sans.

“‘sup, bro?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT ‘SUP,’ BROTHER! IT’S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND YOUR STATION!” The other skeleton, Papyrus, was yelling in a voice that would make librarians shudder. “WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?”

“staring at this lamp. it’s really cool. do you wanna look?” Shocked, you turned to look at Frisk, who looked betrayed. Your head whipped back and you peered through the hole again.

“NO!! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE!?!” A small chuckle came from your mouth. Sans clearly knew Papyrus wasn’t going to look. “I WANT TO BE PREPARED!!! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!” You became a little bored and zoned out.

Sans’s voice snapped you to reality. “hmm… maybe this lamp will help you.” The anger on Frisk’s face was evident, and they were standing like they were carved out of ice.

“SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!! YOU LAZYBONES!! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERYDAY!!!”

“hey, take it easy. i’ve gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton.” Trying your hardest to keep a straight face and not laugh, you bit your lip, hard.

“SANS!!!” shrieked Papyrus. He looked furious, but a smile showed up on his skull.

“c’mon. you’re smiling.”

“I AM AND I HATE IT!” Papyrus screamed. He sighed dramatically. “WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH TO GET SOME RECOGNITION…”

“wow, sounds like you’re really working yourself… down to the bone.” It was a good thing Papyrus began to scream at Sans, because you burst into laughter. Frisk looked at you distastefully.

 _“That was horrible,”_ they signed. _“Very horrible.”_

 _“Exactly,”_ you signed back. This was one of the moments where sign language was very helpful, even though Frisk could hear now (through magic, you were almost sure).

“I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE INTO IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHH!” Papyrus walked away, and you crawled out. “HEH!” Please don’t let him have seen me, you beg to yourself. Peeking around the corner, you saw Papyrus walk away for real.

“okay, you can come out now.”

“Those were _sans_ tastic.”

Sans looked amused and smiled even wider, but Frisk had a similar reaction as Papyrus did. “You both suck.”

“you oughta get going. he might come back. and if he does… you’ll have to listen to more of my hilarious jokes.” Sans winked. Frisk was gone in a millisecond.

“Thanks for your help.”

“no problem.”

You squinted at Sans. “Hey, have we met before? You seem so familiar… I just can’t quite place it…”

***SANS**

I smiled at ______. “you could say that, i s’pose.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “It’s gonna bug me forever…”

“uh, what about the kid?”

Her eyes shot open and she ran towards Frisk. “HEY! NERD! WAIT UP!”

Relief filled me to see her back to her old self. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder… Why was last time so different?

Was all of that really just Chara controlling her? Or was it her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions to make this better? Thanks!  
> (Also, I know this was not the greatest thing ever made. Apologies.)


	3. Apology Spaghetti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy, thanks for the kudos for those who left them, I really appreciate it! I also appreciate the other people who actually took time out of their day to read this. It means a lot to me! Tbh I didn't think this would get any positive feedback. I was expecting, like, negative kudos somehow. I also want to put it out there that I'll probably only be able to update on weekends, but I'll try to update sooner if you guys want me to.

“I’m cold.”

“Gee, maybe that’s because you were _rolling in the snow_ again, even after I told you to stop,” you scolded. Frisk scowled at you, wrinkling their nose. “Hey, it’s not my fault you didn’t listen. I warned you that you’d regret being a snow-human.”

Frisk shivered and sneezed, groaning. “I’m sorry, I’m just really cold… And it’s been so long since I’ve been able to play in the snow.” They sneezed so hard that they practically fell over. Sighing, you pulled off your sweater and slid it over Frisk. The sweater was way too big for them, but it would still keep them warm.

“Take it. I don’t need it.” Frisk raised an eyebrow and pointed to the goosebumps on your arm. “I’m cold, but I’m not getting sick like you are. C’mon, just keep the sweater or a while, alright?” Reluctantly, Frisk listened to you, and continued on. “And if you roll in snow again, I’m going to kick your tiny butt.”

“Lesson learned, promise. Are you sure you’re not cold?” Glancing to your side where Frisk was standing, you saw them eyeing the t-shirt you were wearing, as though judging you for lying about being cold. There were a few holes dotted across the bottom of the black shirt, and one big tear on a sleeve.

“‘M fine, stop worrying about it. I’ve been colder.” Frisk closed their eyes and nodded. Small fingers wrapped around your wrist as Frisk gently rested their head on your side. Smiling, you ruffled their hair. “Hey, we’re okay. It’s gonna be okay. I know we’ll be better off here.”

“Sometimes I miss the moon, and the stars,” Frisk said suddenly. “I miss the sun and I miss how Mom and Dad used to be. Sometimes…sometimes I miss life above ground.” Clenching your teeth, you forcefully let out a breath. It wasn’t like you weren’t expecting this to happen, you’d been waiting for a week now, but a small amount of shock went through you.

“You want to go back above ground, don’t you?” Frisk looked unsurely at you, and slowly nodded, as if ashamed. “H-hey, I was kinda expecting this. I miss the stars sometimes, too. Or the sun. But… they’re still up there. They were going to sell us to someone, they barely even gave us a second thought, Frisk. All they wanted was the money.”

“... Yeah. I know.”

An agonizing pause ensued. “Frisk… if you really… _really_ want to go back, I’ll try to help you. But please think about what’s waiting for us if we see _them_ , if we have to go back to them. Alright?” Frisk squeezed you, tightly in a hug.

“I love you, ____.”

“Love you too, Frisk. I’m here for you.”

“I know. I’m here for you too.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Frisk let go of you and continued walking. “Hey! Look, it’s Sans! Look!” As you peered over where your sibling ran towards, you indeed spotted the short skeleton in a blue coat. “C’mon, let’s say hi! Please!”

“It’s not like I said ‘no,’” you muttered, shuffling through the snow after Frisk. Frisk waved frantically to Sans, and in response Sans lazily waved back, before shoving his hand back into his pocket.

“yo, i have a-- are you cold?” Sans looked at you slightly alarmed, clearly thinking that a t-shirt was not adequate clothing for snow. You waved him off.

“I’m fine. What’s up?”

Sans stared at you, but shook his head and said, “right. sorry, i’ve got favor to ask of you guys. i kinda forgot to ask before because the kid ran off.”

“So… whaddya need?”

“well, pap’s been kinda down lately. seeing a human would make him pretty happy…” Sans trailed off. You narrowed your eyes, remembering Sans telling you to look out for him. Seeking him out seemed dangerous. “nononono, he’s harmless,” Sans interjected, reading your thoughts. You raised an eyebrow, as if to challenge him. “pap couldn’t hurt someone if his life depended on it, i swear.” A flash of blue crossed his eye, but it was gone in an instant. You blinked, and saw no blue, wondering if you imagined it. Sans continued, “it would make him really happy. please consider it?”

“LET’S DO IT!” shrieked Frisk, startling you.

“Now wait just a sec--”

“thanks a million. seeya up ahead,” interrupted Sans, walking back towards the bridge.

“You’re going the wrong way!” you called at him, but he just shrugged and ambled on. You turned your attention to Frisk. “Okay, if you’re going to go off and show yourself to the human-hunting skeleton, I have to come with you. And that means you gotta listen to me when I tell you to do stuff.”

“Whatever, I don’t care. We should try to make Papyrus happy! C’mon, please, I don’t want him to be sad.”

“I didn’t say we couldn’t. I said I have to be with you the whole time.” Frisk grabbed you and tugged on your arm, and the two of you continued through the snow. Up ahead, you could see two silhouettes. One of them, you could tell was Papyrus by the volume of his voice, but the other one… “No way,” you said.

***SANS**

______ stared at me in disbelief, and I tried my hardest not to snicker as she whipped her head behind her, as though to see if I was there as well. The kid just looked fascinated, as usual. They never questioned my teleportation like ______ did, and it was always fun to mess around with her using it.

“SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE--” Papyrus stopped talking, hearing the crunching snow. He spun around where the two humans were standing. Frisk was smiling widely, and ______ looked like she wanted to disappear, and shot me a look of annoyance. I shrugged, smiling even wider. Pap spun around to look at me, back in the human’s direction, back to me, back at the humans, back to me, back at the humans, and I copied him in amusement as he ended spinning in a circle. “SANS!! OH MY GOD!! IS THAT… A HUMAN?!?!?!?”

“uh, actually, i think that’s a rock.” ______ rolled her eyes at me, not realizing that my brother was indeed referring to the rock behind them.

“OH….” said Pap, squinting at the rock. Disbelief filled both of the humans’ faces, and I smiled even more.

“hey, what’s that in front of the rock?” Frisk waved crazily at Papyrus, practically screaming for Pap to notice them. As though ashamed of their younger sibling, ______  forcefully made Frisk put their arm down.

“OH MY GOD!!! *ARE-- ARE THOSE HUMANS*”

Stifling laughter at my brother’s expression of hope, I whispered back, “*yes*”

“OH MY GOD!!!” repeated Pap for the third time. Frisk jumped up and down, waving at Papyrus, and ______ picked them up and looked sternly forwards at nothing in particular. She glanced at me, and stuck out her tongue. Confliction crossed over me again. I should hate her for what she did, but then again I don’t know if it was her who did all of that. But she must have had some part in it… I closed my eyes tightly, trying to erase my thoughts, and opened them again. I realized Papyrus was walking away.

“well, that went well,” I said as smoothly as I could. Frisk looked excited, and I said sarcastically, “don’t sweat it, kid. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for ya.” She tried to hide it, but ______ grinned a little. I turned and followed the tracks Pap left in the snow.

***Y/N**

It had been far too long of a day to remember to be terrified of what happened when you fell asleep. You and Frisk had amused Papyrus with his puzzles, and you saw what Sans meant by Papyrus not being a threat. He was like a big teddy bear. Er, a big _skeletal_ teddy bear. Papyrus had mistakenly understood that Frisk wanted to date him, and Frisk complained to you that part of that was because of the bandana you gave them.

Oh well. It was cute to see Papyrus get all flustered by the apparent infatuation Frisk had for him, and how guilty Papyrus felt when he could not return the feelings. Kindly, Frisk told him that it was alright, but Papyrus insisted on giving Frisk apology spaghetti.

“DO YOU WISH FOR SOME APOLOGY SPAGHETTI AS WELL, HUMAN?” Papyrus said, looming over you. “I HAVE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, IF YOU ARE WORRIED THAT MY LAZYBONES BROTHER WILL NOT HAVE ENOUGH FOR DINNER.”

“Uh, sure. But it’s not really apology spaghetti for me, Papyrus. You don’t have any reason to be sorry.”

“I MADE YOUR SMALL HUMAN SIBLING UPSET BY NOT RETURNING ROMANTIC FEELINGS, AND MUST COMPENSATE FOR MY MISTAKES. I FEEL VERY VERY BADLY AND NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE BOTH HAPPY! I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!!”

“I thought skeletons had to stay calm, Papyrus.”

“WHY WOULD YOU THINK SUCH A THING, HUMAN?!?”

“Mainly because nothing can get under your skin.” You smiled widely at Papyrus, who responded to it with a look of horror.

“YOU ARE JUST AS BAD AS SANS. THAT WAS DESPICABLE. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SUCH A THING!”

“Why don’t you help yourself to apology spaghetti from me, then? Will I redeem myself?”

“APOLOGY SPAGHETTI IS A GOOD WAY TO REDEEM ONESELF. I WILL HELP MYSELF TO YOUR APOLOGY SPAGHETTI!!!” Papyrus hit a fist to his hip and looked heroically to the distance. “HOWEVER, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, STILL NEED TO MAKE UP TO YOU. HOW ABOUT YOU STAY HERE ON OUR COUCH TONIGHT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO SPEND MONEY ON THE INN?”

“Oh! T-that’s okay, Papyrus! I need to take care of Frisk, since they’re still a kid. I can’t leave them alone. Sorry, bud.”

“OH THAT IS ALRIGHT! YOUR HUMAN SIBLING CAN STAY HERE AS WELL!” You began to feel anxious. “PLEASE, I INSIST.”

Frisk opened the door to Papyrus’s room, holding a large tupperware container of spaghetti. There were giant, black letters that labeled the pasta “APOLOGY SPAGHETTI.”

“It’s okay with me if we stay here for the night,” said Frisk. Papyrus gasped, and Frisk quickly said, “I heard your offer while I was walking up the stairs. If I’m here, I don’t think ______ will have a problem.” You never told Frisk about your nightmares, because you didn’t want to scare them. You’d told about them to Torie,l and she had understood, always holding you tightly as you sobbed into your hands. The nightmares plagued you every night, and were always different, yet the same. They always started with you being trapped and unable to control yourself, with someone screaming in laughter at you as you tried to move. As the nightmares continued, you would always eventually find knives, and then… Then.... you slaughtered everything in sight. Blood was streaked across your face from the monsters and dust surrounded you in clouds. You remembered screaming as your body laughed when the knife came down on Toriel. Usually you’d wake up panting after that, but when they didn’t end there, they made you wake up howling and clawing at yourself. In the longer dreams, you remembered stabbing Frisk over and over, sobbing as blood hit your face and they shrieked for you to stop. But you couldn’t stop for whatever reason. The nightmare became blurry after Frisk’s death, but you knew in the way that you always seemed to know in dreams that others were killed by your hand.

The long dreams ended with you in a room bathed in golden sunlight from giant windows. You were covered in knives, all piercing your skin and sinking to the bones. Blue fire would engulf the room as an unknown voice would boom for you not to come back, and bones would stab you from every angle possible. At that point, you’d be awake. The dreams were all so real, and they filled you with chills. During the past month, you hadn’t gotten one of the long nightmares, but it still frightened you that they might come back.

“what’s going on?” You jumped and shrieked at the sudden voice behind you, falling backwards onto Sans. He let out a small yell in surprise at your extreme response, and you both tumbled to the ground. Jumping up, mortified, you glanced at Sans, whose cheekbones were a light blue color. A deep blush overcame you as you put your hands over your mouth.

“SANS! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME! JESUS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR YOU!”

“BROTHER! DON’T FRIGHTEN OUR NEW FRIENDS! YOU OUGHT TO MAKE SOME APOLOGY SPAGHETTI TO MAKE UP FOR IT!”

Sans’s face was still still blue when he stammered, “i-i didn’t think you would freak out so much! you never freaked out like that before, i’m so sorry, god. are you okay?”

“F-fine, just shaken.” The heat on your face slowly began to dissipate. You swallowed, and asked, “You’re okay, right?”

Sans looked surprised, and paused before answering. A smile grew back on his face. “i’m okay. guess you just rattled my bones.”

You laughed with Frisk and Papyrus shouted at Sans. “BROTHER! YOU NEED TO GIVE BOTH OF US APOLOGY SPAGHETTI NOW! THAT WAS EVEN WORSE THAN ______’S JOKE!”

“w-what-- hahaha-- joke?” Sans kept laughing between his words, and it made you and Frisk laugh harder.

“SHE TOLD ME THAT I COULDN’T GET STUFF UNDER MY SKIN SINCE I AM LACKING SAID SKIN!”

The way the tall skeleton phrased your joke somehow made it much funnier, and you all laughed as Papyrus yelled at the three of you for making horrible jokes.

By the time you got it together, you decided it would be alright if you stayed over at the skeleton brothers’ house for the night. As you and Frisk made yourselves comfortable, you didn’t even think about your nightmares. Frisk drifted off, and ten minutes later you followed suit.

The nightmares changed that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always welcome! Thanks. Also, I may edit these first few chapters quite a bit over time because I tend to write them when I'm really tired lol.


	4. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY I GOT TIME TO WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER YAY. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE KUDOS. IT IS MUCH APPRECIATED!

_It didn't make sense, but at the same time it did.  
_

_You were in danger; an immense threat was looming nearby. It filled you with... uneasiness._

_Someone in the distance was yelling for you, running towards you, and sobbing. A rosy red, stunning aura surrounded their puny body, and it was then you got that feeling of being watched, of being chased from behind you. It took barely even half of a second for you to get the hell away from where you standing, and you sped away, trying to flee that overpowering, dark, and horrifying force. The other person continued to run towards you, and you recognized them, and who they were. Clad in a blue sweater with two violet stripes, Frisk hurtled towards you in a panic. "COME BACK!" they screamed at you. "COME BACK!"_

_You reached out for them, and almost grabbed them, almost reached the safety of your little sibling, when you felt a freezing cold gust of wind hit you from behind with the force of a ram. Frisk was sent soaring backwards, and you felt the darkness creep closer to you. Another gust of wind hit even fiercer than before and the air was knocked out of you. Your lungs began to shriek for a breath as your chest tightened painfully. Falling to your knees, you tried to crawl back to Frisk, who was yet again hurtling towards you, but you instead succumbed to the pain of your chest and ended up curling up in silent screams of agony for a gasp of air, to inhale, to exhale, to feel the air in your body again. A small breath came to you, and in shuddering gasps, you picked yourself up, staggering towards the little angel._

_The dark abyss was right behind you when you were about three feet away from Frisk._

_"Sis, don’t leave me!” Frisk shrieked, almost closing the gap between you two. Small hands scrambled at your sleeves, and you reached your fingertips out to Frisk as you were dragged backwards by some force that you knew, but you didn’t.The blackness had caught you.  
_

_“FRISK!” The two of your hands laced around each other for half a second, but with one last forceful tug, you were ripped apart from each other. You landed face first, and you felt a tacky, hot liquid drip down your face. Nose hurting like hell, you tried to get to your knees. A demonic, hysterical laughter came booming from behind you, and rough hands sealed themselves around your ankles. Suddenly, you were practically flying backwards from the newly found strength the creature found to drag you with. Frisk was off in the distance, their screams calling for you echoing from what seemed to be forever away…_

_Reaching your hands out again, you shrieked as you were dragged through an abyss of darkness. Desperate to stop yourself from being pulled out of Frisk’s sight completely, you sank your fingernails into the ground, feeling slimy, like mud. A tar-like substance squelched through your fingers and your body began to sink through the disgustingness._

_“Hello. I am Chara,” chirped a child’s voice. There was something wrong with the voice, something wrong with the way it glitched like an old record player, yet still communicated smoothly. “Hello. I am Chara. Hello. I am Chara. I am Chara. I am Chara. Chara. Chara. Chara. Chara. CharaCharaCharaCharaCharaCharaCharaCharaCharaChara--” The voice was barely even human now, and sped through its own words until they slurred together, one over the other._

_“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” you wailed, trying to climb out of the goo, which was acting like a living being now, engulfing you entirely._

_“D i d  y o u  t h i n k  I  w a s  r e a l l y  g o n e  t h a t  e a s i l y ?” a little girl in a green sweater with a big, yellow stripe sneered at you._

_And then it was different. Blood and big clumps of flesh clung to the clothes you wore. Bile was all over one of your sleeves. “S-stop…” Looking to your feet, there was a puny, bloody mess that was weakly holding on to your ankle. “S-sis, w-w-what d-did I--” Frisk threw up blood with something purple-looking all over the snow. Lungs were that purple color. “W h y . . . ?”_

_A grin spread across your face. Frisk choked on their blood, gurgling before their eyes rolled backwards in their head. They were gone. Giggles filled the air. Were they yours? Were they Chara’s? It didn’t really matter. It had been your body after all. Your body was the reason Frisk was dead._

_Doubling over with laughter, tears began to drip from your cheeks. Harsh, dry sobs joined the happy laughter._

_You were being torn into two pieces. One part Chara, one part yourself._

_A red scarf rested in a pile of dust next to Frisk’s mutilated body._

_Horror filled you when it came to you, that Frisk died by your hand. Their blood stained your clothes and stained your being; your sins crawled down your back, scratching and ripping your soul to shreds._

_“Y o u  c a n ‘ t  g e t  r i d  o f  m e ,  _______ .”_

_Screams burst from deep within your soul._

***SANS**

I tossed and turned in my bed, too worried that something bad would happen if I slept. 

I would never let the previous timeline happen again, and even if it meant killing her… I couldn’t see everyone suffer the same way again. I had to do something to save all of them.

And even if I wasn’t worried about a genocidal path occurring again, sleep would have evaded me.

I hadn't been sleeping much, no matter how much Pap would have denied it. Sometimes I would pass out during the day from the exhaustion, which was generally what my brother would see.

I'd always had nightmares. With all the resets, and all the endings that were almost happy, it was unavoidable. But this time, the nightmares I had were petrifying, and I almost always woke up in tears. My dreams were full of  _her._ Sobs and laughter from _her_ were what consumed my thoughts. A zombie-like monstrosity that lived in _____’s skin running at me with a knife, slashing and stabbing frantically, no matter the wounds. Determination to kill everything in sight engrossed her past death, past everything that made her who she was. She was funny once, clever, compassionate, merciful to almost all she met, no matter how much they’d attacked her.

If Undyne had tried to obliterate me time and time again, there was no way I would have even _spared_ her, let alone be her best friend. Frisk and ______ were too kind for their own good back then. Frisk, as timelines continued, decided they got along better with my pacifistic brother than the courageous (and a bit homicidal) fish-woman. Understandably so. However, _____ loved Undyne no matter what. They referred to themselves as “partners in justice” whenever someone would have the audacity to ask such a moronic question.

They got into fights once or twice, but never actually did anything to hurt each other _too_ much.

So when I saw Undyne die, it was almost too much.

Shrill, agonized screams awakened me from my thoughts abruptly, and all I could think was that the kid was being attacked. Tearing my way out of bed, I teleported to the first floor, ready to fight whatever hell she was invoking. But then… I saw it.

Frisk was unhurt and beginning to cry, trying to calm their sister down as best they could, gently edging over to them on the old couch. ______ was tearing at her hair, and shrieking like a banshee, staring at nothing, jerking and twitching like she was having a seizure. I stared at her, glued where I stood, bewildered and horrified. Papyrus flew down the stairs.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE OLDER HUMAN? HUMAN! HUMAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WE ARE ALL HERE BY YOU, YOUR FRIENDS! DON’T FEAR!” Papyrus slowly edged towards ______, and gave me an angry glare. “SANS! COME HELP THE HUMAN!”

Frisk laid their hand on ______’s shoulder softly, worried. Their sister froze, and gradually turned to face the owner of the hand. As she saw whose hand it was, she began to scream even louder, scuttling backwards, a spider dancing away from heavy footsteps. “I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I'M SORRY! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT!! GET OUT!” Pap and Frisk instantly recoiled and stood away from ______.

She dashed out of the house, screaming. Realization hit me hard, and I ran after her, calling out her name.

“I WILL STAY WITH THE SMALLER HUMAN, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THEM!” Pap yelled after me as I slammed the door shut.

“_______!” I hollered, peering about. A twinge of guilt hit me when I thought about how everyone was probably sleeping and here ______ and I were, waking them all up.

Sobs rang out from over where the kid, her, and Pap had “fought” earlier. I opened a door and sped through it, popping out by where ______ was huddled in a crying ball. “... hey,” I said softly, crouching down to her. “what’s wrong? no one hurt you, right?” She shook her head , wrapping her arms around her knees and rocking herself back and forth. “what happened, then? you didn’t make a scene just for the hell of it.”

“Nightmare,” she said hollowly. “New nightmare. Bad one.” Hesitantly, I rested myself into the snow beside her.

“do you… wanna talk about it?”

“Not really…”

“you sure? it helps, you know.”

______ swallowed. “I guess.”

“you don’t have to.”

There was an uncomfortable pause. “I’m a murderer,” she blurted. I stiffened up, feeling like I knew what she was talking about. “I-I killed them. Both of them. And, and I was trapped. I couldn’t get out. I had to watch and didn’t have control. It-- I-- I didn’t want to! T-here was someone controlling m-me! Ch-chara, they called th-themselves and she wanted to kill everyone and I couldn’t stop her I couldn’t do anything, I just watched as she killed them.” _____ was shaking again. "I killed Frisk. And... some other people too. There was blood all over everything. And I just watched as I killed, and I couldn't stop killing anyone, and they all died. I-I'd been having dreams like them ever since I got down here, but this one... This one... with Chara... this one has been the worst yet." Her eyes were watering again. "The name seems so familiar. _Chara._ "

Chills flooded over me as I listened to her talk about her dream. She'd say Chara's nameover and over again. “so you remember then,” I blurted out. I clapped my hand over my mouth as the words left my mouth, but it was too late. Horrified, I looked over at her, but she didn’t look fazed in the slightest.

She must have felt me staring at her, because she shot a worried glance at me. “W-what? Sorry I… was in my own world there. What did you say?”

She didn’t hear, was my first, relieved thought. But then again, she did ask me what I said, and I couldn’t exactly “nothing” myself out of this situation. “i said… uh… let’s go back to the house.”

“No, that’s not it,” she said, and tilted her head.

Think fast, Sans, I thought. “would i tell a you _fibula_?” Yes, good. A pun. Puns are good. Good job, I silently praised myself.

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, and she rolled her eyes. “Yes, probably. You tell Papyrus that you’re working.”

“ouch. i’m personally offended. those are well-deserved breaks.”

“You mean _naps._ ”

“there are naps within the breaks, but sometimes pap will come and wake me up, unfortunately.” I was thankful she dropped the subject. There would be a time to ask about that, but now, right after an emotional breakdown, was not the time.

“Wow. Guess you could say he wakes you from the _dead_ ,” she joked. _____ seemed thankful to be off the subject of her dream as much as I was.

I snorted. “i’ll _patella_ you this much, it ain’t _humerus_ when he does so.”

“Papyrus seems like a real sweetheart usually though, even if he can be a bit _sternum_.”

“oh, yeah. he works himself to the _bone_.”

“Boo, you used that one before. I’m the new pun master.”

“pfft. i let you win.”

“Sore loser,” _____ accused me.

“can’t be sore, no muscles.” She laughed lightly. “i’ll take that throne back, thanks.” I mimed putting on a crown and holding a scepter.

She giggled again, but quickly fell silent. “I didn’t scare them too much, did I? Frisk and Pap?”

I lazily closed my eyes. “they’re worried, but i do think you should go back soon.”

“I-I can go now.”

I peeked at her, reopening one of my eyes. “you sure?” Determination filled her eyes.

“Yeah. I’ve got this,” she affirmed. “Can’t just leave them hanging like that, right?” Standing up, she wiped some snow off her jeans, to little effect, seeing as they were soaking wet. ______ shivered, moving carefully.

“you may have not been cold before, but you definitely are now,” I mentioned to her.

“‘S fine,” responded _____.

“no, you humans can die of cold. alphys told me. put this on.” I shrugged out of my coat and tossed it at her.

“How _ice_ of you,” laughed _____ as she slid on the jacket, shoving her fists into the pockets. The hood was pulled over her head immediately after.

“what can i say, i’m a pretty _chill_ guy.”

“Oh god. We’re both terrible.”

“ _snow_ kidding.”

“If Papyrus heard us, he’d scream bloody murder.”

“hey, it’s going _tibia_ okay if he does. pap hasn’t _got the heart_ to hurt anyone.”

“I take it back. I’ll be _spine_ , but you’d better watch your back.”

“that’s _humerus_.”

“I thought you were better than recycling. I was clearly incorrect.”

“throw me a _bone_ , here.”

“Better, but still not _sansational_.” We shuffled to the front door of my house, and ______’s playful demeanor slid off her face, and she looked suddenly very anxious again. “Shit,” she hissed to herself.

“hey, it’s going to be fine. pap and frisk will be overjoyed to see you back. trust me,” I reassured her. _____ inhaled deeply, and opened the door.

***Y/N**

“SIS!” Frisk screamed the moment you opened the door. They sprinted towards you and hit you like a football player.

“ _Oof_. Hey kiddo.” You raised Frisk off the ground and squeezed them tightly. “Sorry for the scare. I just had a really bad dream, like how you used to get, remember?”

Something wet and warm dripped onto your cheek. “I was really scared. I thought maybe someone hurt you somehow.”

You laughed weakly and wiped the tears off Frisk’s cheeks. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m fine.” You briefly scanned the area you were in. “Where’s Papyrus?”

“Oh! He’s in his room. Pap was reading to me to help calm me down, it was really nice of him! But I came downstairs to wait for you.” Frisk smiled. “And Sans, too,” they added as an afterthought.

“thanks kid,” piped up Sans, scootching past you. “did papyrus fall asleep?” he asked.

“Uhh, I dunno. He wasn’t sleeping when I was up there.”

Sans made a disapproving noise. “mmm. i’m going to check on him.” Sans shuffled up the stairs.

“Why are you wearing Sans’s coat?” Frisk questioned, poking your shoulder.

“I was sitting in the snow, and I got cold. So Sans graciously let me borrow his jacket. That’s the only reason.”

“Are you sure?”

Uh, what? “Am I sure what?”

“That that’s why Sans let you use his coat.”

What’s that kid talking about? “Pretty sure, pal. What other reasons does he have?”

Setting Frisk down, they shrugged. “I dunno. I was just wondering.”

“SANS! IS THE HUMAN BACK ALRIGHT?!” Papyrus shouted from his room. There were some murmurs that you could recognize as Sans’s voice, and Papyrus shot out of his bedroom in an instant. “HUMAN!” Papyrus fled over to you and lifted you off the ground in a hug that would make boa constrictors jealous. “I AM VERY RELIEVED TO SEE YOU BETTER! I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE MY NEW FRIENDS ON THE VERY FIRST DAY OF MAKING THEM!”

“Thanks for the concern, Papyrus,” you wheezed, patting his back lightly. “I appreciate it.”

Papyrus seemed to take that as a sign to hug you even tighter. “IT IS MY DUTY TO MAKE MY FRIENDS HAPPY, HUMAN! ALSO, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO ALSO USE MY VERY SPECIAL AND FRIENDLY NICKNAME!”

“uh, bro, maybe you should put the human down, now,” Sans chuckled from behind you. You jerked in Papyrus’s grip in surprise. “their faces aren’t made to turn red like that.”

“AH! MY APOLOGIES, HUMAN!” Papyrus gently put you back on your feet.

“Much appreciated,” you gasped, holding your stomach. Catching your breath, you asked, “Which nickname?” to Papyrus.

Papyrus puffed out his chest (somehow) in pride and smiled. “THE NICKNAME RESERVED FOR MY FRIENDS TO CALL ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, IS ‘BUDDY.’”

Well, you were expecting it to be ‘Pap,’ but you didn’t question it, and grinned at the towering skeleton. “Well then, _buddy_ , I’m very grateful for how kind you’re being to Frisk and I. We couldn’t ask for better hosts.”

An orangey-pink blush spread across Papyrus’s cheekbones. “no problem, pal,” said Sans from the kitchen, who walked out of it holding some spaghetti.

“Wha-- how did-- what?” Confused, you looked at Sans, then back behind you where he just had been a second ago.

Sans’s lazy smile grew on his mouth, and he handed Papyrus the spaghetti. “BROTHER, WHAT IS THIS FOR?”

“figured you’d want some spaghetti before you went to bed.” Sans shrugged.

“WELL, FOR ONCE YOU THOUGHT RIGHT!” Papyrus hollered. He ran back upstairs. “GOODNIGHT, HUMANS! GOODNIGHT, BROTHER!”

“‘night.”

“Night, buddy!”

“Goodnight,” Frisk yawned.

As the door to Papyrus’s room slammed shut, you turned to Frisk. “Uh, oh. Someone’s sleepy. Let’s get you comfy, okay?” Frisk murmured something that sounded like an agreement, and shuffled to the couch. You gently placed a blanket over them and kissed their forehead. “Night, sweetie.” You were pretty tired yourself, but you were way too worried that another nightmare would happen to sleep.

“i’m gonna go to bed, too,” piped up Sans. You’d almost forgotten him.

“Wait, uh, lemme get this back to you real quick,” you whispered, not wanting to disturb Frisk, who already began snoring.

“you can keep it for tonight. it’s fine.”

“Nah, I insist. Here,” you said, handing the fluffy, blue coat to Sans. “I’m not really all that cold anymore. Kinda used to it. I’ll get overheated with this the whole night.” Sans plucked the jacket from your hands, a little uncertainly, but smiled wider nonetheless.

“well, if you’re sure, it’s okay, i guess.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna… I’m gonna try to get some sleep.” You wrung your hands together, anxiously looking back at the couch.

“hey, uh. i can stay up with you, if you want. there will be plenty of time to nap tomorrow.” A little startled, you looked back at Sans. “sometimes… after a really bad nightmare… well, i know it’s hard to get back to sleep.” Once again, Sans was wearing his coat, but he had pulled the hood up this time. You paused, chewing your lip. A small part of you wanted to tell Sans that you were fine, and he should go back to sleep. But then there was a giant, pulsing vein of fear telling you to never sleep again. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you remembered your dream. “hey, hey, you’re alright.” Sans wrapped his arm around you, holding you up, as if he were afraid you’d collapse if he let go. “i’m right here. you’re okay, you’re okay…”

A small snore from behind you alerted you that Frisk had fallen asleep. Choking back sobs, you rocked yourself back and forth, back and forth, trying to console yourself in the familiar motion. “It felt so _real_ ,” you finally choked out. “Like it was really happening. It was terrifying...”

Sans flinched a bit, but quickly recovered and began rubbing your back. “i know the feeling,” he hummed. “but you’re okay now. pap and i, we’ll take care of you. _both_ of you. we want to help you guys in every way we can.”

Shuddering, you sighed and leaned against Sans’s shoulder-bone. The blue jacket softened the bone just enough so that you weren’t uncomfortable. “I’m just scared,” you whispered again. Sans continued consoling you, making you feel more relaxed. After some time, the skeleton’s words faded away as you succumbed to your drowsiness.

***SANS**

As _____ drooped into my shoulder, I leaned against the couch, careful not to wake her. I felt horrible, like the worst monster in the Underground that I was still admittedly, a little scared of what she would do. But seeing how distraught she was from that dream made me feel both a little better and hurt to see her so… broken. She’d seen me cry, once, but I’d never seen her cry like _that_ before. Not ever. In previous timelines, she would cry every once in awhile, but she’d never broken down in a flurry of tears before.

I shut my eyesockets, sinking my head into the cushion behind me. ______ groaned and buried her face deeper into my shoulder. I felt a blue blush creep up on my face and turned my head a bit to look at her. Her mouth was slightly agape, and some of her hair had settled in front of her face. Slightly raising myself, I brushed the beautiful hair behind her ear. Content, I relaxed again, and soon, I felt myself drifting off as well.

It felt like forever since the last time I was this close to _____.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions to make this story better? Thanks!


	5. Papyrus Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't update on the weekend cuz I was busy. ._. I am sorry. So if this is kinda horrible, it is entirely my fault because I really wanted to update.

Loud giggles were the first thing that you heard when you woke up. You blearily opened your eyes to see Papyrus and Frisk staring at you in what looked like pure delight, both holding their cell phones in front of them, directed towards you. “Whatsgoinon?” Your words slurred together, and you cringed at the jumbled mess.

Frisk snorted. “Why don’t you tell us?”

“YES, HUMAN, WHY _DON’T_ YOU TELL US?” Papyrus shouted excitedly.

“What are you talkin’ about?” you muttered. It was around that point that you realized your head was still resting on Sans’s shoulder, as it had been the night before. What was new about how you were sleeping was that Sans had an arm wrapped around you, and his skull was resting on your head gently. “Oh,” you squeaked. Well, that explained it then.

Frisk and Papyrus burst into laughter, tears coming from their eyes.

"NYEH! NYEH! NYEH HEH!" chortled Papyrus.

Frisk giggled loudly next to him, pulling their sweater over their lips as they laughed.

Scorching heat spread across your cheeks as you blushed deeply and shot up from the position. Your entire body was screaming at you from the sudden movement, and your neck began to cramp painfully. Sans groaned, and lazily opened an eye as your head left his shoulder. “what…?” Sans blinked, and opened his eyes wider. As soon as he spotted Frisk and Papyrus, he uttered a quiet “oh” and blushed a deep blue.

“BROTHER! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU AND THE OLDER HUMAN WERE ENGAGED IN THE DATING PROCESS?!?!” shrieked the tall skeleton.

“whoa whoa whoa, we’re not dating,” Sans weakly protested, leaping up from where he was sitting. You hid in your hands, mortified. Oh god. Papyrus and Frisk thought you two were dating. You didn’t know why, but the thought made you insanely shy.

“THE SMALL HUMAN SAYS THAT WHEN PEOPLE SLEEP WHILE SNUGGLING THAT THEY ARE DATING. ARE THEY MISINFORMED OR ARE YOU LYING?” You lifted your hands from your face to glare at Frisk, who grinned even wider and shrugged.

“Papyrus, we weren’t snuggling. I just had my head on his shoulder,” you said as clearly and confidently as you could. Admittedly, it was not all that convincing because of that _damned_ persistent blush, but you pretended that it didn’t exist.

"BUT MY BROTHER HAD HIS ARM WRAPPED AROUND YOU," said Papyrus loudly and pointedly.

Sans picked up this time. “bro, we aren’t dating. i promise you. that was just cuz _____ was-- uh…” Sans glanced at you uncertainly. You picked yourself off the floor and waved at him to go on. It was nice that he was checking before revealing information, but if he didn’t say anything it would be a lot worse. “well, _____ was still pretty shaken up from that nightmare she had. i stayed up to keep her company so she wouldn’t be as scared.” Sans looked at you again, and you nodded at him. That was fairly accurate, after all.

Frisk, who was pretty passive, said, “Oh. Okay, sorry.” They looked a little guilty.

“Oh no sweetie, it was a genuine misunderstanding. Don’t feel bad.” You rushed to Frisk’s side and rubbed their shoulders gently. They looked up at you and smiled a bit.

“kid, it’s okay. i would have thought the same if i was in that situation,” added Sans.

“SO… YOU ARE NOT DATING THE HUMAN?” Papyrus looked a little crestfallen.

“nope. we aren’t… _verte_ baes.”

“SANS!” hollered Papyrus, clearly upset.

“Aw, don’t _skulk,_ buddy,” you said as calmly as you could.

Papyrus’s eyes (Where did those come from?) popped from his eyesockets. “SANS! YOU HAVE BROKEN THE HUMAN!”

“i’ve _bone_ ken them?”

“Oh god, that was a stretch. Or at least it would have been if you had muscles,” Frisk piped up innocently. You and Sans both began to laugh.

“NOOOOO!” Papyrus jumped up and down in fury. Frisk was laughing again, and you smiled a little.

“don’t be upset, bro. i don’t have the _heart_ to see you hurt.”

You snorted loudly. “C’mon, buddy, these are pretty _rib_ -tickling.”

As the morning continued on, you and Sans playfully shot puns back and forth, with Frisk tossing in an occasional joke. Papyrus looked very grumpy as he ate his spaghetti (which you were quickly realizing was a popular dish in the skeleton brothers’ household).

“What do you call pasta made by skeletons?” asked Frisk.

This quickly made Papyrus jump up and look energetic again. “WHAT DO YOU CALL PASTA MADE BY SKELETONS?!”

“Creepypasta,” Frisk shouted. Horror instantly replaced the energy on Papyrus’s face. You and Sans, however, burst into uproarious laughter. You were laughing so hard,  in fact, that your eyes began to water and your stomach began to cramp.

“THIS IS THE WORST BREAKFAST OF ALL TIME,” declared Papyrus. “THESE PUNS ARE RUINING MY DAY. AND MY DAY HAS BARELY STARTED!!!”

“bro, bro, we’re sorry,” sniggered Sans. “we’ll stop.”

Papyrus sighed, relieved, and Sans stuck to his word and stopped spouting out puns. You and Frisk followed his lead, feeling a little guilty for tormenting the jubilant skeleton. There was a pause as you all continued eating your spaghetti breakfasts, when Papyrus suddenly piped up, “SANS, YOU KNOW WHAT?”

“what bro?” asked Sans. You noticed that Sans, even though you didn’t see him raise his fork once, was already done with his spaghetti. Brushing it off, you continued eating your food. The spaghetti, even though it was not necessarily _bad_ , was not superb, but you didn’t want to hurt Papyrus’s feelings and continued eating anyways. You figured you could always head over to that Grillby’s place later if you were hungry.

“YOU AND THAT HUMAN WOULD MAKE A GREAT COUPLE!” You choked on your spaghetti in shock, and felt yourself blush even more deeply than before. You glimpsed at Sans, who was also blushing again. Sans looked almost even more flustered than you did.

“You guys really would!” agreed Frisk exuberantly. Wow, did someone set your face on fire with a flamethrower? Because it sure felt that way right now.

Sans pulled his hoodie over his head and yanked it to cover his blush as best he could. “w-what makes you say that?”

“YOU BOTH MAKE HORRIBLE PUNS AND ARE VERY NICE TO ME,” said Papyrus. “YOU ALSO WERE VERY ADORABLE WHEN YOU WERE SLEEPING THIS MORNING.” Papyrus was smiling even wider. He took out his phone and showed you and Sans a picture of… Well, you and Sans. In the picture, your head was burrowed into Sans’s shoulder, and despite your hair being a mess, you looked comfortable, happy, and… safe? Your mouth was hanging open a little bit. Beside you, Sans was resting his head on yours, and using his right arm to hold you even closer. Well, Papyrus wasn’t wrong. It was very cute. As you thought about how cute it actually looked, you blushed even deeper. That’s great, you thought. You probably looked like a tomato. A big, embarrassed tomato. “NYEHEHEHEH!” Papyrus looked extremely triumphant, and you again turned to look at Sans, who was peeping from under his hood to look at the picture. Sans’s blush was getting even more blue. Wonderful. Here you were, one flustered tomato and another mortified blueberry.

“i’m going to work,” Sans announced, his voice much higher than normal. His whole face was still violently blue, but Sans rushed out of the house. “seeya later,” he peeped as the door shut behind him.

“HUMAN! YOU SHOULD GO FOLLOW MY BROTHER AND CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO HIM!” Papyrus was staring at you intensely. There were no words to describe how much you wanted to disappear from existence at that point, and you sunk down in your chair.

“Sis! What’re you waiting for?!” Frisk asked.

“I’m melting,” you claimed, hiding your face in your hands as a weak attempt to hide your humiliation.

“HUMANS CANNOT MELT. AT LEAST… I DON’T?? THINK?? THEY CAN????”

“They can’t,” assured Frisk. “She’s embarrassed. That’s why she said it.”

“OH DEAR! I AM SORRY HUMAN! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”

“‘S fine,” you said. Your face was still burning hot, and you could swear that you felt yourself sweating. Oh god. This was not how you wanted to start your morning.

Everyone finished their breakfast in silence after that. “HUMANS,” Papyrus said, breaking the silence again.

“Yeah?” Frisk asked.

“I-I WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU COULD STAY HERE, AT OUR HOUSE, JUST A BIT LONGER. YOU SEE, UP AHEAD, THERE IS MY GREAT FRIEND UNDYNE. AND EVEN THOUGH SHE IS GREAT, SHE IS NOT QUITE AS GREAT AS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS. MEANING, SHE HAS A BIT OF A GRUDGE AGAINST… HUMANS. THEREFORE, I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU BOTH TO STAY HERE UNTIL YOU HAVE RESTED, REGAINED YOUR STRENGTH, AND ARE… A BIT MORE SAFE-FEELING BEFORE YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR JOURNEY.” Papyrus was looking extremely anxious.

“Sis, we should take the offer,” Frisk said. “You… I don’t want you to get hurt if you have another nightmare. Please... let’s stay here a while longer.”

You thought it was really sweet that they were both worried about you. But you were almost certain you’d be okay if you continued. On the other hand, you were scared. Those nightmares… they seemed almost too real. And there was that gut feeling that Sans knew more about your nightmare than he let on. When you dazed off, you knew he said something that he thought he shouldn’t have, because of how his skeletal hand was covering his mouth. Plus… you liked Snowdin, and the snow all over. You’d never really gotten to enjoy it before. “I-- I’ll stay here for a little while, okay? But if our presence hurts you or Sans, Frisk and I will keep going. I can’t let any more people get hurt.”

“Any more people?” Frisk echoed.

You froze. That had come out of nowhere. Yet it seemed true. “I mean… like how you got hurt?” you said, unsurely. That wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie. “Yeah, like how you used to get hurt when I would do something bad.” Absently, you tugged your t-shirt down to cover the scars around your bellybutton, where your biggest scar of all rested. Frisk nodded, suddenly looking guilty. “Hey, it wasn’t your fault, kid. You couldn’t have known.”

“I FEEL LIKE I AM MISSING SOME CRUCIAL INFORMATION, YET AGAIN.” Oh. Oh, no. You’d forgotten about Papyrus.

Frisk looked haunted. They were remembering everything. “Hey… Paps…” _Paps_? Oh well. You couldn’t dwell on the nickname you’d just given your skeletal friend now. “Frisk and I will tell you about it another time. All you need to know is that our lives, up above, were not good. We fell down here trying to get away from them.”

“OH. THAT IS QUITE ALRIGHT, HUMAN. I DON’T WANT TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU MAY SHARE THIS INFORMATION IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU WILL BE OKAY DOING SO. UNTIL THEN, I HAVE PRACTICE WITH UNDYNE. I WILL SEE YOU LATER, HUMANS!”

Relieved, you waved at Papyrus as he walked out. When the door closed, Frisk turned to you, about to cry. “Hey, hey, hey, c’mere,” you whispered. You spread your arms wide as Frisk ran into you, making you say _oof_. “You didn’t know what they were going to do. It’s my fault, and it’s my fault that you have a scar. It’s not your fault that I have more. And you know what? We never have to see them again. We’re safe now.” Frisk whimpered, and hugged you even tighter. “Shh… It’s okay… It’s okay… I’ve got you. Nothing’s gonna happen to you as long as I’m around. I’d rather die than let you get hurt.” A flash of your dream came to you,  and you saw the blood. You shut your eyes tightly and squeezed Frisk.

“Sis?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

They opened their mouth, then closed it again, seemingly searching for words. “...I love you. You-- you’re the best sister ever.”

You doubted that that was what Frisk wanted to say, but you went with it. “Honey, I love you too. You’re the best little punk ever.”

“Little punk?!” Frisk looked offended, and you stifled laughter. “Little punk my butt, BLUSHY-BLUSHY.”

“H-hey! That’s totally different!”

“Sureee it is.”

You and Frisk playfully argued for a bit before going outside to explore the rest of Snowdin, and you apologized to everyone you came across for the screaming, which everyone was overwhelmingly kind about. There was a rabbit monster who ran a little store that gave you some gold to go and buy something to soothe yourself with.

You loved the Underground.

***SANS**

This timeline was all new, and I wasn’t ready for it at all.

Before, all the timelines were at least similar. And now, there was _____ with what seemed like PTSD, Frisk being much more talkative than ever before, and most recently, there was Papyrus yelling that _____ and I would make a great couple.

God. It almost seemed like too much to process, but then again, the last genocidal timeline was new as well.

I would take this one over that one in an instant, but still, it had been so long since anything new happened. It was _always_ the same routine. They’d come into Snowdin, they’d become great friends with everyone here Underground; I’d eventually tell _____ that I liked her, and then usually I would get friend-zoned, which always sucked. She was always still really great friends with me though, which I appreciated. Every once in awhile, we’d end up dating.

Those timelines were always some of the best ones. And not just because _____ and I would get together, either. Everyone was just happier. They all were living great lives, and it was perfect. But then… at some point, they would all circle back to the same ending, no matter what I did. _____ would die either by Asgore’s hand or by Flowey’s hand and Frisk would reset and I would have dreams that could be good memories of past timelines, which I would always cry about when I woke up because they were _gone_ , or I’d have nightmares of her _dying_ , which made me wake up screaming. But ever since the last timeline… they’d all been about her killing everyone and everything in her path.

God.

“Sans!” I raised my head slowly from my sentry station to see Frisk. “Sans! Hi!” They were waving at me again.

“hey, kid,” I said. Peering around, I asked, “where’s your sis?”

Frisk grinned mischievously. “You mean your _girlfriend_?”

Oh, no. Not Frisk, too. “she’s not my girlfriend; i’ve known her for a day. she is my _friend_ , though, and i do wanna know where she is. she doesn’t seem like she likes it when you’re alone.” I smiled a little, looking off to the side. _____ hated Frisk wandering off, because she couldn’t protect them.

“Pfft. Whatever. She’s walking around _apologizing_ to everyone in the history of _ever_.” They looked to the side a bit annoyed. “She’s not playing with me, and so I went off to have fun alone.”

“wow. sounds like you have a _bone_ to pick with her.”

“Oh good god. That wasn’t even _punny_.”

“that’s old material. didn’t even tickle my funny bone.”

“I’m trying my best, here.”

I chuckled. “wanna go to grillby’s? i know pap’s cooking isn’t exactly the best thing in the world.”

“I like Papyrus but his cooking needs some improvement.”

“c’mon kid.” I started walking opposite of the way to Grillby’s, and Frisk stared at me, confused. “i know a shortcut,” I explained, trying not to laugh at the kid’s perplexed expression.

“Okay…” We walked, and I turned around a tree with the kid and quickly teleported us to Grillby’s. Frisk fell over. “W-what?!” They looked mind-blown.

I smiled even wider, to their annoyance. “fast shortcut, eh?”

“B-but! But! But how?” The pointed at me accusingly. “You used magic or something!”

Add that to the list of new things about this timeline. “pfft. let’s go. hey everyone.”

Monsters greeted me as I sat down. Frisk hopped up on the stool next to me. “Can I get a burger?”

“sure kid.” I turned to Grillby. “two burgers, grillby.”

Grillby nodded and left to go get the burgers. “Sans…”

“yeah, kid?”

“After you and _____ came back… and I went to bed… I had a nightmare, too.” I froze, looking at the kid. They looked scared, worried, and something else that I couldn’t quite place. “I-I was going to tell her about it, b-but… I think it would have scared her, too.”

“kid…”

“She-- she was trapped. And then… something… _similar_ to her went around and it killed _everyone._ And the worst part was that it was more like a m-memory than a dream.”

“.... ever heard of timelines, kiddo?”

The kid stared at me, frozen. “I saw something about it. Are you saying…?”

Grillby set our burgers down in front of us. “don’t tell your sis, alright? i’ve known you two for a long time. and the only reason i’m telling you this when i didn’t tell her is because i know your soul can take it. i know that you’ll remember sometime or later. but… the thing in your dream.”

“I know… it wasn’t actually her, was it?”

“no.”

“I promise I won’t tell her.”

“good. want some ketchup?”

Frisk held their burger out, and I handed them a bottle of ketchup. Frisk dumped the ketchup on their burger, and as usual, the cap fell off and drowned their burger. We had some fun joking around for a bit, and I relaxed a bit. I had to keep telling myself that it was Chara, not _____. Frisk took the news so well that I was a little shocked. But then again, it _was_ Frisk. _____ burst through the doors about thirty minutes later, yelling at Frisk for not telling her where they were going. Frisk sadly left Grillby’s with ______ pulling them away, and she lightly waved at me as they walked out. I waved back a little, and sighed as I went home. Papyrus yelled about having the humans staying with us a bit longer.

I was alright with that.

I could keep an eye on _____--Chara-- whoever it was-- better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always welcome!


	6. Sleepless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IS SHORT. I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK AND WASN'T ALLOWED TO USE ELECTRONICS

You were still extremely uncomfortable staying at Sans’s and Papyrus’s house, but you didn’t want either of them to worry. Plus… the idea of another nightmare still haunted you. Papyrus offered to let you sleep downstairs alone so you wouldn’t wake up Frisk, and let Frisk use his bed since Papyrus “didn’t want to be a lazybones and nap all night.” Sans tried to explain _sleeping_ again, but Papyrus wouldn’t have it. Frisk and Papyrus had gone up to the room a while ago, and you had the feeling they were both asleep. Sleep evaded you as you expected it would, and you decided to watch some television to entertain yourself.

All that was on T.V was a big cube named Mettaton that seemed utterly obsessed with himself. You weren’t really a fan, but when you tried to read the joke book on the table next to the couch and opened it to a quantum physics book, which had a joke book inside of it, which had a quantum physics book inside it, which had...  You got bored of finding a never ending loop. Although you weren’t completely sure what you were expecting from one of Sans’s books. Anyways, you kept watching television despite Mettaton being pretty annoying.

You began to wonder if there was anything to do to distract yourself, when you remembered that you hadn’t really checked out the “librarby” in Snowdin yet. (Heh. You loved pointing that error out.) Mettaton at this point was just annoying you, so you took out a scrap of paper, wrote “I’m outside, don’t worry about me. I’ll be at the library! ~_____”

Lightly picking up your sweater (which Frisk had finally returned), you left the house as quietly as you could, taking a deep breath and relaxing. Maybe you wouldn’t have a nightmare again. When you fell asleep the second time you didn’t have one after all. But Sans was there. You suddenly blushed, and kept walking to the “librarby.” That was really embarrassing. You weren’t sure you were up to having that experience with Papyrus and Frisk again. It might have been okay if you’d woken up lying on Sans’s shoulder. Sure, you’d still be embarrassed, but it would not have been _that_ embarrassing.

You finally reached the home of the books and went to push the door only to realize that the door was locked. Well. That was no good. Taking a step back, you stared at the door for a moment, before walking over to Grillby’s. Grillbz seemed pretty nice when you talked to him, and you vaguely recalled Sans saying it was open 24/7 (although you couldn’t quite remember when). You reached Grillby’s and gently pushed the door open to see the place empty besides one flaming monster. Grillbz was sitting on a stool at the bar, and swivelled around to look at you when you entered. “... Hello,” Grillbz said quietly. You walked over and took a seat next to him. “Do you want something? I would give you water… but I don’t touch the stuff.”

“No, that’s okay. I couldn’t sleep.” You cracked your knuckles nervously. That habit tended to happen when you were anxious about something. Well, more anxious than usual.

Grillbz went quiet for a moment, and the pub was almost completely silent, besides some crackling of fire and your breathing. “I have another customer that comes here sometimes when they can’t sleep.”

You looked over at Grillbz. “Really?”

The flaming man nodded. “Sometimes they come in here after a nightmare.”

“Oh…” You didn’t really want to ask who it was. Nightmares were a pretty personal subject in your opinion.

“If you had a nightmare… I can listen.” Grillbz was looking at you (or at least… you thought so. It was difficult to tell since he didn’t have visible eyes… just glasses).

“Well. I didn’t have a nightmare… yet. But I-I’m kinda scared to go to sleep because I’ve been having really horrible nightmares recently. And last night… Well, I’m sure you heard the ruckus. It was the worst one I’ve ever had. I’m really sorry about that, by the way.”

“It’s fine. We all understand. Nightmares are fairly common around here, and us monsters don’t need as much sleep as humans.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Sans sleeps _all_ the time. Way more than Frisk and I do.”

Grillbz laughed quietly. “Sans is a rare occurrence. So is his brother. Sans gets tired quickly. And Papyrus _never_ gets tired.”

“No kidding. He tired _Frisk_ out.”

“Do they have a lot of energy?”

You sighed dramatically. “You have no idea.”

As the two of you chatted at the bar, you slowly got drowsier and drowsier until you decided you should head back to the skeleton household. Waving to Grillbz (or “Grillby,” as he told you to call him), you left the pub and left. As you approached the front door, you opened the door as quietly as you could.

“boo.” Barely stopping yourself from screaming bloody murder, you fell.

“Holy shit, you scared the _hell_ outta me!” you hissed. In the darkness, you could now see Sans sitting on the couch, who was smiling even wider than normal.

“well. i came downstairs and found _this_ \--” Sans waved the note you’d written earlier at you. “--so i decided to wait and _rattle your bones_ for when you came home.”

“How many puns do you have up your sleeve?” you whispered, sitting next to Sans on the couch.

Sans rolled his sleeves up. “many.”

You laughed quietly. “But yeah, I just went to Grillby’s.”

“how’d you know it was open?”

Your heart felt like it stopped. “Uh… you… told me?” The fact that Sans didn’t remember either terrified you for some reason. Anxiously, you darted your eyes to the skeleton, trying to read his emotions.

Sans looked back at you for a second, surprised, and said, “guess so, huh?”

“Yes,” you replied, relieved. Your heart began to beat again.

“but, uh, why did you leave?” You could see the white dots of Sans’s eyes gleaming in the darkness.

“Er… I couldn’t sleep.”

“oh. nightmare again?”

“Not yet, but I’m kinda scared. That was probably the worst one I’ve ever had, actually. It just felt so real…” You shuddered. The whole thing felt almost _too_ real. Like a memory. But everyone was alive, so how could it be a memory? It couldn’t be. There was _no way_.

“it sounded pretty awful.”

“Yeah…”

“i could. uh. stay for a while, if you think it would help.” Sans was staring at his slippers.

“Ah, you don’t have to.” The memory of your awkward breakfast was still lurking in your mind. “I’ll be fine.”

Sans seemed to be remembering the breakfast as well. “uh, i don’t think pap will  do that again. and i could stay up and talk to you. if you want.”

You smiled gently, and you could see a light blue glow on Sans’s cheekbones (did he just blush a lot?) “Nah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m stronger than I look.”

Sans’s smile grew a little wider. “oh yeah. well, if you change your mind, you can knock on my door. knock-knock jokes are optional, though.”

You snickered. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Sans hopped off the couch and walked up to his room. When he reached his door, he hesitated for a moment.

“‘night,” Sans said.

“Goodnight,” you replied. Sans shut the door behind him, and you let out a deep sigh. You were nodding off…

***SANS**

The door shut behind me with a small _click_ , and I rubbed my face harshly. “ughhhhhhhhh,” I groaned. Things were a hell of a lot easier before last timeline. “why is everything confusinggg,” I said as I shuffled over to my bed. Burying my face into my pillow, I sighed.

I was split into three pieces. One… wanted to kill her so the previous timeline had no chance of occurring again. That was by far the smallest piece. The second… wanted to hate her. And the third? The third… it wanted to love her and be there for her.

“this sucks,” I said to myself. “this sucks so much.” I drifted off, and the next thing I knew, I was holding a red scarf in my hands.

 _“pap…”_ And tears began to fall. There was a scrap of a blue sweater next to me. _“kid… i’m so sorry…”_ There was dust everywhere. I was drowning in it, drowning in heaps and heaps of dust…

When I woke up, I was crying.


	7. Possessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this all kinda happens really fast but it's kinda supposed to so I mean I guess it's okay? idk lol but HEY I ACTUALLY GOT A CHAPTER UP ON THE WEEKEND THIS TIME!!!

 

You woke up soon after you drifted off. The nightmares had come back, as you feared they would. True, this was a new nightmare, but it didn’t change how real and horrible it was.

The nightmare that kept you up had been filled with pain, the feeling of being skewered over and over by… bones? And in it, you were trying your hardest to tell whatever was attacking you that you hadn’t _wanted_ to kill everyone, but were _forced_ to, and that it wasn’t your fault, that you were so sorry, but the figure attacking you (it was cloaked in shadow) didn’t seem to give a damn.

So you watched blood pour out of you, chunks of flesh following every once in while. It was disgusting, really, but yet every time you died, you felt _free_.

When you woke up, you were sweating and having a small panic attack. Your chest was tight, and you couldn’t help but crying a little. You were gripping your heart tightly, as though it would shatter if you let go. You tried your best to keep quiet and take deep breaths to calm yourself down.

You picked yourself up to take Sans’s offer and go talk to him until your panic subsided, but halfway up the stairs, you stopped.

Did you _really_ want to wake up Sans? Sure, he said if you had a nightmare you could go to him, but… something was holding you back. You had a sinking feeling that the attacker in the dream was Sans. The only monster you knew who used bone attacks was Papyrus, and he wouldn’t hurt a fly, so was it far-fetched to believe his brother _also_ used bone attacks? He was a skeleton, too. It made perfect sense. But you couldn’t really see Sans hurting someone, either.

You made up your mind. You would _not_ go to Sans. Now. Maybe later. Maybe. Creeping back down the stairs, you sat back down on the couch, rubbing your face roughly.

A drink would be nice right now. A lot of them. Unfortunately, all the skelebros had was spaghetti, ketchup, and an empty bag of chips.

Those were not what you were aiming for.

Whatever. Frisk would know if you’d drank anyways. The smell was pretty easy to distinct from others, especially for the two of you, from being around it so much. Frisk didn’t need that. They had experienced enough pain for a _lifetime_. Instinctively, your hand flew to your stomach, tracing over a scar.

You pulled your sweater up a bit to look. Just above your bellybutton, a large, hideous scar stretched from one side to another. You’d almost died from that one. Suicide. Your parents had gotten you to a hospital fast enough, but there was still a big, ugly scar to remind you of what you did. There were some vertical ones on your wrists, too, but there weren’t as easy to see typically. Frisk didn’t remember that one, thankfully. They’d been far too little to remember something like that. You were sixteen when you did it, after all.

Depression was always a battle you’d struggled with, but that year was by far the worst one.

Your parents had started drinking again around that time, but they were okay for the most part. They didn’t beat you, at least.

No, no, no. You wouldn’t think of that right now. That memory didn’t matter. It was completely irrelevant. And you didn’t want or need to relive that moment ever again. Nervously yanking your sweater down, you rubbed your eyes again. Your cheeks were still damp from crying.

The nightmare still frightened you, and you wanted to go to Sans and tell him… but the fact that the dream appeared to be about him was unsettling. It was really strange. You felt like you had know Sans for _forever_ , yet you’d been in Snowdin two days.

Monsters were weird.

Or maybe you were weird. Whatever.

Taking a deep breath, you shut your eyes and rubbed them harshly. Jesus, why were all those dreams so _real_ ? _Too_ real. Like memories…

But you couldn’t fathom how they could be memories. Frisk, Toriel, Papyrus… all of them. They were all alive. Weren’t they? Weren’t they?

“Stop,” you muttered, opening your eyes. “Stop that. They’re all okay.” _Or are they_? “Yes,” you said clearly. Then you realized you were talking to yourself.

_“You’re crazy.”_

That..

That wasn’t the normal voice inside your head.

You gasped and fell off the couch. It was _that_ voice. The voice from your dreams.

 _“Did you_ actually _think I was gone that easily?”_ Panic raced through your veins. _“Hoping it was all a dream. Pathetic!”_

“WHO ARE YOU?!” Were you yelling? It didn’t matter. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” There were thuds and you heard doors slam open.

_“Look, they think you’re crazy! Heehee!”_

“GET OUT!” Someone was yelling at you and grabbing your arm, but you swatted them away. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

_“Hmm. You know, they remember. And you know, don’t you?”_

“GO AWAY!” you shrieked. Everything was blurry, fading to black like you were about to pass out. But you were wide awake. Was someone shaking you? Were they yelling? Did it matter?

 _“You_ killed _them. Isn’t this all familiar? I admit, it was amusing to watch you scream whenever I would trigger a memory in your sleep. You’d just holler and cry like a_ baby _! What are you, four?”_ The voice cackled.

“THEY CAN’T BE MEMORIES!” you roared at the voice. There was a weird tugging feeling at your chest and you could see a blurry red shape pop out. Your soul. But the color of your soul was dimmer than you’d ever seen it.

 _“Ooh, but they are. Ask Sans! Or Frisk! They remember! It’s so funny! I was going to show up earlier, but this is_ so _much funnier! I’m so glad I waited. Hehe! You should see the way those piles of_ garbage _are looking at you right now!”_

Suddenly, you felt like you were being dragged away. “NO!” There was only terror, only impending doom, when everything went black.

***SANS**

“SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE HUMAN?!” Papyrus shrieked. I was holding _____ in my hands as was trying my hardest to keep calm.

“relax, she’s only passed out.” But what happened before… that was not normal, even for a nightmare. Screaming and having that far off, glassy look to her eyes. Chara.

“What happened to her? Was that… thing… she was talking to… the--?”

“most likely,” I said a little flatly. “can you pull out her soul again, kid?”

“I-I guess I could try to… But I don’t know how I did it, really…” The kid suddenly paused, then nodded to themselves. “Yeah, I can do this. I’ll get her soul.”

The kid closed their eyes and took a deep breath and put their hands out and curled their fingers, as though gently tugging on strings. The fact that the kid was able to pull out a soul was a shocker, but I guess I could have expected that they could have pulled ______’s soul out. A red glow filled the darkness, and a red soul floated out of ______’s chest.

“I AM… VERY CONFUSED. SANS, HUMAN, WHAT IS GOING ON?” Papyrus interjected.

I jumped a little. Papyrus had been so quiet, I’d almost forgotten he was there. I looked away from the soul for a second and said, “don’t worry pap. i’m making sure she’s okay. kid, pap, can you two go upstairs and stay there for a bit? it’s for a good reason.”

“BROTHER, WE WANT TO HELP!”

“i _promise_ that it’s for a good reason.” I hated promises so much, but at least they could get across to Papyrus how important it was that he went upstairs.

Papyrus looked shocked for a second, then reluctantly said, “ALRIGHT… IF  YOU PROMISE…” He trudged up the stairs and entered his room, almost silently. It was eerie to see him so quiet.

“kid, go up with him.”

“I want to help!”

“kid, you remember that _thing_ . go upstairs, it is for your _safety_.”

“But--”

“G o  u p s t a i r s ,  k i d.” My eyes darkened and I stared at the kid as menacingly as I could. Frisk looked at me in fear and surprise for a moment, then frowned.

“Let me help! She’s _my_ sister!”

“and can you imagine how she would react if you got hurt?”

“I won’t get hurt!” Frisk persisted. Damn determination.

“you can come downstairs in a second. go up with pap for now.”

“But--!”

“don’t make me force you to go upstairs.” Frisk made a face at me, before stomping up the stairs and slamming Papyrus’s door. Good. I turned back to the soul, and inspected it. There was still a glowing red, but something like tar was engulfing part of the soul. “oh no,” I muttered. I was going to have to take it off. Slowly, I reached my hand out, before recoiling. I’d almost touched the thing with my _bare_ hands. That would’ve been _stupid_. Using my magic, I tried to pry the darkness off of ______’s soul.

_“Hello, comedian.”_

I flinched, but didn’t stop attempting to get the darkness off of the soul. “L i t t l e   _s h i t s_  l i k e   y o u   s h o u l d   b u r n   i n   h e l l ,” I said coldly.

 _“Wow. You know, it’s honestly_ adorable _how scared ______ is right now.”_ I clenched my right fist tightly and kept tearing at the tar on the soul with my left hand. _“I think I did you whole process pretty well. She’s clever; she’s already figured out that you’re a threat from just_ one _dream of you killing her!”_

“S h u t   u p .”

 _“I’ve been waiting for many timelines for her soul to_ finally _be weak enough for me to introduce myself. Though, perhaps I should have waited longer, seeing as how she ruined it.”_ I ignored the voice, anger rushing over me. I almost had it… the blackness was almost gone… _“Hehe. Has she_ ever _told her about her scars? I didn’t even know about them.”_  What scars? _____ didn’t have any scars as far as I knew. _“Oooh! I bet she didn’t. You look sooo angry right now. Almost as angry as you were last timeline!”_

“S H U T  U P !” I yelled, whipping around to face the voice. And I saw that I wasn’t in my house anymore. Everything was shrouded in darkness, besides a little girl in a striped sweater, smiling happily.

_“Hm. Even if you get rid of me, I’ll come back. You were the only thing that stopped me, after all. Who’s to say that I wouldn’t have gotten what I wanted if it hadn’t been for you?”_

With that, I ripped the tar off ______’s soul, making the demon make a giggling screeching noise. The blackness dissolved in the air as color quickly filled the room. I saw I was back in my house. ______ was still unconscious, but she looked a little better than she had before. Less scared. I sighed deeply. Chara would come back. “you guys can come down,” I called.

Papyrus and Frisk flew down the stairs. “What’d you do?” asked Frisk, holding their sister’s hand, staring at her soul. “It’s… brighter?”

“i got rid off the thing. temporarily.”

“WHAT THING?”

“remember that horror movie you watched where the girl gets possessed by a demon?”

Papyrus shuddered. “THAT WAS FRIGHTENING. B-BUT NOT FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS, OF COURSE!”

“well, it was sorta like that.”

“OH! IS THAT WHY THE HUMAN WAS HAVING NIGHTMARES?”

“at least partially,” I responded. “she needs rest. so do you two. i’ll stay down here, and you two can go back to sleep. tomorrow we can figure out what we’re gonna do.” There was no complaining from Frisk or Papyrus as they trudged upstairs, gently closing the door to Papyrus’s room. “god, i’m _dead_ tired,” I said absently to ______, before realizing she was still knocked out. There was a small lump growing on her head where I hit her to knock her out. I winced. “sorry, _____.”

***Y/N**

The first thing you knew was that your head was hurting a lot. The next thing you knew was a deep voice saying, “so you’re up.”

“What…”

Sans laughed a little, and you sat up groggily, looking at him on the other side of the couch. “so… i guess you’re confused.”

“What the fffffuck happened?” you groaned, holding your throbbing head with one hand. “All I remember is a voice… the one from my dreams… and they were saying something…” Looking up, you saw Sans, who’s grin seemed strained. You looked at him, feeling anxious and saw that his eyes were dark. There was no light like usual.

“they’re gone for now.” His voice was cold and seemed… angry?

What did the voice say? You tried to remember when it hit you and you felt sick. “Yeah, it said you remembered what I did.”

“i assumed that piece of shit would. heh. this is not the way i was hoping for this conversation to go. i was gonna wait ‘til you were more stable. guess that’s not an option now.”

“They weren’t dreams.”

“... nah.”

“Then _how_ \--”

“ever heard of timelines?”

That was not what you were expecting. “Uhhhh?” You tilted your head. “ _What_?”

Sans laughed a little, and the white dots came back to his eyes. “i’m sure the kid’s told you about these little star things they can find. but, even though you two could see ‘em, no one else could, right?”

“How did you--”

Sans cut you off again. “those are save points. only beings with high levels of determination can see them, and if someone were to say _die_ , you could go back to one of them and you’ll be back where you were when you saved. and those are where _resets_ come in. resets are when you start over from the very beginning; from the beginning of the day you fall into the underground. any beings with enough determination-- even if they can’t save-- will remember, although typically at different rates. and the kiddo has reset numerous times. i’ve lost count, honestly.”

Staring at Sans with your mouth agape, you said slowly, “So they reset once I started killing stuff?”

“oh shit. forgot to explain that bit. normally you and the kiddo have about the same amount of determination, but if one were to have much more determination than the other, the one with less determination will lose the ability to save.”

“So… did I reset after killing stuff?” You felt like you were about to puke, but you fought the urge.

“i… don’t think it was _you_ killin’ stuff. i’ve known you for a long time, and it’s not like you to do something like that. i think it was chara who killed, using your body as a vessel, keeping you trapped. but you reset once you got your body back? hell, i don’t know.”

“Urg….” You rubbed your forehead roughly, making it scream in response. “... Does Frisk remember?”

“they’re starting to, at least.”

“... How long have I known you?”

“two days.”

“No, you jerk, how long have I _known_ you?”

“ah. a long, long time. doesn’t a lot of this seem familiar? well, not the nightmares. but other things.”

“... Yeah.” Your lip trembled, and you started crying. “I’m so sorry,” you sobbed.

“whoawhoawhoa, it wasn’t you, alright? i don’t blame you for anything that happened, okay? none of that was your fault. _none_ of it.” You kept crying, and felt Sans hug you (a little hesitantly). “hey, hey, it’s okay. chara’s not coming back for a while, okay? and i’ll stop them from hurting you. or anyone else.”

“HUMANWHATSWRONGOHMYGODAREYOUPOSSESSEDBYASCARYGHOSTDEMONLIKEINTHATHORRIBLEMOVIEAGAINOHMYGODITHEGREATPAPYRUSWILLALSOCOMFORTYOUANDWILLGETTHESMALLERHUMANTOCOMFORTYOUANDPROTECTYOUANDITWILLBEOKAY!” You jerked in surprise and looked at Papyrus, who was fleeing out of the room into his and bolting back out towards you, holding Frisk in one arm and picking you and Sans up in a tight hug.

“SIS! I’M SO GLAD THAT YOU’RE OKAY!” Frisk yelled, wiggling to hug you. “Are you feeling better?!”

“...Thanks guys…” you said, awkwardly patting Frisk’s head, while trying to hug both the skelebros.

Everyone hugged you and then got you some food to eat for a while, keeping a close eye on you to make sure you were okay. And to be honest...

It felt nice to have people care about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this fanfic even though it kinda sucks haha it means a lot and I will try to be better about pacing in the future :/


	8. The Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm finally better from being sick, so I managed to finally finish writing up this chapter. If it's rushed, I am sorry, but I started the chapter and then wasn't able to be on the computer for a few days due to immense homework and being in the hospital for two days. Also, I wanted to give a special thanks to Jzzy, who was leaving me feedback on the story and was being really nice to me. I really appreciate it! With that said, sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

You knew that Sans was keeping a close eye on you. Ever since that incident with Chara, he’d been more cautious of what you were doing. It was certainly annoying, but you knew he was only doing it to make sure that Chara didn’t return.

Whatever. It wasn’t that big of a deal. What _was_ a big deal was that Frisk was playing dumb with you still. Sans had told you that Frisk was starting to remember, and they were acting like they didn’t know _shit_. And you were sure that they knew that you knew about timelines. So how dare they pretend like they weren’t terrified of you? That they wanted to run from you? What in the fuck was wrong with them?

True, for the most part, everything had been better since Sans had gotten rid of Chara about two weeks ago. And true, you, Sans, Papyrus, and Frisk were closer than ever. BUT STILL! How could Frisk not tell you about their nightmares? You hadn’t had any for a bit, so they couldn’t “OH I DON’T WANT TO GET YOU ALL _FLUSTERED”_ out of this situation.

You walked around outside, feeling sour. Whenever you thought about Frisk hiding shit from you, it pissed you off. How much were they hiding from you? Did they know exactly what was going on the entire time you had been suffering?

That little… You were so angry. At least you got to talk to Grillby about it. He was always so nice and understanding and would listen and offer advice. Maybe you could go over there right now. Letting off steam sounded good to you. You didn’t want to take everything out on Frisk. But you were near the point of asking them why the _fuck_ they didn’t say anything to you. Feeling angrier than ever, you stomped into Grillby’s. Dogamy and Dogeressa looked at you alarmed, and even Greater Dog seemed to notice something was up with you.

You ignored them and sat at the bar. “Is something wrong?” Grillby asked gently.

“Just the usual. I cannot believe Frisk is keeping so much _from_ me! It’s making me angrier and angrier every time I think about it! Ugh.”

“Have you tried talking to them about it yet?”

“ _No_ , but like I said last week, that’s only because I’m waiting for them to talk about it to me!”

“Perhaps you should talk to them about it, rather than let your anger take over.”

“But--!”

“It’s merely a suggestion. But you should talk about it with them.”

You frowned. “Yeah, I know.” Grillby pushed his glasses up a bit. “I don’t want to though! _And_ it’s just _hard_ in general. How do I bring it up?”

“Gently. Calmly. You don’t want to frighten them, you know.”

“Yeah. I mean, _no. I mean_ I don’t want to scare them! But I’m so _pissed…_ ”

“Better sooner than later, but for now perhaps you should calm down. Do you want anything?”

“I’m fine, thanks. I think I’ll just relax for a bit.” Grillby nodded, and attended to his other customers.

“sup.” You flinched violently from the sudden voice.

“SANS! STOP SCARING ME!” you yelled, laughing a little. Sans smiled wider and sat next to you. “You’re so mean,” you pouted, playfully punching him in the shoulder.

“i’m bad to the bone,” Sans agreed.

You snorted. “Nooo, stop,” you laughed. “I’m not in the mood.” You looked down at your hands and clenched and unclenched your fists.

Sans looked at you, his smile wavering. “what’s wrong?”

“Stuff.”

Sans rolled his eyes. “wow, so specific.” You nodded, looking away from the skeleton. “what’s actually wrong? you look pretty peeved.”

You looked away from Sans. On one hand, you wanted to tell Sans about your problem. On the other, you didn’t want Sans to think you were a bitch. Well, whatever, Grillby would probably say something about it to Sans anyways. “I’m mad at Frisk. They remember and they haven’t said anything about it!”

Sans blinked at you. “maybe they don’t want you to think that they hate you.”

Frowning, you retorted, “That’s stupid! I would _never_ hate Frisk! But I _am_ pissed!” You were raising your voice.

“hey, hey calm down! it was just a suggestion. but if you’re seriously so mad about it, why don’t you talk to them about it?”

“I don’t want to. I want them to confront me about it. But Grillby keeps saying that I should talk to them, and I know I should, but I’m just so upset about the whole thing.” You clenched your fists. “It hurts that they don’t trust me. After everything we’ve been through together, you’d think that it’d be different.”

“i don’t think they don’t trust you. i think they’re scared. those are two very different things, ya know.”

You sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just been bothering me.”

“oh!” Sans sat up straighter. “undyne’s coming by tomorrow, so you and the kid are gonna have to hang out in the shed for a bit until she leaves.”

“Awww, again?”

“she’s looking for you guys. and she doesn’t know papyrus ran into you yet, which is how it should probably stay. undyne doesn’t screw around. _especially_ not with humans.”

“Ugghhhhhhhhh,” you groaned. “Well, I guess I could talk to Frisk about remembering while we’re there.”

“there ya go,” said Sans.

“Yeah… I’m gonna go out and walk around for a bit. Clear my head. Or something. Maybe I’ll look for Frisk or something. I don’t know… ugh. Later, Sans.”

“bye,” Sans said, waving lazily at you as you hopped off your seat. You stepped out into the cold, snowy town and sighed.

“Goddammit,” you muttered, running your fingers through your hair. Where _was_ Frisk anyways? You hadn’t seen them since you had breakfast (Sans graciously saved you and your younger sibling from more pasta by giving you cereal). Ever since you recovered from Chara trying to possess you, Frisk had been distancing themself from you.

So _what_ if you hadn’t said anything to Frisk necessarily? _You_ were the one recovering from being _possessed!_ Not Frisk! Goddammit!

So what if you didn’t want to talk to Frisk about it? Could they blame you? You don’t just go up to a kid and say “GEE, LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT TIME I MURDERED YOU! SINCE YOU WON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT! HAHA!” You growled and stomped in the snow towards the skelebros’ house. When you opened the door, you saw that Frisk was reading a book about souls on the couch.

You took a deep breath and sighed. “Hey,” you said as calmly as possible.

Frisk peeked up from the book, nodded at you, and looked right back to the book.

You frowned. “Yeah, okay. I’m done with this.”

“Done with what?” Frisk muttered, not leaving the book.

“Why are you avoiding me? What did I _do?_ Is it about your nightmares about me?”

Frisk threw the book across the room and looked at you, horrified and furious. “DID SANS TELL YOU?!” They shrieked, jumping up and pointing at you accusingly.

“DON’T BLAME THIS ON SANS!” you shouted back. “THAT THING TOLD ME YOU REMEMBERED!”

“OKAY, SO I REMEMBER! SO WHAT? I REMEMBER MORE THAN JUST THAT ONE, YOU KNOW! I REMEMBER ALL OF THEM NOW!”  
“SO YOU GET TO IGNORE ME AND TREAT ME LIKE I DON’T EXIST? I DON’T _THINK_ SO!”

“THAT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GONNA STAY ALIVE!”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?!” you screamed at Frisk. “DRIVING ME DOWN TO FEEL LIKE SHIT 24/7? THAT’S GONNA KEEP ME ALIVE?!”

“YOU ALWAYS DIE!” Frisk yelled, and you saw tears well up in their eyes. You hesitated, still feeling furious, but guilty as well for blowing up on Frisk. “EVERY TIME! AND IF I AVOID YOU, MAYBE YOU’LL BE OKAY!”

Frisk began to sob, falling back on the couch, shaking and hiccuping. Sitting next to them, you took a few deep breaths and picked them up in your lap and hugged them. “Hey,” you said quietly. “I-I’m sorry. For blowing up on you. But you can’t just avoid me, okay? It makes things a lot worse. And it scares me, because it reminds me of Mom and Dad. Do you understand why I’m so hurt right now?” Frisk nodded into your sweater, hugging you tightly. Your shirt was really wet and uncomfortable from all the tears at this point, but you pretended not to notice. “Frisk, listen. I want you to talk about your nightmares with me, please.”

“I don’t wanna!” Frisk sniffed.

“Frisk…”

“Please! I don’t want you to feel bad about it! I--”

“Okay, okay, fine. I’m not gonna feel bad about it. I just… why aren’t you scared of me?”

Frisk didn’t talk for a long time. Worried that you had finally caught them fearful of you, you repeated the question, and Frisk said softly, “Because I know you would never hurt me. You didn’t need to stop me from getting hurt, or help me, or protect me, but you _do._ I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“Frisk... Sweetie... I understand that you don't want me to be hurt. Yeah, I do. But you can't leave me in the dark completely. You know? I... _We_ ... have lost a _lot_ of things that normal people have. Parents, trust, the ability to not get anxious all the time. But we still have each other, and our friends down here. Look at Sans and Papyrus! A month ago we hadn't even met them. Now look at all the nice things they've done for us! Right?”

“Right...” Frisk sniffled. “Yeah... I guess I know what you're talking about...”

“Frisk, I didn't mean to blow up like that. I've been holding it in for a while and I just kinda lost it. But no matter what, I will always love you. You're my little dork.”

“I'm not a dork!” Frisk pulled away and glared at you indignantly. “I am _not!_ ”

“Are so,” you grinned, poking them.

“Are _not!_ ” Frisk insisted, shoving you.

“Are so!”

“Are not!”

“Are so!”

“are so,” Sans said from right behind you. You and Frisk screamed and fell off of the couch. Irritated, you looked up from you position and saw Sans grinning, crouching next to you. “wow, you look pissed,” he said, smirking.

“HOW LONG WERE YOU STANDING THERE?” you yelled.

“i heard the kiddo say 'are not' and decided to join in.”

“Rude,” you huffed, getting up and pulling Frisk up.

“uh, so i'm guessing you two made up?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered. Frisk nodded. “Dork.”

“I'M NOT A DORK!” Frisk boomed, shoving you. Thankfully, they weren't very strong, so you didn't fall. Not-so-thankfully, Sans was a jerk and helped push you with Frisk. You made a little squeaking noise and fell on your butt.

Sans and Frisk started laughing, and you glared at them from the floor. Then you grabbed Sans's and Frisk's legs and pulled them out from under them, making them both collapse. Frisk shrieked and Sans barely stopped himself from falling by using the couch to save him. Frisk landed on their butt like you did, and you cackled at them. “Sweet revenge,” you sneered.

“But you didn't get Sans!” Frisk shouted.

“eh, that's okay. sans is happy not being attacked,” Sans informed Frisk, sitting on the couch.

“Pfft, are you scared?” you asked Sans.

“nah.”

“You're totally scared of _____,” Frisk yelled, waving a finger at Sans accusingly. “You think she's gonna break up with you or something.”

“FRISK!” you yelled. “WE ARE NOT DATING!” You turned to Sans, whose face was completely blue.

“not dating,” Sans agreed, apparently ignoring his blush.

Frisk wiggled their eyebrows at the two of you. “Are you _suuure?_ ” they teased.

“Yes,” you said firmly. “I think that we would know.” You crossed your legs and your arms, sticking your nose up in... defiance... or something.

“You'd be a really cute couple though!” Frisk complained.

“I've heard,” you said sharply. “Papyrus has told me numerous times now. And I'm sure he's told Sans a lot too.”

Sans shrugged. “eh. the kid's been telling me more than pap has.” He closed his eye sockets and sighed.

“WELL!” you said. “PAPYRUS HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT FREQUENTLY! AND! HAS! NOT! STOPPED!”

“That's unfortunate,” replied Frisk sarcastically.

You and Frisk argued until you heard small snores from the couch, where there was a sleeping Sans. Then you two argued through sign language, all the way up until Papyrus burst through the door. “HELLO HUMANS AND BROTHER!” he screamed. Sans groaned and squinted at Papyrus. “I HAVE RETURNED FROM UNDYNE'S HOME! AND! I HAVE NEWS! IN TEN MINUTES, UNDYNE IS COMING OVER! SHE SAID SHE SAW YOU HUMANS ON TELEVISION! WITH ALPHYS! AND SO! I WAS THINKING! THAT YOU TWO! SHOULD MOST LIKELY HIDE! BUT NOT WHERE YOU'VE HIDDEN PREVIOUSLY! AS UNDYNE SAID SHE'D GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT THERE ARE NO HUMANS IN THERE! SO! UNDERNEATH THE SINK IS CLEARLY THE NEXT-BEST OPTION!”

You and Frisk gaped at Papyrus. Sans shot up from his relaxed position and looked incredibly tense. “maybe the humans shouldn't hide in our house. undyne is more than likely to ransack all of snowdin if she suspects the humans are here.” Sans looked at you and Frisk worriedly, and stood up. “i'll help 'em get over to waterfall to hangout for a bit. and when undyne leaves they can come back.”

“AH! THAT IS ANOTHER ISSUE! BECAUSE! UNDYNE SAYS SHE IS GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT!” Papyrus looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I SUSPECT SHE KNOWS THAT THE HUMANS ARE LIVING WITH US! BUT... IT IS DANGEROUS OUT THERE AND I DO NOT WANT THEM TO GET HURT!”

Sans ran a skeletal hand through his nonexistent hair. He laughed nervously. “well... maybe if they can get alphys in time, they'll be okay. she's fascinated by humans. in a non-murder kind of way.”

“I- I SUPPOSE. HUMANS, I FEAR THAT THIS IS GOODBYE FOR NOW.” You were shocked, just staring at Papyrus. You were being stripped of your home by a monster who wanted to kill you. You were losing two people who were incredibly special to you. They were getting hurt by you and Frisk staying. You couldn't let someone get hurt because you wanted something ever again. It was why you stopped cutting (on your wrists, at least...) and why you hadn't tried to kill yourself since the hospital. For Frisk. So they wouldn't be hurt by you. So they would be safe. Safe... and not broken. And not constantly scared that you were going to die. You wanted to do it sometimes. Especially when you were still with your human parents. Suicide was a way out, a way that no matter what, they wouldn't bring you back in. But Frisk... you couldn't leave Frisk alone in that hellhole.

“I'm so sorry, guys. Frisk and I are gonna leave. We can't put you in danger, and I don't want to think about what Undyne would do if she found out that you were harboring humans in your home. Thanks for all that you've done for us,” you said shakily, trying to convince yourself not to cry. Frisk didn't care. Frisk started crying and hugged Papyrus tightly, and you saw that Papyrus was crying as well. “Papyrus, it's gonna be okay, shh, shh... We'll call you, don't worry! You can't get rid of us humans that easily!” Papyrus was hugging you so hard that you were having a difficult time breathing, but he released you and little Frisk.

“HUMANS... I WILL MISS YOU BOTH DEARLY. M-MAYBE I WILL, ONE DAY, BE ABLE TO HELP UNDYNE SEE THAT NOT ALL HUMANS ARE BAD! YOU ARE VERY WONDERFUL HUMANS TO BE AROUND.”

Frisk sniffed and then hugged Sans, who still looked shocked and a little afraid. “Bye, Sans,” they cried. Sans patted them on the back.

“seeya around, kiddo,” he said in his typical, lazy voice. But he looked so upset. You hurt to see Sans like this. It made you want to cry. Sans had been there for you this whole time, ever since you left the Ruins. Through your nightmares, through Chara, through your anger, and he put up with _all_ of it. And yet, you'd technically only known him for two weeks. You didn't want to say goodbye to Papyrus, but you sure as hell didn't want to say goodbye to _Sans_ . No, you thought, feeling tears sting at your eyes. No. You hadn't cried yet, and you weren't going to cry. You were strong. You were stronger than tears now. You were _determined_ not to cry.

Frisk released Sans and quickly grabbed your satchel with food, clothes (thanks to Monster Kid's parents and the shopkeeper next to the inn), and other random stuff in it and put it over their shoulder, looking very upset. You turned to Sans, who was now looking on the ground. Gently, you hugged him, and felt him tightly hug you back. Do not cry, you reminded yourself. Sans's fingers were digging into your back, and he had his face buried in your shoulder. You couldn't see his face, but you began to feel incredibly guilty. You didn't want to leave Sans. You wanted to stay with Sans and Grillby and Papyrus and even Monster Kid, who you barely knew. You wanted to stay with them all and protect them and help them and be with them. But there was no time for that kind of selfishness now. Sans and Pap would be hurt if you stayed. Something warm ran down your cheek. Fuck, you thought. You were crying. Goddammit. “Later, Sans,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Sans hugged you tighter. “hasta la vista, ______,” he said, slightly muffled by your sweater. You laughed a little, and pulled away from Sans. You and Frisk had to go.

Papyrus coughed, and you turned to look at him. “NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO MY BROTHER,” Papyrus said innocently. Oh no. There was no escape. “AFTER ALL, I PROMISED YOU AND THE SMALL HUMAN THAT I WOULD HELP YOU FIND SECOND-BEST. MY BROTHER IS BY FAR SECOND-BEST.” You just smiled softly at Papyrus, and hugged Sans again.

“I'll see you later,” you said. With that, you and Frisk opened the door and left the house, leaving Papyrus and Sans behind.

***SANS**

I stared as _____ and Frisk left the house, the kid crying and _____ wiping away a single tear on her cheek. I'd seen this before, countless times. So why... why did it hurt this much still? Why could I still not do anything? What if Chara came back now? What if they ran into Undyne? What if she died again? What if I just saw her for the last time? Why couldn't I move? Why was this _so_ damn painful?

“BROTHER?” Papyrus said, unsurely.

“yeah,” I replied. I took a step towards the door, wanting to follow. Would _____ be mad if I followed? Would she yell at me for 'putting myself in danger?'

“I-I HAVE A QUESTION.”

“shoot.” I wanted to cry. Stupid Undyne. Stupid Alphys, for setting up her cameras everywhere. Stupid me, for thinking that maybe they could stay. Stupid Asgore for wanting to break the _stupid_ barrier with human souls.

Papyrus's voice brought me out of my trance. “DO YOU... LIKE... THE OLDER HUMAN?”

“of course i do, she's my friend, why?”

“NO! I MEAN, DO YOU _LIKE_ THE OLDER HUMAN? YOU ALWAYS SEEM HAPPIER AROUND HER. AND YOU SMILE MORE. ER, THAN USUAL. AND THEY ARE REAL SMILES, TOO! NOT THE FAKE SMILES THAT YOU SOMETIMES GIVE ME!”

I tore my gaze from the door to look at my bro. He was staring at me, nervously. “i-i dunno, bro. she's pretty great, but i don't know if i wanna date her...” This was a total lie. So what if I liked her? And maybe still wanted to date her? Chara would definitely use that to her advantage, and against _____. And ______ might die, anyways. She always did. Always. No matter what I did. And then the kid would reset after she died and she wouldn't remember anything for the longest time.

“BROTHER... I AM WORRIED FOR THE HUMANS' SAFETY! UNDYNE'S OPINION OF THEM IS VERY... _MURDERY_. MAYBE WE SHOULD HELP THEM OUT A BIT. I CAN DISTRACT UNDYNE AND YOU CAN LEAD THEM AWAY FROM THE DANGER OF UNDYNE.”

I looked at Papyrus. I wouldn't be able to teleport the two of them to Alphys's lab; that was too dangerous. If I lost one of them, they would be lost forever. Even after a reset. I couldn't afford that kind of risk. And taking them one at a time was risky, too. Undyne, no doubt, had monsters everywhere in Waterfall searching for the humans. Plus, there was only so much teleporting you could do with more than just yourself. It was kinda tiring. I smiled in spite of myself, but then quickly remembered that the two were in danger. “pap, you tell undyne that you saw some humans over here, in snowdin. i'll go find the humans and try to point them in the right direction. we have to go fast, though. undyne is probably on her way now, looking for them.” Papyrus nodded, and ran out of the house. I opened a door in the air to my station in Waterfall and walked through.

As the cave came into view, I saw Monster Kid running away from my station yelling, “Yo! Wait for me, guys! Undyne's totally over there!” He disappeared from my sight and I ran after him. Humans were insanely fast when they ran, apparently. Well, at least if that was who Monster Kid was running after. I followed the kid until I saw them disappear into some tall grass, where they suddenly went completely still. I leaned against the cave wall, trying to catch my breath. My legs were short and I didn't move more than I had to, so running was nothing less than a chore.

“UNDYNE! I HAVE COME TO YOU WITH SOME NEWS!” Papyrus said loudly. Well, it made sense that he was so fast. He had very long legs, after all. I saw an armored figure, who I immediately recognized as Undyne, ready to fight. At least now I knew that Undyne had been coming to obliterate ______ and Frisk. I tried to make my breathing get quieter so she wouldn't notice me. Sure, Undyne and I were friends, but I couldn't let her kill ______ and a kid. On top of that, I didn't know what would happen to ______ if Undyne tried to kill her. What if Chara came out again and regained control? “WHAT IS THE NEWS YOU ASK? WELL, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SPOTTED TWO HUMANS! RIGHT IN SNOWDIN! I WAS HOPING WE COULD—AHEM--CAPTURE THEM TOGETHER!!!” Undyne nodded and Papyrus yelled, “GREAT! LET'S GO!!” Undyne started to follow him when the grass suddenly moved. Undyne immediately had her spear in hand, and took several menacing steps to the grass, where I could see Monster Kid staring at her in admiration. She seemed to notice it was only him, and then turned swiftly and followed my bro.

After waiting about one minute, the grass moved again and a head popped out. I saw (h/c) hair peek just above the plants. _____'s okay, I thought, relieved. She must have been crouching in the plants so Undyne wouldn't see her. She walked out of the grass and seemed to be holding someone's hand. Monster Kid bolted after them. “WOAH! Dude! Did you see how Undyne was looking at you?!” I walked after them through the tall grass. “SHE WAS JUST STARING AT YOU! AND... AND... ME TOO? YO, THIS IS SO COOL!”

“Who are you?!” I heard _____ ask, who must have noticed the grass moving again. “Get out where I can see you!” I cautiously walked out of the plants, not really into the idea of being socked in the face by _____. I saw ______ holding both MK and Frisk behind her, staring straight at me, looking tense and clearly trying to make herself look much more terrifying than she actually was. Her eyes lightened as soon as she saw me, and she hugged me tightly. “SANS!” she yelled. I awkwardly patted her on the back, since she was restraining my arms just the _slightest_ bit (which means, of course, my arms were pinned to my sides). She quickly pulled away from me and looked stern. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?” she asked. “YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT!”

“pfft, me? nah. i'm here to help you get to hotland, where you'll be safe from undyne for two reasons. one, hotland is where alphys lives. two, undyne HATES hotland,” I said, waving her off a bit.

“Did you also come back cuz she's your girlfriend?!” Frisk piped up from behind ____, grinning. I made an agonized expression towards the kid and felt my face heat up. I had a growing suspicion that Frisk was remembering more than just the previous timeline now, based off how they were falling back into their 'knowing what was going to happen next' act. ______ turned around and gave Frisk an extremely unhappy look. Frisk and MK giggled.

“we aren't dating,” I said as casually as I could. “you humans are my buddies, though. gotta help out my pals through these trying times, ya know?”

“But, yo! Sans! What if you guys did date? That would be like, super cool, right? Right?!”

I rolled my eyes. If the kid introduced this apparent ship to Alphys, I was going to cry. _No_ , if they told _Mettaton,_ I would cry. That pile of metal was always being obnoxious. “the coolest,” I said, giving in. Frisk and MK grinned at each other, and headbutted one another (their way of high-fiving, I guessed).

I looked at _____, and she was a little red in the face. When she noticed I was looking at her, she smirked and whispered, “The _coolest,_ huh?”

“aw, c'mon. you and i both know they weren't gonna stop.”

She laughed a little and pushed me lightly, saying, “Let's keep going. There's no way Undyne's gonna stay in Snowdin for long...”

As I led them to Snowdin, I couldn't help but feel a little relaxed. Undyne would never hurt a monster, and I wouldn't let ______ or Frisk get hurt on my watch.

***Y/N**

As Sans led the way, you felt a little anxious. First off, there was a certain Head of the Royal Guard who was trying to murder you. Secondly, everyone you met was shipping you with Sans. EVERYONE. You didn't ask for this. You didn't want this. You didn't need this. You got nervous when people did that. Because, Sans was only a friend. CLEARLY. ONLY. A FRIEND. You totally only thought of Sans as a friend. For sure. 100%. ONLY. FRIEND ONLY. Sans and I are JUST friends, you thought to yourself, feeling slightly uncomfortable. “What's on your mind, sis?” Frisk asked, tugging your sleeve.

You smiled and ruffled their hair. “Nothing. Don't worry, sweetie.” Frisk smiled a little unsurely at you, but seemed to accept the answer.

“Okay,” they replied, grabbing your hand.

“Yo, guys! D-do you think we'll see Undyne again? Like, soon? She said she was going to Snowdin, right? Should we go to Snowdin? Are we going the wrong way?”

“relax, kid, i know where i'm going,” said Sans. Suddenly, his phone started ringing, and Sans picked it up. “yo,” he said. He was silent for a bit, but his smile faltered. “what do you mean that i gotta go back to snowdin?” You could vaguely hear shouting on the other end. “can't you just tell her--” More shouting. “but pap--”

“ _ABSOLUTELY NOT, SANS!!_ ” you heard Papyrus shriek on the other end.

“What's going on?” you asked, feeling very lost.

Sans made a face. “pap is saying undyne's looking for me and is gonna beat me up if she can't find me in snowdin.”

You and Frisk gasped, but MK looked overly excited. “Cool!” he yelled, tripping again. You lifted him up and patted his head, looking back at Sans worriedly.

“Sans, I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. Please, go back to Papyrus. We can find Hotland ourselves, I'm sure.” Frisk nodded in agreement, looking at Sans, upset. Sans was looking at the two of you, incredibly pained.

“but what if undyne--”

“Sans, we'll be able to handle Undyne, I'm sure,” said your sibling. When you looked at them, they gave a little wink to Sans. You made a face. What was going on? What the heck was the _wink_ for?

Sans knotted his non-existent eyebrows together. His fingers were twitching at his sides, before he finally sighed. “alright...” You hugged Sans, but not as tightly as before.

“Hasta la vista, Sans,” you said, smiling a little.

He laughed. “'hasta la vista,” he repeated.

“Hey! Sans!”

“yeah, kid?” asked Sans, pulling away from the hug.

“Can I come to Snowdin with you? To meet U-Undyne?!”

Sans chuckled. “sure thing, bud.” He turned back to you and Frisk and waved, you both waving back.

As the monsters disappeared into the grass, you thought, How tough could Undyne be?

“Who even knows if Undyne's all that tough, anyways?” you said out loud to Frisk. They shrugged. “Yeah, maybe she's just all talk, ya know?” you went on.

There was a pause as you continued walking with Frisk, who suddenly said, "Water sounds so pretty."

You looked at your little sibling. "What makes you say that now?"

Frisk rubbed the back of their head. "I just didn't want the others to know that I was deaf... It's not because I'm ashamed or anything, but they just would make a big deal out of it, I guess."

"Oh..."

"It sounds _so_ pretty," said Frisk absently. "Like a twinkling noise, kind of how I imagined snow, but it sounds more... like an echo, I guess. But at the same time it makes these little plip noises and can sound like a bunch of people talking like mermaids."

"Mermaids?"

"Yeah, when the water's running, it sounds like mermaids gurgling at each other. But kind of like a singing gurgling."

Frisk continued to talk about their love of the noises in Waterfall, and you smiled listening to them describe the sounds. Somme descriptions were funny ("The actual waterfalls sound like someone's taken all the pots and pans and flung them as a weapon"), and some were sweet ("The echoes sound like someone's protecting you from another world, and won't let you get hurt").

As Frisk talked happily, you grabbed their hand and put your other hand in your pocket of your jeans, walking side by side, pleasantly discussing sounds.

“WELL, WELL, WELL,” someone shouted behind you. “WHO DO WE HAVE HERE? ;)” You froze. Was it Undyne? No, this voice was most definitely male, you decided. And... creepy. You and Frisk turned around to see a very muscular horse with a fish bottom. A seahorse, you thought to yourself, smiling internally. “How cute ;)” said the horse-fish as he advanced towards you. Grabbing Frisk's hand, you took a few steps backwards. “Why don't you spend some time with me, cutie? ;)”

“How about I don't?” you retorted, walking away with Frisk quickly as the monster continued to flex.

“Awh, where's the fun in that? ;)”

You and Frisk hit a wall. Shit. You were getting anxious. This monster was definitely bad news, and he was getting closer. “Get away, you creep!” you shouted at him.

“I'm Aaron, not 'Creep,' babe, ;)” responded Aaron. He was only about two feet away now, flexing himself closer and closer to you.

“Get away from Sis!” Frisk yelled at Aaron, who merely replied with a wink. Aaron flexed again, and Frisk seemingly had an idea. “Flexing contest?” they offered, rolling up their sleeve. You stared at Frisk like they were completely insane.

Aaron, however, stopped advancing and eagerly nodded. Frisk flexed their arm and Aaron smiled smugly. “Nice! I won't lose tho ;)” Aaron flexed, and sent out a magic attack of what looked like sweat.

“NASTY!” you yelled as some almost hit you. “GROSSGROSSGROSSSSSSS--”

Frisk yelled “MY TURN” and flexed even harder. Aaron flexed so hard that he left the room, while you stood there, confused at what was happening. Then Frisk turned to you, smiling widely. "I got rid of him for you," they said sincerely.

"Thanks, Frisk," you said, a little sarcastically, ruffling their hair. "Let's keep going."

You and Frisk continued on, until you hit an area that had the right side bathed in shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always welcome!


	9. In Waterfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took a while! I had writer's block and testing and so I ended up not working on this chapter as much as I should have. At this point, I have come to realize that I am not good at staying on schedule.  
> Sorry, guys who are reading this (and enjoying it? idk), I'll try to be better about this. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

As you and Frisk dodged the light blue spears, you regretted ever thinking Undyne was weak. And not only was she incredibly strong, she was also very persistent and seemed to hate you and Frisk a lot. You could only guess that Papyrus was keeping Sans at Snowdin from the one time he had called you telling you that Sans was worried sick and that he, the great Papyrus, was going to keep him at home to make sure Sans didn't get hurt, which you were grateful for. You had gone through a lot of bullshit, but this was taking the cake. Suddenly, it came to your knowledge that the path you were going on led to a dead end. Frisk, who was looking behind themselves, almost ran straight off, but you caught them by the sweater and yanked them back up to the ground. You held their arm tightly, pushing them behind you to protect them, and looked down where you just came from. There was no sign of the armor-clad woman or magical spears. Cautiously, you walked back from where you came, and stopped dead in your tracks as the loud clanking footsteps grew louder and closer. Undyne stopped right in front of you and Frisk, and all you could do was stare at her, even as she summoned spears to cut off the part of the path you were standing on.

You and Frisk plummeted, and you hit your head on something hard before blacking out.

 

“ _I think it came from over here...” Soft, padded footsteps came closer... “Oh! You've fallen down... Are you hurt?” A quick shake of the head saying 'no.'_

“ _I-I'm Chara...” said a young child's voice, quietly._

“ _Chara, huh? That's a nice name. My name is...”_

_And then a loud ringing came, muting the other voice..._

 

It was dark, and your head ached. Something was tickling your cheek and it was irritating you, but you didn't want to get up. Not yet, at least. You wanted to lie down and mope in peace. That is, you did until you remembered what happened with Undyne. You shot up, making your head throb in pain. Clapping a hand to your forehead, you looked around you for Frisk, who was nowhere to be found. You were once again lying in a bed of buttercups, reminding you of when you first met Toriel.

“FRISK!” you called out, getting to your feet. “WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE PUNK?” Standing up, you could see that there was water and scraps of broken wood around you. You took a step forwards before collapsing. “Shit,” you groaned, grabbing your left leg. A stinging sensation filled you when you squeezed it, and you yelled, letting go of the leg. There was blood staining the fabric, just below your knee, and a large tear. You grimaced as you rolled the pant leg up, and saw the long cut on your shin. “Great,” you muttered. “Just fantastic.” You took the bottom of your trusty sweater and ripped off a long piece of fabric, carefully tying it around the injury. This wasn't as bad as some other cuts you had to wrap up, you reminded yourself, coldly thinking about your parents. Standing up again, you took a shaky step forwards, trying your hardest to not put any weight on the hurt leg. “FRISK!” you called again.

Limping, you continued forwards, calling for your little sibling. On top of your leg and your head, now your throat was starting to hurt, too, from all the yelling. You were starting to get scared. What if Undyne came along and got Frisk? What happened? Were they okay? What if... An idea came to you. Maybe Frisk had called Papyrus, you thought hopefully, pulling out the old cell phone Toriel gave you from your pocket. Hastily, you dialed Papyrus's number in, pleading for him to pick up.

“HUMAN! HELLO, IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! HOW CAN I HELP YOU? HAS UNDYNE STOPPED TRYING TO KILL YOU YET?”

“Not exactly,” you said raspily. “Has Frisk called?”

“FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK, HUMAN! FRISK CALLED FIVE MINUTES AGO, ASKING ME IF _YOU_ HAD CALLED ME! THEY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT AN ANGRY TRAINING DUMMY! AND A GHOST COMING TO SAVE THEM! NAPSTABLOOK, I THINK.”

You felt your heart lift. “Did they say where they were?”

“YES... THEY SAID THEY WERE AT THE GARBAGE DUMP, AND THAT THEY WERE GOING TO HEAD OVER TO NAPSTABLOOK'S HOUSE SO THEY COULD GET SOME MEDICAL SUPPLIES... OR SOMETHING.”

“Thanks, Pap,” you said, taking a few running steps forwards. “OW!” you yelped, forgetting about your leg, almost falling again. Thankfully, you were able to stop yourself from falling, thanks to a pile of garbage next to you.

“HUMAN! ARE YOU HURT? WHAT'S WRONG?” There were some very furious shouts on the other end, but you couldn't tell who it was.

“I hurt my leg, but it's fine. Don't worry about it,” you said a little too quickly. The last thing you needed was Papyrus to tell Sans that you were hurt and for Sans to come looking for you and get beat up by Undyne. Speaking of, where _was_ Sans?

“Hey buddy, where's Sans?” you asked, grimacing and glaring daggers at your leg.

“AH! MY LAZYBONES BROTHER IS CURRENTLY BEING RESTRAINED BY ME, SEEING AS HE IS RATHER SURPRISINGLY BEING VERY STUBBORN ABOUT HELPING YOU!” There were some shouts on the other end that you now recognized as Sans’s voice. “HE IS, ER, BEING VERY UPSET. I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG I CAN RESTRAIN HIM. HE CAN'T EVEN TELEPORT AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS SO UPSET. IT IS VERY NEW TO ME.” More angry shouts.

“Can you put him on real quick?” you asked, limping forwards again, but much more carefully.

“YES, OF COURSE! BROTHER!” There was another upset yell from Sans on the other end, and you smiled a little to yourself. He was so sweet... Your face turned red. Sweet as a friend, of course. Only as a friend… “BROTHER! THE OLDER HUMAN HAS REQUESTED TO SPEAK WITH YOU! PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF!” There was a lot of loud thumps as Papyrus handed the phone off to Sans.

“are you okay? what's going on?!” Sans practically shrieked into the other end. You cringed and pulled the phone away from your ear.

“I'm fine, Sans, don't worry about me.”

“i heard papyrus ask if you were hurt!” Sans yelled.

“Sans! Calm down, I'm okay, alright? I just got separated from Frisk, okay? Don't worry,” you said as soothingly as possible.

“where are you? i'm coming to find you the moment papyrus lets me go.”

“Sans, Pap just told me you can't teleport right now. Don't you even dare find me, you're gonna get hurt.”

“but--!”

“No 'but's! I'm okay, alright?” You were alarmed by how angry and frightened Sans sounded. “I'll call you as soon as I get to Hotland and find Frisk, okay?”

“_____! _no!_ ” Sans shouted. “what’s wrong?! what happened?!”

“Sans,” you said carefully, “I'm going to hang up now. I am okay, alright? I'm fine--”

“_____!!” interrupted Sans.

“Sans! Listen to me! Just… stay with Papyrus, and _please_ do not come looking for me, or Frisk. We're okay, I promise.”

“you _just_ said that you and frisk were separated!”

As you were opening your mouth, there was a loud thud on the other end. “BROTHER! I AM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THE PHONE FROM YOU NOW! YOU ARE GETTING FAR TOO UPSET!” Papyrus yelled on the other end.

“pap! let me _go!_ get offa me!”

“BROTHER, YOU ARE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF AT THIS RATE! ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

“pap!! tackling me wasn’t necessary!”

“I DISAGREE! YOU WERE ABOUT TO RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE! MAYBE WHEN YOU CALM DOWN WE CAN SEARCH FOR THE HUMANS!”

“ _papyrus, let me go_ \--”

“I’m gonna hang up now,” you said clearly and interrupting Sans, feeling awkward, and ended the call.

You blinked a few times as you continued on your way. So apparently, Sans was freaking out about five million times more than the last time you called, and Papyrus was apparently having to force him by actual force to not leave. It actually sounded like Papyrus had to _tackle_ Sans to the ground to keep him from doing something stupid. “Jesus,” you said, rubbing your forehead. You instantly regretted doing this, as your head began to scream in displeasure. “Owwwwww,” you moaned, resisting the urge to touch your forehead yet again and make the pain worse.

You stood there, leaning against a wall for what felt like a good ten minutes with your eyes tightly shut.

“SISSSSS!” someone screeched. You turned to the source of the noise, seeing Frisk running at you, holding gauze, alcohol, and a few other medical supplies. They ran at you and hugged you tightly, making you lose your balance.

Your leg was hurting even more than before now, but you hugged Frisk back anyways. “What happened? Where were you?” you asked them, not pulling away from the hug.

“When we fell, I woke up before you and couldn't wake you up, so I went looking for help. Then I came across this dummy who tried to kill me, but luckily Napstablook saved me, and then when I went to Napstablook's house, I called Papyrus to tell him about it, and see if you had woken up. Napstablook gave me some medical supplies he got from Alphys for... ehm… Actually, I don't know why... BUT ANYWAYS! He gave me the stuff and then I went back with them to use them on you when I saw you!”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you hurt?”

“No, I'm okay. Are _you_ hurt?”

“Ehhhh, sorta.” Frisk looked at your, confused, and you changed your answer. “Ehhhh, actually yeah,” you said, pointing to your leg.

Frisk gasped and quickly helped you wrap up your wound, putting some alcohol on it to prevent infection. The alcohol stung like a _bitch_ , but you stopped yourself from screaming swears while in the presence of Frisk. Once you were fixed up (to some extent) you and Frisk headed over to where Frisk came from. You said hello to Napstablook, who looked a little startled that you were happy to see him. You talked to Napstablook for a second, thanking the ghost for the supplies and for helping out Frisk, before bidding him farewell. Frisk quickly stopped at a little yellow star before continuing with you.

“Wait, sweetie. I gotta call Papyrus real quick.” Frisk nodded at you, and grabbed your hand. You quickly dialed in Papyrus’s number and the moment the phone was picked up, you heard a lot of yelling. Like, a lot. You actually flung the phone away from your face because the yelling was hurting your ears so much.

“let me talk to them, paps!”

“SANS! YOU WILL JUST MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE! ABSOLUTELY NOT--”

“what if they’re hurt?!”

“THEY ARE NOT HURT, SANS! DO YOU NEED SOME KETCHUP TO CALM YOUR NERVES?!”

“ _no_ , i need to talk to them! bro!”

“SANS, OH MY GOD--”

You were very done with this conversation already. Oh boy. “I found Frisk and we’re okay! Bye!” Then, before there was any time for Sans to argue, you hung up.

“Whoa,” said Frisk.

“Yeah, yeah,” you sighed. “Sans is kinda overreacting.”

“That’s cuz he loves you,” said Frisk nonchalantly, walking to the next room. Your face turned red and as Frisk pulled you behind them, you kept insisting that you and Sans were just friends. “Sure,” said Frisk, giggling.

You pretended to not hear Frisk and kept walking, meeting an old turtle, who was a little weird but overall very nice. And then… you came to a dark room with glowing blue grass and small mushrooms that lit up when you pressed them. The room was so dark that you ran into walls multiple times trying to navigate it. Frisk sped through the room, and sounded very disappointed when you explained that most mushrooms did not make cute squeaking noises when you touched them. You kept walking, but even though you and Frisk kept joking around and talking about how pretty the rooms with the grass that glowed were, your mind kept lingering back to poor Sans. He was so worried about you. Sure, it was kinda… weird? And you definitely didn’t enjoy the way he was acting, because he was overly furious about you not wanting him to be hurt. But still, he was worried. You kinda got that way with Frisk, didn’t you? Yeah, you did.

The grass stopped, and the Tem Frisk had been fighting was gone. Great, pitch blackness. _Great._ “Here, sweetie, grab my hand.” Frisk held your hand tightly and you took a step off the grass, and your foot landed in water. Why was there more water? You groaned, and limped along, holding Frisk’s hand as tightly as possible. Your legs were soaked and Frisk was actually half-submerged within the water. You sighed and picked them up, stumbling along in the water. When you hit the rocky ground again, you almost tripped, but you thankfully stopped yourself before you actually fell over. Then you saw a weird sight in the distance, faintly glowing. A light blue flower was glimmering.

Intrigued, you and Frisk walked over to it. They looked like the Echo Flowers Sans had told you about a little while ago, just a while after your complete breakdown. You’d seen some while you and Frisk were running from Undyne, but you hadn’t been able to listen to them because, well, you were running from Undyne. You were fascinated by the flower, and gently poked it, wondering why it was so silent.

“B e h i n d  y o u ,” said the flower in a deep, feminine voice. You whirled around, putting Frisk behind you to protect them. And then, Undyne emerged from the shadows, armor clanking loudly. “Seven,” she said.

You were surprised. “What?” you snapped.

“Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King Asgore Dreemurr… will become a god. With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the surface back from humanity… And give them back the suffering and pain we endured.” You stood, completely still, glaring at her. “Understand, humans? This is the only chance the two of you have at redemption. Give up one of your souls… or I’ll take both from your dead bodies.”

A spear materialized, and you were frozen in fear. She was going to kill you. Would she try to kill Frisk? You had to protect them from her if she was. And even if she wouldn’t try to kill Frisk, they would still need to be protected. Undyne took a fighting stance and began advancing, her spear tightly clenched in her hands. You took a similar position, holding Frisk behind you, preparing for any sudden movement from the attacker.

Then, like a blessing, from the reeds to your right, Monster Kid popped out. “Undyne!!!” he shouted, excited. “I’ll help you fight!!!” Undyne froze, and the three of you all stared at the kid, until you tore your eyes away and scanned the area for an escape. There didn’t seem to be one, but you were determined not to die like this. Monster Kid looked around, and spotted you and your sibling. “YO!!! GUYS! You did it! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you! You BOTH have front row seats to her fight!!!” He was smiling from ear-to-ear, oblivious to what was happening. Then he looked confused, seeing your angry look and Frisk’s horrified one. He turned away. “... wait. Who’s she fighting???” With that, Undyne whisked MK away, with him worriedly asking her if she was going to tell his parents.

You and Frisk bolted, your leg screaming in agony, up a new path that had been revealed by new glowing grass.


	10. Spear of Justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a new chapter up! Again, sorry for the wait... I'm not good with deadlines tbh.

_“HMM… IF I SAY MY WISH, YOU PROMISE YOU WON’T LAUGH AT ME?”_

_“of course i won’t laugh!”_

_“SOMEDAY, I’D LIKE TO CLIMB THIS MOUNTAIN WE’RE ALL BURIED UNDER. STANDING UNDER THE SKY, LOOKING AT THE WORLD ALL AROUND... THAT’S MY WISH.”_

_“pfft… hahahahaha!”_

_“HEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LAUGH AT IT!”_

_“sorry, it’s just funny…_

_that’s my wish, too.”_

The voices from the Echo Flowers were eerily familiar, but you couldn’t quite place who it was, exactly. But the conversation… it made you sad. You thought back to what Undyne said, remembering that monsters only needed one more human soul to be free… And here you were, _two_ humans, one child, one adult… How selfish could you be? You could free all monsters, after all the suffering they endured, it could end finally…

But you were stopping them.

You were selfish.

You were greedy.

You were the real monster.

You had killed everyone before, after all. Everyone except… except… Sans.

Did he hate you? You wouldn’t blame him if he did. Why would he even like you, after what you did? Would he use a bullshit excuse about how ‘chara was in control, not you’ or would he just agree with you, that yep, he despised you.

That would explain why he was panicking on the phone after all. He couldn’t trust you. _You_ didn’t trust you.

You were terrible.

Despicable.

Why didn’t you just give the monsters your soul, be useful for once?

You could give it to Undyne. She would use it responsibly, you knew, thanks to Papyrus. Undyne would use your soul to save others.

Frisk was oblivious to your thoughts. They were holding your hand tightly, reading signs that were stuck to the mall.

_“Aren’t you so terrible?”_

You felt sick, but Frisk was still happily pulling you along, quietly humming to themself. You didn’t want to scare them. _“What do you want, Chara?”_

_“Oh, nothing. I’ve just been listening to you mope. How’s that leg, by the way?”_

_“Awful, thanks,”_ you thought, grimacing.

 _“... You know, we_ could _try being friends.”_

_“Hah. Funny.”_

_“I’m serious. Wouldn’t life be so much easier for you?”_

_“You killed everyone!”_

_“Didn’t you just call blaming me a bullshit excuse?”_

_“... Shut up.”_

Giggles rang out through your head. _“Aw, why?”_

_“I oughta just tell Sans that you’re back.”_

_“Hmph, how stupid do you think I am? I won’t be nearly as easy to get rid of this time.”_

_“Fuck off.”_

_“Ooh, that’s a naughty word. Anyways, to answer another question you have, no doubt, I won’t be able to stay as long as I did previous times. Protecting my essence mean that I would be significantly less as prominent as before. It took quite a bit of energy to even talk to you like I am right now. I couldn’t give you any nightmares or anything. Your thoughts just now were just a tipping point for me to be able to speak to you.”_

_“Well, maybe I shouldn’t think those things anymore.”_

_“Go ahead and try. It certainly isn’t that easy.”_

_“Can you just leave me alone? I’m going to give Undyne my soul next time I see her anyways.”_

_“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”_

_“Why not? Because you won’t be able to kill everybody?”_

_“How would itty-bitty Frisk deal with your death?”_

_“... They would get over it eventually.”_

_“Will they?”_

You didn’t respond.

 _“Awwwww! I’ve used quite a bit of my energy to talk to you. Ah well, I’ll be going, then. See you later, _____!”_ Demented cackling echoed around you as Chara’s presence left.

You took a deep breath, blinking back tears. Friends? Why would she want that? And she tried talking you out of suicide as well.

What just happened?

Also, jesus christ your leg was hurting.

“YO!!!”

Oh no. You and Frisk had ended up walking onto a bridge (you hadn’t even noticed, thanks Chara) and behind you was a smiling, armless monster. “Hehe, yo, I’m uh, not supposed to be here but… I have to ask you something? Haha. I’ve never, ever, uh, ever had to ask this before, and it’s kinda awkward now? I guess? But haha. Are you humans?”

“Yep,” said Frisk, with you nodding mute beside them.

“Wow! I knew it! Well, now I do. Because, uh, Undyne said ‘Stay away from those humans.’ And, uh, looking back on it, Sans said you were humans too. Haha. So like, uh… I think we have to be enemies now.” Frisk looked incredibly hurt, and your big sister instincts wanted to scream at MK, but he didn’t know any better, so you just bit your tongue and squeezed Frisk’s hand. “But yo! I kinda suck at that. So uh. Say something mean so I can hate you? Haha.”

Frisk shook their head, too shocked to speak.

“Aw man, so that means I gotta do it?” Silence.

“You could also _not_ do it,” you piped up.

MK looked pained. “But I gotta,” he said. “So uh… I hate you guys.” You quickly shot a furious glare at MK, who looked very guilty, as you turned to Frisk, who looked like they were about to cry. “Wow… I feel… like a turd. I-I’m going home.” And Mk started running down the boardwalk.

“WAIT, KID-- THAT’S NOT SAFE COME BA---”

But it was too late. MK tripped, just like usual, except he toppled off of the bridge. You stood, staring in horror, when you saw two white buckteeth biting onto the cliff. “W-wait! I tripped! Help, p-please!” And then, as you rushed over, you saw Undyne, and stopped in surprise, making _Frisk_ trip and fall over, holding on to the cliff desperately next to MK.

“FUCK!” you yelled, swearing so loudly that Frisk and ML visibly flinched.

You knew that there were three options with your hurt leg: 1.) Save Frisk and yourself, leaving MK to fall to his death. 2.) Save MK and yourself, leaving Frisk to their doom. 3.) Save both children and hurt your leg even more or fall to your death.

What an easy decision.

You quickly grabbed onto both of the kids’ sweaters, and yanked them up, tossing them back onto the bridge. But as you expected, the motion made your leg collapse, which made you lose your balance. You screamed as you stumbled off of the bridge, tumbling into the abyss,.

Closing your eyes and waiting for the inevitable, your heart pounded in your chest, making you feel so sick that you were fighting a strong urge to vomit. And then you heard a gruff voice yell, “MOVE!” from above.

A strong arm grabbed you by the wrist and swung you back onto the bridge. Scrambling to your feet, you immediately grabbed both children and ran off of the bridge with them. A large figure jumped back onto the bridge, and you realized that Undyne just saved your life as she looked over to you.

She stared at you for a good minute before silently walking away. MK turned to Frisk. “Y-yo. I’m sorry. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, huh? Haha. We’ll just have to stay friends instead, hah.” Frisk smiled and hugged MK, before you cleared your throat, causing the kids to look at you strangely.

“You should get going home kid. And er, this time, walk.”

“For sure!! Later, guys!”

“Bye, kid.”

“Bye!!” Frisk called. MK carefully walked across the bridge, then ran away happily. You chuckled to yourself, dreading meeting Undyne, as you knew you surely would. “Sis, you scared me,” they said quietly.

“Sorry, sweetie. But let’s just keep going for now, alright?” Frisk just looked at you silently and grabbed your hand tightly, walking forwards. There was another bridge, but it was much shorter. And if your leg was hurting you before, it was sure as hell hurting now. Your limp you were walking with was so severe that you had to sit down and scootch across the tiny bridge so that you wouldn’t topple off the side of it. Frisk was looking at you anxiously as you slowly got to your feet, and they silently offered to help hold you up. You were going to deny them, but you thought better of it and leaned on Frisk a little to help your leg a little.

You kept walking, and saw a giant mountain with a gaping hole inside of it. Then, you heard the voice say, “Seven.” You froze, and looked up to see an armored figure. Undyne. “Seven human souls, and King Asgore will become a god.” _Not this speech again,_ a little voice inside your head begged. “Six. That’s how many we have collected thus far. Understand? Through one of your souls, we will have the last soul we need. Through your seventh and eighth souls, this world will be transformed.”

“Why’d you save me then?” you called to Undyne, hiding your fear, and pushing Frisk behind you. “Why not take my soul right then and there?”

Undyne was silent, then… “Obviously it was through your human mind control powers.”

You made a face. “ _What?_ ”

“ANYWAYS! Before that, it’s customary for you to know the tragic tale of our people. It all started, long ago…” Silence. “No, you know what?” You looked at Undyne, when suddenly, she roared, “SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL THAT STORY WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE!?! NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Undyne threw her helmet off, and she turned around to show a beautiful blue fish lady with a long red ponytail. She had pointed teeth, and you felt anxiety rush through you. “YOU! YOU’RE BOTH STANDING IN THE WAY OF ALL OUR HOPES AND DREAMS! Alphys’ history books made me think you humans were cool… with their giant robots and flowery swordsmen. BUT YOU TWO? YOU’RE JUST COWARDS.”

Anger flooded you. “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH!” you yelled. Undyne looked surprised, then narrowed her eyes.

“What?” she said dangerously.

“Sis, no!” Frisk whispered, tugging your shirt backwards. You swatted their hand off of you.

“YOU HEARD ME! IS IT NOT COWARDLY TO TAKE THE SOUL OF A KID? A KID WHO DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU? YOU WANNA FIGHT? FINE! BUT YOU FIGHT ME, NOT FRISK!”

Undyne’s smile grew. “You know, I thought that goody-two-shoes schtick was wimpy! But now? There’s some respect! But you know what? Right now, I feel everyone’s hearts beating as one! Everyone’s been waiting their whole lives for this moment! But we’re not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together as one, they can’t lose! Now human, let’s end this, right here, right now. I’ll show you how determined monsters can be! Now! En guarde!”

Undyne leapt off of the cliff and you pushed Frisk away from you. “Sis! NO!” They called, but Undyne already swept her spear through your chest. You didn’t hurt, but you couldn’t move.

“What in the fuck?” you muttered, trying to move your legs. Undyne tossed a spear at you, which you clumsily caught.

“En guarde!” Undyne yelled, smiling dangerously. Then, your soul popped out of your chest, but instead of it being red as the usual, it was a gleaming, neon green. It reminded you of when Pap (or ‘Buddy,’ as he asked you to call him) made your soul a dark blue, making it harder to do things such as jumping, making you hit the ground much faster. You wondered what green meant for you. “As long as you’re green you CAN’T ESCAPE!” Oh. That explained things. Such as why you couldn’t move your legs, for example.

“WAITTT! SIS! I CAN’T LET YOU DO THIS ALONE!” Frisk yelled, and suddenly a red soul popped out right next to your green one.

“FRISK, NO, YOU’RE TOO LITTLE--”

But it was too late, and the next thing you knew, there were two green souls. “WE HAD A DEAL, UNDYNE!” you shouted, looking at Frisk, who was trying to move their legs, catching another spear Undyne threw at them.

“Relax, I just can’t have them run off to get you help. The spear’s for if i miss. Psh, as if. ANYWAYS, if you can’t learn to face danger head on, you won’t last a SECOND against me!”

“Then let’s settle this!” you yelled, turning your spear in a defensive position, looking at Undyne with pure determination.

Her fanged smile grew. “That’s more like it!”

“I bet you can’t do anything to me, anyways!” you shouted, egging her on. Undyne smirked and suddenly started flinging spears at you, both from in the air and from her own hand. You twisted around, blocking spears from behind, in front, and the the left of you. No spears went near the small child to your right. “That all you got?” you asked smoothly.

“Not bad,” Undyne said. “But let’s see how you do against this.”

There were about five times as many spears going at you.

Your day was going great.

\-------

Undyne towered over you as threateningly as she could. You were getting low on HP, and refused to let Frisk give you food, just in case they got hurt and needed it. “All you got?” you repeated, wiping blood from your chin. Undyne smiled again.

“I’ve got to hand it to you, you’re not as flimsy as I originally thought,” she said coolly. “But how will you do against _this_?” She flung a spear at you, and it passed through you and Frisk, and suddenly, your legs relaxed, and your souls both turned back into red. Yours was a dimmer red, you noticed, looking at your soul next to Frisk’s. Undyne was staring at your soul, seemingly… shocked? But you weren’t able to linger on that, as Frisk grabbed your sleeve and began running, pulling you after them. You tried to run after them, but your crippled leg made it so difficult that you tripped and fell, almost impaling yourself with your spear.

“Keep running!” you shouted at Frisk, seeing Undyne bolting towards you. Frisk didn’t listen, and ran back towards you, only for Undyne to catch the two of you and make your souls green yet again.

“You won’t get away this time,” she said dangerously.

“Guess I’ll get away next time, then,” you retorted. Undyne’s smile grew dangerously wide and she summoned too many spears for you to even begin to count, some blue, others a weird yellow color that were backwards. They shot towards you, and about half of the backwards ones went straight for Frisk. “FRISK!” you screamed, and swung your spear to the side of them to block the spears, only for the spears to change direction last second and shoot you in the side. You screamed in agony, and for a split second Undyne looked horrified, but she immediately went back to being haughty and triumphant. Your knees felt even weaker than before under you, and you were sure the only reason that you hadn’t collapsed was because of the magic holding your legs down. You coughed, and small flecks of blood flew out of your mouth and onto the ground. Your stats…

One HP.

You laughed a little hysterically, feeling terror fill your veins. Then, to your great surprise, Undyne turned your soul back to red. With a shocked expression, you crumpled to the ground and groaned. She was staring at you, trying to maintain her cold expression but she looked conflicted.

“SIS!” Frisk screamed. They grabbed you, and yelled, “LET’S GO!” They pulled you after them, you staggering behind them drunkenly and falling multiple times. You didn’t need to run.

Did you even want to?

Who cares if you died?

Wouldn’t it be better?

Better for monsters?

You kept stumbling along, hearing Undyne walk menacingly towards the two of you. “SIS! EAT SOMETHING!” Frisk was trying to give you food, but you pushed it away.

“No,” you said hoarsely. “Keep going, sweetie.”

“SIS! YOU’RE GONNA DIE IF YOU DON’T EAT SOMETHING!”

“I know,” you said.

“SIS, NO! PLEASE!” Frisk was crying. “YOU’RE MY ONLY FAMILY LEFT!” You looked at Frisk mournfully. Maybe you would die a different time, when you weren’t in front of them. You snatched a Cinnamon Bunny from the satchel and ate it. Frisk smiled at you joyously, and you felt injuries seal up. Your sides weren’t bleeding anymore, but your leg still was killing you. You looked behind you, seeing Undyne walk towards you.

You sighed in pain, and picked Frisk up in your arms. How close were you to getting to stupid Hotland, anyways? Then you saw a giant electric sign, welcoming you to Hotland.

Convenient.

You hurtled down the hall, and you heard Undyne start running behind you. A firm hand grabbed the sleeve of your sweater and tugged back on it in an attempt to stop you, but you sleeve just ripped, leaving your lower arm exposed. You ran faster, to survive.

***SANS**

“paps.”

“SANS.”

“let me go.”

“ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK FOR THE HUMANS?”

“yes.”

“THEN NO.”

“paps.”

“SANS.”

“please.”

“NO.”

“paps.”

“SANS.”

“i’ll work if you let me go.”

“REALLY?”

“yes.”

“RIGHT WHEN I LET YOU GO?”

“yes.”

“ARE YOU LYING?”

“no.”

“WELL THEN, YOU’LL HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH ME GOING WITH YOU.”

“paps.”

“SANS.”

“please let me go.”

“ONLY IF I GO WITH YOU.”

“paps.”

“SANS, NO!”

“ffffffffffffffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnneeeee,” I groaned. Papyrus smiled, and stood up. “you were sitting on me for like, five hours.”

“AGREED.”

“what if they’re hurt?” I felt sick. I had definitely overreacted, but after all that had happened in this timeline and the last one, I didn’t feel as good about ______ being alone. Well, she had Frisk. But Frisk was not a lot, and she wouldn’t let them get hurt.

“THEN WE’LL HELP THEM, OBVIOUSLY.”

“yeah.”

“WAIT! BROTHER! I MUST CALL THE HUMANS REALLY QUICK!”

“paps, we’re losing time--”

“WE ARE GOING TO YOUR JOB. WHY DO YOU CARE?”

“money lost, nap time lost, lazy time lost… ya know.”

“OF COURSE. I EXPECTED NO LESS FROM YOU, BROTHER. BUT I NEED TO MAKE THIS PHONE CALL!”

“ffine…” I stared at my hands anxiously, tracing the bones on either while Paps made his call. I was too worried to listen to him.

“BROTHER! WE CAN GO NOW!”

“oh. uh, cool. let’s go to the one in hotland, alright?”

“I HAVE NO ISSUES. PERHAPS WE WILL SEE OUR FRIENDS!”

 _Yes, exactly_ , I thought.

I grabbed Pap’s hand and teleported near my station and sat down, looking around for the kiddo and their sister.


	11. Faded Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THERE'S GONNA BE SOME DARKER THEMES IN THIS CHAPTER LIKE SUICIDE, ABUSE, HOMICIDE, SOME GROSS DEATH STUFF(I GUESS?????) SO IF YOU THINK IT'S GONNA UPSET YOU PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS DONT READ IT  
> ALSO FEEDBACK IS WELCOME THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 54 KUDOS

You screamed an inhuman scream as you hurtled away from the murderous fish woman. You were _out._ O-U-T, out of there. Your arm and leg were hurting and it was getting harder to carry Frisk, but you pushed yourself to run faster, hearing Undyne loudly clank beside you. Breathing raggedly, you stumbled, almost losing your balance. You closed your eyes tightly and kept running. Frisk was clutching onto your sweater, although, you couldn’t exactly blame them.

And it was around that moment when you saw them.

There was a tall skeleton with a red scarf and a short skeleton in a blue hoodie. You stared at them in shock as you ran, making eye contact with Sans for a brief moment. Then you felt angry.

Sans _knew_ you didn’t want him to come after you, and now he would either see you die or he would possibly attack Undyne. You tore away from his gaze and kept running, hearing Papyrus yell, “HUMAN??”

“Papyrus?! What are you and Sans doing here? Don’t you two know that humans are lurking around here?!!”

Sans was so stupid. Now not only was he in danger, but Pap was too. You set Frisk down and started moving towards Undyne, ready to kick her ass. Undyne kept lecturing Papyrus and Sans was still staring at you, slowly moving towards your general direction, which made you shoot him a steely glare. Sans froze, looking slightly hurt, and you came up right next to Undyne. She was too busy to yell at Papyrus to notice you, and Papyrus looked near tears.

Fucking stupid ass skeleton. You would take care of this bullshit yourself. You didn’t need anyone’s help. You could do this alone. You did most things alone anyways. It would be fine. You might not be, but everything else would. They didn’t need you, and you didn’t need them.

You took a deep breath, about to scream at Undyne about how cowardly she was, when a certain Frisk screamed, “I LOVE COLD FOOODDD!!!” You and Undyne both turned to look at Frisk like they were crazy, and then you remembered as you felt Undyne’s breathe against your neck that she _was_ trying to kill you. You ran towards Frisk, as did Undyne, although slowly and without pretty much any speed. You grabbed Frisk and put them behind you, facing Undyne.

Your heart was painfully ramming against your ribcage, and Undyne looked at both of you with pure anger as her steps came to a stop. Then, the gorgeous fish woman’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she crumbled to the ground. You stared at her in shock, and you heard a panicked Papyrus crying in the background, with Sans desperately trying to calm him down. You knelt down next to Undyne and felt the back of her neck, and found that it was burning. She was being cooked alive. Eyes widening, you turned to Frisk, and told them to get water. As Frisk dumped the water over Undyne. you looked at her in terror. You didn’t want anyone to die, especially not a monster. Undyne’s eyes fluttered open, to your immense relief, until you remembered that she was trying to kill you. Undyne looked right back into your eyes, with just about as much shock as you had been looking at her with only a few minutes ago. She got to her feet and without a word, turned away and began to leave.

“UNDYNE! LET ME ACCOMPANY YOU!” Papyrus cried, chasing after Undyne. As soon as the two of them both left your sight, you looked at Sans, who was looking at you in worry. You narrowed your eyes, and got ready to yell at Sans, but you were once again interrupted by Frisk.

“SANS!” they yelled in joy, jumping up to hug Sans. He hugged them, and laughed a little.

“sup, kiddo?” he asked.

Frisk paused to laugh while hugging Sans before they answered. You saw your chance and you took it. “Why the hell are you here?” you asked the short skeleton venomously. “You could have gotten Papyrus or yourself _killed,_ and you know it. I _told_ you not to come! What the f-fffffffffffffrick is your excuse?!” You tried your best not to swear around Frisk, because your parents swore around Frisk all the time. Sans avoided eye contact with you. You stomped over to him, feeling a searing pain your leg, so much so that it made you woozy. Black spots flashed and out of your vision and you bit your tongue harshly, drawing a little blood. “What if you saw one of us _die?_ Is that what you ffricking want? You could have been outcasted by monsters, Sans! What the fuu…” Intense dizziness. “Whoa... ugh...”The black spots almost completely took over your vision, and you shook your head, trying to get rid of them and the pain. However, it had rather the opposite effect of what you wanted, making you overwhelmingly dizzy and sick. You could hear Sans and Frisk yelling at you in a panic, but their voices weren’t processing in your mind. They were just mutters; nothing more than sounds faded into the background. Your vision clouded even more than it already was, and it felt like someone was spinning you around way too fast. A pounding headache drew your attention away from the real world.

The last thing you remembered?

Your eyes rolling to the back of your head and you falling down, down, down...

***Y/N**

***Y/N**

“Hi guys,” you said as you opened the door to your house. Both of your parents looked at you in disinterest, and you mother took a swig of her beer. You took a shuddering breath, attempting to calm down before you broke into shattered emotional pieces again. “How was your day?” As usual, you were met with a sour silence from both of them. You mom smashed her bottle to the ground, and you violently flinched, feeling fear rise in your chest and tears well up in your eyes. Determined not to cry, you swallowed and set your backpack down by the door, some books and papers spilling out. “The last day of school was nice,” you continued, praying for any response. There was none. “Hey, um, where's Frisk? Are they still in school?”

“What do you think?” spat your father harshly. Anxiety pounded through your chest, constricting you, salting old scars and making your lip quiver. “They'll be home soon, or they'll be beaten.”

Small waves of panic started coursing through you. You didn't want to get hurt, but Frisk was too young to be beaten again. “D-dad, they're only six. Y-y-you c-can't,” you weakly protested, taking a few stumbling steps towards him, feeling your heart race. Terror. Terror. He was going to hurt you. He was going to beat you. He would. Mom would watch. She wouldn't care. She didn't care about you or Frisk. Or Dad. She cared about herself and her beer. It was Dad's fault. You hated him. You hated him.

“What did you say, bitch?” asked your father coldly.

Fear, sadness, fury. Overpowering emotions. Ones you couldn't control anymore. You had multiple breakdowns at graduation, so why not now? You hated him. He couldn't make your life worse than it already was. And you hated your mom, too, for breaking her promise that she would always be there for you. They were both worthless. Garbage. Disgusting. Vile. Pathetic. “Fuck you,” you said to your dad, whose eyes widened in surprise. On the couch, your mother cackled at you mockingly.

“What?” repeated your father, lowering his voice. Ooh, scary, you thought in amusement. You were crying, tears were streaming down your face.

“I said FUCK YOU, and I MEANT IT. You're PATHETIC. A waste of TIME and a waste of SPACE. I hate you! I hate you! I FUCKING HATE YOU!” you screamed at you father, slamming your feet into the ground, making the entire house shake. You started screaming at your father; not words, but just raw, hate-filled screams. He was taking longer to react than usual. He hadn't hit you yet. Maybe you could hit him instead. “PATHETIC! DISGUSTING!” you screeched. “I HATE YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!” you howled. On the couch, your mother was no longer laughing, but instead standing up, strutting towards you as a cheetah does to its prey. The pathetic excuse of a father was staring at you in disinterest, and it only made your rage even more intense. You broke. The shattered pieces of you were scattered across this playground, and you had no more intentions of putting the glass back together like a puzzle, you intended to use them as knives to kill, to hurt. Screaming like a madman, you flung your body at your father, beating him as hard as you could. Now he was reacting. He was screaming, he was bleeding like a pig. He was a pig. You could kill him. You would do it.

But then your mother came into play. She had picked up her literal glass shards and carved it into your shoulder, making you scream and back away from her, clutching your bleeding arm in tears, wailing. As your father rose, wiping blood from his mouth, he began to beat you, harshly.

Frisk came home a few minutes later.

It was their last day of school, too.

For you, it was the final day of 12th grade.

For Frisk, it was the last day of kindergarten.

For both of you, it was the last time you ever went to school.

As extra punishment for your breakdown, not only did your parents strip Frisk out of school, but they only allowed a slice of bread and a glass of sightly dirty water to you and Frisk a week for a month. The two of you shared the water, but you wouldn't eat any more than ¼ of the slice of bread that you would get.

On top of that, your parents wouldn't treat your wound.

It had been Frisk that had stitched it up.

It was Frisk that made sure it didn't get infected.

It was Frisk that had gotten hurt by your actions.

You hated yourself.

You felt tears stream down your cheeks, and then you felt someone hug you tightly, even though there was no one anywhere near you...

***Y/N**

And then?

Then you were sitting in your room in silence.

It was four in the morning.

It was when you were 16.

A few days after your birthday, a few days after that sweet 16.

Yours wasn't all that sweet.

Your parents bought you a water bottle and an apple. And they called you a waste. Or your dad did. Your mother just wept in the corner, taking a beating for you. She was holding Frisk close to her then, and Frisk was screaming and grunting in fear, signing “help”.

Frisk was sleeping on the couch with Mom.

If you didn't scream, maybe this would work.

You stared at the kitchen knife before you blankly.

Nothing mattered anymore.

No one cared about you. You had no friends. Mom had Frisk and Frisk had Mom.

You _were_ a waste. A mistake. A droplet of ink that fell right in the middle of an artistic masterpiece.

It had been you that ruined your parents. Your dad didn't want a child, and you were what everyone called “an accident.” They had been drunk, and they had been stupid. Before that, you heard stories about how much of a romantic your father had been, and how kind he was to everyone. Your mother always told stories.

But all those types of stories became nothing more than memory when you came into the picture nine months later.

You ruined your father.

The knife was so deliciously tempting.

Who would stop you anyways? No one.

You thought about movies, where the protagonist laughed right before they killed themselves.

You weren't laughing. You were silently sobbing, watching tears fall with _plips_ to the ground.

You didn't have a note, and you didn't really need one, either.

You took the knife, it shaking in your hands tremendously. And then?

Then you did it.

It hurt.

_God, it hurt._

And so you screamed. And then your mom ran into the room and screamed. And then it went black. And then?

Then Frisk was at your bedside, signing to your mother, _“When will she wake up? She has been sleeping a long time now.”_

You had ruined everything, yet again.

***...**

Everything was dark, was the first thing that you noticed. Like, incredibly dark. You could feel an arm draped over your body, holding your tightly. Squinting so your eyes would adjust to the dark, you blinked.

You turned slightly and saw your boyfriend nuzzled against you, snoring a bit in his sleep. He furrowed his brow bone a bit and sighed, pulling you closer. Because of the height difference, he had his head buried in your neck, and you could feel his breath against you.

He groaned and nuzzled you again. Smiling a little sadly, you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled the cutie, pulling the green blanket further over him. He sighed again, but more contentedly.

And then within moments, he was snoring again.

You smiled to yourself. Goddammit babe, you thought. You were awake, as you had been for the past month every night, staring at the wall with wide eyes. So many things were flooding back. You knew so much.

Too many. It made you feel guilty.

You even remembered the first timeline, which made you want to go to the surface even less than you wanted to before.

But you didn't know if you wanted to plague everyone in the Underground with your irritating and nasty existence.

...

You hadn't killed anyone according to Sans.

But Sans never was around you by the time you killed them.

...

So many murders...

You weren't surprised.

You would kill again.

Who knew when you wouldn't feel the urge to kill?

You'd been thinking about it for a while, and you decided that tonight was the night that you would kill again. You'd gone for much longer this timeline than the last one without killing.

You slid out of the bed, away from your sweetheart, and the arm fell limp next to you. He made a face and grabbed your pillow in his sleep. You grabbed one of his blue coats that was lying on the ground and threw it over your shoulders. Would Frisk reset again after they found out what you did again?

Who cared anymore?

 

 

 

*

R

E

S

E

T

.

<TIMELINE 34 ENDED.>

***...**

Something seemed so new about this.

You were pressing your ear against the door of your room and panicking.

You parents wouldn't actually sell you, would they? They still cared about you two a _little_ bit, didn't they? Surely they wouldn't sell Frisk, who was only a kid? Or your mother would at least come to her senses? Keep her promise?

You knew the answer to all the questions, and you didn't like any of them.

Sneaking food for Frisk and yourself, you tried to open your window, with it not opening nearly wide enough for yourself, but wide enough for Frisk. They fell out of the window, and ran to the edge of the woods, You could either shatter the window or go through the front window. You reached under the bed for a toolbox to chuck through the glass, but you found nothing there.

Odd. That was where you kept it.

Well.

Front door it was.

That door was so infuriatingly loud that you knew you were just going to have to make a break for it. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Calm down. Take a moment. You sighed, then quickly signed to Frisk that you lacked a toolbox to break the window with, and that you were going through the front instead.

Run.

You bolted through the house and slammed into the front door, making it open wide. Your side immediately burst into pain, but you tried to ignore it. In pain, you stood at the door for a few seconds, a precious few seconds that could have cost your life. You could hear your dad screaming and start running for you, making you run and leave. You dashed to Frisk, lifted them up, and entered the woods.

“BITCH! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

Anxiety. Panic. Coils of fear and memory that would never leave.

He was going to kill you, kill both of you. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Dead, no hope, there was no way.

No, deep breaths. Run for Frisk. Save Frisk. Only for Frisk.

So you ran and ran. And your father chased you. In fear when he popped out of a tree right in front of you, you sharply dived to left into a pit, where Frisk flew out of your grasp and tumbled down in. You started to fall down with them, but your father yanked on the collar of your sweater, and so, you didn't fall. “FRISK!” you screamed. Terror. Oh god. Oh god. Was Frisk dead? You were. You were so dead.

“Bitch,” said your father heartlessly. Coils of anxiety rested in your chest. You were going to be sick, you were dead. Not like this. Not like this. Please, oh god, please not like this. Any way but this. You wish that you had been able to kill yourself. You wished that you had let Frisk run alone. You were scared. You were so scared. He was going to kill you. He was.

“HELP!” you cried out. “HELP ME!” Tears were falling from your wide eyes in a panic. “ANYONE, PLEASE HELP ME!” He had a knife. He had a knife, and it glinted in the moonlight, making his orbs shine in cold anger and hatred. You tried to crawl away, fall into the hole, anywhere, but your dad stomped on your back, making you crumple. From the hole, you heard Frisk's voice, startling you.

“SIS?” they screamed. “SIS?”

You were too scared to think. You had never been more scared. “HELP!” you screamed in dry, harsh sobs. No. No, they couldn't help you. They were probably dead too. And they were deaf. But you were panicking, not thinking, so you kept screaming. “FRISK!”

“FRISK, RUN AWAY! FORGET ABOUT M--” Ohh, the knife. Blades hurt more than you remembered. The knife was driven through your back and it came out of your stomach. You gurgled and choked, crying harder. Your eyes hurt. It hurt. You screamed louder than you had ever screamed before. He yanked the knife out brutally, making blood flood out of your stomach. And he stabbed you again.

Not like this.

Not... like....

No...

Frisk....

there was a shattering sound.

Blackness.

Words.

Shattered pieces of a red, glass-like heart.

Options.

*RESET *CONTINUE *SAVE

You walked towards the options, then rested your hand on one of them.

*SAVE

And that was all she wrote.

<And that was all you wrote.>

<TIMELINE 1 STARTED.>

 

*** _ **Frisk**_ **

//////

“ _SIS!” Frisk waited. They heard screams._

“ _HELP! FRISK!” A pause. Frisk was terrified. “FRISK, RUN AWAY! FORGET ABOUT M--”_

_She screamed and gurgled. There was so much fear engulfing Frisk that they could barely function. She kept screaming and crying for a long time, until there was a deafening silence._

_*SAVE_

_< TIMELINE 1 STARTED.>_

“ _SIS?” Frisk yelled fearfully. Their dad laughed. Frisk was scared. They were scared. They couldn't... they slowly began to lose consciousness._

_They woke up._

_Flowey._

_Toriel._

_The RUINS._

_Sans._

_Papyrus._

_SNOWDIN._

_Undyne._

_WATERFALL._

_Alphys._

_HOTLAND._

_Mettaton._

_The CORE._

_Asgore._

_The BARRIER._

_Photoshop Flowey._

_MERCY._

_< SAVE POINT>_

_The TRUE LAB._

_Friends._

_Flowey._

_Asriel._

_TRUE PACIFIST ENDING._

…

_But they still weren't okay. They were blank. They said little. They wanted their sister back. If she had gone through the window, she might have survived._

“ _My child, are you okay?”_

“ _hey kiddo, what's wrong?”_

“ _HUMAN! WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU?”_

“ _Hey punk! What's got you down?”_

“ _A-are you o-okay?”_

“ _Darling, something seems to be bothering you.”_

“ _Do you want a nice cup of tea to calm yourself down?”_

…

“ _Sans.”_

“ _what's up, kiddo?”_

“ _There's more to you than you let on.”_

_Shocked silence._

“ _you could say that about everyone.”_

“ _You know about SAVES.”_

“ _.... i might. Why?”_

“ _What do RESETS do?”_

“ _..........they erase everything up to the beginning of your journey.”_

“ _....So, if I RESET, I could save someone?”_

“ _potentially. why?”_

“ _I miss her, Sans.”_

“ _miss who?”_

“ _____.”_

“ _who's that?”_

“ _My sister.”_

“ _why don't you go visit her, then?”_

“ _... I'm scared to.”_

“ _why?”_

“ _I'm not sure what happened to her while I was gone.”_

_Sans talked for a little longer, trying to comfort the child. Then he left._

_Frisk went back on the mountain with Undyne, since they knew she was the strongest and more likely to be able to handle whatever was still by that hole._

_Frisk was extremely careful to avoid their old house._

_When they saw their sister, they began to vomit, and Undyne shouted and covered their eyes. Frisk screamed and screamed and screamed. Her corpse had flesh rotting off the bones and flies buzzing all around her, especially in her mouth. He stomach had some organs spilling out._

_Grotesque._

“ ______________!” they wailed. “NOOO!” Sobbing. Undyne picked them up and left. She was quiet._

_And Frisk?_

_Their mind was made up._

*RESET *CONTINUE *SAVE

* R E S E T .

<TIMELINE 1 ENDED.>

***Y/N**

You fell into the abyss with Frisk.

<TIMELINE 2 STARTED.>

You met all of them.

Sans was the most different out of all of them.

Everyone seemed to recognize Frisk one way or another, but he seemed to _know_ them. And he was so shocked to see you.

But he and Undyne, who were the most surprised to see you, became the ones you were closest to.

Sans had even asked you out.

In a panic, you said, “I don't think I'm ready for a relationship.”

You regretted it immediately, but it was true. And Sans, he understood. Completely,

Undyne had been so happy about that.

“I don't have to hurt him if he breaks your heart now!” she hollered.

.

..

...

It didn't matter anymore, though.

It was too late.

Killing was despicable in the Underground, but you didn't care anymore. You hated them too much.

But once you killed them?

Frisk did something awful.

 

*

 

R

 

E

 

S

 

E

 

T

 

.

<TIMELINE 2 ENDED.>

***Y/N**

So many times.

<TIMELINE 234 STARTED.>

<TIMELINE 234 ENDED.>

Just let me kill them, is all you could think.

*** **_b u t  n o b o d y  c a m e . . ._** **

“ _Charaaaaaa! C'mon, play with meeeeeeee!”_

“ _Not right now, As.”_

“ _Charaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pleasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse!”_

“ _No.”_

“ _Plleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?”_

“ _Hm, let me think... No.”_

“ _Chara, your my sister and my best friend. You HAVE to play with me! You don't have a choice!”_

“ _Watch me, Dreemurr.”_

“ _Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgftsuy.”_

“ _FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THIS RELENTLESSLY ANNOYING. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?”_

“ _Hide and Seek!!!!”_

“ _Okay, okay, okay. I'll seek, you hide. I'll count to 200.”_

“ _YAYYY!” The goat kid ran off, presumably to hide._

_Chara stood there in silence, looking at her brother sadly._

_Monsters didn't deserve this. They weren't nearly as cruel as humans were. All humans should die. All of them. Did anyone help me when I was on the surface? No. No one even tried, thought Chara venomously._

_She took a breath. “1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26....”_

*** ** _b u t  I  d o n ' t  n e e d  a n y o n e  a n y w a y s ._** **

_You were in a room that you had never been in before. You blinked in surprise, and then you said, “Hi, Momma.” The words seemed correct when you said them, but still foreign._

_You pushed yourself off of the ground with meaty little hands, and wobbled on your chubby legs over to the door, holding a teddy bear in one hand. “Momma,” you said stubbornly, reaching up to the doorknob. “Momma!”_

“ _What is it sweetie? Silly goose, you're supposed to be taking a nap!”_

_There was a woman with big chocolate eyes, long eyelashes, and rosy cheeks smiling down at you. She had gorgeous, long flowing hair that fell down to her waist. She was flawless, but young. She seemed to be no older than 25. “Momma!” you said in joy, wrapping your arms around her leg._

_She giggled, a beautiful twinkling sort of noise. “Hi, baby! Hello!” She had dimples, and her blush grew even more when she laughed. You giggled with her._

_Then a door slammed, and the woman's face changed entirely. She went pale, years added to her face, making her look at least 50, and her smile and blush completely disappeared. She looked terrified and tired and sad. Her whole demeanor stiffened. “W-welcome home, dear!” she called._

“ _Shut up, you dirty whore. We have some issues to talk about.” The woman swallowed, trying to smile._

“ _D-dear, the little one woke up. Do you want to talk to her?”_

“ _No. I do not. Talk. Now.”_

_The woman stopped smiling. “I'll be back, honey,” she said emotionlessly._

_Despair filled you. “Momma!” you cried out, holding onto her leg tighter._

“ _I'll be back,” she with much more irritation. “Wait here.” She shook you off of her leg._

_She left. There was yelling._

… _......................................................................................................................................................................._

“ _But she never came back,”_ said Chara coldly. _“He killed her. He killed who she was. She began to drink, and began to ignore me and hit me. He would do the same.”_

You looked down, and you saw you again. The beaten, injured one from the Underground.

“ _I fell down here while I was running away. Like you, ____. Even if you don't want to admit it, we are more alike than you think we are. Both of us had abusive fathers that changed our mothers to be monsters just like them. We both attempted suicide. But most of all, we have both-. . . -”_

_***Y/N**_

“_____!”

“S-she's w-waking up...”

“is she okay? she's not hurt?”

“Sis!”

You opened your eyes and immediately regretted it. A lot. There were bright lights everywhere, boring into your skull, and a lot of white that blinded you. “Aghhh!” you groaned, shielding your eyes. “Fucking baloney pony dick shit!” you moaned, clamping your hand over your eyes tightly. “What the hellllllll?”

“ba—i mean, _____, you're in alphys's lab.”

“Alphys?” you repeated, trying to recall who she was.

“Alphys is super cool!” came Frisk's voice. “She's super nice and nerdy! You'll love her!”

“O-o-oh, th-thanks...” said a woman meekly from the other side of your bed. “I-I'm Alphys...”

You opened your eyes slightly and saw a yellow dinosaur wearing glasses and a lab coat. She was also a cutie, like Undyne, although she was a different kind of cutie. Undyne was like a bad-ass, but Alphys was like the shy geeky girl from movies. “Nice to meet you, Alphys, but uh, why am I in your lab?”

Alphys began to visibly sweat, and began stammering extremely quickly. “You passed out while you were screaming at Sans,” said Frisk knowledgeably. “Sans and I panicked and we brought you here, and then Alphys fixed your leg and arm. And I met a robot named Mettaton! He's super funny!”

“Mettaton? As in the TV guy?” you asked, startled.

“Yeah!” said Frisk excitedly. They were bouncing on one foot to the other in joy. “He tried to kill me, but luckily Alphys saved me! It was super super cool! And then Mettaton left!”

“WAIT, WHAT?” you shot up in your bed, looking at Frisk in horror. “HE DID WHAT?”

“He tried to kill me. BUT IT'S OKAY!” yelled Frisk energetically.

“the kiddo was fine, alphys had it all under control. i had left to make sure that pap was okay. speaking of which, he wanted you guys to come with him to hang out with undyne.”

You decided to address Alphys before Sans, and you sat up and hugged her tightly, which made her squeak in surprise. She was blushing a lot too. “Thank you so much for protecting Frisk,” you told her, smiling at her. Alphys smiled nervously at you.

“I-it was n-nothing!”

***SANS**

As ____ hugged Alphys, I felt a small twinge of jealousy. And worry, because she hadn't answered me yet. Would she still be mad? Would she pass out again?

Man, when she collapsed, it terrified me. And when the kiddo and Alphys left to battle Mettaton, and she started to scream in her sleep, it did not help matters much. She was thrashing around so violently that I couldn't get near her, and when she finally calmed down, she began to cry. I figured she was having a dream about the past timeline, and so while she cried, I had hugged her to my chest tightly, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She eventually calmed down and slept in almost complete silence, so I left to Papyrus and Undyne, who were both talking about something extremely passionately. And then Paps told me that the humans, himself, and Undyne needed to hang out.

I told him I would ask.

And then I came back, where about an hour later, ____ woke up.

And now we were here.

_____ finally let Alphys go, and then turned to me. “Would Pap be there the whole time?”

“yeah, it's his cooking lesson. he'd never miss out on one of those.” I saw Frisk roll their eyes, knowing that I wasn't exactly telling the whole truth. He wouldn't miss out on one _yet,_ anyways. “he lives for those things.”

She relaxed a bit. “Well, I guess it's okay, then.” She gently shut her eyes. “I had such an awful dream, but I can't remember it at all. It's gonna bother me.”

Alphys looked at her shyly. “I-I could probably help...” She was looking at her feet.

“Would you? That would be great. Thanks so much.”

“Y-yeah. I-it might take a f-few days, though. A-and, uhm, I would have to s-see it too f-for you to remember..?”

“That's okay!”

Alphys smiled a little again. And there was another twinge of jealousy.

*sigh.*

“welp, i'm going to get home. seeya.”

“Later, Sans.”

When I teleported home, I felt sick.

Something told me that it was a bad idea for her to remember that nightmare.


	12. SAVE Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO BAD AT UPDATING

“sup, grillby,” I said as I sat down at the bar. I was supposed to be sleeping, but I wanted to talk to Grillby.

This timeline was weird, and everything was new, which I hated. ____ had been yelling or ignoring me for about a week now from the phone or her bed, and I too stressed to go on with it without talking to someone about it.

“Hello Sans,” replied Grillby softly. “The usual, I presume?”

“nah. do you have anything stronger than ketchup?”

“Sans, you know how you get when you have too much ketchup. Are you sure?”

“yeah. i’ve been having a rough time.”

Grillby pushed his glasses up and hopped over the bar, sitting next to me, staring intently. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

“____’s mad at me still. and she’s visiting undyne with pap later tomorrow, since her leg’s finally good enough to put weight on again.”

“So your feelings are hurt and you are worried for her safety?”

I slumped over the counter. “pretty much, i guess.”

“She will be fine with your brother near her, I’m sure.”

“yeah.” I kept pouting, staring at the bar, which had been polished so well that I could see myself. There was a very upset looking skeleton staring back at me.

“Why is she upset with you?”

“can i get my super ketchup before we talk more ‘bout this?”

Grillby sighed, leaving temporarily into the fire exit before returning with ketchup mixed with hot sauce. “Now, what did you do?” he asked as he set the bottle in front of me.

“she’s mad that I followed her.”

“I don’t follow that, I’m afraid. Followed her when, exactly?”

“i went to hotland to help her, and she got mad cuz she was running from undyne and she didn’t want me or paps to get hurt. and she had told me not to come multiple times and that i, uh, didn’t listen to her. but mainly she didn’t want me or paps to get hurt by undyne.”

Grillby sighed again, looking into space. “Yes, she is quite caring…” The small yellow flames that served as his eyes were staring off in a dreamy sort of way, and I felt confused for a second. Grillby usually never acted like this.

“how much have you guys been talkin’?” I asked him, looking at him a little confused still.

“Just whenever she cannot sleep or has a nightmare, just like you. Sometimes she comes during the day and gets some food, or to chat.”

I was a little surprised, but then I chuckled. “well, you are good for listenin’, i guess. can’t blame the girl.”

Grillby looked back at me. “I’m touched, Sans.”

I took a swig of my drink, downing it in almost one gulp. “that was the intention.” I looked at my almost empty drink. “can i get another one of these?”

It was by about the fifth drink I had that Grillby looked at me in worry. “Sans, please, slow down. You are going to get drunk. And then you will be sour tomorrow.”

“ughhhhhhhhhh…. that was the intention…”

Grillby reached over for my drink, but i quickly finished the rest of the drink, stopping him. “Sans!” he said in irritation.

“i was actually gonna pay for this one!”

“That… was not what I was yelling about… but will you really?”

“yes.”

Incredulous pause.

“if it goes on my tab.”

Grillbz groaned, putting his thumb and forefinger to his head. “Ah yes, your _tab…_ how much do you owe me again?” I stayed quiet, laughing a bit to myself. “Oh, that’s right… _994,715 G._ ”

“urghh, how about i give you…” I searched my jacket pockets. “erhh… 10 G now and i’ll slowly pay off the rest later?”

“It is better than nothing.” I tossed 10 G at Grillby, feeling more and more sleepy.

“wow… did you put sleepy syrup in that drink or somethin’...?”

Grillby pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “They affect you with a side effect of exhaustion when either drunk quickly or when there has been a lack of other food throughout the day. Or when you have too many at once...” Grillby looked back at me, looking bitter.

“oh… well then i’m fuuckddddd..”

“Sans, go home. We will discuss more of this tomorrow. When you are not drunk.”

“grillbz, noooo…..”

“Sans, yes. To help with the exhaustion, here is a mint.” Grillby stuffed a mint into my hand.

“i doen wanna go thoughhh…”

“ _Now.”_ I frowned as best I could with a smile as I slunk out of my chair and started heading outside. “Goodnight, my friend.”

“g’nite,” I said without slurring my words _too_ much. Damn. I always forgot how strong that drink was. As I opened the door to Grillby’s and walked into the snow. I could teleport… but that would take more energy.. and might not be super accurate since I wasn’t exactly sober.

But.

But it was quicker and easier than walking.

And I was lazy.

I opened a door and stumbled through, although the door into my house was slightly misjudged, seeing as I teleported over my couch by quite a few feet and falling onto it with a loud thump. I groaned loudly into the couch, feeling even more tired and lazy than before.

I planned to pass out on the couch.

But the door opened, a there was some giggling, and then a hissed whisper that said, “We got back late. You need to be _quiet_. Go to Pap’s room.” There was a grumpy “aw” and then I heard Frisk walk up the stairs.

____ stood silently. “Ahem.”

I pretended like I was sleeping.

“You’re not tricking me. I heard the thud. Get off my bed, Sans.”

I groaned, burying my face into the couch. And then _____ sat on my stomach, lounging back. I groaned louder. “stsahp,” I said. She rolled over, attempting to crush me further.

“WHOA YOU SMELL LIKE KETCHUP AND HOT SAUCE,” ___ commented loudly, leaping off me.

“yeahaa kianda.”

“What the hell are you even trying to say?”

“yessss eijs.”

“Are you _drunk_ or something?” Her eyes narrowed substantially in the darkness.

“noa.”

“I thought alcohol didn’t affect monsters?”

“it doesnsstt… oi like ketgvup andn hotdauce kinstead.”

“Jesus. How much did you even _drink_ ? You can’t say _anything_.”

“ooune.”

“Wow. Weak drinker, much?”

“nonn!” I shouted, feeling woozy and suddenly very upset. “itsg powmerful!” I put my hands over my face and shook them violently, before covering my face again.

“Uh.”

“yeds!”

“Uh.”

“hygh.”

“Okay. You’re going to bed.”

“nno!” I crossed my arms and curled up. “i’m comoofyeroable.”

She stared at me as I pouted, and then sighed. “Whatever,” she said coldly, as I sighed contentedly, and snuggled into the couch. Then I heard the door shut gently.

I tried to call her name, but what came out was just a jumbled mess. I giggled at the failure, feeling giddy. Then, I slowly drifted to sleep.

***Y/N**

You muttered curses under your breath about Sans, feeling even more irritated. “Drunk asshole,” you spat.

A memory of your father flashed to your memory, and you frowned. Your father was passed out on the couch, beer dribbled in thin, brown streams down his chin. A bottle was dangling from his fingertips. It would have been so easy to have killed him right then. It would have spared you so much pain. You were fourteen. All you needed to do was get a kitchen knife...

No.

Now wasn't the time to reminisce.

Right now, you just needed a place to rest. The inn would have to do, you supposed rather reluctantly. The hesitance you had to stay at the inn had nothing to do with the inn itself. The lady was nice and all, but you simply didn’t have much money to spend on it.

You guessed it was better than sleeping on the floor. You hated sleeping there; all it did was bring up bad memories of your life before you came Underground.

You always either slept on the ground or on a bed frame that had a mattress that was actually just an old piece of plywood you stole from your dad.

You could have had an inflatable mattress, but there was only one, and you wanted Frisk to have some comfort.

They used to always get hit by your father for “not listening to instructions.” But they _couldn’t_ listen. They were _deaf._ It was because of that damned bastard that Frisk had to learn to read lips. Daddy dearest hadn’t even _bothered_ to learn sign language. You and your mother were the only ones who even attempted it, and your mother just gave up eventually.

It actually wasn’t too difficult for you to learn. Frisk learned sign language at the school they went to, and they taught you what everything meant as well.

“A” was a closed fist, with your thumb at the side of your fist, pointing upwards.

“B” was 4 fingers held together and held up with your thumb held against your palm.

“C” was just mimicking the letter C with your hand.

“D” was basically just pointing.

And so on.

After you learned the alphabet, you learned colors. Most of the colors were pretty simple; just shaking the letter of the color. For example: Blue was “B” in sign language, only you twisted your hand from side to side.

You quickly got the hang of it. To help you, you took a sign language class at school as well. It was the only class you aced.

All of the other classes didn’t matter to you anymore. You flunked all of them besides reading and your language, mainly because you had to be good at them for little Frisk.

In fact, you _barely_ graduated. You had to stay after school everyday for almost two months to bring up your grades.

You didn’t see the point in learning. It wasn’t like your dumb ass would get into college anyways. And even if you did, you couldn’t leave Frisk alone. No one would believe your family was that fucked up, not even your best friend. Your parents acted differently around others. They might have been despicable, but they weren’t stupid.

They knew the penalties of child abuse.

And your scars weren’t any proof. You were known for your self harming tendencies. No one cared.

No one.

And your best friend didn’t need more weight on their shoulders. And…

And they hadn’t had the best life either.

You were there to help them, they needed it.

But you hadn’t seen them since they moved. That was years ago.

And you had fucked up big time the last time you saw them.

Their name was Alex. And they hadn’t cared. When you had a breakdown, they got upset.

And they stopped talking to you.

Whatever. Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

You stopped walking in the snow, breathing deeply. You didn’t want to think about that now. You hadn’t thought about it for a while, and you didn’t want to.

Your eyes started tearing up anyways. “Fuck,” you muttered, wiping tears off your cheeks. You sat down in the snow, your head in your hands. “Fuck,” you repeated louder, your voice cracking under the pressure of the memory. Warm tears streamed down your cheeks, and you quickly wiped them away, making your face feel numb from the cold. You sat there shaking for a few more moments, waiting for your eyes to stop being so red before you started moving. Sighing in irritation, you got up to your feet and walked over to the inn. You opened the door, smiling brightly, trying to hide the fact you had been crying. “Hey!” you chirped, waving to the innkeeper.

She looked up and smiled warming. “Hello! How are you, ___? It’s awfully cold out. Why are you up at this time?”

“Oh, Sans passed out on the couch and I just needed a place to spend the night for tonight. I hope you don’t mind me seeing if I could stay here for tonight.”

“Well of course, dear! We are an inn, after all. I’ll check and see if we have any availability, alright?” You nodded, smiling. You liked both of the rabbit sisters quite a bit, and this one, (Emma, you thought?) had an adorable kid. You didn’t see them standing next to their mom however, so you figured that they were sleeping. Emma came back.

“What’s the scoop?” you asked her.

She looked sadly at you. “I’m sorry, it seems we’re full at the moment.” Your heart plummeted. “Is there anywhere else you can stay?” she asked you nervously, wringing her hands together.

You smiled again, but this time with more of a reassuring type. “I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I might try Alphys, that's where I've been staying recently... Thank you!”

“Sorry, ____!” she called at you opened the door.

“Don’t worry about it!” you said warmly, leaving. You frowned once you were out. Where would you sleep?

You had no idea. And you weren’t even tired anymore. Maybe you’d just walk around instead. You had loved Waterfall when you visited it previously, and hadn’t really gotten to enjoy the scenery. You walked along Snowdin, feeling like you were gonna freeze, until you finally got to the cave entrance to Waterfall.

As you walked in, you smiled widely. It was really beautiful. There were gems embedded in the walls and water was dripping around you. There was a little river, too. Oh, you loved it. You kept walking and walking, doing as you wished. You eventually came to a room, full of cyan water and only lit by that, the blue grass, and the echo flowers. The echo flowers interested you most. You'd heard about them, but you had never actually gotten to listen to one of these ones, since while you were passing by them, Undyne was trying to harvest your soul for monsters everywhere.

You stared at the flowers, gently pulling one to your ear and listening to it.

“ _so? don’t you have any wishes to make?”_

You walked over to the next flower.

“ _... HMMM, JUST ONE, BUT… IT’S KIND OF STUPID.”_

You recognized the voices. Sans and Pap. And then it struck you that the flowers you had heard before, when you were with Frisk, were also the two of them.

They wanted to get to the surface.

You felt a pang of guilt hit you.

So, you told these flowers your wishes, right?

You knelt down to one, and whispered to it, “I wish I could free them by giving up my soul. Who gave me the right to live above and not them?” You stared at the flower, then listened to it, hoping that it might somehow give you advice.

There was a pause this time and for a second your heart did a flippy thing. Then the flower said, “ _I wish I could free them by giving up my soul. Who gave me the right to live above and not them?”_ A small, sad sigh came from you. You stood up, dusted off your pants, and walked away, humming softly to yourself.

You walked over to a bridge, then slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants, dipping your feet in the water. You closed your eyes and sat there for a while, humming tunes you remembered from the surface. Most of them were old lullabies, but some of your favorite songs were also sung.

“So,” said someone behind you sharply.

You froze, not expecting anyone else to be up. Especially not her.

“So,” you repeated, turning to Undyne. She was standing behind you, and you saw her holding a flower. It was in a pot.

“So you want to free us.” Your heart began to beat a little faster. Long strings of swear words were filling your thoughts, making you panic a little, but you tried your best to hide that anxiety. Undyne couldn't know how emotionally weak you were. “With your soul. Because you don’t think you have the right.”

“Yeah?” you asked, looking away, still trying to mask your emotions with an indifferent feel.

“Do you know what that means?”

“Do I know what _what_ means?” you parroted back in a whiny voice.

“What using your soul to free us means.”

“Oh.” You paused, dropping the mocking tone. “Obviously.” Picking at the dirt from under your nails suddenly seemed fascinating.

“Are you sure?”

You turned to give Undyne a sour face. “Yes, I’m sure,” you snapped.

Undyne looked dumbfounded. “It means you’ll die. To free us, you have to die.”

“Do us all a favor then, wouldn’t I?”

“If that’s what you want, why didn’t you give up?”

“I was about to.” You kicked the water. “Just not in front of Frisk.”

“You’d die for us,” repeated Undyne for the thousandth time.

“You would die for monsters, too,” you pointed out flatly. “They deserve it, don’t they? Freedom?” Silence. “Look,” you said, glancing at your feet. “Why not just kill me now? I won’t fight you. I won’t stop you. It’d be better for everyone. You could make up some sort of lie about what happened.”

“What happened to fighting? The DETERMINED soul?”

You looked at Undyne like she was insane. Which she probably was, a little bit. “Yo, _what_?”

“Red souls mean your dominant trait is determination. Alphys told me one time while you were passed out. She explained the colors.”

“Huh,” you said. “Didn’t know that.”

“But what happened to it?”

“How the hell should I know? And does it matter?” You were getting irritated. She hadn’t had a problem with killing you before, and now you didn’t have a problem with it either. “Just-- just kill me!”

“This isn’t a fair fight.”

“Who cares?” you spat.

Undyne avoided the question. “Why aren’t you with Pap?”

“Why aren’t you killing me?” you shot back.

Undyne suddenly smiled horribly. “You're right,” she said. “There's something off about you.” A spear was summoned, and she knocked you out with her fist moments before she impaled you with it.

You opened your eyes to see a screen in front of your. You couldn't feel anything besides a throbbing pain in your forehead.

“ _I'm surprised that she actually killed you.”_

“ _Not you again,” you groaned. “I'm dead. Leave me alone already. You can't possess me or my body now.”_

Chara looked at you coolly. _“She must have sensed ,=my presence. I'll have to be better about hiding myself next time.”_

“ _I'm DEAD! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”_

“ _Heh. Frisk is awake, and when they find you... they'll either reset... or they'll try to go back to a save point. The only way they know how to go back to a save is to die, however. And they hate doing that. They've only done it three times to get back to a save, and they've only gone back to a save twelve times.”_

“ _No. Can't they just keep going?!”_

“ _They can... but I've seen this countless times. They won't. Speaking of...”_

You looked back into the screen and Frisk running into Waterfall, crying, “Why's the barrier broken? Not again not again not again...”

And then they came to a corpse with a giant hole in the abdomen. Your eyes were closed, and your lips were gently opened. “NO!” they shrieked, grabbing you. You felt like crying. But you wouldn't in front of Chara if you could help it. And then...

Frisk had a menu in front of them with the options CONTINE and RESET. They were reaching for the latter before they turned as if listening to someone on their left. Then they slowly looked back at the menu, before closing it.

They looked at the water, and suddenly tied their hands and legs together with the strap from your bag, and they threw and many rocks as they could into it. Once the bag was so full that they could barely move it, they grabbed your corpse and scooted to the water.

Your eyes widened. _“NO! FRISK! DON'T--!”_ Frisk was pulled into the water and you screamed, trying to get through the screen to save them somehow. Eventually... the splashing stopped, and someone new joined you in the pitch black void with the screen. A very drenched Frisk was coughing, and you rushed towards them, sobbing harshly. _“Frisk, why?!”_ you wailed, hugging them tightly.

“ _Sis...”_

“ _Why'd you do it?!”_

“ _Sis... in a few moments... you won't even remember this. This will turn out differently somehow, I know it. Whatever triggered Undyne to kill you has hidden themselves somewhere else. I love you.”_

“ _Frisk, whaddya mean? Frisk wai--”_

Something felt a little off, but you couldn't remember why you felt that way, so you just ignored it. You walked over to a bridge, then slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants, dipping your feet in the water. You closed your eyes and sat there for a while, humming tunes you remembered from the surface. Most of them were old lullabies, but some of your favorite songs were also sung.

“So,” said someone behind you sharply.

You froze, not expecting anyone else to be up. Especially not her.

“So,” you repeated, turning to Undyne. She was standing behind you, and you saw her holding a flower. It was in a pot.

“So you want to free us.” Your heart began to beat a little faster. Long strings of swear words were filling your thoughts, making you panic a little, but you tried your best to hide that anxiety. Undyne couldn't know how emotionally weak you were. “With your soul. Because you don’t think you have the right.”

“Yeah?” you asked, looking away, still trying to mask your emotions with an indifferent feel.

“Do you know what that means?”

“Do I know what _what_ means?” you parroted back in a whiny voice.

“What using your soul to free us means.”

“Oh.” You paused, dropping the mocking tone. “Obviously.” Picking at the dirt from under your nails suddenly seemed fascinating.

“Are you sure?”

You turned to give Undyne a sour face. “Yes, I’m sure,” you snapped.

Undyne looked dumbfounded. “It means you’ll die. To free us, you have to die.”

“Do us all a favor then, wouldn’t I?”

“If that’s what you want, why didn’t you give up?”

“I was about to.” You kicked the water. “Just not in front of Frisk.”

“You’d die for us,” repeated Undyne for the thousandth time.

“You would die for monsters, too,” you pointed out flatly. “They deserve it, don’t they? Freedom?” Silence. “Look,” you said, glancing at your feet. “Why not just kill me now? I won’t fight you. I won’t stop you. It’d be better for everyone. You could make up some sort of lie about what happened.”

“What happened to fighting? The DETERMINED soul?”

You looked at Undyne like she was insane. Which she probably was, a little bit. “Yo, _what_?”

“Red souls mean your dominant trait is determination. Alphys told me one time while you were passed out. She explained the colors.”

“Huh,” you said. “Didn’t know that.”

“But what happened to it?”

“How the hell should I know? And does it matter?” You were getting irritated. She hadn’t had a problem with killing you before, and now you didn’t have a problem with it either. “Just-- just kill me!”

“This isn’t a fair fight.”

“Who cares?” you spat.

Undyne avoided the question. “Why aren’t you with Pap?”

“Why aren’t you killing me?” you shot back.

“I-” She then smiled. “You’re right. Your soul is the only thing keeping us here-- you’re the only thing stopping us from being free!” She looked at you coldly, summoning a spear, raising it above her head, about to throw it, when a conflicted look crossed her face. Her neon turquoise spear shook in her hands, and she looked at you with the look of something similar to remembering something from years ago. Then… the spear clattered to the ground and disappeared. “I can’t…” she said, shocked. “I can’t kill you.”

“Why not?” you asked, irritated.

“Something’s stopping me. Like- like I’d lose a great friend.”

“But I’m a human.” You couldn’t understand. She hated humans. Why was she sparing you? “Why not?”

“You’re so familiar to me. And even though for a second I thought that there was something sinister about you, that feeling is gone. Honestly... if you were a monster, I’d like you. your personality, your joking matter… There’s something different about you. But I can’t! I CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH A HUMAN!”

“Oh?” you commented, bored.

“YOU-- YOU MUST BE USING MIND CONTROL,” Undyne said loudly, pointing at you accusingly.

“Mind control?” you echoed, amused. Something about this conversation seemed familiar. Undyne was so familiar to you. “Maybe you aren’t up to the challenge.”

“I’M UP TO ANY CHALLENGE!” Undyne yelled. “WE WON’T JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WILL BE BESTIES!”

“Ooh. That’s a lotta work,” you said playfully, shutting your eyes with a smile. “Maybe I don’t wanna be friends, anyway. You almost _killed_ me more than once.”

Undyne looked enraged. “WHAT? NOW ARE _YOU_ NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE?!”

Your eyes shot open. “Now hold the fuck on,” you said, standing up. “I _never_ back down a challenge,” you snapped, pointing a finger at her accusingly as you got closer to her. You looked up at her with your eyes in slits, glaring at her. She was a bit taller than you remembered, seeing as you only came up to about her neck.

“Oh yeah? PROVE IT!”

“I WILL!” you shouted, then froze. “Yo, we were talking about killing me a moment ago. How did we end up here?”

Undyne rubbed her forehead. “IT DOESN’T MATTER! WE NEED TO BECOME BESTIES NOW! AND YOU KNOW HOW I MAKE MY FRIENDS?! I HAVE COOKING LESSONS AND SLEEPOVERS!” she hollered, and promptly picked you up. “NGAHHHHHHH!” she began running, you swiping your shoes from the ground. And the next thing you knew, you were in front of her house. “NOW! NERD! LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!”

“Eh, why not,” you said. And then you pushed past her. “I’M GONNA GET INSIDE BEFORE YOU!”

“NO WAY!” she screamed, and the two of you exploded through the door.

This was going to be a long night. Or fun. But probably long.

You were both crumpled heaps. “OI! GETOFFAME!”

“YOU get offa ME!”

“NGAHHHHHHH!”

“RAHHHHHHHHHH!”

***SANS**

I woke up with

the

worst

headache

of

my

life.

“nuuuuuuurghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” I groaned into the couch cushion. I put my hand against my pounding head, hating and regretting my decisions from last night. What did I even do? I asked myself, rolling off the couch with a loud, clacking thud as bones and clothes hit floor. I groaned again. Then I frowned. Why was I even on the couch in the first place? Why wasn’t I in bed? And then, I slowly remembered the events of the previous night.

Including ____ leaving the house irritatedly. And somehow, I had a horrible feeling that she had been hurt somehow. How though, I couldn't think.

I jolted upright, making black spots dance in front of my eyes. Not good. What was I even thinking? She needed somewhere to sleep, and I doubted she would sleep on the floor.

I got to my feet, in pain, and quickly checked the time via (ugh) MTT television.

Even if he _was_ a pathetic piece of scrap metal, you could always count on Mettaton to have the time on that big screen on his chest.

According to the diva’s glitzy screen, it was 6:30 a.m, meaning Paps and the kid were probably already gone, but that ___ would be sleeping. And she was most definitely not in the house.

“shitshitshitshit,” I muttered under my breath, rushing out of the house. Where would she have gone? “the inn,” I said immediately. She would have had to spend money.

 _Fuck,_ she’s going to be even angrier than she was already. I walked into Snowed Inn, and waved to Emma. “yo, em.”

“Oh, hello Sans! I don’t see you much around here. Do you need anything?”

“nah. i was just wondering if ____’s here.”

“Oh! Well, um, she did come in here last night. Very late too.” My heart lifted. “B--”

“can you go get her for me?”

“Well, that’s the thing… we had no vacancy.”

Why do these things happen. “what?”

“She said she would figure something else out. I thought she meant that she was going to go with Papyrus in his room or that other girl she mentioned, Alphys.”

“thanks. i’ll check it out.”

“Tell me if she’s okay!” called Emma after me.

“aight.” I opened a door as I opened the inn’s actual door, silently amused by the coincidence. And then I was in Alphys’s lab. “hey alph,” I said casually to the shy anime lover.

She jumped and turned to face me, leaving her desk. “S-Sans? W-why are you h-here? What’s the o-occasion?”

“emma, the innkeeper back in snowdin, said that ____ said that she might come here to spend the night? er, last night, i mean.”

“I didn’t see h-her a-a-at all last n-night…” Alphys looked worried. I started sweating and panicking. “B-BUT! W-we can check l-last night’s footage!”

Small relief. “good. check snowdin, around 12 in the morning.”

Alphys clicked a few settings into her computer and then rushed over to the TV with a remote. “This is a-about 12…” I looked at the screen, worried. “Th-there she is… wow, sh-she looks mad…” And Alphys was right. ____ was stomping out of the house, kicking snow. She started walking over to Snowdin, but then she slowly came to a stop, shaking her head. There was a lot of static in the audio for the video, but I could hear a “fuck” and then she sat down in the snow, shaking a bit. And at first, I thought it was just her being cold, but then, I saw her wipe tears from her cheeks, and putting on an extremely fake smile. My heart twisted and I looked at her in complete sadness. It was my fault... On the video, she got to her feet and continued to the inn. Alphys started fastforwarding, and then, I saw ____ walk to the entrance of Waterfall. “L-let me s-switch cameras real quick…” She kept switching cameras for the longest time, and if she hadn’t been fastforwarding, it would have been at least two hours of her just walking around. Luckily, it was only about five minutes for us. ____ seemed to be greatly enjoying her surroundings.

She listened to the Echo Flowers scattered about, and then looked a little sad, whispering a wish to one herself. Then she walked away, tossing off her shoes and rolling the legs of her pants up a bit. She dipped her feet in the water, and as I was watching the video, I began to panic. Undyne was listening to the flower, and then she ran the other way, coming back with a pot. She dumped the flower in a pot, and then walked over to ____.

Alphys was still fastforwarding, so the audio was indiscernible, but then I saw spears summoned. I was about to leave, but Alphys snagged my coat. “W-wait! Look!” I turned back to the screen, only to see Undyne holding ____ under her armpit and running in the direction to her house.

“i’m going.” The pupils of mine were gone, and I opened a door, and walked out of it directly in front of Undyne’s house.

There were loud screams and a lot of smoke coming out from the windows, so much that I couldn’t even see in the house. “YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME!” I heard ____ screech from inside the house.

“FUCK YEAH I AM!” Undyne yelled back. I walked up to the door and was about to blast it from existence, until another voice popped up.

“UNDYNE! THE SMALL HUMAN SHOULD NOT BE HEARING SUCH VULGAR LANGUAGE!”

Pap was there?

What.

I knocked on the door, unsure. “I’M GONNA GET IT!”

“NO I AM!”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY, TUNA BREATH!” Loud crashes came from inside.

“OVER MY DEAD BODY, HUMIE!”

More loud crashes.

“GET OFF OF ME!”

“I SAID I WAS GONNA GET IT FIRST!”

“WELL, IT’S MY HOUSE! GET OFF ME!”

“NYEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!” roared Paps, and the door exploded off the hinges, me barely dodging it. “I’VE GOT IT!”

I could see inside now, as well as all the carnage. Inside, Undyne’s house was completely obliterated, with food splattered all over the house. Undyne was attempting to get ____ off of her, and I could see ___ sitting on Undyne’s shoulders, with her arms gripped tightly around the fish woman's face, making Undyne unable to see anything. Undyne finally tore ___ off of her and tossed her to the ground, starting to go for the door again, only for ___ to grab her leg, making Undyne collapse. “LET GO OF ME YOU DAMN HUMIE!” she hollered, running to the door. Undyne made it to the door with ____ holding onto her leg tightly still.

“BROTHER! I AM SURPRISED! I NEVER KNEW YOU WISHED TO JOIN OUR COOKING LESSONS!”

I stared inside. “where’s the kid?”

Pap turned around, showing a small human gripping onto his armor. “THEY REQUESTED A PIGGY BACK RIDE.” They waved to me, smiling. I noticed their eyes were a little puffy, like they had been crying.

“you okay, kid?” They grinned and nodded.

“Onions,” they said simply. I kinda doubted it, but then again, that made more sense than anything else.

“I can't see shit,” ____ complained, her face in the ground.

“Maybe that's because karma, bitc-- I mean, butch?”

“You want a slice of karma, tuna breath?”

“Bring it on punk.”

“Eh............ on second thought, maybe I'm too lazy.”

“HAH!”

“BUT NOT FOR COOKING!”

“NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BRING IT!”

“actually, uh,” I interrupted. “i kinda wanted to speak to _____.”

_____ stood up, brushing dust off her shirt, and then turned to me with an angry look on her face, flipping me off. Owch. Then she bitterly walked over to me, her arms crossed. “What do you want?” she asked flatly, examining her hand with complete disinterest.

“i wanted to uh, apologize.”

“Pffft. Is that all?”

“well, uh, last night i wasn't myself--”

“Yeah, you were drunk. Don't worry about it. I've dealt with drunks my whole life. Is there anything else? And how did you know I was here?”

“well, i also wanted to apologize again for what happened earlier. with undyne. where i followed you when you told me not to and stuff.”

“Mhm. Okay, whatever. Apology accepted.”

I blinked. “really?”

“Yes. I'm getting annoyed by you constantly apologizing. So now answer my other question. How'd you know I was here?”

“when i woke up, i remembered last night and so i went to alphys to check the cameras.”

She relaxed a little. “Oh,” she said in the same emotionless tone.

“I saw you go to Snowed Inn, but--”

“How much did you see.” I looked up at her, startled, and she looked back at me, her eyes dark and her face pulled into one of fury. Like pure fury. She was shaking with utter anger. For a second, I swore I saw some red in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by her normal eye color.

“just you walking away and walking to it...?” I had a feeling she didn't want me to know she had cried, and she was already angry enough at me as it was.

And my suspicions were confirmed when she relaxed again and sighed. “Oh. Okay.”

“yeah...” I said, looking at her. “by the way, grillby was asking bout you. ya might wanna head over there.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” she replied. She turned around and screamed, “LATER BESTIE, BUD, AND NERD!!” “WAIT!” Frisk hopped off of Pap's back and ran to their sister, hugging her tightly. “Sis! Don't go!” Their voice trembled as they spoke, and I noticed their grip tighten on their sister.

“Sweetie, what's wrong?” ____ asked, suddenly worried. She softly ran her fingers through Frisk's hair, hugging the kid gently.

“... I... It's... nothing....” they said quietly.

“It's clearly something.”

“... You'll be okay,” they said clearly. ____ looked extremely confused, and I saw her shoot a glance at Undyne and Paps, who both seemed equally lost. “Sans is with you, so you'll be okay.”

I felt my face heat up, and I stuffed my hands in my pockets, coughing. “i'm confused,” I announced.

“WE ALL ARE, BROTHER,” said Paps. “AFTER ALL, YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO BE MUCH HELP WITH ANYTHING. HOWEVER THAT'S ALRIGHT. I LOVE YOU NONETHELESS. EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU TELL PUNS. THEN I HATE YOU EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY.”

“Same, usually,” said ___, making me blush harder. I pulled up my hood, hoping it would go unnoticed.

“ARE YOU BLUSHING?!” Undyne screamed at me.

“no,” I replied quickly. Probably too quickly. But I felt my blush fading, and when ___, Frisk, and Pap all looked at me, there was no blush. “you're putting out a red herring.”

“LEAVE!” screeched Papyrus. “NO PUNS! YOU NEED TO LEAVE!”

Undyne snorted, but quickly put on a pissed expression. Frisk giggled, and hugged their sister again. “Love you, Sis. Seeya.”

“Love you too, honey.” She walked out of the house, while I ran out to avoid being hit with clumps of burnt pasta that Undyne and Papyrus were enthusiastically throwing at me.

“so you aren't mad at me anymore?” I panted as we walked away from Undyne's house, wiping off black pasta sauce from my skull.

“Hah. I'm still angry, but you're still my friend, too. Can only be mad for so long.”

“heh, that's fair,” I said back, relieved.

“But how did you get drunk?”

“oh. monsters use ketchup or hot sauce as alcohol, and when they're put together, they're pretty powerful.”

“Pfft. Smooth.”

“i know, right?” I grinned wider. “so what happened with undyne? thought she hated you.”

“We made a challenge to be the best besties that ever bested,” ___ said immediately, and I felt a little relieved that she was mostly back to normal. “We stayed up all night challenging each other and making really really really REALLY burnt spaghetti. We almost burned down her house like, 37 times I think. We were counting.”

“paps burns it down like every week they have their cooking lesson. she's remodeled it so much. alphys had to make the inside fireproof while you were in the lab, actually.”

“Probably why it didn't burn down,” ____ said, laughing. I stared at her, smiling a bit. She really was beautiful when she laughed. And all the other times. But I loved it when she laughed. She noticed I was staring at her and I quickly looked away. “So, uh, are we gonna take a shortcut orrrrrrr?”

“meh. we can if you want.”

“Nah, let's.... _ketchup_.”

It took me a second. But I started laughing right after, and she laughed a bit too.

We talked until we got to the front door of Grillby's, and then I headed home, feeling so relieved.

She didn't hate me. Thank god.


	13. You Done Messed Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ON TIME UPDATE!!! WHAT IS THIS??????

“GGGGGGGRILLBY!” you shouted as you bursted though the door. The whole place looked at you in shock, but they quickly all laughed.

“Hello, ____. It's been a little, hasn't it?” You ran over to him and jumped onto a bar stool, almost falling over but catching yourself at the last second.

“You're telling me, man. But I was kinda healing.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“Meh, Undyne tried to kill me and she broke my leg into like, shreds in the process. BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE NOW WE'RE BESTIES AND I HAVE A KILLER SCAR ON MY LEG.” And to accentuate, you hit your fists on the bar excitedly.

Grillby looked a little worried and pushed up his glasses. Then he chuckled. “Oh dear,” he said. The flames atop his head were crackling a bit, which you knew meant that he was either angry or amused. You guessed amusement was the case this time around.

“It's awesome,” you assured Grillby, nodding to yourself.

The flames crackled a bit more, you could swear for a moment you saw a smile, but you decided you were imagining it. “I believe you,” said Grillby in his soft voice, chuckling again. Grillby then suddenly dropped his voice down to a murmur, and asked, “Have the nightmares improved any?”

You stiffened, then wrinkled your nose a bit. “Not really,” you muttered. “I think they’ve been getting worse. Ever since I’ve been with Alphys, there’s been this one dream that’s been happening over and over. I can’t ever remember it, and Alphys wasn’t able to help me remember it either, even with her machines and psychology books.”

“You cannot remember any of it?”

“Well…” A little flash of memory rushed to you. A knife positioned at your stomach, and you ripped it across… Wincing, you covered your stomach with your hand. “One.”

“Do you wish to talk about it?” You thought for a moment. Grillby already knew about your dreams of killing everyone, and you found out from him that Sans had told him about the resets. Grillby also knew about Chara, although not by name...

But Grillby knew nothing of your past from the Surface. _Those_ were the secrets no one else could know, the deepest, darkest ones. The reason why you constantly faked smiles and amusement and happiness and hope. The reason your eyes almost always looked empty and emotionless. The reason you were covered in scars and always had to wear long sleeves and a turtleneck sweater. That reminded you. You had to mend your sweater. It was your favorite one you owned, and it reminded you of the nice woman from the hospital who gave it to you, who you had become friends with, but hadn’t been able to talk to because of your parents. You still remembered her phone number, but you were too scared to call her now. What would you say? What would you do? And then suddenly, you missed the woman. She had been only a few years older than you, and you had really hit it off with her.

“___?” Grillby brought you back to reality, and you blinked at him in surprise, remembering his question.

“Not… not this one.” You looked at your hands quietly. And then you bitterly thought about how the shirt you were wearing, even though it was your favorite color, didn’t hide your scars nearly well enough. You thought about when you first met Sans this timeline, how the whole first day you hadn’t worn your sweater. Had… had he seen them? The only reason you hadn’t worn anything was because you thought you wouldn’t meet anyone and become close to them. Anxiously, you tugged down on your sleeve, trying to cover your wrist better.

Grillby noticed the tugging, but he said nothing, still looking at you quietly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said dully. Memories were popping up from your past, as they always did when you thought of the Surface. You wanted to go back to sleep so that you wouldn’t have to talk to anyone anymore. That was what you usually did. Checking your phone from Toriel, you looked at the time mournfully. 8:30 a.m. You scowled, shoving your phone back into your jean pocket roughly. “I need some time alone, I think. Later, Grillby.”

He waved at you, looking concerned still as you walked outside. Outside, you slumped against the side of the building, pulling out Toriel’s phone that Alphys had graciously upgraded for you.

You stared at the contact.

“GoatMom 2.0”. Toriel had chosen the name, and you kept it because you thought it was funny. When you and Frisk lived with her, you would wander the Ruins often, and she would always call you when it was time to head back. You also always accompanied her when she would go on her daily routine of looking for more fallen humans, talking to her happily. That was one of those few times you had been happy. Toriel’s contact picture was a picture of you, Toriel, and Frisk, with you and Toriel looking like pie had exploded on your faces, and Frisk looking like they won a great prize. Which is kinda what happened. Frisk threw a pie at the two of you and it got all over your faces, and Frisk laughed their head off, taking a selfie with the two of you. You liked the picture, and so you used it.

And then you went back to thinking about calling Toriel. You stared at the screen, forcing your mind not to wander like how it enjoyed to. You remembered how happy you were with her. Maybe you could visit, or something. You made up your mind, and clicked “Call.”

_Ring ring. Ring ring._

“Hello--”

“MOM!” you said joyously. “MOM I’VE MISSED YOU--”

“-- I am unable to reach my phone right now, but you can always call one of my children, who always have their phones on hand…”

“I don’t _always_ have my phone on hand, Mom!”

“____, you are on your phone as we speak.”

“.... You’ve got my… _goat._ ”

Uproarious laughter rang out, and you felt a pang. You remembered recording that voicemail with Toriel.

“That was terrible.”

“Shush, Frisk, Mom and I are enjoying ourselves!”

More laughter, and then a beep, signaling for you to leave a message.

You stayed quiet for a moment, and then you felt like you were about to cry. You walked into the woods, deciding to leave a message for her. “Hey Mom,” you said, feeling your voice tremble.

“It’s been a while. I miss you. So does Frisk. We’ve made quite a few friends. Frisk has been telling more bad jokes because of a few of us. Hah..a. Uhm. So. I called. I called because I’ve been getting worse. I love my friends. I do. But I’m getting so stressed. And so much worse. The nightmares are getting so bad, Mom. Those old nightmares are still here, but now there’s a new one. I only remember one part of it, but I can tell that the rest of the dream is similar to it. It’s about when I was still on the surface. I… I never told you before. I was too scared to. But I tried to kill myself so many times. And that was the closest I came to  doing it. Mom, I’m so scared. I don’t want to be here anymore. The thoughts are coming back. I don’t know how much longer I can stay here. I-- I’m so sorry.” _Click_.

You sat in silence. And then, without thinking, you started walking. You were going back to Toriel. You were going to try to see her one more time before you completely gave up.

***SANS**

“knock knock.”

“Who is there?”

“wanda.”

“Wanda who?”

“i wanda what you’re doing.”

“Hehehehe! Knock knock!”

“who’s there?”

“Ho-Ho!”

“ho-ho who?”

“Your Santa impression needs some work!”

We laughed together. After I dropped ___ off at Grillby’s, I teleported to the door.

“knock knock.”

“Who is there?”

“heh. santa.”

“Santa who?”

“i santa email to ya, yet you still left me out in the cold!”

“Hehehehehehehehehe! Knock knock!”

“who’s there?”

“Snow!”

“snow who?”

“Snow use! I keep forgetting my name!”

“hahahaha! nice one.”

“Thank you!”

“heh. no problem.”

“Say… Have you seen any humans pass by? They would have been here only a few weeks ago. One is a girl, rather pretty and in a nice gray and black sweater, and the other is a child, in a blue and purple sweater.”

I was surprised. She usually mentioned the kiddo and ____ at some point, but usually she just talked about how she loved them. “yeah, i’ve seen ‘em. they’re actually staying with me and my bro.”

“Are they? That is quite the relief. I had the worst feeling last night that something awful happened to one of them. I suppose it is just a mother’s worry.”

“heh, maybe. but yeah, they’re both okay.”

“So you know ___?”

“yeah, she’s great. why you ask?”

“She used to have awful nightmares. Just terrible. Has she been alright? I’ve been especially worried about her. Frisk had nightmares too, but not as bad.”

“she had em for the first week or so, but she hasn’t been having that many recently. hasn’t screamed at one for a while.”

“Oh… that’s good. I’ve been so worried… She hasn’t been spoiling Frisk too much has she?”

I laughed. “she spoils them a lot.”

The old lady sighed. “I’m not too surprised. Hehe!”

“heh, yeah.” My phone vibrated suddenly, and I glanced down.

*bro: SANS! YOU ARE NOT AT ANY OF YOUR STATIONS! START WORKING YOU LAZYBONES!

I laughed a little. “welp, i better get going. paps wants me to get to work.”

“Alright! See you later.”

“later,” I said, teleporting.

***Y/N**

When you saw Sans talking to the door to the ruins, you bolted into the trees. He didn’t need to know where you were going. And so it was from the trees that you were watching Sans, waiting for him to leave. “Leave already!!” you hissed under your breath, holding your bloody arm tightly. You had tripped and accidentally cut yourself while walking, so there was likely going to be yet another scar on your arm. An idea came to you, and you pulled out your phone.

*”Sans isn’t at his station. He’s near that big door being lazy.”

You felt a little guilty. But not a lot.

*Buddy: WHAT? I WILL TEXT HIM IMMEDIATELY! THANK YOU HUMAN!

*”Np”

And now you waited. Sans was talking, and then pulled out his phone, saying something more and then in a blue flash, he was gone.

 _HE CAN TELEPORT,_ you thought indignantly. It seemed obvious looking back on it, especially with all his shortcuts. But you were surprised nonetheless. You had, looking back, used the words “teleport” with Papyrus when Sans had been freaking out about Undyne.  But you had been stressed as well, so you supposed it merely didn’t process. You shook it off, and ran to the door, knocking on it as loudly as you could.

“Oh! I thought you had to go? Did your brother change his mind?” Her voice brought tears to your eyes and you pressed yourself against the door. You couldn’t believe it. A giddy feeling filled you, and you started crying harshly.

“MOM!” you wailed.

There was a short, shocked silence, and then, “___? Is that you?!”

“Mom!” you repeated, wiping off your tears. “Mom, I’ve missed you so much!”

“____, I’ve missed you too!” Now you could hear her crying. “Is Frisk with you?”

“N-no,” you said, trying to stop the tears from erupting again. “No. I wanted to talk to you, Mom. Mom. Oh god, mom, the nightmares have gotten so much worse. So much worse. Now it’s not just the killing, but now it’s of when I was still on the Surface and-- and I can’t remember the whole dream but I remember one part and that part is whereItriedtokillmyselfwhenIwasateenagerandsoI’mprettysurethat’swhattherestofthedreamisabouttooanditremindsmeofmyparentsfromthesurfaceandeventhoughIhavefriendsnowandkeepmakingnewonesIwanttodiesobadly!” You burst into tears again, sliding down the door and holding yourself, shaking with sobs. “I-I left a voicemail but you didn’t answer but oh god Mom.”

And there was a loud creaking, and the door opened, and Toriel picked you up and carried you inside, shushing you and rubbing small circles on your back. You sobbed, holding her arm tightly, acting like a five-year-old. She closed the door and locked it again, walking you back to your old room when you stayed there. Nothing had changed. It was still clean yet everything you had was still in the same spot.

You had finally calmed down, sniffling in Toriel’s arms. It had still been a sudden decision to come here, yet you were glad you did.

“Let’s have some pie and talk,” she said sweetly, ruffling your hair.

***SANS**

“BROTHER! WHY WERE YOU AT THE RUINS?!”

I just stared at him. “wha?”

“_____ SAID YOU WERE AT THE RUINS, SLACKING OFF!”

“whaaaa? how did she know?” genuine confusion set in.

“SHE SAW YOU, OBVIOUSLY. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING?”

“just slacking off,” I said, winking.

Papyrus walked off with an angry “NYEH” and I pulled out my phone.

*”you sold me out”

I started selling hot dogs and hot cats while I waited for a response. i wasn’t too worried. ____ sometimes ignored messages.

However, when it got to the very end of the day, and no response, I got worried.

*”have you seen ____”

*tuna: No, she totally skipped the rest of the cooking we had planned. >:(

I stared at the text, unsure if I was more upset over the fact Undyne hadn’t seen ___ or by the fact Undyne of all people used an emoji. I went around everywhere, to everyone who knew her, but no one had seen ____, not even Frisk. I teleported to Alphys’s lab, making her scream and fall when I asked, “ya seen ___?”

“Kn-knock n-next time!” she said irritably, picking herself up. “W-we can ch-check th-the cameras..”

“last place i saw her was grillby’s, around 8.”

Alphys sped through the camera, ___ and I popped up, with her walking inside and me walking off. She came right back outside within only a few minutes, which was weird. Then she walked to the side of the building, staring at her phone, before walking into the woods. Seconds later, she started walking to the Ruins. The next camera shot had some leaves covering it, and I saw myself telling knock knock jokes and such. Then, in right behind me, I saw a certain human who stared at me in surprise before jumping into the woods. A few minutes later, I got the text from pap on the video, and I teleported off. The moment I was gone, ____ ran up to the door and knocked harshly on it.

Alphys returned the video to normal speed so we could hear what was being said.

“Oh! I thought you had to go? Did your brother change his mind?” the old lady said, amused. And then ____ burst into tears.

“MOM!” she sobbed.

pause.  “___? Is that you?!”

“Mom! Mom, I’ve missed you so much!”

“____, I’ve missed you too!” Now the old lady could be heard crying. “Is Frisk with you?”

“N-no. No. I wanted to talk to you, Mom. Mom. Oh god, mom, the nightmares have gotten so much worse. So much worse.” I stared in shock. She hadn’t acted like they were that bad whenever I saw her. Guilt set in.  “”Now it’s not just the killing,” she continued,  “but now it’s of when I was still on the Surface and-- and I can’t remember the whole dream but I remember one part and that part is whereItriedtokillmyself--” Where she _what._ My hypothetical heart twisted uncomfortably, and Alphys seemed shocked too, putting her hand over her mouth. “--whenIwasateenagerandsoI’mprettysurethat’swhattherestofthedreamisabouttooanditremindsmeofmyparentsfromthesurfaceandeventhoughIhavefriendsnowandkeepmakingnewonesIwanttodiesobadly!”

_“I want to die so badly.”_

The sentence repeated in my head. I had said that before, many times to her in past timelines. I had never heard her say that to me before. She always was able to comfort me well when I would say it, but suddenly I felt sadness and anger that she hadn’t told me so that I couldn’t help her. She was crying again, sliding down the door. “I-I left a voicemail but you didn’t answer but oh god Mom.”

And there was a loud creaking, and the door opened, and a hand came out, picking her up, and taking her inside.

I stared. Alphys stared.

“We shouldn’t have heard that,” she said in a hushed voice. “We should not have heard that.”

Undyne burst through the door. “WHERE’S MY PRECIOUS BESTIE?!!” she shrieked. A spear was held in her hand, and she looked crazy.

“you’ve only liked her for a day,” I said scathingly.

“SO? WE TALKED ALL NIGHT AND I FOUND OUT I LOVE HER. SHE’S SO COOL. AND SHE’S MY ACTUAL BESTIE. SO WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?”

Alphys said, “S-she went i-i-into the r-ruins…” She was blushing harshly.

“WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??!!!??!!!!!!?!!?!?!??!!??!?!!?”

“i’m getting her,” I said, teleporting. At the very last second, however, Undyne snagged my jacket and she came with. I shouted in surprise, and we tumbled out in front of the ruins.

“I”M ALSO GETTING HER!” Undyne screamed, leaping to her feet, about to chuck a spear at the door. I caught it with my magic at the very last second.

“ WAIT!” I yelled, and Undyne looked at me in shock.

“I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD YELL??!?!??!?!” Undyne looked at me.

“l-et’s try knocking… first,” I panted, sweating a bit from 1, the unexpected passenger, and 2, the amount of magic I had just used at once.

She stared, and then yelled, “YOU’RE RIGHT! I ALMOST IMPALED MY BESTIE!” She banged on the door with her fist, almost knocking it down.

A few seconds passed, and Undyne was about to break the door down before there was a “Hello?” from the other side.

“WHERE’S BESTIE????!?!” shrieked Undyne.

I pushed her aside, and then said, “hey old lady. she means ____. this woman is her mother,” I added to Undyne.

“BUT SHE’S A HUMAN!? ARE YOU SAYING THERE ARE _THREE_  HUMANS DOWN HERE?!??!”

“Adoptive mother,” said the old lady slowly. “I’m a monster. Who are you?”

“I AM UNDYNE, CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD,” hollered Undyne.

There was a stiff silence. “Oh.”

“look, i’m sorry, she snagged me as i was teleporting here. i wouldn’t’ve brought her otherwise.”

“It is alright. You want ____?”

“please,” I said, Undyne finally calming down.

“Wait for a moment, please.”

A few minutes later, a voice came. “Hello?” ___ asked slowly. Her voice sounded empty.

“Bestie! YOu miSsEd ouR cOOkiNG!”

“Oh! I did not know you were learning to cook!” said Toriel happily.

“Surprise,” said ____.

***Y/N**

If you had remembered the cameras, you would not have come to the door without a disguise. You bitterly reminded yourself to be more careful next time. Toriel hugged you, and you leaned into her embrace.

“so, uh, we were kinda worried. you disappeared without a trace.”

“Yeah! Are you okay?” Undyne.

“I’m fine,” you replied.

And then Sans told you how he shot a text your way but you never responded, and that no one had seen you, so he went to Alphys where he located you with the cameras.

“Stupid cameras,”  you muttered.

And then Undyne explained how she had found blood in the snow (what?!”),  which scared her to death because even though monsters bleed, they only bleed when murdered and there was no dust to be found, which meant it was human blood. And then she too went everywhere, trying to find you, before finally going to Alphys’s lab.

“Oh,” you said flatly, looking at your bloody sleeve. Toriel had fixed up your arm, and you were grateful. But you didn’t really want to go yet.

“They seem very worried,” said Toriel quietly. “I do not think you can stay.” You were about to angrily protest, but Toriel shushed you. “You may always visit me, however. Come knock at the door and we can talk for however long you need to.”

You wanted to argue, but her solution really seemed for the best. You hugged her tightly one last time before she opened the door, and then closed it and locked it the moment you were out.

You were met with a hug, and surprisingly? Tears. Undyne was _crying_ as she hugged you. “I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” You hugged her back, and although you wanted to cry, you refused to. Both of them had probably already heard what you said over the cameras.

Well, it would only be news to Sans, though. When you stayed the night with Undyne, you had confided in her. She didn’t know about the surface that much, but you had told her more than anyone else. You told her about the whippings and cuts and your awful parents. You thought about how you hadn’t slept in almost two days. You were tired, looking back on it.

“Bye Mom,” you said, as Undyne carried you off.

“Goodbye, my child. Tell Frisk they may also come back here.”

“Okay.”

Sans walked silently next to Undyne and you, and then he finally said, “you okay?” confirming that he had heard what you said (to you at least).

Anger flashed through you. “I’m good,” you said, grinning at him, laughing a bit. You were acting genuinely happy. Note _acting_. If he was going to find out secrets over cameras, then he wasn’t getting confided in.

He have you a sad look. “look, i didn’t mean to hear--”

“You still heard,” you said flatly, angry at him again. The same day you forgave him, ironically. “It doesn’t change you still heard. And I’m sure Undyne and Alphys heard, too?”

“undyne didn’t…” Sans seemed to recoil, looking very upset.

“Great. I’m staying at her place again then.”

“___, look, i’m sorry, i really didn’t mean to--”

“That doesn’t _matter you assho_ \--”

“OKAY.” Undyne set you down, looking at you sternly, surprising you. You quickly recovered and put a face of pure rage right back on. “LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? HE COULDN’T HAVE HELPED IT---”

“BULLSHIT!” you yelled at her. “WAS THERE A REASON THEY NEEDED TO HEAR WHAT WAS BEING SAID?! NO!”

“CALM THE HELL DOWN!” Undyne grabbed your arm as you tried to run away, and you whipped around at her.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME, UNDYNE!” you shrieked, swatting her hand away.

“CALM DOWN!” she retorted.

“____, take a breath--”

You were about to do something that there was no going back from.

“Undyne, let go of me,” you said coldly.

“Are you calm?”

“Let go of me or else.”

“Or else what?”

Well, it was clear she wasn’t going to let go of you. You mustered up all of your courage and strength, and pulled your fist back, punching her as hard as you could right in the boob.

Undyne groaned in pain and her grip loosened on your arm, just enough for you to bolt into the trees, panting.

You weren’t coming back.

You had wanted to die before, and now that Sans knew, he would _always_ know since he remembered resets. You felt a slight anguish as you heard the two call out for you.

You felt bad for exploding.

You were tired.

You were angry.

He couldn’t have helped hearing it, but you hated that he was snooping where he didn’t need to.

_“Well, maybe he wouldn’t have to snoop if you didn’t keep on disappearing.”_

_“Shut the fuck up Chara. I don’t have time for your bullshit.”_

_“I know what you’re gonna do.”_

_“Great. You can bring me a big bouquet of echo flowers saying ‘I knew it’ at my funeral.”_

_“Don’t do it. For your sake.”_

_“Hah._ ‘for my sake,’ _huh? That’s real funny. I’m proud of you.”_

_“At least say goodbye to Frisk this time.”_

_“... this… time?”_

_“Oh yeah, I forgot that your timeline memory is scattered. Undyne killed you when you guys were talking earlier. With that stupid echo flower. She sensed my presence and killed you. And then Frisk found you and killed themself to go back to their save point.”_

“ _WHAT?!”_ you screamed in real life, turning to stare at where you heard Chara’s voice, right behind you. No one was there, and you realized you gave away your position, hearing Undyne bolt towards you with a “NGAHHH”.

You ran further, hearing Sans’s voice extremely close to you just were yell, “____! come back, it’s not safe out there!”

_“Hehe. Yep. They drowned themself. HehehehahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!”_

You closed your eyes, and kept running. No. No. No. No. It didn’t happen. No. No. Nononono.

 _“EVen without my control you kill those you love! ISn’T THAT FUNNY?! JUST LIKE YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”_ the voice was laughing so hard that it became guttural screams, booming everywhere in your head.

“GET OUT!” you shrieked, and you ran into a tree face first, falling down in a heap, jumping to your feet, ignoring the spots in your vision and the tacky feeling of blood ooze down your face. And then you saw that you weren’t even in the snow anymore. You were in a black void, with a little girl, Frisk’s age, standing there, grinning at you. In her hand she held a knife.

“You get away from me,” you said raspily. “You get the fuck away from me right now.”

_“Hehe. How… ADORABLE.”_

“You can’t do shit to me, you’re just in my head!”

_“HAHAA! Do you really believe that that’s the case right now? I’m just a little hallucination? HAHAAAHAHA! Really sweet, ____, but I’m afraid that I’m here right now.”_

“No you AREN’T!” you screamed.

Chara rolled her eyes, shrugging. ANd the next thing you knew, she had dug the knife far into your abdomen. You gagged, falling over, clutching your stomach, bleeding profusely. _“Am I just a hallucination now?”_

Then you saw your soul, floating away to Chara, who had a huge grin on her face, before your hand shot out and grabbed it moments before her, crushing it in your hands. Chara let out a scream of fury, and everything went black.

Blackness. Somewhere, you could hear Sans and Undyne scream, and Frisk and Papyrus cry.

And then?

.

..

…

_“GGGGGGGRILLBY!” you shouted as you bursted though the door. The whole place looked at you in shock, but they quickly all laughed._

_“Hello, ____. It's been a little, hasn't it?” You ran over to him and jumped onto a bar stool, almost falling over but catching yourself at the last second._

_“You're telling me, man. But I was kinda healing.”_

_“Oh? What happened?”_

_“Meh, Undyne tried to kill me and she broke my leg into like, shreds in the process. BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE NOW WE'RE BESTIES AND I HAVE A KILLER SCAR ON MY LEG.” And to accentuate, you hit your fists on the bar excitedly._

_Grillby looked a little worried and pushed up his glasses. Then he chuckled. “Oh dear,” he said. The flames atop his head were crackling a bit, which you knew meant that he was either angry or amused. You guessed amusement was the case this time around._

_“It's awesome,” you assured Grillby, nodding to yourself._

_The flames crackled a bit more, you could swear for a moment you saw a smile, but you decided you were imagining it. “I believe you,” said Grillby in his soft voice, chuckling again. Grillby then suddenly dropped his voice down to a murmur, and asked, “Have the nightmares improved any?”_

_You stiffened, then wrinkled your nose a bit. “Not really,” you muttered. “I think they’ve been getting worse. Ever since I’ve been with Alphys, there’s been this one dream that’s been happening over and over. I can’t ever remember it, and Alphys wasn’t able to help me remember it either, even with her machines and psychology books.”_

_“You cannot remember any of it?”_

_“Well…” A little flash of memory rushed to you. A knife positioned at your stomach, and you ripped it across… Wincing, you covered your stomach with your hand. “One.”_

_“Do you wish to talk about it?” You thought for a moment. Grillby already knew about your dreams of killing everyone, and you found out from him that Sans had told him about the resets. Grillby also knew about Chara, although not by name..._

_But Grillby knew nothing of your past from the Surface. Those were the secrets no one else could know, the deepest, darkest ones. The reason why you constantly faked smiles and amusement and happiness and hope. The reason your eyes almost always looked empty and emotionless. The reason you were covered in scars and always had to wear long sleeves and a turtleneck sweater. That reminded you. You had to mend your sweater. It was your favorite one you owned, and it reminded you of the nice woman from the hospital who gave it to you, who you had become friends with, but hadn’t been able to talk to because of your parents. You still remembered her phone number, but you were too scared to call her now. What would you say? What would you do? And then suddenly, you missed the woman. She had been only a few years older than you, and you had really hit it off with her._

_“___?” Grillby brought you back to reality, and you blinked at him in surprise, remembering his question._

_“Not… not this one.” You looked at your hands quietly. And then you bitterly thought about how the shirt you were wearing, even though it was your favorite color, didn’t hide your scars nearly well enough. You thought about when you first met Sans this timeline, how the whole first day you hadn’t worn your sweater. Had… had he seen them? The only reason you hadn’t worn anything was because you thought you wouldn’t meet anyone and become close to them. Anxiously, you tugged down on your sleeve, trying to cover your wrist better._

_Grillby noticed the tugging, but he said nothing, still looking at you quietly. “Are you alright?”_

_“I’m fine,” you said dully. Memories were popping up from your past, as they always did when you thought of the Surface. You wanted to go back to sleep so that you wouldn’t have to talk to anyone anymore. That was what you usually did. Checking your phone from Toriel, you looked at the time mournfully. 8:30 a.m. You scowled, shoving your phone back into your jean pocket roughly. “I need some time alone, I think. Later, Grillby.”_

_He waved at you, looking concerned still as you walked outside._

The moment you set foot outside, Sans grabbed you and hugged you tightly. You looked at him in shock, and blushing in confusion, you managed to say, “Errrr???” And then Sans grabbed your hand and quickly took a shortcut back to Undyne’s house. You stared at him like he was insane. “Did I miss something?” you asked him unsurely, just as Frisk began sobbing and ran and hugged you tightly as well, making Undyne and Pap also hug you. “GuYs??!??” you said, feeling worried. “You’re all acting like I died or something, what the HeLL--”

Frisk began to sob and you noticed Sans’s eyesockets were completely black. Undyne just looked uneasy, as though she was trying to remember something, and Papyrus looked around worried about everyone.

You immediately picked up Frisk and held them as they sobbed in your shoulder. They couldn’t even speak they were so distraught. “Guys, seriously, what’s going on?!” you were getting panicked.

Sans said nothing, nor did Undyne, and Papyrus just said, “THE SMALL HUMAN HAD A BAD DREAM!”

“I had a nightmare about you where you died and I told them all about it and it was so real and wwaHHHHHH!” Frisk sobbed even harder.

“Was that was this morning was about?” you asked them softly, them nodding into your shoulder. “Oh sweetie, I’m fine, see? Look at me. I’m perfectly okay. There’s nothing to worry about honey.”

***SANS**

____ kept consoling Frisk, and what they had said wasn’t the real truth, but that was the one Undyne and Pap knew, so that was the one I also had to go by. “they sent me a text about it,” I said when she looked at me questioningly, and she just nodded.

“Well, thanks for being worried guys, but I’m fine!”

_“I want to die.”_

_She was lying in a pool of her own blood, her soul crushed in her hand, mild black ooze spilling out of it. “c h a r a,” I said darkly._

“Sans?”

I blinked and looked up. Frisk had stopped crying, now they were just sitting in silence on ____’s shoulders. She smiled a little unsurely, and I looked at her eyes. Sad, empty eyes. “i need to talk to you,” i told her quietly.

“Okay?”

“alone.”

“..O..kay?”

We walked outside and the moment the door closed, she said, “So what actually happened?”

I stared at her. “what?”

“Frisk might have told the other two that lie, but the way you reacted when I walked out of Grillby’s is where their lie falls apart. If it really had just been a text, you wouldn’t have freaked out like that. So what actually happened?”

I looked down.

“... I died, didn’t I…? But… I don’t remember a reset?”

“the kid went back to a save point.”

“..Oh?”

“chara killed you. she’s hiding inside your soul,” I said immediately.

She stiffened up. “Chara killed me?”

“you went to visit your mom, but you went back inside the ruins. undyne and i got worried so we went looking there for you, and then you got mad at me again, and then got mad at undyne because she didn’t take your side, and then ran into the woods, where we heard you scream, and next thing we know, you’re in a pool of your own blood, holding shattered remains of your soul, with black ooze- that same ooze from before when chara was triggering all those memories-- dripping out of it.”

She stared. “Wow. Good thing you grabbed me, I guess. I was gonna go try to talk to Mom when I left Grillby’s.”

“yeah.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“you just did.”

“Well, I’m going to ask you something else.”

“okay.”

“What was I _that_ angry about?”

Uh oh. Lie or tell the truth? Lie or truth? “uhhhhhhhhh.”

“Promise I won’t be mad.”

“you were pretty furious last time,” I told her unsurely.

She furrowed her brow. “If I get mad, I won’t hold it against you. How about that?”

I paused. “i heard what you told her. your mom. over the cameras.”

“What’d I tell her?”

“you missed her, the nightmares were getting worse…”

She looked at me for a moment, before slowly saying, “Was that all?”

“yeah.”

She laughed to herself. “Wow, I hardcore overreacted. Maybe I needed a nap.”

I laughed a little too, shakily though.

“Sorry that happened to you Sans. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, either. The resets…. the deaths that must have happened..” Her face darkened. “Last timeline…” She smiled at me again, and lightly punched my shoulder. “So if you ever need to talk, come to me, okay? You’re one of my best friends I’ve ever had. And I’ve only known your for less than 2 months, right? Well, wait. Probably more like a few years for you. But a few weeks for me. But I mean, point still stands. I mean. Uhm. This didn’t come out how I wanted it to.”

I laughed for real, feeling much better, but still sick from what happened. “what can i say? i’m a… _bone_ -ified friend.”

***Y/N**

You shoved Sans. “The puns were better when there wasn’t very many of them,” you said, laughing. He grinned wider.

….

As the day passed, no one left you by yourself, and multiple times, Sans tried to figure out how to get the ooze inside your soul without making it shatter into a thousand pieces.

 _“Chara, can’t you fuck off?”_ you thought.

 _“What did I do?!”_ she asked bitterly.

 _“You killed me again,”_ you reminded her.

_“Part of me did.”_

_“What do you mean, part of you?”_

Chara laughed softly. _“I’ll tell you tonight.”_

Part of her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment about what you liked, what you didn't like, what I should specify, what I'm doing well, and a kudos if you liked it! Guys I know it might not seem like a lot on a bigger scale but almost 1000 people have read my story, which makes me cry in happiness! I've got 63 kudos, 6 bookmarks, I'm honestly so happy that people out there enjoy reading this and that people even HAVE read this. Have a great day guys!  
> (Poor reader is not having a good time)


	14. Brown Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys SO MUCH for your kinds words at my last chapter! I was feeling pretty shitty about it and I was thinking about deleting it and rewriting it but you guys made me feel so much better, it's so appreciated. I've been having a hard time recently for many reasons, but your comments really made my day. You guys actually gave me enough confidence to share this story with two of my best friends irl (hey Animeme, hey Bromo, love you guys), which is something that gave me WAY too much anxiety to do before. To sum it up, you guys have really been helping me through some tough times recently, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> (I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATES AND SCHOOL IS STARTING SOON SO THEY MAY BE EVEN LATER BUT DON'T GIVE UP ON ME OKAY THANKS)

“ _Okay, spill the beans. What does ‘part of you’ mean?”_ you asked Chara, stroking a sleeping Frisk’s hair. They were lying in your lap, cuddled up to you, holding your hand tightly.

“ _You need to be sleeping for me to show you,”_ responded Chara lazily.

“ _Uh, what?_ Hell nah _, last time I went to sleep with you on the brain, you gave me nightmares.”_

“ _The nightmares are the only way.”_ You narrowed your eyes at the response.

“ _Fffffffffffuck me.”_

“ _You aren’t my type.”_

“ _Nasty. You knew what I meant. If I fucking die, you’re in trouble.”_

“ _..... Ohhhhhkay. Just go to sleep already, you’re just irritating me now.”_

“ _Fuck off, I didn’t make you stay in my head.”_

Chara just grumbled, and you leaned back into the couch at Sans and Paps’s place, slowly drifting off.

You opened your eyes drowsily, and then looked down at yourself. You were a ghostly mist, and your hands were almost completely translucent.

“ _Finally.”_

You whirled around, to see Chara, looking at their nails, picking at them in disinterest.

“ _So. ‘Part of you?’ What does that mean?”_

“ _Hmph. Not even a ‘hello.’”_

“ _You didn’t exactly greet me the best, either. Now tell me!”_

“ _Ffffine. Although… I doubt you’ll believe me.”_

“ _What makes you say that?”_

“ _Maybe it’d be easier to show you.”_

“ _Wha--”_ Chara looked up at you, and you fell down in shock.

Chara’s face was the same as normal except for one key feature.

Instead of gleaming, malicious red eyes, there were sad, bitter, chocolate brown ones. They fondly reminded you of Frisk’s eyes, only much more bitter than Frisk’s eyes, which were constantly happy and shy.

“ _Your--- your eyes? Wha-- what?”_

Chara grinned, tucking some hair behind their ear. “ _When I died, many years ago, my soul split into two parts. My pacifist side--”_ She gestured to herself. “ _\--and my bloodthirsty side. I had killed myself so my brother could take my soul above ground, get the souls we needed, and free everyone. However….. I also wanted to go back up to the surface so I could_ kill _everyone from where I lived. So when my brother didn’t attack, I tried to take control, making the soul crack and separate from itself… with my brother’s soul cracking as well. If you’re wondering, it was my adoptive brother, a monster, so when I died, he absorbed my soul. Anyways… where was I?? OH yeah. Soul cracking. Well, the soul cracking weakened my brother, and the humans… seeing my brother with a dead human, they attacked him, bringing him to the brink of death. He would’ve died, too, if I hadn’t been holding our soul together with my bare hands. Which, is uh, painful, to say the least.”_ Chara grinned again, showing you her hands, which had numerous cuts, bruises, and scars coating the palms. “ _Turns out soul shards are like glass, only also pulsing and beating, like a heart. Like I said… painful. And just as my brother got back from the barrier, and got back into the throne room, he collapsed. And then, I let go of the soul, making it shatter. My brother turned to dust, and his dust spread across the flowers in the throne room. And I thought I was done for… and then I saw myself, with black ooze pouring and leaking out of my eyes and mouth. My doppleganger stared at me, and then grinned horribly. She called me ‘the pacifist freak,’ and then, she merged our broken soul shards together, sealing them with the same black ooze. However, we only had about half a soul, since some shards had turned to dust with my brother. We couldn’t exist, and she was more powerful than me. So she was dominant, and made me hide in the shadows of our shared soul, explaining that we had caused a rift that would change everyone’s future. So as each human fell, she tried to possess them, with no luck. However, I was growing stronger, and without her even realizing it, I disappeared. Then… Frisk fell down.”_

Your head hurt. This was a lot. This was too much.

“ _I joined them, and stuck with them their whole journey, becoming friends with them as they journeyed alone.”_

“ _Wait, alone?”_

“ _Yes. The very first timeline, you never made it Underground. Your father murdered you right before the abyss, and Frisk heard your screams.”_

“ _But-- but…”_

“ _You took longer to run. Although it was only a few seconds, they were precious.”_

You suddenly felt pain in your abdomen and back, like someone had stabbed you. Like a memory.

“ _They spoke little and never smiled. I always talked quite a bit, trying to keep their spirits up as much as I could. It was enough to protect them from my other half.”_

“ _I…. I….”_

“ _And then they reset, hiding a toolbox under your bed, which your father had moved a week before without your knowledge. And to their surprise, I was gone. And you remembered nothing. The two of you fell down together, and then I was able to greet Frisk. However, while they were gone, part of myself was taken back by my other side.”_

“ _Wait… then?”_

“ _Yes. I’m the half that was taken away from Frisk. you know, my mild possession of them is why they can hear.”_

“ _WHAT?”_

“ _Yep. It’s me that they talk to, making others think I’m just an imaginary friend. When in reality, I’m a ghost…”_ She smiled sadly.

“ _This is a lot.”_

“ _It is.”_

“ _So. How was I possessed? Have I been possessed this whole time? Through every timeline?”_

“ _No. See, you killed one person almost every single timeline. Nothing more. And each time, it was the same person. However the one you killed, gave my evil side more and more strength, where from before, your will was too strong to be taken over. After you killed that one person enough times, Frisk figured out what was going on, thanks to me telling them. They found out about the evil part of me, and tried to warn you away. You listened, and stopped yourself from killing. Yet, you gave in and killed someone else. Flowey. And with that, my other half had enough power to take over you. And the rest is history.”_

Your heart started thudding, and everything spun. You felt sick. “ _Who the fuck did I kill?!”_

Chara grinned sadly. “ _Who’s the only person you hate that much?’_

No.

You couldn’t have…

“ _How many times?”_ you asked weakly.

“ _I’ve lost count. I can’t go off based on how many timelines there are, since Frisk would sometimes spam the reset button.”_

“ _How long… have I been stuck in these resets?”_

“ _At least three years.”_

“ _Three years… I’ve… So many times... In three years…”_

“ _You need to know where we’re hiding.”_

“ _So…. many…..”_

“ _My evil is hiding in your soul. I’m hiding in your memories. The nightmares are unavoidable.”_

“ _Help…”_

“ _I’m afraid that I’ll have to remove parts of your memory again. It could ruin you, you know.”_

“ _Please…”_ And with that?

With that, the nightmares began again.

***Y/N**

“ _Sans?”_

_It was black._

_//“aRe yOu paSsiNg oUt aLrEadY?”//_

“ _Sans, babe?”_

_I was so cold._

_//“YoU aRe tHE faTe oF aLL monStErs.”//_

“ _Hey! Sans! Wake up!”_

_So terrified._

_//“iT’s onLy aNoTheR eXpeRimeNt, sAnS.”//_

“ _Babe!!”_

_I opened my eyes. Standing over me, was her. ____. She looked terrified, and was holding my arms tightly.. “Babe, are you okay? What’s wrong?”_

_I clutched my theoretical heart, hyperventilating from the memory. And big tears streamed down my face. “i--i--”_

“ _Baby?” she repeated, eyes, widening. “Sans, Sans, whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened? Were you having a nightmare?”_

_I started sobbing, shutting my eye sockets and sniffling and whimpering like a baby. He… he would have called me weak. Or, in another timeline, he would’ve calmed me down. I hugged her tightly, wailing into her shirt._

“ _Hey…. hey, you’re okay….” she said softly, hugging me back, rubbing my back gently. “Wanna talk about it?”_

“ _n-*sniff* no.” I cried harder._

“ _Hey… that’s okay, that’s okay…. You don’t have to. You don’t have to say a word about it, okay? Just… try to take deep breaths, okay? I’m right here, babe.”_

_I whimpered and kept whining, hugging her tighter. I felt safer in her arms, and the warmth radiating from her made me relax a little._

“ _Shh… sh…. I’m not leaving, okay? I’ll stay right here. You’re okay, Sansy.”_

“ _h-heh…” The tears wouldn’t stop, and the fear wasn’t subsiding much more than she had already gotten it to._

“ _Shh… you can cry for as long as you want, Sans. For as long as you need. Okay?”_

“ _o-okay…”_

“ _I love you, Sans. I’ll stay right here.”_

“ _... i love you, too. so much…”_

“ _I’m not gonna leave you.”_

_I was finally calming down._

“ _I’m not ever gonna hurt you.”_

“ _i won’t hurt you either, ___.”_

_She laughed softly. “I know babe.” I chuckled a bit. “I know…”_

_And then._

_Blue fire._

_Judgement hall._

_Memories._

“ _Sans…” She was standing in front of me, her arms covering her stomach._

“ _babe?”_

“ _I thought…”_

“ ____?!”_

_Her arms fell to her sides. And they showed a plethora of bones jutting out of it._

_I felt everything stop. And began to panic. The bones disappeared while I freaked out, and they made of gaping hole in their absence. A knife clattered to the floor from her hands._

_Behind her stood Chara._

_Smiling._

“ _no.”_

“ _You did it.”_

“ _no--”_

“ _You killed me.”_

“ ____, i didn’t want to--!”_

“ _I will never forgive you.”_

I shot up from my bed, feeling tears brim up at my eyesockets. I was breathing heavily and shakily, trying not to cry. “just… a dream. it’s only a dream. that’s not even how either of those went. i’m just paranoid. just paranoid.”

I took deep breaths, clutching my hoodie in my fist. Shakily, I put it on, and breathed slower.

Nothing more… than a dream…

I shook my head, and teleported to Grillby’s to talk to him.

***Y/N**

“ _Undyne! UNDYNE!” you were screaming at her in terror. Chara made your body smile as Undyne breathed heavily while kneeling._

_After only one hit…_

_Chara giggled as she walked away, with you screaming and sobbing uncontrollably._

“ _No.” Chara stopped abruptly, spinning around to see Undyne, crumbling and having her entire being change._

_Chara didn’t really listen to what Undyne was saying. She was too angry to listen to her speech, and you were too elated and shocked._

_Undyne the Undying was the first to kill you._

_Chara tried her best to fight and heal, but nobody could heal from a spear to the skull._

_Your body fell it its knees, and then slumped forwards, making the spear slide further into your brain and out of your skull entirely._

_Chara was furious, and the both of you were having a huge fight over Chara getting to the “continue” button. You screamed at her, trying to hold her back as you struggled to get to the reset button. Chara was viiolently struggling, but they were still suffering from the injury. You let go of them and jumped towards the reset button, only to be stopped by a huge black splodge of ooze._

_*Continue’_

  


_And then?_

_You killed your best friend._

_You wwatched as she melted._

_You watched as Chara danced in the dust of her._

_Danced on Undyne’s corpse._

  


_And then you were standing in front of Papyrus and Frisk, both looking at you. “Come here, Frisk,” you said coldly and flatly. Frisk reluctantly walked over to you._

_Papyrus gave a speech that Chara listened to in pure disgust and disinterest, and then when Pap was trying to spare you, she cruelly stopped._

“ _Go on, spare him then.”_

“ _R-Really?” Tears were streaming down your face._

_Chara quickly slashed the knife, decapitating Paps._

“ _Oops, did I say that? Heheheh!”_

_Your body collapsed as you took control for one painful moment, much to Chara’s shock._

“ _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” you screamed, grabbing either side of your head and screaming and screaming and screaming. Chara easily took back control, and you heard Frisk scream and sob and cry._

“ _W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING… B-BUT ST-STILL!! I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I-I PRomise…”_

_Chara walked over, smiling sadistically at PApyrus. “Fool.” She raised her foot over Pap’s head and stomped it in, making him turn to dust._

“ _Si-SIS! WHY! WHO ARE YOU? WHAT’D YOU DO WITH MY REAL SIS?” Chara turned._

“ _Hehe, I didn’t know your voice could get that loud, pathetic brat~”_

“ _WHERE IS SHE?” Frisk had so many tears falling._

“ _Well… I suppose… since all you’ll do now is cause trouble….” Frisk’s eyes widened, and they started backing up, knowing what was going to happen._

“ _HELP!” they screamed, starting to run._

_You were panicking, trying to restrain Chara. Her legs were rooted to the ground for several seconds, and for those few extra seconds you had control, you managed to scream, “FRISK, RUN! I CAN’T STOP HER!”_

_Chara kept trying to lunge towards the child, who stopped running to look at you. You didn’t know what they saw. They saw their sister with eyes flashing back from red to (e/c), full of anguish and pain._

_Your body crumpled, and suddenly, Chara regained control._

“ _I need to be more cautious, apparently, when you’re an emotional wreck…”_

_She looked at where Frisk was, and saw nothing. You felt grateful that they had ran, until…_

“ _Let my sister go!” Frisk said from behind you._

_Chara rolled her eyes and turned to them. “You’re such an idiot.” And without hesitation they drove the knife into Frisk’s abdomen._

  


You shot up from the couch, hyperventilating, trying not to scream, falling to your knees as you slid off the couch, feeling tears well up in the corners of your eyes a drip to the ground. Frisk had moved out of your arms and was sleeping on the other side of the couch deeply. You held your heart, trying in despair to make it stop pounding as you sobbed quietly. Staggering to your feet, you left the house, shooting Frisk a quick text where you were.

As you stumbled out the door, you shut it as quietly as you could, and then ran to Grillby’s.

As you neared the door to the familiar pub, you thought about the fact that there were two Chara’s, like a split-personality case, only split-persons. You slammed open the door, feeling the overwhelming panic rage through you, barely paying attention to your surroundings.

You were expecting, _maybe_ , that Grillby’s ddaughter would be awake. You were _not_ expecting an upset looking Sans sitting on a barstool, however.

He stared at you in disbelief, as did Grillby, since this was your most dramatic entrance to date. You kinda stared at them, feeling anxiety start to arise. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Sans. It was more like you didn’t want to add more problems to the ones that he already had. You broke out of the initial surprise first, and quickly slammed the door and bolted to behind the pub before Sans or Grillby could see you again.

You really didn’t want to tell Sans that you had a nightmare about chopping off his brother’s head, killing your best friend, and killing your only family.

And looking back on it, you didn’t want to tell Grillbz that shit either.

WHY WERE YOU SO IMPULSIVE?

You really didn’t know.

“_____?” Sans yelled. You went as mute as you could.

“_____, please come out!” Grillby.

Fuck that shit. Hell no were you leaving. Sans had seen you as a wreck before, and you weren’t really keen on letting him see you like that again.

“____, we can see your footprints, ya know.”

.

..

…

 _Fuck :)_ , you thought, putting your face in the snow to hide your face and make it look like your face was just really cold instead of weepy.

“____, are you alright?”

“yo, ____. what happened?”

You heard the crunching of the snow as their footsteps neared you, and you just kept your face in the snow. It felt like it was burning, and it was starting to go numb. you just laid down completely and began to roll away from your two friends, not really feeling up to confrontation but also not really wanting to walk.

“____, what the shit are you doing.”

“Err…. ____?”

You kept rolling. Maybe if you were lucky, you would die from hypothermia. And then you could avoid this awkwardness. “Leave me alone to suffer,” you said, trying to keep your voice from breaking. And failing really bad.

There was a sudden warmth and you felt yourself being lifted from the ground, and you saw that Grillby was holding you and walking back into the restaurant.

You pouted, still sniffling, and noticed that Grillby’s face was very red. _Wtf?_ you thought, narrowing your eyes. Was he blushing? What?

You really hoped not. You only thought of Grillby as a friend. You weren’t really interested in anyone. Welll….

 _No,_ you thought firmly. _Sans is also just my friend. Just a friend. Yes._

You sounded very convincing to yourself, and contented, you muttered, “I can walk by myself.”

Grillby set you down, and you wrapped your now very cold arms around yourself (why were you so stupid???) and walked into the pub. You hopped on a barstool and slammed your head on the bar.

“____, jesus, calm down, you’re gonna hurt yourself!”

“Ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdaksnfklsnfawiokcx.”

“what.”

“_____, why were you weeping?”

You looked a little sourly at Grillby. “Nightmare. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sans and Grillby carefully looked at you, as if suspicious you would implode. “are ya sure you don’t, kid?”

“It was about last timeline, okay?! I don’t wanna talk about that shit.”

“_____, i wasn’t accusing you--”

“I know,” you said flatly. “Look, I’m just kinda bitter, okay?”

“Alright. ____, I wouldn’t usually suggest this, but since you’re so tense, would you like some alcohol?”

You eyed Grillby suspiciously. “I thought you said--”

“I lied, preferring to try to keep you as sober as possible when you weren’t thinking things through.”

You thought for about five seconds. Were you gonna be mad? Were you gonna yell? “Some beer would be nice, thanks,” you said. Being angry wasn’t going to get you anywhere.

As soon as Grillby left, Sans turned to you. “hey, kiddo, was it the same dream as before?”

“Sorta,” you answered, picking at you nails, still shivering from rolling in the snow. “Why are you here, anyway?”

“mm. same as you.”

“About the last timeline?”

He stiffened, pausing. “sorta,” he relied finally, parroting your words earlier back to you.

“What’s that mean?” you asked, wrinkling your nose.

“could ask the same of you.”

“It was last timeline, but more detailed.” Uncomfortable silence.

“oh.”

“Mhm.”

“it was… not what actually happened from the last timeline. but set in that timeline.” You could tell he didn’t want to talk about it, so you dropped it. However, you noticed his pupils had disappeared as they had before when he was angry or upset sometimes.

Still, you wondered what happened in Sans’s dream. It was obvious he was leaving some other stuff from it out. You doubted it had all been from the last timeline, even.

“Here you go,” said Grillby softly, putting some beer in a glass in front of you. It wasn’t any brand that you recognized, which surprised you, since your parents drank pretty much anything and everything with alcohol in it. “It’s a monster brew.”

“Ah,” you replied, poking it with your pinky, before pulling it closer to you. “Why do you guys have it anyways? You can’t get drunk off it or anything.”

“to monsters, it’s kinda like water or milk.”

“... I guess that makes sense.” You downed the glass of beer in one swig, and set the glass on the table. You were irritated that it wasn’t very strong, but other than that, you were grateful to Grillby. “Thanks.”

Grillby merely nodded, then walked over and sat to the free stool next to you.

***SANS**

Wherever Chara was, I was going to fucking kill them.

Giving her the fucking nightmares again, making her cry and shriek. “ _It was like last timeline, but more detailed.”_ I didn’t say much about it, but there was a sinking feeling that she had a nightmare about me killing her. Like the one I had.

I blinked a few times, hearing my name. _____ was looking at me with an odd expression.

“hm?”

She rolled her eyes and huffed in slight annoyance. “I said I was gonna get fries. You gonna get anything?”

“oh. nah, i should go back home and try to go back to sleep. and you can put the fries on my tab if you want.”

“It's okay, I've got some money. Later.”

“g'night.” I slid off the stool and shuffled to the door before teleporting back to my room, collapsing on the bed face-first with a long groan. Despite being extremely tired, the nightmare still had me wide awake, and even though Grillby's advice helped some, it didn't help a lot. Unusual, sure, but this dream wasn't exactly one I could necessarily be comforted out of. I looked around my room to find something to help occupy my time until the morning.

***Y/N**

“How much money is on Sans's tab, anyways?” you asked as you shoved a fry into your mouth.

Grillby grinned. Or at least, it seemed like he did. With the flames constantly crackling and flickering on his face, you couldn't really tell. He rested one elbow on the bar and shook his head. “Quite a bit, let's just say.”

You ate another fry, thinking. “But how much though?”

“994,705 G,” said Grillby pleasantly. You choked on your fries, and turned to him wide-eyed.

“ _What?_ Seriously? Like, legit?”

“As I said, it is quite a bit.”

“Has he ever paid for _anything_ here?”

“Occasionally. Most recently, he gave me 10 G to start paying off his tab.”

“PFFFFFFFFFFFT, that's like, NOTHING compared to the tab itself.” You were glad that you weren't talking about your nightmare. You just were really not in the mood.

“It is not much. However, since Sans is my close friend, he technically eats here free. You could as welll, as I've said before....”

“You'll lose money if I do that. It's fine, I wouldn't eat if I didn't have enough money to pay.”

Grillby scanned you. “I suppose. By the way...” The flame around his face went more red than usual. “I was wondering if--”

“Hey Dad!” chirped someone behind you. A girl in a school uniform stood there. She was made of flame, like her fatherr, only it was green. And also unlike Grillby, she had coal for eyes. “Hey, ____.”

Grillby stood up, pushing up his glasses. “Why exactly are you out so late, Fyr?”

The girl's happy demeanor dropped. “I lost track of time while I was studying. Sorry.”

Grillby looked mildly annoyed still, and was about to tell her off some more, but you interjected. “Hey, she's sorry. Just check in with her next time. Call her home.”

He looked back at you, and then sighed. “Fyr, go to your room. We'll talk more tomorrow.” The girl scampered off to the fire exit (where her and her father's rooms were).

“Well, I'd probably better get going as well. Frisk's gonna have a fit if they wake up and I'm not there. I'll come by tomorrow, okay?”

Grillby looked disappointed, but you two said your goodbyes and you left 20 G on the table for your fries and drink.

Snowdin was really cold, you thought sourly as you walked outside. It was snowing and wind was blowing around like it was inside Satan's ass (you were mad and so your comparisons were less than ideal). Your hair was probably going to be so tangled that Undyne would be able lose her entire kit of weapons in it.”

“How is there even weather out here anyways? We're underground, for Christ's sake.”

You could imagine Sans's smug expression if you asked him that. _“magic,”_ he would tell you.

“Magic is an asshole,” you grumbled.

When you opened the door, you kicked off your shoes, and took off the sweater that Emma's sister had given you. You were wearing a better undershirt now. It was a gray tank top that fit around your figure snugly. Then you sped walked over to the couch, reaching under it and pulling out a box of clothes, mainly consisting of sweaters, jeans, and socks. You grabbed a black sweater and started putting it on, trying to find the neck part of the turtleneck sweater. That was the biggest drawback of only wearing sweaters. You couldn't tell apart the neck from the arms 88% of the time. At least they were warm and hid your scars nicely. Those two benefits made it worth it.

“ _I'm sorry about your parents, they sound like bad people.... “_

“ _They are. I never want to see them again.”_

You were taken aback when Chara materialized in front of you. Her brown eyes looked at you sadly. You just sat next to Frisk and put them in your lap. They were still sleeping. Her eyes glided over to them, and she sighed. _“I don't want to see mine again either. My human ones. But thankfully, they're probably dead by now.”_ Then her face hardened, and her eyes went emotionless and empty, like how yours tended to be. _“Especially my mother. He ruined her. And then she went and made herself even worse.”_

“ _Same with me_ ,” you thought, relaxing back into the couch. _“My mom promised me something. It was the only promise. And she broke it. Even though my dad was the one that usually hit us, she was the one that seemed to enjoy it more. And she'd always set him on us.”_

“ _My mother murdered my father when I was eight. We lived in a house nearby where yours used to be. She used to tell me how pretty my eyes were, when we were alone. She'd say they were a 'honey brown with just a hint of maroon in them.' And that she loved them. But after my dad was killed, she showed her true self. And she tried to kill me too. I ran away and lived in the woods for two days, and then fell into the Underground.”_

“ _On purpose, I'm sure.”_

“ _....”_ Chara fell silent, sighing miserably. _  
_

“ _You don't have to answer that. I understand what it's like.”_

“ _Thanks.”_

The girl stayed quiet. _“I keep having to erase some of your memories, and I hhate it.”_

You shrugged. You still remembered part of what she had told you. About the two parts of her. _“It's okay.”_

Tears ran down her cheeks, which surprised you. She looked so much like Frisk, but more feminine and with bigger eyes and rosier cheeks. And paler. _“Hey, don't cry, hey... come here.”_

Chara floated over to you, you pulled her ghostly form towards you. It was hella cold when she sat on your lap, but you hugged her close anyways, like how you were with Frisk.

She was so much like them, really.

  


And her bad half reminded you of yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, comments are welcome! And boy.... reader can be kinda moody. poor sans.  
> BUT IT'S OKAY I MEAN SHE HAS GOOD REASONS  
> (ALSO DOES ANYONE HAVE PREDICTIONS FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? IS CHARA LYING? ARE YOU IN TROUBLE? IF BROWN-EYED CHARA CAN MANIFEST CAN RED-EYE CHARA? TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS IT'S SO AMAZING)


	15. Move In?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really long chapter for you guys bc i love you allllll (80 KUDOS 43 COMMENTS 9 BOOKMARKS OMG I LOVE YOU ALL ;u; ) ANYWAYS I HOPE TO BE UPDATING MORE OFTEN WITH SCHOOL BUT YOOU REALLY NEVER KNOW SO I'M GOING TO TRY TO AT LEAAST BE ON THE SAME-ISH SCHEDULE AS BEFORE (about once a month [i think])  
> ANYWAYS THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME IT MEANS SO MUCH TBH  
> I KNOW THAT OTHER STORIES ARE MORE POPULAR OR WHATEVER BUT HONESTLY I COULDNT CARE LESS AS LONG AS YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING READING THIS  
> I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND IF I DIDN'T RESPOND TO A COMMENT, I'M SORRY  
> I WASN'T GETTING EMAILS FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT I'LL TRY TO RESPOND TO THEM SOON  
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH ENJOY

“ _HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA!” The dust of all your friends surrounded you. Then there were flashes of yourself grinning widely with your teeth showing, holding a knife with blood coated in it, cackling in loud booms, running lopsided as you slashed the blade down. Then you stabbed people, although it was seen like a scratched disc, getting stuck and rewinding a little with some stabbings._

_Blood splatted on your face, and you giggled even more shrilly, running forwards, crushing bones beneath your feet with loud cracks and crunches. You dodged the bones flying towards your face, laughing hysterically, with deeps calls of, “papyrus?!” echoing around you. Turquoise flame surrounded you, and suddenly goat skulls surrounded you, opening their mouths and blasting out blinding beams of magic towards you, to which you blocked them with your knife and black ooze. Your (e/c) eyes flashed red as the same ooze began to leak out of your eyes and out of your mouth. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HA-HAHA-HAH-HAHA-HA-AAAAAA-HA-HAA-HAAAAAA!” Blue bones flew through your chests, along with white ones, but you paid them no mind. “HHAAHahahahaHAHAHaHaaHahhaHAahHA!”_

_Blood. Dust. Insane laughter. Blue. Bones. Crunch, crunch, snap, crack._

_And the the black ooze began to surround you, and a pile of it worked itself upwards into the shape of a man with a big crack on the right side of his face, from his eye to his forehead. It was like a skull without a nose, and slightly smoother. His right eye was sloped downwards slightly, and much like another skeleton you knew, he had white pinpricks for eyes. Although one was significantly bigger than the other. His left eye was normal, except for the crack connecting it to the corner of his freakish smile._

_He spoke in strange garbles, and was dressed in a white turtleneck sweater with black robes covering the rest of him. His hands had giant holes in the palms, and as he spoke, they took different positions._

_Sign language._

_You read his hands, which said, “Human, there is a demon within you. Despite the good part of this demon, the sadistic is significantly stronger. If you do not expel this demon by the end of the week, I shall visit you in the physical world. This is your warning.”_

You woke up with a jolt. Frisk groaned in your arms, and you sighed. You'd woken them up. Dammit.

“Sis?”

“Right here sweetie. Sorry for waking you up.”

“Nightmare?”

“Yep.”

“Can you remember it?”

You frowned, trying to think. _“It was just another one about your parents,”_ said Chara reassuringly to you. She had gone back into your head it seemed. You wondered when she left your lap.

“Just Mom and Dad,” you said slowly.

Frisk dropped the subject and slid out of your lap. “Oh. Okay. Let's get breakfast.”

As you and Frisk ate cereal, you spoke little.

The day was fairly boring, and you dropped by Grillby's around 10 to ask him what he was going to say, but he shrugged it off as unimportant. You chatted with him a little too, but eventually got  a call from Frisk that they wanted you to come back and so you left. Frisk wanted to play tag with you, and you obliged, but after about an hour, had to stop from the aching back that you had. Your back was sore from the couch, and so you kept having to stretch and pop it, especially after rough housing with Frisk. Papyrus came back home luckily, and so he and Frisk went off to patrol and most likely play more tag.

You hung out with Undyne and Alphys at lunchtime, with little to do. Well, the two showed you lots of anime. And since Undyne was there, some of it was kinda gory anime. Undyne was feeling very chatty, because she wouldn’t stop bugging you.

“DUDE! Dude, okay. Who’s the best character in Mew Mew Kissy Cutie?” Undyne spouted, holding a plushie from said anime.

You weren’t sure why she was asking you this since the anime you were watching was most _certainly_ nothing like Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. You guessed it had been because that was the anime you were watching before. “Uhhhhh, I’d go with--”

“WAIT NO DON’T ANSWER THAT, IT’S TOO OBVIOUS. RIGHT ALPHYS?”

“R-Right!” Alphys was blushing furiously as Undyne grabbed her in a hug.

“EXACTLY! FUHUHUHUHUH!!” Undyne let go of the poor dinosaur.

“O-oh, b-by the way, I w-was meaning to a-ask. H-how’s l-living with P-Paps and S-S-Sans?”

You shrugged. In the show, the friend that the main character was talking to over the phone was crushed by the elevator. The main character recoiled from his phone in shock, and two of his classmates were standing behind him. It wasn’t as bad as the first death, at least. A girl was running down the stairs with an umbrella , and she slipped and the umbrella impaled her through the neck. **_(((((((A/N: KUDOS TO YOU IF YOU KNOW WHAT ANIME THIS IS)))))))_ ** “It’s good. I’ve been sleeping on the couch, though, so I guess that’s not so great.”

“WHAT??????!?” Undyne was staring at you in shock.

“Er, it’s not that big of a deal… Like, I was planning to move out when I got more money, just because I feel like I’m taking advantage of their hospitality, but you know…”

Undyne scoffed in disbelief and the three of you continued watching the anime. You were liking the girl with the eyepatch best so far, you decided.

After watching up to episode 5 of the anime, you told Alphys and Undyne that you were going to get going.

Then, as you were leaving the lab, you spotted Sans sleeping at his station right by Hotland. You snorted softly to yourself, before walking over to him and gently poking him between the eye sockets. He furrowed his browbones together, then peeked up at you. “hola.”

“What's going on, Bonehead?” you asked, smiling a little. His presence did make you feel a little better, if you were being honest, but you weren't going to tell him that.

“was trying to sleep, since i'm on a break.”

“Pfft. When are you not on a break?”

He smirked lazily and yawned. “surprising as it may be, i do make quite a bit of money. most goes towards rent, but, ya know.”

“Does any of it go to your tab?”

“ehhhhhhh, maybe a teeny bit.”

You rolled your eyes, and hopped up onto the station, leaning back while you sat. A vulkin came over while you kept teasing Sans, and asked for a hotdog.

Sans pulled out a hotcat instead. The vulkin made a squeak noise, and took it in its mouth, waddling away.

“40 g made,” Sans said, pocketing the gold.

“You’re overpriced, Sansy,” you said tauntingly.

“i think i'm not charging enough.”

“No one will have enough money to buy anything from you,” you scoffed.

“i will.”

You laughed, and unbeknownst to you, Sans blushed a little, happy that you were feeling better and that he was at least helping a little. “That wouldn't be very good for your business.”

“heh, maybe not.”

You kept chatting to Sans, but by now it was mostly small talk now.

“Did you fall back asleep?” you asked casually as Sans handed off another hotcat.

“yep. though, it seems like you weren’t so lucky.”

“What? How can you tell?”

Sans poked you in between the eyes. “you’ve got some serious eye bags there, kiddo.”

You looked at him in confusion, whipping out your phone and turning the camera so it faced you.

A slightly grumpy, blushing human looked back at you. And sure enough, she had large bags under her eyes. Part of you wondered why no one had mentioned it before. “Well, I guess I was dead tired,” you said, grinning at him as you put away your phone.

Sans chuckled. “i said the same thing when i got home.”

Rolling your eyes, you replied, “I’m not surprised. You usually look tired.”

“rude.”

“I’m not being mean, I’m being honest!”

Sans poked you in the side playfully, making you shriek. “honest, schmonest.”

You grinned. “Is skelly upset by the truth?”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, scoffing. “i’m not upset by anything.”

“Psh. Lies, lies, lies.”

“oh yeah? then what upsets me?”

 _“Us killing everyone you ever loved,”_ said Chara.

 _“Dude, no. Shut up.”_ Chara materialized behind Sans, who was looking at you expectantly. Her brown eyes gleamed.

_“It’s true, though.”_

_“Bro. That’s too far.”_ You cleared your throat, ignoring Chara’s insistence to tell Sans what she had said. “Grillby running out of ketchup,” you told Sans slyly. Chara made an annoyed groan at what you said.

“we don’t even talk about that shit,” said Sans, with Chara rolling her eyes behind him. Some sweat appeared on his skull. “that’s scary.”

“Hah! Knew it. You’re spooked.”

A few more customers came by asking for hot dogs. Sans this time, graciously gave them hot dogs instead of hot cats. As he handed out the food, you got a phone call.

“Hello?”

“HUMIE!” screamed Undyne, making you throw your phone from your face in shock. “HUMIE! HEY!” Your ears were ringing, and you clutched your heart, trying to recover from what was basically a jumpscare.

After taking a deep breath, you picked up your phone gingerly, holding it further away from your face. "WHAT?!” you hollered into the phone, with the same ferocity that Undyne had used.

“COME TO MY HOUSE!” she screamed.

“WHY?!”  
“IT’S A SURPRISE! MOVE YOUR ASS AND STOP TALKING TO SANS!”

“HOW’D YOU KNOW I WAS WITH SANS?! AND WHAT’S THE POINT OF GOING IF YOU AREN’T THERE?”

“I AM THERE!”  
“I DIDN’T SEE YOU LEAVE THE LAB!”  
“I TOOK A BOAT!”  
“OH!”

“YEAH!! SO COME OVER!”

“STILL DOESN’T EXPLAIN HOW YOU KNEW WHERE I WAS!”

“ALPHYS TOLD ME!” You had a small moment thinking a little sourly about Alphys telling Undyne about your location, even though she really did nothing wrong.

“DUDE, I’LL COME OVER LATER!” You could feel people to start staring at you, and you blushed and thought about the fact that Sans might also be staring. “BYE BESTIE!” And before Undyne could respond, you hung up and shut down your phone to avoid further embarrassment.

When you turned around, Sans was not staring, but a few other people were. Great. Thanks Undyne.

 _“What do you think she even wanted to show you?_ ” asked Chara, picking at her nails. You shrugged, walking back to Sans, talking to him a little more, trying to move past the phone call, when…

“NGAHHHHHHHH! YOU’RE COMING TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW, IT’S IMPORTANT!” You spun around, and Undyne threw you over her shoulder and sprinted towards Waterfall.

“PUT ME DOWN!” you shrieked, feeling humiliated.

“NO! I RAN ALL THE WAY HERE AND YOU’RE COMING WITH ME TO THE HOUSE!”

“later, ____,” Sans said, as you were whisked away. You put your hands over your face.

Next thing you knew, Undyne ripped her door off the hinges practically chucked you into her house.

“WHYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?” you groaned, sitting up from the floor as she panicked while fixing the door back on.

“SHUT UP AND COME OVER HERE!” Undyne said, walking to her room.

You grumbled as you got up, walking over to Undyne’s room. She hadn’t let you in there before. In curiousity, you followed her. And DAMN, her room was giant. She had two beds (why does she need two?), piles and piles of anime, a T.V., a couch, a giant fish dresser, and many trophies, weapons, and training equipment. “Fuck, your room is ginormous.”

“Exactly,” agreed Undyne. You stared at her like she was crazy, noticing another door.

“Oh, where does that go?” you asked, opening the door. Oh.

“It’s to the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I figured that out when I opened the door. Why’re you showing me your room? Was this all to watch more anime, because if so, I swear to god, if that’s the reason you embarrassed the hell out of me---”

“I want you to move in.”

Wait.

 _“What?!”_ Chara sounded upset. She popped up in front of Undyne, staring. Chara looked back at you and floated over.

“Wait, whoa, what?”

“Dude, you’re sleeping on a couch. Let me help you out.”

“Listen, Undies--” Undyne made a face at her nickname (understandably) “--as kind as that is, we’ve really only known each other for a little bit--”

“____, you’re really one of my closest friends now, despite how short it’s been that we have been friends and everything. I mean, hell, some of the shit you’ve told me I doubt you’ve told anyone else.”

“...That’s true, and you’re one of my best friends too, but I’d feel so guilty--”

“BRUH, I BOUGHT A BED FOR YOU. WITH ONE OF THOSE ADJUSTABLE MATTRESS THINGS. I wouldn’t have done that if I really didn’t want you to move in. And I need a roomie, anyways, to help me not completely trash my house.”

You paused, thinking. “Can I talk to Frisk and the brothers about this first?”

Undyne huffed, and Chara rolled her eyes, fading away. “Yeah, I guess that’s a fair request. But seriously, please consider it. I really want you to move in,” she repeated again.

“Okay, okay, I will.” You felt a little touched, but also slightly worried.

“Thanks man.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m going to go to Snowdin, I think.”

“Want me to drop ya off?”

“Are you going to drop me off the same way you brought me here?”

“Duh.”

“Then hell no, thanks.”

Undyne laughed, and showed you out, practically throwing her door off it’s hinges (again). “Later, loser!” she hollered.

You rolled your eyes, waving goodbye as you left her home.

 _“Are you actually considering her offer?”_ Chara asked with mild distaste.

“Yeah, why not? It sounds great. Do you not like her or something?”

_“Not at all.”_

Laughing, you said, “Why? She’s great!”

_“She tried to kill you! LOTS OF TIMES!”_

Shrugging, you told her it was her duty as head of the royal guard.

Chara scoffed. _“Just don’t get yourself killed, idiot.”_

You laughed good-naturedly. Oddly, you enjoyed the brown eyed Chara’s presence. She was definitely obnoxious, but you were starting to think of her of somewhat of a younger sibling. You weren’t any less cautious, she _could_ still be lying, but you didn’t see how she could change eye colors if she was a ghost. It wasn’t like ghost eye contacts were a thing.

Actually.

Were they?

“Hey, are ghost eye contacts a thing?”

_“What? No! How dumb are you? First being friends with someone who keeps trying to kill you--”_

“Kept,” you interrupted.

_“Whatever. First you do that, and now, you ask if GHOST EYE CONTACTS ARE A THING?”_

“Geez Louise, I’m sorry. Forgive and forget.”

Chara looked at you grumpily, and faded from view. _“So stupid,”_ she muttered in your head.

You just rolled your eyes and kept walking to Snowdin. About thirty minutes later, when you left Waterfall and stepped out of the caves, you were hit with a blast of cold air.

“Goddamn, another one?” Shuffling through the snowstorm (even without weather and clouds, apparently), you sneezed, thinking about Undyne’s offer. Chara wasn’t saying anything, making you slightly sad, but you brushed it off.

It really was a great offer that Undyne had bestowed upon you. And you still felt bad for freeloading on Sans’s house.

“And Papyrus’s,” you reminded yourself aloud as you opened the door to the home in question.

“WHAT ABOUT PAPYRUS?!??!”

Smiling, you said, “He’s amazing.”

“NYEH! I AGREE!”

The tall skeleton picked you up and hugged you tightly, dropping you on the ground with a _plop_. “Hey Papy, is your brother back yet? And where’s Frisk?”

“MY BEST FRRRIEND--” (Why did he decide to rolll the ‘r’?) “--IS TAKING A NAP IN MY BED! AND SANS IS IN HIS ROOM DOING WHATEVER HE DOES IN HIS ROOM THAT MAKES THE RAINBOW-Y STUFF COME OUT!”

You made a face at this. “Rainbow-y stuff?” you repeated. Smiling a little, you thought about how you were kind of like an echo flower.

“YES. IT’S VERY ODD AND WHENEVER I GO IN THERE I CANNOT DECIPHER WHAT IT IS. FOR BEING SUCH A LAZYBONES, HE IS QUITE GOOD AT HIDING WHAT HE WANTS HIDDE--”

“yo.”

Papyrus was cut off by Sans’s voice coming from right behind you, and the two of you shrieked, you falling back into Sans’s arms, who seemed to be expecting such a reaction from you. You looked up, and you saw his face was blue, but that he had a big mischievous smile and he held you up from the ground.

Your face reddened. You got to your feet, trying to form a coherent sentence, but mainly getting out gibberish.

***SANS**

I smiled even wider. She was stuttering and blushing a lot, and although I was feeling a little embarrassed, her reaction was pretty cute.

Also funny.

“Y-you? I was- and- yo- You s-scared me!” Oh. A sentence. Surprising.

“pretty formal greeting, right?”

“I hate you,” she said, getting control over herself. She pushed me lightly, looking like she was trying to be stern but also like she wanted to smile.

“owch.”

“I think you’ll get over it.”

“SIS!” Lots of running footsteps, and then a small human leaping off the stairs and landing on their sister. She staggered, but laughed, hoisting them up like she was going to give them a piggy back ride.

“Hey sweetie,” she said, ruffling their hair. Then she turned her attention to the rest of us. “So it’s actually good that you’re all here. I have something I wanna talk to you guys about.”

“oh?”

“What is it, Sis?”

_____’s facial expression went nervous, and she went a little pale. “Uh. So remember when Undyne kinda unexpectedly whisked me away?”

I snorted. “how could i not?”

A dirty look was tossed my way before she started speaking again. “Well, yeah, there was a reason to all that, turns out. She, uh, wanted me to. Uh. Uhm.”

“WHAT DID UNDYNE WANT YOU TO DO?? YOU ARE NOT PROVIDING ADEQUATE INFORMATION, I AM AFRAID.”

Nervous laughter from _____. “seriously kid, what’s going on?”

“Well… she asked me to. Move in?”

“WHAT.”

“ _What?_ ”

“oh.” I looked at her. This happened most timelines, but not usually this early. “oh.”

“Yeah. And, you know, I think that maybe I should. I’m kinda stealing your couch and I’m not helping with rent or anything, and I’m, like, crowding you guys… But the thing is, Frisk, I don’t think you could come with me, sweetheart.”

“... Oh.”

“SO THE SMALL HUMAN WOULD STAY HERE?”

“Yeah. But I’m not sure that I’m okay with leaving with Frisk. No offense. Or anything.” She looked at Papyrus with a little bit of stern glance.

“NYEH! DO NOT WORRY! WE WILL TAKE GREAT CARE OF FRISK!”

She looked like she did not believe Paps. Which, to be fair, was not a horrible assumption on her part. “Well, it’s just, you know, Papy, Frisk needs to be safe. And… sometimes you’re a bit… rough-house-y.”

“I WILL BE EXTRA EXTRA CAREFUL.”

“i’ll keep an eye out on the kiddo too.”

____ was still a little unsure seeming. “I don’t know. I’ve never been away from Frisk like this before.”

“Siiissssssss, you’re not my mom.” And then ____ stiffened. Frisk’s eyes widened, and they looked like they remembered something.

“I might as well be,” she muttered. I looked at the two quizzically.

Why were humans so confusing?

“Anyways…” ___ started again, “It’s gonna be a big change and it’s a big decision.”

“listen kiddo. can i talk to ya alone for a second?”

She sighed. “Okay.”

We walked upstairs and I said, “look. you’ve gotten this offer other timelines. frisk’s stayed here. they’ve never gotten hurt because you left.”

Her eyes lit up a little. She gave a small half-smile. “Really?”

“yes, really. i won’t let the kid get hurt.”

“Promise?”

I hate promises. You never know if you can actually keep them and if you break them, you lose the other person’s trust.

“Sans?”

I guess I’ve made this promise before. “promise ya.”

She smiled and hugged me. “Thank you,” she said softly.

My skull heated up a little, and I hugged her back softly. “no problem.” She pulled away and walked downstairs, me just teleporting down.

“DID YOU COME TO A DECISION????”  
“Frisk, would you be okay with me leaving?” She looked a little worried still, but not the same as she had before. I chuckled a little when she saw me and looked in mild confusion, turning around and then peering at me again.

However, she shook it off as Frisk answered. “I’m sure sis. It’s gonna be great!”

She laughed softly. “Alright, I’ll call Undyne, tell her the consensus.”

***Y/N**

“Yo.”

“I’m gonna move in.”

“YES! I’M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW GET ALL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WE’RE PUTTING IT IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND YOU’RE MOVING YOUR HUMIE ASS IN RIGHT NOW THIS VERY MOMENT ALSO I’M OUTSIDE THE HOUSE ALREADY NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HURRY UP!!”

You looked out the window just as Undyne broke down the door. “WHERE’S YOUR STUFF? LET’S GO!”

“Let me get it. Jeez….” You got your stuff and handed it to Undyne, who sprinted off, and ten minutes later, came back panting empty handed.

“Let’s… *wheeze* go…”

“Dude, can I have like one more night here?”

Undyne groaned. “Ffffffine, fine. Okay. I’ll pick you up tomorrow mornin’.”

“Sounds good. Seeya then.”

A large portion of the rest of the night was spent at Grillby’s and watching movies on the only  TV there. “I’ll miss seeing you everyday,” said Grillby softly as you all got ready to leave.

“Aw, Grillbz, I’ll visit everyday. It’ll be like I never left.” You grinned and hugged Grillby, feeling the flames flicker against your skin.  You pulled away and waved, Grillby pushing up his glasses, before waving to you as well.

“bye grillby.”

“See you later, Sans.”

Papyrus had already fled out of the establishment holding Frisk above his head and screaming something about how he would always smell of grease and would smell greasier than Sans if he stayed too long. Sans had furrowed his brow bones a little and just finished up his ketchup at the words. “do i smell like grease?”

“Yes. All the time,” you said to Sans as you walked out of Grillby’s. He looked at you sternly.

“do i actually. if you’re lying, _oil_ put your blanket in the snow.”

You snorted. “That’s pretty _cold_ of you.”

“ _snow chill._ ”

“Oh. My god. You didn’t.”

“oh yes i did.”

“I hate you. You’re terrible.” You tried to fight your smile. You really did like puns, but it was also pretty fun to act like you hated them. Pap gave you the idea, but it was fun.

“please. you _know_ you can’t get enough of _this_ ,” Sans said, gesturing to himself. You pushed him, feeling like your face was on fire.

“I’ve had _plenty,_ thanks. Nerd.” You really hoped he didn’t think you had a crush on him. That would be embarrassing.

Sans just snorted and opened the door for you, and you quickly thanked him and walked out, him following behind you, letting the door slam lazily.

“HUMAN, YOU’RE VERY RED.”

“heh… wonder why,” Sans chuckled. At this, you shoved Sans, making him stagger and fall into the snow with a plop. “sore loser!”

“I lost _nothing!_ ”

_“... You two are gross.”_

You mentally thanked Chara, who just responded with something of a pout.

Sans stood up and dusted the snow off himself, and you, Frisk, and Papyrus all laughed at him, seeing how his hoodie was soaked. “You should’ve worn your parka,” Frisk giggled. He just smirked even wider, looking at you.

“Don’t you dare,” you warned, laughing more shrilly, seeing the look of revenge in Sans’s eyes.

“oh, watch me.”

“No!” you laughed, running in the other direction as Sans chased you, laughing evilly. “Stoooop!!” you shouted, swerving to run in the other direction when he suddenly appeared right in front of you.

“face your _pun_ ishment!”

“NooooOOo!” You turned to face Sans for half a second, only to see a certain skeleton right behind you by a few steps. “Sans GET AWAY--”

Sans had already tackled you into the snow, and you collapsed with him on top of you. “you lose,” he said triumphantly.

You wrinkled your nose, and then shoved a fistful of snow right in his face before bouncing to your feet and scrambling to get away, cackling. “THE JOKE’S ON YOU, BONEBAG!” You could hear Sans’s muffled laughter as he stood up and started running after you again. He was either sweating, soaked, or both, as you could see his forehead was gleaming. You shrieked. Sans was catching up fast, and seemed to be a lot faster than you remembered him ever being.

He ended up tackling you into the snow again, but this time, you didn’t bother attacking him again, seeing as you were soaked as HELL.

Once you got back home and dried off, you went to bed, exhausted. Frisk was sleeping next to you, silently. You blinked drowsily, feeling kinda anxious to move in with Undyne. You did trust her, but Chara’s point still stood that she had tried to kill you not a few days ago. But it was for monsters…

Which were still trapped because of you.

You couldn’t stop thinking about how it was all your fault that you were this way. It was your fault you didn’t trust anyone fully. Your fault your parents hated you. Your fault that Frisk would get hurt when your parents would attack them.

No, don’t think those things. People got angry if you did that.

Always.

No one wants to deal with the real you.

And when you tell them…. all they do is point out how much fun you seem to have around them, how much you laugh, how often you smile…

Things get easier to fake after a long time of faking them.

And were you not allowed to be sad and have small moments of humor? When did that become a fucking rule?

You slowly blinked again, feeling sleep finally overcome you.

 

_“I don’t want to fight him.”_

_“You don’t have a choice. Hehehehe.”_

_“Please stop, oh god.” PLease not him. Not him not him not him not him--_

_“Hehe.”_

_“Oh, god.” I don’t want this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry._

_Chara controlled your body like a puppet, dodging an onslaught of bones, only to be hit by a giant goat skull’s laser beam. She screamed in agony as the heat melted your skin and burned you and your soul to crisps. With your horribly low HP, you were hit by the beam much worse than you had previously._

_The skull and the beam disappeared, and you staggered for a few moments, before collapsing, dead._

_The last thing you saw was him, standing with a wide grin that was so terribly strained it looked like it was about to slip at any moment._

_You could remember the timeline just before this one, one where you would snuggle up to him, cry next to him, tell puns with him, hang out with him, talk about almost anything…_

_How did you end up here?_

_“I’m… sorry…. s a  n   s    .     .      .       ”_

 

Like you had before, you jolted up from your nightmare in a cold sweat. But this time, you couldn’t remember everything. Just horrible sadness and terror… and fighting Sans. You couldn’t remember, did you kill him? Bile threatened to escape your mouth, but you swallowed it down. You could feel yourself beginning cry softly, covering your mouth as to not wake Frisk. And you didn’t want to go to Grillby’s tonight, because you could hear the wind inside the house, and you weren’t up for pneumonia. You shakily got up and started heading for Sans’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (((for those wondering, the anime in question is called "Another," and it's one of my favorites. really love the story i recommend it if you arent too bothered by blood and gore and such it's real interesting)))  
> Kudos, comments, criticism, and praise, and none of the above are all welcome! Have a nice day guys!


	16. Oh No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK HOW FAST I GOT THIS CHAPTER UP!! I WANTED TO UPLOAD IT THE DAY AFTER THE LAST ONE BUT I HAD TO EDIT A LOT. AND I PROBABLY STILL WILL EDIT THIS AFTER IT COMES UP. SO JUST BE FOREWARNED. AND OMG THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING THIS I'M GONna crY 
> 
>  
> 
> ENJOY THE CHAPTER

_ I found the scarf first. I found the scarf and then I found the dust and the gore and blood everywhere. “paps… oh god. paps, what did you… oh god no. no. please, god no… no no no nonononononoNONONONO!” _

_ I held the scarf tightly in my hands, sobbing. I saw the kid’s body too. Barely recognizable. They’d been ripped apart, shredded like paper. I picked up a scrap of the sweater that had been torn and held it with the scarf. “nooo,” I moaned, burying my face in the scarf. “oh, god……” _

_ And then it hit me. If Paps and the kid were here, where was ____…? _

_ “____!” I shouted, wrapping the scarf around my neck and shoving the scrap of cloth into my pocket. _

_ And then I saw her. _

_ She was covered in blood, and now I realized that the sweater she was wearing  _ was _ covered in dust. I hadn’t wanted it to be true, so I ignored it. Maybe if I hadn’t… _

_ She grinned sadistically and turned around, walking into Waterfall, as I watched her in horror. _

_ The red eyes stayed imprinted in my memory, with maniacal laughter. _

_ “no….. N O !” _

I woke up panting, sweat dripping from my skull along with tears. I didn’t want to be back there, at that moment. I shook violently, holding myself in a hug. It was easy to stop crying, but the sweat was still there. The terror and the horrible memory kept me in a state of terrible paranoia, so it only made sense that I almost blasted my door from existence when there was many speedy knocks on it.

“Sans?” ____ said softly through the door. “... Knock, knock…”

I breathed out, trying to make my eye go back to a white dot, convincing myself I was safe and that so was everyone else. “who’s there?” i asked with a bit of force.

“T-tibia.”

“tibia who?”

“I want tibia with you right now.”

My smile softened. “door’s unlocked,” I told her, quickly unlocking it with my magic.

She slowly opened the door, and when I saw her, my smile strained again. Her beautiful , captivating eyes were big and tearful, and her lip was quivering. I sat up, looking worried. “whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened kiddo?”

She quickly shut the door, then walked halfway towards me, before the tears began to spill out and she fell to her knees, covering her mouth with her hands. I stumbled towards her, kneeling next to the poor girl, rubbing her back. “shhh… hey, hey…. what happened?”

She moaned, crying harder. “I’m sorry,” she croaked. “N-Nightmare, I-I don’t remember m-much, bu-but I remember f-fighting y-you and i-if I k-k-killed you I would n-never f-forgive m-myself!”

I kinda froze. She thought that she killed…

_ me? _

And then I was taken by surprise again when she grabbed me in a hug and buried her face in my shoulder, bawling. Her hands were shaking violently, and she was scooting as close to me as possible, nestling herself into my arms, holding me tight. Tears threatened to start spilling from my eyesockets too, but I stopped myself, and I hugged her back, soothing her as best I could. I tried my best to not think about that smile, the blood, the dust…

***Y/N**

You were acting like a child, desperately trying to cuddle Sans, needing the physical contact.

“hey, it wasn’t you, remember? none of that was ya.  not even a little. you’re okay, no one’s hurt, i’ve got ya right here, alright? i’m not leaving you.”

“B-but I killed--”

“nobody. nobody, alright?  _ you _ didn’t hurt anyone, _____.”

“But they died either way! And if it was you too, oh g _ od, _ ” you groaned. “I-I killed Frisk and Papyrus and Undyne and Mom and who even fucking knows who else I fucking sliced to  _ shreds--” _

“____! that wasn’t you, sweetie!”

There was a short pause at ‘sweetie,’ but you quickly moved on. “But it  _ was _ my body, and I saw me do it, oh g-godddd….”

Sans let go of you and pulled you to your feet, and once you got to them, he set you on his bed, sitting next to you, rubbing your back, and then hugging you gently.

You sniffled, you hugged him back, nuzzling your head into his shoulder again. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“kid, shh, sh, it’s okay, hey, shh…..” Sans held you a bit tighter, rocking you back and forth in his arms. You hiccuped and hugged Sans tighter, to which he laughed softly. “you’re okay. i’m gonna stay here as long as you need me, okay?”

“O-okay,” you sniffed.

Sans comforted you for at least an hour as you cried, and sniffed about how you were sorry, and shook with sadness and fear. Your eyes grew heavy from weeping, and eventually you drifted to sleep, Sans still holding you.

***SANS**

I couldn’t really think of a time that ____ had fallen asleep in my room, crying, when we weren’t dating.

Chara really fucked up the timeline. Honestly, it was a little interesting, despite its disgusting and grotesque torture that it caused all of us.

All of the timelines-- for so long-- were so similar. Each varied in its own ways, sure, but never this drastically. I liked not having the constant feeling of deja vu hanging over me, seeing the same things happen over and over no matter what I did.

She sighed in her sleep, and snuggled herself closer into me. I shut my eye sockets, running my phalanges from her hair. Still dozing, she nuzzled closer to me. I could see the tear stains running down her cheeks, and felt a pang for her.

How the hell did she deserve this? It clearly tore her up to no limits, and she was constantly scared and in danger. She was always slightly paranoid, and I knew she had her secrets (she always blew off my questions about the surface previously) but I still couldn’t find a reason she deserved the torment of the genocide.

And then, out of nowhere, Chara’s words came back to me.  _ “Has she ever told you about her scars?” _

I stiffened slightly, and peered at the arm wrapped around me. The sleeve had been pushed up slightly, and now I could clearly see at least one of said scars Chara spoke about. I couldn’t believe I had never noticed it before; she’d fallen asleep in my arms when we were dating before, just like she had now. I guessed I had never been looking for them before, but now that’d I’d seen it, I couldn’t stop staring in shock. It was a deep scar, and it was clear what it was from.

Now there were even more questions, and this one wasn’t one I could ask her about. She’d never trust me with anything again, and would definitely get pissed off. More sadness plagued me, thinking about how much pain she must actually be in. I thought about if it were Papyrus in her spot, and the pain grew. Was there a time when she was like Papyrus? Happy and oblivious? Unhurt…?

I moved as carefully as possible, pulling her sleeve over her scar, just like she must always have done.

The thought kept me awake for the rest of the night.

Or so I thought, until I felt ____ shaking me awake.

“Get up, lazybones. Undyne’s coming over in five, and you’re gonna be awake for it, whether you like it or not.” She was smiling at me, and for a second, I felt like doing the same (more than usual, at least) until I remembered what I’d seen. I looked past her smile and at her eyes, trying to read them. I felt chills down my spine as her stunning eyes remained blank, almost completely void of emotion. Were they always like that, like her scars, or did they light up sometimes when she was truly happy? “Uh, Sans? You good?”

“oh, um, fine. you?”

She laughed brightly. “No more nightmares,” she chirped. I saw her yank her sleeve of her shirt down further, hiding her scar that I had discovered during the night, and then yanked the other sleeve down.

I could only assume that the other arm had more scars, and again, began to ask how I’d never noticed before. How many did she even have? I’d seen her in short sleeves before. Hell, I’d seen her  _ this _ timeline with short sleeves.

“Oi, Sans!”

I blinked, looking at ____, who looked confused and mildly annoyed. “oh, sorry, what?”

“I asked if you slept well. And you just stared at me…?”

Oh, shit tm . I didn’t really want to answer the question (too lazy) so I decided to spout out what I spouted out  **best...**

“sorry, the cold musta got to me.”

(“What?” she asked, wrinkling her nose.)

“guess you could say…”

(“Oh no. Please n--”)

“i’m a  _ numbskull _ .”

**.... puns.**

She snorted, then covered her mouth. “What does a skeleton serve at a restaurant?”

“pft, spaghetti and ketchup?”

“No. Spare ribs.”

I chuckled. “nice one.”

“I thought so. Anyways, you coming downstairs or not?”

“yeah. i’ll meet ya downstairs.”

***Y/N**

You shot Sans a thumbs up, before bolting out of his room to get to the lower level first.

Big surprise, Sans was there first, on the couch, sleeping (HOW).

_ Somehow _ .

And you got there just as Undyne  _ broke the door down. _

Good job, Undyne. You’ve done it again.

_ “All of your friends are dumb,” _ informed Chara, materializing before you, looking at Sans, Undyne, and the tall skeleton Papyrus (who had just exploded out of the kitchen. Literally. There was fire.).

While you and Frisk extinguished the fire, Undyne shouted about how Papyrus must have been making some pretty fantastic spaghetti for the amount of fire that happened. Sans kept napping. After the fire was taken care of, though, you woke up Sans to inform him rather grimly that he would be needing to remodel his kitchen. Sans looked confused, then disappeared right in front of you. You jumped back, sputtering. 

You should’ve known that bonebag could teleport.

You could hear a half groan, half laugh from the kitchen, belonging to Sans. “again, bro?”

“IT WAS WORTH IT. MY SPAGHETTI MAY HAVE BEEN LOST IN THE CAUSE, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT FOR THE MEMORY AND SACRIFICE.”

You had to admit, you were looking forward to not having to extinguish fires. Undyne’s house had been fire-proofed, after all.

Actually, that wasn’t all so comforting when you thought about it.

As much as you cared for Sans, Frisk, and Papyrus, you had no interest in remodeling a kitchen, so you waved bye to the brothers, and gave Frisk a hug and kiss before leaving with Undyne to her house.

“We should throw a party to welcome you in, dude!” Undyne said excitedly once the two of you made quite some distance between yourselves and the skelebros’ home.

“We don’t need to,” you told her uncomfortably, pulling down your shirt nonchalantly as the two of you walked.

“But I want to, though,” she insisted. “It’s gonna be the bestest!”

“... Is that a word?”

“Of course it is.”

“I think you’re wrong, Undies.”

“Don’t call me Undies! And we’re throwing the party. I already bought all the decorations and also the cake.”

“We’re not cooking it?” you inquired, laughing.

Undyne snorted. “As much as of a great cook I am, I thought we’d better not.”

“At least your kitchen’s fireproof.” The two of you walked past Sans’s sentry station within Waterfall, still chatting.

“Anyways, I’ll let you get settled in, but then once your stuff’s the way you want it, you gotta go. The party decorations are a surprise.”

“Greaaaat,” you groaned. “If they’re all tiny humans…”

“They’re not!” your friend protested. “... Not most of them!”

You sighed. “Can’t ask for more than that from you, I guess.”

“Nope,” Undyne agreed, as she took her hair out of its ponytail, and then retying it so her bangs fell across her eyepatch sightly.

You got to Undyne’s house about twenty minutes later, and quickly shoved your clothes in her one empty dresser drawer before heading out.

You shoved your hands into your pockets and sighed, walking towards the direction of Hotland, but not actually going to Hotland. You walked slowly as you approached the statue. It reminded you somewhat of Toriel, but it was unclear who it was supposed to look like. The face of the statue was hidden in shadow, and it seemed like it once held something in its arms, that had since crumbled. It looked like once, the monster had been holding someone. It stood, being rained on, likely eroding the statue further. You’d seen it before, but never had done something about the steady trickle of rain, or water, or whatever it was that you should call it that always hit the stonework.

An umbrella in hand (a peach one from the umbrella holder), you set it against the statue so that it protected it from rain, and sat back, watching it with a half-smile. A captivatingly exquisite music box tune began to play from the statue, and you heard Chara’s voice within your head suddenly, yet very softly and sadly,  _ “It’s His theme.” _

“Whose?”

_ “... Never mind.” _

You brushed Chara off. “What do you think it used to be holding?”

_ “... I… don’t know.” _

You looked up towards your forehead, since Chara hadn’t materialized as she usually did, and that the sound came from inside your head. But again, you brushed it off. You weren’t one to nag. “Okay.” Shutting your eyes softly, you relaxed backwards, before you heard a small gasp from right in front of you.

You wrinkled your nose and opened your eyes, only to become face-to-face with none other than Flowey. He stared at you, mouth agape. Finally, he spoke. “ _ You, _ ” he sneered.

“What do you want?” you asked sourly, jumping to your feet and standing guard.

“Well, I heard the music, so I came to  _ investigate _ … and I saw the umbrella and stupid you sitting right there.”

“Then leave!” you told him, keeping your voice steady and stern even though it wanted to shake a little.

“Now that you’re here, though… I might as well get some things off my chest.” You didn’t respond, and stared at him cautiously. “I don’t want to talk to  _ you,  _ though. I want Chara.”

You stiffened. “Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! I know she’s there. You weren’t the one in control last time. Chara was. I want to speak to Chara.”

You didn’t know Flowey could remember timelines, and you didn’t appreciate that he could, either.  _ “Tell him I don’t want to talk right now.” _

“She says she doesn’t want to talk right now,” you said with gritted teeth.

Flowey’s face grew angry for a second, but it quickly went back to a fake smile. “That’s fine. I guess there’s one thing I could ask you, then.”

He wasn’t going to give in. “What?”

“How’d it feel…  _ killing  _ someone of your  _ own free will?” _

Again, you grew tense. “Chara was in control. Not me,” you told him tersely.

“No, not last timeline! The one before that.” The blank look you gave Flowey in response made him sneer. “Oh, so you don’t remember? Typical.”

“Wait, what??” Confusion.

“Well… I’ll be seeing you. Chara.” Then Flowey popped into the ground and disappeared.

“What?” you repeated, anxiously. “Did I…?”

_ “No,” _ said Chara.  _ “He’s just trying to get to you.” _

“O...kay…” You glanced at the statue one last time, before walking away. You wanted to get somewhere where there were more witnesses. You weren’t fond of being shot to death by Flowey if he decided to come back. You walked over to Hotland, and talked to Alphys, but she said she had to go to the bathroom, which you knew was her excuse for anxiety and that she would not be returning for a while. It occurred to you that you had never gone farther than the lab before. The curiosity got the better of you, and you started walking around Hotland. There were weird conveyor belts, weird steam things that were pushing air out so powerfully that it could send you to to other little things of land, and puzzles that you had fun solving. They were weird little shooter things and a little control pad to move blocks to solve the puzzle. You got in lots of battles too, which did take a toll on you, but you had fun nonetheless. Eventually you got to a room that was pitch black. You stood in it, confused, looking around, searching for a light switch. Eventually your fingers hit something, and you flicked the switch on.

There was a big robotic box standing with a kitchen apron on, as well as a stupid chef’s hat.

You recognized him.

“Oh no,” you said.

“OH YES!” Mettaton yelled in a glamorous, monotone voice.

“Oh  _ no _ ,” you repeated, turning around and attempting to get out, only to be stopped by a force field previously invisible to your eyes.

_ “RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!” _ Chara screamed at you.

You angrily yelled at her mentally that you were trying your best, but that you were not exactly fruitful in options. Chara made a snide comment back to you, which you ignored.

“HELLO BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! WELCOME TO THE UNDERGROUND’S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!!!” There was cheesy fake applause, and a sign came up in cursive, inscribed “Cooking with a Killer Robot”.

This was going to be  _ fun _ .

“PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE’VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE’RE GOING TO BE MAKING… A CAKE! MY RADIANT ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS.”

You were going to what now.

“EVERYONE GIVE THEM A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!” More fake applause, and confetti rained down upon you.

As you picked some pink confetti out of your hair, you said, “Look, Mettaton, big fan, but I’ve got a thing to go to--”

“OH I WILL BE THERE, DO NOT WORRY! NOW GET THE INGREDIENTS!”

Making a face, you bitterly got the ingredients, and set them on the table roughly. “‘Kay, done, now I’m gonna g--”

“PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE’VE GOT ALL THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE A CAKE!  **MILK, SUGAR, EGGS…** OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT!”

“What now?” you groaned.

“HOW COULD I FORGET!!! WE’RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!” Mettaton pulled out a chainsaw, and you took many steps back.

“WHOA!!!” you shouted, backing up.

“... A HUMAN SOUL!!!!” Mm-mn. Nope. You were safer with Flowey.

“Well, nice meeting you, but I’mma leave--”

Mettaton began to charge at you with the chainsaw, before there was a phone ring. He stopped, then pulled out his phone (pink, glittery, and covered in Mettaton stickers). “HELLO…? I’M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE.”

“W-wait a second!!!” Alphys, thank god, you thought,  breathing again. “Couldn’t you make a… couldn’t you use a… couldn’t you make a substitution in the recipe?!”

Alphys was your new favorite person you knew.

“... A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, USE A DIFFERENT, NON HUMAN INGREDIENT? … WHY?”

Fuck. :)

“Uhh, what if someone’s… …. Vegan?”

“...VEGAN.”

“Uh well I mean--”

“THAT’S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS!! ACTUALLY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPTION RIGHT HERE!!! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE! A CAN OF WHICH… IS JUST OVER ON THAT COUNTER!!!” You looked over, and sure enough, there was a suspicious can alone on a single counter. “WELL, DARLING? WHY DON’T YOU GO GET IT?” You looked at him untrusting, but then bolted to get the can.

uNfOrTuNaTeLy, the counter shot a billion miles up into the sky. “WHY!” you shrieked.

Mettaton spouted out some more dialogue, and Alphys told you about your phone working as a jetpack. Once you got the fucking substitute back (all for NOTHING, you thought angrily), Mettaton spouted some more cheesy villain dialogue, but once you got back to the ground, instead of letting you leave, he decided to  _ quiz _ you.

Of

course.

You answered a few, with Alphys whispering the answers on the phone to you.

“NOW, FOR OUR FINAL QUESTION!” Mettaton blabbed. “WOULD YOU SMOOCH A GHOST?”

You looked at him, and Alphys just unhelpfully said, “Uh.”

You looked at the four answers before you. Each said “yes.”

“Well, based on my options, I’ve gotta say ye--”

Mettaton’s phone obnoxiously rang again. How many times was this scrap metal going to interrupt you? “HELLO? …. OH  _ REALLY?  _ THANK YOU, BEAUTY! I’LL BE SURE TO RECOORDINATE!”

“What?” you asked irritatedly.

“WE JUST HAD A CALLER INFORM ME I WAS ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION! WHAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASKING WAS…

WOULD YOU SMOOCH A  _ SKELETON?” _

Oh no.

“Oh no.”

_ “Oh no.” _

“O-oh no.”

“SPECIFICALLY, ACCORDING TO MY CALLER HERE…

WOULD YOU SMOOCH A SANS? *no idea who that is but whatever* WHAT’S YOUR ANSWER, DARLING?”

“Oh  _ no,” _ you said for what must have been the hundredth time. You had a feeling you knew who was on the phone. You would’ve heard Papyrus’s voice if it were him, and the only other active shipper was…

Frisk.

“NOW NOW DARLING! THIS IS OUR LAST QUESTION FOR TODAY!!!”

You looked at your options desperately.

  1. Yes
  2. No :(
  3. … Who’s Sans?
  4. HECK YEA!



“Oh no,” you muttered.

You could hear Alphys giggling on the other end, and you wanted to disappear. “I-I ship it,” she told you.

“Great,” you told her.

Then, suddenly... your phone began ringing again. Alphys had hung up on hearing your answer to her, and the caller ID said “Undyne”.

“PUNK! IT’S TIME FOR THE PARTY! GET OVER HERE!”

Mettaton heard this, and pouting, he said, “We’ll just have to continue this later.”

“Can’t wait,” you told him flatly, and then bolted out of there, using your jetpack (which had not run out of battery as you’d thought).

The function broke right after you got to Waterfall, and you felt relieved that you’d gotten out of Hotland.

Hurtling to Undyne’s house, wheezing, you opened the door to see Undyne, Papyrus, Frisk, Alphys, Temmies (oh boy), Aaron (oh god no), Woshua (eh), and.. Sans. 

“HI NERD!” Undyne shouted. “SHE’S HERE!” Undyne fiercely blew one of those weird paper rollup things at you, it making a loud squeaking noise. Papyrus screamed hello, Frisk giggled and waved, hugging you, the tems just..well, they seemed to have noticed Aaron and left. Woshua followed them, screaming that everyone was unclean. Alphys timidly waved, and you realized she must have been at the party the whole time, which meant everyone had seen the show, which meant…

Oh no.

You saw Sans, looking a little smug, yet also embarrassed behind the rest of the guests.

O h  n o .

“Nice performance, sweetheart ;)” said Aaron, winking at you.

You made a face and scooted away. “...thanks.” you said coldly, trying to move away.

“Anyways, babe, what’s up ;)? You haven’t been returning my calls;( but at least you’re here now ;)”

“I never gave you my number,” you said stiffly, edging towards Sans.

“You should babe ;))”

“No, I’m okay,” you told him, and then immediately engaged in conversation with Sans. “How’re you, Sans?”

“pretty good,” Sans told you, shrugging. “they already ate all the cake. and by they i meant the tems. all of the cake. even the other one undyne tried to make from mtt’s tutorial.”

“Oh no.”

Sans’s grin widened. “oh yes.”

Sans relentlessly teased you for the rest of the night, as Aaron flirted with you continuously until Undyne kicked him out, while everyone else socialized.

“ALRIGHT, THE PARTY’S ALMOST OVER! THE LAST EVENT… IS TO WATCH A MOVIE! ROOMIE, YOU CHOOSE!”

You looked through movies and anime, but none of them seemed Frisk or Papyrus appropriate, so the two of them went home for bedtime. Sans came back a few minutes later after they had both gotten their bedtime stories.

You saw one movie, “Psycho,” but the knife on the front brought back bad memories. You chose “Indiana Jones” instead, not paying attention to the cover besides for the lack of knives. Undyne put it in, and you got a bag of cookies from the fridge, walking back.

You heard a whip crack from the television, and immediately, upon instinct, you collapsed to your knees, covering the back of your head with your hands, and screamed, “I’M SORRY!” Visions of your parents flashed through your mind. Undyne knew what was up, you knew. Or at least somewhat. She knew you had bad experiences with whips and knives, at least. You could see your dad beating you with a whip until your back was raw, your mom laughing and drinking beer in the background. You blinked, and you were back at Undyne’s house.

Oh shit.

***SANS**

I noticed that ____ skipped on the movie she always had chosen in past timelines, which I suspected was because of the use of knives within the movie. But she didn’t seem very interested  by the second movie she picked out, either. She went to grab a snack, and the main character pulled out his whip as she was coming back, and it made a loud  _ crack _ .

Everything else happened within moments. ____ practically threw the cookies across the room, and collapsed down into a crouching, cowering position, covering her neck and her head with her arms, and shrieked, “I’M SORRY!” Everyone stared at her in shock, and then she blinked a few times, slowly, and looked at us with big eyes.

“kid, are you okay?!” I asked, lifting her to her feet. She looked so upset.

“H-h-hey, what happened?” Alphys looked anxious, and seemed to be so scared to touch ___ that everytime she began to reach for ____, she recoiled violently.

“Okay, party’s over. You two should head home,” Undyne interjected.

“I’m okay,” ____ breathed. “Just startled me.”

I stared at her in disbelief. I knew she was a decent liar, but even she couldn’t lie her way out of this one. “____, what happened?” I repeated.

“Nothing, Sans.”

“we both know that’s not the truth. what happened to you before this?”

“Nothing, Sans!” Her teeth were clenched.

“kid--”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” she said flatly. Her face looked sad, humiliated, and pissed. “I’m just gonna go to bed. Goodnight guys.”

Undyne let her into her room, and I could hear them talking softly through the door, but I didn’t nag. The scars, again, were bleeding into my thoughts.

“W-we better go, Sans. They’re gonna get upset.”

Reluctantly, I agreed, and teleported Alphys back to the lab, before teleporting into my room, covering my forehead with a bony hand.

What  _ happened _ to her before she fell into the Underground?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, criticism, and kudos are welcome!  
> [Also shoutout to my friends reading this story (or the ones that know about it at least lol): Bromo, Animeme, and my Cinnamon Roll Son! Love all you guys!]


	17. no time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH new chapter. Thank you all so much for 99 kudos omg I'm so touched tbh, I can't believe that almost 100 of you like my story like thank you so so much. I know I don't update a lot or anything, and it's mainly because I have jsut started school again and am very very busy with it. I'm in honors courses and so I've had HEAPS of homework that I have been making my priority, since colleges will be looking at my grades and not my fanfiction. On top of this, my grandfather is visiting, and only visits about once or twice a year. And on top of that, it's been homecoming week, so again, i apologize. I plan to update around once a month, although potentially twice if i have the time. Thankk you for your patience, and I truly hope you'll continue reading. Although if my schedule is too inconsistent or slow for you, I hope you enjoy other fanfics out there that update more consistently and have the fanfic as a higher priority. This chapter will likely be edited since 99% of it was written at like 4 in the morning on a saturday. again thank you for reading and feel free to critique, leave kudos, and comment (all up to you!) Have a great day guys i love you all

Staring at the ceiling, you listened to Undyne’s droning snoring with occasional shouts. You were lying in your bed in bitter silence over what had happened. You couldn’t believe yourself and how  _ weak _ you acted. One of the  _ rules _ was that you could  _ never _ let anyone in. They would leave, or they would become pitiful or the same. You didn’t need that shit.

And another thing was that if it had just been Alphys and Undyne, it would have been okay. But something about Sans being there… maybe it was because he could remember everything. And as you thought about  _ that _ , it came to you that maybe you had never told him. What had Chara said? Five years? That meant that this could be the  _ first _ time he had ever seen you break down like this. Who knew that the littlest fucking changes could change e _ verything? _

Your phone’s screen flashed on, you frowned, and sat up in bed to look at it.

*sansy: hey

You stared at your phone, before powering off your phone and looking away from the device. No.

You couldn’t keep doing this.

Couldn’t keep faking a smile and faking it was okay.

Hah, who even knew what your parents were doing now? They were probably partying, the bastards. Or maybe they were freaking out because they couldn’t sell you for who know’s what (although you had a few very good and disgusting ideas). Serve those fuckers right. Both of them. They started all the fucked shit in your life. Not like the bullies at school or the other shit helped, though.

You hated them.

They ruined everything.

And even now, when you reflected on how your mother was before she was physically abusive, she constantly called you a waste of space, a mistake, and the reason  _ her _ life went to shit. Fuck her. Fuck both of them. They ruined it. All of it. Every last part of it.

You laid back into bed and drifted off in a fury.

...

You hadn’t spoken to anyone but Frisk and Undyne ever since the party, which was four days ago. Mostly you were sleeping, and ignoring Sans’s, Papyrus’s, and Alphys’s calls. That phone would buzz and buzz and buzz until you just turned it off. 

Grillby had been calling, too. You picked up, said a quick hello, and then hung up after a brief session of small talk. They all knew something was up now, and you  _ hated  _ it. Having people know that something  _ bad _ had happened to you just made them pity you. And you hated pity. Pity was for losers.

However, after being in a fish’s house for four days without leaving the home, the stench of sweaty warrior fish got pretty intense.

And that’s what brought you to where you were now.

You had gone back to Hotland, only to run into Mettaton twice more, one as a news reporter, and then in a play thing (?).  Alphys saved your ass both times, but you didn’t say anything to her, not forgetting about your breakdown and about what she saw. No one could know everything. That was a power strong enough to tear you apart.

Heh, not that you weren’t already a fucking wreck or anything.

Hm.

 

You’d been exploring Waterfall, as you enjoyed doing, when you saw something behind a waterfall. In interest, you walked through it, only to find a dusty tutu. You didn’t want to think about the dust on it, but the tutu wasn’t what interested you, anyways. What had caught your attention were the rocks jutting out in a perfect formation for climbing. It went a lot higher than you were expecting, honestly. And it was short at first, only about four Frisks tall, but you noticed a crack at the ceiling where the wall and ceiling connected. You scooted your ass through it, and crawled in a diagonal way upwards until you could see blue light again. Excited to get out of the cramped spot you were in, you army crawled until you burst out.

To find one echo flower and more rocks leading up.

You had groaned, but you went up anyways, forgetting completely to bring your phone with you. Unbeknownst to you, she was panicking and searching for you (you’d been gone for three hours).

And finally, _ finally, _ you reached the top. Which brought you to the present. There was a beautiful river that must have been that waterfall you walked through,  _ trees _ with glowing blue leaves and ebony bark, rocks of all colors, sizes, and shimmer, faintly teal glowing grass and mushrooms, and  _ flowers. _

The flowers caught your attention the most, if you were being honest. There were echo flowers, but also buttercups, something that looked like a cross of echo flowers, roses, and buttercups, moonflowers, and lilies. There was gold, white, pale pink, light blue, and cream colored flowers surrounding you in sweet scents.

Even then, though, there was a small field of echo flowers that you were drawn to.

But these echo flowers were  _ different. _

There were some in the normal blue, yeah, but there were hundreds that were gray and seemed wilted. A few red ones were fairly prominent as well. 

“Chara…? What… are these?”

A small child with brown eyes appeared in front of you.  _ “What? You didn’t read about echo flowers with Toriel?” _

“No,” you said. “Sans mentioned them, but he didn’t talk about  _ these.” _

_ “Of course he didn’t. People don’t like to talk about these ones,” _ Chara told you. She sighed, looking over the  field.  _ “Gray echo flowers are ones where the last words spoken to them were of suicide.” _

You gaped at her. “What?”

_ “You heard me. In monster culture, they don’t write suicide notes. They tell the flowers. And once… it is carried out, the flower dies and only echoes the words of the victim, forever. But the victim’s voice is lost. So the flowers say the words in hushed whispers with no voice but their own.” _

“That doesn’t make sense,” you told her, freaked out.

_ “Listen to one. You’ll see what I mean.” _

As you slightly begrudgingly bent over, and tapped one of the petals of a dead flower, you understood what Chara meant. It had the same voice as the one in the back of your head, definitely there, but with no tone or effects of its own. The flower’s voice echoed within your head, only saying,  _ “I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.” _

You looked over the field in horror. “But there’s so many,” you said, hushed.

_ “These ones don’t change after resets. They’re likely from Al---- one of your friends, and from last timeline.” _

You felt horrified. “That’s awful.”

_ “It’s better than the red ones,” _ Chara told you lowly.

“What are they?”

_ “They’re the same as the gray ones in a way. They only repeat the words of the last person who spoke to them. But they’re words of murder. Those ones… those are ones of people documenting their murders. And those ones… they keep their voice.” _

Okay, you were done. Bye. See you never. “I’m going.” you told Chara, feeling sick.

_ “You’ll come back. You always do. This is your special place. That giant tree over there is your favorite place in the Underground.” _

“I’m not coming back anytime soon.”

_ “...” _

And so you left. You hurt yourself too, scratching yourself up and shit. And you tumbled out of the crack and burst out of the waterfall, panting. 

“______! PLEASE ANSWER!”

“WHAT?!” you hollered to Undyne.

“OH THANK FUCK! WHERE THE SHIT ARE YOU? ARE YOU HURT?”   
“I’D BE LYING IF I SAID NO,” you said. “I GOT BRUISED AND SCRATCHED. AND--” you looked down at your shirt, where you had ripped the sleeve-- “AND GODDAMMIT I RIPPED ANOTHER SHIRT!”

Undyne barrelled out of the water reeds and pulled you in a tight hug. “WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?! YOU WERE GONE FOR FIVE HOURS! I CALLED ALPHYS AND SHE COULDN’T TRACK YOUR PHONE, CALLED PAPY AND FRISK AND THEY BOTH SAID THEY HADN’T HEARD FROM YOU, SANS AND GRILLBY, AND ALL THEY DID WAS FLIP THEIR SHIT AND GO ON A SEARCHING RAMPAGE FOR YOU, AND EVEN FUCKING METTATON COULDN’T FIND YOU WITH THE VIDEO FOOTAGE HE HAD SINCE ALPHYS’S CAMERAS WERE ALL DOWN!”

“I was just exploring,” you said in a little voice, “there’s no need to scream at me.”

“I WAS WORRIED, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE HUMIE!”

“Sorry,” you said softly.

Undyne’s face softened when you apologized. “I need to call everyone and tell ‘em you’re fine. Wait here.” She let go of you and dialed a number. “... Yeah. Yeah, I found her. She’s right here.” Undyne glanced at you. “... Yeah, a little, nothing serious though. I’m gonna call the skelebro household next. … Mhm. Thanks Alph. ….. ugh, and you too, Mettaton. Yeah. Later.”

“Sorry,” you said again.

“It’s fine, just don’t ever do that again, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Undyne called another number. “Hey Sans.”

***SANS**

“did you find her?” I gasped, holding up a finger to signify for Paps, Grillby, and the kid to stop looking for a second.

“Yeah. She’s right here. Said she was just exploring.”

“where are you two?”

“Waterfall. Right next to your station.”

“we’re on our way.” Undyne hung up, and I turned to the others. “she’s in waterfall, next to my station there. i can only take one of you with me when i teleport, so two of ya are gonna have to walk there.”

Grillby wiped his glasses, nodding. On normal days, I would’ve laughed at the melted snow trail he left behind. But now was serious. “I believe it would be most ethical to bring her young sibling, Frisk with you.”

“AGREED! GRILLBY AND I WILL RUN TO WATERFALL!”

“cool with ya, kid?”

Frisk nodded, half crying still. “alright. we’ll see you two there.” I held Frisk’s hand, and blipped into my Waterfall station. I was practicing not using doorways as teleporting stops, since it was starting to have a bad feeling surrounding it. And since this timeline was so different, I trusted my instincts and took the harder route of just teleporting without prior movement.

I panted, and shakily walked over to where I could hear Undyne and Frisk’s voices. Sure enough, there ____ was, bloody and bruised. ____ looked up and saw me, and suddenly look anxious.

“jesus, kid, what were you doing? undyne’s barely scratched the surface of what happened.”

The older human broke into a smile and giggled. I felt confused for a second, but then I realized the pun. Scratched. She was scratched all over.

“Nice one,” she said.

“Now isn’t the time for jokes that barely qualify as jokes,” Undyne said stonily. Frisk looked solemnly from ____’s arms, nodding.

I didn’t really care. This was the first I’d seen or heard from ____in over half a week. So I ignored them. “jeez, kid, you’re soaked. this was an unfor _ sea _ n turn of events.”

____ looked at me in confusion, mouthing my words. Her eyes lit up as she got it, and she laughed again. “Nice one again,” she told me.

“____!”

“HUMANN!!!!”

Paps gave the poor girl the tightest hug I think he’d ever given her, and Grillby hugged her worriedly. “You have not exactly visited anyone often, let alone everyday,” I heard him murmur into her ear.

She let out a soft, breathy laugh. “‘M sorry,” she said gently, hugging him tighter.

Jealousy twinged at my soul. At this point, I could tell that Grillby did not like ____ only platonically. There was more than just friendship. And I was starting to worry that ____ liked Grillbz in the same way. I couldn’t  _ blame _ her. Grillby was hotter (heh), more understanding, kinder, less clingy, and, well, taller than me. ____ was taller than me, and according to every romance movie I’d ever watched  _ ever, _ the guy was supposed to be taller than the girl. And old GB was tall. Like 6’2” tall. And I was not that tall. I was short. Like 5’1” at best short, and that was stretching it and also lying a little. It was stretching a stretch. It was a pulled muscle. And I didn’t have muscles, so it was even more bullshit.

____ pulled away from the hug and basically did what I was noticing was her norm more than it had been other timelines, which was blow everything off.

“I’m  _ fine, _ but thanks for worrying. I’ve just been being lazy recently.”

“why’d you leave the house?”

___ wrinkled her cute little nose, and furrowed her eyebrows. “It smelled like fishy Undyne sweat and burnt…  _ something _ .”

“I tried making a cake,” Undyne piped up. “Things didn’t go accordingly.”

“Why’d it smell like sulfur?”

“I may have mixed up some ingredients. Nothing big, nothing big. No need to worry, punk.”

____ remained unconvinced. “Right. So, I’m cooking for myself from now on.”

“Not a bad plan, ____-y.”  **(Note: if your name ends in an “ee” sound, pretend instead of the “ee” sound in your name, it was replaced with “oh”. {example- cathy= catho})** Undyne picked at her nails.

“Uhm, so what time  _ is _ it anyways?”

“Eleven thirty,” Grillby said, holding her hand in both of his gently. I felt anger coming on strong again, and had to clench my teeth together so hard i could feel legitimate pain.  _ He’s your friend, he’s your friend, and she can date whoever she likes. _ I looked away, fighting off the sinking feeling in my soul.

“A.M.?” ____ asked hopefully.

“No. It is nighttime.”

She groaned and took her hand from Grillby’s, and I felt some mild smugness. “Sorry  guys. I think I’ll just head off to bed, then.”

“kid. how’d you get hurt?”

She looked back at me, then down at herself. “Oh… this?”

“yes that.”

“I tripped and fell,” she laughed. “Don’t worry.”

“What’s your HP?” Undyne asked her.

_____ looked at Undyne and answered slowly, “I don’t know.”

Undyne sighed. “We’ll check when we get home, you punk. Later guys, the help was decent.”

“ _ DECENT?  _ NYEH! IT WAS THE BEST!”

“Sorry, Paps. It was THE BEST EVER! NGAHHHH!”

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON,” Papyrus said sheepishly.

“Fffffffffine, but next time I’ll get you good. ‘Night guys.”

“GOODNIGHT!”

“Goodnight Sis!”

“night kiddo.”

“Sweet dreams, ____. I hope you sleep well.”

Another twinge of jealousy. And then Undyne ran off with ____ underarm.

“i’ll take the kid and myself back home,” I said quickly and a little flatly, grabbing the kid and blipping off without another word.

***Y/N**

Undyne had forgotten about your soul, and was passed out in her bed snugly.

However, you?

You didn’t forget.

You knew you HP was going to be low.

You knew it was.

But…

But how did its maximum  _ decrease? _

5/10 HP.

Ten HP.

Ten, out of what used to be twenty.

You couldn’t understand why. You never heard about something like this.

You went to get a book on it, but you couldn’t find any. So you searched it on the Undernet.

MAXIMUM HP DECREASING?

Recently I checked out my soul and I found that the HP had decreased dramatically. ;^;  Originally, it had been at 1368   (“Holy fuck!” you whispered)  but now it is at 40. *o* I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find any reasons why? Please help >m<

ANSWER:

HP stands for HoPe, which is one thing that souls are made of. If your HP is dropping, you are losing hope. Now, for us monsters, that merely means if we were ever to be in a soul battle with a human (psh, as if), we would be extremely weak and likely to die. However, as long as you aren’t in battle with a human, you will be okay. See, in order to  _ take _ the soul of a human, their soul must be out of their body, otherwise it will be exceedingly difficult. But for Soul BAttles, both souls are present, even if they are not visible. Human attacks, while hitting the monster’s physical form, actually are in fact attacking their soul. This is why monsters (even our King!!) could be defeated by a human without much trouble in a way. Lucky for you though, tripping down stairs or stubbing your toe won’t detract from your hp! Same thing for normal battles, like the ones with your parents. You only recieve external injuries. Those can kill you too, yes, but only with brute power and force. This is the same for all monster souls. Hope this helped ya out

  
  


You stared at your phone screen, rereading the answer over and over. It didn’t make sense.

_ “Yes, it does. Soul Battles have both souls out. If a soul shatters, you die. If your external injuries are too much, you die. But not all fights are Soul Battles. Normal fights have souls tucked away and safe. They’re just like fistfights. But humans can lose HP just getting hurt normally because they lose motivation lots of times. Their max HP goes down when they begin to lose hope long term or permanently.” _

“So I’m losing hope then? That’s fucking dumb. I’m  _ fine.” _

_ “Please. I live in your head. I know when you’re lying. Admit it. You’re depressed.” _

“No I am not.”

_ “Liar liar.” _

“Shut  _ up.” _

_ “Fine. I’m not lying to myself at least.” _

“What’s gotten  _ into _ you?”

_ “Hahahaha. You think that brown eyes is the only one that can talk to you, dumbass?”  _ You froze, feeling your heartbeat race and panic seize you.  _ “Dumb bitch. I’m here just as much as your little friend who you consider family~ Hahahahaaaa. Wonder why she gets real quiet? It’s her, fighting me off.” _

You covered your ears and head. “Get out, get out, get out….”

_ “One more day until the scientist comes for you. Hehe. Have fun.” _

“What?”

But she was silent now.

You couldn’t breathe, the panic was taking over. Scientist? And your HP had dropped by exactly  _ half _ in, what, a day? Maybe a few days? Who the fuck was the scientist?  _ Alphys?  _ No way. She was your friend, she  _ saved you _ from Mettaton.  _ Three  _ times now! You began to hyperventilate, everything piling on top of each other and crushing you under the momentous weight of terror. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe. God, just  _ breathe. _

_ How the fuck do you breathe again? _

You loved you some good ol’ breakdowns. Everything was crushing you, and you stood up, staggering away, barely getting air in or out. You staggered around Waterfall like a drunk person, like that walk you knew all too well. Hobbling over to Sans’s sentry station (how long had you been walking for? Time didn’t seem to exist), you leaned on the counter and took a deep, rattling breath with effort.

You screamed as loud as you could, kicking everything around you, tearing at your hair and stomping around. You punched a wall as hard as you could, and hit a gemstone, cutting your knuckles. You didn’t stop, until both your hands were bloody and numb. Crying and bleeding, you kicked the wall as hard as you could, stubbing your toe. Fucking fantastic. No, really, that’s just  _ fine _ . You needed that. “THANKS!” you shrieked at the wall, which was spotted with your blood now. You screamed again, hitting your head against the wall hard, and then stumbling back, because  _ wow _ , you did not think that through. You fell on your butt, and then, with bleeding hands and a bleeding head, you said down and cried, feeling sorry for yourself. Eventually, you got to your feet, sniffing, and limped back to Undyne’s house. As you opened the door, you meekly walked to your room, where Undyne was still resting.

You sighed, and limped to the bathroom to wash your cuts and get disinfectant. Tip-toeing past Undyne, you opened the door to the bathroom just a crack and began to rinse out your cuts. You looked like a snivelling mess, with blood everywhere. Sighing, you opened the cabinet door to find… nothing. No disinfectant, antibiotics, hell, not even bandaids? What the shit?

Growling in irritation, you closed the door, thinking about what to do next. The cuts on your knuckles were nothing to worry about, but the gash on your head was not small, and you didn’t want your skin to rot off.

Then a lightbulb went off. Napstablook had medical supplies, and so you quickly headed over to their house.

You knocked a few times, with no answer. “Hey, Napstablook? Listen, I don’t mean to wake you, but I was wondering if I could borrow those medical supplies again? I hurt myself.”

“the door’s unlocked ,” came a gloomy voice.

You stepped in, seeing a bland and disintegrating interior with records at one end of the room.

There was the ghost. You smiled. “Hey Napsta, it’s been a while, huh? How are you?”

“i’m Okay. heard you guys partying a little while ago, but I’m not surprised undyne didn’t invite me. i don’t really matter or anything and i would only make things awkward…”

You frowned softly, trying not to relate as much as you wanted to. “It was just a little get-together, and don’t worry, I accidentally ended it early anyways!” You let out a short giggle. “But you should come to our next party, if we have one. I love hanging out with you.”

“really?”

“Yeah, you’re awesome!”

Napsta smiled a teeny bit, but then their face immediately fell slack. “let me get the stuff,” they said. A moment later they came back with medical supplies. “here you go, I don’t know how to do it though, sorry…”

“That’s alright,” you said. “Say, why do you even have this stuff anyways? You can’t get external injuries.”

“Alphys doesn’t think undyne would keep them in her house and she wants me to make sure that Undyne doesn’t get hurt, which makes sense i guess…….”

“Oh, that sounds right,” you said politely, dabbing some alcohol onto your forehead, hissing a bit as you put a bandaid on it. “Thank you so much, Blooky.” They blinked suddenly, looking close to tears. You noticed instantly, and said, “Oh my god, are you okay? Did I say something?”

“just remembered someone… it’s nothing big…. sorry… i’ll just go…”

“No, no, Napstablook, I’ll go, this is your house. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“okay…..”

Feeling mildly anxious again, you walked back to Undyne’s house, trying to ignore the pounding headache you had now. You walked into her house, and felt a bad pain of dizziness, with black and white spots clouding your vision so much that you couldn’t see. “Whoaaaa,” you mumbled, falling sideways. Your ears were ringing, and you suddenly felt tired; The black clouded your vision, and you felt yourself fall into the world of sleep.

_ “Bes^&#, w$ke *p.” _

_ “Hnng.” It was too early. Everything hurt. What were words? “Nno, go way.” _

_ “She’% wak@ing &p!” _

_ “Sttoppp,” you moaned, swatting hands away that were jabbing you. You barely remembered shit, and felt hungover. Did you have too much to drink? Bleakly you attempted to lift your heavy eyelids, and saw a blurry teal and red somethin, with a red an white something, next to a blue and white something, next to a purple and blue something. “Noo wwake upp.” _

_ “GET U*, H&%MAN!” _

_ “Nnnhg.” Everything began to focus, and you sat up, feeling the world violently spin. “Hurg!” You slapped a hand to your mouth, fighting the urge to vomit.  _

_ “Sis!” _

_ “Hi there,” you grumbled, hugging Frisk with one arm, blinking until the world came into focus. “I sat up too fast,” you groaned, feeling dizzy. “Does anyone have like aspirin or something?” You pulled yourself up and staggered to the bedroom, before remembering. “Oh yeah, we don’t, cuz you’re too  badass for anything that’s helpful!” you shouted from the bedroom, stumbling out of the bedroom and slamming the door with ferocity that Undyne would typically approve of.  Papyrus and Frisk looked at you fearfully, and now Undyne and Sans looked angry. Sans’s face was dark as hell, and his smile was more of a grimace. Undyne looked like she was about to beat the shit out of you, and was on alert. _

_ “HUMAN…? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES?” _

_ “What about my eyes?” you snapped, taking a step in the direction of the front door. Everything felt loose and fleeting. _

_ “chara.” Sans looked at you with the same cold anger. _

_ You , you felt confused. What about them? But your body apparently, had different ideas. There was a scoff. “What about me?” Then your body smiled in a terribly wide way, and you suddenly felt fear more than irritation. _

_ “Fight her, __! Don’t let her have control!” _

_ “I don’t want to be a puppet!”  you screamed internally. _

_ Chara kepy pulling the strings. “Remember me, Sansy? Or how about you, Undyne? Or….” --you turned to Frisk and Papyrus-- “Do you two remember?” The smile grew in a menacingly calm way, and you giggled. “Sans, remember when I stomped in your brother’s skull and stabbed little Frisk to  bits? ” You let out another shrill giggle. “Remember the  dust and blood? ” _

_ Sans grabbed your body with his magic and hurled your body against the wall so violently you felt every bone in your body break. _

_. _

.

.

You woke up from the ground screaming, flailing around. “LET ME THE FUCK GO!” you hollered at Chara, leaping to your feet and toppling down from the dizziness.

“WHAT’S WRONG?!” you heard Undyne scream in the other rooms, then suddenly a loud boom and then arms around you. “HEY, ____, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU? WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU IN BED AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?”

You blinked slowly, trying to process what happened. “...Nightmare?” you said blankly. “Nightmare.”

Undyne stared at you intensely. “Nightmare.”

“Yes?”

“YOU SCARED ME, HOLY FUCK!” shouted Undyne. You noticed for the first time she hadn’t put on her eyepatch, since she usually took it off for bed. Her lack of an eye bothered you.

“You are missing an eye,” you told her sincerely. 

Undyne made a grumbling noise, picked you up, tossed you into your bed, and rehinged the door she had blown off in her short frenzy.

You sat in bed, staring at the ceiling with a look of toddler-like innocence.

Why was all this happening?

What was a dream? What wasn’t? What happened?  Why did red eyes come back?

Who was that scientist?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


What was wrong with you?

 

~~ ***...** ~~

 

_ Where I am From _

_ I am from nowhere, _

_ From no parents, _

_ From no friends, _

_ From no love, _

_ From no hope, _

_ From only pain, _

_ From scars and cuts and bruises, _

_ From broken promises, _

_ From beatings, _

_ From being the protector but never protected, _

_ From silence, _

_ From cold, _

_ From failure, _

_ From nothing. _

_ I am _

_ Nothing. _

_ All I have left _

_ is to gain _

_ LOVE _

_ : _ _ ) _


	18. The Scientist/ A Date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all! Have a good day, hope you enjoy the chapter, even if it is a bit shorter than usual!

In the morning, you told Undyne you had fallen back asleep.

Which was a filthy lie, of course.

You hadn’t fallen back asleep; you laid in your bed and felt confused and scared, repeating the red eyed Chara’s words in your head. 

Undyne made scrambled eggs for breakfast, and you made yourself some cereal, since said eggs were burnt black. She suggested that you and her hang out with Alphys for the day, but you declined in fear of truth being behind Chara’s words of the scientist coming for you. You lied again and said you had plans with Frisk, and quickly made it so that you and Frisk would have some hangout time for as long as possible.

After your cereal was eaten (not completely, but more than you’d usually eat), you walked over to Snowdin, wearing your sweater that you had finally mended from the surface.

It was a warm sweater, you had to admit. Part of you wondered why you never wore it on the surface since your house wasn’t heated, but you brushed it off. You were used to the cold there, since you lived on a mountain in a house with little to no heating.

Still, it wasn’t like you were comfortable freezing your ass off. You blinked in surprise.

You hadn’t noticed you reached Sans’s house. “And Paps’s and Frisk’s,” you muttered, reminding yourself. Why did you always do that? Eh, it didn’t  _ really  _ matter... 

It still bugged you, though.

You knocked on the door, and yawned, rubbing your forehead gingerly. As expected, it still hurt like crazy, but at least it wasn’t an open wound. The door opened, and you smiled at Sans.

“Heya. I’m here for Frisk.”

“and not me? i’m offended.”

You snorted. “Okay, sure.”

Sans’s grin grew wider, and he turned back into the house. “kiddo! your sis is here for ya.”

“Okay!! Be right there!”

Sans turned back to you, and his eyes traveled to your forehead. “you get that yesterday?” he asked as he looked at it.

“Oh, this?”

Sans rolled his eyes (or lack thereof). “no, your nose.”

A wry smile grew. “No need to worry. It’s just a little cut.”

The best way to lie was to avoid the question.

“whatever you say, kiddo.”   
Frisk jumped out from behind Sans and pushed past him to give you a hug. You laughed and hugged your sweet younger sibling. “Hi sweetie,” you said, releasing them.

“We’re gonna hang out the whole day?!”

You made a face, considering how to answer. “For a good portion, let’s say.”

“Can we go to Hotland?”

You grimaced. “Maybe later. I was thinking about playing something like hide-and-seek in Waterfall and Snowdin, though. Maybe tag?”

Frisk was silent for a moment, and you felt some nervousness settle in. Their face contorted in a way that made your dread increase even more. The corners of their lips were twisting like they tasted something bitter. You had actually forgotten Sans was still at the door. You think he could tell, because he gave you the biggest scare of your life by grabbing you from behind, with Frisk exploding into laughter when you shrieked.

You whipped around, wheezing.

“Asshole,” you breathed. Sans cackled, and Frisk guffawed. “I hate you so fffffffffffffffff-ricking much.”

“ooh, calm down there, sailor,” Sans said, smirking as he walked past you and plopped himself onto the couch. You rolled your eyes.

“So Frisk? What sounds good?”

“I wanna walk around with you!”

“Like Waterfall?”

“Yeah!”

“Sounds good, sweetie. Want some Nice Cream?”

“Yeahhhh!!” Frisk bolted out, and you laughed.

“Wait for me!” you called, rolling your eyes. You turned back to Sans, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Something about it made your heart sink a little, but you couldn’t think of what it was. You shut the door quietly behind you, and sighed. “Okay Frisk, ready?”

“Yeah,” they said, grabbing your hand. “Can we talk in sign language?”

You looked down in surprise. “Do you want to?”

“Yeah. I need to practice. Just in case, you know?”

“I… I guess. Sure, yeah, why not?”

_ “Yay!”  _ Frisk fingerspelled.

You rolled your eyes.  _ “Don’t start bad habits.” _

Pouty face.  _ “A-W.” _

_ “F-R-I-S-K Y-O-U D-O N-O-T L-I-K-E I-T W-H-E-N I O-N-L-Y F-I-N-G-E-R-S-P-E-L-L. S-T-O-P.” _

Frisk subsequently stopped only fingerspelling, only speaking verbally to ask to be reminded of a word. You were actually a little concerned on how quickly the language was leaving their mind, and mentally reminded yourself to practice with them more. You explored most of Waterfall, and you two were walking back to Sans’s station when you saw…

A door?

One that definitely wasn’t there before.

You and Frisk stared at the door, bewildered, before you put Frisk behind you and walked up to it, opening it slowly.

Within the room, there was a monster, vaguely resembling a skeleton, but melted.

He turned to you, and suddenly, the nightmare came back to mind, all at once. Something had been blocking it from your memory, but looking at him now, you could recognize him. The scientist. The man who speaks in hands.

“Frisk, go,” you said immediately. “We’re going. Move. Movemovemove!”

Frisk ran out of the room in a hurry, and you went to follow, before the door slammed on you.  _ Fuck. _

“SIS!” they shrieked from the other side. 

“FRISK!” you yelled, hitting the door in fear, rattling the doorknob frantically.

“#%*^$%#,” the man said. You turned to face him, tears brimming in your eyes.

The man signed,  _ “I do not wish you any harm. Merely to talk.” _

“W-what?” you stammered weakly, sinking to the ground.

_ “I only want to talk. See, I knew that if the demon was not rid within a week’s time, you would not be able to get rid of it alone. I thought-- perhaps-- if I frightened you with a nightmare, the thought would stick and you would attempt to expel it. This however… was not the case.” _

You could feel your heart beating back to normal, and shakily, you signed,  _ “You aren’t goign to hurt me?” _

_ “No. I-- I never want to cause another living being harm again.”  _ The white pinpricks faded, and then came back.  _ “I want you to think of me as a friend, a counselor, a helping hand, or perhaps as some kind of family.” _

_ “Who are you?”  _ “I’m okay, Frisk, hold on,” you added after signing to the man.

_ “My name is W.D. Gaster.” _

_ “Nice to meet you… Gaster.” _

_ “Likewise, ____. I’ve been watching you for many timelines, many choices, many paths, and I have seen how much pain you are in. All of the suffering, all of the trauma, all of the terror and constant anxiety…” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ “I have seen many things. And I want to help you, since the previous timeline made matters for you worse. I am not a true physical being in this world anymore. I was lost to the void long ago, but with you, and your flexible soul… I could aid you, mentally. I would appear as a voice in your head, sometimes an apparition, much like your friendly side of the demon. I would need your permission to do this though. It may… have a few side effects, but I would be able to help keep the evil in check. And keep the nightmares scarce.” _

_ “What kind of side effects?” _

_ “Your soul will weaken a bit, and you will-- only for a little while-- feel similar to how I do. You will feel slightly lost.” _

_ “That’s all?” _

_ “That’s all.” _

Chara chimed in. She appeared before you, brown eyed.  _ “It may help. And I could make sure he doesn’t try anything.” _

You looked at the two, and slowly signed,  _ “How do I let you?” _

_ “Hand me your soul.” _

Your soul flew before your chest and then lazily floated over to Gaster. A hand with a huge hole in it reached out and--

And you woke up on the ground with Frisk yelling at you. “What?” you muttered groggily, feeling dizzy.

“SISSY! YOU PASSED OUT! DO NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN! YOU WALKED OUT THE DOOR AND IT DISAPPEARED AND YOU PASSED OUT!”

“Did… I?”

“YES!”

“How… long…”

“Only ten seconds. But they were long seconds. Too long. Like not second-long seconds, but super-second long seconds.”

“.... That… helps, thanks.”

“Are you.. are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why’d you tell em to run? Who  _ was  _ that in the room?”

“I mistook him for someone else, sorry for the scare.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Frisk looked at you blankly.

“That’s why I’m not, Frisk,” you said blatantly.

Frisk scanned your face for the lie, but like usual, they couldn’t find it. You lied so much that it sounded like the truth, so you weren’t surprised. “Okay,” they said finally, standing up from their knees.

You, too, got to your knees.  _ “He’s here now,” _ Chara’s voice echoed.

_ “Mm?” _

_ “Hello,” _ Gaster said. You couldn’t understand him before, but now his voice was somewhat British since it was in your head.

_ “Why can I understand you now?” _

_ “He understands English. But when you’re a melting, decomposing mess, it’s hard to speak coherently.” _

_ “But it still sounded like a different language. Kind of like squeaks and chitters.” _

_ “Bilingual, as humans say.” _

_ “Ohhh.” _ Now you felt dumb.

You didn’t say anything else because you felt really stupid, and began to feel confused about your surroundings a little. They all seemed somewhat new but familiar, like deja vu. You wondered if this was how Gaster felt.

You wanted to see Sans again suddenly.

“Wanna go back to Snowdin, maybe get you some lunch at Grillby’s?”

“Okay,” Frisk replied, grabbing your hand. You tugged your two sleeves down further, and then pulled down the bottom of your shirt to hide the biggest scar.

You hated those scars. But that one on your stomach, it was different. It was the biggest, the deepest…

and you made it, unlike the others.

Well, not all of the others.

But they weren’t big scars, the other ones.

You two reached the part of the cave that connected to Snowdin, and a small smile grew on your face. It seemed so fresh, so  _ sublime. _

You were acting unlike yourself. But, you knew you would, based off of what Gaster had told you.

You entered Snowdin, and walked through the snow, listening to the crunch beneath your feet, feeling the cold breeze against your skin.

When you passed Sans’s house, you paused for a moment, barely enough for anyone to notice (it would have looked like a stumble if anything) and considered walking in to say hello for a second. Deciding against it, you turned and continued with Frisk to Grillby’s.

When you opened the door, you saw the skeleton sitting at the bar, talking to Grillby casually. Next to him was the drunk rabbit woman who wanted to hook up with any man that she decided was cute. Part of you wondered why she wasn’t at her normal booth, the other felt irritated she was next to your boney friend. You also were confused on why it mattered since you were just friends, but you didn’t linger there.

Frisk hopped up on the barstool on the other side of Sans, and you walked up and hugged him from behind quickly, resting your head on his skull for a brief moment before sitting next to your younger sibling. Sans turned to both of you, donning his usual wide grin. “heya. what’s going on? come for lunch?”

Frisk nodded cheerfully, and began to talk to Sans after ordering two burgers from Grillby for the both of you. Once he brought them back, Frisk wolfed down their food, alarming even the dog squad (haha, wolf, dog, pfft). You, however, also had to greet Grillby and did want to catch up a bit more from the previous night. “Hey Grillbz,” you uttered, smiling.

The lights behind Grillby’s glasses flickered with what you identified as a happy look, and he responded. “Hello, ____. Fancy seeing you here.”

“You’re a nerd,” you laughed. “How’s business going so far today?”

“Well. It is going as it usually does around now.”

“Noticed ol’ babsy over there moved from her booth. I didn’t know she could even walk.”

The flames around Grillby’s mouth flickered, and you could see him wearing a somewhat wry smile. “You mean Carly?”

“Yeah, yeah, her. What’s the shebang with that?”

“She, as I understand it, came over to flirt with Sans. She does it from time to time when no one will give her attention.”

You felt a violent flicker of jealousy. “Drunk again, I presume?”

Grillby nodded, continuing to clean the glass in his hands, which kept collecting soot. “Although, when she’s not drunk, she is quite favourable. Charming young woman, very polite and humorous. She merely does not know her limits.” He suddenly dropped his voice quite a few decibels, so only you could hear him. “I believe she has a very large crush on Sans. She dotes on him frequently and talks about him nonstop when he isn’t around.”

“Oh? That so?”

“Indeed.” Grillby said, returning to his normal volume, which was not very loud either, you suddenly took note.

“Well, she better treat him well if they ever end up going out,” you laughed. Inside you weren’t laughing, so much as thinking about how you could lock her in her house when she was a drunken mess and hence trap her there, but that wasn’t something you could exactly say. Why were you so jealous? You liked to think that you were typically nice enough.

“I hope so,” Grillby said wistfully. Suddenly, the flames around his face grew a deep red. “Speaking of… dating…”

“Yeah?” You took a bite of your burger, glancing at Frisk, who was still in apparent deep conversation with Sans. Sans seemed like he was trying to also include Carly when he could, but was keeping his interactions minimal. You felt reassured, and turned back to Grillby.   
“Well, I was, ah, wondering if you would be interested in getting dinner some time.”

You froze in shock. It wasn’t necessarily surprise, since you had been expecting such a thing a little, but the timing did surprise you. Your mind worked to think of a response; you weren’t sure how to answer. “Like as a date?”

“That would be the idea,” Grillby said nervously. “Of course, you don’t have to. I merely thought I might ask and see--”

“Sure, okay,” you said quickly. “Let’s try it, see how it goes.”

Grillby seemed elated, and relaxed. “Wonderful. Thank you so much.”

You felt yourself getting red, feeling shy and nervous suddenly. “But if it doesn’t go… well… can we still be friends?”

“Yes, of course, of course,” Grillby told you quickly.

You awkwardly made small talk until you finished your food, and scheduled dinner for the next day at seven.

You left feeling flustered, and couldn’t help but think about Sans for some reason, feeling anxiety grow in your chest.

***SANS**

When ____ hugged me, it reminded me of times she’d hugged me when we had dated. She tended to do it when she was sad or jealous, but I didn’t see any reason for her to be either, since she was laughing and smiling and looked extremely happy, even in her eyes. I was about to talk to ___, but Frisk took up my time. They kept talking about jokes and how their mother loved them, and I laughed and entertained them, but I really wanted to talk to ____. She, however, was deep in conversation with Grillby. I was half listening to them, but then I heard the word  _ date. _ And the words, “Sure, okay.”

I felt sick. And sad, and mad suddenly. And extremely jealous. But I reminded myself about how Grillby and ____ were both adults and it was completely okay for them to like each other. It just hurt, really bad. even though she couldn’t remember, I could remember dating her and bonding with her over timelines that must have equated to  _ years. _ And compared to that, she’d only made small talk with Grillby before. Until this timeline.  _ He _ hadn’t seen her die and die and die and have to deal with seeing someone you love having the lights in their eyes go out. He hadn’t been the one that had to  _ kill _ someone you loved more than you could put into words.

It just… hurt.

I went home and locked my bedroom door, not leaving even for food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, guys! What do ya think? Bet you were expecting hostile ass Gaster. Also a date with Sansy boy. But NOPE! I threw in a *cue singsongy voice* currrrveballlllll! Tell me what you think, leave kudos, give critisism, or don't do any of them! Thank you all for reading so much it means the WORLD to me.


	19. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP i don't think i did a good job today. But hey that's okay I can always fix the things I don't like. And oh my god thank you all SO MUCH for reading and leaving criticism and comments and kudos and everything, I know this isn't a super popular fanfic or anything but I'm so happy it's even gotten to here. Love you all! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

When you got home, Undyne was already there. She was in the bedroom, avidly watching an old cop show that she found in the dump. She turned to you and said, “Hey,” before quickly turning her attention back to the show. “What’s up?” Her eyes were trained on the screen, mesmerized by the overly dramatic car chase. You slumped down on the couch next to Undyne, who leaned against you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

“I got asked out,” you offered, feeling it was the only thing of interest that had happened during the day (that Undyne got to know about, of course. Gaster didn’t seem like a wise subject to bring up). She took it very differently than you were expecting.

“Oh, nice.”

That’s what you were expecting.

This is what you  _ got. _

“WHAT? WHO? WHEN? JUST NOW? IS THAT WHY YOU DIDN’T WANT TO HANG OUT? WHO? WHO? ARE THEY WORTHY? DO I NEED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA THEM? ARE YOU A THING NOW?”   
“Jesus, Undyne,” you laughed, putting your hands up in surrender, as you friend had summoned many spears in her excitement. “It just happened a bit ago. Grillby asked me out. We’re going to dinner tomorrow.”

Undyne sat back down, losing complete interest in the cop show. Her eyes were trained on you. “So what’s the story?”

“There… isn’t much, I guess? He asked me out, and I said, sure, why not, and so we’re gonna go out tomorrow.”

This was not nearly as juicy as Undyne wanted. She gave you an unapproving glare. “Do you like him?”

“Well, I’ve always thought of him as a friend before, but I thought he deserved a chance. I might end up liking him. Who knows. But if it doesn’t go well, we agreed we’d still be friends.”

Undyne groaned, dragging her hands down her face, making her look funny. “That’s so borinnnnnnngggggggg,” Undyne informed you. You grinned.

“Sorry to disappoint, Undies.”

Undyne’s face crumpled. “I hate that nickname,” she muttered. Her face brightened back up though. “To be honest, when you said someone asked you out, I thought it was Sans.”

You blinked, your heart fluttering a little at the thought. Anxiety, you reasoned. “Sans? No, no, he just thinks of me as a friend. And I do too. Think of him as a friend.”

Undyne’s signature toothy, haughty grin widened. “Oh yeah? You big ol’ liar.”

“I’m not lying!” you said defensively. “He’s my really good friend.”

“Oh yeah. Mhm. And Alphys is just  _ my _ really good friend. C’mon, don’t lie.”

“I’m not! Frisk and Pappy just ship us. That’s it.”

“Dude, you both  _ clearly _ think of each other more than that.”

“No he doesn’t,” you replied.

“He blushed every time he looks at you, gets incredibly worried about you, risks his safety for you… You’re so oblivious. Fuhuhu!”

Your face turned red. “No,” you managed to say defiantly.

You friend rolled her eyes and finally returned her attention to the cop show. “Well, whatever. Hope you have fun on your date, man.”

“Thanks,” you answered, relieved to be done with the Sans topic. “So, what’s going on in the show?”

Undyne squinted. “Well, I missed a little, but they’re trying to pull that dude over.”

“Mm. Nice.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. You ever driven a car? When you were on the surface? We don’t have any down here, so I’m always interested.”

“Well…” You wondered if you should tell Undies about how you illegally drove cars with your old friend a few times. “I’ve ridden in them,” you told her.

“How fast  _ do _ they go?”

“Ooh, they can go pretty fast. Some people race in them.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“Well, depends. If it’s just a couple of assholes racing each other, yeah, but it’s an actual competition you can win awards for.”

“You ever participate in those?”

“ _ Me? _ Oh no. Not in one of those. Did one of the illegal ones with my old friend Alex once, though.”

“ _ Why?” _

You shrugged. “Her friend lent us his car, and she borrowed her mom’s car. Almost wrecked Jason’s car, but we managed...” You found yourself smiling, trailing off. That had been fun, and your parents weren’t even mad, since they both drunkenly passed out and didn’t remember you even left.That was a great memory you had with Alex. She’d given you a hug after you almost wrecked that car, since you had a small panic attack. It began to hurt to think about how things were with Alex. You pushed the memory back.

Undyne smirked. “Nice.”

“You aren’t gonna lecture me about being illegal?” you teased, glad to have a distraction of Alex.

Undyne glanced back at you. “All of us gotta have fun sometimes.”

Gaping at her for a few seconds, you snorted. “True enough.”

Undyne cackled and then gave her full attention to the TV while she excitedly talked about how much fun she had with the  _ cutie _ (“PHF- I MEAN--- UH… FORGET YOU HEARD THAT!”) Alphys earlier. You listened with interest at first, but eventually you began to lose interest, your mind turning to Sans. It seemed to do that frequently. You wondered why, but when Undyne’s suggestion came to mind, you pushed it back immediately.

There was no way you liked Sans.

That was…

No. Stop it. Don’t think about stupid things. Just friends.

Why did you need to convince yourself?

_ “God, are all humans nowadays in the same amount of denial as you are?” _

_ “Shush Chara, I’m older than you. And I am not in denial.” _

_ “You’re wrong both times there,”  _ Chara responded smoothly.

_ “Uhhh? No I’m not? You’re a kid, AND I don’t have a crush on Sans.” _

_ “Mhm. Okay, whatever. I don’t care. But I am SIGNIFICANTLY older than you.”  _ You could almost hear the smirk.

_ “I’m not following on how a nine year-old is older than a twenty-one year-old.” _

_ “Well, I died when I was nine. But I died a little over 100 years ago.” _

You furrowed your eyebrows in shock.  _ “Good god, I’m gonna start calling you Granny.” _

_ “Ew.” _

Chara was still a kid at heart, you could tell. Well, at least… part of her was…

“NOOOO!!” Undyne roared, making you shriek in pure surprise, shoot yourself off of the couch, and grip your heart. She looked at you and began to laugh as she saw your startled state. “Did I scare you?”

“What… *wheeze* do… *pant* you…. *gasp* think?”

“Sorry, they killed my favorite character.” You looked back at the T.V., and noticed that Undyne had changed what you were watching back to that anime,  _ Another _ , or something like that.

“Everyone’s gonna die in that anime,” you said bitterly, still sour about the abrupt awakening. “Isn’t that the whole thing?”

“But they might not,” Undyne pointed out. “That’s the whole point right now.”

“My favorite still alive?” you asked hopefully, your heart rate calming. Undyne had paused the scene of her favorite character’s death, and you couldn’t see the girl you liked. “Misaki still alive?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine. But GUESS WHO ISN’T???!”

As Undyne ranted to you, you wondered if it would be a good idea to tell her that you did actually enjoy anime a little. Not all of them. The romance ones tended to suck, as far as you had seen. But the more violent and interesting ones you actually really enjoyed. As you checked the time, seeing Undyne had been complaining for an hour, you decided maybe it would be in your best interest to keep it to yourself.

“Anyways, they shouldn’t have killed her,” Undyne muttered.

“Yeah, I got that,” you snorted. “Anyways, it’s six now, so I’m gonna make dinner.”

“We aren’t going to Grillby’s?”

“I wasn’t… planning on it? Why? You want to?”

“I want some of those fucking cheese fries, those are great! And I’m sure you…” Undyne began to wiggle her eyebrows, “want something as well.”

Your face grew hot, and you punched Undyne as hard as you could in the arm, knowing it wouldn’t affect her. “Shut up,” you squeaked. “I’m not into that.”

“Ooh, you know what  _ is _ gonna be into--”

“OKAY I’LL EAT HERE!” you shrieked, your face feeling like it was melting. “HAVE FUN AT GRILLBY’S ALONE BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING WITH YOU!”

“You know who  _ is _ gonna be having fun at--”

You ran out of the house before Undyne could make another joke. You walked behind her house and sent her a text, changing her name on your phone to “Dirty Undies” and changing her profile picture to the ugliest picture you could find of her.

*”I hate you”

*Dirty Undies: “lol”

*Dirty Undies: “So r u going to go to Grillbys or not bc now i want cheese fries”

*”are you going to keep the jokes up?”

*Dirty Undies: “>:) maybe”

*”Then no”

*Dirty Undies: “Okay FINE i wont r u coming”

*”Sure”

*”ur paying tho”

*Dirty Undies: “How is that fair????”

*”the jokes, undies, the JOKES”

*Dirty Undies: “Dont call be undies i stg i’ll kill u”

*Dirty Undies: “**me”

*”r u paying or not I can get my money i was jk”

*Dirty Undies: “Nah I’ll pay lets go”

*”Okay”

You closed your phone and walked to the front of the house, where Undyne was waiting, putting away her phone. She snorted. “Really? Behind the house? Were you trying to imply something?”

“If the jokes keep going, I’m moving out.”

Undyne’s brow furrowed. “Woah, woah, let’s not be hasty, here--”

“I was kidding, Undyne.”

“I KNEW THAT!” your best friend roared. “FUHUHUHUHU! LET’S GO!”

“Let’s take the boat this time, yeah?”

“FINE! LET’S GoOoO!”

Undyne was kind of like a teenager. No, scratch that, she was a fifth grader who liked the make dirty jokes but hated all the other ones. You snickered and told her your joke. She didn’t approve.

It made it all the more true to you, though.

Once the two of you were dropped off at Snowdin, and began to walk to Grillby’s, the Riverperson suddenly grabbed you.Their voice dropped several octaves and suddenly, you felt freaked out. “Beware of the man who speaks in hands,” they told you, before letting you go and sitting back on their boat. “Tra la la,” they said in their normal, slightly nasally voice. You gace them a creeped-out look, turning back to Undyne and going into the bar.

Chara sounded scared.  _ “What did that mean?” _

_ “I don’t know.” _

Gaster said nothing.

You were on high alert now.

It was a little awkward talking to Grillby, and you tried to finish your food quickly. You glanced up at the T.V., wondering what was on, when you saw Frisk and a certain robotic box. You shot up from the booth you were sitting at, staring at the screen without any explainable emotions.

_ “Did you. Just flip. My switch?” _

_ “... Yes?” _

_ “OOOOH YES!” _

These were not PG appropriate things, you decided. And then Mettaton turned into some sort of humanoid, pink, glitzy fuckboy.

You couldn’t tear your eyes from the screen as he said words. You couldn’t understand them. They were just words. Sounds. Fleeting.

Frisk was getting hit by explosions. They were a kid. Your family. They were getting hurt. They were  _ dying _ , you realized. He was killing them. The world wasn’t real. White noise. All around you. There was nothing but anger. Hate. He was killing them. All you could focus on. You were outside. On the boat, screaming words to  _ go faster _ .

In Hotland, bolting through the lab.

The restaurant.

The spider’s cave.

She tried to stop you, but her webs didn’t slow you down.

Through the Core.

“FRISK!” you screamed.

Alphys was behind the door, staring at her tablet in horror, giving Frisk instructions. Insignificant. She wasn’t doing anything.

“FRISK!” you screamed again, pounding on the door. You were slamming all of your body weight against it. Alphys had moved away. You hadn’t noticed. You kept pounding your fists on the door. “DON’T HURT THEM!” you screeched. Were you crying? You couldn’t tell. You were losing your shit, screaming curses, throwing all you had at the door, trying to break it down, trying to make it open. Your hands were bleeding. There were blood splatters all over the door. 

And then…?

Then it wasn’t you at all who was pounding on the door.

Someone had taken control.

White light, black light, light…. it filled your vision.

You were sitting at Grillby’s in a booth, confused. You had control back, from whoever had taken over. And when you looked up, there was the same image again from before. “Frisk,” you breathed, and sped out into the cold.

The riverperson had never gone so slowly, it felt. “They’re dying,” you said, shaking. “They’re dying. They died, they died, oh my god….”

“Don’t let him take control.”

You turned your attention to them. “What?”

“Tra la la. We’re here.”

No time for questions. You ran again. At that same locked, blocked door. It was open. “FRISK!” you screamed, your cheeks wet from tears. You almost slipped off of the edge, but you managed to get inside the room, seeing a Frisk holding a bloody arm, standing before a powered down Mettaton, being tended to by Alphys. Frisk was eating some food. 

You were sobbing, a mess. It felt like years had gone by in the minutes it had taken you to get there. You were hugging them, shaking violently. You couldn’t form coherent thoughts.

Don’t trust anyone. Don’t let Frisk be alone. I made a promise that they wouldn’t get hurt, and now they’re almost dead. “I should kill him,” you were able to choke out, staring at Mettaton.

Alphys was crying quietly.

“No, sissy, it’s okay,” Frisk told you desperately. “I’m okay.”

“He tried to  _ kill _ you!” you managed to say, holding them behind you more protectively.

“He’s never managed to before!”

“What about right before?”

Frisk looked at you oddly. “I thought you did that. He was keeping the door locked because you were going berserk.”

“I don’t have that kind of determination,” you told them incredulously. “He killed you, didn’t he? He did?”

“No, he  _ didn’t.  _ Calm down--”

“I should turn him into  _ scrap metal!” _ you shrieked.

“YOU’RE ACTING LIKE MOM AND DAD!” Frisk shouted, getting out of your arms.

Sinking. They were right. You were just like them. Frisk’s eyes were wide. “Sis--- No, I didn’t mean that! Sis, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean--”

You staggered out. Like mother, like daughter. Two killers. Three killers when you counted yourself.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, one killer, two killer, red killer, blue killer. 

Red from the blood. Blue from losing all the oxygen. That happened, didn’t it? You remembered it now. Hazy, but you remembered. A noose, a knife, pills, hypothermia, a  _ splat _ from hitting the ground too fast, and how many deaths just like those?

You’d only ever killed one person in the other timelines besides the most recent.

You’d only killed one.

 

Yourself. That’s who it had to be, right? It was so obvious. Glaringly so.

Murderer, killer, you killed yourself. Not that you cared. Then you killed  _ everyone. _ Where were you? Hell. You were in hell. Your life was hell. You were the mistake, that kids always joke about. A mistake, a product of unprotected sex. You were one of those kids. No friends, because you were a bad person. You were alone. No point. You were fake, an act. No one loved you. No one knew you. They knew a character, but it wasn’t  _ you. _ Cruel, nasty, greedy, untrustworthy,  _ abusive _ human.

You should just kill yourself.

Pathetic. You can’t even respond?

That’s w _ hat I expected. _

_ You can’t even tell what thoughts are your own anymore, can you? Poor, broken, victim ____. Give me your soul. _

**_Do not give the demon your soul._ **

_ Don’t let her get you. _

_ I’ve already got you. I’m the only one who understands. I’m the only one who can stop your pain forever. Give me your soul. _

**_Fight her._ **

_ FIGHT BACK! _

_ Give in. _

**_It will kill all of them. It will make you watch. Do not trust it._ **

_ Beware of the man who speaks in hands, ____. Don’t let the scientist get to you. _

_ She’s coming. She’s bringing her down here! Do NOT give in!” _

**_Fight her, ____!”_ **

**Put down the knife.**

Put down the knife.

_ Use it, waste of space. _

“____!”

“____, just… put down the knife, okay? set it down. you’re okay, alright? don’t give in to that thing.”

“Her eyes…”

“don’t.”

You were in a void, the darkness encompassing you. “Waste of space,” you whispered. 

_ Yes. _

They stood before you. Brown eyed Chara and Gaster stood on the right and left, and in the middle was the red eyed one, the melting one.

**No.**

Don’t give her control again!

_ Your soul. _

“My… soul….”

“What’s she mean, Sans! What the fuck is happening?”

“Sis, I didn’t-- I didn’t mean it… I-- I’m so sorry…”

“P-put down the kn-knife, ___!”

“___, please snap out of it! You will get through this!”

“H-HUMAN…?”

“buddy, please, snap  _ out _ of it.”

_ “I’m coming for you. I finishing the job that your father failed to do.” _

_ Give me your soul. _

It was in front of your chest. 

Wrong. Wrong. Give it back. Don’t let her grab it. You took the soul. It was flickering bright red. You pushed it into your chest. Don’t let her get it. She’ll kill them.

_ “Darling? Remember me?” _

_ “Don’t touch me.” She drew closer. “Don’t TOUCH ME!” _

_ “What’s wrong?” Laughter. “I’m coming.” _

“Don’t let her get it….”

Hazy vision. The blackness gone. Red. You looked down. Knife. Up. Friends. They weren’t the real ones, though, you knew immediately. Red eyes. All of them. Reaching for your soul...

You woke up in a field of gray flowers, screaming. You shot up, tripping and hitting your head. You didn’t care. You looked around manically. Alone. Back in that place. Gray flowers. All gray. You were exhausted and terrified. A few red flowers. The few flowers began to mesh together as a person. Chara. Red eyes. You stayed away from her, backing up. The exit. You had to get out. Get out. Get out or everyone dies.

It was painful. You basically rolled down, and Chara simply floated closer and closer, grinning, and suddenly, you fell into the room, getting the wind knocked out of you. Your mouth opened, gasping, as you closed your eyes in pain. You were curling up, pain…

Laughter. You couldn’t stop. You cried out as you tried to stand, staggering through the waterfall, falling into the water. You couldn’t run anymore. Too tired. No energy. No determination.

“Weak,” Chara said. She reached out, pulling out your soul. Red soul. She drove her thumbs into it, and your screamed in agony. Then…

She was trying to break it in half. Ear splitting, ringing noises filled every corner, drilling into your mind. The screams you screamed were blocked out as she split it in half. Bright red liquid poured out, everything draining. In a last act of pure instinct, knowing you were dead either way, you grabbed your soul and tried to hold it together. Chara got there first, ghostly hands. The brown eyed one, you thought, falling back to the ground. She was screaming and crying, blood pouring from her hands and she tried to keep you alive. Then Gaster.

**You’ve made a mistake, demon. She is not as weak as she looks. She’s determined.**

_ Heh. Is she still, though…? _

You woke up for real, in the field of echo flowers. You shot up, tears staining your face, as well as dirt and blood, it felt like. You coughed, trying to catch your breath.

_ “You’re all right. It won’t be able to attack again for a while, I don’t think.” _ Gaster.

“What… happened? Not… safe….”

_ “You’re safe for now. All of that was a dream. That white flash was her taking control. Frisk went out and seeing you, went back to their save. Chara remade all of that.” _

“What about my friends… telling me not to give up?”

_ “Fake as of now. Their real reactions in a different universe where you gave in.” _

“Why am I here??”

“ _ After the save, Chara, still with control, told everyone she wanted some fresh air. She came here to attempt to  break you. You are very strong. I’m proud of you.” _

“Thanks…”

_ “The other Chara is resting. She’s still healing.” _

“Okay…”

_ “Go back to your friends, okay? You need it now.” _

As you cautiously made your way back to Undyne’s house, you made up several excuses for being out so late. 

“Heyyy Undies!” you called.

“Finally back? I’m in the bedroom.”

“Hey,” you said, leaning against the door. Undyne laughed when she looked at you. “Your hair is super messy,” she told you, reading a manga.

“I wanted to propose something, you told her, just wanting to get your mind off of the topic about Chara. “Anime marathon?”

Undyne threw you onto the couch and picked out every single anime she could and started them up. “HELL YEAH!” she shouted.

You finished  _ Another _ , surprised at the ending. You started a few other animes, though, and finished some of those.  _ Another _ was currently your favorite, you decided. You checked your phone’s time. 1 am. Perfect time to text Sans, clearly. What? No, no you didn’t miss living in the same house as him and seeing him almost every hour. Pfft. What? No. That would make it sound like you had a crush on him. Which you DIDN’T, thank you very much.

*”Heya bonebag”

Ten minutes.

*sansy: “yo”

You smiled, texting Sans back quickly. *”I made a little mistake”

***SANS**

*____: “I made a little mistake”

For a second, I thought that maybe she meant saying yes to Grillby asking her out.

*”oh yeah?”

*____: “I suggested an anime marathon to Undyne and now I’m not sure if there’s an end to it”

Oh.

Well that was a little disappointing.

*”why’d ya do something like that”

*____: “I forgot she was crazy”

*____: “omfg I just told her ‘goodnight undies’ and she almost decked me omg I almost died”

I snorted. *”im gonna call her tuna undies for the rest of my life”

*____: “Oh my god sans she’ll kill me”

*”its too late its too great”

*____: “youre such a meanei I hate you”

*____: “**meanie”

*____: “jk that was a lie”

*____: “I only hate you sometimes”

*____: “usually i love you”

*____: “Platonically I mean”

*____: “like as friends”

*____: “bc you are my friend”

*____: “i made this awkward ohmygod sorry”

Still scared about saying “I love you,” I noticed. Understandably in this case. 

*”not as awkward as alphys can be sometimes”

*____: “SANS thats so mean”

*”i am a meanei”

*____: “let me live”

I laughed again. She was cute.

*____: “Im gonna try to get some sleep goodnight”

*”gn”

I flopped back into my bed, going straight back to moping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, criticism, and kudos all welcome! Do what you want, though. Don't feel guilt tripped bc I'm happy enough that you guys even read this. I love you guys so much! (predictions also welcome I like to read those)


	20. Open Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes on bikes

Gaster tried to tell you what was real and what wasn’t about your hallucinations with Chara, but you didn’t think he could tell exactly either. You were still hurt about what Frisk said and you weren’t even sure if they actually said it.

But you couldn’t confront them.

God no. That would be horrible.

Not to mention that you had no motivation to ask anyone about that anyways.

That’s why you focused on other things.

Like when you told Alphys about your date, and how she freaked out, and then she recruited Mettaton (much to your dismay) to get you not ONLY a dress, but also to give you a complete makeover.

You liked it a little. It was kind of fun, after all. The last time  _ anyone _ asked you out was in high school, and the last time you actually dated someone was junior year. And that ended rather unwell. To be blunt. He got really angry at you because you were busy a lot. But that was then.

It could also be now, but you cheerfully decided to do what you did best, and shove that thought to the back of your head.

Anyways, you were really dreading seeing Mettaton, so you spent the day with Alphys and Undyne, just goofing around. And then that evening, when you finally had to get ready for your date, you started getting worried again.

First of all, maybe after Chara almost destroyed you, maybe, just  _ maybe, _ you shouldn’t go on a date. Secondly, you did not want Mettaton to see your scars. That was the most worrisome issue currently. You had no idea how you were gonna hide your scars if he was going to get you a dress. Sure, the stomach one was probably not going to be seen. But somehow, the ones on your arms seemed less hide-able. You wondered if you got any requests.

Oh god. New anxiety point: what if he chose a dress that showed off your  _ back? _ Next to your stomach, your back was the one thing you did not want anyone to ever see. It was hideous, all scars, all deformed and creepy and disgusting.

No one got to see that.

Oh, and maybe your stomach  _ wasn’t _ so safe. What if he chose a dress that showed off your tummy? It would definitely be around your upper-bellybutton area. Oh god. Maybe you could just cancel with Grillby! Ask for it to be more casual. That’d be okay, right? Right? Potentially…?

_ “Oh my god, calm down. It’s one night, a few hours. Just be patient. Don’t wear stuff you don’t want to.” _

“Thanks Chara,” you muttered softly.

_ “Mhm.” _

_ “It will be alright. You’ll be fine. This is a fleeting moment within a compilation of other fleeting moments,” _ Gaster unhelpfully added.

“That’s not helpful,” you squeaked, beginning to feel small and nervous.

_ “I apologize,”  _ Gaster said.

_ “Yeah, you’d BETTER!” _

“Chara, please don’t be rude,” you begged.

_ “Aw, c’mon!” _

You sighed, sitting down. You kept your eyes trained on the door, waiting for Mettaton while Alphys and Undyne aggressively flirted. But maybe not so aggressively, because they were both embarrassed bumbling messes who both denied liking each other. Even though it was glaringly obvious.

There was some knocking at the door, and the dread rushed back. You sighed, standing up and watching the door open to reveal Mettaton. “Hi, MTT,” you said miserably.

“HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO DARLING!” He was rocking it, you had to admit. But you were also anxious. And mad. He hurt Frisk, and for what reason? Publicity?

Also, what was up with the obnoxious questions that you kept asking yourself? You needed to calm down. “So, Alph says you’re gonna give me a makeover?”

“And some fabulous dresses,” Mettaton said, unpacking a suitcase with many dresses. Damn. “And I think  _ this _ one is just perfect for you!”

Joy. No really, great. You looked at the dress, and suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of relief. “It’s a sweater dress!” you said happily, taking it from Mettaton’s hands. It was a gray dress, that was indeed a sweater dress. Its turtleneck part was big, so it showed off your collarbone nicely. There were white spots on it, but only the lower half. 

It looked pretty great, you had to hand it to the giant toaster-oven-fuckboy. You stopped yourself from laughing aloud at that thought as you grabbed the leggings Mettaton handed to you to go along with the dress. “Oh, and take this too,” Mettaton said. “I thought it would be a nice touch.” He dropped a silver heart locket on your hand, and then he shoved you to the bathroom so you could change. Alphys’s bathroom was weird, but you didn’t pay much attention since you were changing. You looked at yourself in the mirror, putting the necklace around your neck.

You smiled. You looked pretty nice.

You wondered what Sans would think of the outfit. Er, you meant Grillby. You wondered what kind of  _ pun _ Sans would make about your outfit.

Yes.

“Let me see, darling!!” You walked out of the bathroom, and smiled anxiously. Mettaton smiled approvingly. “Yes, yes, that looks great. Just put these on and it will be perfect. And then we’ll move to makeup and hair!”

He threw some gray converse rip-offs at you, and you put them on quickly. He moved you upstairs to Alphys’s bed and started on your makeup, studying your face.

Thankfully, he didn’t put too much on.

But he spent forever and a half on your hair. He finally (and rather grumpily) resorted to a simple braid when you reminded him that it was 6:30, and that you were scheduled to meet up at seven.

He brightly announced that he was done, and called for Undyne and Alphys to come back to the lab so they could see you. 

They both freaked, although Alphys was significantly more excited. “Y-You look so good!” she squealed, running up to you and bouncing up and down in joy. She turned to Mettaton. “You did a g-great job, M-Mettaton!”

Mettaton agreed. Undyne made a face in return, which made you giggle, seeing as you knew she wasn’t a fan of Mettaton. “Yeah dude, you look nice. You should show the rest of the gang.”

Sudden nervousness hit you. “I don’t think we have time,” you reminded her. “It’s already…” You checked the time. “6:42. Jeez, guys, I might be late as it is. There’s definitely not time.”

“Awh, whatever. Let me at least take a picture of you, okay?”

“Go ahead. But do it fast. I don’t wanna be really late.”

Undyne quickly told you to smile, and then snapped a picture of you. You checked it, gave it the okay, then rushed out of the lab to get to the MTT restaurant. You finally got there, panting, and checked your phone’s time, to see it said 6:59. You scoffed, and tried to regain your breath. That was more work than you were intending on doing, especially when running around in a sweater dress.

In Hotland.

Without water.

Mistakes were made, let’s just say.

The ringtone you set for Grillby suddenly went off, and you quickly answered. “Hey Grillby. I’m at the restaurant right now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was hoping to catch you sooner, but I am afraid I will have to cancel for tonight. Fyr has caught a dreadful cold and I can’t leave her alone. I’m very sorry.”

You internally groaned, slightly embarrassed, but mainly because you were melting. “Oh, that’s alright, don’t worry about it.”

“Uhm, there was also another thing I wished to discuss.”

“Ohhhhkay?”

“Well, you see…”

“What?”

“Nevermind. We’ll reschedule, okay?”

“Um, okay. Later.”

“Goodbye.”

You hung up and groaned, not moving for a second. To be perfectly honest, you were kind of relieved.

But also irritated. Not because Grillby cancelled, but because of how your friends would probably react.

Undyne was going to insist that you force him to go out tonight anyways, as was Mettaton most likely, and Alphys would just timidly agree with everyone. Papyrus didn’t even  _ know, _ nor did Frisk (and who knew if they wanted to talk to you if they had actually compared you to your parents). And Sans…

Well, actually, maybe Sans would be a good candidate. Like, you looked pretty  _ great… _

No. You were going to go to Sans because he would be chill.

Yes.

Okay, so  _ maybe _ there was a chance that there was a  _ different  _ reason you wanted to go to Sans. But that was maybe, so no one could taunt you.

God, you didn’t know.

You walked away slowly from the door, and headed back towards the lab, quickly hitching a ride with the riverperson.

“Tra la la,” they sang. Then, they took back their original, dark demeanor you had seen before. “Help does not mean there are no ulterior motives.”

You felt shivers go down your back. “How do you mean? And what was with the ‘man who speaks in hands’ thing?”

“I think you very well know,” they said, turning to you, eyes glowing from behind their hood. They turned back around, and you eyed them cautiously as you approached Snowdin, hopping off the boat before it even fully stopped. “Tra la la.”

You felt the shivers again, muttered a small thanks and headed to the skelebro household.

Rapping on the door lightly, you waited for someone to let you in.

“Coming!” you heard a soft voice say. Frisk, you thought. A little bit of nervousness courses through you. They opened the door, still wearing their usual soft smile. When their eyes met yours, they grew big. “SIS!” they said excitedly.

So… that must have been part of the dream. “Hi, sweetheart,” you responded as gently as you could, pulling them in a soft hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Papy and I were watching a movie.”

“Oh? That’s nice.”

“Yeah, it’s really good! Alphys lent it to Undyne, and Undyne lent it to us for tonight. But, I’m kinda surprised you’re here. Undyne said you had plans.”

“They fell through, Fyr got sick,” you told them.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You wanna watch the mov-- you look fancy.”

A smile worked its way onto your face. “Yeah? I would hope so.”

“Were-- were you going on a  _ date?” _ Their mouth hung open, shocked. “With…  _ Grillby?” _

Laughing a little anxiously, you said, “Well, we were going to see how it went. But yes, that was the plan.”

“Grillby,” they repeated.

“You were right there when he asked me out,” you said. “When we went to Grillby’s together?”

“ _ THEN????” _

A genuine laugh came out of you. “You really didn’t notice?”

They stared. “I thought you would… I thought S-- nevermind. Do you wanna watch the movie?”

“Actually, maybe in a bit. Is Sans home? I just wanted to talk for a bit. Although, looking back on it, I should have called…” you trailed off, frowning.

“He’s in his room. You can try to talk to him if you want, but he doesn’t like letting people in his room.”

“I don’t want to bother him,” you said instantly, feeling a little dread. Frisk was going to push for you to do it, you knew it. And you didn’t want to intrude. They took the news of the date better than you thought; maybe you could still watch a movie instead.

“I don’t think he’d mind if it was you,” Frisk said, as you expected, more or less.

“No, I don’t want to if he’s busy. It’s okay.” You thought back to when you spent the night in his room after a nightmare. Did he not want you to be there and just let you stay out of politeness? That sick feeling came back. You were just a burden; another obligation that people had just because they didn’t want to be called out as the person that could have helped and didn’t.

“Sis, c’mon, I’m  _ sure _ he’d be glad to see you,” they persisted.

“No, Frisk,” you said firmly. “I’m not going to be rude.”

Their nose wrinkled up, clearly disapproving of your logic. “Fine. You wanna watch the movie still?”

“Sure. What’s it called?” you asked as you walked in, taking off your sneakers. “Hi, Paps.”

“HELLO HUMAN! HOW ARE YOU? I THOUGHT YOU HAD PLANS!”

“They fell through,” you said politely. “We’re gonna reschedule.”

“OH, I’M SORRY! FEEL FREE TO JOIN US!”

“Thanks,” you said.

“The movie we’re watching is called  _ Spirited Away. _ It’s really good.”

“Let me guess-- anime?”

“Yeah, but not the way you’re thinking probably. You’re kind of late, but it’s really good. The girl-- Chihiro-- gets stuck in this spirit world and she has to work in this bath house so her parents won’t get eaten.”

“That sound kinda violent,” you thought aloud, sitting on the couch, your younger sibling hopping up onto your lap.

“Well, they’re pigs, so not really. Trust me. It’s good. You’ll love it.”

You shut up and watched the movie. Sometimes, you’d annoy Frisk by shouting out, “Who’s that?” only for them to tell you that: 1, they didn’t know, or 2, Yubaba.

The movie was about halfway through when you got there, but you still almost cried at the ending. It wasn’t your fault. You were a squishy mess, you didn’t ask to get emotionally invested in characters. Once the movie finished, Frisk and Papyrus yawned. “Bedtime?” you asked.

“Y-yeah…” Frisk murmured, passing out in your lap.

“Shouldn’t we get you two to bed, then?”

“No,” Papyrus grumbled. You looked at him in shock. You apparently missed the news that Papyrus had volumes  _ other _ than yells.

“Up you get, Papy. You have training with Undyne tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah..”

Papyrus slowly shuffled up the stairs as you carried Frisk up. You could feel them breathing softly on your neck as they threatened to fall asleep. Finally, once Papyrus reached his bedroom, he stumbled over to his bed and fell in it face first. “Where’s your bed, Frisk?” you hummed.

“Closet…”

“That’s an odd place,” you told them.

“We take it out and put it next to Papy’s bed.”

“Oh, okay. I’m gonna put you down, okay?”

They let out a few grumbles, but you managed to get the mattress out without breaking any bones (you snorted at that thought, Frisk and Papyrus both giving you unapproving looks for the sudden outburst). It was already made, and Frisk mimicked the actions of Papy as they fell into their bed.

“Goodnight, guys,” you said, kissing Frisk’s forehead.

“Story first!” Frisk said.

“YES, STORY!” Your heart rate increased from the sudden volume increase from Papyrus. You placed a hand over your heart and exhaled shakily.

“alright, alright--” Sans teleported just behind you, sounding somewhat drowsy himself, and you interrupted him with a small shriek of surprise, jumping to the side.

He looked surprised to see you. You stared at him for a second, and for a moment, you could _ swear _ you saw a hint of blue on his cheekbones, but you scolded yourself, saying it was just wishful thinking. Er-- a trick of the light. Yeah. The second one.

“when’d you get here? i thought you were hanging with grillbz tonight.”

“U-uh, our plans fell through. He says Fyr’s pretty sick.”

“really? he didn’t mention that to me. i’ll go over there in a bit.”

“Yeah… I wasn’t sure if I should go over there, or if it would be awkward or what.”

“yeah, that’s fair, i--”

“STORY!!!” Papyrus screamed.

Sans sighed, and turned back to his brother. “alright, what story tonight?”

Papy and Frisk both elected for some story about a bunny. “Well, I’m gonna head out,” you said. “I’ll see you guys late--”

“actually, you mind waiting downstairs for a bit? i wanted to talk ‘bout somethin’.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll let Undyne know.” Exiting the room, you headed downstairs and plopped yourself on the couch.

*”Hey Undies, sorry to disappoint, im not gonna be home for a little bit”

*Dirty Undies: “dont call me undies”

*Dirty Undies: “and ooh la la ;)) get some”

Your face burned and you furiously texted your friend back. *”actually our plans fell through im at papyrus’s house and would also not do something like that on date #1 and u know it so shut up”

*Dirty Undies: “how bout date 2”

*”Im gonna tell mettaton to call u undies”

*Dirty Undies: “dont u dare”

*”I  d a r e”

*Dirty Undies: “ur gonna die if u do that i stg”

*Dirty Undies: “and y r u at paps house”

*Dirty Undies: “is it for”

*Dirty Undies: “a certain skelly”

*Dirty Undies: “bc if so i was RIGHT”

*”I came over for frisk”

*Dirty Undies: “i call bs”

*Dirty Undies: “i smell something fishy”

*”thats probably you”

*Dirty Undies: “I hate you”

*Dirty Undies: “***i smell a big fat humie lie”

*”its not a big fat lie”

*”... its an itty bitty one”

*Dirty Undies: “i fucking called it”

*Dirty Undies: “cmon dude b real w/ urself. u like him, not grillby”

*Dirty Undies: “its kinda super obvious”

*”shut up undies im gonna be home a little later ok? ok  bye”

Your phone dinged again, but you neglected to pick it up, and instead you just tried again to open the book Sans had that had about eight gajillion other books inside of it. But instead of opening it normally, you opened the first one and shook it really hard.

...

Nope.

He had glued all the other books inside.

You let out a sigh of defeat and set the book on the counter.

Waiting for Sans to finish the story was taking longer than you thought, seeing as the book was very short, but you figured Sans was drawing out so that Paps and your little angel would actually fall asleep.

Sure enough, as you again attempted to open the book to find the middle, you happened to glance up to see someone smirking slyly at you. “how’s that working out for ya?”

“Not well,” you laughed, throwing the never-ending book at Sans. He lazily caught it and dropped it back on the end table. “So what’d you want to talk about?”

Sans paused, seeming slightly uncomfortable. “can we go outside?”

Suspicion grew, but you agreed. You walked out and Sans followed you. He still looked stressed and now your confusion grew. “Sans? What’s wrong?”

He looked like he was about to say something, but his browbones furrowed and he sighed, running a bony hand over his skull. “ya know what? it’s not important.”

“Sans,” you said firmly, grabbing his arm before he could go back inside. “What’s wrong? You can talk to me.”

Sans looked at you with a pained look. “look, i shouldn’t even know ‘bout this, and it’s actually none of my business, so--”

“Sans, what are you talking about?” Now panic was growing. Was he talking about your parents? Oh god, what if he remembered you telling him something about the from another timeline?

“kid, you’re just gonna get upset, and neither of us need that.”

“Sans, you better tell me what you’re talking about,” you said fearfully. “What are you talking about? If you don’t tell me, what if I assume something wrong or something? You can’t leave me hanging like that.”

The lights that served as eyes faded out, and he looked at his feet. “i-- okay. look. this has been buggin’ me for a while, and you’re my really good friend, ya know? i don’t want you to feel…” He paused. “... alone.”

“Sans…?”

***SANS**

Oh god, this was an awful idea. It had just popped into my mind, and I just connected dots and got scared and then my  _ stupid _ mind just decided to impulsively say it.

____ looked at me fearfully, and I winced. I really regretted bringing it up, but after the outburst Grillby told me about where she ran out of the bar, seeming disoriented, I decided I had to.

The words about how she wished she was dead.

The weird disappearances and constant sadness.

That… scar…

I sighed heavily, and her grip on my sleeve tightened. I gently took her hands in mine, and looked at her in the eye. “just know… you don’t haveta answer if you get uncomfortable, ‘kay? i just… are you okay?”

“What? Of course I am-- why would you--- what makes you think-- what made you think otherwise?”

Now or never. I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. “there was an instance a while ago. when you went to see your mom, in that other save. you said-- ‘i want to die.’ and the other night when you had that nightmare, your sleeve pulled up a little bit, and i noticed… a scar.”

Her face sunk and she looked away, biting her lip. “You saw… one of my scars?”

I looked at her, pained.  _ One _ of her scars. Out of all the timelines I’d known her, and not once had I noticed. “i did.”

She exhaled shakily, and slowly said, “Look, Sans, Frisk and I-- we didn’t have the easiest life on the surface. I don’t want to ever go back there, honestly… we weren’t doing so hot then, y’know? I don’t know if you knew, but Frisk has a disability. They’re deaf. I don’t really know why they can hear down here, but on the surface, they couldn’t hear anything.” She fell quiet, and i felt sick. This was the most she’d ever really told me. “I had a lot of problems at school, too. But that’s behind us now, so you don’t have to worry. I’m okay.”

I could tell she was leaving a lot out. But it was progress. Her hands fell from mine and she gave a small smile. “You don’t have to worry.”

I looked back at her, and shoved my hands into my pockets. “just… you know i’d really miss ya, right?”

A little bit of surprise crossed her face, and she let out a little laugh. “You don’t have to worry,” she repeated, pulling me into a hug. “I’m really okay.”

“you promise?”

“I’m fine, Sans. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“____.”

“Sans,” ____ sighed, “I can’t promise you something I don’t know the answer to, okay? I promise that I’m done cutting, but I can’t promise that I won’t get in any fights, or hurt, or die from a fight or anything like that.”

“no, no, i’m not-- not for things outside of your control. just…. this.”

“I promise I won’t cut anymore, Sans.” She looked serious, and now uncomfortable.

I sighed. “thanks, kid. you want me to take a shortcut back to your house for ya?”

“Oh, you don’t need to,” she said gently. And then sneezed. “I get a little queasy sometimes after you teleport. I’ll walk.” And then she sneezed again, shivering.

“you’re cold,” I observed.

“Only a little. I’m fine.”

“humans can get sick from that, can’t they?”

“I… think so?” I started taking off my coat, before ____ stopped me. “Sans, I’m fine. Once I’m in Waterfall, I’ll be fine. But… thank you for worrying about me.” Confliction crossed her for a second, I stared back at her, unwavering.

***Y/N**

You were trying to decide what to do to end the conversation before Sans got too worried. For his overall chill demeanor, he was a pretty giant worrywart. He’d give Alex’s mom a run for her money, you thought. Sans was looking back at you, waiting for you to do whatever it was you were gonna do. 

Should you--?

Okay, why not, just do it and then run. Like just do it and then say goodbye and then it will be fine. Hopefully. But would that be cruel? No, no, you could say it was friendly. HAH, BECAUSE IT IS FRIENDLY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, it’s completely friendly. Yes.

No, it wasn’t. you couldn’t keep that lie up anymore, and you knew it.

What were you going to do about Grillby?

Oh god, this was gonna suck.

Actually, maybe you couldn’t do this.

But you kinda wanted to.

That was a lie. You wanted to.

“Bye, Sans,” you said.

“...seeya.” Sans turned to go back inside, and you quickly made up your mind, pecked him on the cheekbone, and walked away as quick as you could without it looking suspicious. You could  _ feel _ your face burning. It was actually making you warm up.

A little bit of a smile wormed its way onto your face, and you could feel butterflies flutter around in your stomach.

So what if it was only a kiss on the cheek? It still sorta counted.

Somewhat.

Fuck, what were you gonna do about Grillby, again?

Also, double-fuck, what if Sans felt all platonic about you? You had a crush on him, but who knows if he felt the same about you.

You ran the idea of Sans being your boyfriend in your head, finally admitting to what pretty much everyone around you had known for a while.

Your mind spun, and when you finally got back to the house, you sat on your bed and contemplated what you were going to do.

“Hey nerd,” Undyne said groggily. “You were  _ not _ kidding when you said you’d be late. Jesus.”

“I did a thing,” you immediately squeaked.

“Ugh… what?”

“I kissed Sans--”

“WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! NGAH, I HAVE BEEN  _ TELLING AND TELLING ANF TELLLING YOU THAT YOU LIKED HIM AND FUHUHU I WAS RIGHT _ \--”

“It was only on the cheek,” you finished, retreating from your friend who had suddenly lost her shit.

“PFT, POINT STANDS, I KNEW IT, I KNEW I-- Hey, what are you gonna do about Grillby?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “I can’t think of how to tell someone, ‘Hey, actually, I don’t want to go out with you because I  _ actually _ want to date your best friend.’”

Undyne gave a sympathetic grimace. “Yep, that’s a problem. I would say just go on the one date and after say you just didn’t feel a connection.”

“Wow… that’s actually kinda smart… I’m surprised.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Undyne snorted.

You laughed, and when you fell asleep, you were actually happy.

If only the good moments lasted.

You were in a world of only gray echo flowers, of only gray stone, and of only gray grass.

At the end of the corridor you were in, there was something glowing. You could see it, but you couldn’t tell what it was. It was blurred from your vision, blurred out as you neared it…

As you reached the object, it finally came into focus.

A bright red soul. Yours.

“How did… where?” You looked at the soul, and took it into your hands.

Red eyes.

The moment you grabbed the soul, the entire room changed. The grass changed to a dark, dead brown, the stone turned black, and the flowers…

they all went red.

You fell in shock to see the red eyed Chara before you, laughing.

_ “What dreams may come now that I have the power?” _

She flung her hand out, and grabbed your soul painfully hard.

You screamed in agony, it felt like your whole being was being crushed, being destroyed. And you watched, in horror, as the red from your soul flew into her, and her eyes grew bloodier as she began to melt, cackling.

Gray.

A light gray, cracked, ugly soul sat before you.

 

_ y _

_ o _

_ u _

_ r _

_ s _

_. _

You felt empty. Just like normal, empty, sad, angry...  


There was a deep, deep crack down the middle of your soul, and it looked so weak, so delicate. You reached out and touched it, watching the pieces shatter, with words from everything you had known.

_ "Look at this little slut. Can't you fuckin' clean? And you haven't even started cooking yet. Little c***. You're such a fucking failure, you know that? I wish you'd never been born. Should fucking kill yourself." _

_ "Mom, I'm sorry, sorry, I'll work harder, I swear, I'm sorry--" _

_ "Too late, you little bitch. You need to be taught a lesson." _

_ "What'd she do know?" _

_ "Dad, Dad, please-- No please, please don't-- DAD STOP! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY--!" _

_ Crack. _

_ Crack. _

_ Crack. _

_ "DAD STOP!" _

_ He brought the whip down again, hitting your neck, making you wail. _

_ Pathetic. _

_ **** _

_ "God, can you just stop, ____?  I'm trying to help,, I didn't ask to fucking move, okay?" _

_ "Alex, can you just fuck off? Go be with your fucking mommy and just forget about me, since I don't matter anyways." _

_ "Stop being such a bitch, I'm trying to be a good friend!" _

_ "Maybe you'd be a better friend if you just fucked off, okay? I don't need you, or anyone else. So fuck you." _

_ "Fine then." _

_ She walked away, flipping you off as she went. _

_ **** _

_ "Go away, Frisk." _

_ They signed back, "Sis, I want to help you." _

_ You signed back, "Well, you can't. Go away." _

_ **** _

_ A knife slashed open your stomach. _

_ **** _

_ You were at the foot of an abyss, being stabbed. _

_ **** _

_ You were killing all of your friends, all the monsters... _

_ **** _

_ You were killing yourself, whispering to a field of echo flowers your last words. _

_ **** _

_ You watched a field that was originally almost all blue with a few red turn gray. _

_ **** _

_ Gray soul. _

_ Gray life. _

 

 

 

 

_ You made them all leave. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	21. Do You Promise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooooooot new chapter! thank you all so much for reading as always I love all of you!

_ The red-eyed Chara stood smirking at you, holding the shards of your gray soul in her hands, and carefully piecing them back together, some black tar flowing from her fingertips and going beneath the surface of your soul to hold it together. You coughed, weakly trying to stand up and hold your ground, only to crumple back to your knees. _

_ “Pathetic. Really and truly pathetic. You had so much potential, and now you can’t even manage to stand? How… amusing. I suppose you aren’t as strong as I. I take your determination, and you fall like a pawn, yet when I lose mine, I find the strength to keep going.” _

_ You said nothing, looking at the ground, feeling sick and scared. “What did you do?” _

_ “Nothing, really. It’s not like you had that much determination, anyways. I was sure all those crybaby thoughts of yours would be plenty to sustain me, seeing as it’s so  _ tedious _ to get determination without losing all of it. That doctor had a syringe when she extracted determination, but I had my bare hands. Of course, if Gaster hadn’t shown up, you’d be dead anyways, so I suppose I have that to thank, even if it meant that it took me a few hours longer to get all of it.” _

_ She pulled from her chest a black heart, and took the red liquid that had come from your soul and put it next to her black one. You watched helplessly as it absorbed all the red. _

_ “I never thought that you were so weak. Sure, feeding off of those thoughts… it kept me nice and strong. But with this… with your determination… _

_ “Hehe… maybe now  _ I _ can come back.” She looked at you distastefully. “I might as well check to see if you have any little droplets left. That soul is still a little too red for my liking. Of course, in its fragile state, I doubt you’ll survive. Not that I care one way or another.” _

_ With that, she clenched her hand into a fist, and the black ooze holding your soul together shot out of it and latched to your soul, crushing it with how hard they were clamped onto it. _

_ You shrieked in agony. _

As you came to, still screaming as the pain was still  _ very _ real, Undyne carrying you bridal style while sprinting. You couldn’t stop screaming, the pain in your chest agonizing. Everything was moving too slow, too unnervingly. The sights around you were blurred from tears, and you were spasming, trying to make the pain subside. Your soul, your soul, your soul, what happened to your soul?

“JUST HOLD ON!” Undyne yelled.

You couldn’t breathe. “Soul-- my… soul…”

“ALPHYS! ALPHYS, IT’S URGENT!”

The door opened, barely noticing you were in Hotland. You were scared. Terrified. The feeling was excruciating, consuming, intense…

“O-Oh god! G-G-Get her i-inside!”

You were on some sort of medical bed, sobbing, curled up in a little ball.

Alphys ran off to get her medical supplies, you guessed, seeing her rush out of the room with Undyne.

Your soul. Your soul, what happened to it, what was wrong with it? You shakily put a hand over your chest and tugged at the imaginary strongs, making your soul appear.

A thick, black ooze covered it, absorbing all the color from it.

Chara.

She was…

Undyne and Alphys came back into the room. You were screaming again, now hearing the sounds of your soul cracking, threatening to shatter.

“HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK--”

“D-DON’T TOUCH THAT UNDYNE! STAY B-BACK!”

You stared at the black ooze through your tears, watching as it fell from your soul, leaving huge cracks throughout the entire thing, but leaving the biggest ones right down the middle.

It was a gray soul.

Everything ached, and you laid on the medical bed, hiccuping and shuddering. Nothing mattered. You never knew why you even tried, because everything you ever did always went back to shit the moment you did anything. Why bother putting effort into anything if all it did was break you more?

You could see Alphys putting the black ooze in some kind of jar, and then turning to you. You cried harder. So weak, so worthless, such a piece of work and garbage. Nonexistent. Mistake. A literal, actual mistake.

_ “____! NO!” _

_ “You cannot do anything. None of us can.” _

“Kill me, kill me, kill me,” you moaned, writhing around. “I fucked it all up. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die, let me die, LET ME DIE, MAKE IT STOP!”

Alphys was holding a syringe with red liquid in it, and screaming something at Undyne in terror. They were both flipping out.

_ “HOLD ON!” _ Chara’s voice.

_ “She’s too far gone.” _

Alphys and Undyne seemed to agree, and Undyne came over and held your arms down. “What are you--” you started, just as Alphys stuck the syringe in your soul.

You choked, writhing around, howling, moving erratically.

A little bit of the red liquid was injected into your soul, but that was all you saw, as the darkness took over.

 

_ Where were you? _

_ You were in a black, endless void. _

_ You were wearing… some kind of white, silky dress that reached the ground, that had long sleeves that billowed at the ends. Your shoulders were exposed, but there was a little strip of fabric draped over them, similar to a tank top. From the bottom part of those straps, the long sleeves were attached. Your hair was long and glossy, and you had on some white flats. Flowers grew from your abdomen, your collarbone, down to your heart, and some grew on your legs. There was some kind of flower crown your were wearing with the same flowers that grew from you. They grew from your arms vertically, and around your wrists. One was growing from the corner of your lip, and they all whispered. _

_ Gray flowers covered you, whispering the last words you had spoke, or your intended last words from hundreds of timelines. _

_ You were cold. _

_ In the distance, two figures emerged, and you could hear one yell, “THERE!” _

_ You looked on in confusion, looking at your hands, confused. You reached up to touch your head, and you felt some more flowers, growing from your skull, sealing the flower crown to your head. _

_ You’d done some weird shit, and you’d seen some weird shit, but this took the cake. _

_ The two figures ran to you, and you recognized a brown-eyed Chara and Gaster. You were even more confused. _

_ “What’s going on?” you asked, staring at the flowers. _

_ Chara skidded to a halt, and looked at you with wide eyes. “Fuck, Gaster, she’s already--” _

_ “I can see, Chara. I told you, you had to watch your other half--” _

_ “Don’t you  _ dare _ blame this on me! You’re the one that didn’t destroy the other half when you had the chance because you wanted a way back! At least I stayed for her instead of my own selfish reasons!” _

_ “You little--” _

_ “What’s going on?” you repeated, louder. “What are you talking about? Where are we?” _

_ “Inside your head. This is where we live,” Chara said. “And this little fucker didn’t do his job!” _

_ “What?” _

_ “He lied to you, ____! He came to you to use your body as a vessel, to come back to the real world instead of the void. But now that you don’t have enough determination he can’t even stay.” _

_ “____, that’s only part of the story. I’ve been stuck in the void for so long-- you don’t understand-- never able to apologize-- to even try to make up for what I had done--” _

_ “You used me,” you answered. _

_ “Not without cause! I need to apologize, please, just… try to understand…” _

_ You looked at the scientist, whose melting form was squirming around uncomfortably. _

_ “If Chara can have some control as to how much power you have, then… I don’t care.” _

_ “You’re dumb. He was using you, c’mon! You’re my friend, I can’t see you be toyed with like this.” _

_ “I trust you, Chara.” _

_ “DO I REAALLLLY HAVE TO BE THE BABYSITTER?” _

_ “Please.” _

_ “FFffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffine. This one time. And no more people in your head. There’s only so much I can keep track of, ya know?” _

_ “Thank you,” Gaster breathed. _

_ The world around you grew hazy, fading to white. “What’s going on?” you asked, squinting as you covered your eyes from the light that was seeping into your vision. _

_ “You are waking up.” _

 

You groaned a little, adjusting your eyes to the bright  light above you. You were snugly tucked into some sort of quilt, yet for some reason, still on a medical table.

The smell of butterscotch pie invaded your nose. Sitting up, you grabbed your head, seeing as you were sporting a killer headache.

Sitting on the bed, you adjusted yourself to your surroundings, trying to remember what happened. You glanced at your arm, and winced. Your left sleeve was rolled up, and there was some kind of IV in it. Red liquid was coming from it, and you wearily wondered if it was blood. You weren’t going to be able to walk with it, though, so you ripped it out, turning off the machine next to you that was feeding you the liquid.

Slowly standing, you leaned against a wall as you took a few shaky steps forwards. You closed your eyes, trying harder to recall what happened. All you could remember was what you said to Chara and Gaster, and about how you didn’t have any determi--

Oh, god, your soul. Breathing heavier, you tugged again at the strings that were hidden and pulled out your soul. It was mainly silver, but some red glimmered in it. You groaned again, feeling sick. You didn’t know what it meant, but you doubted it was good.

You tried taking a few more steps, and finally reached the door. You opened it, trying to figure out where you were.

The corridors were dimly lit, and it looked somewhat like a lab, but it wasn’t any part of Alphys’s lab you’d seen before. Although, it was true that you never really snooped around much either.

From the end of the hall, you could hear people talking. Their voices were all low, and serious. They were too quiet for you to recognize. You walked to the end of the hall without voices, going into the darker part of the hall, tripping a little on a broken tile. The hallway opened up to a big room with a few big, squishy looking armchairs. You walked over to them in interest, looking around the room. There were two other hallways, but both were pitch black, and some strange noises came from them. You backed up and walked the other way, trying to keep yourself steady as you went. The voices began more defined the closer you got, and you could hear Alphys, Sans, Undyne, Frisk, Mettaton,  _ Papyrus (?) _ , Grillby, and…

Was that Toriel?

You kept walking, trying to go as fast as you could without falling, and staggered behind the corner of a wall, listening to what they were saying.

“...and she’s been sleeping for a little bit. Are you sure that that…. serum stuff worked on her? She’s a great friend of mine, I’m very worried.” That was Papyrus. Man, he could get really quiet sometimes.

“W-Well, she stopped screaming, and s-she’s not in pain anymore at least… the color is still gray. I added so much, I don’t understand why….” Alphys stammered.

Undyne piped up, “How long you think she’s gonna be passed out for, again?”

“I believe you said a week, yes?” There was Grillby.

“Y-yeah. S-so she’ll probably be out for a few more days. It was a hard hit to her soul.”

“What even happened? No one ever told me.”

“I don’t know if she’d want you to know, my child.” You felt your heart pound excitedly in your chest. That was Toriel. “I’m just glad Sans got me. I can’t believe I let the two of you go alone for so long…”

“Mom, there was no way you could know this would happen.”

“I feel bad nonetheless. As your mother, I should  _ always _ be there.”

“Mm, I wouldn’t sweat it, darling. I’ve only heard good things about you, and the king was overjoyed at your return.” Mettaton.

You heard Toriel’s voice get tight. “The king is lucky I didn’t turn heel the moment he saw me. The most I was able to do was convince him not to hurt my children, and that’s all I am willing to discuss with that whelp at this time.”

“Harsh,” Undyne said coolly. “He’s a better guy than you give him credit for.”

You could almost hear the fight about to happen, but Toriel seemed to just drop it. She was more of a peace-maker than a fighter.

“have you found out what the gray means yet? and are we sure she doesn’t need anything else? or that there’s nothing else we can do to help?”

“Sans, calm d-down. I think w-we all get that you two a-are close, but t-this isn’t the time.”

“this is the time. she should be comfortable and well-cared for.”

“I agree with Sans,” Grillby said. “If I hadn’t canceled, maybe she wouldn’t be…”

“We’ve already talked about this. This happened in the middle of the night. It’s no one’s fault.” Undyne sounded upset.

“Yes, I agree with Undyne. We’re lucky she was able to get her here in time,” Papyrus added.

“Indeed, darlings.”

“When’s the next time we can go in again?” Frisk asked nervously.

“I-I think in about t-twenty….”

You decided to walk out, still stumbling a little. No one noticed you but Sans, whose eyesockets widened before he teleported directly in front of you. You blinked at him in surprise a few times, but the first thing he did was hold your face and stare at your eyes, before grabbing your wrist and checking the pulse, and holding your left arm, running his hand around the point the IV had been in. You had forgotten to put your sleeve back down, and your scars were out for more people to see than you would want. Sans pulled your sleeve down for you, and double-checked your pulse. He looked scared.

“____!” Undyne said, standing up and running to you, about to give you a tight hug, before not-so- inconspicuously reconsidering and giving you a gentle one instead. “Oh my god, don’t you dare ever pull something like that again.”

Everyone gathered round and gave you a hug (Toriel hugging you tightest). Everyone except Sans, who looked stressed and guilty.

“H-how are you feeling? I need to ask you a few questions, okay? Can you… c-come with m-me, please?”

“Okay,” you murmured, following the lizard as she walked to another room.

***SANS**

*flashback to beginning of chapter*

I sat on m bed, my face in my hands. ____ had to be just about the most confusing person I had ever met. Dangerous, distant, sometimes extremely welcoming, others so cold that she didn’t let anyone in. This timeline was a lot. So much.

Maybe I couldn’t do this anymore.

There were a few times when I gave up, where I would stay in my room and not interact with either of the humans at all. Usually, in those cases, eventually there would just be a reset, but there was one where it was taking an unnaturally long time for anything to happen. And then ____ came to my door randomly and just started talking to me.

_ “So, I hear that you’re Paps’s brother? He talks about you a lot.” _

_ … _

_ “He misses you, did you know that? He said you haven’t left your room for weeks. I haven’t seen you at all, but my younger sibling says they know you. I, uh, don’t know how, but they talk about how you like puns, wear this blue coat, and… that you’re kinda lazy? They also say you really love your brother. Some other stuff too, but it seems like they’re leaving stuff out of the story.” _

_ I didn’t say anything. _

_ “Hey, I get that you have your own reasons for not showing up, or anything… but, I’m here if you need or want to talk to someone. I know we haven’t met before, but… Um, nevermind. So, I’ll be at Undyne’s house if you ever need me.” _

_ I looked at the door with pain. Slowly, I got up and went to open it, wanting to see if I’d even see her. I knew I shouldn’t have. I knew I should have went back to sulking on my bed. I swung open the door and saw a startled girl looking back at my door, which she had been walking away from. _

_ “Oh, uh… hi?” she said, turning back to me. I stared back at her, remembering her dying time and time again, and suddenly felt tempted to close the door again. “Hi. You okay? You look… upset.” _

_ “fine,” I replied flatly, starting to close the door. It clicked as I shut it and I locked it. _

_ “That sounds like somewhat of a fibula to me,” she said through the door. I could tell she had pressed herself against it by how her voice was muffled. _

_ I snorted, sinking down against the door. “heard it,” I said. _

_ “You still laughed,” she replied. I could almost hear the smile in her voice, and I found myself smiling too (well, more than usual). _

_ “yeah, well.” _

_ She laughed in a soft hum, and said softly after a moment, “You mind coming out?” _

_ “if i didn’t, i wouldn’t be in here,” I pointed out, raising my hand in a half-shrug as if she could see it. _

_ “... Papyrus misses you. I don’t know if you noticed by the lack of burned spaghetti smell, but he doesn’t even cook anymore. He just cries and sadly ‘nyeh’’s around the house instead. My younger sibling, well, they say… he cries himself to sleep.” _

_ “....” I opened the door again, and saw her standing there still. Her eyes lit up when I opened the door. _

_ “Thank you, Sans.” She smiled. _

I groaned, trying to erase the memory. None of it mattered anyways. Just because this timeline was different, didn’t mean that Frisk wouldn’t reset. All those old timelines were new at one point, too.

But in the other timelines, there wasn’t the constant danger of someone about to take over the body of the person you love and kill everyone.

So there was reason to keep an eyesocket out.

Alphys’s ringtone startled me, and I picked up my phone. “hey alph, what’s--”

“S-SANS! HOW Q-QUICKLY CAN YOU GET T-TO THE LAB?”

“what’s going on?” I asked seriously, standing up and putting on my coat. “is this like the amalgamates?”

“N-NO, IT’S ____--”

Oh god, of  _ course _ something happened again. i teleported to the lab, to see the bathroom door open. 

Alphys was in the lab, then.

This was bad.

I blipped to the lab, looking for Alphys, before hearing her and Undyne screaming on the floor above. I teleported again, and heard more shouts down the hall. I rushed into the room where they came from, and saw ____ lying on a table there, being held down, as Alphys injected some Determination into her soul. ____ screamed and wailed, thrashing around violently as Undyne held her down, before she fell limp.

“what the fuck happened?!” I yelled, grabbing her wrist and checking for a pulse. 

Barely there, but it was there.

She was crying, and whimpering in her sleep.

“I was just sleeping, when all the sudden ____ started screaming in her sleep and waving around like crazy, and I couldn’t wake her up, and so I ran here with her and she pulled out her soul and there was this black shit on it and all the red was going away and next thing I know Alphys is putting the black shit into a jar and calling you and screaming and her soul is gray and I don’t fucking know what’s even going on!”

I looked from the frenzied Undyne back to ____, who was sniffling instead of crying.

“I-I injected s-some d-d-determination into h-her soul so i-it wouldn’t be e-empty,” Alphys cried, covering her snout with her claws.

“good idea,” I muttered. “alphys, let me see that black shit. keep an eye on her, make sure that you get some more determination in her soul so it doesn’t crumble, then  _ carefully _ put it back into her body.”

Undyne nodded halfway, turning to her friend, taking the syringe with shaky hands.

Alphys handed me a jar with a black slime inside it.

Just like the slime before when ____ almost died at our house.

“do not let that get out, alph. that’s more dangerous than anything else right now. try to destroy it if you can, but don’t do anything without running it by me, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

I turned back to Undyne to see her delicately push the soul back into ___’s chest. “Should we call the rest?”

“we have to call the kid at least,” I said, feeling sick as ___ laid on the bed, almost lifeless. Not like this. Please, let her be okay... “...i’ll get them.”

  
  
  


It had been four days since ____ had almost died for the hundredth time, and everyone (even Mettaton, to my surprise) visited her often. Grillby looked anxious constantly, and kept having to go back to Fyr, so he spent most of his time over video call.

I had gotten the old lady after I had gotten Frisk and told her what happened, and she immediately left the ruins to help with anything she could.

We ran into Asgore, who was about to fight Frisk before Toriel stopped him, furiously berating him. She got him to promise not to hurt ____ or Frisk, before he left.

He brought tea by the third day, and tried to make amends with Tori, but to no real avail.

I sat in a circle with everyone (even Grillby, since Fyr was finally improving) as they talked with my skull in my hands.

Undyne and Toriel were about to start fighting about Asgore, but I said, “have you found out what the gray means yet? and are we sure she doesn’t need anything else? or that there’s nothing else we can do to help?” I looked up to Alphys nervously. All the qualities of a leader I had dissipated after the initial terror wore off, and was replaced with anxiety.

“Sans, calm d-down. I think w-we all get that you two a-are close, but t-this isn’t the time.”

I grimaced and looked up, whistling through my teeth as I retorted, “this is the time. she should be comfortable and well-cared for.”

“I agree with Sans,” Grillby added. I looked over in his direction. “If I hadn’t canceled, maybe she wouldn’t be…”

“We’ve already talked about this. This happened in the middle of the night. It’s no one’s fault.” Undyne looked at Grillby with bitterness, cracking her knuckles. I wrinkled the bridge of my nose.

It made me so uncomfortable when people would do that.

“Yes, I agree with Undyne. We’re lucky she was able to get her here in time,” my brother added.

“Indeed, darlings,” the glitzy asshole added.

“When’s the next time we can go in again?” Frisk asked nervously. They looked over their shoulder, then buried themself back into Toriel’s stomach. She hugged them back lightly, running her paws over their hair.

“I-I think in about t-twenty….” Alphys had been trying to limit visit times, since for some reason when people were around for too long, ____ would start freaking out again.

There were a few shuffling sounds, and I looked towards the hallway, to see a certain human, leaning against the wall and looking over at the group of us. I teleported in front of her and immediately looked into her eyes, searching for any hints of red. Chara was clearly an ever present threat, and I didn’t want ___ to be controlled by that brat again. She blinked a few times, looking slightly drowsy still. I couldn’t see any red, so I rechecked her pulse. Slightly elevated. I noticed she had ripped out her IV that had been feeding her determination on a desperate attempt of Alphys’s to get her soul to be red again. I could see many scars going all the way up to where the sleeve was rolled up. There was the one I’d seen before, but there was another big one that was vertical, going from her wrist and almost to where the IV was. I pulled her sleeve back down, remembering how she acted when I revealed I knew about her scars. Again, checking the pulse, it seemed to be back to normal, which was a mild relief.

A nagging though came to mind, and I looked back to ____ in worry. What if she was dying and we couldn't help her?

“____!” Undyne said, standing up and running to her friend and gently hugging her (with a lot of strain to not crush her, it seemed). “Oh my god, don’t you dare ever pull something like that again.”

Everyone gathered round and gave her a hug, including Grillby, who seemed a little detached. I was too scared to touch her, scared that something bad might happen if I did.After all, this all happened after I was with her.

Alphys tigged on her arm lightly, and stuttered, “H-how are you feeling? I need to ask you a few questions, okay? Can you… c-come with m-me, please?”

“Okay,” she said sleepily, holding onto the scientist’s sleeve as she walked away slowly. She turned around once, making eye contact with me before I turned away, sinking back into the chair I had been in before.

“her pulse is normal. so are her eyes. she’s gonna be fine for the moment, i think.”

“Her… eyes? I do not understand the significance.”

I looked at Grillby. Sighing, I waved it off, and muttered, “unimportant.”

“Should I get her a piece of pie to help calm her nerves? I brought some over, and I was intending to give it to all of you, but I’m sure I could give up at least one slice. Maybe Frisk would be willing to let their sister have their slice?”

“Yeah,” they said, looking towards the room ____ and Alphys disappeared into.

“nah, tori, give her mine, i’m not that hungry.”

“Sans, I couldn’t do that. Please.”

“tori, it’s cool. i was planning on giving the kiddo an extra slice anyways,” I said, waving her off.

“Are you sure?” Toriel looked uncomfortable.

“yeah, it’s  _ pie _ n.”

Everyone groaned except for Toriel, who let out a loud guffaw. “Well, I suppose I’d  _ butter _ let you do that then.”

More groans, and I chuckled back. “NO MORE PUNS!” Papyrus interjected, stomping his feet.

“Ah, well. Do you know what Alphys wished to discuss with ____?”

“no clue,” I said, closing my eyesockets.

“I haven’t got an idea,” Grillby told her.

“Me neither. I haven’t got a clue about what she wants with that darling.” I cringed at how Mettaton spoke.  _ God, _ I hated that robot.

“I dunno,” Frisk muttered, burying themself into Toriel again.

“I AM UNSURE!” Papyrus shouted.

“Don’t look at me,” Undyne muttered, picking at her nails.

***Y/N**

“Uh, so… I had a question.”

“‘Kay,” you told Alphys tiredly.

“R-Right. I wanted to know if I could see your, uh, soul.” Alphys twiddled her thumbs nervously.

“Okay,” you mumbled, pulling your soul out of your chest. The dull, gray surface barely glowed at all, you noticed. It’d been too bright to tell in the room you woke up in, but here, where it was dim and for the most part had no lights, it was obvious.

“Oh… it’s still gray… I thought maybe that you woke up because there was enough determination fed to you…. Oh! There’s a little red right here… Let me j-just take note of that really fast…” She scribbled something down on her notepad and set it down, then looked back to you. “Can I observe it a b-bit more?”

“Knock yourself out.” Although you were tired, looking at your soul made you feel even more exhausted than before. It was just so useless. What had Chara said, in that dream before you woke up to Undyne panicking again? Something about how she took all your determination, and how she could come back. What was the point? If that was true, then she won. It wasn’t like you were some great warrior like Undyne. You weren’t strong, physically or mentally. Your physical state lacked muscle almost entirely, and your mental state was in more pieces than your soul had been in that dream. 

Alphys studied the cracks in your soul, nodded a bit to herself and wrote some more things down. “M-mind if I ask some questions?”

“I’ll tell you if I’ve got any answers,” you said flatly.

“What do you remember?” she asked, holding her notepad a few inches from her face.

“Dying,” you told her. “Undyne freaking the fuck out--” Alphys cringed at your swear-- “...my soul with black stuff on it, and you putting some red stuff inside my soul.”

“A-Anything else?”

“No,” you lied. She didn’t need to know about Chara.

She would blame you.

She would find out about the last timeline and everyone would hate you and you would be alone all over again.

Sans and Frisk and Grillby knew, and to be entirely honest, you wished they didn’t. You killed Frisk and probably Sans and Grillby too, and even though they acted accepting of it, they were probably just scared that if they blabbed, you would kill them and everyone they loved.

Not as though you blamed them. They should just stay away from you. You insignificant, worthless, pathetic pile of shit.

It always went south. It was your fault. Your… fault….. Everything that went wrong, everything that happened, it was your fault. In fact, you were the reason monsters were still stuck. If you died, you’d give up your soul, you wouldn’t have to go back to the surface, the monsters would get out, Chara wouldn’t be a threat anymore, Frisk would have a wholesome family  _ without _ a broken burden, Toriel could teach, Papyrus would be able to drive, Undyne could be a police officer or pretty much anything she wanted, Grillby could get more business, and Sans... 

Well, there was a lot Sans could do. He could move into a house, tell puns to the whole world with all the material, relax, see the stars, the sky, the sun, the sunrise, the sunset, start… a family… with someone he loved…..

…

He wouldn’t have to be cautious of you.

…

And you weren’t dead, why again?

…. That really was the question, wasn’t it?

“_-____?”

You were abruptly brought back to reality. “What?”

“You spaced out….” Alphys looked at you a bit oddly.

“Oh… I do that. Sorry.”

“W-What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing important,” you told her firmly. “Just random train-of-thought things.”

“You l-looked really upset…”

You let out a little laugh. “Thought about a time when I was in school where I totally bombed this huge test.”

She giggled weakly. Good, she believed you. Always a bonus when they caved easily. Especially when it was a simple lie. Made them easier to tell fluently. “Alright, sorry. H-have you felt any different since your soul has changed color?”

You considered this. Was anything different? No, not really. You were tired, but that was more likely a side effect of being in a mini coma. Other than that, you still hated yourself and knew everyone would leave you and wanted to die. You also loved your friends, and your family (Frisk and Toriel), and the underground, but…

… you weren’t worth loving.

If you could just give up your soul so they could escape, then--! “No, nothing different,” you told Alphys. “I don’t think, anyways.”

She frowned, writing what you said down slowly, then clicking her pen and shutting her notepad. She sighed, pushing up her glasses. “Well, t-thank you. D-Do you mind if you stay h-here a bit longer before y-you go back home?”

“How long?” you asked, resisting the urge to yawn.

“A-A few days, at t-the most.”

“Like… two?” you asked hopefully.

“M-More like three o-or four.”

“Ah,” you said. You wanted to go to Waterfall and explore, to maybe… see that meadow again… You weren’t sure what drew you to that place, but you really did feel the need to go back. “Well, okay.”

“Thanks. You can g-go back to the others now. I’ve got some more w-work to do right n-now…”

“Alright,” you said in the same sleepy tone, and you picked yourself up and walked out of the room. You thought about how everyone except Sans hugged you. He just checked to make sure you were okay.

What if he secretly  _ didn’t  _ like you at all? You felt sick, and something started to tug at your heart in a painful way. What if you weren’t overthinking it when you thought he hated you? No one at school had ever really liked you, and that was about as far as your social life went up there.

You opened the door, blinking back tears. You just wished you had been born to some other family, or aborted, or adopted. Dead or a different life, but no. Your parents couldn’t have that.

It was their fault.

“Oh, my child! How are you feeling? Here, I have a slice of butterscotch pie for you. Please, have some, and we can catch up! It’s been quite a bit!”

You took the pie from Toriel’s hands, and took a bite. It warmed you up, and you hummed. “Thanks, Mom,” you said. It reminded you, that your mother was good now. That other woman, who was she? You merely shared some DNA. She was nothing to you, but Toriel was your true mom. She felt warm, safe, and right, like she actually cared. But she didn’t know everything, so you couldn’t tell her. She might leave. “I haven’t done much, honestly. I’ve met some people.”

“Well, that’s nice. I’ve been very worried, but also rather selfish, and I must apologize for that.”

“Oh Mom, no, don’t be. We’ve been fine. There’s no need…”

“Well, sometimes I just got somewhat of a bad feeling. But Sans always assured me that you two were fine, which was a relief.”

You were a little surprised. “Oh, I didn’t realize you guys talked.”

“Well, we had a little ongoing thing where we would only tell knock-knock jokes.”

You rolled your eyes scoffing a little. “Only you guys would do something like that…”

Toriel laughed, and you kept eating your pie quietly, feeling gross. No one really did like you, did they? You finished your pie, and put it on the table in between the chairs everyone had been sitting at. Looking around kind of dully, you said quietly, “You know, I’m still pretty sleepy, so I was planning on trying to go back to sleep.”

“Oh! Do you want me to come with you?” Toriel asked worriedly.

“No, thanks though.”

Frisk looked at you with the same worry Toriel had, and so you gave them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight, sweetie. I’ll talk to you later.”

Frisk hugged you unsurely, and told you goodnight, although they said it somewhat suspiciously. You walked back down the hall, to your room, before closing the door and lying back on the bed. To be honest, it was more like a table. With a very, very thin mattress on it.

At least it wasn’t a literal board. Like some other places you used to live…

No. Don’t go there anymore than you already have. They were gone. And, at least, out of everything, they couldn’t come  _ back. _

Yeah. That was a good thing. One of the few.

You sat on the bed, wrapping yourself in Toriel’s quilt. The warmth, while comforting, also made you sad. You weren’t exactly sure why, but you could feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. You laid down on the bed, placing your head on the pillow set on the bed. You turned over, shoving your face into the pillow to avoid people seeing you cry if those tears started spilling.

You must have been lying there for two or three hours before you heard the door open. Though you didn’t cry, you did just lie on your stomach, looking a little to your left.

There was silence, and you started wondering if the person changed their mind. Part of you wondered who it was, but mainly you were curious why they were there.

“... hey.”

Your heart started pounding suddenly, and now, despite one of your questions being answered, you began creating hundreds of scenarios in your head about why Sans was there. Some were positive, some were negative, a  _ lot _ were for some sort of joke he would probably make about why he was there, and even more were him just thinking you were asleep and walking out.

“i know you’re awake, ____.”

You tried your hardest the make yourself calm down, and you rolled over to face Sans, still cozily wrapped up in your quilt. “What’s up?” you asked sleepily, trying to make it seem like you weren’t as nervous as you were.

“thought you might want a better bed. alphys mentioned that you were gonna stay here a bit longer, so i fixed something up for ya.”

A small warmth filled you. “Oh, thanks, Sans, but you didn’t have to…”

“i didn’t, but i did anyways,” he replied, saying it in a joking way.

You smiled at him, picking yourself up, stretching a little, then picking up your blanket and pillow. He opened the door for you, and you turned the quilt to a cloak, holding your pillow under your arm. Sans laughed at you. “you look like an evil sith lord,” he snorted.

“Yes, good,” you said jokingly, elbowing him lightly. “That’s…  _ Star Wars, _ right?”

“it is,” Sans agreed, closing the door behind you and leading you down to the darker side of  the room. “you ever watched it before?”

“No, but you know, it’s pretty popular. I used to hear about it all the time back on the surface.”

“oh, we’re going to fix that.”

You snorted. “Nerd.”

Sans laughed and shrugged. “why not,” he said. “i like movies that have a lotta space in them, and we’re somewhat limited in the movie department.”

“Well, when I was on the surface, I liked to watch the sky, and the stars and sunrises and sunsets, if I could,” you told him, thinking about them. You missed the warmth of the sun somewhat, but you could give that up if you didn’t have to see  _ them _ again.

Sans opened a door just barely in the darker hallway, and you walked in, him following you.

You looked around the room. It wasn’t very big, but it led out to the room with the couches in it and also had an extra door near the TV.

This room was significantly better than the old one, you admitted. In this room, you had a little TV that you could tell Alphys made (it was a Mew Mew Kissy Cutie TV, only with some lizard-like traits), you had a big, squashy couch that had some pillows and sheets messily laid out on it, and you had, most importantly, you thought…

“IT’S GOT A SHOWER!” you bellowed, abandoning your quilt to run in. You had taken baths in the Underground, but not really a shower (besides Undyne’s house, but that water only came out at  _ intense _ speed, so you didn’t really enjoy it). You turned on the water, which was warm, and not dangerously like bullets. You walked out of the door that contained the shower, looking at Sans excitedly. He was grinning, as usual.

“thought you’d like it.”

You had hugged Sans and thanked him quickly, picked up your quilt and threw it onto the couch, when a question came to your mind. “Hey, is everyone still here? What time is it?”

“it’s ten, and everyone went home ‘sides tori and frisk. and, of course alph.”

“Well, duh,” you said jokingly. “Where are Mom and Frisk staying?”

“by that room we were in earlier. you’ll be able to tell which one it is; the kid’s already decorated it. i think they’re gonna be moving in with tori once they find a more permanent house.”

“Well, that makes sense,” you said, smoothing out your quilt. You set your pillow on top of the other ones, and sat down, cozying yourself up.

It was a really comfy couch. It was warm and squashy, and you greatly appreciated it. It made you feel better from before. Which reminded you of when you hung out with Sans before your soul situation. “Sans?” you asked as he went to leave the room and probably say ‘goodnight.’

“what’s up?” he asked, turning back to you.

“I… I have a question, about something I feel kinda bad about.”

Sans looked a little surprised, but he shuffled over and sat next to you. “i’m listenin’.” He reclined back into the couch, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Have you….. ever found out. About my scars, I mean. In the other timelines.” You said it quietly, because you were scared that somehow, someone else would hear. Sure, Undyne knew about some shit, but you had never blatantly said, “I’m covered in horrible scars and quite a few are self inflicted!”

Sans seemed like he had been expecting the question. He closed his eyesockets and sank further into the couch. “mm… no. this was the first time i’ve ever known.”

Fuck. “Oh… I thought maybe that I had told you before. Um, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else about them. I don’t like people knowing.”

“i wouldn’t ever do something like that,” he told you instantly.

You looked at him, and he looked back at you, looking concerned. You looked away, at the ground. “Do you promise?” Terror took over. What if he brought it up with someone? What if it slipped out? What if he did tell someone eventually? What if that happened? Or what if he left or wouldn't promise?  


A small silence, and you kept thinking and dreading his answer.

You knew he didn't like to make promises, oh god--

“i promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! If you want to leave any reactions, comments, criticism, or kudos, it is greatly appreciated! I hope you all have a good day!


	22. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA LONG CHAPTER UP SLIGHTLY EARLY ;) LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING and also there isn't a mention of christmas or anything here but i might do one next month? don't count on it for sure, but there's a chance :) I just didn't have anything ready for Christmas

Your heart did that fluttery thing again. Sans was still looking right at you, and now you felt embarrassed. What did you _expect_ him to say? Of course he wouldn’t tell anyone. And now you looked bad. You broke eye contact with him and looked the other way holding your quilt around yourself more tightly. “Thanks, Sans. Sorry for asking that to you on the spot.”

“don’t worry about it,” he said to you, stretching. “i get it.”

You hugged him gently. The angle you hugged him at, your face was buried in his shoulder. “Thank you,” you said softly.

Sans hugged you back briefly, then you two separated. You hid yourself further into your blanket.

***SANS**

I looked at ___. Hiding herself away under her blanket, she peeked out me, waiting for me to say something. She looked cute, but I knew she and Grillby were still planning on a date, and despite the jealousy, Grillby was one of my best friends, and I didn’t want to get in the way of his happiness, or hers, for that matter.

I stood up, yawning. “welp, i’m gonna hit the hay. i’ll talk to you later, ____.”

“Oh, uh, okay. Goodnight, Sans.”

I teleported out of her room, still not using the doors as a way to teleport. I had gotten used to the new way, which was good, I figured. Gaster (that fucking asshole) used to say that even though it was harder, it was significantly safer. Something about the doors and the void linking.

I never really used to care, but that bad feeling was new, and with all the other differences in this timeline, I trusted it.

Speaking of.

I blipped into the room Alphys was staying in, studying the black ooze. She let out a little shriek at my sudden appearance, and jumped backwards. “found anything else?”

“N-Not anything m-more than you’ve told me already. It hasn’t d-done anything,” she mumbled, collecting herself.

I frowned. What the hell was that thing doing? “keep it contained. if anything happens, tell me.”

“Y-Yeah, sure. U-Um, did you get _-____ into that other room?”

“yeah. she’s fine. you gonna run tests in the morning?”

“Yeah. And I-I’m going to monitor her through the night, too.”

“sounds good. and how’re the amalgamates?”

Alphys started sweating, and mumbled something about how she was spending more time with them.

I hadn’t known about them until the first timeline, but I told Alphys that I found out on my own each timeline since. I didn’t tell the rest about them because, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t know how to. Plus, the kid seemed to handle it fine, so I didn’t want to screw anything up.

Maybe it was just laziness, actually.

But it was Alphys who begged me to not tell anyone else, so there was that too. I wasn’t the “breaking promises” type.

Alphys said, “A-Anything else?”

“nah, i’m gonna go home. i’ll talk to ya tomorrow.”

“O-Okay. Goodnight, Sans.”

“night.” I blipped out of the lab back to my room, where I fell onto my bed. And just did nothing. It wasn’t like I usually slept at night anyways anymore, because the nightmares were seriously getting out of control, not to mention that ____ kept almost dying.

Great.

I opened my phone and scrolled through the Undernet dully. Mostly, there was just pun spam from me to Papyrus, but there was also science stuff and some star theories from monsters.

A lot of it wasn’t real, but certain things came from books from the surface.

I was still bored after an hour of scrolling through basically nothing, so I went downstairs to get some ketchup and watch a movie or something.

I watched some murder mystery movie of Papyrus’s, figuring the killer as the main character before the movie even ended. I put on another movie, but I finally passed out about halfway through.

_I was standing in the middle of a room with many giant windows and a checkered floor. There were pillars, too. Lots of them. In front of me, there was ____, with red eyes._

_She was holding a knife, covered in dust and blood, and her sweater was covered in the same stuff._

_We had already been fighting at this point, since I saw she was covered in bruises and blood. She panted, looking at me hatefully, with her nose crinkled in disgust._

_She ran at me again, slashing violently, trying to kill me with even more force than usual. She was swinging the blade so hard that her body was going in the direction that she swung the blade. I easily and swiftly dodged each slash, and summoned more bones to come at her. She let out a cry of frustration and anger and dodged the first few bones, but as she dodged the fifth one, she threw herself right into the sixth one. The bone pierced her through the leg. She let out a surprised shriek, and crumpled, lying on the ground, groaning. The seventh bone hit her in the stomach, and she screamed and let out an unworldly howl, coughing up blood, and thrashing a little, before lying still, with her mouth hanging open slightly._

_She kept screaming for some reason. She was dead and wasn’t moving, but the screams kept echoing in my head._

_Oh god, oh god, I killed her._

_again…_

I shouted when I woke up, throwing myself off the couch and accidentally throwing the bottle of ketchup across the room with my magic. The bottle hit the wall and fell. I noted that it was a good thing that the bottle A.) had been plastic and B.) had been empty. I picked up the bottle with my magic and threw it in the trashcan, and heard Paps’s door open. Pap was actually a fairly deep sleeper, which I attributed to him not sleeping for very long at night and never taking a nap. I looked at the door, confused since I didn’t yell very loud and because Pap conked out.

My brother walked out, looking worried. “SANS?” he asked in a tired voice. I was shocked that he was awake, especially since he didn’t even have training in the morning.

“hey bro,” I said, casually lying on the couch.

“SANS, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I HEARD YOU SHOUTING….”

“i’m fine, don’t worry yourself. got caught off guard by a jumpscare,” i said lazily, jamming my thumb in the direction of the TV. Pap looked at the TV.

“FROM _THE LADY AND THE TRAMP?”_ he asked skeptically. I looked at the TV. Damn, I hadn’t been paying attention. “SANS, DO NOT LIE. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?”

“jumpscare,” I insisted. “the dogs barked, and it startled me awake.”

Pap looked back at the TV and back to me, narrowing his eyes. “SANS, THIS IS THE SPAGHETTI SCENE. THIS IS THE BEST SCENE, I HAVE SEEN IT 8 TRILLION TIMES.” He looked at the TV again and then stared at me with a small frown.

I sighed. “look pap, i just got surprised. don’t worry yourself.”

“SANS, I’VE KNOWN YOUR MY WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU STILL THINK THAT I DON’T KNOW WHEN YOU ARE LYING? WHAT HAPPENED?”

“bro, it was just a nightmare. you’re star-ting to freak me out.”

“SA-- WAS THAT A PUN?”

I snickered.

Pap’s face fell slack and he made an annoyed face. “SANS, NO.”

“mhm.”

My brother rolled his eyes and yawned. “GOODNIGHT, SANS!”

“‘night.” Puns tended to be a good way to change the subject with Paps.

I teleported back to my room, and sat on my bed, rubbing my skull. I checked the time on my phone. 5 A.M. Great. Another day of exhaustion and constant napping. Well, the napping would be fine, but being tired all day (even more than usual) would suck.

I opened my phone, and to my shock (because who would be awake at 5 A.M. by their own will?) I had a text.

*____: “Hey”

I stared, bewildered. I knew _I_ wasn’t a morning person, but ____ tended to be extremely sour and jumpy in the morning. I checked the time she sent it. 4:41 in the morning.

What?

*”youre awake pretty early”

*____: “Alphys needed me for a little test and blood draw and then I couldn’t go back to sleep”

*____: “And then I got bored and I wanted to talk to someone”

*”and u came to me? im flattered”

*____: “Well, I texted Undyne too but she almost killed me and Alphys is sleeping and Frisk and Mom are also sleeping”

*”and here i was thinking u came to me first”

*____: “I did come to you first but you didn’t respond and I got bored”

*”i was asleep”

*____: “That’s not my fault”

*____: “You take 8 billion naps a day how do you sleep at all at night”

*”i take 8 billion more at night”

*____: “Guess I shoulda seen that coming”

I snorted to myself. *”yep”

*____: “How’s it going morning buddy”

*” ‘morning buddy ‘ ?”

*____: “Shhh”

*____: “It was the first thing that came to mind okay”

*”sure”  
*____: “Stoooop im tired okay”

*”mhm”

*____: “SANAS”

I burst out laughing. *”sanas”

*____: “I hate u”

*____: “Youre terrible”

*”i try”

*”morning buddy”

*____: “sans oh my god”

*____: “are we twelve”

*____: “are we playing this game”

*____: “are we not 22”

*____: “Wait actually speaking of how old are you”

I rolled my eyes, knowing this game.*”guess” I wanted to see if her answers would be the same as usual. They went: 22; 21; 24 (but she _really_ meant 23, according to her); and then 7 billion.

*____: “22…??”

*”nah” So far, so good.

*____: “21?”

Yep. *”wrong way”

*____: “24”

*”no”

*____: “7 billion”

As usual, she failed. *”you skipped a number earlier”

*____: “I meant 23 not 24”

*”i bet”

*____: “23***”

*”no”

*____: “What is it then”

*”23…. and ½”

*____: “u suck. u wanna play this game? ok. then when’s _my_ birthday”

Past timelines made _this_ game significantly easier. *” <insert birthdate>”

*____: “You cheated i do not believe u”

My smile widened. *”youve told me before”

There was a pause, about a minute long. I got a post notification from Alphys, but I ignored it. *____: “Goddamn it did I tell u before in a different timeline”

*”that u did”

*____: “That’s cheating you should have said something”

*”i did. the answer”

*____: “Thats NOT what I meant and u know it”

*”sounds like a personal problem”

***Y/N**

You found yourself smiling and laughing at your texts with Sans. You were so immersed, that you didn’t notice the door open and Alphys come into your room.

The only reason you did notice was that you got a post notification from Alphys (the second one after about a minute), and clicking on it, you saw a video of you in a quilt shawl, with your phone screen lighting up your face. You were giggling and you could EASILY tell that you were blushing. As you looked at the video, you felt your face get redder and redder. Then you got another post notification from Alphys, and clicked on it again, slower. There was a video of you laughing, and then you pausing to click on something, and then your face getting extremely red.

You shot your eyes up from your screen, and you saw Alphys, who squealed and quickly put away her phone. You just gaped at her. “_-___, I-I-I-I-I’m a-all done with the tests and e-everything looks g-good!!”

Your mouth hung open still. “You were videotaping me,” you accused.

“N-No I wasn’t!”

“I just saw them,” you said. “You were videotaping me,” you repeated, feeling humiliated.

Alphys started sweating. “L-Look, maybe a l-little, but y-you were so c-cute! I couldn’t h-help it. Y-You looked so happy and you’ve b-been having a r-rough w-week.”

“You don’t even know who I was texting,” you accused.

Alphys’s face grew into one giant smile. “I-I have a guess…”

“Oh yeah?” you said, crossing your arms. “Who?” You were waiting for her to say Grillby, but then Alphys threw you for a curveball.

“U-Undyne’s c-comment here s-says ‘Who wants to bet it’s Sans she’s texting?’”

Your face grew redder. “Undyne’s AWAKE? I texted her, what the hell? She was ignoring me!”

Alphys kept smiling. “W-Well, she might h-have just woken up…”

Your face reddened. “Can you delete the videos please?” you asked, trying to stay calm as you felt embarrassment and anger bubble inside of you.

“Aww….” You gave her a harsh look. “O-Okay, okay!”

You watched her as she deleted the videos, just to make sure she did. You felt incredibly embarrassed, and you hoped to god that Sans did not see the videos.

Your phone pinged and you quickly glanced at it, seeing Sans had texted you earlier. Undyne was the one who had just texted you though, so you ignored it.

“So, u-uh, I wanted to t-tell you everything I’ve found on w-what gray means i-in monster culture.”

You immediately looked to her. “Did you find any reason why my soul turned gray?” you asked anxiously, starting to feel fear take over the previous humiliation in your gut.

“N-Not exactly… But there have been other instances of souls losing color, changing color, e-even turning g-gray…”

“Tell me about them,” you urged.

“H-Here, let’s sit down,” Alphys said softly, gently sitting you down on the couch and then sitting next to you, anxiously playing with her hands. “S-So which part do you want to hear first?”

“Which comes first?”

“Well, I-I guess I should explain the other cases first… P-Please know that there’s nothing definite yet…”

“Okay.” You started feeling really sick, like you were going to vomit.

“Okay, s-so…. There’s five noted cases of souls turning gray, but they’re all either very old, or… not even real for sure. A-and it’s only about monsters. There aren’t any c-cases of humans, as far as we know. But for monsters, two of them, their children died, and they eventually separated because of disagreement over what to do. I’ll g-get to them later, but the other three cases a-are all very odd. One, it was a rabbit monster who was in the battle between humans and m-monsters, and after being trapped in the barrier with all of us, she tried her b-best to assist scientists in destroying it. S-She was the S-Second in Command of the Royal Guard back then, s-so she was very strong a b-big asset in the war. After monsters realized we needed human souls to break t-the barrier, we attempted to see if we could use monster souls instead, w-without killing the host. The rabbit donated her soul t-to the cause, bu-but when they tried to use it on the barrier, it began to crumble and went dark gray r-right before it shattered and she t-turned to dust.” You cringed, feeling sick. Not good so far. “The last two… they’re so vague, it’s hard… but I found something about an… Arial?”

There was suddenly a painful twinge in your head, and suddenly, Chara said, _“Gaster, what’s wrong? What happened? C-Calm down, dude, what the hell?”_

 _“A-$i%#...”_ He was speaking in that weird language you couldn’t understand, and you winced again. Gaster started freaking out inside your head; you could tell he was moving around in a panic by the static noise filling your ears.

“H-Hold on… Alph… Really… quick..” you wheezed, putting your head in between your finger and you thumb.

Gaster kept almost crying, it seemed, speaking in the odd, warbling language. _“@^!# &, #’*) $/&&~...” _

_“Gaster, what are you doing?”_ you groaned mentally. _“Stop it….”_

_“@!%# &...” _

_“STOP IT!”_ Chara suddenly bellowed, making your ears ring.

Gaster grew quiet after Chara’s outburst. _“My apologies,”_ he said quietly.

You didn’t ask him why he started crying, because it was obvious to you that somehow, he knew this Arial, and that it was a painful memory.

“A-Are you okay?!” Alphys squeaked, looking horrified.

“Y-Yeah, sorry, just got disoriented a second there… you mentioned an Arial?”

She looked at you unsurely before continuing, checking your pulse as she spoke. “Yes… Arial. She used t-to be a scientist, and was born some fifty, sixty years a-ago. Arial was actually _born_ with a gray soul, according to the reports I found. S-She was perfectly normal, v-very happy… S-She died young, according to this. She got… married, at some p-point I think, I couldn’t tell exactly…. But a-anyways, a-after her s-second child, she p-perished.” Alphys drew back to herself. “Th-The final case is one Millow Grove, a small mermaid--”

“Mermaid?” you asked. You didn’t know about them.

“Y-Yes, he was a mermaid, according to these reports. Half f-fish, half beast, m-moreso. He l-looked somewhat l-like Aaron, o-only he looked more b-bearlike. T-That’s what the reports say, at least… They had a sketch, b-but it was somewhat messy… His soul turned gray a few days b-before he fell down, and eventually died. W-Was very secluded…”

“Okay…” you said quietly, then you remembered the couple Alphys mentioned. “What about that couple again?”

“T-They’re still alive.” Your eyes widened. “Y-You know them.”

“WHAT?” you bellowed, and Alphys quickly shushed you.

“B-But their souls a-are a little different! The reports s-say that they’re b- _barely_ gray. M-More white.”

“Who are they? And what do white souls mean?”

“... The K-King and Queen. T-Toriel and A-A-Asgore.” You felt like you had just been hit by a trillion bricks, and felt hope.

“Mom?” you said. “S-She has a gray soul too?!”

“Last time w-we looked… Keep in mind that th-these are super old reports… Thing’s might have ch-changed, which is what w-we should want.”

“Why?”

“B-Because there will be a w-way to reverse it.” Your heart thudded in your chest. Alphys pushed up her glasses. “A-And to answer your other question… White souls mean gentleness usually. M-Most monsters have white souls.”

You stared. “And... “ You looked down. “Gray means what, again?”

Alphys started to clean her glasses nervously. “W-Well, it can mean a multitude of things… But down here, it generally tends to means… nothing.”

“You said it meant something,” you said a little angrily, looking at her. “What-- What does it mean, Alphys?” you begged, starting to cry.

Alphys looked shocked and quickly hugged you,, trying to comfort you. “I-I meant, it means nothing. L-Like emptiness…” Hope drained out of you and your heart plummeted, and you started crying harder. So your most defining character trait was _nothing._ Great, good to know. Your most defining character trait was now literally absolutely _nothing._ It was a new record for yourself! You thought you couldn’t get any lower, but here you were, with a gray soul that meant you didn’t have a personality at ALL. You felt _just_ lovely. Peachy. Except not _peachy,_ because that was a color, and that would indicate you had some sort of personality! “____, c-calm down! Th-There’s another meaning!”

You wondered bitterly how it could get any worse than nothing. “What?” you sniffed, pulling away and wiping your tears away.

“I-It also can m-mean independence or sadness.”

You didn’t see how this helped.

Nothing, or a loner, or sad.

These were all clearly undesirable traits, and you did not appreciate it. You especially hated it because it seemed so true. They easily applied to you. Was there a ‘liar’ trait also associated with gray? Because if so, you were surprised your entire being was not gray. ___, the gray girl.

“W-We aren’t sure if that applies to souls though, m-monsters can be so superstitious that I-I would take it with a grain of salt. It doesn’t even really apply, since y-your red was sucked out of your soul…”

And that was when it hit you.

Chara hadn’t truly just sucked all that determination out of you, had she?

No, your soul began losing that red color before Chara tried anything. She just struck while you were weak. 10 HP, a soul that began to lose its pigment slowly but surely…

This… had been happening since the beginning. Your soul was withering away long before… Long before….

How did you even know if it hadn’t been wilting _before_ you entered the underground?

Independent, pushing everyone away, taking care of yourself and Frisk and doing everything for your parents.

Sadness. Well, that was obvious…

Emptiness. You’d felt that way a long, long time.

No, your soul had been wasting away since the beginning, Chara just sped up the process. And when you were in that weird void, with good Chara and gaster in your coma--!

Those gray flowers, they said something like, _“It’s starting,”_ right? That white dress, you couldn’t explain. But those flowers, those dead echo flowers… They lined right up, didn’t they?

It was just speeding up the process, you were sure of it. The process of the end. You were being undone.

Erased.

“Does this… kill people?” you asked blankly.

“W-WHAT? No! No! No m-matter the c-color of your soul, i-it doesn’t affect t-that. That’s based on the soul’s structure.”

“Does it erase them?”

Alphys gave you a look. “If it erased them, h-how would there be other cases?”

Fair point.

But they weren’t humans, were they?

“A-Anyways, t-the last thing I wanted to mention was that souls d-do change color sometimes. I-It took some digging in the archives, but i-its actually somewhat c-common amongst humans, or a-at the least the last time w-we were on the surface, it was. Kids tend to all be t-the same soul color, and as they g-grow up, it changes for lots of them.”

“What color did they tend to be?” you asked.

“A-Ah, purple or red. P-Perseverance is what’s g-generally put with purple, and r-red is determination.”

It made sense, in a way. “What about monsters changing soul colors?”

“M-Monster souls tend to be more pastel colors, but i-its the same meaning as it i-is for humans. The colors don’t change meanings. For monsters, it merely reflects their trait...”

You slumped down further. “Okay. Well, this has been great to know.”

“A-Actually, the fact I found those old reports is very lucky… You’ll only have to stay here for today, now that we have some info a-and people who are alive and nearby w-with gray souls. Once Toriel wakes up, I’ll tell h-her everything, and I’ll g-get Asgore, and then I’ll talk to both of them alone.”

“I can get Asgore,” you offered. Alphys looked startled.

“B-But… You’re a human?”

“That’s okay,” you told her. “I need to meet him at some point.”

Alphys just gave you a half-nod, and slowly told you, “Well… I guess that’s true…” She turned to look at the clock, and started panicking. “6:12? O-Oh no.. You’d better hurry to the castle, Asgore gets up really early, and if we don’t nab him early, he might be too busy to come over and you’ll have to stay here a little longer, since we won’t have as many variables.”

You got up and shooed Alphys out to quickly get dressed, tying your hair in a loose ponytail. And then you rushed out of the lab, taking one of the elevators to get to the castle more quickly.

You jogged through the MTT Resort, and reached the core, picking up the pace to get there quicker. You looked at your phone a moment to check the time, before you ran into something full force, feeling yourself begin to topple backwards. A big, furry hand grabbed your before you could fall though, and you looked up to see an incredibly tall goat monster with a gold beard and a gold--

crown…

Great way to meet the king, by running into him literally.

“Oh dear,” he said. He had a very welcoming and fatherly voice, with a bit of an elegant, kingly (for lack of a better word) accent. “Are you alrigh-”

His eyes widened a little, realizing you were a human. “Yeah, I’m okay, thank you.”

“Are you the other child belonging to Tori?”

Tori? You didn’t really know anyone who called your mom that. “Yes, you ran into my younger sibling, Frisk, earlier.”

“...” He was a little quiet for a moment, but he broke into a warm, friendly smile. “Well, it is very nice to meet you. I’m glad we did not have to fight. Would you like a cup of tea?”

This wasn’t what you were expecting at all. Toriel made subtle comments frequently about Asgore, and they tended to not be very nice. “Oh, that’s okay! Alphys wanted to come get you and bring you over to her place, but I, uh, volunteered. But, haha, she still wants me to get you for the lab.”

“Here, I’ll be right back,” Asgore told you, rushing off. You stood behind awkwardly, wondering if you should follow him or not. You felt like a four year-old. Luckily, Asgore returned about three minutes later, holding a cup of tea. It looked so teeny in his hands, and he carefully handed you the tea.

“Thank you,” you told him, smiling a little nervously. You took a sip of the tea. It was really good, and reminded you somewhat of Undyne, but you couldn’t think of why, until you realized it was the tea she had. “Undyne’s given me this kind before,” you mentioned to Asgore as the two of you walked.

Asgore laughed heartily, and you found it slightly contagious and laughed a little, too. “Did she really? Golly, she must have liked it more than I thought. She has it every time she comes over, but I never realized she had her own as well.”

“Hah, she drinks it 24/7. I think she puts it in her thermos when she exercises.” You were finding yourself enjoying Asgore’s company. He _was_ a big, fluffy pushover, just like Papy had said a long time ago.

“Are the two of you friends?” Asgore asked politely, choosing a floor on the elevator.

“She’s my best friend,” you told Asgore, snorting. “She’s a big nerd.”

“I’m somewhat surprised. She generally does not have the best opinion of humans.”

“No, she didn’t like me at all when we first met,” you said instantly. A small smile crossed your mind when you thought of it, and you took another sip of tea. “Understandably, though you know. The barrier and all that…” You trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty. These wonderful people all around you were still trapped because you were too selfish to give up your soul. And it was a useless soul otherwise, too. Nothing more than a gray burden with all kinds of danger attached.

“The barrier,” Asgore repeated, sighing. “I understand how you must feel about that horrible thing. But please, let me assure you, that is in no way your fault.” You looked at him, startled. What? “You had nothing to do with the creation of this barrier, er…” He looked at you unsurely. “What was your name, again? I don’t believe I asked earlier.”

“Oh, um, ____.”

“That is a lovely name,” Asgore commented.

“Thanks,” you replied. The two of you stepped out of the elevator and walked to Alphys’s lab, over to the elevator. She had turned the giant hole in the wall Mettaton had made into an elevator. Part of you wondered how she got to the lab before then, but you brushed it off. It didn’t matter.

You glanced at the bathroom before you and Asgore walked into the elevator.

You didn’t know why, but that bathroom seemed odd to you. No real reason for it, it was just odd.

The two of you went down, to see Alphys talking to Toriel kindly. Asgore’s eyes lit up for a moment, but then he sunk and recoiled. “O-Oh good,  Asgore! I-I j-just had some questions for you.”

You looked at Toriel, who gave Asgore an angry look and turned away.

You decided this was your cue to go. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Asgore. See you later, Mom.”

Toriel gave you a hug and Asgore politely told you goodbye, looking more melancholy than before.

“Sissy, can I come with you?”

“Sure, sweetie. C’mon.” Frisk ran up to you, yelling bye to Asgore, Alphys, and Toriel, before grabbing your hand and getting in the elevator with you. “How are you, honey?” you asked, leaning over to Frisk so you were closer in height.

“I’m good,” they said energetically. “How about you, Sis?”

“Much better,” you lied.

“That’s good. I was really worried.”

“I’m sorry to put you through that,” you told them. You felt your heart sink again. And that was another thing. Did you _always_ have to play the victim card?

“It’s okay!” they chirped, holding your hand tighter. The elevator chimed and you walked out. “Where are we going?”

“I didn’t have anywhere in mind, I just didn’t want to be there for all that. Alphys was going to talk a bit with them.”

“‘Bout what?” Frisk asked.

“Dunno,” you lied again. “What do you think it could be?”

“Maybe marriage counseling,” Frisk said seriously. You laughed.

“I don’t think they’re together anymore,” you said.

“They both still like each other, though,” Frisk said matter-of-factly. You crinkled your eyebrows together.

“How do you know?”

Frisk suddenly got quiet, and after a second, anxiously said, “W-Well, I-I just know.”

Lies. Frisk was not very good when it came to lying. “Oh, uh-huh. Sure.”

“It’s just a feeling,” they said defiantly.

“Whatever you say,” you said jokingly, nudging them.

They slapped your arm a little and pulled you out of the lab towards Waterfall.

“Let’s talk to Gerson a little, sis.”

“Sure, whatever you want. Wanna go to Grillby’s for breakfast after?”

You two walked towards the cave. “Okay,” Frisk said, walking into the little cave Gerson stayed in.

“Whoa there, kiddos! How’re you guys doing?” Gerson asked as you entered the cave.

“Well, thank you,” you said. “How about yourself?”

“Doin’ great! Just gave up some of my books and some old reports from the war I had to the royal scientist. Said it was urgent.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize Alphys came over,” you told him.

“Bwahaha! Well, she did! I was surprised myself, she barely ever leaves that lab nowadays. Figure she’s doin’ something, though.”

“Yeah,” you said. “You said she got some books? About what?”

“Well, they were books written during the war by the prophet.”

“Prophet? Wha?” you asked.

“She was a monster that could foretell the future,” Frisk told you.

“Aye, she was. She was the one that told the famous prophecy about the angel.”

You felt stupid. Why did you not know anything anyone talked about these days? Well, maybe part of it was that you practically flunked high school. And middle school, and elementary school, and if you had gone to preschool, you would have probably failed that, too.

Or it could be that you were just uninformed, but you suspected it was a combination of the two things. “Um.. what angel?”

Gerson laughed again, and the feeling of stupidity surged back. “The angel,” he started, “is what people think are gonna rescue the monsters from the underground. The prophecy is, ‘The Angel... The One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return. And the underground will go empty.’ That’s what the Delta Rune represents, accordin’ to some. They think those wings’re the angel or something. Lately, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook on the whole angel topic… Callin' that winged circle thing the 'Angel of Death'. A harbinger of destruction, waitin' to 'free' us from this mortal realm… In my opinion, when I see that little circle… I jus' think it looks neat! Wahaha!”

You went quiet when he said ‘Angel of Death.’ “‘Angel of Death’ how?”

“Well, they think that an angel will come and wipe us out. Kill everyone.”

The color in your face drained and you felt lightheaded and sick. You tried to open your mouth to say goodbye, but all you managed was to open and close your mouth. “Bye,” you said hoarsely.

Frisk started to protest, and you told them you would wait for them at Undyne’s house.

They agreed and you stumbled out, covering your mouth as you felt vomit start to rise in the back of your throat. You didn’t make it to the house before you began to throw up, coughing and gagging.

Horrible things were flashing back in your memory.

_“You really hate me that much?”_

_“SIS, STOP! PLEASE-- HELP ME! HELP!”_

_“I BELIEVE IN YOU…”_

_“Papyrus… Oh god… What did you_ do _to him?!”_

_“So… you won’t be joining my fanclub then?”_

_“O-Oh god… RUN! EVAC--”_

_“on days like this…”_

You kept throwing up, wheezing. You tried to keep the tears from falling, and staggered to Undyne’s house, bursting through the door and nabbing the trashcan as you continued to vomit. Undyne should have been at work at this time, so you didn’t have to worry about that. The vomit finally stopped coming, and you looked at what you even threw up, since you hadn’t eaten anything recently.

Your eyes widened. It didn’t taste like blood, but that’s exactly what it looked like, with little… things in it. You couldn’t really tell, but you looked at the outline of them.

Flowers?

…. What the fuck, you’d just thrown up flowers and what you could only assume was Determination.

There was no way you were telling Alphys or Frisk or anyone about this. Then you’d be stuck there for who knows how long, and you didn’t want that. Your time was going to get shortened, and you sure as hell were not gonna get it extended.

You picked yourself up and went outside to clean up the rest of the vomit because… ew, no one wanted or needed to see that. But when you walked out, there wasn’t any red stuff.

There _was_ a small patch of gray flowers though. You stared at them, taking several steps back. You forced yourself to go back to them and to try to rip them out, but when you did it, tearing them out, there was loud screams from the voice in the back of your head.

_“WORTHLESS--”_

_“--nO OnE cArEs--”_

_“wHY botHER--”_

You ripped them out completely, and threw them into the garbage disposal at your house fearfully.

The voices stopped to your relief.

There was some knocking at the door  right after, and, figuring it was Frisk, you opened the door.

It was _not_ Frisk.

Flowey was right in front of you, grinning. “Howdy!” he said.

You gaped. “ _You,”_ you managed to say.

“ _Me,”_ Flowey said back mockingly. “I told you I wanted to talk to Chara. She’s still there.”

“No, she isn’t,” you said nervously. Chara stayed quiet in your head. “Did you not hear the commotion?”

“Oh no, trust me, I heard your whiny screams and I know that part of her is gone. However, she’s out of my reach right now. I know that there’s still a part of Chara within you. I _won’t go_ until you let me talk to her.”

You gritted your teeth. “Fine. I’ll tell you what she--”

“ _No,_ I want to speak _to_ her.”

Involuntarily, your eye twitched and the corners of your lips curved downwards. _“Chara.”_

 _“I’ll only take control of your words. You’ll have control of your body,”_ she muttered, and you begrudgingly agreed.

Suddenly, it felt like the wind was knocked out of you, and you looked up to see Gaster. _“Hello, ____,”_ he said.

 _“Hi,”_ you said quietly. You checked to see if you could move your arms, and you felt a weird sensation of not only the arms of your own moving, but some sort of other arms moving too. You looked around the black void and saw something akin to a screen. It had the view of what your body was seeing, looking down at Flowey.

“What’s up, Asriel?” you heard yourself say, but with Chara’s voice echoing right next to it.

You blinked in confusion. _“Asriel?”_

 _“Indeed,”_ Gaster said, nodding. _“That’s his true name.”_

You were bewildered. Why would he give you a fake name? There didn’t seem to be any reason, and you narrowed your eyes, trying to think.

“Chara, it’s been so long.”

“It has.”

“... You’re the only one that understands, Chara. None of these other _idiots_ get it. The one who gets it even a little bit is scared of me and don’t even understand completely.”

“... I do get it. Without a soul… there’s no real way.”

“You’re sharing a soul right now, so you must feel it. At least a little.”

“I do feel right now. But there’s been other times where I haven’t.”

“Is the only way to feel that again…. is the only way to have a soul?”

“I don’t know, Asriel, I’m sorry.”

“No one knows,” Flowey spat, looking upset. “Chara. Please.”

“I’m sorry, brother. I wish I could help.”

Flowey stayed silent, before he disappeared into the ground with a small, “I’ll be seeing you.”

Chara suddenly let you regain control, and you felt like a gust of wind hit you as you retook yourself. You blinked, and processed what you just heard. “Brother?” you asked.

_“.... Yes. Don’t ask about it.”_

You went quiet as you remembered what Chara said to you when you first met her good side.

About her brother, dying, his dust being spread over the flowers…

Flowey was her brother from that story.

“Sissy, I’m ready!” Frisk said, walking up to you.

“Okay, let’s go,” you replied, taking their hand again and walking to the little duck that carried people across the river, and traveled to Snowdin together.

You chatted to them and asked how they slept, which Frisk replied to with a simple, “Okay.”

“Why just okay?” you asked, walking towards Grillby’s with them.

Frisk’s little button nose wrinkled, and they said, “My bed was really uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“Mom shared it with me and I got REALLY hot. She’s all fur and the heater was turned up high. I think I melted.”

“Did you now?” you laughed.

“Don’t laugh! It _sucked,_ sissy.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, if it happens again tonight and Alphys doesn’t have another bed ready, you and I can share, okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” they told you. Spotting Grillby’s up ahead, they tugged on your arm and pointed. “Let’s go, sis! I’m hungry!”

You laughed again, picking them up and walking to Grillby’s. “We’ll get there when we get there,” you teased.

“Sis! NO!” they squealed, trying to squirm out of your grasp. You started tickling them, which made them burst into a fit of giggles and protests, trying to worm away with even more force. “____! SISSY, STO-- _hahahaha_ \--STOP IT!”

You kept tickling them on the way to Grillby’s, even though you still felt pretty down and frightened about those gray flowers. “You thought I was a human, but it was really all a ruse,” you said nonchalantly as you kept tickling them, making them squeal. “I’m _actually_ the tickle monster.”

And then you tickled them with even more aggression. Frisk laughed even harder, pushing you a bit. “Seriously, sis!”

“Okay, okay,” you said, putting them down again.

Frisk tried to catch their breath, and then gave you a pouty look. “You suck,” they mumbled.

“So I’ve heard,” you joked.

Opening the door to Grillby’s for the little angel, Frisk walked in, you followed.

It was a little more empty than usual, with the Dog Squad (as Sans dubbed them) and Carly was sitting at the bar with the fish(maybe part bird?) monster and the sparrow monster. Fyr was sitting at a table with Aaron (oh good god, no, avoid him, avoid him…), a monster you’d never met before who looked like he was one of Fyr’s classmates, and her friend that you saw her hang out with constantly.

Sans was sitting up at the bar, chatting with Grillby casually. You noticed he had a ketchup bottle in his hands. There was only one free barstool (Lesser Dog’s chair), so you told Frisk to sit at the open booth while you got food for them. They told you they wanted an egg sandwich, and you told them you would get them that and a glass of milk or something.

Grillby seemed like he was deep in conversation with Sans, so when you flicked the side of Sans’s skull to announce your presence, he got startled as well. You wouldn’t have been able to tell if it wasn’t for him jolting backwards and a small flash of flame for his hair spiking.

“Hello, ____. How are you feeling?”

“Hi. I’m feeling good, thanks for asking. Frisk and I came over to get some breakfast.”

“oh?” Sans asked. “i’m kinda surprised alphys let you leave. she was all spazzy yesterday about you having to stay a while.”

“Well, I was going to, but she got a lot more data about the whole thing. She’s just interviewing people right now, I think. I’m supposed to get out in like, a day, maybe less.”

Sans’s eyesockets widened, and Grillby looked surprised as well. “That’s wonderful, I’m very--” Grillby cut himself short, and you saw the yellow eyes narrow. You turned to look at what he was looking at, and you saw that the other monster you’d never met before had his arm around Fyr, and was kissing her.

Aggressively.

You felt incredibly uncomfortable, and to your surprise, Aaron also looked grossed out, and he grabbed the other girl’s shoulder and pulled her away, coming up to the bar. “So, Grillbz, I know that you don’t like breaking up couples and stuff, but your daughter and her boyfriend are making me and my cousin real uncomfortable. ;(“ Aaron glanced back at the couple, and then looked back to Grillby painfully.

Grillby looked very angry. You were scared for Fyr, because it looked like her boyfriend was about to become dust. The flames all around him were crackling loudly, and they were rising, even on his arms. His suit began to get burned, and he slammed his rag on the bar angrily, making Fyr look over, startled.

“Oh no,” she said, trying to conceal herself in the booth. The other monster didn’t seem to care though.

His mistake.

Grillby marched over, and then looked at the boy, seething. You leaned against the bar, trying to conceal your giggles as the boy continued to be oblivious,

“E x c u s e  m e , “ Grillby said darkly.

Fyr shrank. “Hi, Dad,” she squeaked. “Listen, Kuff, let’s go somewhere else--”

“Oh no!” Grillby said. “I have told you _time and time again,_ you are _not_ to be around Kuff!”

“Well, I’m gonna go, babe. Seeya Fy--”

Grillby grabbed the boy by his hood, looking at him angrily. The boy, Kuff, pretended like he didn’t notice, and tried to walk away, marching quickly, but going nowhere. “I  t h o u g h t  I  t o l d  y o u  t o  s t a y  a w a y  f r o m  m y  d a u g h t e r , “ he growled. Kuff looked comically scared. “Fyr, go to your room,” Grillby said darkly. Fyr just sighed and went to her room.

You were confused. Like, you _got_ that it was disgusting to see your daughter and her boyfriend be all over each other, but this seemed to be a little bit of an overreaction.

“What’s the problem with that kid?” you whispered to Sans as Kuff stopped jogging and began to run.

Sans looked at Kuff disgustedly, which surprised you. “the problem with that _kid_ is that he’s not a kid, he’s the same age as _us_ ,” he said disparagingly.

You looked at him, horrified, and gave the Kuff guy a repulsed look. “That’s _disgusting,”_ you told Sans.

“grillby went softer on him last time, but i don’t think that kid’ll come near fyr again if he knows what’s good for him. she keeps insisting he goes to her school, but he’s a teacher there. grillby found out about it last week and told her not to go near him. looks like she didn’t believe ‘im.”

“GET OUT OF MY BAR OR I’LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU’RE DUST!” Grillby hollered, and Kuff ran out, being scorched all the way, howling.

Frisk peered from around the booth, looking alarmed.

Grillby just dusted himself off and walked behind the bar again. “My apologies. This has been an ongoing issue. Let me take your order, so Fyr and I can have a little discussion.” Grillby still looked furious, and you didn’t blame him. You just gave Grillby Frisk’s order, and he told you to go sit down and he would bring it out momentarily.

Grillby walked to the back and Sans just eyed the dent in the counter Grillby made. “he’s gonna be really peeved about this later. this was brand new,” he told you. You snorted a little walking back to Frisk.

“Feel free to join us,” you told him, scooting next to Frisk.

“noted,” Sans said, waving you in acknowledgement.

“Grillby was really mad at that dude,” Frisk said, hushed.

“He’s had an issue with that guy recently. Don’t stress over it.”

Grillby brought over your food and you both thanked him, and you pushed the plate to Frisk, who began to chow down.

“I am very sorry for my behavior, that man just--”

“Sans told me. He’s repulsive, I’m sorry that you have to deal with that freak.”

Grillby sighed and pushed up his glasses. “Fyr is too trusting sometimes. I’ll have to be more cautious. Speaking of, I need to have a discussion with my daughter. I’ll talk to you at another time.”

“Later, Grillby,” you said. It was still weird to you that he liked you. And weirder that you had a date you were going to go on with him. You felt guilt weigh down on you again and just relaxed into your seat, pulling down your sweater sleeves.

“Dis is _really_ yummeh,” Frisk said, their mouth full of food. “What’d *gulp* _you_ get, sis?”

“Oh, I thought I’d hold off for a bit.”

“Sis…”

“Don’t worry about me, Frisk.”

They stayed quiet for a moment, and then said quietly over the chatter of the bar (and now, a rather upset teenage girl yelling at her dad), “Wanna bite of my food?”

“Sweetie, I’m fine. Enjoy your food.”

Frisk defiantly broke off a bite of their food and pushed it towards you. “Eat, sissy,” they demanded.

“Honey, really, I--”

“Sis!”

You looked at Frisk for a moment, seeing if they would falter. When they didn’t, you rolled your eyes and took the bite of food. It _was_ really good, and it made you feel a familiar warmth inside of you again. Frisk watched you eat it, then tried to break off another piece of their food. You snorted and ruffled Frisk’s hair, saying, “I’m good, sweetie. Don’t sweat it.” Frisk looked at you, and tried to push the food towards you again. You chuckled. “Frisk, I appreciate the effort, but if you give me another bite of your food, you’re just gonna have crumbs left. C’mon, now.”

Frisk gave you another look, but they caved and ate their food, finishing it up and then chugging their milk.

They got it all over their face, and you rolled your eyes again. “Frisk, honestly, are you three? Here…” You got a napkin and handed it to them, and they wiped their face.

“I’m nine, not three,” they told you stubbornly.

“Then act like it,” you said, sighing.

Frisk whined at you that they did act like it, to which you signed to them, _“You’re silly.”_

_“I’m not silly, you’re silly.”_

_“Silly.”_

The door to Grillby’s suddenly slammed open and you saw a very irritated Papyrus standing in the doorframe. “SANS!” he bellowed. You leaned out of the booth to look at Sans.

“hey bro,” Sans said, taking a swig of his ketchup.

“YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT YOUR STATIONS!” Paps said, stamping his foot.

“Hi, Papy,” you said, trying to cut some of the tension.

“HUMANS! YOU ARE HERE AS WELL? ___, SHOULDN’T YOU BE RESTING? YOU WERE JUST VERY HURT!”

“I’m okay,” you laughed, putting your hands up in surrender. “Just stopped in for breakfast.”

“HUMAN, SOMEHOW THIS SEEMS IRRESPONSIBLE.”

“Aw, don’t sweat it Papy,” you said, regretting intervening. Now you were being chided.

“I AM MOST CERTAINLY GOING TO SWEAT IT!”

“What about Sans?” Frisk asked.

You signed to them, _“Thank you.”_

“WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?” Papyrus asked.

“Whaddya mean?” you asked.

“DID YOU JUST SPEAK WITH YOUR HANDS?”

You laughed nervously. “Y-Yeahh????”

Papyrus gaped, then rushed over to where Sans was and returned with him under his arm. Sans seemed indifferent. “SANS, THEY CAN SPEAK WITH THEIR HANDS! LOOK! SAY SOMETHING! SPEAK THE HAND LANGUAGE!”

Frisk laughed, and you just anxiously followed suit. _“I’m uncomfortable,”_ you signed to Frisk.

 _“That sucks,”_ they signed back unsympathetically.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? DID YOU UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER? WHERE DID YOU LEARN IT? WHY DID YOU LEARN IT?”

You opened your mouth, then closed it, looking at Frisk. You regretted saying hello immensely. This was not what you were expecting at all.

Frisk answered for you. “I learned in school, and Sis learned when she was in school, too. We both talked all the time on the surface, and it was really fun when we would, just because we would talk about everything. Sissy actually taught me how to read lips, too, and so I learned how to talk normally through that.”

You wouldn’t have shared something like that, had you been Frisk. No one needed to know about who you were. But then again, Frisk was a good person. They didn’t have anything to fear. You just nodded.

Papyrus continued to stare intensely. “BUT WHY DID YOU LEARN IT? I LEARNED HOW TO SPEAK WITH WORDS BEFORE MY HANDS.”

You looked back at Frisk, who was being very quiet suddenly. “Sissy can say why,” they told him.

You wondered where you signed up for that. “Um,” you started. “Uhm. Papyrus, do you know what deaf is?”

“DEATH???!” Papyrus screamed.

You took that as a _no._ “No, _no!_ Deaf, D-E-A-F, deaf. It means you can’t hear.”

“DEAF? BUT… THE HUMAN CAN HEAR?”

“Not on the surface, they couldn’t. It’s okay, though, it didn’t make much of a difference for them.”

“DO ALL HUMANS KNOW THE HAND LANGUAGE?”

“No,” you said. “Most don’t.”

Sans looked at Frisk, then looked back at you. “welp, that’s pretty cool, kid.”

“Thanks,” Frisk said, shrugging.

There was a loud ping that made you surprised, and you opened your phone. A text from Alphys popped up, requesting you to come back to the lab, since it had been an hour and a half. YOu wrinkled your nose, checking the time. 8:27.

Time flies, you guessed, but you still didn’t know how it flew that quickly. You thought you had been improving on your routines to get places quickly.

“Well, I’m being requested back at the lab. I’ll catch you guys later.” Turning to Frisk, you asked, “You gonna come?”

“Yeah, okay,” Frisk said, sliding out of their seat. “Bye, Papyrus, bye Sans.”

“I WILL VISIT YOU LATER TODAY AFTER MY WORK IS COMPLETE!” Papyrus said, and Sans just mumbled something unintelligible.

And then he fell asleep right in Papy’s arms.

Part of you envied him and part of you wondered if that was normal, but you brushed it off like you brushed everything off and went back to the lab, holding hands with Frisk.

When you got there, Alphys nervously said she had finished interviewing Asgore and Toriel.

“I-It turns out it r-really is a different situation with them. Th-Their souls turned gray b-because of personal reasons…. A-And neither one of their souls is still g-gray.”

“That’s good, though, right?”

“U-Um, yes, it is.”

There was more she wasn’t telling you. There was more she wasn’t telling you that was _important,_ potentially _dangerous._ “What are you hiding?” You weren’t jumping fences anymore today. The fear you had felt all day was not normal.

“I… I…. It doesn’t h-have anything to d-do with _you,_ but I-I got pretty creeped out b-by something I read.”

“What was it?”

She wouldn’t answer you, until she pulled out an old story. “This i-is from the prophet. I-I’ll let you read it a-alone. I, uh, don’t want t-to read it again.”

You did _not_ like that. Gerson  also mentioned that she had borrowed books from the prophet, but you never _did_ get to asking what it was about. Foolish mistake.

Your hand shook, holding the book in your hands. It had a gray, ratty cloth cover, but it was peeling off, revealing the leather and yellowed pages with spots of brown and dust. On some of the pages, you could see hug rips, ruining pages.

The pages looked like they would crumble if you moved them, but when you turned them, they were still, like cardboard. They were warm, and there were little crackles as you moved them. It was easy to tell that the book was being held together by magic.

In black ink on the first page, it read, “ _The Final Prophecy of Monsters, transcribed by Yiyn Gre_.”

The scrawl had little curves, and none of the letters were sticklike. They all seemed like they had been written by someone who had to add a swoopy accent to every letter. It was clear print, however. None of the words conjoined with ink.

You flipped the page carefully, just in case the book’s magic was not enough to keep it from disintegrating.

_“The Prophet, Omni Scognitia’s Last Prophecy”_

 

_‘As the time comes near_

_for Monsters again to go free,_

_the Angel will be stopped_

_by a being lost to fear._

_Try as they will to flee,_

_this being shall end their glee._

 

_The being is one void of all hope,_

_a lost soul to the world before it._

_Should it win the war that it brings about again,_

_the silver shall not be able to cope._

_Silver will be turned to spit,_

_and the colors all around shall quit._

 

_An endless expanse of blue aura_

_will be an endless expanse_

_Of nothing,_

_Of broken flora._

 

_Aura of hope, of fear..._

_the one who was shit,_

_For all those who wish to call thee,_

_Just beckon the ‘Anomaly.’_

 

The last stanza was written like thorns, and the words were big and messy.

You agreed with Alphys, this prophecy sucked, and you did not appreciate it. You turned the page, and there were many interpretations written, with explanations, written again in the looped and swirled handwriting.

You shut the book and traveled back to Alphys. “Um, it was weird,” you told her, waving the book a little to indicate what you were talking about, before setting it on a coffee table. “I don’t understand why you got so upset about it, though.” You opened the book, and repeated, “‘Silver will be turned to spit’? ‘Beckon the ‘Anomaly’’?”

Alphys made a squeaky noise, taking the book back in her hand. “Y-You didn’t get creeped? T-The anomaly d-doesn’t sound scary? I-It’s a horror tale here. A g-ghost story.”

“So, should we be very scared or what? Is this a for sure thing?”

“Prophecies o-often don’t come t-true. The o-only prophecy that’s r-really even considered is the one about the Angel.”

“Well, then that’s good, right?”

“Yes, but…. I-I don’t know, I never liked it.”

“Fair enough,” you told her. “So nothing more with the gray stuff?”

“W-Well, a little. I-It’s not harmful, but i-it can m-make people bitter.”

“I’m always bitter,” you laughed, shoving Alphys gently, trying to make her feel better.

She giggled, pushing up her glasses. “M-Me, too.”

Kindly grinning back at your weeaboo friend, you started  feeling a small warm feeling again.

You wished you had just been born differently. Then it would just be better, easier….

You calmed yourself before you began thinking stupid things like that again. Today had already been eventful enough without you having a mopey event of wishing that you were different.

Hell, it wasn’t even lunchtime yet, and you’d managed to ruin your morning, have a panic attack, and read a scary children’s story.

Was this a new record?

This seemed like it should at least go up on the board for records of too much happening too fast.

It wasn’t a bad day yet, but maybe you could still make it a good day by hanging with someone.

Alphys, however, said that you’d better stay at the lab for the rest of the day, so she could quickly finish up tests and let you go.

You asked if you could hang out with anyone, and Alphys said Undyne was coming over at one, but that you could invite someone else, too.

She wanted you to not move about too much, so she suggested watching anime.

This, to you, seemed like a suspicious way for Alphys to watch anime while working, and/or to get you to watch her favorite shows.

But you could deal with that, because you were alright with less activity for a day.

 

.

.

.

 

_“Chara, are you there?”_

 

_“Asriel, are you there? Do you remember our plan…?”_

 

_“I remember. I-I just…”_

 

_“Asriel, we have to.”_

 

_“I just d-don’t know if this is such a good idea anymore…”_

 

_“Asriel, you promised me.”_

  
_“... Yeah. Let’s do it.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys SO MUCH for reading, I love you guys so much and I really appreciate you guys reading this, it means a lot. Have a great day guys!


	23. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #thischapterisalotlongerthanithoughtitwas #andhereiwasthinkingiwasgonnauploaditlatebcitwasntlongenough #enjoythechapteriloveuguys

You walked over to get Frisk to see if they wanted to watch anime with Undyne and yourself, looking for their room. You turned the corner and saw a door decorated in quite a few drawings of a little kid with a blue and purple striped sweater and a motherly goat.

So at least it was easy to find Frisk’s room.

Frisk, unsurprisingly, did want to join you in watching anime, and clung onto you like a sloth as you walked over to the couch in your temporary room, where Undyne was starting up some Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.

It wasn’t you favorite anime, but you could watch the thing. Frisk, Alphys, and Undyne seemed to love it though, and while you were watching it, Alphys came in numerous times to just watch the show.

You had to remind her about the tests for about three times before she got back on track.

“R-Right, sorry. C-Can I see y-your arm?”

You handed (hah, Sans would love that if you put in the context of a pun [shut up, why are you thinking about Sans? Think about the tests!]) Alphys your arm, and she started to roll up your sleeve. Sudden panic rushed through you and you jerked your arm back, yanking down the sleeve.

Alphys looked surprised, as did Undyne, but Frisk was already long gone into the anime.

“I-I need t-to put an IV in your a-arm,” Alphys said, looking confused. You trembled a little. There had been an IV before, too. She must have-- “I s-saw them,” she whispered.

You felt sick. Those scars had been hidden perfectly fine everytime you’d been in public, and now everyone was finding out about them in about four seconds.

Begrudgingly, you let her insert the IV. You could just pass them off as ‘battle scars’ or something for Undyne, and she’d get you. Frisk already knew about them too, obviously.

Though, if you had a choice, Frisk would have no idea they were there. They were so young, and even though they’d been through a lot, you diidn’t want them to know about things like self-harm, because you knew that there might end up being a time where they’d follow your footsteps, and then be equally self-conscious about scars as you were.

“H-hey, ____, I-I just thought I’d let you know, S-Sans is coming over.”

This intrigued you. “Really? When?”

“now,” a lazy voice said. You didn’t even jump this time, but Alphys leapt about four feet back, stuttering and stammering.

Undyne popped up from the couch and rubbed Alphys’s arm soothingly, giving Sans a look. However, Undyne forfeited her seat beside you doing so, and Sans took it, reclining back into his hoodie.

“Have a seat, why don’t you,” you said, smiling wryly. “You big crimminal.”

Sans gave you his signature smirk and shrugged. “caught in the act,” he iterated.

Undyne protested loudly about losing her seat, but unlike Sans, she was active. She shouted and tried to lift Sans up from her spot, coming over with her arms wide.

Sans’s left eye flashed blue (you twinged, but you couldn’t pinpoint why) and Undyne was set to the other side of the room.

You and Frisk laughed at her, pointing at the crumpled hero.

Sans ended up leaving after about two hours, to your disappointment, since the two of you didn’t get to talk much, but to be fair, you also barely talked to Undyne or Frisk.

You finished Mew Mew Kissy Cutie alone, since Frisk had been invited to recalibrate by Papyrus and Undyne had a meeting for the Royal Guard.

Alphys told you the tests were going well, and that your body didn’t seem to be reacting poorly to the serum at all. She suggested some pills for you, and stressed that only _you_ could take them, and that no matter what, monsters must not get them.

You told her that you were fine without, but she insisted that you at least try.

You took them hesitantly and thanked her.

“Two a day for a week,” Alphys reminded you.

“Okay,” you said quietly, putting them down next to you.

“U-Um, since we’ve been up all d-day, I thought it would be g-good for you to get sleep.”

“Yeah, agreed. I’m tired.”

“Goodnight, t-then,” she said, and walked out.

You actually were tired, but you felt anxiety from the day you’d had.

The gray flowers…

That’s what scared you most. You were worried for Fyr, worried about your soul, worried slightly about some sort of weird monster scary story, and overall, you were worried you were going to die, whether by your own hand, or someone else’s.

But those flowers scared you more. They seemed to represent all of your fears in one, in its own way. Besides Fyr. Those flowers were suicide notes, and throwing them up isn’t exactly ideal. Throwing up flowers is just not ideal in general.

But no one was going to know about those damned flowers. Then they’d not let you go, and then they’d do tests, and then they’d do evaluations, and then would come the questions, and then would come the truth, and that truth was a horrible one.

No one got to know everything. If someone did know about all of it, they could destroy you in a single blow. Ruin you. Everyone would know, and everyone would judge you and hurt you and hate you for not doing things right.

You could hear the questions again. Most of them came from Alex, but others were just from people who suspected something was off. People who were really, really good at seeing through lies when you weren’t nearly as good at telling them as you could now.

God, you hated those damned questions, and the fights following.

It was just…. stupid….

…..

_“Why didn’t you go to the police?”_

_“There’s no proof, and my uncle hates me, and he’s the fucking sheriff, Alex.”_

_“Okay, well then go to the counselor.”_

_“Then they won’t believe me and then it might be on the news and then they’ll take away Frisk, and if they don’t come in time, I’ll be killed.”_

_“That’s not true! I’m going to tell someone if you don’t!”_

_“I will never trust or forgive you if you did that. Can’t you see? Can’t you see, Alex? There is no FUCKING solution!”_

_“Yes there ARE, you just want to MOPE there and play the FUCKING VICTIM. This is MORE than you. This is your fucking KID sibling who is DISABLED too! You want them to live the same life as you? Huh? You want them to have those same fucking scars that you won’t even fucking show me?”_

_“Fuck. You. You don’t fucking understand, you fucking bitch! You’re one to talk about the fucking shit ass ‘victim’ role. Complaining about your mommy not wanting to be with your daddy, complaining that she cheats on him all the time, and gets mad when you threaten to tell him! You know how much I talk about ME? It’s not even fucking CLOSE to how much WE talk about YOU and YOUR problems and you know WHAT? I don’t go around fucking telling you that there’s an EASY FUCKING SOLUTION!”_

_“Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?”_

_“YOU TELL ME, ALEX! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? YOU HATE ME JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I FUCKING KNEW IT.”_

_“WHAT? NO, YOU’RE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND, I JUST CAN’T STAND TO SEE YOU BE LIKE THIS!”_

_“WELL THIS IS HOW I AM!” you shouted. “THIS IS THE PERSON I AM!”_

_“YOU AREN’T A HELPLESS LITTLE PUPPY!”_ _  
_ _“I’M NOT STRONG, EITHER! NO ONE LOVES ME!”_

_“CHRIST, _____, JUST… STOP! I LOVE YOU, ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?”_

You woke up with a start, clutching your heart. As you got a grip on yourself, you realized that you must have passed out at some point. Rubbing your eyes, you got up and yawned, stretching.

You wandered out of your room, your steps clearly reflecting your tired state by their clumsy, slow paces to Alphys’s room upstairs. You feet kept falling behind each other in an odd marching way, following each other like ants in a colony.

Once you reached the elevator, you drowsily searched the keypad on the wall for the ‘up’ arrow. You found a button and you pressed it, leaning against the wall as the doors slid shut. The elevator began to rise up, making whirring noises as the mechanics made the machine slowly inch up.

A little _ping_ notified you that you were at your destination. Yawning, you got out and walked to the escalator that led up to Alphys’s room. You almost fell getting off, but you managed to catch yourself before that happened. You looked up, seeing Alphys looking at you a little surprised, holding a book with Mew Mew from her favorite anime on the cover.

“Hey Alph. I just woke up and was wondering if it was cool if I left,” you said, pretending like you hadn’t almost wiped out.

“U-Uh… Right n-now?”

“Why not?”

“I-It’s 5:30… i-in the morning…”

Your eyes widened. “Oh really? Oops.”

Sh kept staring, and you looked at the book she was reading again.

“Whatcha reading?” you asked, sitting next to her. “Er, but if you want me to go so you can sleep or whatever--”

“N-No, I just w-woke up, too. I’m r-reading Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. T-This is the m-manga t-the second season is based off o-of.”

“I thought you hated that season,” you told her, wrinkling your nose.

“O-Oh, I do. Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 is neither kissy nor cutie. It’s trash. 0 stars,” she said sternly. You laughed a little. Alphys had memorized her speech about the anime’s second season. “It ruins Mew Mew’s E-ENTIRE ARC!”

You snorted again. “Then the question comes back; why are you reading it?”

“W-Well, I had to s-see if it was a-as bad.”

“And?”

“It’s trash. 0 stars.”

Both of you burst out laughing at this. You weren’t sure why it was so funny to you, but it was funny enough that you started crying from the laughter. As you heaved with laughter, your chest grew tighter and tighter, making you wheeze. Alphys was laughing normally, with small ‘hehes’ until she let out somewhat of a squawk, which killed you, making you two lose your minds.

You two talked for a bit longer, but it dissolved into small talk, which was your cue to go.

Frisk and Toriel woke up about thirty minutes after you because they heard you moving around, and they left with you to drop you off at Undyne’s house. Toriel had found a nice house in Snowdin that she planned on renting for a bit, and she told you about it.

Apparently it was cheap and big enough to keep Toriel happy. She went about while you had been watching anime, which made you feel like a bum, but that was a whatever thing. After all, it wasn’t like Alphys would have let you leave the lab again.

Toriel mentioned that she was having a little dinner so she could get to know your friends better and so she could meet some new people. You told her that you would go and bring your rowdy roommate with you.

As your house neared, you heard Frisk say, “Are you gonna invite Asgore?”

Toriel stiffened, but Frisk didn’t seem to notice, swinging their arms back and forth as they ambled along. “I was not planning on it,” she told them, her tone laced with harshness.

They seemed shocked. “But he’s so nice! Momma, you should give him another chance!”

The three of you reached your house and you went to open the door, trying your best to avoid the awkward situation arising, but the door was jammed. The teeth of the fish house would not budge. Even though they were supposed to slide open like an elevator, ever since Papyrus had broken down the door, they had to be opened like a normal door.

“He has done rather unforgivable things, my child…” You pushed on the door more forcefully, and when that failed, you finally flipped over the doormat and grabbed the spare key.

“Mom, people change! He was really nice when he talked about you!”

Jiggling the key into the keyhole and rattling the door, your home was finally opened to you. You opened the door wide and made to close it once you were inside.

“Frisk, there are some things in play that you simply don’t understand. I will not be inviting Asgore to dinner.”

You uncomfortably cleared your throat, and asked, “So what time will dinner be, again?”

Toriel look a little surprised, with a pouty Frisk slumped over next to her, their arms crossed. “Ah, I was thinking around 6:30, but I was hoping that you could come an hour earlier to help to make dinner. You’re a nice cook, and I’d appreciate some help.”

“Oh yeah, sure, Mom. But, uh, I’m not really all that good at cooking.”

“You’re better than most of our friends,” Frisk piped up.

You snorted. “That’s not saying a lot, but thank you, sweetie.”

Alarm crossed Toriel’s face. “Oh dear,” she worried. “Should I try teaching them a few things?”

“No,” you  asserted immediately, waving your hands, warding her off. “The best case scenario of their cooking was really burnt spaghetti and the worst was a literal explosion in Sans’s kitchen.”

Frisk snickered but Toriel covered her mouth, shocked. “Oh _dear,_ ” she repeated, with a significantly higher amount of concern. She looked past you, as if she was trying to find Undyne. “That’s very bad. They need a lot of help.”

You snorted. “Good luck telling Undyne how to cook. She’s kinda...headstrong. ‘My way or the highway,’ I guess.”

Toriel laughed lightly. “Well, I shall keep that in mind. We will see you later, dear.”

“Bye, Sis,” Frisk said, hugging, wrapping their arms around your waist.

“Bye, Mom. Bye, sweetheart.” You leaned over and kissed Frisk’s forehead, then turned back, watching the two walk away. Rubbing your eyes, you closed the door behind you and walked to the bedroom you shared with Undyne.

The door creaked open, and Undyne grumbled from beneath her covers, complaining, “It’s my day off, yet I’m still waking up at an ungodly time. The fuck…”

“Sorry, Undies,” you whispered. “I just got home.”

Your friend continued to grumble as she sat up. Undyne’s eye was closed, with was some hair swept over her missing eye in a tangled mess. Her mouth opened and closed like she was trying to form words, and her eyebrows were furrowed. She looked like a complete mess. “What’s the time?” she groaned, rubbing her eye and popping her back with two loud _cracks_.

You pulled out your phone. “6:50,” you informed her, putting your phone away. “You can go back to bed, man, I was just gonna read or somethin’.”

“No, it’s too late. ‘M already up.” The fish lady swung her legs over the bed and fumbled for her eyepatch. Her hands found it as well as her hairbrush and she disappeared into the bathroom, probably to get ready.

“Hey, my mom’s having this little get-together dinner tonight. You wanna go to it?”

Undyne’s voice came through the closed door. “Yeah, sure, whatever. What time’s it at? Who else is gonna be there?”

“It’s at 6:30, and she said she was inviting over some of Frisk’s and my friends, just to meet some new people. Paps, Sans, you, Alphys, maybe MK and his parents, you know.”

“Hm. She gonna invite Grillby? Asgore?”

“Maybe Grillby,” you said, pulling out a long-sleeved v-neck to wear for the day. “Asgore, no. Ex-husband and all that.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Undyne’s muffled voice said. “Kinda sucks though. I love that guy.”

“He seems sweet,” you agreed, taking off your sweater and undershirt you slept in.

“Yeah. Did you know he trained me?”

“You’ve told me that numerous times,” you informed her, pulling on the v-neck. You grabbed a pair of blue jeans and yanked them on.

Laughter came from the bathroom. “I was _the_ cockiest kid. Jesus, it’s a miracle I had any friends.”

“Did you have Pap?”

“No, actually. Never met Pap until he came over and asked to be in the guard.”

“Really? That’s surprising. You guys act like you’ve known each other longer than that.”

“Well, I was named Head right after I turned 18, and then about two years later, Paps shows up when _he’s_ 18\. It was the day after his birthday and everything. He was so pumped for it.”

“He’s been in training for _two years?_ Damn, that’s dedication. I think I would’ve quit.”

The door opened and Undyne walked out, grabbing a green shirt and black pants. She started getting her clothes on. “If we were talking normally he _would_ be in the guard by now. He’s strong! But he’s just a little softie. You know that I wouldn’t ever be able to send him into battle.”

You looked down, frowning a little. “Yeah, I do. He’s too nice to kill anyone. He just _hurt_ Frisk and I and backed out.” A small laugh escaped your mouth. “He’s really innocent, I guess. Naive.”

“He totally is. Have you seen his dating manual?”

The two of you laughed as you said, “Oh my god, yeah, he used that with Frisk!”

“No shit! Did he?”

“It was cute. But the date ended with them just being friends.”

“I’m not surprised, jeez.”

“Yeah. I thought it was adorable.”

Undyne rolled her eye and snickered. “Well, you know. Hey, speaking of, how was hanging with Frisk yesterday?”

“You mean in the morning?”

“Yeah. You punks do anything interesting?”

“Not really. We went to Grillby’s and hung out there a bit. Oh, but there was this gross guy there who was apparently dating Fyr who’s like, our age.”

“WHAT?!” Undyne’s face took on an expression of horror. “She’s in SCHOOL!”

“I know, it was disgusting. Grillby was furious, but I get it. If that had been Frisk in Fyr’s situation, I think I would beat the shit out of that older person.”

“Who the fuck was the guy? I’LL beat the shit out of him. Fucking nasty.”

“I think his name was Kuff--”

“Kuff Lehson?! The fucking teacher in Hotland? That’s not o-fucking-kay. We have to talk to Asgore about that. He can’t be around kids.” Undyne picked herself up and gestured to you. “You coming?”

“Wait, right now?”

“Yes right now, punk. We can’t wait for school to start again so he’ll be around all those kids. C’mon.”

Some feeling bubbled up inside of you, similar to excitement and anxiety, but not quite. “Uhm, yeah. You’re right, actually. That’s unacceptable. Let’s go.”

Undyne dragged you to the castle. Not because you were reluctant, but because she was a lot faster than you and was trying to run.

You felt like a slug next to Undyne, who was full on sprinting, then running back to you impatiently, then running, and then just repeating the whole cycle. Your run was a slow jog in comparison to her. It was a slog. Once she finally got fed up with going back and forth, she just picked you up and ran to the castle.

A long, gray pathway lined with buildings led up to the king’s home. You’d never actually been inside Asgore’s house before. Everything looked just like Toriel’s old home, except that it was all gray. Also, all the plants were alive in his house, which was another thing that Toriel was not good with. The two of you continued forwards to his basement, which led to another pathway like the one that led up to the house.

As you neared the end of the path, Undyne set you back down. “We’re almost there. He’s probably in the throne room.”

“Then why’d you put me down?” you asked, legitimately confused.

Undyne huffed. “It isn’t very professional to run to your boss carrying your friend on your back, and I don’t want to be _that_ employee.”

“I’m pretty sure you already _are_ that employee,” you snorted, walking through the archway. Your friend punched you in the arm and you let out a small screech in pain, rubbing your forearm. Undyne pushed past you and walked into the room, with you following.

The first thing that hit you about the room was that somehow, you _knew_ it. It was familiar.

The tiles were in a checkered pattern: orange, yellow, orange, yellow…

Some sort of light poured through the giant windows that were evenly spaced on the left wall. On the windows, there was that Delta Rune again. You hated that damned rune.

There were also giant pillars in between each window, on both sides of the walls, parallel to one another.

The entire room was golden, like there had been a filter placed on it.

This room made you extremely uncomfortable. It felt like something horrible had happened, yet you couldn’t quite recall. The memory was right there…. but it wasn’t.

You knew this feeling. This was a feeling you had before you started remembering things from the reset.

Besides that timeline, you couldn’t recall any others. Sans said that there were other timelines that you couldn’t remember, but this felt like it had been somewhere from the last timeline.

What had you done here?

Undyne kept walking, and you followed, not saying anything, trying your best to get out of the room. You kept your head tilted towards the ground and were grateful when you found another gray hallway. This hallway was bricked up though. You felt small as you walked through it with Undyne. You made a right turn and started walking down the hallway, until Undyne grabbed you by the back of your shirt and directed you through another arch.

“Ah,” you said, tapping your nose. “Whoops.”

Your friend snorted, and walked into the room full of buttercups.

Asgore loomed within the middle of the room, standing near a purple throne. “Oh! Is someone there? Just a moment, I am almost done watering these flowers.”

He really was a nice guy, you thought as the giant monster turned around. “Oh! Undyne, ___, what a pleasant surprise! What is going on?”

“Heya Asgore. Unfortunately, I’ve just found out about a pretty big problem. Yesterday, ____ went to Grillby’s in Snowdin, and the barkeeper’s daughter was with Kuff Lehson in a romantic way. He’s one of the high school teachers.”

Asgore looked horrified. “Oh dear. He cannot be near minors if that is the case. May I go to the family in question that this happened to?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’d be okay.”

Undyne nodded in agreement with you. “I’ll take you there. I need to do some questioning, too, being in the guard and all that.”

Asgore set his watering can down and walked next to Undyne, who asked over her shoulder, “You coming?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll, uh, catch up, if that’s cool.”

Undyne gave you a small nod and disappeared into the hallway with King Asgore. You watched them leave and then turned back to the flowers. They all looked pretty, and you smiled a little. You leaned in close to one of them to smell it.

“HEY! DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S RUDE TO SNIFF OTHER PEOPLE?!”

You shrieked and bounced back, holding your heart tightly, gasping. “Flowey, jesus!”

The flower narrowed it eyes, dusting itself off with its petals. “Yeah, well, that’s what you get for sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

You tried catching your breath, closing your eyes tightly from the scare. “You should’ve said something, I thought you were one of these other flowers.”

“Well, I’m NOT!” Flowey snapped. He gave you a disgusted look.

There was an uncomfortable silence. “Uhm, do you wanna talk to Chara or anything?” you asked tenderly. This was Chara’s brother, after all. And he must have felt pretty alone.

Flowey looked shocked. “Is she there right now?”

You let out an uneasy laugh. “She’s always here, um. I can ask her if she wants to uh, talk?”

“Whatever,” Flowey said, pretending to be disinterested. There was an excited look on his face that gave him away completely, but that was fine. _“Chara, do you wanna--”_

_“Yes. Sure. Can I take over…?”_

_“Okay,”_ you said grudgingly. She didn’t do anything last time, after all.

_“But uh, please don’t listen.”_

_“Chara--”_

_“Please.”_

You bit your lip. _“... I trust you. Fifteen minutes.”_

You really and truly hated the feeling of being possessed. The air leaving you was unpleasant, as was the heavy feeling on your chest.

 _“Ugh, I hate that.”_ You looked up, and saw that the screen that had been visible the time before was gone, and it was silent. It was eerie, to say the least.

You looked back and saw that you were again in the weird white dress.

 _“I am sure that you do,”_ said Gaster. He was sitting down, practicing something. There was a black ooze with a bright white orb in the middle. The orb was glowing different colors. You could recognize them as some soul colors, like red, green, blue…

To you, this was intriguing.   _“Is that your magic?”_ you asked, sitting next to him.

Gaster seemed to have more form since the last time you saw him. He wasn’t melting at all now, and his face had seemingly healed a bit. The cracks on his face weren’t as wide as they used to be.

He looked at you. The one eye of his was still a bit droopy, but it was open wider. _“Indeed. I have been practicing under the supervision of Chara, as you requested.”_

_“I don’t remember requesting that…”_

_“She has been monitoring my power, I mean.”_

_“Oh, yeah. That whole thing.”_ A question burned into you that you had been meaning to ask Gaster. _“Hey, so you said you had to… apologize. For… what? To who? Why is it so important?”_

Gaster shot you a surprised look. His magic creation collapsed, and he made a face. _“Ah. Some time ago… I greatly wronged someone. I was only trying to help, but my experiment went wrong. We could not stop our work though, because it would result in a serious loss of magic. Potentially… all of it. For monsters, that would result in death.”_

_“Oh… umh… what was the experiment… for?”_

_“The experiment was to increase magic, and to… Hm. How would I phrase this? …. Well, you know how your younger sibling can remember resets?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“This is very uncommon for others who_ cannot _reset to remember. Frisk, Flowey, Chara, and I all at some point have been able to reset this world to a certain time. You as well, but for some reason, your memories are not nearly as vivid, if they are there at all. Truly strange.”_

_“So…?”_

_“Our patient could remember these timelines. It was not preferable, and it was causing a significant amount of stress, anxiety, depression… All of it.”_

_“Who was it?”_

Gaster stayed quiet for a moment. _“Has it been fifteen minutes?”_

_“No. Gaster?”_

_“I don’t know how I feel about answering that question.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“I have the suspicion that you would be angry.”_

_“Gaster, who was it?”_ you pushed, becoming stern.

He sighed. _“You would have to understand that I was trying the best I could to save them. Their life was on the line.”_

_“Stop playing the pronoun game, Gaster!”_

_“I… *sigh* It was my son. He was not very stable, and his health and magic were on the line. I had seen him, what the resets did to him, and I tried to help. But things went so horribly wrong, they weren’t in my calculations… He has a lot of anger towards me. Hate.”_

_“Your… kid? You were a dad?”_

_“Indeed. I had two sons.”_

_“And that woman. Arial.”_

_“She was my wife.”_

_“I’m sorry, Gaster.”_

Gaster nodded. _“Thank you.”_

_“Do I know your sons?”_

_“.... Yes. You do.”_

You closed your eyes. There was a pair of brothers that fit everything in the category easily, and even were named after fonts, like Arial. _“So… Sans and Papyrus, then.”_

Gaster stayed silent, looking down at his lap for about a minute. _“Indeed.”_

You clenched your teeth and breathed out. _“Oh boy.”_

_“If you want me to leave, I understand. You are close to the both of them, especially Sans.”_

_“No-- Uh. Shit, this just… Hm. What-- What did you do. How did you…. hurt… him?”_

_“We injected some experiments into his soul. Some were more unethical than others, but they seemed harmless. Things were not being effective towards the magic, so we tried… one last thing. And it caused some cracks and chips within his soul, which is painful normally, but for monsters, it is much worse. Our souls are where our magic originates, and our beings are mainly made of our magic. He endured a lot, but we had to keep going to try to keep his soul together.”_

_“Why didn’t you just reset?”_ You felt angry. If it weren’t for the fact he said he could reset, you would’ve been more sympathetic. But… that changed the circumstances.

_“I wanted to wait for the experiment to be over, since it was also supposed to erase the memories of resets. I did not want my son to remember something like that. As it turned out, he remembered anyways.”_

You stayed quiet for a moment. The reasoning made sense, but he still hurt his son. Still hurt his child. Just like your parents hurt you. _“Did you do it again?”_

_“What?”_

_“Did you do it more than once.”_

_“No! I never even reset again after that timeline was erased. I couldn’t do that!”_

You shut your eyes. He was trying to save his child. It was different than your parents. _“I’ll help you. You take the determination I get until you can come back. And apologize for what you did.”_

_“R-Really?”_

_“Yes. You weren’t evil, just wrong. But if you ever do something like that again-- ESPECIALLY TO YOUR KIDS…._

I ‘ l l  k i l l  y o u . ”

Gaster bowed his head slightly, but you could see he was keeping his eyes on you. He looked slightly concerned. _“I promise. Be careful, ____. Try to keep yourself well.”_

 _“Where did that come from?”_ you said, frowning. You were kinda hoping he would be scared. The monster turned from you, again practicing his magic.

_“Your soul is very interesting. But very unstable and fragile. Just be cautious.”_

You tilted your head in confusion, and looked down again.

Small horror came over you, seeing that your dress had some black ooze trailing up to your torso. The flowers were wilting even more than before as well.

And then there was a gust of air that rushed back into you as you were pulled back into your physical body.

“What the fu…” The world felt unnaturally hazy.

“What are _you_ doing?” Flowey sneered as you teetered back and forth.

You blinked and steadied yourself. “Sorry. Scared myself.”

Flowey scoffed. “Of course you did, you’re an _idiot.”_

Your started walking away, dusting yourself off. “Yeah, you’ve said that.”

Flowey made a snide comment about you being an idiot back at you, but you just made your way back to Waterfall, ignoring him. He got on your nervous, and after what just happened with Gaster, you were not in the mood for any more shit.

Undyne wasn’t in that golden hallway when you reached it. Somehow it made you even more uncomfortable than before. You hurried through the room and through the core.

The discomfort was intense, and you could feel some sort of odd tension still from that room.

_“What’s wrong?”_

“Nothing, Chara,” you said aloud, walking through Waterfall.

_“You seem upset. Something’s wrong.”_

“I’m fine.”

 _“.... What’d you guys talk about while I was talking to my brother?”_ The tension suddenly had a massive increase. Chara took notice. _“What’d you say to her?”_

_“I told her the truth.”_

You walked quietly, passing the statue of the monster. It still had the umbrella you set over it.

_“About what you did? And she’s letting you STAY?!”_

“I am,” you answered quietly. “And I’m going to help him.”

 _“But-- BUT HE’S LIKE_ THEM! _I… What?!”_

“He’s different, Chara. And one wrong move, and he is gone. It isn’t the same.”

_“Hmphhhh. I should stay around more often. Clearly everything happens while I’m gone.”_

“If you felt so strongly about it, why didn’t you tell me?”

_“I’m not a snitch!”_

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, then.”

You kept walking, but not at much of a quick pace. It was just at your leisure.

_“Also, you’re stupid.”_

“You said that already.”

_“But it’s for a different reason now.”_

“What, then?”

_“Why didn’t you just take the boat to Snowdin?”_

Motherfucker, you were stupid.

_“That would have been more efficient, I agree.”_

Your answer was a bitter silence and a trip to Snowdin from Waterfall.

You got off and thanked the river person and walked into Grillby’s, where Asgore, Undyne, Grillby, and Fyr sat at a booth.

A certain fuckboy was attending the bar.

“Heya babe! ;) Want a drink? ;)”

“No thanks,” you told him bitterly, walking to the others.

“Took you long enough,” Undyne said, holding a cheese fry between her fingers. “We’re almost done. We’ve already gotten one of the elementary school teachers to be willing to take his place. We just need to find someone to fill _his_ place now.”

“Mom wants to teach,” you said. Asgore beamed at you.

“That is a wonderful idea! Tori is very good with children, and is a fine teacher.”

You felt bad for him again. He really seemed like a sweet guy, and you honestly could get behind his reasons for declaring war against humans and using their souls to break the barrier. Even though you were a human. You _were_ the reason that the barrier still stood.

“I’ll ask her about it,” you told him, leaning on Undyne’s shoulder with your elbow.

He put on an ear-to-ear grin and put his hands together. “Lovely! Both classes currently will be taught by a substitute until that is taken care of. Well, seeing as that has been all figured out for now, I must go and have a discussion with Mr. Lehson. Good day.” Asgore rose from his seat and headed outside. You watched, and looked to Grillby.

“I’m glad that he’s doing something about that man. I should have called him earlier, to be perfectly honest. It never crossed my mind, which is rather… pathetic.”

“Nah, Grillby. You were pissed. Not thinking clearly. It’s all good. He’s getting taken care of.” Undyne took a bite of her cheese fries.

“Sorry this happened, Grillby,” you told him. Everything was wrong with this situation, but one of the things you felt most guilty about was that you didn’t really help Grillby. It was probably because you knew you didn’t matter much anyways. You stretched, popping your back, pushing away your feelings. Had to stop them before they grew.

Grillby and Fyr laughed when you popped your back, and you looked at them with confusion. “What?” You glanced at Undyne, who was was wearing an expression of total indifference.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Grillby chuckled.

You gave him another confused look, searching for an explanation. Fyr cleared her throat. “Sans hates it when people do that. Recently, Dad did that and he fell off of his chair.”

Undyne suppressed a guffaw, eating her last cheese fry. “Yeah, Paps hates that too. He gets really upset whenever I do it. Sometimes I do it just to mess with him.”

“That’s so mean,” you said. “You’re such a jerk.” The two of you laughed.

“Yeah, that’s part of the whole schtick, isn’t it? Head of the Royal Guard, rude badass… I mean, it fits nicely…”

You snorted. “I suppose.

Fyr slid out of her seat, heading for the door. “Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Grillby suddenly said, looking at his daughter sternly.

“Aw, Dad, c’mon, it’s just to hang out! Only for a little!”

“You can’t leave Snowdin,” Grillby shouted as Fyr opened the door.

“I know, I know! Seeya later, Dad.”

Fyr walked out, and Grillby sighed, pushing up his glasses a little. “What a mess,” he said, back to his usual, softer voice.

“Yeah, not a great series of events, I’ll say. Thanks for making me those fries, Grillby.”

“It’s my job, no thanks needed,” he told Undyne.

The fish lady rose from her chair and slapped you on the back. “Ow,” you hissed, slapping your hand to your shoulder blade. You could already feel the bruise announcing its presence.

“I’ll see you at home, nerd.” Undyne ruffled your hair and walked out of the bar, slamming the door behind her slightly less aggressively than usual.

Still massaging your new wound, you griped, “You’d think she would understand that some of us don’t have steel skin, but no.”

Grillby divulged a little guffaw. “You aren’t a peach, either, however.”

“Just because the bruises don’t _always_ show…”

Grillby waved you off. “I was merely jesting.” There was a pause. The moment of silence was not long enough to be considered awkward, but the air of it being so was an imminent threat. Both of you knew what you wanted to talk about, yet neither one of you knew what to say about it.

In your head, you were drawing up every possible escape route for every possible horrendous outcome. You knew you tended to be impulsive and could be all sorts of nasty if you weren’t at your best, and your “best” was not very superb, either.

It was hard to find what words to say. It would have been easier if you had just been honest in the beginning, that it wasn’t a mutual attraction, that you wanted to be friends and friends only.

“____,” your friend said in his delicate voice.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You hadn’t thought of what to say or how to say it yet. The sound of your heartbeat was pounding in your ears, and that all-too-familiar static-y feeling of anxiety and dread settled itself in your abdomen and chest. “Yeah.” Your voice came out hoarse and scared. Out of nervous habit, you started pulling on your sleeves.

“I wanted to discuss something with you.”

“Yeah. Me too.” You dreaded what he was going to do if you didn’t say what you meant right. Cry? No, probably not. Be angry? No. Be hurt, confused? Likely.

Forget you in the dust just like everyone on the surface who ever mattered did?

…. Yeah.

You were terrified.

 _“Stop overthinking. Grillby is way too nice to do something like that,”_ Chara said.

 _“What if he does?”_ you questioned back, stuck in the same mindset. It wasn’t like you didn’t have reason to think that way, if anyone else asked you. You had the stats of how many people left when you told them some form of truth, and they were high.

So why would anyone be any different?

_“He would never. You are still his friend. He said that if things didn’t work out for you guys, you’d still be friends, remember?”_

_“But what if that changed?”_ You wanted to cry.

Chara did something she hadn’t done for a bit, and materialized before you. The pale, ghostly child stood next to you, and held onto your hand tightly. _“Then I’ll still be here for you.”_

“I am not sure how to go about this.”

Grillby brought you back to reality. The skittish feelings got worse, but you squeezed Chara’s hand. She was so much like Frisk. You counted her easily as your sister.

“I’m not either. I-- I don’t want to have conflict between us.”

The bartender sighed, slumping in his seat. “I cannot do this.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. Tears threatened to spill.

“No, _I’m_ sorry. I was not ready, I know now.”

The tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you managed a confused, _“What?”_ before your voice could crack.

“I don’t think I am ready for another relationship,” he admitted, holding his head in his hands. Again, your heartbeat started to thud uncomfortably loud in your eardrums. What was he saying? You didn’t believe what he was saying. Fortunate things did not happen to people like _you._ “After this whole fiasco with my daughter, I realize that I am not over my Fuku’s death yet.”

A small feeling of elation burst through you, and a little girl said, _“I told you it would go okay.”_

“.... Fuku? That was her name?”

Grillby looked up at you tiredly. “You’re not hurt by this, are you?”

“No! No, I wasn’t feeling it either, actually,” you told him hurriedly. “I never really heard you talk about her before, besides a few little stories.”

He leaned back in the booth. “That’s a small relief, then. I was worried your feelings would be hurt. But yes, her name was Fuku. That’s Fyr’s first name, as well.”

“Oh,” you said, and sat down across from Grillby. “You named her after your wife?”

“My wife wanted to name her Fyr. I wanted to name her Fuku Jr. It was a compromise between us to call her Fuku Fyr. Fuku used to joke that her family’s legacy would go on, because she was named after her grandmother Fuku. I believe it was somewhat of a family tradition that her grandma tried to stop, but Fuku’s mother was a very traditional kind of lady.”

Even though the sadness in his voice was evident, you could also hear the happiness from remembering his wife mixed in. “That’s sweet,” you said. “I always used to think it was cool when families would do that.”

“Oh, Fyr’s grandma is very happy that we named her Fuku as well. It’s only been just recently that she’s been going by Fyr, though. I think it has to do with her age.”

“How old is she?”

“Fifteen.”

This actually brought up another question. “How old are _you_ then?”

Grillby sighed, cleaning his glasses. “Thirty-three. We were young when Fyr was born.”

“You were 18?” you said incredulously. It was mainly surprising because it was _Grillby_. He seemed like the person that would strongly advise against being married so young, let alone be a parent.

“Indeed. I said we were young. Perhaps not the best choice for us, but I do not regret it. Fyr is wonderful.”

You processed all of the information just fed to you. Slowly nodding, you grinned a little at Grillby. “Yeah, she’s a friendly kid. And your wife sounds like she was very sweet, too.”

There was a crackle and slight flare of fire from Grillby that you recognized as happiness. “Quite so.” He turned around in the booth, and the two of you noticed a certain seahorse flirting with a certain bunny. “I should get back to the bar,” he sighed, rising from his seat.

“Do you ever take any breaks?” you queried. “Ever? I mean, you’re always open, I always only see you behind the bar…”

You walked with Grillby back to the bar. “Of course I do. There’s other staff here as well. Recently, I’ve been picking up all the shifts, but things are back to normal now. Aaron is a server here, for example. He also will tend to the bar on occasion if I need him to. When I was doing everything, I would close for an hour and sleep standing up. It was stressful, to say the least.”

“I bet,” you told him. “If you ever need someone to pick up a shift, you should just call me. I don’t ever have plans and I’m totally willing to do it.”

“I’ll consider your offer, thank you,” Grillby stated as he resumed his status bartending. Aaron went to  the back of the room, looking at himself in a mirror.

“I should get going,” you said. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Goodbye,” Grillby said. “Thank you for your understanding.”

“It’s no problem.” You waved and walked out the bar, and stepped out into a small snowstorm.

Dammit. You weren’t even wearing a sweater. Of course, you _could_ go back inside. But that was if you were willing to give up dignity.

Which you were not.

You headed towards Sans’s house, vigorously shuffling through the snow. Your fingers, feet, and nose were completely numb. The storm was quickly getting worse, and you were reconsidering how valuable your dignity actually was. The christmas lights strewn across the house came into view, and you shuffled faster, shivering violently. Once at the stoop of the house, you knocked on the door, hard. The wind was beating at your skin, making your hair whip back and forth. You bitterly wondered again about how underground snowstorms worked, cursing magic.

Sans opened the door, gazing up at you. “you cold?” he asked as you hobbled past him and picked up the blanket lying on the couch. “that’s a yes, i presume.”

“Yes,” you told him, your teeth chattering a little as you curled into a little ball. You wrapped yourself up in the blanket tightly.

Sans slumped on the couch next to you, shutting his eyesockets. “paps and i were watching mettaton. he went in the kitchen to make some spaghetti for tori’s thing tonight.”

“Oh, boy,” you uttered, letting out a very chattery laugh. “Let’s hope there aren’t explosions this time.”

Sans snorted, and reclined on the couch further, so much so that half of him wasn’t even on the couch anymore.

You turned to the show, and instantly recognized the snow being displayed. “Jesus Christ, not this one,” you groaned, covering your face in horror.

“‘would you smooch a skeleton?’” he mocked, scrolling through his phone.

Your face went red and you promptly shoved Sans off his couch cushion. “No. I hate you. I came here to be with my friends and not freeze my tiny ass off. You suck.”

Sans rolled his eyes, still holding his expression of superiority firmly. “well, the kid shoulda asked something else, considerin’.”

“Whaddya mean?” you asked as you got up from the couch to say hi to the more bouncy skeleton.

Sans plopped himself back on the couch, shutting his eyesockets and again sinking down. YOu continued heading towards the kitchen, which was suspiciously quiet. “well, because of--” He stopped himself. The silence with him wasn’t the same as the one with Grillby. You felt something like hurting, but not quite. It felt like a few painful jabs to the chest accompanied with a desire to help. Empathy, maybe. Or something like it.

“... because you are definitely not papy’s type.”

Both of you knew that wasn’t what he was going to originally say. You knew, and he knew that you knew.

Despite that, you scoffed and played along, playing the role that had been handed to you. “I can make spaghetti, thanks. So judgy-judgy, jeez louise.”

Sans opened an eye socket, wearing a smug grin. “me? judge? i think you’re looking for _‘observe’_.”

“Yeah, sure, mm-hm. Clearly,” you quipped back, turning into the kitchen.

The silence suddenly made sense. Papyrus was passed out in a pot of spaghetti ashes, sprawled out on the table.

You walked over and gently shook him awake. “NYEHhH…” Paps grumbled. “WHAT?”  
“Heya, Paps. You wanna keep sleeping in your pasta?”

“___? PLEASE, I AM NOT SO UNCULTURED AS SANS IS TO DO SUCH A--” Papyrus cut himself off with a screech, shooting up and away from the bowl. “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE’S MY COFFEE? WHAT DAY IS IT? HAVE I MISSED THE DINNER? WHAT IS GOING ON?!”

Muffled sniggers bled from the other room. “You didn’t miss the party, calm down, buddy.”

Papyrus breathed a sigh of relief, and looked mournfully back at his pasta.

“NOW I HAVE TO START A WHOLE NEW BATCH,” he griped.

“Oh, Paps, that’s okay. Mom will have lots of stuff. Including spaghetti, most likely. You wanna go watch more Mettaton?”

Papyrus’s eyes lit up, and the pasta dust was forgotten. “YES! LAST I CHECKED, WE WERE WATCHING THE EPISODE YOU ARE IN!”

You groaned. “God, don’t remind me. That was a huge mess.”

“IS HE GOING TO BE AT THE DINNER?”  
Was Papy usually this scatterbrained? “Who?”

“METTATON! FRISK IS FRIENDS WITH HIM, AREN’T THEY?”

“Oh, I, uh, don’t know. Maybe?”

“JUST IN CASE HE IS, I NEED TO WEAR MY BEST CLOTHES. HE’S MY FAVORITE SEXY RECTANGLE. EVEN THOUGH HE IS CURRENTLY NOT VERY RECTANGULAR.”

You laughed again and sat next to Sans, Papyrus wedging himself on Sans’s other side. “he’s a giant rusty toaster,” Sans remarked. You suppressed giggles at the bitter expression he wore.

“HE’S EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL,” Papyrus said, not hearing the insult.

“he’s extremely pretentious,” Sans yawned. You elbowed Sans a little.

“He’s not the worst person ever. I just really hate that he hurt Frisk,” you said, wrinkling your nose.

To your surprise, Papyrus waved it off. “IT’S JUST SPECIAL EFFECTS, DON’T WORRY! THEY DO THAT IN SHOW BIZ!”

Your lips thinned and you hummed in response. It was in Pap’s character to not believe anyone could really hurt anyone else.

Chara materialized next to you again, floating around the TV.

You made a little face. _“What are you doing?”_

 _“I didn’t want to be around Gaster. He was irritating me,”_ she said nonchalantly.

_“You guys were talking?”_

_“Well, yeah, when he’s one of the only people you_ can _talk to, it’s kinda what happens.”_

 _“Are you suggesting I find even more entities to put in my head?”_ you bantered, smiling a little at the girl, albeit a little condescendingly.

_“Oh god, no. What if you choose an asshole? At least Gaster can be bearable.”_

_“I like to think that I’m decent,”_ Gaster piped in.

Chara made a face at hearing this, and gave you a dark grimace. You knew it was directed towards Gaster, but it still made you uncomfortable. Chara glided next to you and sat on your lap, wrapping her arms around you as she kept her little brown eyes trained on the TV.

You had to pretend like she wasn’t there, but you knew she understood. If you told Sans the reason why it looked like you were holding someone was because Chara was there, he would flip his shit, even if you tried to explain it.

The storm was still going strong about an hour later, and you had quickly grown bored of Mettaton and his cliche antics. Paps was still enthralled, as you were quite aware he would be, and Sans had unsurprisingly fallen asleep, leaning on your shoulder and snoring serenely. Chara was still curled in your lap, but she had also conked out, and was huddled in your shoulder while doing so.

You maneuvered to get your phone to text your roommate that you got caught in a snowstorm (something, that, now that you thought of it, you should’ve done first thing). Undyne grumpily texted you back and told you that she figured as much when she went back to “kick your puny ass” and then saw the blizzard. She had gone to Alphys to see where you went, since she knew you didn’t check your phone too frequently.

Undyne also added that if you did that again and left her worrying, she was going to go and haul your ass back home and chain you to your bed so that she would know exactly where you were.

The response given back to her was “Duly noted,” and you closed your phone again, sighing softly.

Chara squirmed in her sleep for a moment before snuggling back into your arms again.

She was very cold. You figured that was part of the whole ghost thing.

The storm outside was becoming a background noise that was lulling you to sleep, just like her and Sans.

Your eyes fluttered, and despite your efforts, you felt yourself losing consciousness, and falling to the world of dreams….

You rested your head gently atop Sans’s and let yourself relax, forgetting-- if only for a moment-- the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOrry that this chapter was so long omg I thought it was like 3 pages (I type all of the chapters on a different document originally and then put them here so I don't lose them and can easily scroll through them) but nO IT'S 16 HOLY CANNOLI


	24. For Better or for Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! I can't believe how far this fanfic has come and that I've been writing it for a year now. It's super unreal. That's why I'm uploading this chapter earlier than I usually do.  
> AAAAAAA thank you guys all so much for your love and support of this story. There's been multiple times where I was gonna quit or just delete this fanfic all together but your comments and kudos really made me more confident in my writing. There's still stuff I'm working on, but hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter!

***SANS**

I woke up with a small grumble. My eyesocket lids stayed shut, feeling extraordinarily heavy. There was an ache in my neck as well, which didn’t aid to me wanting to move in the slightest.

Outside, it sounded like the storm was over, seeing as it was quiet. It also seemed like I had slept later than I thought, since there wasn’t much light coming through the window.

Not that there usually was anyways, but the crystals on the cavern’s roof in Snowdin grew brighter at what we could only assume was daytime, and then grew darker again later. The theory was that they somehow reflected the sun’s light, but I never cared about it enough to actually see how true it was.

Another feeling that I suddenly became aware of was the pressure on my head. ___’s head was resting atop my skull, and her shoulders rising and falling steadily as she slept.

She had fallen asleep too, then.

Finally mustering up the motivation the open my eyes, I peered around the room. The television was still on, but Papyrus was no longer beside me. My brother didn’t turn up anywhere in my line of sight as I scanned the room. I wrinkled my browbone. It wasn’t like Paps to leave the TV on and amble away.

I turned my head as gently as I could so I wouldn’t wake ____ when I peered in the direction of the kitchen, but as I did so, ____ groaned and slowly pulled herself up.

“Sans?” she uttered groggily. Her eyes were shut halfway and her mouth was hanging a little bit ajar still. It was still cute every time I saw her like that, but I couldn’t tell her that. She brought a fist to her eyes and rubbed them vigorously.

“hey there,” I replied, stretching a little.

One of my bones popped and I froze, wincing a little as I readjusted myself back against the couch cushions.

Her sleepy demeanor faded a bit and she looked around in confusion.“What time is it?”

I reached into my pocket for my phone, and pulled it out. My fingers clacked against the device as I opened it. “6:18,” I answered,  yawning.

I was perfectly content with falling back asleep for another 11 minutes until I had to go to the dinner, but ____ instantly rocketed off of the couch and rushed towards the door.

“SHIT, I SAID I WAS GONNA HELP MAKE DINNER AT 5:30!” she said, yanking the door handle shakily. The door creaked open and she rushed out. “I’LL SEE YOU IN A BIT!” she managed to say before the door slammed shut behind her.

I just sat there dazed. I kept staring at where she left for about a minute, before I realized that Paps was still missing. I shot him a text.

*”hey bro. where r u”

Instantly, my phone’s screen lit up with Papyrus’s response. *bro: “WELL, SINCE YOU AND THE HUMAN FELL ASLEEP, WHEN TORIEL CAME OVER TO GET ____’S HELP, I WENT INSTEAD. FRISK ALREADY HAD INVITED MK OVER. I BELIEVE THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER AFTER DINNER.”  
*”thx bro”

*bro: “YOU ARE WELCOME, SANS”

I laid back in my seat, preparing for nap #2 when ____ suddenly fled back into the house.

I eyed her, giving her a look. “what, can’t get enough of me?” I drawled, gesturing to myself.

____ turned a wonderful shade of red and she sputtered back, “NO, my phone’s dead, and I needa remind Undyne about the party and the house’s address.”

“and?” The expression on her face turned sour.

“Sans. C’mon.”

“mm,” I said, shutting my eyesockets. “‘m not feeling up to it right now. sorry.”

“Sans, please,” she said. I heard her footsteps pad over to me. “Toriel’s gonna be mad at me as it is, she didn’t have any help--”

“paps went over to help. i think you’re okay.”

“But she doesn’t know _why_ I’m not there!”

“paps told her. don’t worry about it. why don’t you send her and undyne a text and just hang out here for about the next ten minutes?”

“What’s the point?” she huffed, sitting on my right. “Why not show up early?”

“well, we haven’t exactly hung out for a while. just you and me. don’t ya miss me?” I opened an eyesocket and glanced at her.

____ looked back at me, biting her lip.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. But I still need your phone, boneboy. Gimme.”

“you’re forgetting the magic word!” I taunted, waggling my phalanges at her.

“You’re so difficult. You’re so difficult and you’re an adult. Sans, _please_ gimme your phone.”

I snorted and handed the small electronic to the girl, who immediately began typing.

After a few moments, she handed it back. “Okay, thanks. We’ve got the next 8 minutes to hang out.”

“great. sufficient time to nap,” I joked, prodding her side.

“If you actually did that, I would kill you. Oh my god,” she snorted. She continued, “Okay, so there’s been so much that’s happened today.”

***Y/N**

There was a lot you wanted to talk about with Sans. First and foremost, you wanted to tell him about Grillby. But you didn’t want to immediately bring it up, since it would be oddly timed. That’s why you decided to start with leaving the lab, then the party, and then Kuff, and _then_ Grillby.

Sans listened intently as you talked. He wasn’t staring right at you and making uncomfortable eye contact, but he still was engaged and would look at you as you talked. You told Sans about how painfully uncomfortable you were when Frisk suggested inviting the king, and he laughed at you.

“that sucks, buddy. you should get someone to fix that door up for ya so you have a quicker escape route next time. i always have something up my sleeve.”

“You can teleport, you cheater. I’m a flimsy human, what the heck can I do?” you laughed. “Anyways, where was I? ...Oh yeah! When I finally got inside, Undyne and I were talking and yesterday got brought up, and then we went to Asgore to tell him about Kuff! So she and Asgore went to Grillby’s and I followed behind because I was looking at his garden. So I was walking back, and then it’s pointed out to me that I’m a huge moron and should be taking a boat to Snowdin. When I got there, they were already pretty much done talking, but I ended up potentially finding a job for Mom, so that’s cool. Asgore went to go have a talk with Kuff, and Undyne went home.”

Your heart was pounding. This was the thing. What if he reacted badly? What if he said he thought you and Grillby would have made a cute couple?

 _“I’m pretty positive he’s not gonna say that,”_  Chara told you.

_“He could, though. You don’t know.”_

There you were again. Being a petulant little kid.

And how old were you? Twenty-two? You didn’t act like it.

_“Just stay calm. If things don’t go as desired, there is another time. However,, as Chara said, I doubt that will happen.”_

You ignored Gaster and Chara and continued, “So then Grillbz and I talked a little bit. And we ended up cancelling the date altogether--” As you said this, you began to study Sans. “--and decided that we’re better as friends.”

Sans seemed surprised, and gave you a look like you had just promptly told him to explain the universe, life, and literally everything. You couldn’t tell if that was good or bad, but you felt sick. Maybe he was mad. You pretended not to notice his reaction. “He still isn’t ready for another relationship, and to be honest, I think it’s better if we don’t end up dating.”

Sans seemed to finally find words. “wait. you’re not going out now? not at all?”

“Nope, just friends.”

“completely,” he said.

“Completely,” you said back.

He stared at you.

You stared back.

He didn’t break the eye contact. He just kept looking at you, reading your face.

“You good, Sans?” you asked nervously. You were feeling uncomfortable. It was clear in your eyes that you said something inherently wrong.

“i just thought you were really into him, that’s all.” Your heart sank.

“No, I’m interested in someone else,” you said. “I thought that maybe feelings would develop or transfer, but they never did.”

Sans’s eyes flickered. “who’s the guy?”

Shit. Oops. You weren’t expecting him to ask that. What you had been anticipating was for him to respond to the feelings part. The only reason you added the other part was so you sounded a little less dickish. Maybe it made you sound more dickish. “Uh, why?”

Great response. After he answers, go on a tangent. Or maybe it’ll be time for dinner. You can show up a teeny bit early.

“just curious,” Sans told you.

“Well, don’t be too _crush_ ed if I don’t tell you.”

“was that meant to be a pun?”

“Yes.”

“that was miserable. i’m disappointed in you.”

“Hey! At least I tried!”

“trying doesn’t excuse bad puns.”

You let out a loud guffaw. “You’re the KING of bad puns!”

“and my trying doesn't excuse it.”

“You suck. Is this a joke?”

“i’m not fu-king kidding.”

“And you said mine was bad. Screw you,” you laughed, flicking his arm. “What time’s it?”

Sans looked at his phone, then put it back. “we got some time left.”

“How much, though?”

“two minutes.”

“Well, I’ve already told you about _my_ day. Why not tell me about yours?”

He looked at you idly. “didn’t do much. went to my stations. slept. ate. slept some more. bugged pap with puns, then relaxed on the couch.”

You wanted to keep asking. “Pft, you’re not getting away that easily. What happened during all that?”

“nothin’,” Sans responded, waving you off.

“Did you have any dreams, then? C’mon. I wanna hear about your day, too. It shouldn’t be just me. I took up over half the time gabbing.”

“you had an eventful day,” Sans pointed out. “mine was slow.”

Clearly, a conversation could not continue like this. “Fair enough. What’s something else interesting that’s happened recently?”

“not a lot. i don’t do anything.”

“For someone who wants to talk, you aren’t doing a whole lot of talking,” you told Sans plainly.

He shrugged. “not much to say about me. you know it all.”

You didn’t say anything this time. You just looked at him. It was a lie. A blatant lie. Not that you blamed him-- you hid almost everything. You just had the sense to lie a little more and parade around the best you could like the little they knew _wasn’t_ everything. No one worked like that, and you mirrored their actions. The people who knew the most were Frisk, Toriel, Undyne, Grillby, and then Sans. In that order. Which was, to be perfectly honest, too much. You had grown lax with all the new burdens added to your already overflowing plate.

“There’s little things, though. I can’t read your mind, Sans,” you said. There was more playfulness encrypted in your voice this time. Sans scoffed at you, and lazily turned to you, giving you a sly grin.

“well, i’ve been teaching myself a new instrument recently.”

Yes, an actual _conversation._ Good things. “Lemme guess-- the trombone?”

“nah, that’s been for a while.” Sans’s smirk grew. “the xylo _bone.”_

The pun processed quickly, and you laughed. “Is it literally only so you can make more puns? Doesn’t that ever get tiring?”

“nah. i just go with the flow.”

“Wow, you _hippy,”_ you bantered. That was a good one on your end. Usually your puns were poor and didn’t _quite_ work.

Sans chortled. “that’s me,” he said. The skeleton opened his phone again, then stood up. “you ready to go?”

“Yeah, totally,” you responded, heaving yourself off the couch. Sans sort of slid off the couch in an upward motion, then offered his arm to you.

You took it, holding the fabric of his jacket lightly as you felt the world around you begin to warp out of existence, only to bring you back in it with a sudden jerk of gravity.

You were spared the embarrassment of losing your footing and falling right on your ass, but you still stumbled into Sans. “That was different,” you told him.

Sans laughed openly at you for a good ten seconds before knocking at Toriel’s door. He answered your question just as you were about to ask it, stating, “kinda rude to barge into someone else’s house without announcin’ your presence.”

“Just a moment!” you heard your adoptive mother call. When Sans took a step back from the door, the pull on your arm brought it to your attention that you were still clinging onto Sans.

A large part of you longed to keep clinging, but you separated from him and waited for your mother to open the door.

A click was followed soon after you parted from Sans, which was in turn followed by the round door opening. Inside stood Toriel, wearing an apron. “Hello, dear. Hello, Sans. Please come in!”

The two of you stepped into Toriel’s new abode, looking about the room. It wasn’t a big house, but it wasn’t cramped.

In the middle of the room, there was a table set up with platters of food. There was a tell-tale pie on the table, though, whether it was butterscotch or snail was up for debate. On top of that, there was mashed potatoes, salad, some sort of turkey (probably not real turkey, but who knows), asparagus, cornbread, and some stuff that you didn’t recognize.

Sans strolled the rest of the way in the house and dropped his coat on one of the chairs. “looks good,” Sans said. Toriel smiled.

“Papyrus and Frisk were very good helpers. Although, I kept Papyrus away from the stove. I heard a story about an explosion in your household and didn’t want a repeat in mine.” Toriel laughed.

You looked at Toriel, and immediately began to blurt out apologies about how you fell asleep and that you felt really bad about it and--

“Oh, my child, do not worry. Papyrus explained everything to me.” A sly smile crossed your mother’s face and you returned it with a look of confusion. “He showed me some pictures of you as well.”

You scrunched your face up, trying to process what your mother said. “What?” You couldn’t remember Papyrus taking any photos of you, at least, not recently.

Toriel just smiled even wider, and laughed lightly. “Perhaps you should ask him about it.”

The confusion just worsened, and you turned away, thinking hard about what pictures she could possibly be talking about. The pictures of you and Sans from what felt like forever ago came to mind, and then you froze. You fell asleep semi-snuggled next to Sans.

Could that be what she was talking about? You hoped not. There was only so much embarrassment you could take.

You decided you would not ask, and would pretend like you never heard what your mother said.

Sometimes it was better to be oblivious.

Papyrus rounded the corner with your sibling and their armless friend. All three of them were grinning widely, and when Frisk caught sight of you, they excitedly ran to you and hugged you tightly. “Hi Sis!” they said sprightly.

“Hey there, sweetie,” you said, ruffling their hair. The kid snuggled their face further into your torso, then released you.

“Hi Sans!” they shouted to Sans, who had placed himself in the chair that his coat was draped over.

Sans half-waved at Frisk, who bounced over to him to talk. Papyrus waved at you quickly, before turning to Sans and congratulating him for being on time. MK just gave you a toothy grin before following Frisk over to Sans. You saw Paps take a seat next to Sans.

“Hey, Mom, I might’ve found a job at a school here for you. A spot opened up and it’s yours if you want it most likely.”

Toriel’s eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands together. “Oh, my goodness! Really? Oh, I’m so happy! I’ll check that out. Thank you so much for telling me!”

“No problem, Mom,” you said, smiling a little.

With a happy face, Toriel turned away from you. She was smiling at the others at the table, but hurried to open the door when the sound of furious knocking erupted from it.

Undyne was standing outside of it, leaning on Alphys’s shoulder, and casually waved before walking inside.

“You nerd, I can’t believe you,” Undyne said, giving you a toothy grin. She waved her phone at you. “You know what things are for, right? Communication. I don’t know how your phone even died, you aren’t ever on it.”

You smirked and lightly punched her arm (and quickly dodging her rebuttal punch), saying, “I forgot to charge it because I don’t use it.”

Undyne rolled her eyes and let out an overly dramatic sigh. Alphys went over to Frisk and sat across from Sans. Undyne hunched over so she was more level with your height and then whispered, “I’m gonna ask her out after dinner. Think it’s a good idea?”

You almost spat out the water that you didn’t have. “Oh my god, really?” You felt a rush of excitement course through you, and did a little dance. “Yes, _yes,_ do it! You better tell me what she says. Oh my god, I’m so excited for you!”

The Head of the Royal Guard smiled a little bit more of a nervous smile, but she squeezed your shoulder, muttered a quick thanks, and then went and placed herself beside Alphys.

It had taken long enough for Undyne to decide to ask Alphys out.

If you had to count all the texts and complaints you had received from her, you’d probably just die. Math was never your thing. Neither was anything else, really. You didn’t do anything of interest, not in the Underground, not on the Surface, not anywhere in between…

Unless you counted killing everyone you loved. That was something you did that wasn’t the most boring shit ever. But then again, you were still a huge piece of human shit, because the most interesting thing you could say you ever did was commit mass genocide.

Fucking christ, you were a fucking mistake.

And you were.

 _“Don’t think of yourself that way,”_ Gaster said.

 _“Yeah, you’re not terrible at all,”_ Chara added.

You ignored them. Lies. You were used to them.

More people came in, and you greeted them all politely with Toriel.

Grillby. Hello, nice to see you again (sorry for being such a pile of garbage that never thought of how you felt, and never listened to your problems, and never helped with anything).

Mettaton. Heya. You’ve got quite a few fans here (you’d be a better role model to Frisk than I could ever be. All I’ve done is killed people and killed myself).

Napstablook! It’s so nice to see you! It’s been a while (I can’t even think about how other people suffer. I can’t think of anyone but myself, and I only can throw myself a pity party. Pathetic. Sorry for being so selfish).

Toriel guided you to the table.

Everyone talked happily, with you playing along, but you mainly weren’t listening.

There was a lot of flirting done by Mettaton, but nothing else stood out.

Your thoughts were consuming you.

You worthless, useless child. You should have been aborted, never should have even been born-- you really were the mistake. Was Frisk a mistake, too? No, they probably just wanted another slave. It was your fault Frisk suffered. Why didn’t you run away? You tried once, and it didn’t work, and so you never tried again? Coward. You never reported your uncle to the rest of the police, maybe they could’ve helped you. Maybe there’s kids still being abused in your town because you never said anything. 22 years of nothing but mistakes and suffering. Fuck you. Fuck you. You fucked everything up. you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about the people down here that had taken care of you, accepted you as family, as friends, as a normal person. Look at you-- ugly. Look at you-- whiny. Look at you-- fake. Look at you-- worthless. Look at you-- little victim. Look at you-- coward. Nothing good came from you, did it? No. Everyone here, all of them, every single one-- they hated you. They couldn’t stand you. It was all lies. All of it. All of it was lies, because it would only ever be lies for someone like _you._ This was what you deserved. These people shouldn’t have to tolerate you out of pity. They were good people. You weren’t. Why were you here? The odd one out. Kill yourself. You’ve tried before, why not again? It won’t ever get better. It never does. It’s all an illusion. Maybe this was all a fantastical hallucination. You were a crazy whore. Nothing mattered, nothing was worth it, nothing was--

“Mom?” you asked shakily.

“Yes, ____?” Toriel said, turning to you in her seat.

You’d chosen the seat on Sans’s other side, but now you could see that you were just a burden. You shouldn’t have even come. You should’ve died that day, the day you fell.

“Do you… have a trashcan or something?” you breathed. “I’m not feeling great.”

That was true. You were feeling really sick to your stomach. And the last thing you needed was to vomit suicide flowers all over Toriel’s new house.

Worry crossed Toriel’s face, and she got up and gently picked you up. Your mother. No, Frisk’s mother. You were a liability.

The queasiness suddenly spiked, and as Toriel was leading you to the trashcan, you almost heaved. Fuck. A few more steps, a few more…

You broke away from Toriel and rushed to the trashcan, mercifully in the kitchen, out of sight from the dinner table.

You thought more about everything, and suddenly began to vomit profusely. Much harder than you had been the last time this happened. You were choking, heaving and heaving.

You could feel the petals slip off your tongue and fall into the trashcan's lining with little _plip_ s. The red liquid also fell from your mouth, filling the trashcan.

The vomit finally stopped after about four minutes solid of you throwing up what felt like your entire being. You could hear Chara screaming inside your head, and Gaster panicking, and could hear Toriel’s worry, and some mutters from the other room.

Fuck.

They couldn’t see those flowers.

“___, is that _blood?”_ Toriel asked, horrified, putting her hand on your shoulder.

“Please don’t touch me,” you rasped, wiping the Determination from the corner of your lip. It had a weird tang to it that you hadn’t noticed before, similar to pineapples, but like mixed with blood and raw meat.

“Dear, we have to get you some help. Can you rest? Are you feeling okay? Is that blood? What is that?”

“Mom, don’t _worry about it,”_ you griped, picking yourself up.

Then came an odd question. “Did you eat any buttercups? Oh my god, oh my god, did you? Please tell me you didn’t!”

You gave her a look. “Why would I eat flowers?” you asked her hoarsely. You picked the lining up from the trashcan and tied it up, just in case she had seen the flowers.

“I-- One of my other children did-- the flowers are quite poisonous, they threw up a lot of blood, oh dear.” she whimpered.

“I didn’t eat any buttercups,” you assured Toriel. “I think I might have caught a cold. That’s not blood. I’m just gonna go home and try to sleep it off.”

“C-Can I see it?” Alphys asked. You looked at her, your heart suddenly racing. Alphys was gonna know what you were throwing up, and you weren’t exactly hyped for spending an eternity at her lab.

“I think it’s something I drank earlier,” you told her evasively. “Don’t worry about it. I’m going home, guys.”

Sans entered the room. Oh no. The room was filling up. If you didn’t dispose of that bag soon, those flowers were gonna start blabbing and you were gonna be in a shit ton of trouble. “i don’t think it’s a good idea for you to walk like this,” he said.

No. You were not in any state to walk at all. “I’m fine,” you said firmly, walking past everyone with the trash bag tightly in your grasp.

You walked right out the door and towards the dumpster outside Toriel’s home, throwing the bag inside.

Coughs racked your body. Fuck. The bad thoughts were seeping back in. You had to get away from everyone quickly.

The door to Toriel’s house opened, and the sounds of footsteps came marching out into the snow. You tried to contain your coughs in a vain effort, but they just came out twice as hard and about 90 times more painful.

Well, this was humiliating. A new low for you. Good job. Really nice way to top off what was one of your better days.

The footsteps seemed to trail back inside, and for a moment, you felt some stress lift.

“hey.”

Oh no. Please no.

“___.”

“Sans,” you croaked.

Right at this moment, you felt like utter shit.

“i’m gonna take you home, okay?”

Yeah. Okay. “You don’t have to.”

“you’re right. i don’t. but i told you i was here for you, and i meant it. even if you throw up on my favorite hoodie.”

He was trying to lighten the mood. God, you wished he liked you. You wished you deserved him.

“But… why are you here?”

Sans made a face. “i was invited.”

“No. Why are you here for me? Why would you do that to yourself?” The fragile voice you spoke with shattered. “Why bother with me?” Tears were falling down your cheeks. Breaking down in front of the outsiders was always the worst part.

They’d never understand, never would get what it was like.

“why… bother with you?” Sans sounded genuinely perturbed. “why bother with you? what kinda question is that? i bother with you because i like you. i bother with you because i think you’re something special. i bother with you because you make me happy when i’m around you. i bother with you because i think you’re worth all of the time i’m around you.”

You couldn’t meet eyes with him, you just sobbed harder, rocking yourself back and forth. God, there it was again. Pushing away the people that mattered.

Sans lifted you up, and then held onto you firmly.

The next thing you knew, you were back home, in your room, no less. “I’m sorry,” you cried, sitting on your bed. Fuckup.

“you don’t have anything to be sorry for. hey… hey…” Sans sat next to you, and your heart lurched. He wrapped his arms around you, softly hugging you, shushing you softly.

You hugged him back, shuddering and sobbing. His coat was soft and warm, and you tried to make it so you were enveloped by it more.

You were so alone. You always had been. You didn’t want to be alone anymore. You hated it, you hated being alone so much.

“sweetheart,” Sans said softly, rubbing circles with his thumb on your shoulder, “i’m always here for you. you don’t have to bottle up all this anxiety and fear around me, _ever.”_

The words were familiar.

Had you heard them from him some time before?

Wait. Did he call you sweetheart?

“i’m gonna stay here for as long as you need me, and even longer than that if you want me to.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured. You did feel a lot better, as if a dark murk had been brushed away from your brain. Not entirely-- your thoughts were still assailing you. But Sans had made a small breach in the enemy lines.

“for what? there’s not anything to be sorry for,” he said, squeezing your arm.

“But there’s so much I’ve done, so much that’s happened, and I know you don’t know any of it, because I’m a liar, I’m a liar, and I always have been,” you said. It felt like you were one of those kids that you used to know when you were in school that tried to make it all about them. Patheti--

“then tell me. or don’t. sometimes it’s scary to tell the truth,” Sans replied. “i lie, too. i tell people i don’t know my parents, but i do. my mom died when i was a kid, and my dad… he disappeared. i hated my dad, too, but i don’t tell anyone that, either. i’m scared of resets and i feel like everything is pointless so much of the time, but i don’t tell people that. not even really grillby.”

“I’m scared, Sans. Sans, I’m so afraid. The truth? The truth is that I hope I never get to the surface because there’s nowhere for me to go. That’s the truth.”

It wasn’t the truth you should’ve told. You should’ve told him about your parents, but you weren’t ready. You couldn’t.

“then we’ll make somewhere for you to go. you like the stars? we can all live somewhere where it’s easy to see them. you like the city? we’ll go there. you want to stay here? we’ll stay by you.”

You were still unconvinced, and the feeling of throwing up was again looming. Words weren’t coming to you, but you had so many protests. Why were you protesting? There was no logic to it. Accept that someone cares.

But it was hard. How do you accept that someone might actually care when you’ve spent two decades of nobody caring at all? How do you accept people are different when you’ve only ever been around a few for most of your life?

Words you wanted to say but yet still wanted to keep encrypted.

The tears had stopped, and Chara and Gaster’s voices were bleeding back into your mind. You ignored their calls to you.

So many things you wanted to say, yet knew you wouldn’t. You had told Undyne almost everything within a few seconds, and she was still there for you-- so why was this different? Why was it so damn scary to tell the truth to Sans?

He could tell that you were holding back a lot of information. You knew he could. The silence and the way he was acting were out of character for him.

The words still could not come to you.

So you said nothing.

The skeleton sighed softly,hugged you tightly to him, and said, “i know you’re going through a lot. i know there’s a lot you won’t tell me. i know. but that doesn’t change that you are _you._ i wanna be friends with _you._ and if that means i don’t get the full story, that’s okay. because i’d rather have you the way you are than have a you that told every single thing to me and was, well, not you.”

Your heart fluttered again, he starting rubbing your shoulder gently, moving down to your forearm, and then held your arm. His fingertips were tracing one of your bones softly, and then stopped, saying, “you are the _ulna_ way i want ya.”

 

And with that, you were crying again, but for a totally different reason.

 

About a month passed where things started feeling better. Lots of people had stopped by during that time, all making sure that you were feeling better, that your “illness” was improving, that you were back to yourself.

Sans came to visit the most often out of all of them (well, besides Undyne. Even if she wasn’t your roommate, you were fairly certain she would have never left your side. You almost had an aneurysm because of how much she was babying you), and made a clear effort to show you that he was there for you.

It made you feel warmer inside each time it happened, and made it better whenever Alphys would come over to study your soul.

Speaking of Alphys. Don’t even get you started on how excited you were about the big _date._ Undyne had _not_ asked Alphys out after dinner, it turns out. She’d gone to drop her off at the lab and then right back home, where she replaced Sans and insisted that the two of you were having a cooking and anime marathon together.

She had asked her out a week after your collapse, though.

It was pretty cute. Alphys got all flustered and practically stuttered every single word, but it was made official between them.

Though there were times the two were somewhat insufferable, they tended to just be a normal, cute couple.

Alphys was over frequently as a result, and each time she came over, if you were home, she would quickly examine your soul, give you a small injection of Determination, and leave. Each day, your soul grew grayer, but somehow, it didn’t matter to you as much.

Flower had also made himself a more reappearing figure, which meant you were spending more time with Gaster in the void.

Whenever you went to the void, Gaster would make little creations with his magic for you, just for your amusement. Though you were still shaky with him, he was making a more clear effort to show you he wasn’t the same as _them._ The odd blackness on your dress had faded away, too. When  you asked Gaster about the blackness, he got uncomfortable and basically said he would inform you about it “another day.”

You took this as a sign that you were not going to be enlightened any time in the near future, so you dropped it.

The most recently you had visited Gaster, he looked almost fully solid. His face didn’t droop at all, and he was able to keep himself very well composed while practicing his magic.

Jokingly, he told you maybe he’d teach you how to do it one day. You laughed it off with him.

Frisk and MK (you found out that his name was not ‘Monster Kid,’ but _Mickey)_ were very close now, it seemed. Toriel got stressed sometimes with how often they were over, with her trying out for a new job and just moving. That’s why you ended up babysitting them at Undyne’s house every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. Mainly you babysat Frisk, but MK was basically their shadow.

Their favorite game was hide-and-seek, but each time they seemed to get better at hiding, and then you’d think you had lost them, and then you’d get a massive headache.

The time when Frisk hid in the piano (don’t even _ask_ how they managed to fit themselves there) was almost the death of you. You were looking around for your younger sibling with MK when they jumped out of the instrument and right at you.

Sometimes you swore you could still still hear your shrieks ringing in your ears.

Today was a Sunday, and you were watching the two kids as usual.

Frisk and MK were allowed in the bedroom only under your supervision, and you usually wouldn’t let them (Undyne was extremely indignant), but today, you were tired. The TV was in the bedroom, as well as the DVD player, so it wasn’t like you were trying to find reasons to stay in your soft warm, thought-consuming bed…

“Sis!” Frisk shouted, making you jolt upright in bed.

Rubbing your eyes sleepily, you put on your most alert voice and said, “What’s up, kid?”

Frisk pointed their tiny finger at the TV accusingly. “How do you get the movie to play?”

Groaning to yourself, you slid off your bed and lumbered over to the DVD player, squatting down, and pointedly pressing the power button. The TV flickered to life, and you gestured sleepily at your work. “Voila,” you yawned.

MK had himself nestled into the couch cushions, as did Frisk.

You lifted yourself in one sloppy motion and started heading back for your cozy den when Frisk’s hand latched onto your sleeve. “What’s the issue?”

“Watch it with us! It’s about pirates.”

“ _Pirates of the Caribbean_?” you asked, sitting down beside Frisk.

“Yeah, that one!”

Undyne had shown you the movies she had from the series a few times, and you actually enjoyed them. A small part of you saddened each time you watched it, since it used to be Alex’s favorite movie series. She used to talk your ear off about them, insisting that once you moved out of your parents’ house, you were gonna watch every single one of them with her whether you liked it or not.

Sometimes you really missed her. That nurse who had given you your beloved sweater was someone else you also missed. A few friends from highschool came to mind from time to time as well, but since most of them cut ties with you completely and rather nastily, you tended to care less about their friendship.

The movie started up, with MK hushing Frisk and gesturing at the TV with his head in jerky movements. Frisk quickly hushed and glued their eyes to the screen.

You remembered seeing maybe half the movie, closing your eyes for just a second, and then you suddenly saw Frisk’s face a few centimeters from yours. The scream was contained this time, and you blearily opened your eyes from your nap.

“Sis, Mom’s here. I’m gonna go home,” they said. You sat up, and started looking for MK. “He already went home,” Frisk informed you, seeing you look around.

“‘Kay, lemme just see Mom real quick and I’ll let you go.”

Frisk bounced off your lap and scurried out of the bedroom. You followed, embarrassed by your failure as a babysitter. It was a good thing that Frisk and MK were mellow kids-- mostly.

There wasn’t even a reason that you were so tuckered out; you hadn’t done much all day and had slept very well the day before. Undyne hadn’t been over (there was a meeting with the Royal Guard she had to attend), neither had Sans. Frisk and MK had only been over for about twenty minutes when you had your sudden energy crash.

Maybe it was just one of those days, you reasoned, walking out to greet Toriel.

“Hey, Mom,” you said.

Toriel was holding Frisk’s hand, and looked up at you, then smiled. “Hello, ___. I have some good news. You will not have to be babysitting Frisk any longer.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“I have successfully landed the job! I will start after this school year is over.” She petted Frisk’s hair gently. “Also, Frisk has been enrolled in school, so they will not have as much free time.”

From Toriel’s side, Frisk signed, “ _I’m going to teach my class sign language.”_

 _“That’s great, sweetie,”_ you signed back. You looked back to Toriel. “Well, that makes sense. I’m still free whenever you need me.”

Toriel smiled kindly at you. “Thanks, ____.”

She and your sibling left the house, heading back home. You watched idly, then went back inside and checked the time.

“7:30? What the hell?” you muttered. The mystery deepens.

 _“Maybe you’re getting old,”_ Chara said as she materialized before you, sitting on the kitchen table.

“Ha-ha. You’re older than me, aren’t you?”

 _“Only technically,”_ Chara said bitterly.

You snorted. “Yeah, yeah. You’re probably right, anyways. I am twenty-two. That’s right at the end of the lifespan of humans.”

 _“Oh, indeed. Humans frequently die at that age,”_ Gaster added, trying to join in on the joke.

Chara made a face. _“That killed it,”_ she declared.

Gaster laughed. You imagined him sitting alone in an endless darkness, watching what you saw through a screen. He still hadn’t said how he’d gotten himself to such a state exactly, but you weren’t very interested in asking him.

You stretched, popping your back. Part of you wondered if Gaster hated it like Sans did, but you brushed it aside and walked back to your bed, ready to just end the day.

As you draped yourself beneath your covers, your phone pinged.

You figured you could respond to one last text before you went to bed. Leaning over and grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you saw a text from Sans.

*sansy: “hey. sorry i couldnt visit today”

You grinned at your phone. *”Don’t worry about it. How was your day?”

*sansy: “extravagantly dull”

*”Ooh, pulling out the big words I see. What happened”

*sansy: “i sold hot dogs and hot cats all day and was yelled at by paps and slept”

*sansy: “with the occasional pun”

*”Sounds pretty typical for you”

*sansy: “well i didnt see u today so that was atypical”

*”I think you’ll live to see another day”

Your text was sarcastic, but you found yourself smiling nonetheless.

*sansy: “i can see the darkness setting in”

*sansy: “the end is near”

*”Drama queen”

*sansy: “if u dont have plans tomorrow i was thinking we could hang out”

*”Nothing currently”

*”What were u thinking”

*sansy: “nothing big. just hanging out at your place or mine”

*sansy: “or we could walk around”

You smiled. *”Sounds like a plan. btw I’m rly tired so i think im gonna go to bed”

*sansy: “seeya tomorrow, ____”

*”Seeya then”

You fell asleep, smiling.

The nightmares soon changed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I say it so much but thank you all SO MUCH for everything you've done for me. Even if it's only putting in your time to read this, thank you. It all means so much to me.


	25. There's an Expiration Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S THIS ANOTHER CHAPTER UP EARLY?? YEP  
> AND IT'S NOT AN ANNIVERSARY?? YEP  
> SO YOU MEAN I JUST WROTE A TON FOR ONCE (bc i have been really sick)??  
> Y  
> E  
> P
> 
> Enjoy, guys! ;)

The void was where you were. That by itself was fine; it’s become somewhat of a second home at this point. But you could feel that there was something off this time.

The first thing that struck you as peculiar was your clothes. You were wearing a black crop top that looked more like a sports bra than anythings else, dark gray jeans, gray sneakers, and had on black, fingerless gloves. The crop top was the most unusual out of everything you were wearing. It showed off all of your scars, but most importantly, it showed off _the_ scar. The one just above your bellybutton.

You had the gray echo flowers growing from your head again, but not in a flower crown. They instead grew in a semi-messy clump on the left side of your head.

And then you looked up.

Your mother stood before you, looking down at you the same way she always did. She held herself like someone had just put some really bad smelling trash right under her nose, and somehow looked bigger.

Your heart was pounding. Fear and anger hit you hard, and you backed up a little bit.

She stayed where she was, with the same look of disgust etched on her face. The woman had deteriorated since the last time you saw her. Though the face she wore was the same, her hair had lots of gray in it and she had more effects of age than that last day.

You continued stumbling backwards, terrified. Mommy dearest began to follow.

The steps you took were timid and jittery, each step more shaky than the last. The ones she took were powerful and swift.

As she neared you, two other people apparated behind her. One was your father, who looked almost exactly the same as he had before, and the other was the red-eyed Chara.

Chara was smiling widely at you. Some black liquid leaked from the corners of her mouth as she openly laughed at you.

In horror, you saw other people begin to appear behind them. Your uncle, friends that had abandoned you, old teachers, Flowey, and the list goes on.

You couldn’t look at them any longer, and turned tail and ran.

It was as if there was an impending doom coming in one black sweep as you scuttled away from it like an arachnid.

In the distance, you could see people.

Frisk, Sans, Undyne, Papyrus, Gaster, Toriel, Grillby, Alphys, Asgore, Napstablook, the nurse from so long ago, Alex, and the familiar brown-eyed Chara.

There was some light shrouded around the figures, and you knew that you had to get to them. Get to them or be lost.

A weird sound that could only be described as ‘gloopy’ began to pop and gurgle from just a few feet behind you, and the inordinate fear peaked.

It was terrifying. You felt the fear consume you, and could hear the flowers hissing the words of the dead in that voice that only existed in the deepest corners of your mind. The flowers spoke utterances that you already knew came from your lips at some other time. _“Worthless.” “I never wanted this life.” “I just want it to end.” “Please let this stop.” “I’m sorry that I was never good enough.” “I’m sorry that I can’t be what I pretend I am.” “Don’t leave me, please, please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave, but there’s no other choice.” “This is the last life, I hope.” “I wish Frisk would stop it.” “I want them to stop it. Stop coming back for me.” “Oh, god, why won’t you STOP IT?!” “PLeaSe sTop iiTt, StOoP iT nO moRE” “NOMORENOMORE--” “Frisk… why won’t you stop it?” “It’s a never-ending cycle.” “I won’t make it out of here, no matter what. I’m a mistake in this world.” “I can’t keep coming back. I don’t want to keep coming back to disappoint everyone the same way.” “It’s goodbye again, then. The longest time I’ve been here yet, I think. It feels new, now. But I know it won’t last.” “I’ve broken another promise this time. I can’t understand you, Frisk. Why do you keep coming back? This is hurting more than just us now.” “I know that you’ll never stop. But I wish you would, sweetie. Goodbye.” “I’ve given up.” “I’m sorry. The promises I tell are lies. I won’t keep any of them.”_

The words bled into your mind, and you tried to keep running. It latched onto your leg, and an onyx slime began to travel up your body, and the voices of those following you replaced the ones of your flowers.

As the the darkness traveled over your body, one flower replaced the ones you loved, one singular gray flower.

It was lighter than most of the other flowers, and began to twist towards you, silvery leaves snaring around you in a cold yet soft grasp.

The ashen flower began to wilt to you as you cried, knowing you lost.

The flower began to speak to you, but no longer in the voice that only makes itself known in the back of your head.

The flower spoke to you in the same voice that you normally spoke with, but in a hushed whisper with some suppressed sobs.

 

_“I won’t see the stars with you. I won’t see the surface with you. I know it’s what you want. I know it’s what you hope for everyday. I don’t tell you half the story, and I’m sorry for that. You could never understand how this feels, though. It doesn’t get better, and no matter what happens, I always seem to fall back down when I get picked up. The peace, we both know, never lasts. You know, I’m surprised. You stay here even though you know it won’t change. Just… I’ve given up. I won’t even give you this flower. I guess I’m sorry for that, too. I hope that if you ever do find this flower, you know that you were part of almost every one of the happy moments in my life. I’ve said the same words so many times, but I can’t find any flower out of all of these that has addressed you. None of this is fair to you, and I’m so sorry for that. But this is the truth. I don’t make it past this month. This day. This year. I’m at my end, yet again, and all I can say is that,_

_“I’m sorry, Sans.”_

 

The ooze took over you as the flower’s embrace left your body.

 

And again, you were lost to the world of hidden agony.

 

Soley yourself yet never truly in control of yourself.

 

The tears made some holes within the tar that had trapped you, but it sealed itself back up.

 

And you could hear your mother, and your father, and Chara, and Flowey, and your uncle, and the lost friends, and the world you had so desperately wanted to abandon.

  


When you woke up, you did not wake up crying, or kicking and screaming. You did not awaken to a new pain that would put you right back into the clutches of Chara.

You just woke up.

Despite the fact you knew you had a dream, and that it was a bad dream, you couldn’t recall it in the slightest. There was a bit of sweat trickling down your forehead, and your heart rate was elevated ever-so-slightly. You shut your eyes, breathing in and out. This was definitely not enough to trigger some kind of panic attack or… flower… vomit?

Ew. Forget you thought that.

The dream’s effects wore off and you swung your legs off the bed, stretching.

Your shirt had somehow made its way up your torso, showing off your scar.

Lethargically, you traced your fingers across the jagged skin, remembering that day when you were sixteen. The blade had gotten stuck about halfway when you started slicing into the flesh, so you had to yank it hard, making a slight zig-zag to the scar. It was obviously very permanent, but you remembered staring at the bandages around your torso and hoping that maybe it would go away one day. You thought about how humans had scar cream back on the surface. As you pulled your shirt back down, you wondered if it would make much of a difference. Surely it could for your arms, but when it came to your back and stomach, you had your doubts.

The scar wove its way into your mind, and you felt yourself deflate. Thoughts of why that scar got there were creeping back into your mind, as was the aftermath of after the wound was inflicted.

Frisk’s face.

The kid didn’t even know.

You rubbed your face, grumbling to yourself.

You remembered that you and Sans were going to hang out, and tried to convince yourself it outweighed the bad thoughts.

It did not, but you pretended like it did anyways.

You looked over to Undyne’s bed, surprised to see that she was not there. She was supposed to have come back home.

Opening your phone, you noticed a few texts from Sans, but you didn’t see any from Undyne. Small spikes of worry hit you.

Opening Undyne’s contact, you texted, *”Hey man, where r u”

Her response was immediate. *Dirty Undies: “Alphys’ house”

*”You spend the night there?”

*Dirty Undies: “I did actually”

*Dirty Undies: “She’s still sleeping”

*”Alright, well, I wont bug u 2 lovebirds any longer. Text me next time you do that tho”

*Dirty Undies: “Alright”

Part of you wondered, but you also didn’t want to know what they had done. Hey, it wasn’t your business, and you’d rather them not tell you about it.

You opened Sans’s contact to look over the texts, and noticed they’d been sent around 8:00, 8:30, and then 9:00.

*sansy: “hey so where do u wanna hang out? paps is hanging out with mettaton right now so my place probably wouldnt be the best but if you wanna hang here thats fine”

*sansy: “are you still sleeping”

*sansy: “im guessing yes then”

You checked the time. 9:14.

*”Heya, sorry, I was sleeping. We can hang out here, Undyne’s with Alphys atm”

*sansy: “alright cool”

*sansy: “what time were u thinkin”

You considered this for a moment, but then remembered you no longer had any obligations. You were free from babysitting today. *”Any time’s fine”

*sansy: “15 minutes cool w u”

*”Sure”

No, not actually all that okay, because you were a mess that had just woken up. Your phone pinged, alerting you with a new message, but you ignored it, searching through your drawer for a good shirt and pants.

You settled for some soft blue jeans and your all-time-favorite gray sweater.

The dark gray sleeves with the rest of the turtleneck being a light gray was very interesting to you. Plus, some decent people came to mind whenever you wore it, so that was a bonus.

You tried your best to tame your hair, and managed for the most part. You just tied it in an extravagant (and totally not shitty and half-assed looking) bun. You grabbed your toothbrush from the bathroom and started brushing your teeth as you simultaneously attempted to don socks and shoes.

It took probably four minutes longer than normal, but you managed, hopping up, and grabbing your phone to see what time it was. 9:26.

That worked for you.

The message that you had ignored while in your panicked frenzy to get dressed was finally acknowledged by you as you picked up your phone.

*sansy: “dont be too surprised when i show up”

_“???? What,”_ you thought.

_Yes, exactly like that._ You felt the incorrect grammar most accurately depicted how you felt at that moment.

_“That’s weird. Gaster, your kid is weird.”_

_“I think I understand what he means,”_ Gaster said.

_“Maybe it’s hereditary then, because I don’t get it either,”_ you responded, leaving the bedroom.

Chara snickered, and Gaster laughed lightly. _“We’ll see in about three or four minutes, won’t we?”_

_“I guess,”_ you thought.

_“If we don’t, you gotta tell us, Gaster,”_ Chara spouted instantly.

Gaster agreed (albeit a bit sarcastically), and Chara responded pompously that _he’d BETTER!_

Impatiently, you sat at the table, curious about Sans. Drumming your fingers on the table, you kept checking your phone, despite nothing showing on the screen. Sighing, you pushed the small device away from you. You decided to get a glass of water, but then there was a knock on the door, and you changed your mind.

You walked over to the door and saw Sans, as expected.

“Heya. Come in,” you said as Sans let himself in anyways.

“heya. you know what today is?”

You looked at Sans oddly. He’d had some weird conversation starters, but at least they weren’t right out of nowhere. “Uhh. Monday?”

Sans rolled his eyes, and you suddenly noticed he had his hands behind him. “sure. you know the date?”

“No?”

Sans’s smile grew, and he held his left hand in front of him, in which he held a small box wrapped messily in newspaper.

“happy birthday,” he said softly.

Your eyes widened. It had been a long time since your birthday had been celebrated or even acknowledged. Even Frisk didn’t celebrate it, since neither of you knew the date after you’d been booted from school.

You felt your cheeks grow ruddy. “Wait. Wait, really?” You were trying to stop your heart from pounding rapidly, taking deep breaths as quietly as you could. Adrenaline made itself known in your veins.

Sans laughed at you, and took your hand, placing the box in it. “no, absolutely not,” he said sarcastically.

You smiled nervously at him. “Can I open it?”

“go for it.” Sans grinned widely at you.

You walked over to the table and plunking down in one of the chairs surrounding it. The little box you held in your hand seemed like it was holding the secrets to the universe, and would blow up if you opened it.

That being said, you peeled off all the newspaper to find a little cardboard box inside it. You opened up the box giddily.

As you were opening the box, Sans had taken the seat next to you, and was leaning on the table with his elbow. He seemed almost equally as excited for you to open it.

You peered into the box, and removed a toy figure, confused.

“here, put it on the table,” Sans said.

The small figurine was set down on the table as requested, and then you looked back at Sans, still bewildered. You were happy that he even thought of you, though. It was just an odd present.

Sans’s left eye flashed blue for a moment, and a slight turquoise aura appeared around his hand, and the figurine came to life.

He was clearly using his magic to puppeteer the doll, but you loved it anyways. The little cream doll danced around your head, doing little pirouettes and leaps.

You laughed, watching the figure in interest. It did a little bow right in front of you, before dancing around you again.

Eventually, Sans had the figure dance back to it’s box, where it sat inside and crossed its arms serenely.

As soon as that little figurine was back where it started, you flung yourself at Sans and hugged him aggressively. Sans made a small startled noise, but laughed it off and hugged you back, patting your back.

“Thank you so much, Sans!” you said, still feeling jittery. You weren’t going to cry. You were _not_ going to cry. You almost started to cry from happiness, but you managed to stop yourself.

“no problem, kiddo,” Sans said.

“I’ve never gotten a birthday present before,” you told him, separating from him. You wouldn’t have said something like that normally, but somehow, you felt like it was easier to talk to Sans than it used to be.

He looked a little surprised. “really? do they not celebrate them on the surface?”

“Well, they do, but we never celebrated mine. My old friend Alex did a few times, though. And if Frisk had a calendar, I’m sure they would’ve, too.”

Sans furrowed his brow bone slightly. “you didn’t have a calendar?”

You suddenly felt like you had divulged too much information and instantly waved off his comment. “My parents weren’t real concerned with dates,” you told him nonchalantly.

Sans did not seem to believe you. “really?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t their thing.” You stood up. “Wanna walk around?”

Sans still looked doubtful, but he agreed, standing up. “anywhere specific in mind, birthday girl?”

You suggested walking around Waterfall for a bit. It wasn’t something that you had any impulse to say openly, but Waterfall was your favorite place in the Underground, landscape-wise. The two of you walked out, locking the door behind you.

“you ever gone to the star cave before?”

“Yeah, but usually it’s just passing through.”

“wanna look at it?”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, I’ve always wondered, why name that place the star cave when Snowdin has way more crystals?”

“they don’t look like stars when they completely cover the entire ceiling,” Sans pointed out.

You suddenly felt dumb. “Guess I shoulda put that together,” you laughed nervously.

Sans laughed at you lightly, shaking his head. “don’t worry ‘bout it. we all ask questions like that.”

The two of you kept walking. “Well, usually people aren’t as dumb as me.”

“don’t _star_ t with me.”

You gaped at Sans, working through your mind to find some sort of comeback. You couldn’t think of one, and openly complained that you were too dumb to come up with good puns.

Sans laughed at you again, and you snorted. “it’s a talent,” Sans told you.

“Well, I’m sans said talent.”

Sans stopped walking, and stared at you as you began cackling at your joke. You knew it wasn’t attractive, but you were so delighted with yourself that you didn’t care.

Sans started laughing yet again, only this time, he kept laughing for a good five minutes.

You felt proud of yourself. Sans laughing for so long at such a shit joke was a gift as it was.

He snickered and snorted, wiping a fake tear from his eyesocket. “that was a good comeback.”

“I’m not sure if it was _that_ good,” you told him, continuing your walk. Sans insisted that it was, and you responded, “Maybe it was only that good because you weren’t expecting such a response.

“that could also be part of it,” he admitted.

“I think it’s _most_ of it.”

You two talked for a bit more, as the star cave came into view. Sans had changed the subject back to the star cave, and was explaining that monsters used the room as a wishing room.

“the echo flowers whisper the wishes back, since they’re in there.”

“Have you ever made a wish?”

There was a quick uncomfortable pause. “... yes. a few times.”

“Recently?”

“nah, not for a while.”

The two of you reached the star cave’s entrance, and Sans gestured for you to go in first.

The gemstones glittering on the roof of the cave did resemble stars somewhat, but they just looked like poor star replicas.

Still beautiful, but lacking that mesmerizing quality.

Sans stuffed his hands into his pockets. “nice, right?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” you agreed.

“not as nice as the real thing, though.”

You turned to Sans, surprised. Quirking an eyebrow, you said, “You mean based off the movies you’ve seen?”

“well…. kinda. i actually saw them, once.”

“Wait, what? When? How?” You were floored. “When-- did you get to the surface in another timeline?”

“that was a long time ago. the very first timeline.”

Something vague rang in your ears. Part of it sounded like Chara’s words, but part of it sounded like it was a scene ripped from a movie.

It was too quiet to name it, but it sounded like running.

“And Frisk reset?” you said, feeling guilty. Was it your fault? Did they do that for you?  
Sans shrugged. “presumably. it’s okay, though. as long as we’re happy down here, we don’t really need the surface.”   
You sat down, and Sans sat beside you. “Wouldn’t you rather be on the surface if you could, though?”

Again, that uncomfortable silence. “not if it means that someone gets left behind.” It was said with such finality that you felt your heart clench.

“What’s your wish, then?” Changing the subject. One of your few talents. “I mean, getting to the surface has to be what most monsters wish for, right?”

“yeah, most of them. i don’t know. i don’t exactly have a solid wish.”

“Everyone wishes for something,” you said, hugging your knees, staring at the sparkling ceiling. “There’s something we all want that we can’t get.”

Sans silently considered your words, before he reclined backwards, laying down, gazing at the crystals.

You looked over to him, seeing that his eyesockets were dark.

Turning away to look at the roof of the cave, you waited. He would answer. Sans didn’t leave questions hanging.

“what would you wish for?”

Or maybe he does.

“No way, buddy. I asked you first,” you said defiantly.

“you tell me and i’ll tell you.”

“Oh, pbbbbbbt. You suck. Give the birthday girl a break. Consider it as another present.”

“wow, that’s a lotta gifts. i feel like i should get one in return. maybe answering the question i asked.”

You looked at him bitterly. “I only get more presents if you do it first,” you pointed out.

You heard Sans mutter “damn” under his breath, and you felt victorious. He sighed, putting his hands under his skull. “what i wish for?”

“That’s the question, yes,” you confirmed.

“no more resets. no more need for resets. for things to work out okay.”

Oof. You were kinda expecting him to pull “clean socks” or some shit like that, with all that fake build-up. No. He was honest.

“I’m sure. It can’t be easy… to remember… to relive it all over and over…. I wish it never happened to you.”

“i know. hey, it’s not like there’s a lot to be done. talking to frisk never did much for me.”

“They’re stubborn. Whatever they’re resetting for, they must really want. Or need.” You wound your fingers together, wringing them anxiously. You had an idea of who they were resetting for. There was only one thing that seemed to disappear, after all.

Sans looked at you. “i can understand why they do it. if i were in their situation, i can’t say i’d be much better.” Pause. “maybe i would be.” Pause. “but i don’t know.”

“You don’t need to know. You’re not in that situation.”

“that’s true, i guess.” Sans sat back up, leaning forwards. “so, you heard my wish. what’s your wish, birthday girl?”

“Haaah.” Making eye contact with Sans, you gazed at him for a moment before breaking the connection. “I don’t know. There’s a lot. Maybe… I… Maybe for Frisk to have had a better childhood on the surface.”

Sans didn’t say anything. Neither did you. You crossed your legs and plucked an echo flower from the ground, turning it around.

“They’re tough, but they grew up so much faster than everyone else. I wish that they’d just gotten to be a kid longer. But, hey, here, they’re flourishing in their young-ness. So, wish granted, I guess?”

“what was their childhood like?”

You could tell him everything right now. Everything.

You could avoid it all. Change the subject.

“Bad,” you said softly. You tugged on your sleeves. “Our parents were…” You inhaled shakily. “Our parents weren’t great. They were really neglectful.”

You felt like puking. You were shaking so much that maybe you were actually freezing without knowing it. And what you said wasn’t even the full truth.

Neglectful?

Well, sure. Sometimes. It would’ve been better if it was just neglect.

“____… you do know that i’m here for you, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“you can trust me, you know that, too?”

“I do trust you. It’s just… hard. To talk. About. Hah.”

Sans wrapped an arm around you, holding you tightly. His coat smelled distinctly like ketchup, pine needles, and like the smell of the sidewalk after it had rained. You had never really taken it in before. Sure, you noticed it. But now you _knew_ it.

“you don’t need to tell me right now,” he said softly into your ear. “when you’re ready.”

You leaned on Sans’s shoulder, considering all the things that you could say that would ruin everything. An unseen query was holding you to Sans, one that could ruin a friendship. But you wanted to know so badly. You wanted to ask so badly.

“Sans.”

“what’s up?” he hummed, pulling away from you.

Suddenly, this seemed like a terrible idea. You wanted to back out.

_“____, you can do this! Stop being a baby! You’ve GOT THIS!”_

_“It’s alright, ____. Try to think about just right now, not what’s next.”_

“Sans.”

“that’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

“Ha-ha. No. Sans.”

It occurred to you that you sounded really dumb. And scared. Now your voice was the one that was secretly freezing.

“you okay?”

“Yes. Yes. Just.” You sighed, then covered your face anxiously. The skin burned, and you silently swore at your body for betraying you. “So, I have a question?”

“ask away. but no promises that i won’t ask for a favor in return. that’s three presents.”

You snorted really loudly. You felt just the slightest bit less scared. “I know I sound like a dumb teenager. But, you know, I really like you.”

You realized that was not a question.

You remedied your mistake. “So, you know, I was wondering. If you’d like to get dinner sometime. Or maybe coffee. Or whatever.”

You said it. There.

 

Damn, you wish you could revoke your offer. This was rejection central, and you were becoming well aware of it.

 

“are you asking me on a date?”

The humiliation drove harder into you. This was your chance to back out, even though he’d always know. This was the last chance to salvage your friendship. “Yes,” you told him succinctly, your voice shaking harder than ever.

“this isn’t a joke?”

Fuck. You should’ve backed out. Fuck. “No. Not a joke.” Sans just stared back at you, and you broke a bit, the jitters inside of you becoming too much. You stood. “Hey,if not, that’s okay. I get it. I think I’m gonna go back home, if that’s cool with you.”

Sans jolted to his feet. “hey, hey, hey, wait, wait.”

Sans was standing right in front of your escape route, and more dread filled you. Oh no.

“are you free tomorrow?”

Wait.

No, you didn’t believe it.

Maybe you were overthinking this. Maybe that was when he would want to continue this conversation of rejection. Maybe his break was over and he had to go back to work.

“Yes, I am. I think. Unless Undyne does something.”

Chara and Gaster were now both silent.

“so, does like, ice skating work for you? around one.”

Good things didn’t happen to you. This was not real.

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that.”

But maybe it was real this time.

Sans was a bright blue, but he kept his tone mellow. “great. sounds fantastic. you want me to come get you? because i can. and then there’s _snow_ way you’ll be late.”

Involuntarily, you laughed, decompressing a little. “Really?”

“yes, really.”

“Sure, you can pick me up.”

Sans grinned wider. “so, i’ll see you then?”

“Yes.”

Your heart was pounding hard. It thundered so heavily, you wondered in the darkest corners of your mind if Sans could hear it. Or worse yet, an echo flower would pick up on it.

_“Echo flowers only pick up voices, no need to worry,”_ Gaster assured you.

_“Du-uh.”_

_“Thanks, Gaster,”_ you responded, inwardly rolling your eyes.

Sans was turning to leave. “i should actually get back to my work. paps  might kill someone if i don’t turn up for at least a little bit.”

“Wait!”

He turned to you, your face red. “Wait, what about the favors? You can’t get them back. There’s an expiration date,” you said, a little playfully and nervously.

_No,_ you didn’t say that just because you wanted Sans to stay a little bit longer.

He looked amused, his hands still in his pockets. “expiration date, huh?”

“Yes. They’re useless after today.” You crossed your arms.

Sans smirked. “yeah? well, let’s see.” He held up three fingers. “first favor. you hanging around me all the time.” He put one finger down. “second favor. cute girl asks me on a date. i think that’s fair pay, yeah?” He ticked another finger off. The heat in your cheeks increased. This was much more flirty than you bargained for. “third favor. hm. guess we haven’t got that one yet, huh?”

The hammering in your chest had just started to die down, but now it was back. Full force. Times two hundred.

You tried to answer him, but all that came out was a rather lame “Uh...”

Words were failing you.

Mentally, you condemned Sans for cheating. He’d probably had practice with this situation. But also, he seemed surprised, so maybe he didn’t? You were confused?

Hell if you knew. Hell if you cared right now.

Sans walked back to you, grabbing your hand. You felt like if your heart pumped any more blood, you’d explode.

He made you lean a little so he had a better angle to hold you, and you wondered how your birthdays went from nonexistent to _this._ Sans brushed some hair from your eyes, and then pressed his teeth gently to your cheek. It didn’t feel like just bones against your cheek. It felt more like a pleasantly warm liquidy fire. There was a soft crackling feeling against your cheek.

Butterflies built up in your chest, and you smiled a bit, trying and failing to conceal your elation.

He pulled away.

Sans was still holding you. “consider us even,” he said quietly.

Sans’s face was still blue, and he seemed equally pleased about his antic as you had been, though he was handling himself much better.

“seeya then, birthday girl,” he said.

“See you then,” you managed to say.

You blinked, and when you opened your eyes again, he was gone.

You made sure he was actually gone and hadn’t played a prank on you, before holding your red cheek with your hand. A big, dumb grin kept spreading on your face, accompanied with the occasional giddy laugh.

An overwhelming urge suddenly came onto you to tell Undyne about what had happened. Reaching into your pocket for your phone, you realized your left it at home.

Damn. Now you had to walk back to the house to tell her.

Well, you were going to have to go home at some point anyways. You danced back to your house, mimicking the movements (though in a much smaller way) as the toy figure from earlier. You felt the unfamiliar emotion of happiness in a new way.

Some hope crept into your soul.

 

 

 

 

HP: 12/12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, comments, kudos, criticism, and thoughts are all welcome! Thank you guys so much for getting this fanfic this far!  
> Until next time.


	26. Birthday, Birthday, and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guys so much for reading! If you guys have anything to tell me, comment below. I love to hear your thoughts and opinions and predictions and ALL that stuff. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

You bounced to your house, still feeling elated.

As the house came into view, you hummed to yourself, whipping out your keys.

“WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!” Undyne’s dummy shrieked at you.

Usually this would make you grumpy the rest of the day, especially since you had been spared his presence for quite a while. “I’m not laughing, I’m humming,” you told it, inserting the key into the lock.

“WHY ARE YOU HUMMING?”

“Because it’s fun. You should try it sometime,” you said lightly, entering the house and closing the door before the dummy could retort.

He kept yelling at you, but his voice barely leaked through the walls now. To your mild surprised, Undyne was at the stove.

“Hey,” she said, waving to you without turning around.

Whatever, this made the ordeal easier. “You’re not gonna believe what happened,” you told her, walking over to retell the entire story.

“You’re right, I’m not.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Whaddya mean?”

“I mean…” Undyne whirled around, holding a slightly singed pan with two cupcakes coated in messy icing. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T TELL ME IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!”

You laughed at her. “I didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Sans was the one who reminded me,” you explained. “How’d you even find out?”

“Frisk texted me,” Undyne informed, setting the cupcakes onto the table roughly. “SO SINCE THEY’RE AT SCHOOL AND WAITING IS FOR LOSERS, WE’RE HAVING A LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTY RIGHT NOW! JUST US TWO!”

Scoffing, you said, “Sounds great. Did you poison those?”

“Only with lots of sugar. And maybe taste. No promises that this is anything good,” she responded, frowning slightly.

“If past experiences are anything to go by, they won’t be. But that’s okay. They were made with good intentions,” you quipped, grabbing one of the cupcakes and eating it.

Surprisingly, they tasted decent. Extremely sweet, though.

Undyne shoveled the entire cupcake into her mouth, crumbs coming down her chin in an unappealing way. The laughter you were stifling threatened to explode out of you when she went to wipe her mouth and instead made a long, white streak of frosting on her chin.

Making an irritated face, Undyne wiped the rest of her frosting off.

“Anyways, there’s something I want to tell you. That you would not let me tell you.”

“Whaaat? Sans gave you a birthday present?” She gestured to the box resting on the table.

You grinned, and you felt your face flush slightly. “Sorta. I have a date.”

Undyne gaped at you. Then her eyes narrowed. She opened her mouth to speak, then shut it. Then opened it. Then shut it. And finally, words came out. “ _ Sans asked you out? AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME IMMEDIATELY?! _ ”

“To be fair, I tried. And actually, I asked him,” you told her giddily, using your napkin to wipe your mouth.

She stared. “I TOLD YOU THAT YOU LIKED HIM AND  _ YOU _ DIDN’T BELIEVE ME FOR THE  _ LONGEST _ TIME! I. TOLD. YOU. I TOLD YOU! NGAAAAAAAAAAH!! WHAT ARE YOU NERDS GONNA DO?”

She was smiling widely at you, clearly excited for you. You felt very pleased, your heart swelling. “We’re going ice skating,” you informed her. “I’m gonna fall flat on my ass but that’s a-okay.”

Undyne went on a long rant about how she knew you two liked each other the WHOLE TIME and how you should’ve LISTENED TO HER SOONER and that she was so happy for you but YOU SURE TOOK YOUR TIME and then closed up with a YOU GOTTA TELL ALPHYS, TOO!

“Alphys knew? I don’t remember talking about him to her,” you said, confused. A stupid grin was still donned on your face.

“Oh, psh. You two are the most obvious people on the entire planet. You’re always blushing, he’s always blushing, he spends a lotta time on you that he doesn’t spend on anyone but Papyrus, you’re always talking about him and overall smiley when you two have hung out, I mean, c’mon. I think everyone and their mother knows you two like each other.”

“Mettaton doesn’t know,” you said.

Undyne laughed at you. “Sure he doesn’t. He’s probably gonna televise your entire date.”

“No, no way,” you said. “He can’t know. Neither one of us talk to him, really.”

“Like I said, you’re both obvious as hell. I bet Sans talks to Pap about you aaaaallllll the time. And if I know anything ‘bout Papyrus, it’s that he’s a blabbermouth. Especially to people he likes. Mettaton definitely knows.”

“No,” you repeated defiantly. “I don’t think he does.”

“Well, when he does broadcast your date (like I know he will), I’m gonna have a lotta laughs watching you ‘fall flat on your ass.’”

“You’re a great friend.”

“The best. NOW CALL ALPHYS!”

“Ughhh. She’ll be over later today for my shot, I’ll tell her then. I only told you because you’re my best friend,” you moped.

“I know, you dork,” she exclaimed, give you a harsh noodie that left your bun completely dismantled. “Can you believe we’ve only known each other for a few months?”

“I can’t believe I was on the surface a few months ago,” you told her. “Things are so different now.” You thought back to your parents. If you had still been on the surface, they would’ve sold you by now. Whether into slavery or some sort of sex trade, you didn’t know, but you were glad you didn’t. An anger started to arise as you thought about them and all the things they had done, as well as a sadness. You wished it had been different.

Your friend seemed to notice the change in your mood, and brightly slapped you on the back, leaving you in mild (*cough cough* _ intense _ *cough cough*) pain.

“I know it used to be rough. BUT LOOK AT HOW EVERYTHING’S IMPROVED!” Looking back at her, Undyne gave you her signature, toothy grin. “YOU’VE GOT A DATE WITH OUR FAVORITE SKELLY! And you know, me. And all of us. BUT A DATE WITH A CERTAIN SKELETON!”

Thinking about your date lifted your spirits. “That’s a pretty nice birthday present,” you said, grinning widely again.

“I’LL BET! THAT’S FANFIC MATERIAL!”

You laughed, snorting at her. “Oh, whatever. Like I’d ever be in a fanfic.”

Undyne cackled with you. “Well, anyways, since you so  _ rudely _ didn’t inform me of your birthday, I don’t have a present for you. So I’ll repay you in doing whatever you want.”

“Oh, I dunno. Whatever you wanna do is fine.”

Undyne slammed her fists on the table, making you jump. “NO! WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING! IT’S  _ YOUR _ BIRTHDAY!”

“Damn, calm down, Undies. I dunno, we can just watch a movie or something.”

“Romantic comedy,” Undyne declared.

You scoffed. “You hate those. I hate those. Why are we watching them?”

Undyne swivelled around as she made a beeline to your bedroom, and raised her eyebrows goofily. “Take a guess,” she said jovially.

“Undyne,  _ no, _ we might as well watch something good,” you laughed half-heartedly.

She made a face. “How else am I gonna tease you?”

You decided out of the kindness of your heart, you decided to enlighten her. “Any other way. We are not watching a shitty Adam Sandler movie.”

“So dirty jokes?”

Scrunching up your nose, you pushed past your friend, traversed the distance from the door to the television, and pulled out a shitty Adam Sandler movie.

“C’mon, we’re both adults. You don’t need to act like a teenager and all embarrassed all the time,” Undyne snickered, flopping on the couch.

Taking a seat beside her, you started the movie. “I don’t feel like subjecting myself to your crude jokes, thanks.”

“Aw, what a shame. Since it’s your birthday, you get a pass today. But no promises later.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re a real peach,” you deadpanned.

She smirked at you and punched your arm lighter than usual, turning to the T.V.

The entire movie was stupidly terrible. Not that you were surprised by this, but you still felt like telling Undyne about it. The two of you made fun of the horrible movie the entire duration of it, pointing out not only all the inaccuracies, but also all the shitty plot points.

“They’ve just met-- why are they, like, in love?”

“Okay, back up. Why’s he even THERE? That’s gotta be something that’ll get him fired, right?”

“Why’s the lady getting wasted when her kid is one room away?”

“Why’s he joining her?”

“Someone should call the cops. I’d fuck ‘em up. That’s not good child care.”

“Tell me about it.”

And so on.

When the end screen credits popped up, you guffawed. “I’m so glad that I got to see that piece of garbage.”

“Yeah, we have lots more. I’m guessing humans mainly throw out only the worst movies in existence. We have a few decent ones, though.”

“Well, whatever, I guess. I would say that you guys learned from the shitty movies, but based off Mettaton’s movies… you haven’t.”

“Ughhh. Paps and Alphys dig him so much and I don’t know why. He’s so arrogant and is the biggest diva.”

“Well, he’s super popular, and Pap’s into that. And he and Alphys…. Uh. I’m not sure. You should ask her about that.”

Undyne laughed at you, ejecting the movie and putting it away. She walked back to you, staring at her phone. “Hey, since we don’t have anything going on for the next little bit, you wanna get Alphys over here for your shot?”

“Sounds kinda like you want to be with Alphys,” you teased.

Undyne quickly turned defensive. “NO… Well, a little. Also, you need to tell her about your  _ daaate, _ ” she retaliated.

At this, you turned away from her, grabbed the cushion on the couch, and hurled it at her face. She caught it with an iron fist and chucked it back at you. The pillow nailed you in the chest and almost made you topple backwards. As you sat back up, plucking off some feathers off your sweater, you said, “Yeah, she can come over. I’m guessing Frisk’s going to want to hang out after they get out of school, so sooner’s better than later.”

Nodding, Undyne sent Alphys a text, then ambled back out to the kitchen. “She’ll be here in fifteen,” she called to you through the door.

“Alright,” you called back.

You nestled yourself into the couch, relishing in the soft warmth. As you were doing so, you thought about your date. You wanted to look nice, but you also didn’t want to be cold. Sure, you didn’t get cold super easily, but falling in the snow and ice over and over would make anyone a bit more frozen than usual. But your current attire was what you found the warmest.

Unfortunate.

You could wear that sweater dress. It was cozy and cute. Plus, you had gotten it before purely for  _ a _ date, and though it was with a different person, you hadn’t really gotten to wear it. You wondered if Sans would wear anything different.

A delightful image of Sans skating around in pink, fuzzy slippers and falling over, which made you chuckle to yourself lowly. The grinning skeleton would definitely do something like that.

You sighed, humming to yourself as you considered all the possibilities. Mostly, you avoided thoughts of you terribly humiliating yourself, but the few that popped up didn’t hit you as hard as they usually would. It seemed your mood was for once staying high consistently.

“____! Alph’s here! C’mon!”

You heaved yourself off the couch and out the door, greeting Alphys. “Heya,” you said.

“H-Hey! I’ve got your stuff r-ready to go! Undyne was just saying you had something to tell me?”

You gave Undyne a look, but you turned back to Alphys, rolling up your sleeve (you still hated leaving your scars out in the open like that). “I’ve got a date,” you told her, giving Undyne a sour look.

Alphys squealed. “R-REALLY?” She cupped her face with her claws, holding the syringe loosely.

“And guess who it’s with?!” Undyne hissed excitedly. “Guess. Guess!” You gave her a look.

“S-Sans?” Alphys looked between the two of you so fast that her glasses practically flew right off her snout. Your cheeky grin and Undyne’s smug one confirmed her suspicions, and she squealed louder.

Maybe she wasn’t a lizard. Or a dinosaur.

Perhaps, Alphys was in fact a piglet.

It would explain the uncanny squeals.

On that note, maybe Mew Mew Kissy Cutie turned Undyne from a fish woman to a pig as well.

Sounded like a pretty solid conspiracy to you.

She danced over to you, and you had to tell her, “Please get your jitteriness to a lower level so that the needle does not break off in my skin.”

“S-Sorry,” she said bashfully, holding her face again. From behind her, you saw Undyne smile at Alphys, cocking her head slightly to the side. Your friend admired her quietly as she came up to sit by the two of you. Alphys swiftly prepared your arm for your shot, rubbing it with an alcohol swab, getting all air bubbles out, and carefully inserting it into your arm. “Okay, done! N-Now tell me everything,” she squawked.

As you retold your story, you noticed that at certain intervals within the tale, Undyne would lightly shake Alphys and Alphys would show off her ability to mimic a baby pig.

You also noticed every time you mentioned your birthday, Undyne would give you a pretend bitter look, and Alphys would gape a little. It was clearly much more of a criminal offense to not divulge your birthdate than you had thought.

At the end, Alphys shrieked and hugged you, and began to tell you about her and Undyne’s story of getting together (which you had heard about fifty times) and then likened the two, much to Undyne’s delight. She joined in with Alphys full swing, and the two of them teased you about how it was “about time” and how they “knew it” and blah blah blah.

They would not stop, so you decided you would leave to go pick up Frisk from school with Toriel, to which they teased you even more harshly, to which you left. Undyne taunted you some more as you exited the house, but Alphys began to protest, so she desisted.

The riverperson was feeling especially chatty. Talking about Wednesdays, Fridays, mushrooms, asking whether you were listening to him or not, the entire shabang. You wondered if he was going to ask about ‘the man that speaks in hands.’

He didn’t.

He said something else instead.

“Have you heard about the Anomaly?”

Oh jesus christ. “Yes. Alphys showed me the whole thing.”

He was not going to ruin your day. You eyed him from behind, trying to see if he would respond.

“Tra la la.”

Today was a good day, you decided.

He dropped you off, and you scuttled away before he could tell you anything cryptic.

When Toriel opened the door for you, she let out a delighted shout and hugged you tightly, nuzzling her snout in your hair. “Happy birthday, my child!”

You hugged her back, feeling glorious in her soft, toasty fur. She had a distinct smell of sweets, paper, and flowers. Some spices could be detected, too, when you thought about it. “Thanks, mom,” you told her. “I came over so we could get Frisk together.”

“Wonderful! Shall I show you where the school is? It isn’t far from here. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind, but Papyrus was very insistent that he accompany me.”

“Sounds great,” you told her. Her mentioning Paps reminded you of Sans, and your heart swelled with excitement again.

“You seem particularly happy today, ___. Mind filling me in?” Toriel asked sweetly, locking her door and turning towards you to head to the skelebro house. “Perhaps on a date?”

You looked up at her, bewildered. “Who told you?” you asked. It seemed like this was spreading like a wildfire.

She chuckled. “Who else than Sans?”

You felt your cheeks redden. “He did?”

“He was very excited. I wish you could have seen him. I had just been passing by, and I saw him at his station, talking to Papyrus. He seemed very invested in whatever he was talking about, and Papyrus also seemed to be invested, so I knew it wasn’t about a bad joke. When I asked what was going on, he told me. And then about five minutes later, Papyrus made his request, and then forced Sans to get back to work.”

The picture of Sans talking about something with a lot of heart that wasn’t jokes seemed strange, but you were heavily flattered. Your heart was dancing.

When you got to the house of the skelebros, Papyrus bounded out. You peered over his shoulder, trying to locate Sans. “SO, HUMAN, I HEAR THAT YOU ARE FINALLY GOING ON A DATE WITH MY BROTHER.”

You ceased searching and looked up at Papyrus, smiling sheepishly. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

His smile widened enormously, and he began to yell jovially about how he knew it. Then, Toriel decided to share the information that it was your birthday, and he flipped out.

The reaction Paps had was very similar to the one Undyne had, you found. He was upset you hadn’t told him, and that he didn’t have a present, all the good stuff.

The school was in an area of Snowdin you and Frisk had never gone to together before. You’d never gone there with anyone, in fact. It was a really small school.

It seemed to be about the same size as Toriel’s home in the Ruins had been, if the basement was added to the first story.

When Frisk saw you, they ran towards you, exclaiming, “Happy birthday, sissy! I love you!”

You picked them up in a hug, swinging them around lightly. “I love you, too, sweetheart,” you laughed. Setting them on the ground, Frisk immediately started going on about their day at school, snatching your hand.

“Was it hard?” you asked.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Mom’s stuff really helped. And Papyrus’s stuff about the royal guard helped, too.”

“NYEH.” Papyrus held a definite sense of pride. He adjusted his scarf, grinning widely.

“Well, that’s good!” you encouraged. “I was never very good at school. You’re probably smarter than me already.”

They peered up at you, their choppy bangs falling back. “No way. You’re super smart. I wanna be just like you.”

You smiled at them. “You’ll be a really amazing person. Wanna know how I know?”

“Yeah,” they said, grabbing Toriel’s paw with their free hand.

“Because you’re already a great person,” you told them, ruffling their hair.

Papyrus began to voice his agreement, as did Toriel. “____, I believe you’ve neglected some news to Frisk here,” Toriel said.

“YES! YOU DID! YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT, FRISK!”

“What? What happened?”

You looked at Toriel and Pap a little mournfully, before saying, “I don’t think the entire world needs to know.”

“Well, I do! Tell me! Tell me!”

“Sans and I are going on a date,” you said.

Frisk started bouncing up and down. “I TOLD YOU!”

“That’s a common theme I’m noticing,” you said.

“That’s cuz everyone told you,” Frisk said knowledgeably.

“Not  _ everyone,” _ you argued. “A lot of people. Not everyone.”

“Whatever. Practically everyone.”

“Frisk….”

Frisk kept eagerly informing you about how much they still shipped you and how you needed to have the best date ever and they would come along (if you wanted them to, that is) and they could call Mettaton and--

“Let’s tone it down quite a bit, shall we, my child?” Toriel said, laughing. “I think she can do just fine all by herself.”

Frisk pouted but agreed. When you reached Toriel’s house, Frisk ran inside, dragging you along. Papyrus and Toriel followed, cackling at you as you stumbled behind the very agile Frisk. They brought you to their room (covered in drawings from wall to wall), and yanked one of them off the wall. They bounced back to you, holding a drawing of the two of you. Surrounding you both were all the friends you had made in the underground.

To the left of you stood Frisk. To the left of Frisk stood two people, a small goat with a green and yellow striped sweater, and a little girl wearing the same outfit. Brown eyes.

“Who’s this?” you asked, pointing to the small goat.

_ “My brother,” _ said Chara. You flinched, clutching your heart as you looked at the floating girl.

“That’s my friends,” Frisk said proudly.

“ _ Those _ are your friends, honey,” you said. “I’ve never seen him before.”

“Yes you have, you just don’t know. It’s not important, though, don’t worry, you’ll-- Wait. Have you seen the other one?”

“I think I might’ve a while ago,” you divulged, trying very hard to ignore the swooping Chara as she made faces at you around the room. Gaster was laughing very loudly.

“Oh.” They seemed disappointed. “In real life?” they asked eagerly.

“I don’t think… they look a lot like you,” you said. “Maybe I saw you.”

Frisk pouted, but then they shoved the drawing back at you, smiling. “That’s my birthday card for you,” they said. “I’m still making the present, though.”

A smile creeped across your face. “Aw, sweetie, thank you.” You pulled them in for another hug, kissing their forehead. “This is the best birthday ever.”

“Good! I want it to be the greatest-est-est-est.”

You told them it was the greatest-est-est-est, and went back to Toriel and Papyrus. They handed you a slice of pie with a skeleton drawn in whipped cream on it.

“Papyrus decorated it,” Toriel said, softly smiling. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Yes, I love it,” you told the two, suppressing your snorts. It was a very good recreation of Papyrus’s skull.

“NYEH! I AIMED FOR THE BEST. I WAS GOING TO DO YOUR FACE, BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT AND I FELT LIKE I, TOO, WAS THE BEST.”

You ate heartily, talked for a bit about their days, and then about small, unimportant things with the three of them. Toriel told you about how she was trying her hardest to tolerate Asgore, but that she was still struggling. For her, the war on humans was ludicrous, and the fact that he killed or ordered people to kill seven was infuriating. She was grateful he was not going to kill you and Frisk, however, and was willing to give him part of a chance. Papyrus elected to change the conversation topic to the fact that he was thinking of asking Mettaton out. Toriel encouraged him to, as did Frisk, and you told him, “If it would make you happy, you should go for it.” Papyrus said he was worried because Sans disliked Mettaton quite a bit.

“HE TRIES TO HIDE IT BUT WHENEVER METTATON COMES OVER HE SKEDADDLES AWAY TO WORK. WHICH IS VERY UN-SANS-LIKE.”

You, Frisk, and Toriel all boomed with laughter as he told all the stories he had when Sans left after Mettaton would arrive. (Your personal favorite was the one where Sans was in the middle of eating when Mettaton bursted through the door. First, he snorting spaghetti up his nose in shock, and then he teleported away, leaving the spaghetti right in the middle of the floor.)

It ended up being a few hours of just talking and enjoying time with those you held close to your heart.

You told them you were gonna head back home and get some rest when it occurred to you that it was late.

“G’night, sweetie,” you hummed, pulling Frisk into a cozy hug.

They yawned. “Night,” they murmured.

“Let’s get you off to bed, dear. Goodnight, ____.” Toriel nuzzled your cheek with her nose, then pinched it lightly.

“Goodnight, Mom.”

Papyrus rose from his seat. “SHALL WE HEAD HOME? I CAN DROP YOU OFF AT YOUR HOUSE.”

“Well, we don’t need to go quite that far, but I’d be happy to walk you back to your place, buddy.”

“ARE YOU SURE? IT’S NO PROBLEM FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS.”

You laughed, waving goodbye to Toriel and Frisk one last time before leaving with Papyrus. “Don’t you worry about me, Papyrus. I’ll be fine.”

“LET ME AT LEAST WALK YOU TO THE RIVERMAN. WOMAN. PERSON.”

“Sure, Paps.”

Oddly, Papyrus didn’t say much as the two of you walked to the boat. “Paps, are you tired?”

“NYEH, NEVER. THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEVER WEARS OUT. EXCEPT FOR SOMETIMES.”

“Yeah? Like right now?”

“.... UNIMPORTANT!”

“Aw, Pap, you can be tired. That’s okay!”

“NO! I WILL GET LAZY AND PROCRASTINATE JUST AS SANS DOES IF I GET TIRED!”

“I don’t think you gotta worry about that, bud,” you snorted. “You aren’t lazy in the slightest.”

“IT IS A FAMILY TRAIT.”

“Just because Sans has it?”

Papyrus suddenly started walking a lot slower, looking at the ground with furrowed browbones. “NO…. THERE WAS…. I CAN’T SEEM TO REMEMBER, NOW…” He looked deeply troubled. “PERHAPS I WILL ASK SANS ABOUT IT. OUR MOTHER MIGHT HAVE BEEN QUIET LAZY. I’M UNSURE. I NEVER MET HER.”

You looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

“NO! THAT’S OKAY! WE HAD… SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Sans?”

“NO… SOMEONE ELSE. I DON’T RECALL WHO.”

You thought about Gaster, and your heart twinged a little. “Maybe it was your dad?”

“DAD? I DON’T THINK WE HAVE ONE.”

Gaster’s presence suddenly grew. You could feel the pain he was feeling; a sick, twisting, stabbing hurt in the soul.

The riverperson came into view, and Papyrus sleepily bade you a goodnight, which you returned.

“Tra la la.”

You stared at the water as the boat-dog ran across its surface, fearing the riverperson’s words.

“The anomaly is thought to not be as the prophet described among scientists. Did you know that?”

Fuck. “No, I didn’t. How do you mean?”

“It’s supposed to be a combination of many things, not just the one, single aspect. The anomaly itself is seen to merely be a persuasion one way or another.”

“Oh. That’s neat.”

“Indeed.”

Long, uncomfortable pause.

“Tra la la. Come back soon.”

“Thanks, have a nice evening,” you said quickly, bouncing up and heading back to your house quickly.

You did not like the prophecy about the anomaly. It wasn’t only weird, but it was scary. You could draw connections, even if you pretended like you didn’t.

Field of broken flora? There was only one place that could be referring to, c’mon.

Silver soul? … Yours was more of a concrete gray, but gray souls were supposedly a rarity, and since yours was the only one you knew about…

You wondered if Sans knew that poem. Though you knew if he didn’t, he probably should, deep down, you were too scared to ask.

And maybe you weren’t an anomaly. You hoped not.

Who said you had to be bad?

_ “It’s okay, ____,” Gaster told you quietly. “There’s many of us who could be an anomaly. I’m not the only one who was erased, after all.” _

“Thanks, Gaster,” you said under your breath as you opened the door to your home. To be perfectly honest, that did make you feel much better. Chara materialized next to you as you went inside.

Alphys was gone, and Undyne was sipping some tea. She glanced up from the manga she was reading, and greeted you. “Hey. How was the kid’s day at school?”

“They said it went well. A little hard.”

“Mm. Well, they missed quite a bit of the school year.”

“Yeah. I’m surprised they were able to do the whole thing. They haven’t been in school since kindergarten.”

Undyne looked at you, bewildered. “Since kindergarten? They’re supposed to be in, what, third grade right now, yeah?”

“They’re in third grade right now, yes. Our parents took them out of school after kindergarten.”

“I know you said they were assholes, but why the hell’d they do that? Wouldn’t they get in trouble?”

“No. Our uncle was in charge of the police in our town and kinda gave them a free pass. Plus, he didn’t like us much.”

“What a prick,” Undyne said, squinting her eyes. “That’s gotta be illegal.”

“It is,” you said. “I used to hear my dad talk about it to my mom. He’d go into town to get groceries, then if people asked about us, he’d tell them that I moved out and went to another state. For Frisk, he’d always say they were sent to go live with their grandpa until our living situation improved. We didn’t have practically any money, so they believed him. Plus, my uncle just agreed to everything my dad would say, so that was the end of that.”

“Sounds super corrupt. Are all human officers like that?”

“Nah. My uncle’s just a bad guy.”

Undyne leaned back and sighed. “You know, human souls don’t need love, hope, or compassion to exist.”

“I know. And monster souls do need all that. You’re literally the nicest people on the planet. Humans are gigantic dicks.”

“Not all of you. You and Frisk are good. There’s some asshole monsters. You can love bad things, have compassion for bad things, hope for bad things.”

“I guess. Humans are more prone to being gigantic dicks, though.”

Undyne laughed. “Whatever. You gonna head off to bed?”

You nodded. “Kinda tired. It’s been a while since I’ve had a day this good.”

Sipping her tea, Undyne chuckled, “Lightweight much? Mm, by the way, put my present and Sans’s present on your bedside table.”

“Oh, thanks Undyne. Goodnight.”

“Night. Sweet dreams.”

Sluggishly, you dragged yourself into your bedroom, and flopped onto your bed. You studied the figure Sans had given you again. Looking at it closer, it had small details carved into it. There was a small smile and little bump for a nose. There was also a little soul carved into the chest. You wondered if Sans had made it, or if he had just bought it.

Setting the figure back in its place, you picked up the gift Undyne had aggressively wrapped. There were about four or five layers of wrapping paper, but once you tore them all off, you were met with a picture frame of yourself, Papyrus, Frisk, and Undyne, from one of Pap’s cooking lessons. Papyrus was a fleeing blur (as was Frisk, seeing as they were on his back), and you and Undyne had tomato covered, sooty faces. You were holding a bucket of water in the picture, attempting to douse the flames, and Undyne was turned to the camera with a large, toothy grin and a peace sign.

The picture frame was slightly singed, which made you snort. You set it on your bedside table, placing Frisk’s art on it, and turned over, feeling yourself doze off.

You felt amazing when you fell asleep.

 

When you woke up, on the other hand…

You awoke, panicked, fearing you had slept too late and didn’t have time to get ready. yet somehow, when you check your clock, it was 4:26 a.m.

With the crankiest attitude that could be expected of someone awoken far too soon, you set an alarm for 10 o’clock and tried to go back to sleep.

Alas, your mind was awake and racing with thoughts. Thoughts about your date, thoughts about Sans, thoughts about what you were going to do, thoughts about how you could potentially humiliate yourself, thoughts about Sans embarrassing himself (sure, whatever), thoughts about blah blah blah blah blah.

You only found yourself winding down after Chara irritatedly asked you if you were planning on being quiet anytime soon, and Gaster tiredly requested that you calm down.

The thoughts kept coming of course, but you were able to suppress them for the other two people.  _ “What are you guys gonna do when I go on the date?” _

_ “Something else, probably. We just won’t pay attention.” _

_ “We’ll do what you do when you come to the void, ___. It will be like that, without the screen. Don’t worry yourself.” _ Gaster had an odd tone to his voice. It wasn’t malicious or even negative. In fact, it seemed to be an almost fatherly affectation.

_ “Okay. Thank you.” _

_ “No thanks needed. Try to rest.” _

The thoughts kept coming, but you did fall asleep again. When you woke up, it was to a blaring ringtone that effectively made you want to die. But then, once you remembered the date and jumped out of bed, scurrying to start getting ready.

Oh boy.

You scurried around, pulling out your dress, yanking on some leggings. You snatched your sneakers, pulled them on, and tried to brush your hair as best you could. When your hair became static-y, you panicked and threw it up into a bun like you had the day before. You applied some makeup, too, and  brushed your teeth about ten times after you ate your breakfast.

Undyne just followed you around, jeering at you. “You’re acting like the date’s in two minutes and you haven’t done anything. Calm your ass, punk.”

“I gotta look good,” you informed her, scrubbing at your teeth.

“You didn’t try this hard with Grillbz,” Undyne pointed out.

“This is different. Sans is not Grillby. Sans is Sans and I gotta look good.”

“I think Sans would care less about your appearance than Grillby would, actually.”

“But--”

“Take a chill pill, nerd,” Undyne laughed. “You look great. Take a few deep breaths.”

You obliged, breathing in and out. You were bubbling with anxiety and excitement, and the combination was driving you wild.

“I’m scared,” you told Undyne.

“Why? It’s gonna go great. And if it doesn’t, I’ll snap him in half. All problems solved.”

“Please don’t snap Sans in half,” you laughed weakly, unsure if she was joking. “That would be bad.”

“Only if I get caught,” Undyne sang cheerily.

“You just told me you would do it, therefore condemning yourself.”

“Well, maybe I’ll snap  _ you _ in half, too.” Undyne cracked her knuckles, and made herself look bigger and burlier than she already was.

“Oh jesus christ. I think I should move out. My life is evidently in danger.”

Undyne cackled, slapping you on the back, but much more tenderly than usual. “Don’t you worry, that’s not gonna happen, because things are gonna go great.”

“Thanks, Undies.”

Undyne’s face withered, and she scowled at you. She decided to tell you what nickname she was going to give  _ you _ if you kept calling her Undies, and you laughed, covering your mouth.

“That’s  _ bad,” _ you told her.

“Exactly.”

“Undies.”

She used her nickname against you, but you just laughed harder. Undyne sighed, falling on the piano. “There’s no winning, man.”

“Awh, boo-hoo. I’m gonna pass the time until Sans comes over.”

“Nice. You okay being alone? I was gonna hang out with Asgore.”

“Have fun. I’m just gonna read a book or something.”

“Alright. Later dude. Have fun on your  _ da~te, _ ” Undyne shouted as she left the house. You rolled your eyes, stood up, and grabbed a book (one of the few that wasn’t manga).

As you read, your nerves calmed. The book was long, and you’d already read most of it in high school (annotating it was mind-numbingly boring), but it was still a good book. It was one of the few that you had really enjoyed overall.

You were somewhat lost in your own world as you read the book, getting about 3/4ths in before you heard the doorbell ring.

When the doorbell’s familiar tone came, you discarded the book on the table and went to the door, jittery as hell.

You opened it to see a short, grinning skeleton. He was wearing a different hoodie today. It was very similar to the one he usually wore, except it didn’t have fuzz all around the collar. He was also wearing untied shoes today, opposed to slippers. “heya. you ready to go?”

You smiled at him. “Yeah, I am.”

He offered you his arm, and you took it. Before he teleported, he looked back to you. “you look really good,” he said nonchalantly.

A smile spread across your face again, and you said, “So do you.”

A fluttery feeling was invading your heart, and when Sans goofily bowed, saying, “i try my best,” it grew even stronger.

The feeling of the world changing around you came into play, and you shut your eyes, only to find a snowy landscape when you opened them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After TWENTY-SIX chapters we're finally going to get the fluff I was intending. Though I didn't expect it would take this long for me to get here, I'm glad that I was able to! Have a nice day to everyone reading this!


	27. The Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy y'all, this has been put off for a long time and it's finally here.

“Okay, so, I felt like warning you, I’ve never gone ice skating before, and so the chances of me falling right on my ass are extremely high. Just a forewarning.”

Sans let go of your arm and snorted. “that so? i’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good plan. I’m going to probably bring us both down, so, your ass is also at risk.” You wrinkled your nose and thought about your statement. “Do you even have an ass?”

“the boniest ass ever probably. if i fall i’ll probably break the ice and then we’ll both get hypothermia.”

“All the more reason to be prepared for imminent falling. Maybe you should write your will before we start skating.”

“eh, too much work. what would i give away anyways? my sock collection?”

“Papyrus would relish in cleaning them and neatly folding them in a drawer.”

“you’ve got me there.”

“Mhm.”

“you ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“alrighty.” He stepped on the ice and gracefully began sliding backwards, wiggling his browbones at you. “come and get me,” he taunted.

You wiggled your eyebrows in return, smiling at Sans, and cautiously stepped on the ice, scootching yourself towards him. Sans openly laughed at you, then skated back towards you.

“This is a slippery slope,” you told him, holding onto his shoulder, trying to stay upright.

Sans rolled his eyes, smirking. “well, that’s why i’m here, right?”

“Yes. Absolutely. The one and only reason,” you told him skating forwards with him at a shaky pace. It was so oddly casual, which was completely new to you. You supposed that was because the last time you dated someone, it was the town flirt and was high school. One of your feet went out from under you, and you let out a shriek of surprise, flinging yourself at Sans and clinging on in an instinctual panic.

He held your waist and lifted back to your feet, booming with laughter. “am i doing well at my job?” he teased, steadying you. You tilted your head so you could see him better and made a pouty face to counter his smug one. The pout didn’t last long though, because looking at Sans’s happy face made a smile worm its way onto your face.

You decided to taunt Sans back and keep the playful mood full force. “No, you’re doing terrible. The worst eve-- NO DON’T LET GO-- SANS DON’T, I SWEAR--” Sans laughed even harder, his eyes bright.

Sans drew back to you, steadying your movements by making little adjustments to your pose. “thought i was doing the worst ever,” he mocked as he assisted you. As soon as he deemed his work worthy, he slid backwards again, leaving you protesting.

He did not slide back to you this time. You pursed your lips, still flailing on the ice a bit.

If he wouldn’t come to you, you would shakily come to him. You got within arms reach, slipping a lot. You firmly grabbed his shoulder to fully regain your balance, and stood up once you had. “Well. I may have miscalculated,” you informed him, trying to move forwards again. The movements were jerky and slow, but at least you were going forwards.

You could hear Sans still quietly snorting behind you, but you weren’t about to sacrifice your unsteady groove to give him a look, so you kept going forwards.

Sans came up behind you, grinning cheekily as he lazily and steadily passed you.

“How can you be so graceful at this? I? Thought? You? Didn’t? Move?” You narrowed your eyes, pushing yourself to keep moving.

Sans waggled his fingers at you. “practice makes perfect,” he drawled.

“How much do you practice?” you responded.

Sans opened his arms. “all the time. constantly. i’m the best.”

“Oh? I can tell.” Sans’s grin grew wider and he winked at you, to which you stuck your tongue out at him. You scooted towards him, trying your best to reach him. You were an inch away from him when he skated back further.

“oh, i’m sorry, did you want me to  _ stay  _ there?”

“I’m going to catch up to you eventually, and then I’m going to take you down with me, and you’ll be sorry.”

“harsh.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m  _ snow  _ fun.”

He laughed again, carefully moving away from you as you more steadily advanced towards him. “i think you’re  _ ice  _ enough.”

“Well, I find myself  _ cold _ hearted.”

You slipped but managed to keep your balance as you chased Sans. He circled around you, saying, “i think you’re  _ cool. _ ”

You flailed at him, snickering. You were able to get a handful of his coat and pull yourself towards him. Sans grabbed your arm loosely to help you keep your balance.

He held you like that for a few moments, dragging you along, before saying, “what? have i got you stuck?” You looked at him, and noticed his eyes were glistening with amusement.

“Gimme a moment, you’ve had more experience in the pun industry than I have!”

“hm.” He was still looking at you with that lazy amusement, pulling you along as he skated backwards. “i’ll give you one minute. and then if you fail, i’ll skate away.”

“Harsh,” you told him, grinning.

“the world of business is harsh.”

“No funny business? Or  _ punny _ business?” you asked lightly.

“nice one.”

“Thank you,” you said.

Sans started going faster, and you immediately held onto him firmly. He noticed and deliberately began to skate more erratically to tease you. “This is cruel. Did I fail? No. Yet you’re still trying to  _ zoom  _ away.”

A lethargic smile grew on Sans’s face. “zoooom,” he hummed, closing his eyesockets as he maneuvered backwards. “think i can go with my eyes closed?”

“Not really,” you laughed, pulling yourself closer to him. Despite the casual tone thus far, you didn’t know how you felt about wrapping your arms around Sans. Though that would be the easiest way to avoid falling, that was somewhat risky.

Sans opened his eyesockets lazily, his smile widening. “something wrong?”

“Plppppppt.” You blew a raspberry at Sans, crinkling your nose. Sans reached out and grabbed your free hand, and turned back around so he was side-by-side with you, leading you gently.

“you’re trying to walk. it’s more like shuffling, and pushing yourself forwards.”

You followed Sans’s advice. Each jerky movement was met with a comforting skeleton who would grab you by the waist and pick you back up. After several embarrassing falters, you finally were able to move forwards smoothly (even if it was slowly).

“there ya go. exactly like that.” He went to move his hand away, but you held onto it.

The skeleton looked back to you with an expression of slight surprise, and you realized your subconscious had made yet another blunder, and let go of his hand, secretly berating yourself. Until Sans’s phalanges entwined with your fingers. It was an unsure gesture on his end (the hesitance was clear in the slight jerky movements), but you were relieved and held his hand back.

Again, he turned back to you, grinning slightly more. There was a light sapphire color dusted on his cheekbones.

You returned his smile and slight blush, feeling your heart pump a little faster. A giddy joy flew over you in a small moment.

And then your legs went out from under you, to the shock of the two of you as you both crumpled and fell.

At first, you both just sat there in surprise. Your mouth hung open in shock, and when you turned to Sans, he was slumped over slightly.

Sans began to chuckle, which grew into a hearty laugh. You laughed alongside the man, internally mourning your bruised ass.

***SANS**

It appeared that ____ was having a difficult time getting back on her feet, as I watched her for about four minutes while she scooting around on the ice on her knees.

“are you sure you don’t want help up?” I asked, amused. This was the third time I had to ask, but she had refused each time, convinced she would be able to do it herself.

“I can do it myself and I  _ will _ do it myself,” she responded, her mouth a thin line.

She tried to stand with both her legs at the same time (due to her not wanting her dress to go up, no doubt), and then landed right back where she was before.

“___. as funny as it is seeing you strike accidental dance poses each time you fall, i think some assistance would be beneficial in this scenario.”

“No, trust me. I’ve got this. To a T.”

“mhhhm.”

“I do!” She rose again, this time with her legs a little wider apart, and launched herself upwards.

She was lucky that I was experienced on ice, otherwise she would’ve catapulted herself into a snow pile. I intercepted her, steadying her and leading her away from the looming snow. Her eyebrows furrowed into a concentrated expression of determination, and her beautiful eyes stared down to her shoes, clumsily moving forwards again. “Maybe I was wrong about before. Maybe I need you more than I thought I would need you.” ___ turned to me, wearing a sheepish smile, her eyes crinkled at the corners a bit as her hair rustled around. “Sorry.”

“i’m not complaining,” I said lightly, looking back at her.

She laughed. “Maybe you should be.”

“all these ‘maybe’s. are you trying to give me a hint?”

“Maybe,” she responded, looking back to her feet, clinging to my jacket. Her brows crinkled again, and she bit her bottom lip.

“oh yeah? about what?” I teased.

Without missing a beat, she said, “I’m seeing Maybe behind your back. This has been a ruse.”

“ouch. i thought maybe and i were pals.”

“Maybe you used to be.” A smile formed on the corners of her lips, and she laughed at her own joke.

I let go of her to her surprise, and she flailed at me. “well,  _ maybe _ i should skedattle then.”

“Nonono! Sans! You can only do that to me a few more times before this starts looking sad on my end!” she howled, scrambling for me.

“oh?” I watched her idly. The dress she was wearing looked gorgeous on her, and her slightly messy hair added to the natural beauty she maintained. Her competitive smile as she advanced towards me reminded me of how much I cared for her and wanted her to be safe.

She was close again. “Don’t ‘oh’ me, I’m a damsel in distress and my knight in shining armor is  _ leaving _ me!”

Her erratic waving landed her on my coat again, and this time, she grabbed my hand and tightly held it with hers, shooting me a dirty look.

“i’m more of a knight in an old hoodie,” I decided to indulge, winking at her.

“Whatever. Knight nonetheless. You should consider retiring.”

“oh yeah, i do, all the time. i’m  _ all retired _ right now.” I yawned, and she looked at me quizzically. I decided to explain myself. “already tired? all retired? get it?”

____ shut her eyes in shame, shaking her head slightly. “That was bad. That was not good even for you and I’m personally offended that you thought that was good.”

“dang.”

When I shut my eyes, I felt hers travel to me, and opened mine so I could peer back at her. For half a second, I saw her with a warm smile and a look that resembled someone who had just had the most befuddling thing explained to them. And then she saw that  _ I  _ saw that look of adoration and promptly turned red, looking to her feet again.

I chuckled at her. “still shy?”

“Pfft. Never. I’m not shy in the slightest.” She looked cute whenever she embarrassed herself. Little habits like the one where she would rub her neck or bite her cheek were best observed during moments like this.

It really was the little things that could make your heart (or lack thereof) skip a beat.

“uh huh. you tell yourself that in front of the mirror every night?”

“You betcha. I’ve memorized it,” she quipped, the redness in her cheeks still growing. Her hand wrapped around mine just as it was earlier, but her grip tightened a little bit.

“you’re doing great. i can hardly tell.”

“Thank you. It’s my greatest achievement to date.”

“mhm. that said, you still don’t have to be shy around me.”

Her gaze traveled back to me, her face still red and accompanied with a coy grin. “Well, you’re one to talk.”

I narrowed my eyesockets slightly. “what.”

She clarified, waving her free hand as she spoke. “You get  _ all  _ flustered  _ all  _ the time. It’s sweet. You’ll go all blue and then tell some sort of joke.”

I protested, “i never get flustered.”

“I could prove you wrong right now if you wanted me to,” she said, looking at me with a nervous smile that conflicted with the cocky light her eyes held.

“feel free to enlighten me,” I told her. “we’ve got all the time in the world.”

“Are you sure?”

“what, are you going to pull down my pants or something?”

“NO! You’re the worst. I would never.”

“you’re acting all haughty. i think you’re all talk,” I said.

And then she proved herself not to be all talk and correct about me getting flustered at the same time.   
___ had rested her other hand on my shoulder and then drawn me in close, pressing her lips against my teeth abruptly. I exclaimed a bit in surprise, and she quickly softened the kiss, squeezing my hand gently. Her eyes were shut so serenely yet she was still tense.

I was sure the reason I was so shocked was because 9 times outta 10 I was the one to kiss her, and usually on the second date. Usually the kiss would last just long enough that by the time I got home, the warmth of her lips still lingered.

This timeline proved to have somehow given her more confidence and to take the first step, but not so much that she would give me more than a slightly prolonged peck. Her lips parted from me nearly as quickly as they had come crashing down.

Again her face was awash with shades of red and pink, and a giddy giggle passed her lips and she turned away, releasing my hand from hers. She turned to me for a moment, still smiling. I remembered how often I would get to see her smile in timelines like this one, then smiled myself. She turned back away, softly pulling at her sleeves. I chuckled quietly to myself. And then I remembered that my ‘damsel in distress’ was still moving away.

“hey hey hey, where do you think you’re going?” I inquired as she added some more distance between the two of us. She looked back once more at me with a big grin, though it still seemed nervous.

“In this particular direction,” she said.

“oh no you’re not. come back here,” I told her playfully, skating to her and grabbing her around the waist.

“Hello again,” she said, looking relieved. I could see she was biting her cheek slightly by the indent it was making. Cocking her head to the side a little, her blush faded.

“hello again,” I echoed, and leaned up a bit, pressing my teeth back to her lips and pulling her close to me, wanting to feel that familiar, lingering warmth.

***Y/N**

Your heart was pounding a mile a minute.

The first time you kissed him, it really did just feel like bone, but this time, the feeling that you had felt when he pressed his teeth to your cheek came back. It was slightly different, but still had that warm, light, soft crackling feeling. The feeling wasn’t lips for sure, but it acted like lips. Deepening the kiss seemed to be directly linked to the magic in contact with your lips. Sans’s hand on your waist pulled you closer to him so that the two of your bodies touched. As the two of you melted closer, he cupped your cheek with his skeletal hand (slightly chilly from the cold outside), and you felt your heart swell in a burst of happiness, shutting your eyes and kissing him back, feeling safety in his arms while you also held him with yours.

This was hope, this was determination, this was an amazing feeling that was the cousin to happiness, but much stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, no angst (for once)! I hope you all really liked this chapter; I know it's been long overdue, but it's finally here! As usual, it's great to hear from you guys in the comments and all. I really love seeing thoughts, predictions, criticism, and kudos in my inbox-- it makes my day. Have a nice day everyone, and as usual, have a great day, and thank you all so much for reading this.   
> Til next month!


	28. Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guysss! I'm still honestly so floored by how far this story had gotten, and honestly, even if I've said this before, it's all thanks to you guys. I've gotten so many nice comments that really made this all super worth it. Writing this has improved my skills farther than I think they ever would have gotten before. Really, this is just a huge thanks to you all. I'm so thankful to have been able to go through this journey (and no, this isn't goodbye, I'm honestly just a big ol' sap). Enjoy the chapter (which I had a ridiculously hard time naming for some reason)!

You were leaning on the armrest to the couch, watching the horror movie intently. It was apparently a classic, but Sans and Papyrus were the only ones that currently had a copy since it had only fallen into the Underground a few days after your first date with Sans.

That had been about two weeks ago, now. It felt weird to you, like it should have been longer, because it somehow felt like you’d been dating Sans for a lot longer than that, but you didn’t really care. You were happy with him, _and_ Undyne hadn’t broken him in half.

Another thing you were grateful for was that Mettaton had not televised your date. He actually congratulated you and told you that he was glad Sans was not constantly glaring at him anymore. Papyrus was still waiting up on asking Mettaton out, but he was being clear that he did enjoy Mettaton’s company.

Sans seemed more willing to be around Mettaton the few times he was around him now. A good example to prove it to him was that Mettaton had been invited over to watch the movie.

Undyne and Alphys were resting on the ground, huddled next to each other and eating popcorn.

Napstablook was sitting on the top of the couch next to Mettaton. The pink robot was luxuriously sprawled across Papyrus’s lap, eating grapes.

Sans squished next to you thanks to Mettaton, but you didn’t really care. It took a little shuffling to get comfortable originally, but once you had found a good spot, you were happy.

Your boyfriend was leaning on your shoulder, idly playing with your hair and struggling not to fall asleep.

Alphys let out a loud squeak from a jumpscare, which ended up startling you a bit, flinching hard. Sans made a disgruntled noise from the jerky movement, sitting up slightly. “Sorry,” you whispered to him.

He readjusted himself to lean back into the couch, crossing his arms tiredly. “‘s okay,” he murmured. His eyes hazily watched the screen as the girlfriend in the movie shrieked. Despite him still attempting to watch the movie, his eyes kept drooping and got closer and closer to being fully shut. You hummed, leaning back and snuggling your head onto his shoulder as he had been earlier. It felt so natural to you, like you had done it hundreds of times before. But you hadn’t. A part of you uncomfortably wondered if perhaps, you had done this hundreds of times, but in alternate timelines. You didn’t really want to ask Sans about it because of the likely awkwardness that would ensue.

You whisked away the thoughts for the time-being, kissing Sans’s cheekbone gently.

A soft, lethargic chuckle escaped from Sans, and he wrapped his arm around your waist, shutting his eyes again. Decently comfortable (Sans’s fluffy coat made it much less painful to lean on his bony shoulder), you turned your attention back to the film.

The girl in the movie kept screaming until her untimely (and inevitable) death arrived.

“If she’d gone a _little_ to the left, homegirl would still be alive,” Undyne stated, munching on her popcorn. Then, spewing out some chewed popcorn, she decided to add, “Or maybe if she had any training in battle.”

A derisive snort came to your right. “No, no, no. She was dead from the start, darling,” Mettaton yawned, dramatically placing his hand on his forehead, dropping the grapeless vine on the ground. “If you’re the stereotypical whore in a horror movie, you’re already on the chopping block.”

Since Sans was almost asleep and unable to make his usual witty jokes, you filled in for him, leaning forwards slightly to get a better look at Mettaton. “More like a _whore-or_ movie, right?”

Papyrus sent you a very disappointed glare, and Undyne groaned, but Mettaton seemed unfazed.

Sans was apparently awake enough to vibrate with unheard laughter, and your smugness magnified slightly.

You could see why Sans told puns and knock-knock jokes constantly. The reactions themselves were comedic enough.

“G-guys, _shush,_ he’s still doing his murdery s-stuff,” Alphys stammered.

Mettaton’s sigh was overly dramatic and long, but he quieted up slightly. Napstablook looked a little less mopey than usual as well, sitting up a little more perkily.

The movie was just okay. It didn’t really scare you because of the poor editing and silly CGI, but it had a good plot.

Your boyfriend’s breathing started getting slow and heavy, and eventually descended into small snores as he finally fell asleep.

As Mettaton continued to voice his opinions over the movie, the rest of you got increasingly irritated. Papyrus was the only one who didn’t seem bitter over Mettaton’s yabbering, but that was mainly because he was also notorious for the same crime. Undyne kept tossing her head back towards Mettaton, her face growing more angry each time. Alphys just kind of stuffed her face in the floor, apparently too fearful to repeat her request from earlier.

Napstablook just sighed periodically, looking sad before showing interest in the film again.

You wrinkled your nose slightly, but barely moved your head so that you wouldn’t awaken Sans.

Undyne finally was able to shut Mettaton up by dutifully informing him that if she heard one more word from him, she _would_ remove his voicebox and turn him back into a toaster on wheels.

You were a little sad that she hadn’t pretended to mute him with the TV remote, but Undyne wasn’t one for jokes when she was pissed, so you didn’t do it yourself (though you did intend to if he spoke again. Maybe it would work, who knew).

Sans shifted in his sleep, holding you tightly, and drawing his brows together slightly; occasionally burrowing his skull into you and then withdrawing far away; sometimes he was barely touching you.

Since Sans was very restless, you sat up more on your own, but drew him closer to you so he wouldn’t inadvertently grab Mettaton.

Your attention to the movie wavered. This was only partly due to Sans constantly shifting around in his sleep. The movie was also just growing very predictable, even for someone like you who never saw too many movies.

Instead, you focused more on Sans, rubbing his cheekbones gently and holding him more closely to yourself. After about ten minutes of just absentmindedly snuggling with him, Sans’s hand around you twitched violently, tickling you. You lurched, suppressing the urge to burst out with a blurt of laughter, which shook Sans awake.

However, when Sans woke up, he looked pretty shaken.

You’d found over the course of the two weeks that Sans wasn’t generally a big fan of cuddling in front of other people, which was perfectly understandable. Other people didn’t have to have your relationship shoved in their faces (take a hint, Alphys/Undyne). When you were alone, he was often snugglier.

It wasn’t anything crazy; he was being more cuddly when he was sleeping and constantly nuzzling you. But kisses, big, warm hugs, handholding, and other affections were frequent when you were with just him.

So that’s why at first you though he was just embarrassed that he’d been wrapping himself around you in his sleep. You realized that you were very wrong when his eyes shot up to look at you, with an unmistakable look of fear.

They only lingered in your direction for a moment, before Sans sat himself up and pretended to intently watch the movie. His eyes were unfocused.

Confused, you leaned over and rubbed his shoulder gently. “Are you okay?” you murmured, low enough that he was the only one who could hear you.

His shoulders were almost to his head, but he loosened up a little bit, shakily snatching your free hand with his. “yeah, i’m good,” he said back in the same quiet tone.

You frowned. The lie was evident. You bet even a two year-old would be able to tell. “Sans…”

He shook his head. “not now.”

You squeezed his hand and nodded a little. Later.

He grinned, diverting his attention back to the movie. It still looked forced. You wondered vaguely if cuddling him would make him feel any better, but based on the past, you decided it wouldn’t and settled for just holding his hand. The movie was almost over (at least it seemed like it was, everything was wrapping up).

***SANS**

The nightmare stayed vivid in my mind’s eye.

It was a new, different one. In it, I’d seen my dad at first. He was just standing there, melting like an amalgamate. He didn’t move at all during the dream, and I _couldn’t_ move. I just had to fester there, drowning in my anxiety and terror at seeing him. He began to grow bigger and bigger, encompassing the entire space around him until he was so gigantic that although we started far apart, he was now inches away from me.

And then, just like that, the dream began to morph. The scenery of the lab around me faded into a void. Everything was black, and empty. Though he was still there, Gaster shrunk immediately back to his old size, looking sad. He was facing away from me this time.

I found that I could move, and so I turned to teleport away, only to be met face-to-face with Chara. I shouted and fell, paralyzed for a moment from pure shock.

The kid just stared at me, giggling. Her eyes were a ruddy color and were opened incredibly wide. The giggles kept coming and coming as she began to wave a bloody, dusty blade around, gripping ___’s arm.

It was at that point in the dream when I came to the horrifying realization that I couldn’t teleport or use magic. I could hear Gaster behind me, saying, “ _It’s only another experiment, Sans_ ,” before the dream changed again.

It didn’t change nearly as smoothly. There were lots of glitching sounds and visuals flooding my senses, until I found myself somewhere else.

This time, there was no Chara, there was no Gaster, and there was no black void.

It had just been me and predictably, ____.

Blood was dripping out of the corner of her mouth and she was holding my jacket tightly, crying. She was blaming me for how she was dying, and telling me that I had killed her.

It took so long for her to die in that segment of the dream, even with me trying to help her.

And it was around then that ___ lurched and woke me up.

I concentrated on the TV, trying to take in the dialogue of the characters as best as I could.

I was doing decently, but the aspects to the dream kept distracting me. Especially my dad. Though the dreams where ____ died were horrible and often resulted in me panicking and/or crying, they happened often enough that I could calm myself down pretty well in a few minutes. Dreams about Gaster barely happened, and the fact that both segments of the dream involving him were _new_ definitely shook me up more.

Pushing the thoughts back again, I concentrated on the movie, where the main character was facing off the murderer. I’d seen this part before. _A Nightmare on Elm Street_ was a hard film to forget.

Remembering the dream again, I felt a pang. I squeezed ___’s hand a little, and she reassuringly gripped mine back.

I rubbed my thumb on her hand, grounding myself into reality a little more, watching as the end credits appeared and Undyne angrily lamented about the ending.

“Why can NO horror movies have HAPPY endings?!” she growled, looking like a spoiled toddler.

“That’s not their job,” the annoying calculator answered, standing. “Thank you for inviting me, Papy darling,” he sang, exiting the house with a hearty wave. Napstablook followed him with a solemn farewell.

Alphys and Undyne slowly gathered their things, thanking us (Undyne extremely grumpily). “You coming, nerd?”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you later,” ____ responded.

I felt three judgemental eyes pass over me as she said that, with some snarky giggles. “Seeya later, then,” Undyne said, punching ____’s arm lightly.

Alphys giggled behind her, bidding us all a second farewell, before the two went outside, hand in hand.

Papyrus scanned over the two of us.

“ARE YOU GOING TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER FOR A WHILE?”  
“Yeah,” ____ answered. “That’s okay with you, right?”

“YES, OF COURSE, THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE. I’M JUST GOING TO HEAD OFF TO BED IS ALL.”

“g’night, pap. want me to read you a bedtime story?”

“NO, THAT’S ALRIGHT, BROTHER. UNDYNE SENT ME AN AUDIOBOOK AND I WANT TO TRY IT OUT.”

“alright. sweet dreams, pap.”

“SWEET DREAMS. GOODNIGHT.”

“Night,” ____ answered, watching my brother as he climbed the staircase and went into his room. As soon as his door closed, ____ turned to me, looking concerned. “What happened?”

I leaned against her, holding her close to me. “had a bad dream.”

She laughed softly, holding me back, kissing my forehead. “Okay, well, I assumed.” The laughter disappeared. “Wanna tell me what it was about?”

I sighed, holding her hands in mine. “uh. well.” I remembered her worry from many timelines ago when I told her about Gaster, her empathy, her comforting warmth… I gently shut my eyes, humming a little. “you wouldn’t know who it was about. and it might upset you a little.”

For a moment, she hesitated. After a second, she spoke.“That’s okay.” Her soft hands separated from my bony ones, and she wrapped herself around me in a hug. She was very warm, and her steady breathing served to be very therapeutic. But mainly she was warm and soft. Gently, she rubbed my back, and murmured, “That doesn’t matter. I’ll listen anyways.”

I wondered about how I would say anything. “well. one was about, uh, this guy i used to know.” I avoided the word “Dad” purposefully. “and then there was one with him and you and chara.” I felt her body tense again a little, before she relaxed again.

“Ah,” she said quietly.

“you want me to stop?”

“No, keep going, if you think it’ll help. I care about you, I don't want you to be upset.”

“are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me, _you're_ the one who just had a nightmare.”

The shake in her voice told me otherwise, which led me to respond, “actually, it’s okay. ‘m feeling better now.”

“Sans…”

“really. don’t worry about it; it was just a dumb nightmare.”

She breathed out slowly, then sat back up. “You’d tell me if it was important, right?” Concern was still evident in her eyes.

“yeah,” I responded. It wasn’t _that_ important, honestly. I’d had plenty of nightmares; this was just a new one.

“Sans, you’re still trembling. Are you _sure_ you don’t wanna keep going?”

I hadn’t noticed, but when I looked down I found that I was indeed shaking. “yeah, don’t stress over it. i’m a strong skeleton.”

A weak smile spread. “Drink your milk everyday?”

“oh yeah. what? you haven’t noticed the sturdiness of them?”

“Well, I’ve noticed they’re bones,” she snickered, her mood brightening a bit. I laughed back, quietly so that I wouldn’t disturb Paps. “So in that aspect…”

“i’m so offended. i go through all this work, and you don’t even acknowledge it?”

“How could I ever make it up to you?” she said, leaning forwards a little.

I smiled back sleepily. “too late. feelings hurt,” I told her.

“Drama queen.” She rolled her eyes and kissed me delicately.

I wasn’t stopped shaking almost entirely. The dream’s initial effect on me had worn, and I was reminded of where I was.

Not with Gaster, he was gone forever.

Not with Chara, she was locked in a lab and currently being studied.

Not with a dying ___, she was right here with me.

I kissed her back a little, then pulled away.

“Better?”

“no. feelings still hurt.”

She let out an exasperated sigh, giving me another small peck. “Then you’re just gonna have to deal with that.” Her eyes glimmered and a smile had worked its way back onto her face.

I didn’t really have a response, so I just grinned back at her, kissing her again, bringing her closer to me so I’d have a better angle.

***Y/N**

You wondered if Sans dreamt of you killing him. The Chara part and the you part and the nightmare part all pointed to that, but the man? The only guy you could think it applied to would be Gaster, but you didn’t understand how he would’ve fit into the rest of the dream.

It could have just been a nightmare, and nothing more. That wasn’t something alien to you. And besides, he seemed he was feeling much better already.

He kissed you again. The familiar feeling of his magic lingered a little longer than usual when Sans moved away.

He sighed, leaning on you again. “i guess i should go to bed,” he said as he yawned.

“Trying to get rid of me?” you teased, hugging him lightly.

“damn, you caught me,” he said sarcastically. His eyes were already starting to close.

“I’ve gotcha. Goodnight, Sans,” you told him, standing up.

He stood up too, with a last, “night,” before heading off to bed.

You left the house, going over to the riverperson and barely talking to him as he dropped you off by your house.

You walked in to see Undyne at the kitchen, drinking some tea. “Back so soon, punk?”

“Totally.”

She laughed. “I’m guessing you’re still gonna go on a walk again?”

You considered it. “Yeah, I think I will.” The bedroom door opened, and you saw Alphys standing in the doorway, who smiled at you.

“H-hey,” she said. Then she turned back to Undyne. “You coming?”

“Be right there,” Undyne reassured her. Alphys grinned and shut the door again. “Since I figured you’d be gone a bit, we thought we’d have a little anime marathon.”

“Fair,” you told her. “I’ll turn off the TV when I get back.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, ___.”

“Sweet dreams, Undies.”

As you turned to leave, you heard her grumble, “Stupid fuckin’ nickname…” which made you laugh a little.

 

You walked and walked, biding your time until you reached the waterfall. You stepped through it and began to climb up the little opening hidden in the little cave behind it.

For the past week, the urge to go to the field had been unnaturally strong. You didn’t know why; you’d been so happy. This was by far the highest point of your life. Sure, the darkness still loomed over you often, and sure, when you were alone, the thoughts would come, but still, you weren’t nearly as sad.

You didn’t think it had to do with the fact that your nightmares had returned. The dreams about your parents terrified you, but they had been so tame. The worst they had been was when your father almost broke your arm and when your mother would slap your particularly swiftly. The dreams about the genocide timeline had been mainly undecipherable words and images so blurred that you couldn’t tell where you were ever.

Gaster and Chara had also seemed to have brightened up considerably. Chara’s sarcasm had decreased drastically and she seemed to be more playful with Gaster, and Gaster had been laughing more and comforting you during those times when you felt terrible.

Neither of them really liked it when you would go to the flowers, but they agreed not to say anything and would let that time be your alone time (living with people inside your head could sometimes be a little grating).

 

Despite every terrible thing you knew had happened there, you still found yourself content to sit under the tree and lay in the middle of the sea of gray flowers.

You wandered around, dipping your toes in the river, climbing up the tree and listening hard to see if the leaves echoed words (so far, you had only found one, and it did it in an odd, warbling way), treading through the gray and red flowers to talk to the few blue ones left.

It no longer scared you in any way besides that odd draw to it. How many people might have died there? How many times did _you_ die there?

You paid the questions and worries little mind as you wandered around, taking in the beauty of the deadly place.

 

*

*

*

?

*

*

 

He watched as the human girl pranced around the flora of the environment from a spot where he was well hidden.

She thought that she could fool him, that she could fool him into thinking she hadn’t corrupted his best friend. He knew better. So much better.

After all, the real Chara was in the lab. He'd seen her there with his own two eyes.

And even though he hadn’t found a way to break into the prison she was being kept in yet, the two of them had been talking. They had formed a plan, and now all he had to do was wait, wait for Chara to be freed.

He watched the girl , resisting the urge to skewer her right then and there. He could have if he wanted to. He didn't care. He had dreamed of their plan for so long, and he would make sure that everyone around him who had ever wronged him would be put through a living nightmare.

Whether this plan would be for better or for worse, in the end, it was _he,_ he and Chara who would be the winners.

And that brought him unimaginable, indescribable happiness.

As ____ wandered over near him, Flowey vanished into the earth, stifling his own laughter.

Humans really were idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that angst I spy? In *this* story? Wow. I am. So shocked.  
> Hahaha, just kidding, but I think you guys all knew the bad stuff would come back ;)  
> Don't you worry, it won't be as terrible as usual. Not yet. ;) ;) (what am I, Aaron? the amount of these winky faces are making me rethink my life)  
> Thanks for reading guys!


	29. How are You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLLLLLLLLOO how are all you guys? This is officially the first chapter of the summer (for me, at least) and so I'm hoping to be able to write longer and better chapters with this free time. As usual, I want to thank you guys for reading this and for anything and everything else that you've done for this story. I've started writing another story (it won't be up for a little while, though, I'm planning to publish it after this story is completed, just so I don't get too stressed with deadlines). It won't be the same as this story, but I think it'll still be interesting. Hopefully you guys will read it (it's also Undertale, just fyi). Enjoy the chapter!

“Hi, Grillby,” you said, walking into the bar, holding Frisk’s hand.

“____, Frisk, hello.” He waved at the two of you. “How are you?”

“Good!” Frisk chirped.

“That’s good,” Grillby said.

You grinned a little, seeing Frisk sway back and forth.

“Hey, Grillbz, I was wondering why couldn’t you make it to the movie last night? It was pretty good.”

The bartender set down a glass full of hot sauce and liquor in front of Carly. “I am not a fan of scary movies. I get nightmares.”

“Really?” Frisk asked judgmentally, wrinkling their nose.

Grillby was still facing Carly, so you took the opportunity to scold Frisk in sign language.  _ “Don’t be rude.” _

_ “I wasn’t!” _

Grillby chuckled, finally turning to the both of you. “Unfortunately. Would you like anything to eat or drink?”

“They wanted hot cocoa,” you told Grillby, running your fingers through Frisk’s hair, “but I just wanted to hang out for a bit.”

“Fair. Let me get you that cocoa. I’ll be right back.”

Frisk jogged over and flung themselves on one of the barstools. You rolled your eyes and followed. “How’s school been?”

“Cool! But hard. And a little boring.”

“You told me that before. I should’ve clarified. I meant your  _ grades.” _

“Oh. They’re okay. I have a C in everything right now except social studies, which I’ve got an A in.”

A grin spread across your face. Pride gushed through you, though it was oddly paired with the feeling of something constricting your heart. “That’s great! You’re such a smart kid.”

“Mom wants me to try to get my C’s to B’s.”

“C is still a pretty good grade. I think you’re doing fantastic.”

“I thought C was average.”

The grin wavered for a moment, but Frisk wasn’t looking at you. “That was good for me, at least. You’re still a smarty pants in my book.”

“Thanks,” they said. Their eyes quickly attached to the fire exit as Grillby exited, a mug of steaming cocoa in hand. “OOH! Thank you!” They grabbed their drink and immediately began to slurp down the sugary drink.

“You are welcome. That’s 10 G.”

You handed him the coins. "So, ____, how are you?" With that, you began to chat with your friend.  


The odd feeling wore off in your heart, and you felt calmed. You asked about Fyr and about how she was doing, and then asked if he had been getting more time off recently.

“Yes, I have. Aaron’s been working overtime.”

“He tell you why?”

“Something about how he wants to throw a big party with, and I quote, ‘Lots of babes.’”

“Ew.”

“I got rather uncomfortable and decided not to query him further.”

You snorted. “He’s kinda creepy.”

“He knows not to flirt while he’s on the job at least.”

“Small blessing. He gets in his flirting every other time.”

“Well, I’m not the recipient, so I wouldn’t know,” Grillby laughed.

“Lucky.” You grimaced. “He tries to flirt with Undyne from time to time.”

“I was wondering why he gets so bruised.”

You cackled. “There you go. I’m sure other people contribute as well.”

“Most likely. I think the last girl he dated broke up with him two weeks in.”

“I’d ask why, but…”

“Indeed. Speaking of relationships, how are you and Sans?”

“Oh!” you sat up a little bit straighter. Grillby had been thankfully very happy for you and Sans (he almost appeared relieved, actually). “Really good. We’re supposed to go out to dinner in a few days.”

“Where?”

“MTT Resort. Papyrus managed to convince Mettaton to give us a free reservation.”

There was a sputter of flame and a giant cloud of smoke  _ poofed  _ over Grillby’s head. “ _ Free?” _ He looked utterly floored.

“I know, I was shocked too. Also, I think Sans kinda scares Mettaton, so that probably helped.”

“That’s such a deal,” Grillby said, skipping over the last part of what you said. “Well, have fun. Eat plenty of unhealthy fancy food for me.”

“I’ll save you a really nice salad,” you joked.

“That’s not an unhealthy fancy food,” he responded.

“I know. You told me to eat all the fancy stuff. You can get the icky, icky healthy stuff.”

Grillby shook his head, but before he could respond, Frisk interrupted. “Save me a slice of cake!” they shouted, grabbing your arm and shaking it roughly. You looked down at them and saw a distinct chocolate moustache. “Chocolate cake!  _ Please! _ ”

“Sorry, doof, but if I’m getting chocolate cake, I’m eating it. You can have strawberry.”

“But that’s not as good as chocolate,” they breathed, sinking down. “Sis. Please.  _ PLEASE.” _

“No can do, buckaroo. It’d be all smashed anyways.”

“Plllbbtt.”

“Thanks for the spit,” you told your sibling, wiping spittle from your cheek.

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” they pouted.

“Well, have fun when you go,” Grillby said, collecting Frisk’s empty glass.

“Thanks. Seeya later, Grillby.”

“Goodbye.”

The two of you walked out, travelling into the chilly Snowdin air. Frisk clung onto your arm, saying, “We should go back home and play hide-and-seek or something.”

“Sure,” you said, struggling not to laugh at the rapid appearance of Chara at their words.

_ “I wanna play, too,” _ she said hungrily.

_ “You can choose where I hide.” _

Chara pumped her fists into air, which made you smile.

“What’re you smiling at?”

“I just thought about a funny story. Don’t worry about it.”

“I wanna hear!”

“It’s an adult kind of funny story. You wouldn’t understand it.”

Frisk treated you to a second raspberry, then began to speed off towards their house, you trudging after them, desperately trying to keep up. “Hey, kid!” you laughed. “Wait, wait!”

As Frisk pranced through the snow, laughing and smiling, and your heart swelled with love and care for them. They were so happy. This life--  _ this life _ was the one that would make Frisk safe. You were almost jealous that you hadn’t gotten the same chance they had. Frisk had 9 years, the first few being relatively decent, and you’d had 22. With immense pain in your heart, you wished that you had ran away and never came back sooner. Weren’t kids supposed to be wily, fast, and great hiders? Why hadn’t you been that way? Why were you caught when you were little? Why didn’t you try to run again? Why didn’t you get that same chance?

…

No point in whining now. At the very least, Frisk had that chance you wished you’d gotten.

You repressed your feelings of resentment towards your past and parents, and burst through the door to Toriel’s house, snatching Frisk up and tickling them joyously.

Frisk shrieked and squirmed in your arms, desperately trying to worm away and be free. You set them down, amused. “For that, you’re it first,” they pouted.

“What number you want me to count to?”

“Twwwweenty…..”

“Twenty it is, then,” you said.

You had to admit, hide-and-seek really wasn’t fun for you, but it was entertaining to see Frisk shriek whenever you found them and Chara do the same whenever Frisk found you.

You had thought Frisk only wanted to play three or four rounds, but oh no, they wanted to play all the way until Toriel came back home. Which was three hours after the first round.

That may have contributed to why you told Frisk that you were sure  _ Toriel _ would enjoy to play a few rounds while you took a little break.

_ “I wanted to hide more,” _ Chara pouted.

“I need a break,” you groaned softly. “Who can go that long doing the same thing over and over?”

_ “If you look for the good parts in it, you can do it just fine.” _

_ “Perhaps if you are a child, that works just fine, but to be perfectly honest, I was also getting a little bored.” _

“Mmhmm.”

_ “Maybe you should try to act more like a kid, then,” _ she sulked, slinking around the room. She mournfully looked at Frisk’s hiding place before sitting beside you.

You snorted, smiling a little pitifully. “It’s a little different once you grow up.”

_ “I’m older than you!” _

Toriel neared, so you quit speaking out loud and instead thought,  _ “I guess. It’s not the same. It’s like telling you to act like a toddler. You can’t do it, can you?” _

_ “Hmmph.” _

“AAAAAH!”

“Found you!” Toriel sang, pulling Frisk away and hugging them tightly. “I win!”

“I wanna rematch!” the child protested, wiggling about. You noticed their sweater was new, with green and blue stripes as well as a few thin and zig-zaggy black lines. They looked happy, like a new person.

As you saw them like that, you wondered if you even recognized them anymore.

You noted they were different earlier, but just  _ how _ different...

When they were on the surface, they rarely spoke. Most of that was obviously the fact they were deaf, but they never even used sign language much. They were quiet, reserved, scared, and stoic. They were very thin then too, though it hadn’t really occurred to you until just this moment. They were still skinny, sure, but their clothes no longer hung off them like rags and their cheeks weren’t deeply sunken. When they opened their eyes, the brown gems wouldn’t comically pop out and be paired with dark bags beneath them. Their teeth were whiter, too. And their gums weren’t swollen or bleeding. Speaking of, they weren’t bleeding at all, like a normal kid. Usually Frisk would have some sort of bruising, cuts, or scabs.

Their smile was the most jarring change. It was big and they showed their little teeth and and crinkled their eyes so much they almost closed and showed off dimples that would make anyone’s heart melt.

How much different did  _ you  _ look?

“Thank you very much for babysitting for me, dear.”

“Oh, Mom, it’s no problem, I love this little ruffian.” To prove your point, you ran your fingers through their hair and then messed it up as much as possible.

“Sissy, get offa me-- my  _ hair--” _

You did one final ruffle of their hair before relenting, giving them a hug. “I’ll see you two later, yeah?”

You saw Toriel's face sink a little bit. She'd clearly wanted to spend a bit more time with you. “Of course. Perhaps lunch or dinner tomorrow?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Alright. Would you like a snack before you leave?” Frisk was holding Toriel’s hand tightly, smiling widely.

“No thanks,” you said. For some reason you couldn’t explain, you suddenly felt suffocated. The world was compressing you and you couldn’t breathe and it was hard to think and for no real reason you could think of you wanted to cry and you wanted to punch something.

“Goodbye, then.”

“Seeya, sis.”

“Bye,” you said shortly. You wanted to say “I love you,” but it felt wrong to utter when you felt so... bitter, sad, or whatever this was.

The bad feeling was only amplified as you traveled back home.

You didn’t understand. You didn’t understand. It must have been thinking of how different Frisk was, but why did it hurt you so much to the point that a few silent tears were leaking out of your eyes? Why did it hurt at all? Wasn’t it good they were different? Why were you so upset?

You eyed yourself in the mirror. You looked like a scared woman with puffy, red eyes and like you hadn’t slept for years.

Everything seemed so different for you than for Frisk. Where they looked cheery, you looked exhausted. Where their eyes lit up, yours stayed dull.

You peeled off your shirt and stared at you body. It had been a while since you had really put any thought into how hideous it really was.

There was the scar on your stomach, of course, but it was uglier now. It looked smaller when you were thinner, but since you’d gained weight, it had stretched. Bright as day, it stood out, taking in all the spotlight and attention. It would always be there. It would always stay there, standing out, reminding you of how  _ weak _ you were, just as the scars on your back and the few on Frisk’s back would remind you of how  _ cowardly _ you were.

You felt remorse. Frisk wouldn’t have to stare at their scars the same way you did. Their scars were all because you were too scared to do anything to help.

You were always too scared.

_ “Stop, ___. It is unhealthy to think this way. This was the fault of your parents, not you.” _

_ “I should’ve done more. I wish I’d left when I was a kid. If I’d left when I was a kid, I could be just like them. I could be happy.” _

_ “You’re happier than you’ve ever been, aren’t you?” _ Chara said.

_ “It always comes back. It never lasts.” _

_ “Not when you think like that. Try to think of it differently. The good times always come back, yes?” _

_ “Do they? For someone like me, do they really?” _

_ “If you search for the bad, you will always find it. Life is imperfect and yours has not been easy, but it can always improve.” _

You stared at the scar, pulling back on your shirt.

You were still crying bitterly, feeling jealousy directed to Frisk, feeling sorry for yourself, and feeling hurt because it had all happened.

The thoughts always came back, as if they were constantly lurking around you, toying with you. They wanted to make you sink further and further down.

The loneliness of the house made you feel even more alone.The only person who understood was a little kid who was healing healthily.

Except for Sans, maybe. But he didn’t know that you knew he’d been hurt by Gaster.

Suddenly, you wanted to tell Sans everything, tell him about your parents, about how horrible the surface was, about the gray flowers, about the pain, about the depression. But you couldn’t. It would make all your lies fall apart and then he’d constantly tiptoe around you, and he’d think you were weak.

Maybe… it wouldn’t hurt to  _ call _ him. Gaster and Chara were right; you couldn’t just sulk and fester like this. 

Shakily, you picked up your phone, trying to push the thoughts down again. If they weren’t there, you wouldn’t have to deal with them.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang. You couldn’t call Undyne, she was at work and you didn’t want to be a burden. And it would feel weird to call anyone else. Grillby would wonder why you didn’t stay and talk with him, as would Toriel and Frisk. Alphys would probably get too nervous to help you, and you didn’t know Asgore or Mettaton that well.

You kept anxiously yanking down your sleeves.

“heya. how are you?”

“Hi, Sans,” you said, trying to hide the shaky voice.

“... are you crying?”

Fuck. You didn’t hide it well enough. “Uh. Yeah. I-I just felt… awful, a-all the sudden, and, and, I d-don’t know  _ why…” _ You took a deep breath. “I was wondering…”

“hold on.” You felt nervous suddenly. What if he was busy and you interrupted him? He was at work, and you’d just assumed he’d been doing nothing, as usual, but maybe you were wrong and-- “okay.” You squeaked, turning around to face Sans, who was standing in the doorway to your bedroom. It was harder to talk now, seeing Sans right in front of you. He looked worried.

“I really. I d-don’t know why I’m  _ crying--” _ Liar. “--I’m sorry, were you busy? You can go, it’s fine.”

“are you kidding me? no. i’m not leaving you while you’re hurting.”

A weak chuckle passed your lips as you uneasily sat down on the couch. Sighing, Sans sat next to you, holding you close to him. “Thanks,” you muttered.

He pressed his teeth against your cheek. “when’d you start feeling this way?”

“I was feeling on and off ever since I woke up. I started crying after I finished babysitting Frisk.”

“were they stressing you out, maybe?”

“No. We were mainly just playing hide-and-seek. And then I just. I dunno.” You felt disgusting. Snot was making your voice sound wildly annoying, tears were blurring your vision, your heart still felt clenched, and you also kinda felt like throwing up.

“mmm. okay, we don’t need to focus on the why right now. we can do that later, yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“so right now, let’s just try to stop these tears,” he hummed. “anything in particular that makes you feel better?”

“I dunno,” you cried. Poor Sans, getting dragged into whatever this was with you.

“wanna try a movie?”

“Not really.”

“alright. how about lots of knock-knock jokes?”

“No,” you responded.

“i could always substitute them with puns. i ain’t picky.”

A weak smile split onto your face for a moment before it faded again. “I don’t think that’d help much.”

“damn. how about anti-jokes?”

“What?”

“here, i’ll give you an example. what’s black, white, and red, and spins around really fast?”

You thought about it slowly. Nothing came to your mind, so you tried to make the biggest generalization you could. “Uh, some sort of weird bug?”

“zebra in a blender.”

“Oh my god!” You twisted your head up to meet Sans’s gaze. “That’s awful!”

“you’re smiling, though,” he pointed out, wiping some of your tears away.

“It’s an itty bitty smile of shock,” you protested, wrinkling your nose and trying very hard to frown.

Sans scoffed, shifting his position slightly. “you sound like papyrus.” He looked down at you with a smirk.

“Shut up,” you responded, grinning at him as you hiccuped with tears.

“never,” he declared, pulling you so that the two of you were lying lengthwise on the couch.

“I don’t fit this way.”

“shrink and that won’t be an issue.” He pulled you closer to his chest, massaging your head with one hand while toying with you hair with the other. A feeling of unexplained nostalgia flowed through you, easing itself into the nooks and crannies of your tense body. You sniffed a little, wiping away some more tears and clinging onto Sans. He breathed slowly, but at some random intervals it would rapidly increase before falling back into the same, sleepy sighs, as if he was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open but wasn’t doing well. The blue jacket was soft and toasty against your body, reminding you of a cushy blanket that someone might sink into after a long day outside in the snow. “if you fall asleep, i’m gonna have to ask that you try your best not to drool on my jacket.”

You grinned to yourself, closing your eyes. “I don’t drool in my sleep.”

“uh-huh. that’s a filthy lie.”

“Is not. How would you know?”

“did you forget about the times you’ve fallen asleep on me?”

“Shut up,” you hummed. The tears had finally stopped.

“sounds like someone knows i’m right.”

“Well, that someone…” You tried thinking of a good retort. “Well, they don’t believe you. So there.”

“wow. that was such a good comeback that i just might explode.” You could almost hear Sans rolling his eyes.

“I know.”

“mm.” He ran his phalanges through your hair one last time, before asking, “feeling better?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“it’s no problem. what kind of a guy would i be if i just left you to be miserable?”

“You’re sweet,” you snorted as you sat back up. Sans did not follow your lead, and kept himself snugly encased in the couch. “You comfortable?”

“very, actually. this couch is less lumpy than ours.”

“Oh, trust me, I know.”

Sans grinned widely. “you could have slept on the floor if it bothered you that much.”

“I probably should’ve. Hey, are my eyes still puffy?”

“considering that you just stopped crying about a minute ago, yes.”

“I used to be able to make it look like I hadn’t been crying in like, ten seconds.”

“when?”

“High school. My friend Alex was always impressed. She didn’t cry often, persay, but when she did cry, it was for ten minutes at least.”   
“what kind of stuff would make her that upset?”

“Oh, y’know. High school drama. Boyfriends, rumors, all that stuff. Her mom also had some anger issues. She’d break down and yell a lot.”

“she didn’t hurt alex, right?” Sans’s eyesockets narrowed, and he sat himself up, looking at you more seriously.

“Um. Not that I know of. Her mom wasn’t that kind of person.”

He stretched. “could be anyone. you never know.”

Dark memories of your parents surfaced. Times like when you used to go to the grocery store with them and everyone would say that you were a whiny child, times like the two instances you tried to tell your uncle what was going on and he brushed you off, times like when you’d cower in kindergarten whenever your dad came to pick you up (the teachers got a little suspicious, so after that you had to take the bus). Barely anyone ever noticed, or cared enough to listen to the kid terrified of both her parents. Until they stopped leaving the house almost altogether, your parents were decently well-thought of in the town. “You can tell if you’re looking hard enough,” you said quietly.

“sometimes.” Sans was looking at his slippers, moving the scroungy pink things in circles. “there’s been some instances with monsters, where people never knew.”

You knew who he was referencing, but he didn’t know you knew. “That’s how it always goes. People have preconceived notions sometimes that they don’t want to put aside for the truth.”

“yeah.” Sans stretched, yawning. “i should get back to work. pap informed me that if he walks by and i’m not working, he’s officially burning all my socks.”

“That’d be a tragedy,” you responded, smiling softly. The thoughts of your parents were already returning. “I’ll see you later.”

His jacket rustled as he stood up. “you’ll call me if you’re feeling upset again, right?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“alright. seeya later, sweetheart,” he told you gently. You quirked up an eyebrow. He hadn’t used nicknames yet, besides babe (rarely, though).

“Bye, Sans,” you replied, standing up to kiss him.

He gave you a quick peck, then disappeared.

“I wish I could teleport,” you lamented, thinking about all the uses there could be for such an ability. Mainly you were thinking about how much easier it would be to run away if you could teleport.

_ “Me too,”  _ Chara agreed.  _ “Imagine how many people you could scare.” _

_ “I believe Sans has already given us a decent idea of how many people you could scare,” _ Gaster said.

“Yeah, I’ve been on the receiving end of it many times,” you said.

Chara appeared in front of you, twisting around as she floated around the room.  _ “Pfft. You’re just jumpy.” _

_ “Are you saying you are not? I remember surprising you more than once just by speaking--” _

_ “SHUT UP, GASTER!” _

You smiled, walking to your bed and pulling out a book to try to pretend like there wasn’t a sick, aching feeling in your chest.

 

_ "___, how are you feeling now?" _

"Great, Gaster. Much better."  


Liar, liar.


	30. Crumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys yes I just want to thank you all as usual for reading this and for anything and everything else you do for me! It means a lot. Remember how I mentioned that new story? In the notes at the end of the story, there's going to be a small snippet from it.  
> Have a nice day, guys!

You picked up the ringing phone and put it next to your ear, kicking off your shoes and putting your hair down. “Hi, Grillby.”

“Hello. How was the date?”

“Was really nice. I didn’t save you any unhealthy stuff. Sorry.” 

“How about the healthy salad?”

“Not even that. I totally binged.”

“What a shame. I expected better from you.” He tutted on the other end as you scoffed and went to the bathroom to change and brush your teeth.

“Sorry to disappoint. Listen, Undyne’s sleeping, so I better get off the phone so I don’t wake her up. She gets cranky.”

“Alright. Feel free to visit.”

“Thanks. Night, Grillby.” You hung up the phone, finished changing and brushing you hair and teeth, and walked into the empty bedroom.

Undyne was staying at Alphys’s for the night. You were just tired. You didn’t know why you just said that, in retrospect. It didn’t occur to you. The lie just slid from your tongue like second nature.

You exhaled deeply, sitting on your bed and rubbing your eyes. Tired. Sleepy.

_ “Then go to sleep.” _

“Please be quiet,” you said softly. “Please.”

Chara said nothing else, and Gaster didn’t question you. You just sat on your bed blankly. No. You weren’t tired. Maybe you were restless.

You stood up, put on some sneakers, and headed off. Your clothes were unpleasantly wet and filthy, and you regretted not changing out of your pajamas, but you found that once you reached the meadow, it didn’t matter to you very much at all.

Each step that brought you closer to the gray flowers made your heart twist, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. It wasn’t nearly as peaceful as you had thought it was earlier, and a dark, parasitic air surrounded the flowers. Despite it, you felt like you were at the right place, as if it was your home.

You sat down in the field, then reclined backwards, listening the the flowers weep and hiss and mourn around you. They all sounded similar, as if they had been given a basic script to follow and then a little improvisation was allowed.

_ “I’m sorry, it’s just too hard, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I don’t want to.” _

_ “I wish it was different, but it’s not, and I can’t stay here anymore… Who am I even kidding, though? Haha. It isn’t like you’ll ever hear this, or know that it’s me. Ha _ aah…”

_ “I won’t keep doing this. I’m sorry.” _

You closed your eyes, humming softly. You opened your eyes gently, looking at one of the few blue flowers that was by your head. Pulling it to your ear softly, you listened to it.  _ “Calm down, it’ll be okay,” _ it said. The voice was one of a young woman, and it was soft spoken and breathy. You forgot that the voices of the echo flowers generally were whoever spoke to them. It’d become normal to hear them lament in that voice within your head. Not only that, but it was definitely a change in tone.

You considered talking to it and changing what it said, but you changed your mind, leaving it be. With a sigh, you stood up and wandered through the field, occasionally leaning down and listening to the gray flowers.

As you passed through them, you came across a red flower. You looked at it, considering whether or not you should listen to it. You’d made a point of avoiding them, but the curiosity ate away at your soul. Hesitantly, you crouched down to the flower, and tapped its petals.

_ “Fuck them. All of them. I’ll rip them to pieces.” _

You jolted away. Not only was the voice one that was different from your own, but the malice behind it was massive. The flower glowed red, silent as it was before.

You decided that you would not be listening to one of those flowers again.

With a sigh, you moved on, going to the river. You looked into it, staring at your reflection rippling and sparkling as the water flowed. The face of a young woman wavered. She looked tired and sad and a little scared. Her shoulders were tense and her sleeves were being tugged on subconsciously as her anxiety rose. You felt detached from her. The two of you were only tied together with puppet strings. It was you, your mind, and your soul puppeteering the fragile body, and nothing more.

It felt like you were in high school again when you closed your eyes. You were a frightened teenager constantly trying to repress your presence as you sped-walked through the corridors as eyes passed over you. You purposefully disrupted class and skipped classes the get detention just so you wouldn’t have to go home. Then, one day, you were stuck in a hospital with your stomach stitched together and Alex would bring you schoolwork you were missing. Your father visited twice, and your mother and kid sibling visited eight time for the month you spent in the cramped hellhole full of people trying to tell you why life was  _ so _ worth living, knowing nothing about how different yours was froms theirs. The worst one was the therapist, asking what drove you to attempt to end your life. You knew she had just written off your scars like the rest of the depraved staff as self harm. You wondered if it was your father or your mother that aided to that lie.

Once-- briefly-- you started to tell the elderly woman that you just didn’t want to go home to be whipped again and to be broken into tiny pieces. She listened, then asked if it was your father or mother. You said it was mainly your father, and what did that bitch do? Jack shit. She just scribbled away in her notebook, then, later, you found out she thought you were  _ crazy. _ Not only did she prescribe anti-depressants and anxiety medication (yeah, like that would help. Did they seriously think you had never tried that? Apparently the dumb assholes didn’t understand that meds don’t work for everyone. And poor people couldn’t afford those anyways, was it really that hard to understand?), but she also gave you pills that were to “help stop the hallucinations”. Hallucinations? Of what? Their shit response was, “Your father being a monster.”

No one cared then, no one cared now. And the few that did would never see you the same way again.

_ “Undyne and Toriel and Frisk know a fair amount.” _

Upset for Gaster intruding in on your thoughts, you said aloud, “Frisk only cares because I was the only thing at that fucking house that didn’t beat them. They had the same start to a life as I did, and they still don’t understand. And Undyne and Toriel know barely anything. I had bad parents, they did ‘some’ bad things. Poor me. They don’t know how bad it was.”

_ “Even if that was true, which it’s not, we know everything,” _ Chara interjected.

“No,” you retorted.

_ “Stop being so lost in your self pity and open your eyes. People care about you here. Have you ever left someone because they had someone else fucking beat the fuck out of them? You haven’t and you wouldn’t. You’re assuming the worst of everyone because you met the worst people.” _

A little floored and hurt, you sat down, frowning. Self pity? Didn’t you have a right to at least a little? And you wouldn’t leave, but you weren’t everyone.

You struggled to justify the pain and the agony you felt.

“I don’t want them to know. I don’t want them to understand. I just want it to  _ stop, _ Chara! I can’t keep living a lie but I don’t want to live in the  _ truth! _ The truth is that I fucked up because I got fucked up and I took everyone who knew about it down with me! Why do you think Alex stopped talking to me altogether?! It was before she moved! She was  _ done! _ She couldn’t handle my burdens and bullshit anymore and she couldn’t understand! Everytime I tried to talk to Frisk about it-- even in a teeny way-- they’d panic and get so  _ fucking sad! _ I can’t take them down in a ship that’s always sinking no matter how much it’s repaired! Fucking hell, Chara. I’m not even supposed to be here in the fucking underground. The first timeline I was fucking murdered and that’s how I was supposed to die. I’m only here right now because Frisk fucked around with the timeline and now we’ve been in a loop for years because they can’t fucking save me. Everyone-- EVERYONE-- is stuck in the underground right now because I’m a fucking  _ anomaly!  _ I was lost before this ever happened and over hundreds of timelines, we still end up at this same moment where I can’t go on anymore. I have gone on for twenty-three years and most of them were forced. Most of those I had no choice. Is it really so bad to just say that I just want to stop hurting? Is it so bad to say that I’m  _ sick and tired  _ of always ending up back at this moment? No matter what happens, no matter if it gets better, I’ll always be fucked up. Abuse doesn’t just leave. Those memories and those mistakes when you let it happen to people you care about and yourself no matter what anyone did stick. It will always be there, lurking and festering in the deepest corners of your heart and soul, making you feel sick. I  _ AM _ full of self pity and I  _ KNOW _ it’s bad and that it doesn’t help but I’m just SO FUCKING TIRED, OKAY? TWENTY-THREE YEARS! IT! ISN’T! EASY! IT DOESN’T GET FUCKING FIXED JUST BECAUSE OF A STORY TALE ENDING. IT STAYS, AND IT ALWAYS WILL. I’M TIRED, JUST LIKE YOU WERE!” You took a deep, shaky breath, taking note of the silence of the other two. “If I just fucking left, everyone would be free. That prophecy was probably about me. Okay? And if I went right now, it would be better for the greater amount of people. They’d be free. I’d stop hurting. People wouldn’t have this small poison in their lives. And on top of that, I won’t be able to be taken control of and kill everyone again. I am a danger, a barrier, and miserable. There is an easy solution to all of this. You know I’m right.”

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought about everything. The good and the overwhelming bad. Sans, Frisk, Undyne, Toriel, Grillby… They’d all be hurt. But wouldn’t it be better in the end? You were constantly contributing to lives in prison and to stress from them trying to make you better when you weren’t going to get--

A swelling, nauseous feeling slammed into you, and with a few steps backwards, you fell to your knees, vomiting a red liquid and tiny, gray flowers as Chara and Gaster began pleading with you.

***SANS**

I woke up extremely groggily at five o’clock in the morning from the annoying ring of my phone. As I stretched a little, I strained for the device, finally snatching it and picking it up. “‘ello?” I grumbled.

“Hey, Sans.”

“oh.” With a yawn, I said, “what’s going on?”

“Did ____ spend the night with you?”

“nah, she went back to your place after we went out.” A little worry went through me as I sat up more alertly. “why? what’s going on?”

There was a small moment of silence on the other end. “Well, she’s not here. I mean, I saw that her clothes and shoes and stuff were here, but she isn’t in her bed, and her phone’s still here, so I couldn’t call her.”

“ask al to check the cameras.”

“I did. She said that she started walking towards Snowdin, but she sorta just disappears partway through. I figured maybe you picked her up.”

“no, no. did you-- did you check the place she disappeared in?”

“The area around it, yeah. I can’t find anything. Can you help me look? I’m thinking she probably went exploring again, like the last time she disappeared, but she’s been sorta sulky recently, so I’m worried.”

“yeah, on my way. where are you?” I yanked on my jacket and put on my slippers. Some twinges of fear began spiking within me. What happened? Was that little episode where she started crying not actually a little episode? Did this mean another reset? Why did this happen so often? Had Chara possibly escaped and attacked her?

“By your sentry station,” Undyne said. “Between there and the first few reeds, that’s where the cameras lost sight of her. There’s one right by the waterfall in between, but it’s facing the bridge, so it’s not much help.”

I found myself teleporting to my station, walking up to a worried fish woman. “where’ve you already looked?” I asked, watching her jolt a little in surprise.

With an irritated sigh, she crammed her phone back in her pocket. “It feels like everywhere. I looked all around the fall, your station, inside the reeds. I even climbed down the pit a little until I could see the bottom, but I couldn’t see her there, either. I’m so lost.”

“are we sure she isn’t by the bridge? anything?”

“Positive. Checked there, too. It’s been hours since she disappeared. Like seven.”

“fuck. okay. are you sure that the pit is empty?”

“Yeah, I checked with my phone and everything. Nothing but plants and debris. I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on.”

“right. double check the pit, and i’ll look around here again.”

“Fine. If you find her, or any clues or shit, you better tell me.”

“okay.”

Undyne gripped the jagged rock wall and began her descent, breathing steadily as she moved out of my view. I walked around, calling for ____, checking past the boundaries Undyne had given me, just in case.

Paranoia gnawed at me, and I quickly called Alphys, just to quell my fear. “alph.”

“D-Did you find h-her?”

“not yet. can you check that ooze that came off her soul a while ago? make sure it’s still there?”

“Y-Yeah, I can. Why?”

“i’m worried it might’ve gotten out and got to her or something. you said it was becoming more active.”

“I’ll check. U-Uh… hold on, really quick.”

The silence as Alphys went down the elevator to check the ooze was tense. She was shuffling quickly, and occasionally clearing her throat. I anxiously paced, looking all around. FInally, after a tortuous three minutes, Alphys said, “It’s still h-here.”

I exhaled. “okay. thanks, al.”

“Once you two f-find her, call me, o-okay?”

“yeah.” Alphys hung up, and I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, searching again.

***Y/N**

You had staggered away from the vomit long ago. It must’ve been hours, now. For the moment, Chara and Gaster had placated you, and been able to convince you not to kill yourself because they’d die with you. That wasn’t what they were trying to say, but you realized that they would while they were talking about sharing the same soul as you.

You had cried for a long time after that, holding yourself while you huddled up against a tree.

After you had stopped weeping, you found yourself remembering that you must’ve been gone for a long time, and began climbing back down before anyone noticed you were gone. Exhaustion was finally catching up to you, and you were fully intending to go to sleep for the rest of the day.

As you slid down back to the small area behind the waterfall, you found yourself biting your lip or occasionally fidgeting.

Finally, you found yourself dropping into the room and stumbling out of the waterfall.

You bumped right into Sans, hitting him so hard that you fell backwards on your ass.

He stared at you as you gaped back at him. You found your voice first. “Sans? What are you doing?”

“what am i doing? what? where  _ were  _ you? were you there the whole time?”

“Behind the waterfall? I guess? Why were you even looking for me? It’s barely morning!”

“i wasn’t until undyne said you weren’t at home and disappeared.”

“I’m fine. You guys don’t have to worry about me,” you protested.

“did you hear me calling for you?”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t even know you were here.”

“what were you doing?”

“I was just hanging out there. Don’t worry about it.”

“you’re one of the most important people in my life, i’m gonna worry about you disappearing,” he said. You stared at him, unsure of what to say. He looked tired and you could see the stress in him. Relief washed over him fairly quickly though, and he pulled out his phone. “yeah, i found her. she’s fine.... yeah... okay. i’m telling alph, too.” He turned to you. “undyne’s climbing back up.”

“Wait, what?”

His eyes went dark, and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “she was worried that-uh- she’d find you at the bottom of the pit.”

Oh. A sick, twisting feeling coiled around your heart. You thought you’d been better at hiding it. Did they know you were feeling that way? Did they know what you were thinking about? “That’s crazy. I’m fine, I just wanted to get out of the house. Sorry for scaring you.”

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. “just tell us when you’re gonna disappear for a few hours, ‘kay? we worry about you.”

“I’m sorry,” you repeated quietly.

He gave you a side hug. “no, don’t be. we were just worried. you didn’t do anything wrong, really.”

“Okay,” you murmured.

“hold on real quick, i gotta call alph.” He sank down on the ground, sitting against the wall beside the waterfall. As Sans held his phone to his head, he motioned for you to sit next to him. You did so, anxiously tugging at your sleeves. Sans rubbed your shoulder gently with his free hand as he spoke to Alphys. “we found ____…. no, she’s not hurt. …. i don’t think so. i’ll ask.” Sans leaned to you a little. “alphys wants to know if your soul’s still gray. as an update.”

You were sure it was, but you pulled it out of yourself anyways. A delicate-looking soul with a few hairline cracks floated out in front of you. It was just as gray as it had been before.

Not to say that there was nothing new, though.

HP: 8/8

You hid your soul again, not wanting Sans to notice that bit.

The skeleton gave you a confused glance, but said to Alphys, “it’s still gray… yeah, there’s no color change… ok. bye.” Sans hung up, and stuffed his phone into his jacket pocket. Then he turned to you, still looking concerned… maybe even a little scared?

“I’m okay, Sans,” you insisted.

The disbelief in his eyes was so evident that you immediately started thinking of more excuses to tell him. “please tell me if something’s wrong. or if someone tried to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? What? No one’s tried to hurt me for months.”  _ Not even Mom and Dad have hurt me. _

“have you seen a yellow flower around?”

“Well, there’s a lotta those,” you answered. Clearly, he was referring to Flowey, but you didn’t want to talk about him. You realized that it had been quite a while since you even heard from him, actually.

Sans sighed, rubbing his skull again. “i don’t want you to get hurt. i want to help. i want to be here for you, babe.”

“You are,” you told him. “You help me a lot. And you make it clear that you’re here for me. Don’t worry about me. I’m really okay. I swear.”

He wasn’t convinced. “i really, really care about you.”

“I care about you, too. Don’t rattle your bones,” you laughed, hoping the joke would get him to think you were being serious.

“my bones are always rattled.”

“That can’t be good. You might need a stress ball, boneboy.”

“‘boneboy’?”

“Would you prefer boneman?”

“i think i’d prefer sans. or a nickname similar.”

Good, the worry had lifted from his face. He believed your act. “Sansy-wansy-bear?”

He shut his eye sockets, cringing outwardly. “oh jeez.”

“I’m just kidding,” you told him.

He smiled at you, tiredly. “i know, honeybunnylovey.”

“Oooh no. Ew.”

He chuckled again. You leaned against Sans’s shoulder, thinking about your time in the field of flowers. How long had you lost that HP? How long would it be until someone found out how you felt? You felt the sadness from earlier come back upon you, feeling useless.

A scrabbling sound came at the edge of the ground and you lifted your head to see Undyne pulling herself up. When she caught sight of you, her face stayed stony. “What the hell, dude? You were gone for so long.”

“Sorry,” you said for what must’ve been the hundredth time. “I lost track of time.”

Undyne sighed, aggravated. “Just tell me if you’re gonna do that, punk. Let’s go. Thanks, Sans.”

You stood, as did Sans. “you going home?”

“Well. I have to go to work, so I won’t, but I’m just guessing ____ needs a nap. Based of her appearance.”

“Thanks,” you muttered. You felt apprehensive towards leaving somewhat, since Sans made you feel a little bit better. It wasn’t much, but you didn’t always need that much. Sure, in the long run, it’d all mean nothing and you’d be lost to the same darkness you’d succumbed to many times before, but it was just such a nice break from reality.

_ “Sans is just as much of a reality as the bad things are,” _ Chara said.  _ “Does he matter less than those things to you? Or do you not care about what this would do to him and the others like him when you die?” _

You said nothing, staring off into space. Her anger was evident.

_ “You forget that I’ve  _ seen _ what happens after death. That I saw what it did to the people I loved. They aren’t the same, ____. And they don’t even know that I committed suicide. The only thing they know is that I died. It’s the worst feeling in the world to throw upon someone-- and you’re doing it freely.” _

_ “Chara, be quiet,” _ Gaster said. _ “Do you think this will help matters? This is making things worse. Both of you can talk later, when you have calmed down.” _

_ “That’s not it! She doesn’t understand! She has a  _ choice! _ She had a choice and she’s choosing  _ wrong!  _ I don’t want her to end up like I did! I care about her and all I can see is her pushing herself further and further down!” _

_ “I understand that Chara, but there’s no right and wrong. There is only perspective. And you must be able to look at it from every angle. Both of you must. ____, you must look through it with an honest lense and not lie to yourself about how people would truly feel if you passed. You cannot hide from a truth just because it makes you uncomfortable. Your choices have consequences, and they must be acknowledged. Chara, you must look through ____’s perspective and see what drove her to this wall. You may see what had happened to her, but have you ever thought that how the pain of  _ your _ parents affected you may differ drastically from  _ her? _ We are all individuals, imperfect and extraordinary. We cannot assume that another is just like us because they were thrown into a similar circumstance.” _

You kept quiet, taking in the words of Gaster, carefully considering them, their truth, and their value.

“___! You hear what we said?”

You looked up, slightly surprised, then found yourself turning to the source of the disruption. Your gaze travelled to Undyne. “No, sorry.”

Sans’s eyesockets narrowed again, but this time they looked more suspicious. “i asked if you wanted me to hang out with you for a bit while undyne was at work.”

“Oh.” You blinked. “Okay.”

“is that a yes? you don’t have to.”

“Yes, it’s fine,” you responded.

“Alright. Sans, you can drop her off then. God, I’m really late…” Undyne groaned, rubbing her forehead aggressively. “Okay. I’ll see you later, ___. Don’t you ever do that again.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Undyne ran past the two of you and towards Snowdin, still looking irritated. You followed her with your eyes idly, staring at the spot where she disappeared from your view as if she were still there.

Sans grabbed your shoulder. “hey,” he said.

“Ah, sorry.”

“are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” you answered quickly. You didn’t want to start  _ this _ conversation again.

“you’re being really distracted. when’s the last time you slept?”

“I haven’t slept today yet,” you told him.

***SANS**

She wasn’t telling me the truth, obviously. Either she had always been very good at lying before and was too discombobulated to do so properly, or this was the first time she’d ever lied. The first option seemed more plausible.

____ was avoiding eye contact and answered each thing I said quicker and quicker, and eagerly went to change the subject. On top of that, the clouded look in her eyes had returned, the one that looked so empty and maybe a little scared.

“listen.” She tilted her head up, but yet again, she avoided looking me in the eye. “i can tell something is bothering you. i know it’s something more than nothing or than you just being tired. i also know that you probably aren’t going to tell me what’s wrong right now. just please promise me that you’ll tell me later.”

“Okay.”

“promise me, ____.”

She sighed deeply, then nodded. “I promise, okay? Can we go back to Undyne’s? I’m so tired.”

“yeah, sure. you want me to teleport you there or--”

“Please.”

“okay, okay,” I said softly. Holding out my arm to her, I teleported us to the house’s front door. “do you want me to leave ya alone?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just so tired.”

“don’t be sorry. just tell me when you’re feeling a little better, alright? i’ll see you later.”

“Thank you, Sans. It means a lot.”

“of course.”

She peeked up to look at me, smiled a little bit, giving me a fast hug before entering into her house.

I stared after her for a little while, worried. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t get hurt again, or feel lost.

After a moment, I started walking to Hotland to help clear my thoughts, quickly calling Alphys.

“H-Hello?”

“i’m coming over to observe the ooze.”

“Ah. O-Okay, I’ll g-get things set up.”

“bye.”

I had to make sure that Chara had absolutely nothing to do with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You had always been the ideal trooper. Ever since the shaky peace between monsters and humans had finally broke, your country’s government had crumbled. As a human, you went with your fellow species, as any sane person would. You’d lost a lot of weight since the battles started. Personally, you hadn’t fought in one. Yet.  
> It was your duty to be fit. And so you were. When things had been peaceful, you’d never been in the healthiest shape, persay. Now, your life depended on those abs you used to joke about. Your life depended on the skills you had learned. Firing a gun, blowing shit up, avoiding fire--all the good stuff.  
> You were a quick learner, because it was vital. One of the best in your area. Though you’d never been in war, you were coveted. That’s why you were going straight to the front lines, and straight to one of the top troops. They called your side the “Humans.”  
> Real creative name. Not that the other side was any better. Widely, they were called “Monsters,” though here, they were called “Scum.”  
> That was so the Humans could include the fellow homosapiens that had joined the troops of the Monsters as ‘part’ of the Monsters. They were fucking disgraceful, after all.
> 
> In summary, you were a pretty good shot, clever enough, didn’t ask questions, fit, ate little, drank only as much as you had to, and didn’t complain.  
> The ideal trooper.
> 
> Did you mention you were also a liar?..."


	31. Falling

***SANS**

I had been checking on the ooze every single day.

It had grown bigger over time, and now constantly slid around the room it was being kept in. I was constantly expecting to see Chara’s face within the tar, but it hadn’t happened.

I’d also been checking in with ____ more often. Not to the point of harassment or discomfort, but definitely frequently. I’d think she’d be a bit annoyed, but she actually seemed to be a little pleased, even if a bit tired.

Everytime we’d meet, she’d greet me with a sleepy smile and half-lidded eyes. The bags under her eyes had grown darker by a fair amount, and she looked like she might’ve been eating less, based off how her cheeks were slightly sunken.

When I asked her why she’d been so upset the day she ran off for a while, she’d at first avoided the question, but eventually answered later on, while we were sitting together in the star cave. She said, “I was jealous of Frisk.” I was pretty surprised, but she elaborated slightly, saying, “Just because of a lot of the opportunity they have, being here and all. A really...  _ neat  _ way to grow up.” As she talked about it, she looked up to the crystals and tilted her head a bit, as if contemplating them. “Not like I can go back and change anything about that though.”

“you’d rather have a childhood like theirs, then?”

She smiled to herself and turned to me. “Yeah.” When she said that, I felt a chill run up my spine. Her eyes had that same, emotionless look that she had at the beginning of every timeline.

She hadn’t wanted to talk about it more than that, insisting that it was just wishful thinking and that I didn’t need to worry. “I’ll be okay. Thoughts like that don’t do much.”   
And then she smiled again and looked up at the crystals pensively.

 

“W-What are you thinking about?” Alphys shuffled towards me, trying very hard to balance her clipboard and several books on top of each other. She peeked around her stack to stare at me with her large, bespectactled eyes.

“oh. nothing much, just everything that’s been going on recently.”

“You mean with ___? Undyne says she’s b-been kinda quiet lately.”

“yeah, partially.” I sat up and stopped slouching in the wooden chair placed in front of the jar-like cell that the ooze was encased in. It wormed up to the glass, hitting it over and over, before recoiling and going back to sliding around the room. It did something akin to standing up, but its form resembled some sort of creature more than it did a human. “has it attacked anything else?”

Alphys dumped her pile of book onto a table and snatched her clipboard up and nervously held it tightly against her chest. She readjusted her glasses as she said, “Anything that I-I’ve put in there, it leaves for precisely t-ten minutes and then it mutilates it. I h-haven’t tried it with anything but bugs yet. Whatever this substance i-is, it’s very dangerous. A-Actually, I was able to get a small sample off it--”

“what?” I instantly directed my gaze towards the anxiety-ridden lizard, whose eyes widened with fear.

“I put it back after I w-was done and nothing happened,” she told me defensively, flipping papers covered in a messy scrawl. She yanked out one paper that also had a messy drawing scribbled beside a few descriptions and shakily handed it to me. I took it and looked it over. “I-I tested things like chemical properties and to see if it had any soul traces or what, a-and I found that it’s…  _ weird. _ ”

I stared at the little drawing of the ooze. There wasn’t much, but it was distinctly more red than the rest of the goop that was currently slinking around.

“i can’t read your handwriting that well. what’d you find?”

She stood next to me and pointed at a messy string of letters with her claw, making a small indentation on the paper. “I-It has… parts… of a soul. And though it’s not  _ a-all _ human, its DNA is almost exactly the s-same. I-It made me wonder… all this t-time we’ve been thinking it was s-some kind of  _ parasite, _ b-but what if it’s something that came from  _ ____?” _

I found that the words processed through my skull slowly, twisting their way through my head and drilling themselves within my thoughts as a poison taking over.

“can’t be,” I muttered. “how would that have happened? how would it have separated?”

Alphys shrugged. “I-It was just a thought. If it’s not that, I-I think it might have been… copying off her, maybe, as well as feeding off her. T-There’s no way to be sure without endangering ____’s health, though. We c-could do more tests to make sure. When’s the next time you guys are supposed to hang out?”

“uhh. well, she called me this morning, and we figured saturday night we’d go on a date since it’s been a few days since we last hung out.”

“M-Maybe suggest the idea to her then?”

“yeah, mayb--”

Alphys’s phone began to blare a song loudly, with young women singing a chipper tune in Japanese. Embarrassed, she put down the clipboard and the paper and answered the phone.

“Hey, U-Undyne-- Wait, what’s wrong?!”

***Y/N**

Each dream would always be quite similar to the last, but never the same, just as you had come to suspect most resets were. You wondered frequently about the years of life that just didn’t exist anymore, years of life that now had no impact upon you or most of the others around you.

The first dream, you were in that very situation. There were two of you, and you saw through both of their eyes. One was donned in the very familiar white dress covered in gray flowers, and the other was the odd outfit that was all black and showed off your stomach’s scars.

The one of you clad in white would dance around, though there was a very distinct aura of sadness around her. Sometimes gray, dead flowers with small spines would sprout around her as she moved her arms, and from her perspective, there was a somewhat beautiful quality to the flowers. At points in the dream, as she’d dance through the underground, she’d begin crying, and could recognize none of those that she--or you-- once loved. The black one would not be as open, and though she had the gray flowers in her hair, she had no others. She’d walk through the underground with figures of familiar fear following her as a black ooze, and whenever she cried, the tears would be the same substance. She was not sad, but angry, and if she could not remember someone, she’d cut them off immediately and then have a fit of rage where she’d yell and scream or punch the shit out of walls. Whenever a sludgy figure would grow too near, she’d cower and weep, and hold herself tightly, not saying anything to anyone. In that version of your eyes, the world was darker and color was more lackluster and faded.

The dream ended with the two versions facing each other and gray flowers consuming the black one while black ooze engulfed the white one.

Those two outfits were common themes throughout dreams. In the second dream, at random intervals, you’d be wearing a different outfit, but it was only one perspective. You’d walk through the underground, not knowing anyone and not speaking to them despite their efforts. You could only see the shadows of your mother and father, and glimpses of red eyes following you. If Frisk drew too near, they’d attack you, opening their mouth at least twice the size a normal human’s mouth should, black ooze dripping from their mouth as their eyeless sockets would drill holes into your mind.

The dreams began to devolve back to ones of killing everyone, of being killed, and of being beaten ruthlessly. You were always alone. It was always only you.

Chara and Gaster infiltrated a dream or two and would be able to make the nightmare less painful and horrifying, but they were usually also just part of the background as your worlds crumbled beneath your feet.

Undyne had taken note of the increase of dreams, and purposefully spent more time with you, whenever Sans wasn’t with you. She’d invite Frisk and Toriel over, and sometimes she’d invite Papyrus and Alphys over, and she’d try her best to lift your spirits, desperation in her eyes.

You saw her cry for the first time. The first time you’d seen her ever cry from true emotional turmoil. It was only two tears, but her words stuck with you weeks after it’d happened.  _ “I just want to help, but nothing’s fucking working, and I don’t know what to do.” _

You’d feigned cheer around her more after that.

Frisk acted oddly.

They’d ask you odd questions, like if you felt like you were going somewhere while you were sitting at the table and not moving, or like grabbing your arm tightly while making direct eye contact with you.

“I love you,” they’d emphasize. It was one of the things that’d make you smile and smile genuinely, but they said it much more frequently than ever before. You’d always say it back, and would feel better for maybe an hour. And then you’d find yourself remembering all the problems that came with you.

Being around Sans also made you feel better, but you didn’t say “I love you” to each other. Though you knew you did deep inside, those were big words with big meaning and you didn’t like it when people would just toss them around. One of your biggest turn-offs when you were in high school was when the other person would say “I love you” the first day. It felt fake. That kind of feeling was built up through trust, time, and care, not by one motion.

Or at least, that’s how you felt. You were a little glad Sans hadn’t said it to you yet. It’d just be one more thing.

Alphys installed cameras by the waterfall, and so you had avoided returning to the field. Even though you longed to be by the colorless flowers again and always felt an itch to return to what was like another home, you couldn’t let them know you frequented the area.

Sans asked how you were feeling a lot. You’d answer, but not always honestly and often vaguely before changing course and distracting him somehow.

Any time you’d just lie to Sans, Chara and Gaster would vocalize their disagreement, especially Chara. One time, she appeared before you and started yelling, which made it difficult to focus on Sans.

Now, however, you felt like you’d distanced yourself enough. The only person you’d spoken to in person the past few days was Undyne, and it’d been brief. She’d left for work.

You called everyone, of course.

 

“Frisk?”

“Hi, Sissy. How are you?”

“I’m okay. How did that art project for school go?”

“I got a B. My teacher told me I needed to use a little more color next time.”

“That’s really good. I could see you becoming a really good artist someday.”

“Eh, maybe... “ Their voice suddenly became a little muffled. “I’m talking to ____, Mom. Yeah, she just called.” Their voice grew clear again after a short pause. “Mom wants to talk to you, too.”

“Okay.” It was easier the faster you went.

“Hi, dear! It’s been a little bit. How have you been?”

“Hi, Mom. I’ve been good. I was gonna talk to you after I called Frisk, actually. I just wanted to say hi and tell you guys I love you.”

“I love you too. Do you want to maybe come over for dinner?”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, just let me know. I just wanted to talk. I’ll let you get back to Frisk, now. Bye-bye.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Frisk’s voice came back on the line. “Are you gonna come over for dinner?”

“Potentially. I’m not sure if I’m free yet.”

“Oh, okay. I hope you come over. Mom said she’d gonna make cinnamon-butterscotch pie.”

“Nice. If I don’t come over, you’d better enjoy it.”

“I will, even if you do come over.”

“Sounds good. I’ve gotta go sweetie, but I just want you to know that I love you so much, and I’m really proud of you. You’re the best person I’ve ever met, and probably ever will meet.”

“Thanks, ____. I love you too! You’re the best sister ever.”

For a moment, you considered if you were  _ really _ going to do it, but you knew deep down that it was too late for you to go back. “Bye, Frisk.”

“Bye, Sis!”

You hung up, and looked at your phone, carefully considering who to call next. Your heart was still thudding loudly in your chest after you’d called Frisk, knowing it was the last time you’d talk to them. You decided to wait before calling Sans. You were scared.

Papyrus’s went to voicemail, so you left him a brief message wishing him luck with Mettaton and telling him how cool he was and how great of a friend he was. Alphys went to voicemail as well, and so you left her a similar message, and told her that you thought she was a great scientist. Grillby practically never answered his phone, so he was in the same boat as the other two.

You knew Undyne wouldn’t pick up, seeing how she was at work, training guards.

“Hey, Undyne… I know you’re busy and stuff, so I’m gonna keep this short. Uh. You’re a really great friend. One of the best ones I’ve ever had my whole life. And I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You gave me a home, you gave me some… bravery, I guess. You’ve just helped me through a lot, and I know I’m wearing you down a little right now. I’m sorry about that. I know it’s hard for a lot of reasons. I’ve been more upset recently, I can be hard to deal with, and I’m a human. If you had just been able to kill me when we first met, monsters would be free. Um. So I’m sorry. Um. I love you. Bye.”

Fuck. You felt like you’d been too blatant with your words. You’d have to call Sans quickly, just in case she decided to listen to the message or if she was on a break.

You opened his contact, and nervously hit the “call” button.

Sans had a terrible tendency to pick up the phone the last second possible, and even though you knew that, you still felt your heart sink in your chest when his voicemail started to play.

“hey, what’s up?”

Oh. He picked up. Good. “Hi. Nothing much, I just wanted to talk.”

“sure. anything in particular?”

“No, not really. It’s just been a little bit. How are you?”

“i’m doing pretty good. i’m on a break right now.”

“When  _ aren’t _ you on a break?”

“before and after my breaks.”

“Wow. I never would have guessed.” He snorted on the other line. You asked, “Did you even earn all those breaks?”

“oh yeah. hard workers like me get plenty of breaks, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m sure you earned all of them.”

“sans-decreed breaks are always valid. speaking of breaks, you free friday?”

“Oh, uh… I don’t think so.”

“saturday?”

You hadn’t wanted to make plans, but you knew he’d get a little suspicious if you were super busy. You didn’t have a job, and you’d been spending a lot of time at home alone. “I think that’s good.”

“cool. you wanna come over to my place and watch a movie or something? and eat snacks. which is the most important part.”

“Snacks are always the best part,” you agreed, smiling to yourself a little. “That sounds nice.”

“sweet. anyways, what’s up?”

“Uhh. Nothing, really. Kinda lazing around.”

“that’s what i do all the time.”

“Wow, this comes as a real surprise to me. You mean that all those dirty socks lying around your house were put there by  _ you _ and you were just too lazy to pick them up?”

He snickered. “sorry you had to find out like this. wanted to let you down easy.”

You began laughing, but your laughter died down after a few moments. You’d already committed to this. “Sorry that this was uh, such a short chat. But I need to get going.”

“that’s fine. i’ll see ya on saturday.”

“Bye,” you said. You thought about saying that you loved him, and you thought about it hard, but in the end, you heard him bid you farewell, and you hung up.

You placed the gray flower on the table. You’d only done put it there because Chara was adamant that you would, and because she said,  _ “They deserve to at least know what happened for real.” _

You listened to the flower.  _ “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s too much for me. Please don’t be sad.” _

Short. But it was enough.

 

You left the house.

 

You walked past the angry dummy yelling at you. He’d been there on and off again recently.

 

You kept walking.

 

The dump.

 

You were walking through water.

 

And then, you came to it. 

 

Once, you’d seen a strange, yellow star on the wood planks, but now it was gone. You didn’t care to question it. It didn’t matter-- not anymore. The waterfall was loud and it hurt your ears a little bit, and you could feel an anxious, acidic feeling rise in your stomach and the feeling of vomit curdle in your throat, making it burn. This was a big decision. The biggest one you’d ever make. You knew what it meant, and you knew that you were still somehow scared. You knew that you’d died before, but you didn’t know anything after it. Was there anything? Would you even want there to be anything? Of course, there was only one way to know for sure, and that was to die again.

You walked to the edge, staring down at the water as it cascaded down, down, down until it was just white mist and blackness.

You thought about Frisk, and Undyne, and Sans, and Toriel, and Alphys, and Pap, and Grillby, and even Asgore and Mettaton. You remembered people like Aaron and Carly and Monster Kid. You pictured how they’d react, and you suddenly had inklings of regret, begging you to back out, just as Chara and Gaster were doing. Chara had appeared and was trying her best to stop you, flying into your line of sight and yelling.

You drowned them out as you thought more. You thought about Alex this time. You thought about old high school crushes and boyfriends. You thought about friends that’d you’d had, even for the most brief of times.

But you thought about your parents, too. You thought about the whippings and the beatings and the screams and the ever-present stench of stale beer and sweat and moldy food that the two had made seep into the walls. You thought about how you lost your first tooth (your father had punched you hard in the face and knocked it right out), and you thought about your mother’s betrayal and lies, about how she abandoned you when you needed her and how she’d fling insults and slurs at you as if she were saying “hello”.

You thought about Chara, the one with red eyes. How you’d watched as you cut down people you cared about, as you tore Frisk to pieces, as you stabbed Undyne, as you fought Sans. You thought about the haunting laughter and the eerie smirk of amusement. About how it felt to be powerless. How she drained you, how she made the good times tainted and the bad times saturated with terror, sadness and hatred.

Small glimpses of Frisk hugging you and crying when they had been beaten particularly badly came to mind as well. Memories of them smiling at you, memories of their face the first time they heard snow crunch beneath their feet or the first time they heard your voice or the first time they heard  _ their _ voice. Those eyes, always calm and full of emotion. You’d miss them.

Undyne’s words of encouragement, her determination and her confidence, her weak moments, and your playful battles rose up. You thought about the big, toothy grin and comical facial expressions. You thought about how hard she’d tried.

And  _ Sans. _ The way he was always so calm, but  _ wow _ could he get blue sometimes. The way that he checked up on you and the way that he held you. His laugh. How he loved his brother with all his heart. His stupid puns that shouldn’t make you laugh, but somehow became funnier and funnier the longer you were around him. The way that he was so lazy all the time, and because of it how laidback he was. The snores when he took his naps, or the way he decided to charge about 100000000 times the amount he should’ve for any given item. You thought about how he’d get a little blue whenever you’d laugh at one of his jokes and his smile would get bigger and how he’d tell another. You thought about how he held your hand and how he unconsciously nuzzled you whenever he took a nap next to you. You thought about the concern he put into taking care of people he cared deeply about.

  
  
  
  


And then?

 

And then you turned around, and let yourself fall backwards, going down, down, down…

  
  
  


And stop.

 

Sans’s left eye was glowing blue, and he was just peeking over the edge, holding his arm out. A blue flame encased his hand, and you realized the same blue flame was holding you.

 

He looked so, so scared. It was an undeniable terror that made him look so… small. So powerless.

 

You only met his eyes for a moment though. It was a moment where you realized that you had made a mistake.

 

You wanted him to pull you back up, for him to undo your mistake for you and for him to hug you and help you  _ and why did you do it, why did you do it, why did you do it. _

 

The reason you could only look at him for a moment though, the reason you couldn’t open your mouth to say anything, the reason you saw the fear in his eyes come to tears in the corners of his eyesockets, was because green, thorny vines snaked around your body, and tore you from the magic Sans had used to save you.

 

As you fell, Flowey’s cackle rang through the air.

  
  
  
  
  
  


***SANS**

“Hey, U-Undyne-- Wait, what’s wrong?!”

 

“SHE LEFT A FUCKING DUST FLOWER!”

“W-WHAT?!” Alph fled to check the cameras as Undyne continued to scream.

I stood in shock.

 

When Al found her staring over the edge, I teleported and just barely caught her.

 

She was crying. Her hand was reaching out to me.

  
  


Vines, vines everywhere, creeping around her.

And vines, vines tearing her away.

  
  
  
and i  _ couldn’t do anything. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the darkest chapter i think i've written. i just want to say if any of you guys are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, PLEASE get help. there are people who love and care about you who would never be the same if you were to follow through with something like this. a few years ago, i struggled with depression myself. part of the reason i started writing this story was to remind me of how terrible depression was to deal with. i was much better when i began this story and life started getting better. life has its ups and downs, which means that sometimes you'll have your low points, and other times you'll have your high points. they can both vary in length and time, but things DO get better. things DO change. and part of moving forwards is getting help. thank you guys so much for reading.


	32. I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I know this chapter is a little later in the month than I'd usually post but school started back up and I was having a bit of writer's block. NOT TO WORRY THIS CHAPTER STILL IS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and hopefully I'll put the next one up pretty soon :) Thank you all so much for reading!

Cold, dark, but not empty.

 

And then you were right back were you started.

 

Not at the _very_ beginning. But back in a dream world with fuzzy outlines of your parents and ominous, menacing laughter from Chara.

 

It felt like forever, but it also only felt like a second.

 

You were groggily waking up in your bed after what felt like a terrible dream. You remembered falling and Sans and vines and your parents and a static sound, but not much more. You felt odd.

Undyne wasn’t in the room. You figured she must have had spent the night with Alphys.

Trying to remember what happened, you were startled by Chara apparating in front of you and screaming furiously.

 _“WHAT THE FUCK?!”_ she bellowed. If she were a physical person and not a metaphysical spirit, you were sure spit would have hit you in the face.

“...What?” you asked weakly.

She got closer to you, still seething. She looked scared and livid. _“How could you?”_

You were still confused. “How could I what?”

She scoffed, crossing her arms and turning away from you. _“Of course you don’t remember. You never remember. Take a wild guess, _____. Take a wild guess as to what you did. I’ll give you a hint: you always do it.”_

Staring at her, you got out of your bed and tugged at your shirt. The thoughts of your scars-- especially the big one-- were invading your thoughts. “I don’t-- I don’t--”

 _“You killed yourself,”_ Gaster broke in. _“You jumped into an abyss. Sans almost saved you, but you were pulled back down by that flower.”_

You felt highly uncomfortable, rubbing your arms. You had no idea how to respond to that. “Flowey?” you asked, since that was the only thing you could think of to say.

 _“Yes,”_ Chara said sharply. You remembered what she said about him being her brother. You wondered how that felt. _“It hurts, if that’s what you’re wondering. He knew I was here, too. It wasn’t just you that died again. Gaster and I are here too. And he knew about it. He just… didn’t care. Just like you didn’t.”_ She faded, her figure just being a vague shimmer until it completely disappeared.

“I do care,” you protested after a moment. “It’s just so hard. I’m sure-- If I’d been thinking about that, then I know I would’ve thought differently.” Guilt poked it’s poisonous spines deep into your heart.

 _“Would you have?”_ Chara asked. _“We tried to talk you away from it. You just ignored us. I thought you’d be different. I thought I’d be able to help and that you wouldn’t become like m-- Nevermind. It doesn’t matter now.”_

_“She’s upset. She was clearly not in the right mind, Chara. You and I both saw it. We both contributed by not helping until it was too late. Right now, though, there’s something you should do, ____.”_

You didn’t respond, feeling scared.

_“You need to tell Sans what’s going on with you. And Frisk. They both deserve to know. Because right now, they’re both in the dark, but they both remember.”_

Oh, god. They remembered. And _you_ didn’t even remember. Things had been hard for you, and you’d definitely been putting a lot of thought into ending everything, but you still didn’t remember. You only had the hazy, dreamlike memory.

You knew it was the right thing to do, but it was so terrifying. It’d be easier in some aspects to tell Frisk, because they had been through a lot of the same things, but they were also still just a kid. How could you explain to a nine-year-old why you killed yourself? That’d be something that’d be at least slightly easier to explain to someone who was your own age-- but at the same time, you had no idea what Sans would do. But then again, didn’t you have some sort of obligation to tell them both _something?_

“What would I say?” you asked weakly. “They’d never understand.”

_“How do you know that?”_

“Because no one can, no one had ever before!”

 _“That doesn’t mean no one ever will,”_ Chara responded.

You got quiet again. You thought about it, circling through all the same thoughts you’d had previously about the topic and new ones now.

“Fine. I’ll talk to them.”

 _“Today,”_ Chara said.

A sick feeling curdled in your stomach. “Okay.” You were scared. Terrified. Not ready. Would you ever be ready? You had no idea.

Frisk or Sans first? Frisk or Sans? Frisk or Sans?

Frisk.

Then you at least didn’t have to explain the parents thing.

 

The riverperson was quiet. You hoped they’d stay that way, but you knew they wouldn’t.

“Gray,” they said.

And then they were quiet again.

 

Whatever. You didn’t have the motivation to deal with their cryptic bullshit today. Or any day for that matter.

You got off the boat, you nervously walked to Toriel’s home. The snow crunched beneath your feet, and the winds chilled your nose and cheeks. The way your heart was pounding made the dread inside you feel all that more anxious. You gripped your arms tightly, trying to breathe steadily even though you felt like your insides were being crushed by expectations and disappointments.

You reached the door. Staring at it for a moment, you gnawed on your lip, but you lifted your fist and knocked on the door.

“Just a moment!” Toriel sang.

You heard some clammering and footsteps, and then the creak of the door as your adoptive mother swung open the door. “Oh! ____! What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for Frisk? I need to talk to them.”

“Oh, honey, they feel a bit sick right now. They’re even missing school today. I can ask if they want to see you. Would you mind waiting inside while I check?”

“Not at all,” you said quietly, stepping in and wiping the snow off your shoes on the doormat. You walked over and sat in one of her large, squishy chairs.

“Are you alright? You seem a bit down.”

“I didn’t sleep very well,” you laughed. “Woke up abruptly. You know.”

“Ah… Well, I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”

You smiled at her, and held your head in your hand as she left the room. Your heart was throbbing, and you were sweating profusely, yet somehow, your head was completely fucking empty. There was nothing. Just white noise, static. You couldn’t fathom a single thought, string a single worry, or picture any outcome.

You could hear mumbles from Frisk’s room, and sat up slightly, chewing your lip. There were some padded footsteps, and then Toriel opened the door and smiled softly at you. “They said they could talk for a bit.”

“Aah. Okay. I’ll make it, um, brief. I need to talk to some other people too, I just wanted to talk to Frisk first.”

Toriel looked a little confused, but she nodded slowly and let you walk past her to Frisk’s room. You stepped in, feeling your heart start to sink.

Frisk was peeking at you under multiple blankets with their puffy, red eyes, sniffing. They looked very unwell, but you recognized the expression. You knew what Frisk looked like when they were sick-- after all, it was really only _you_ that took care of them. This wasn’t that. This was what Frisk looked like after they’d been beaten badly or when they caught you cutting when you were a teenager.

You were having a bit of a hard time breathing.

 

Shakily, you sat on Frisk’s bed, looking at your feet. You tried to think about what to say, but you had no idea where to start or how to explain it all.

“Sissy?” they asked tearfully.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. You looked away from them, feeling ashamed. “I’m really, really sorry. I’m sorry that you know me. That you remember what I did. What I’ve done. You want to help me, but I don’t even know if you can.”

They were quiet.

“What happened up there affected me differently than it did you. I was alone for so long, Frisk. I had no one. Even when you came along, I still got most of the pain. You did too, I know that. But you had someone growing up. Even if they were a coward like me, you had something you could rely on. You had someone to take care of you, even if I didn’t do very good most of the time. I felt so alone. I’m still scared. I still think about it every day. And on top of that, the timeline where I killed everyone still sticks in the back of my mind. I’m sorry, Frisk. But that’s why I did it. Because I can’t ever escape from it unless I…” You were crying. You couldn’t finish your sentence.

Frisk was still quietly sniffing, but they weren’t saying anything.

Your heart was still pounding. You felt ashamed for being so weak and for being such a failure. “Just wanted. To tell you why. I’m gonna leave now. I’m sorry.” You stood.

“Don’t be sorry,” a quiet voice said behind you. You turned to look at Frisk. “I don’t want you to feel bad. I want to help make you happy.”

You couldn’t even bring yourself to smile. You just cried, holding your head as you sat back down and Frisk’s small arms wrapped around you in a tight hug. They weren’t crying like you were, but maybe two or three tears fell from their cheeks.

You couldn’t talk to them. You needed to talk to Sans before you got worse.

“I gotta go,” you said hoarsely. “I love you.”

And then you walked out of their room, wiping away your tears and keeping your head down as you hugged Toriel goodbye and walked outside.

She tried to keep you for a bit since she was clearly able to see that you were upset, but you insisted that you were fine and had to talk to someone else, too. It was with great reluctance that she left you go, insisting that you call her later so she could help somehow.

You felt terrified.

Frisk was hard enough, and they didn’t need backstory. Sans, he needed to know about everything from the surface to understand why everything happened. That was something that you’d never done. Bits and pieces, but never everything, and never how badly it actually affected you.

Time was moving at an odd pace. Things seemed to be slow as they were happening, but moments later, things had just gone far too fast and you weren’t ready and you were at the door.

The faster you went, the easier it would be and the less painful it would be. You just wanted to get it out of the way and then disappear forever.

Timidly, you rapped at the door, adrenaline building.

No one answered.

“Sans?” you called, squirming. You looked around you. Maybe you wouldn’t have to tell him if he wasn’t there. Maybe you could forget it happened.

Sans opened the door. He looked even more tired than usual. “hey.”

The more you looked at him, the more guilt that began to swirl around you. You felt like it was your fault. It probably was.

“I need to talk to you,” you said quietly. “Could I come in?”

“...sure,” he said drowsily.

You walked past him and sat on the couch. Though you were able to keep your hands stable, your legs were shaking a lot. Sans drearily walked over to you and sat on the couch.

“I’m gonna talk, but uh, I have to… I have to ask that you don’t say anything until I’m done because otherwise I won’t be able to do it, okay?”

Sans positioned himself slightly more upright. “yeah, sure. what’s up?”

You looked at the wall, playing with your jacket’s zipper. You were wearing a tank top underneath, contemplating how to start.

“I’m sorry. For what I did. Um. J-jumping? You know? I’m sorry.”

The shocked silence and Sans’s gaze were eating away at you. You rubbed your arms.

“Um. I guess. I’m. Supposed to tell you why. Um. Fuck. Okay. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve never been happy. You know. That wasn’t the first time I’ve tried something like that. You know. Well, you do know, I guess? You’ve seen my arms. But there’s more than just those ones.” You breathed deeply, trying to pretend like your voice wasn’t shaking.

You unzipped your jacket, took it off, and moved your hair over your shoulder.

Sans inhaled sharply.

“I didn’t do those ones, but, uhm.” You were crying. “There’s one on my stomach, y’know. From me.”

“how did--”

“That happened to me on the surface,” you told him quietly. “I told you before some things about my parents I guess, but not really the full truth. They hated me. My dad didn’t want kids, but he and my mom fucked up one time when they were both drunk, and then they ended up with me. I was literally-- _hah_ \-- literally a mistake. An accident. When I was really little, mostly they just berated me or told me I…” You choked back a sob. “Told me I was worthless. As I got older though, my dad started drinking more and more and more. I think he started beating me up when I was four.” Your words were coming out in a fast, jumbled mess. “At first, he’d whip me with a belt, but he eventually got an actual whip. No one would help me. Not the sheriff, or my friend, or the teachers, or anyone. Most of them didn’t believe me if I’d say anything, and I knew that the others wouldn’t be any fucking different, y’know? Because why would they be? But anyways. My mom used to say she wouldn’t leave me. A long time ago. She stopped after she got pregnant with Frisk." You laughed dryly, curling up.

You took a deep breath, trying to think clearly through the dread. "Though, she never really was there for me. She just didn’t hit me for a long time. She’d blame me for everything that went wrong in her life. After Frisk was finally born, she pretty much fucking gave up on me and would slap me and stuff. It got worse when I turned sixteen. That’s when I got really close to being able to fucking die. I… Well, you know. It didn’t work. I was stuck in the hospital for months, most of them trying to help with my mental health. It did jack shit. So they just put me back in that hellhole. Didn’t give a fuck. And then I fucked up my only friendship and ended up completely alone. Just had Frisk and that wasn’t much. I didn’t want to talk to a little kid about how extremely fucked up I was, even if they’d fucking understand a little.”

You had to stop talking for a second, sobbing harshly. You’d barely noticed how hard you were crying until you needed to take a breath.

Sans rested his hand on you shoulder, squeezing it gently. “oh, god, sweetheart. i’m so sorry. i’m so fucking sorry. i can’t imagine what that was like for you, growing up like that. i can’t take it back for you, but i wish that i could. no one deserves that, but especially not you or the kid. i want to help you any way i can through this, through any struggles you might have. i’m not the best with words, and i know this is probably a pretty shitty response to everything you just told me, but you mean so much to me. i love you.”

You turned around and hugged him tightly. Your emotions were in the gutter, but your heart felt like a huge weight had been lifted from it. You cried into his hoodie, clinging onto him tightly.

He seemed like he was the first one to ever listen, to ever truly care about everything you told him.

“I love you, too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucked up.”

“don’t care if you’re fucked up. i want to help. i want to be here for you. you’re important. you’re unique. and you shouldn’t have to be sorry for something you had no control over.”

  
  


You cried for a long, long time.

  
  
  
  
  
  


***???**

 

_“Asriel.”_

“Chara. Have you gotten what you needed?”

The black mass was standing behind the door, in the shape of a young girl. Two gleaming red eyes could be seen in the goop. _“Not everything. But she’s weak, now. Weak and alone. After she died, it should’ve gotten rid of that scientist, which was our last barrier. Not that we needed to dispose of him. Just a precaution. Now, all we need is for her to come here, and you and I can erase this world and move onto the next.”_

“That’s a wonderful idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just curious, what do you guys expect to happen next? It's always fun to see what you guys predict. Anyways, hope you guys all have a great day/week/insert-amount-of-time-here. Until next time!


	33. Changing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW hi guys this chapter is a bit shorter than usual i've had kinda a lot of work, but hopefully the next chapter will be a longer one! I have plans for it and OH BOY stuff is gonna happen (some would have originally been in this chapter but I wanted to make sure I published it on time). Enjoy guys!

***SANS**

I hadn’t had any plans of leaving my room for the next several days and was seriously debating whether or not to answer the door when I heard knocking. I actually wasn’t going to until I heard ____’s nervous voice call my name.

There was a lot for me to take in within the few minutes our conversation took place. First of all, the fact that she somehow remembered jumping--for another, the fact that she even brought it up. And then, of course, the sheer amount of scars that covered her entire back. Some were much deeper than others and some were significantly more jagged, and there were the ones that appeared to be much longer than others. That by itself would have all been enough to fuck me up for a good few weeks, but then, she told the story of how her scars got there.

I’d felt angry. A cold, burning rage that trickled from my soul like poison flared as she spoke.

I’d had my dad, but what she described made me almost feel like what happened with Gaster was nothing at all. That had been a few months, and though they were easily some of the worst months of my life, I couldn’t imagine they even compared to over twenty years of nonstop abuse and hate.

While she was crying, I was internally trying to process what to do. I felt like I was utterly lost yet again in this timeline, once again completely blindsided by a completely different side to someone I thought I knew better than almost anyone else.

A few times while crying, she had tried to stammer out words, but it came out as a scrambled mess each time and just made her sob harder. I told her that she didn’t need to say anything more and that if she had more she needed to say she could tell me later, when she was more comfortable, and it at least  _ seemed _ like it helped her calm down some.

I kissed her gently, holding her cheek with my hand. Warm tears flowed onto my fingers. She sniffed and kissed me back a few times, as if she were trying to ground herself back into reality. Her lips were still incredibly soft. She whimpered and let out a dry sob, pulling away from me and tightly gripping my shoulder.

It was scary. A bit of reassurance came from the fact that at least she was away from her parents, but overall, I felt sick. Part of me began to consider if there was more she hadn’t told me. Clearly there was more as in  _ details-- _ but the fact that she had hidden this huge part of her life for so long…

She calmed down down after a while, softly sniffling. She moved away and looked away from me, holding her head with a hand. She wasn’t in a place to talk without bursting into tears again.

I rubbed her back and tried to think about anything I could do to help, but I only drew blanks. 

“Thanks,” she said hoarsely somewhat abruptly.

“i’m here you ya, okay? you can trust me. i want to help you however i can. you just let me know what i can do.”

“Okay,” she replied.

“i’m so sorry that this happened to you. i wish i could’ve helped when that was happening.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said quietly. “I wish anyone would’ve done something.” She went to pull at her sleeves before remembering there weren’t any. She grabbed her jacket and put it back on. I could see that her eyes were watering again.

“hey, come ‘ere,” I said. I wrapped my arms around her and laid back so that she was lying on top of me.

She didn’t start crying again, but she did bury her face into my chest and get extremely quiet once more.

 

Another small bombshell dropped upon me a few seconds after.

She wasn’t dead. She was alive, and though she wasn’t exactly what I’d call well, she was still  _ alive,  _ and for some reason had given me the first explanation as to why she left. After years worth of timelines, she had for some reason bestowed what must’ve been an incredibly high amount of trust in me.

I felt like I could’ve started crying then, but I didn’t.

***Y/N**

You found that you didn’t regret telling the truth as much as you thought you were going to. Deep down somewhere you found a small part of yourself that wished that you didn’t speak, like usual, but you mainly felt light. Not happy, for sure, but as if the world around you was a little less dark. A better way to describe it might have been that dark thoughts and memories still loomed over your head, but now there was an extra support to stop them from crushing you.

Thoughts were silently twisting around within your skull as you tried your best to imagine what came next. After you felt like you weren’t going to explode if you said anything more, would you just leave and go back to how things were? Would you feel pressured to tell more people the full truth? Would things get better and then crash and burn or would they pick up again? It was a chilling feeling. Usually, you felt like you had a decent grasp on what would occur after some stressful event, especially events where you told bits of truth, but you had absolutely no idea what you were supposed to do now after Sans had not only knew what your parents were like, but also after he reacted far differently than you had pictured.

Chara and Gaster were little help. Their presence was appreciated as they congratulated you for overcoming your fear, but you had a suspicion that they were just as lost as you were when it came to what happens next.

Sans was running his hands through your hair, working out the occasional knot he came across. 

You heard the door squeak open, and startled, lurched upwards and stared at it.

Papyrus was standing in the doorway, looking utterly baffled and somewhat melancholy.

“Oh! Papyrus. Hi.” The twisting thoughts suddenly dissipated and you found yourself putting on a smile. It wasn’t really a fake smile, but it wasn’t a real one either. It was more like a stage smile.

“HELLO. I HOPE I WASN’T INTERRUPTING ANYTHING IMPORTANT,” he said slowly, closing the door behind him.

“No, not at all.”

Sans sat back up, stretching. “yeah, you’re fine.”

“How are you, Paps?”

Papyrus shifted uncomfortably. “OKAY.”

“‘Okay’? Why just ‘okay’?”

“did somethin’ happen?”

“WELL. ER. YES, SOMETHING MOST POSITIVELY-- WELL, MORE LIKE NEGATIVELY-- HAPPENED.”

Sans glanced at you before getting up and walking up to Pap, patting his shoulder as best he could. “what’s that, bro?”

“OKAY. UM. THIS IS EMBARRASSING. BUT I TOLD METTATON I LIKED HIM.”

You sat up straighter. You saw Sans’s shoulders tense.

“did things not go… well?”

Pap crossed his arms. He looked incredibly uncomfortable suddenly. “HE SAID HE LIKED ME BUT NOT IN THAT WAY.”

“Oh, Pap, I’m so sorry,” you said. “That’s a really shi--crappy feeling, I know. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“i can turn him into scrap metal,” Sans offered.

“REFRAIN FROM DOING THAT AT ALL COSTS.”

“it’d be no problem. my pleasure.”

“SANS, NO!”

“maybe not destroy him. just rough him up a little. so his face is all dented and ugly.”

“SANS, ABSOLUTELY NOT! HIS FEELINGS ARE VALID EVEN IF THEY HURT MINE!”

“but that’s the problem, they hurt yours.”

“WHICH IS OKAY! HONESTLY, ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS CRY AND MAKE SPAGHETTI. AND NO HURTING METTATON.”

Sans still didn’t seem hyped about not decimating Mettaton. Despite that, he smile wide and said, “we can do that instead.”

Papyrus smiled tearfully at him and then walked into the kitchen, where you heard clattering and a small sob. You felt bad for Papyrus, and found yourself siding with Sans as you heard him crying, wishing that things had gone differently.

“i’ll just kill him later when paps is feeling better,” he whispered to you as he walked towards the kitchen. You snorted softly and followed him.

“I think I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. I hope you feel better soon, Paps.”

“THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT,” he sniffed.

Sans waved. You were glad he didn’t kiss you or give you a hug, knowing that it would only make the other poor skeleton feel worse.

You stepped outside, gnawing your lip and zipping up your jacket. You were confused as to what you were supposed to do next. An idea began to bleed into your thoughts.

“Oh! ____! How are you?” Grillby asked as you set foot into the familiar bar.

“I’m okay,” you said, sitting down at the bar. “How about you? I haven’t been in here in a while.”

“I’ve been quite well. Fyr’s been getting fantastic grades in school. She’s no longer angry at me either, which is very nice. How have you and Sans been?”

“Good. Very good. I just came from his house.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I left because apparently things between Pap and Mettaton didn’t, well, you know, work out in Pap’s favor, and he was really upset. I didn’t want to rub more salt in the wound.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. Hopefully he’ll be able to move on fairly quickly.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” you said softly. “It’s good to be able to move on.” Nervously, you tugged on your sleeves.

“Indeed.” He grew quiet as well.

You considered your life. Thinking about everything you told Sans made you shrivel. Slowly, your thoughts began travelling. You saw dust in your mind’s eyes, dust and tacky, tacky blood. Was it your own, or was it the blood of others? You felt like it was both. Small inklings of fear twisted around the vines that were already ensnaring you. It had been so long since you had thought of those times. Perhaps it was because you had been able to push the blame onto Chara, but as you thought about it harder, you remembered that it was still by your hand she did it. Your hands felt stained. Were they stained because that was all you had ever had? If your parents hadn’t done what they had, would you have been weak enough for Chara to do such a thing?

Anomaly.

 

Gray flowers.

 

Red eyes.

 

Deep scars.

They were not your fault, yet they were you. It hurt. Your parents were gone, and they couldn’t hurt you anymore, and talking to Sans somehow solidified that fact. He, of all people, wouldn’t let them hurt you; you were sure of it. But Sans couldn’t undo the past and unless you got a ton of brain damage, you certainly weren’t forgetting anything anytime soon.

And yet, you couldn’t honestly blame yourself for it anymore. Bits and pieces that truly had been your fault stuck, but larger traumas-- you couldn’t reason as to how you had brought it upon yourself. A new sorrow rose from your hurt for being tortured for no reason other than existing, but more than that, an odd and fuzzy feeling squirmed around within you. You felt slight relief and gratefulness. Humiliation still racked through your body when you remembered that you told Sans, but sitting there made you realize it was far more than just that.

 

“Is there something bothering you?” Grillby asked softly, leaning some on the counter.

You jolted a bit, blinking hard as you registered that you were crying. Warm tears slipped down your cheeks. “No. Not anymore, not in the same way,” you said. Gripping onto your sleeve with your fingertips, you wiped away the tears. “I was just thinking. I didn’t even notice I was crying.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just some weird closure. Kinda had an epiphany, hah. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, it is quite alright. Would you like to tell me about whatever has opened your mind?”

You laughed shortly and shakily, the tears gone. “I think I’ve talked about my problems enough for a while. Maybe later.”

Grillby settled back. “Did you talk to Sans about the problem?”

You nodded, albeit a bit hesitantly.

Fire crackled as you could have sworn Grillby was smiling. “I’m glad that you’re opening up to him. He cares about you very deeply.”

“I know.”

“I think I’ve heard about you at least once a day. Usually it’s a quick casual mention, but if he gets tipsy, he’ll talk his head off. I heard an extensive tale of you tripping eight times in a row.”

“That sucked. It was down a little hill in Waterfall and he wouldn’t help me. He was just laughing his ass off. If I had tripped one more time and he wasn’t a skeleton, he probably would’ve asphyxiated.”

“He nearly asphyxiated retelling it. It must’ve been quite the spectacle.”

“That was embarrassing. I cannot believe he told you about that.”

Grillby laughed. “Is it true that you did a somersault?”

“No. I’m not telling you that. I refuse to indulge in my humiliation.”

“He’s told me  _ other _ embarrassing stories, if you’d prefer.”

You didn’t notice, but Grillby did a good job at changing where your mind was at. That was one of his talents, and likely one of the many reasons why he was so well-liked by most who met him. “Oh my  _ god. _ How many have you heard?”

“I can think of about six stories off the top of my mind.”

“That’s so many, why would he  _ do _ that to me and my ego?”

 

Grillby teasingly began to go into more embarrassing stories, to which you began to protest. It was nice and a good distraction.

 

Gaster and Chara seemed a bit tense, and Gaster’s voice bled through your thoughts at points, but you were too focused to respond.

 

***???**

She was waiting.

Her brother did not wish to, but she reassured him that it would not be long.

They just had to wait until she fell right into their plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone again for helping get this story to the point it is now! I'm working hard on this story and on another one that should come out after GiC is finally complete (weird thing for me to think about, since I've been writing this for over a year)! Anyways, hope you all have a great day/night/whatever. Happy early Halloween!


	34. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A A A A A AA i FINALLY finished this guys i have to be honest with you I work on these super hard like the first three days of the month and then i think I wrote more than I did and then i'm like T H E C H A P T E R F U C K five days until the end of the month and that's my confession of the day. but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm getting better so hopefully that won't happen anymore :) Have a nice day you guys hope you enjoy the chapter!

Grillby gave you a free beer, and though you felt slightly guilty drinking it (take a wild guess as to why), you  _ did _ feel a little better after you drank it. A few minutes after you finished it, you remembered that Toriel asked you to call her, so you bid Grillby adieu and traveled home. You found that you also felt better after talking to Toriel on the phone (you didn’t tell her the full truth, though, it’d be too much for one day) and watching anime with Undyne and Alphys.

At first, you thought Undyne was being especially talkative, but you realized that she wasn’t talking more as much as Alphys was talking  _ less. _ Al was actually acting fairly odd. She was stuttering almost every word, and kept glancing all around. Her paranoia baffled you, and you were very tempted to ask her  _ why _ she was acting so weird.

Undyne asked for you. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Y-yes, I-I’m f-f-fuh-fine.”

“You’re acting super jumpy.”

“O-Oh, i-i-it’s nuh-nothing. D-Don’t w-w-worry. N-Nightmare I-I wa-was th-thinking a-about.”

Undyne made a face. “Want me to spend the night at your place tonight?”

Alphys was quiet, then nodded.

They packed up, and Undyne crushed your ribs in a hug before the two left. “Seeya later, nerd,” she called as they walked away.

You ate dinner when the couple left, then plunked a few random keys on Undyne’s piano before you went into your bedroom. You looked at the little doll for a bit and the picture Frisk drew for you, humming to yourself somewhat reflectively.

And then, you found sleep. Sleep after such a big day (good or bad, you weren’t sure).

The void again, in the dress with the flowers again, Gaster and Chara again, but Gaster had a complete form now. He was very quiet, with his arms crossed. You noticed that there was some magic--purple and black in color--wisping around him.

“Ah, ____. Hello.”

“Gaster?”

He smiled wistfully. “It seems that I can finally control my magic. In fact, I have a bit excess. Which is what’s floating around myself currently, if you were wondering.”

“Oh,” you said stupidly, blinking. You noticed that he had a pair of glasses on, and thought about how much of a dad he looked like. Somewhat tired, but very caring and aware. “So, does this mean…?”

Chara nodded behind Gaster. “Yeah. He can leave this place. But I think he needs to do it a certain way.”

“He can’t just leave?”

“I think I could, but Chara thinks it could be damaging if I did so even the slightest bit incorrectly.”

“How badly?”

“I think it could possibly send him back to the void-void. Or erase him again.” Chara copied Gaster and crossed her arms. “Who knows. I can only think of one thing that extracts pieces of souls that would safely get Gaster out.”

“What’s that?”

She looked again, eyes flickering. “It’s in Alphys’s lab, but she’d never show it to you. It was once used to extract determination from human souls, and now is hidden with her past.”

“Her past? Where is it in the lab? The second floor?”

“The third. The ground level. That’s the true lab. Where Gaster used to work, before he tore himself across time and space. I know the extractor would be safer, but I don’t know what would happen if the excess magic were to escape. It could hurt you once it materializes.”

You were floored, blinking. “So what are we supposed to do, exactly?”

“I’m supposed to latch it onto something here,” Gaster said softly. “It won’t work on Chara, we tried. That’s what we were discussing a while ago. It has to be something living.” He looked at you.

You opened your mouth, then closed it again. “What would that do? Would I be able to  _ use _ it?”

“Not anywhere but here, since it won’t come forth until it is extracted. But I don’t know what it would do. As I understand, there was some sort of run-in with Chara and magic long ago.”

“You mean with Asriel? That was different. ____, listen. It won’t hurt you, but someone would have to teach you to control it so  _ you _ don’t hurt anyone else.” Chara smiled wryly. “That anyone else being Gaster and myself, clearly. Mainly myself.”

“That sounds like a lot of responsibility,” you said. “Everything’s happening right now. There’s so much that’s changing, I don’t understand.”

“You’re straying from your typical course in timelines. You don’t remember what all the others were like, of course, but I do,” Chara responded, walking to you. “So much of what has happened has never happened before. For once, I’m completely lost as to what will happen to us.” She frowned, and you realized why Chara’s eyes seemed to flicker earlier. She was teary eyed. “I’ve been feeling more and more unsure. It’s weird. After years of the same, this is completely new.”

“Because of me.” Flashes of dust and your parents and red eyes passed through your head. Gray flowers rested around them.

Chara smirked, and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, the tears were gone. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

You looked between her and Gaster skeptically. “Let’s get back to what we were talking about. How are you, one, going to transfer the magic without me making you all blow up, two, how are you going to escape, and three, which is part of two, how the hell do I get to the lab?”

“You walk,” Gaster said calmly, pushing his glasses up. “The magic… I don’t quite know how to describe it. Perhaps I could latch it onto something other than yourself.”

“Like what?”

“The flowers,” he said, not breaking the gaze between the two of you.

“Gaster, no, we talked about that. They’re a  _ part _ of her here.”

“It would be less damaging on her soul.”

“With more variables!”

“___,” Gaster said calmly, “it’s up to you. Would you prefer the flowers, or your being? Both are still you, but I fear what putting so much power on your true, physical form would do. The flowers take some of that from you. We don’t know for sure exactly what that would do.”

“Oh fuck dude, I don’t know. I’ve had such a long day. I don’t know. This is so much. Just choose. Fuck. Fuck. I’m so stressed, I don’t know--” A deep panic seeped into your heart, and it made tears well up in your eyes. You wanted to cry; there was so much upon you in such a short amount of time. “There’s so much,” you whispered.

Gaster’s eyes widened fearfully. “Please don’t cry. I did not mean to overwhelm you. This won’t kill you, nor will it cause permanent damage. You won’t be able to kill either of us, and I can help you so that you won’t hurt us. Does that sound alright?”

“I guess so,” you choked.

“Shall I do the flowers, then? It would be less stressful.”

“If you think that’s best.”

“Don’t worry, ____. You’ll be just fine. I know everything’s scary and different and shit right now, but in the end, this will be for the best. You’re brave. Braver than you think.” Chara smiled at you a little, crossing her arms. She looked away, sighing heavily. “Things will turn out okay.”

You bit your lip, but stopped quickly. The way the flower at the corner of your mouth brushed against your lip made you uncomfortable. “When would you want to do this? Or need to?”

“Soon,” Gaster told you. “Preferably today, but we could wait until tomorrow or the next day. I am concerned that my magic will continue expanding and that there will be far too much for you to handle or for me to handle.”

You huffed, closing your eyes. “Okay. So. Like.  _ Really _ soon.”

“I should have sprung this upon you when you were in a better emotional state. My apologies.”

“No, its-- Don’t worry about it, alright? Just. Fuck. Tomorrow? Does that work okay?”

“Yes, that will be fine.” Gaster looked down. “Ah, that was quite foolish of me.”

“It’s not like you could control it or something,” Chara said, frowning. “You’re gonna annoy us both if you keep apologizing. Or at least, you’ll annoy me. ____’s not pissed, or whatever, just stressed.”

“Like she said, you can’t control it. I want to help you.”

Gaster smiled wryly. “I appreciate it.” He looked at Chara. “I must admit, I’m a little afraid.”

“Why?” Chara queried.

“Well… Sans. How will he react?”

You all got quiet. You pictured various scenarios with Sans, some going incredibly well, others going incredibly terrible.

“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Chara asked smoothly.

“I suppose.”

For the first time in a while, you wondered how Sans would feel with  _ you _ when he found out you’d been talking to Gaster  _ and _ helped him come back to the real world. In reality, you didn’t know how bad things had gotten with Gaster-- You only knew that Gaster was trying to save his life, or something. But what if he went through something almost exactly like what you had gone through? What if Gaster had been lying to you this entire time? What if, when Gaster came back, he acted just like your father would have? What if someone got hurt because of everything? If Sans had somehow helped your father back into reality, you would freak out, be angry, hurt, and terrified. Your heart began to sink. 

You hoped that Sans found his father worth forgiving, and not cruel.

***SANS**

In my dream, ____ was quiet. She stood next to me, but her face was blank and seemed broken. I could see blood seeping through the back of her shirt. It was in big, long, and crossed splotches. I knew that it was her scars, bleeding openly. I tried talking to her, or comforting her, but it was like she was a statue.

I felt a singing sensation on my soul. It was familiar. I remembered how the shots felt, how badly they hurt, and how at certain instances, it felt like I was being ripped apart. Old screams echoed around me with the familiar sounds of clicking and whirring machinery.

“sAnS. pLeasE StAY caLM.”

I was being held down suddenly, and the screams and whirs became deafening. I was back.

Gaster stood over me, flicking a syringe. His gaze passed over me and it was oddly contorted. One of his eyes were asker and there were large cracks on his eyes. “iT wiLL Be OKaY.”

The dream shifted as I shouted, and all I could hear was the sound of whips cracking and ____ screaming.

I recognized the setting. Undyne’s house. There was a movie playing on the television, and the main character was cracking a whip. ____ was on the floor, small and terrified, screaming her lungs off.  _ “I’M SORRY!” _

A shadowy figure of a human man stood behind her, and suddenly, the sounds of the whip were coming from him as he beat her. She screamed and screamed and I found myself screaming and screaming and I could see my dad lurking, lurking far away in the distance but far too close, and then I could see red eyes and I could hear the familiar laughs of an insane person as Chara dangled my brother’s skull in her hands--

And then I woke up, gasping and struggling to stop my tears.

“oh, fuck.” I moved so that I was sitting upright. I rubbed my skull roughly. I blinked a few times, then stretched. I exhaled slowly, trying to help myself relax. Slow breathing helped me push the nightmares either into the past or into the world of fiction, but it didn’t work every single time. The times it didn’t, I generally liked to go to Grillby’s, but I didn’t really want to bother him after seeing it was three in the morning. He’d be there, sure, but he’d probably be sleeping standing up, a particular talent of his that he learned from working long nights. Most people had no idea because he never told anyone; he didn’t even tell me. I just blipped into the bar and startled him awake. The fact that he had no distinguishable eyes certainly him out in his illusion.

I sighed heavily. I was tired, and I wanted to go back to sleep, but the fear made it difficult. I didn’t want to be alone.

A groggy voice answered the phone. “Hello?”

“hey.”

“Sans,” ____ muttered sleepily. I heard her yawn. “It’s three a.m.”

“yeah it is.”

She exhaled. “What’s up?”

“can you come over?”

“When? Like now?”

“yeah. if you can. you don’t have to or anything.”

“Like spend the night?”

“preferably.”

“Did something happen? Are you okay?”

I paused, thinking about what to say next. “i had a nightmare.” If she had been honest with me earlier, I figured it was only fair to return the favor.

She yawned again. “What was it about?”

“i don’t really remember.” I allowed myself the small lie, but followed up with a truth. “i can’t go back to sleep, though.”

“Okay. Don’t move. I’ll be over there in a few, alright?”

“the door’s locked.”

“You can move to unlock it, then,” she snorted.

“can i just come and get you?”

“If you want to.”

I did want to.

I teleported in Undyne’s house and knocked on the bedroom door.

“You can come in,” ____ said.

I opened the door, slightly embarrassed. “you can never be too careful.”

She smiled sleepily at me, stretching and popping her back. I cringed a bit. “I guess that’s fair.” She messed with her hair, tangled and wild. “I’m ready to go if you are,” she told me as she grabbed her phone.

“yeah, i’m ready.” I took her hand in mine, and she squeezed it reassuringly. 

I closed my eyesockets and teleported us back to my room. ____ bumped into me a bit, and she sleepily exclaimed in surprise.

“Sorry. I’m off-balance.”

“‘s fine. don’t worry about it.”

I could see that she was somewhat embarrassed still. Her cheeks were pink.

I sat down on my bed, still holding ____. She smiled softly.

I fell over and she exclaimed as I pulled her with me. “see? now we’re even. i bumped you.”

“More like  _ pulled, _ ” she replied.

“pulled, then.” I kissed her cheek. She hummed gently.

“Do you have a blanket?”

I scooted, peering around her. “foot of the mattress.”

“Are you implying I should grab it?”

“you’re the one who wants the blanket.”

She huffed and turned over, trying to pull the blanket towards her with her feet. She was doing a poor job, but eventually she did manage to get ahold of it and pull it so she was covered in it. “Stop laughing!” she moped, scooting next to me.

“no,” I laughed. I felt better about the nightmare with her so close. Still uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep. I realized that she had gone through a massive shift compared to earlier in the day. She told me about one of the worst things that ever happened to her, crying in my arms, and now she was laughing softly, cuddled close to me.

Thinking about how odd it was how life could shift so quickly, I found myself drifting back to sleep, relishing in the warmth of ____’s arms.

***???**

“Hello, Alphys. I need you to do something for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? write a chapter without A N G S T ? h a h


	35. I Won't Let Anyone Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof oh boy life has been wild guys enjoy the chapter and I hope y'all have a happy new year!!

***???**

“W-What? S-Something e-else?”

“Yes, Alphys. Something else. I need you to retrieve the human for me.”

“What?  _ W-What  _ ?”

“I need to retrieve the human for me.”

“T-There’s two! I-I can’t they’re m-my friends!”

“I won’t hurt them. I need the woman. ____. Just for a friendly conversation.”

The flower had barred the door just as he had the previous morning so that the lizard woman could not leave. He’d also made sure she got Chara the determination she demanded. Now, Flowey laughed to himself. She’d been caught completely unprepared, and the threats he made to injure her girlfriend satisfyingly prevented her from speaking about the two of them.

Some deep part of him felt very guilty, but he pushed it aside. It mattered not. Alphys had fallen into their trap, and now they could use her to get to the girl.  _ And then we can erase this world, forever,  _ he thought.

Alphys was shaking, on the verge of tears. “A-About?”

“About business. Flowey won’t be with me, don’t worry.”

He looked at Chara, shocked. “I won’t?”

His sister rolled her red eyes. “Of course not. Do you think she’ll trust you after everything you’ve done in the past? I want to talk to her, not for you to scare her off.”

“But…”

“  _ No. Buts,  _ ” she snarled.

He shrunk. It was very much like her to change plans last minute. He was expecting that if the plan changed, it would change so they would kill ____ again. What they originally discussed was Chara taking back the control stripped away from her. And now she was trying to  _ talk  _ with the piece of trash? And wouldn’t even let him help hurt the girl as they originally said? Or make her cry? He was baffled and somewhat angry.

After all, hadn’t it been  _ him  _ that had pulled her to her death many times? Hadn’t it been him that had made sure the job was done  _ last time?  _ He had helped his sister get to the point she was it. He had done practically all of it. He’d even  _ died. _

And now, here she was, putting her foot down.

He glared at her, and she returned the cold gaze, shifting form. She turned back into black mass for a moment, then back into herself. He noticed she was larger than before, and that there was something glinting in her fingertips.

Instantly, he dropped his gaze. He remembered how scared he had been of her the timeline before. The way the red eyes glinted and how she threatened him with her knife. How cruel and flat her expression was.

Flowey suddenly remembered why he had been so glad for that timeline reaching an end.

***Y/N**

Your dreams later in the night had been uncomfortable and weird, but nothing scary. You did not see Gaster or Chara in your dreams and you had no real consciousness. It was a limbo, and nothing more.

You walked through acres and acres of gray flowers, all whispering and hissing with each other. The vines they grew from were full of thorns and closely resembled the branches of a rose bush, but they were nearly as large as a tree. The expanse went on, but not forever, and when you reached the end, you turned around only to see that your way was blocked.

Confused, you turned back, but that too had changed. A long road stretched out before you. It was uncannily smooth. You took a step forward on the left side of the pavements, while you also took a step upon the right side of the pavement.

There were two of you, but they were the same you. They were two separate particles. One was a girl with a few gray flowers in her hair and was in black clothing. The other was covered in flowers and was in white clothing.

A black ooze followed one and gray flowers followed the other.

Then, you noticed there was a third.

A girl in a gray sweater walked the middle road, followed by nothing at all, walking forwards to the unknown beyond.

And then, you woke up. It was a dream that you forgot almost instantly. You blinked groggily, trying to work out your surroundings, when your stomach was suddenly squished and Sans pulled you closer to him.

Oh. Right. You were at his house. He’d had a nightmare.

Sans was snoring softly, body contorted. One arm was holding you tightly while the other was flailed behind him and was resting on his bedroom floor. His legs were crossed a bit.

You smiled softly, imagining him as a pretzel, since he was doing a somewhat decent job of mirroring one.

You gingerly reached for your phone, trying your best not to wake up your boyfriend.

That worked poorly, because a few seconds after you opened it with the intention to check the time, Undyne called.

Your ringtone blasted, and panicked, you quickly hung up and sent her a text.

*”Im at sans’s hes still sleeping”

*Dirty Undies: “Why do you never tell me these things before you leave? I just walk in and you’re gone. Also…. Sans’s, you say? Wow, getting some action?”

*”Can you not be a perv for ten minutes”

*”I just spent the night, there’s nothing else that went on”

*Dirty Undies: “Uh huh. Whatever, idc, but I was actually calling because Al said she needed to talk with you today. And soon. It was weird. She’s being acting weird, but I can’t find anything that’s been wrong. Her anxiety must just be acting up or something”

*”Tell her I’ll be over there around 12, I guess”

“why does al want you to come over?”

You squeaked and dropped your phone with a clunk as Sans rested his head on your shoulder. “Jesus, Sans, you scared the shit out of me.”

“oops.”

You laughed. “Yeah,  _ ‘oops’  _ , you asshat, oh my god.”

He smiled and shut his eyes drowsily. “i thought you knew i was awake,” he said. “your ringtone isn’t exactly quiet.”

“‘Oops.’”

“yeah,  _ ‘oops,’”  _ he teased. You picked your phone back up, checked to see if Undyne had sent another text (she hadn’t) and rolled back over, resting your head against his.

“How’d you end up sleeping, babe?”

“pretty good. no more bad dreams, which was cool. also, you’re like a hot, squishy water bottle, which is also neat.”

You gasped, feigning offense. “Are you calling me fat?”

“what? no. you have skin. which is warm and squishy.” He emphasized his point by poking your stomach.

“Where does water bottle come in?”

“you’re tall like a water bottle.”

“That’s even weirder.”

“i never said it wouldn’t be weird,” he snorted.

You rolled your eyes and gave him a quick peck, snuggling back against him. He rested his head back on yours and sighed. The two of you stayed like that quietly for a bit.

“what time is it?”

“Nine-ish.”

“mm. i’m surprised pap didn’t come in here and wake me up earlier.”

“Beats me. Maybe it’s because I was here?”

“that’s probably it,” he yawned.

You stretched and popped your back. Sans recoiled from you. You smirked at him. “Oh yeah. You hate that, don’t you?”

“it makes me uncomfortable,” Sans said stiffly, cautiously hugging you again.

“What a nerd,” you laughed. You felt oddly great. The events of the previous day seemed far away and vague. There was a certain connection between the two of you that had somehow soothed you. He always found some way to help. It was like, for lack of a better word, magic.

“yeah, pretty much.”

Again, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you. Sans played with your hair a bit, braiding it and unbraiding it. He wasn’t doing a great job at it, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, and, if you were being perfectly honest, you were enjoying yourself as well. Sans obviously didn’t have hair, so you improvised and massaged his skull instead. He hummed.

"you're really great, you know that? i know that yesterday wasn't easy for you."

You smiled at him, a little somber, but mainly happy. "Thanks. You're pretty great too, you know. I don't know where I'd be if I couldn't trust you. It's hard sometimes."

He hugged you to his chest. "i really do love ya, you know? that wasn't just a spur of the moment thing."

A pop of delight overcame you, but you concealed it. Sadness still lingered, but it'd lost the power it held. Maybe it was only for a little while that it would and then it would come back stronger, but in that moment, it didn't really matter. "I love you, too."

"i won't let anyone hurt you anymore. i'm here now."

You squeezed him for a moment, and then contently allowed him to play with your hair once again.

“SANS, ARE YOU TWO AWAKE YET?”

He grunted and pulled away from you with an disappointed sigh. “yep!”

“GREAT! I’VE MADE BREAKFAST, SO GET DOWN HERE!”

“‘kay.”

You rolled away from Sans, who reluctantly sat up. You got to your feet, adjusting your shirt’s sleeves back down (they’d moved up and revealed a few scars during the night), and waited at the door for Sans to get up.

“ARE YOU GUYS COMING?”

“Yeah! Sorry, Pap.” You turned to Sans. “Come on, you can’t lie there forever.”

“bet i could.”

“Bet you shouldn’t. Pap’s gonna be pissed if you don’t hurry up.”

“eh.” Sans finally brought himself to his feet and walked with you downstairs.

Breakfast was spaghetti. You ate it, but you didn’t take a large portion. Papyrus took the largest amount of spaghetti by far, but Sans was surprisingly not far behind. It shouldn’t have been that surprising when you really thought about it, but you were anyways.

It was a pretty casual breakfast, with Sans and Papyrus joking back and forth. It gave you time to think about Gaster and the magic. He didn’t say anything, but you could hear Chara offering support and encouragement.

_ “I mean, you’re going to Alphys’s today anyways, so it works out pretty perfectly. When do you want to do the magic thingy?” _

You shrugged slightly.  _ “I dunno,”  _ you mentally answered nervously. A pit in your stomach grew. Despite everyone’s reassurances, you were still nervous about what the magic would do as well as Sans’s reaction to his father’s return.

“earth to ____.”

You looked up at Sans. “Hm?”

“you okay?”

“What? Yeah. Why?”

“YOU LOOKED UPSET. AND YOU WEREN’T RESPONDING.”

“Oh! Sorry. My mind was just wandering, I’m fine.”

Sans blinked once, then shrugged. You had the feeling he thought you had been revisiting your memories of your parents again. He didn’t say anything more about it, though, so you were free to think more about the situation you had been presented with.

“what time were you wanting me to bring ya back over to your place?”

You pushed away your empty plate of spaghetti. “Mmm. Depends. What time is it right now?”

“ten.”

You sighed, considering your options. “I guess right now. I’ve gotta do some stuff before I go to Alphys’s.”

“okay. be back in a sec, pap.”

“OKAY! FAREWELL, ____! IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BRIEF!”

“Bye, Pap!”

Sans linked his arm with yours, and you felt the world shift around you until you were back at your front door. Sans kissed your cheek. “wanna hang out later?”

You closed your eyes and hummed. “Sure. When were you thinking?”

“i dunno, whenever. just call me. we could do dinner or something, depending.”

“Sounds good,” you said. “I’ll see you later.”

He moved away from you, winked, and disappeared. With a sigh, you opened your door, guilty about the whole upcoming Gaster event. It felt like a dirty secret.

_ “You don’t need to tell him you were involved,”  _ Gaster said quietly.

You shook your head. “I don’t want to lie anymore. I’m not happy, G, not really-- but I think that maybe for once, I’m actually getting better. Recently, with everything that’s changed, I’ve been the happiest my entire life. And I think part of it is not lying anymore. I don’t want to be alone anymore, you know?”

Chara appeared in front of you as you stepped inside the house. She was smiling.  _ “Hey, I’m proud of you! That’s not easy, trust me, I know. I’m glad that you’re feeling better.” _

“Thanks, I app--”

“HEY NERD! How was your night?” Undyne bellowed as she crushed you in a hug. Chara disappeared. “Did you have…  _ fun?” _

“You’re so nasty. I thought we already went through this. Can I just cuddle my boyfriend without your dirty jokes immediately assaulting me?”

“Nope. But, uh… Seriously. Al seemed pretty ansty to see you. I don’t know what’s up, but I think it’s important. You should get down there as soon as you can. I know you said twelve, but if you got over there early, I think it’d settle her nerves some.”

“Okay, thanks. I gotta change out of my pyjamas, though, soooooooo… can you let me go?”

Your friend dropped you. “I guess I should get to work, anyways. The dogs in Snowdin get pissy when I’m late to our meetings. I’ll be sure to say hi to your boyfriend while I’m there.” She winked so hard that you felt a small gust of wind. Well, maybe not really, but it  _ looked  _ like it could’ve been that hard.

She punched your arm, slung her leather jacket over her shoulder, and went out the door.

You changed quickly, nervousness increasing exponentially.

“Let’s just get it over with. Let’s just get it over with,” you muttered over and over to yourself.

_ “Are you ready?” _

“Absolutely not, but let’s go anyways.”

The room around you was suddenly the void, and you were suddenly out of your sweater and jeans and back in a white dress, covered in gray flowers.

“____. Before we proceed, may I just thank you? I can’t begin to express my gratitude for what you’ve done for me. I understand that this is scary. I understand that you’ve put many things dear to you at risk due to my presence, and I truly cannot completely tell you how thankful I am that you gave me this chance.”

“Gaster. Really, it’s fine. I’m glad I could help. And I’m glad that you’re the way you are. And that you want to say sorry.”

“Of course I want to say sorry. Though I had the best intentions, what happened was unacceptable. I’d be a terrible creature if I did not apologize for such a thing.”

You thought about your parents. No sorries there. No regrets. They just wanted to be rid of you. Your thoughts trailed other places.

“Are you ready?” Chara said, repeating Gaster’s earlier question.

You tensed, and nodded a bit. Gaster sighed heavily, and took one of the flowers on your wrist. It hurt when he tugged at it, so he stopped and just held your arm.

“This might hurt.” Gaster took a deep breath. “Try to not make big movements.”

And there was a sudden electric blast that rang throughout everywhere and everything.

Flowers of gray burst up around you as you raised your head and screamed and screamed from the thorns digging deep into your skin.

And then?

And then the void was normal.

And you felt a certain, scary feeling of strength.

You coughed and coughed, and brought your hand up to your mouth quickly. Flowers burst upwards from the ground.

“SMALL MOVEMENTS!” Chara screamed.

You choked out an apology, trying to gain your composure. “I feel weird.”

“That was it. You’ve done it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Like I said, though, this is tied to you now. I don’t know if it will stay forever or only for a few hours, but you must be careful. Since I tried to attach the magic more to the flowers, they will be very sensitive to your actions. Try to keep it slow.”

“God dammit. Alright. Wow. Fuck. Okay.”

“Want to go back?”

You nodded at Chara.

 

It wasn’t super smooth, going back. You actually fell on the ground when you did and coughed up a little flower and determination. It’d been so long since that had happened, and you weren’t feeling as bad as usual.

_ “Normal. Don’t worry.” _

Just to make sure the magic really didn’t follow you away from the void, you raised your arm in a rapid motion.

All that happened was that you looked like an idiot, so you relaxed.

Your phone pinged, and when you looked at it, a rush of panic overcame you. It was five minutes until twelve. You’d been in the void far longer than you thought. It must’ve taken much longer to tie the magic to you than you had assumed.

You had about ten missed calls from Alphys and twenty-seven texts. You thought she must’ve been worried you weren’t coming.

You ran out of the house and headed towards the lab.

***???**

“Asriel, what’s the lizard doing?”

“Nothing,” Flowey responded.

This was untrue.

Alphys was trying to warn the girl what was waiting for her. She had left the lab in a rush, taking the shortcut to Undyne’s home to stop her from coming.

And he surprised himself with the hope she would get the warnings in time.

 

***Y/N**

You didn’t look at the texts in your hurry. You just kept going.

You got to the lab ten minutes past twelve.

Alphys wasn’t inside. You called her, but it went to voicemail.

“Hey, Al, I’m at the lab, super sorry for being late. Where are you? I’m going to look around on the other floor, just in case you haven’t responded because your phone is dead or something. Later.”

You still didn’t think to check your texts. There were so many. Too many.

You couldn’t find her on the second floor, but something else caught your eye.

A glimpse of black ooze leading into a room.

Cautiously, you followed.

“ _ Stop. This isn’t right. Something sinister is at play.” _

“What do you mean?” You heeded his warning, stopping in your tracks.

_ “You need to leave. Get to the elevator right now. And fast.” _

You took his advice, turning tail and sprinting away. The elevator was at the end of the hall, and you became aware of something following you.

Flowey appeared at the end of the hall.

“HURRY!” he screamed, and suddenly, that fear was so much worse. If it wasn’t him following you, what was?

 

His eyes widened and he vanished.

Chara, with gleaming red eyes, stood before you.

 

“____. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Don’t tell me you forgot about me. I’ve been waiting for so long now to have this moment. After all, I haven’t had a vessel as spectacular as you to use in decades. Why don’t you make this easy for the both of us?”

“No,” you said.

“More determined, I see. That’s fine. I can work just fine with that.” She smiled horrible and stretched out her hand. “ _ That soul is mine.” _

It was being tugged at. You saw the gray heart appear in the air before trying to soar towards her. You dug your fingers into it and screamed, holding your ground. Ooze pooled at your ankles. You began to be dragged towards her.

_ “____! Don’t let her get the soul!”  _ the other Chara screamed at you.  _ “MOVE! RUN!” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Gaster, what--” _

_ “I will handle this once and for all.” _

_ “What are you talking about?!” _

“Gaster?!” you screamed questioningly, trudging against the ooze.

 

There was a bright flash of light and your soul broke in two for three seconds.

There was no pain.

Just a blinding light and a filling darkness, before you were back in the lab.

 

Gaster stood in front of you, purple magic flaring.

Chara was no longer smiling.

His voice was a garbled sound, as if he had forgotten how to speak. It was a glitchy mess, and the crack down his eye was bigger.

But he was there.

A hand appeared in front of you, signing something. It’d been so long since you’d used sign language.

_ “I will not let this continue on this plane. I will not let you get hurt.” _

And so, the fight began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is going to be WILD guys just you wait also i'm highkey shook??????????????????? I've been writing this for so long and so many things that I've been thinking about forever are actually HAPPENING.


	36. Into Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a CHAPTER WITH A BIG EVENT THAT WAS SOMEHOW FINISHED AT THE VERY END OF THE MONTH?!!!!!! AND NOT LATER THAN THAT???????????? UNHEARD OF  
> i actually was shook i was so sure i was gonna miss my deadline and i was like absolutely not i need to publish this on time this is all i do so here it isssss :) enjoy

Your soul was twinging painfully, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage that had been caused. Though there was a thin crack down the center of it, it seemed like it was holding itself together okay. The crack kept getting fainter, albeit slowly. You weren’t too concerned with it, if you were being honest.

Chara swung her knife around, black ooze circling at her feet. Her red eyes were gleaming ominously, and though she wasn’t smiling, you could see sadistic glee painted across her face.

“ _ You _ again? Jesus. I thought that what we had was special, ____! But no, you just can’t stop whoring out your determination. Now I have to kill this piece of shit  _ again. _ Do you know how irritating this is?”

Gaster warbled again, before reverting back to sign language in defeat.  _ “Stay away.” _

Chara snorted. “I have no idea what the hell you just said, buddy. Not like it’s gonna matter. You ready to die or what?”

Gaster moved further in front of you, his body tensing. Small pops and crackles were sparking at the fingertips of his left hand. “ _ Run, ____,” _ he signed with his right. He then raised his left hand high above his head, a bright flourish of purple flame fully sparking in his palm, and suddenly, a rush of bones were speeding towards Chara. Purple flame was able to be faintly seen radiating off of them.

For a moment, you were too busy staring at the bones, but the danger quickly reached your memory again. You picked yourself up quickly, backing away as best you could, looking for escape in a panic.

The bones hit Chara’s arm, ripping it to shreds, but she was otherwise unscathed. She made eye contact with you, smiling widely as black goo traveled up her arm and filled the wounds in, as if she had never been harmed at all. “You’re not the only one with new tricks.”

She twirled her knife cheerily, and then ran towards Gaster. She brought her arm out wide and slashed his midsection, hard. She reached for you, but Gaster dodged in front of you and you found yourself screaming as she landed another deep slash upon him.

For that second, your heart thundered in defeat, but to your absolute surprise, Gaster stood himself back up. Two large gashes were cut onto his jacket, and you could see the cracked bones underneath the fabric, but they seemed to be melding back together.

There was a flash of dark purple, and suddenly Chara was flying backwards. Her body slammed against the wall behind her with a loud crunch, but just like Gaster, she was standing in a moment. Black ooze flowed up her body to repair the damage, and though she seemed a little angrier, she was unscathed. “You’re stronger, I’ll give you that. But I’ve gotta thank you! I see where the comedian gets his tactics from now.” She dusted off her shoulder. “I wonder, though, did he inherit it from you, or did he  _ learn  _ it out of… defense?” She smiled too widely, exposing too much of her gums. In front of you, Gaster’s body tensed. Chara continued, “After all, I understand that you weren’t exactly the best  _ father.” _ The red eyes glinted. “It wouldn't surprise  _ me _ if I heard you experimented some of these  _ techniques _ on him and he had to find a way out.”

_ “I never attacked him,” _ he signed angrily as more gibberish came out from his mouth. It had more structure than previously. You could decipher “ _ never” _ out of the mess. A large skull of sorts appeared above his head and blasted a beam of light towards the girl.

The sight made your heart clench for a moment, and then you remembered.  _ Run. _

You turned away, remembering the elevator behind you, and scrambled for it once again. Flowey was gone now. You didn’t know where he had went, but it really didn’t matter. You threw yourself inside the open door, and began smashing the ‘up’ button with your hands.

You looked back at Gaster and Chara, feeling slightly guilty for abandoning him. Chara was shouting, dodging Gaster’s increasingly explosive attacks. She made eye contact with you, and suddenly narrowed her eyes. She raised her hand, black goo flooding towards you.

In a panic, you threw yourself away from the closing doors, trying to look for any possible cover. In a small instant, the doors were encased in a purple, wispy magic. You looked at Gaster, who seemed to be straining with effort to use his magic in so many areas. Before you could do anything, however, the elevator doors slammed shut with unnatural force. You were knocked over by the sheer power behind it, and were now engulfed in darkness.

A mechanical voice sounded in the machine.  _ “Warning! Warning! Elevator losing power!” _

Your attention was pulled to the doors. The small box continued shaking as the black slime slammed into the doors over and over again. There was a loud creaking noise, and suddenly, a loud snap sounded from above you.

_ “EM tether stability lost!” _

The elevator began to plummet downwards, and you fell back down despite your attempts to rise. A strangled gasp escaped your mouth as your stomach rose to your throat in an uncomfortable lump. The pounding continued as the elevator fell jerkily. The elevator was falling as if someone was trying to hold onto it with a grip that continued slipping.

_ “Altitude dropping!” _

You tried standing once more, leaning onto the wall for support, trying to scoot back to the doors and the control panel. The small prison you found yourself in jolted down once more and you nearly fell face-first into the ground as one of your knees buckled beneath you. You shrieked, and then nearly slammed your head against the wall as the elevator was caught once more and brought to a jarring stop. Nauseous, dizzy, and scared, you crawled to the doors and prepared yourself for another fall.

When the final fell came, it landed with a booming thud and cracking noise.

Without a second thought, you pried open the doors with your hands and shot out of the trap. The room you found yourself in was cold and musty. Dirt and mold coated the tiled floor, creating an especially revolting grime near the cracked walls.

It was dark, only lit by the green text of a few computer screens lining the hallway. In the dim setting, you could see dust fall from the ceiling with each thundering  _ boom _ from above. You stood, unsure of where exactly you were. The True Lab? Is that what Chara had called it? Was this dismal place what she had been referring to?

She did not respond. It scared you slightly.

There was a loud clang behind you against the elevator, and you took off running into the dark halls, not willing to stay behind and see what was coming for you.

The hallway was long and your footsteps echoed. Each screen you passed turned on with a quick  _ blip _ before shutting back down. You had no time to read what was on them.

You finally rounded a fork in the pathway-- the first one you came across-- and almost the moment you did, there was a loud screeching sound of metal being torn through. A voice reverberated down the halls, screaming, “You can’t get away.  _ I WILL FIND YOU!” _

The voice seemed far away, but as you heard the pitter-patter of footsteps begin running down the halls, you once again fled. More sounds akin to explosions started echoing down the halls, appearing next to other signs of magic. Chara screamed once, and then Gaster shouted. You couldn’t quite make out the words. The warbles were better than before-- they were now more like the slurs of an extremely drunk person. At one time, you had been able to decipher those slurs easily, but that had been so long ago now-- so strangely long ago-- and you found that you no longer understood the tongue.

Another scream echoed, but this time, you weren’t sure who it belonged to.

You kept running, and ran right into a room that had some sort of medical beds as well as cabinets and sinks occupying it. Seeing another doorway, you rushed in, but found a dead end. A piece of paper lay on the ground.

“... sink…. dropped it…”

You ran back out and began to turn each of the sinks on full blast, desperate to find the key and someplace safe to hide.

The third sink didn’t have water inside of it. Instead, a white goop fell out, and in horror, you stumbled backwards.

A face began to form, smiling-- and then more-- and more--

A horrifying amalgamation of monsters was before you, falling apart in blobs before coming back together. You couldn’t even tell what monsters it had in it.

“Fuck,” you breathed, before attempting to turn tail and run, hoping with all your soul that you would be able to make it to the other pathway before Chara did.

The monster(s?) made a noise, and suddenly attacked, slashing you with something and bruising you with giant white blobby faces. Voices wafted from your phone in glitching hisses. You didn’t pick it up. You could hear them already. “Come join the fun,” they whispered.

“No.” You scooted backwards again, beginning to slowly edge away. “I don’t want to. Please let me leave.”

The creature made more hissing sounds, and once again you found strange, melting attacks coming at you. Dodging them with more success, though not completely without fail, you scrambled further away. “I don’t want to hurt you!” you shouted at them. “I need to GO!”

The multiple faces looked at you with an emotion you couldn't read, and giggled softly as they melted back into the floor.

You stared until you noticed the key left in the sink and rushed back to where you assumed it went, hoping for some pathway to open up.

You did it, and though the key fit perfectly, no haven opened for you. You cried out in anger, and ran back outside, now only looking for a place to hide. You had taken too long. Wherever Chara was, she would be catching up to you, and there was no promise that Gaster could hold her back long enough. You hid yourself in the cabinets, thankful that there were no more melting monsters in them, and tried to stay silent.

_ “You’re strong,” _ a voice said softly as a ghostly brown-eyed Chara appeared before you.  _ “Don’t worry.” _

Her return brought some hope to you, and smiled weakly at her, trying to provide her the same comfort. Your face showed too much fear and worry, you knew, but the ghost smiled back, before looking off. She was twinging, and her form was facing away from you.

_ “Where did you go?” _ you thought nervously.

_ “I was… holding together,” _ she replied, strained.  _ “Focusing. Trying something. It’s. Working right now.” _

_ “What are you doing?” _

She shook her head, hushing you. She screamed a little, and you recoiled.  _ “I can’t. Talk right now.” _

You obliged, no longer directing thoughts her way. Instead, you watched her to try to gauge what she was doing. You knew it probably had something to do with Gaster or Chara, given the situation and her position in everything. She seemed to be concentrating intently, but in an instant, a loud crash came from the hallway leading to the room you were in. The brown-eyed Chara vaporized, and left you alone.

_ “Chara?” _ you thought, wanting the comfort of another to be with you again.

_ “Shh. St-stay hidden. I’ll be back… later.” _

You bit your lip and covered your mouth to help silence your breathing. Why wasn’t she talking to you? Why would she leave you right  _ now _ when she was the only one who could understand what was happening in her other half’s mind? Could she even understand the other half? Probably not, you couldn’t remember her being able to do that before--

“WHERE ARE YOU?!” you heard Chara screams echo.

_ “Stay….” _ Gaster’s broken voice followed. There was a revolting squelch of flesh being punctured and another roar of rage. You could hear the  _ shiiing _ of metal being swung harshly.

Another thundering boom.

Another shout.

 

It entered the room, and now you could hear something new; a sloshing noise. You guessed it was the ooze.

 

“I know you’re here,” she growled.

You peeked through a crack you left in the doors of the cabinets and saw Chara, melting in an odd way. Pieces of her were trying to reform as the dark goop, but now it seemed slower. You could also see a small bit of Gaster. His lab coat was torn to hell, and there was a large crack on his sternum. He seemed tried, but he pressed on. A large flash of purple encased his hand and then, a large amount of skulls apparated from nowhere. They blasted in Chara’s direction, but she swiftly began to dodge, sliding underneath a few beams of light and promptly jumping over others. She jumped towards him and went to stab him.

He moved a little, but not enough, and her blade sliced his shoulder blade. He swung her away, throwing her back down the hall and out of your sight. You were scared.

You could call Sans-- but you had no idea how he would react to Gaster. If he was paralyzed with shock, there was a high chance that Chara could kill him. No one else could just grab you and get you out in an instant, either. You didn’t know where you could even go, when you thought about it. The elevator was surely not working any longer. 

Your heart stuttered as a cool liquid passed over your hand. You at first thought it was Chara’s ooze, but when you looked down at it, you saw a white liquid seeping into the crack. You swallowed harshly as another melted monster(s) began to form.

“Cold,” it whispered. The form vaguely reminded you of some assortment of monsters you had seen in Snowdin and the Ruins, but you couldn’t exactly decipher them. Perhaps someone with the same lineage as Snowdrake-- you could see that much. “Sn...o...wy…”

Attacks surrounded you, but they did not close in.

You stared at them with fear. “Help,” you whispered. It turned slowly, gazing towards the crashes.

“Sn...o...wy…” it repeated, quieter. It seeped out of the cabinet, and you felt a little grateful that it at least didn’t hurt you, but helpless as it did nothing to assist you either.

A little goop flowed back in and tugged at you sleeve. “He..lp,” it whispered, eerily similarly to how you had.

You hesitantly stepped out of the cabinet, only doing so after you saw through the crack that Chara was not near.

It trickled on the floor near Gaster, sliding next to him. “Hel...p,” it repeated. “He..lp.”

Gaster turned towards you, eyes wide. He signed,  _ “Leave,” _ before turning back and raising more skulls from the ground.

You practically screamed as the white goop covered you. Instead, a harsh gasp that made your lungs sting came out. You could feel it shift as it moved and mold as it stopped. It smelled odd within the goo and you were trying your best to hold your breath. Little plips of white hit your face and then trailed off to reform with the creature.

You heard Gaster scream down the halls.

You felt your heart begin to pound faster.

_ “Chara?” _ you thought, wishing for her company. 

_ “Call Alphys. Tell her you are in the True Lab. That’s all I can do--” _ She made a loud scream that echoed inside of your skull at an agonizing volume. When she spoke again, she seemed like she was gritting her teeth.  _ “Can’t. Talk. Hurts.” _

She went silent for a moment.

_ “Holding your soul together. Hurts, remember?” _

You did remember. You remembered a long time ago when she had shown you her scarred palms.

_ “I can do it--” _

_ “You need to eat something. M-Monster. Food. Heal your soul.” _

_ “Chara--” _

_ “No. Quiet.” _

You were.

It was cold.

So cold.

There was a loud bellow from Chara, and the monster suddenly began to shift more quickly. It rumbled and you gasped as the impact hit you.

It started moving faster.

You were scared.

There was so little you could do here-- Why should you keep trying? When it all came back to such a broken timeline-- What did you truly give back?

Your parents had--

But there  _ was _ some good that had come from them, wasn’t there? There was Frisk. Frisk, your beloved sibling, Frisk, the reason you had kept living for so many years. They were something, weren’t they?

And then there was Toriel. She was there for you in a new world where you had no one. She was there to be a new parent to replace the horrible. She was there to make “Mom” a name that made you smile instead of cringing with the memory of old scars.

Papyrus, who was a dear friend, almost a second younger sibling to you in many ways. He had made you smile and laugh and genuinely feel his joy even when you were relatively fresh from your parents’ house of horror.

Sans, of course, who had stood by you through so much for so long over so many painful, scarring memories, who had made you laugh more than you had your entire life and made you truly, legitimately happy for the longest you had been in years just by being him. Sans, who hadn’t left when he found out about the scars on your wrists and Sans, who had been understanding when you told him about those that you had been given by your old parents.

Undyne, who was the first real best friend you’d had since high school, who had been so willing to protect you so quickly and who had been so supportive even though she didn’t understand so much of what was going on with you. She tried her best to make sure you were alright, in her own way, even when you had accidentally pushed her away at times.

Grillby, a great friend who you’d been able to talk to even at the latest hours and be so honest with the majority of the time. He’d had your back many times.

Alphys, who had saved your life numerous times and who had been bright and cheery and nervous with you, who you knew deep down had a very similar issue as you did with depression. Many did. Alphys needed your help just as much as anyone else. She needed people to help her, like you had people to help you.

Even Asgore, who you hadn’t been around much, had been so friendly to you. Mettaton could be fun to be around at times and it was a little fun to make fun of him with Sans.

Gaster, who was risking his life that he had fought so hard to get back for you and for the people he had done wrongs by.

Chara.

The little girl who could have been Frisk, who was, in many ways, you.

 

You dialed Alphys’s number.

“Alphys?”

“O-Oh ___, thank g-god, I’ve been trying t-to-- The l-lab isn’t s-safe, don’t go--”

“I’m in the True Lab,” you said hushed. “Chara’s here. She’s trying to get my soul. Ga-- Someone’s helping me, but the elevator crashed. I can’t leave. I’m trapped.”

“The… True Lab?” Alphys made a squeak. “You-- Y-you’re stuck there?”

“Yes. Can you fix the elevator or something-- anything?”

“I-I-I… don’t know. I’ll t-try. Um. C-Can you c-call Sans?”

“I’m scared to. The person who’s here… I don’t know how he’ll react. I don’t want him to get hurt because of me.”

The ooze shifted and you were suddenly dropped out onto the floor. “H...elp,” the thing said again.

“Thank you,” you whispered. You were in a cold room with mirrors and refrigerators now.

“W-Who was that?”

“I don’t know exactly. It’s almost like it’s multiple monsters put together, I don’t know, it’s melting or something.”

“You’ve r-run into the amalgamates, th-then,” she said quietly.

“Amalgamates?”

“N-Not important now. S-Stay hidden; I’ll see what I-I can do.”

“Okay,” you said, a little cautiously. Did she have something to do with the amalgamates? “I’ll, um, try to find somewhere to stay. Call me when you can get me.”

“I will. G-Get back to you then.” She hung up, and you surveyed your surroundings. You had no clue where the amalgamate had taken you. The sounds of shouts were distant, but you could still hear Chara shrieking in anger. The warbles and gibbered language also came faintly bouncing off the walls, and you found yourself thankful beyond belief that Gaster was still alive and fighting.

You suddenly remembered what Chara had said about your soul and food.

You remembered running past a vending machine way far away, but you had no idea where it was and it had been very close to where your antagonist had last been.

“Do you know where any food I can eat is?” you whispered to the amalgamate. “Monster food. To heal.”

“...Y...es…”

“Is it safe to go there?”

“Dang...erous…” It retook its more solid form. “Do...n’t go.”

You breathed out slowly and nodded. “Do you know which way the elevator is from here?” You had to be able to get to Alphys eventually.

“Far… away.”

It gestured at the exit nearby you, then walked over to one of the fridges in the room. It opened it and then closed it. It shuffled there for a moment before moving down the hall. It paced back. “No...thing.”

It walked away again before reluctantly going back to you.

You recognized it wanted to leave. You didn’t really know why, but it didn’t really matter. “Thank you for everything you’ve done,” you said. “I think I’m safe here.”

“We...lcome… Good...bye.” It left your sight, and thusly, your attention turned back to your soul.

It had clearly been more damaging than you thought when Gaster left in an effort to protect you-- just as they had been worrying about earlier. You wondered if the contraption that was mentioned truly would have helped anything. It had to be somewhere close, but you weren’t willing go searching. Maybe, though, if things had gone well, it would have been easier on Chara. She didn’t deserve to be in pain for this. She didn’t deserve to experience this a second time. You hated that she was trying to hide the pain.

You pulled out your soul and looked at it, wondering if you could hold it together instead.

When you pushed the halves together, you didn’t feel a difference. It didn’t seem to be very different at all; it was still gray, still slightly cracked, and still--

No.

It was different.

Your HP was eerily fluctuating between 0/15 HP and .5/15 HP. You should have been dead, as far as you knew. It didn’t even hurt though, not really. There was a dull sting, but there had been worse, and you hardly noticed it. And had it been out of 15 last time you looked at it? You remembered it being lower, around 8.

 

And then you realized it was a completely different shade of gray. You’d seen your soul only moments after Gaster appeared, and it had been that faded, dirty concrete color, but now it was lighter. It looked like it was shimmering, maybe, as metal did.

You couldn’t understand what had changed in the few moments between now and then. What had changed about you? What had there been?

Why wasn’t it so dark and dull now?

 

The sound of crumbling concrete and rapid footsteps began to come down the corridors. Laughter followed. “How well can you hold up when I’ve trapped your protected with debris?!” Chara asked joyfully.

You couldn’t focus on your soul any longer. There were more important things now.

You didn’t know the way out or a place to really hide yourself. You didn’t know if you would make it out. But you were confident that somehow, you could.

There was a distinct difference in that to you.

Frisk, were they in your situation, would know they could get out. They had that confidence. And you also had a similar kind of confidence some time ago, but with a different perspective.

This was not certain.

You could get out. You had that chance. You had the ability to try to escape.

 

And you ran past the fridges.

You came to a room that left only a dead end. The amalgamate was gone. You didn’t know where.

 

So you had to think differently.

 

You hid behind one of the fridges and tried your best to be quiet as Chara’s footsteps grew louder and louder. The sound of ooze slurping grew.

“I know that you’re near,” she hissed. “I can sense your soul. I can feel your fear. And I  _ will get you.  _ I  _ will _ have that soul once more, and erase this world.”

They were close. She was only feet away. Gaster was shouting in the distance, and you could hear him trying to chip away at whatever barricade she had made.

“Isn’t that what you want? Everything would end, ____. You wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. You wouldn’t come back. Your parents would be gone. Even I would be gone. All the things that’ve caused you so much grief would disappear in an instant. You would be free. I can help you. I know you want to end everything. You killed yourself recently in another SAVE file-- so why not make this easy for the both of us?”

She stopped in front of your hiding spot. You shrank into the shadows and held your breath.

“There’s one place you could have left,” she said, singing slightly, walking to the door that had presented you with no escape. “Why not come out?”

She wasn’t facing you any longer, and with courage you hadn’t presented in a long time, you shoved her hard into the room and bolted.

She screamed and snarled, hitting the wall hard. A large, black splotch spattered when she hit it.

You ran before you saw anything else, pumping your legs as hard as you could and running so fast, running like you had run from your father. Running harder. Running past it. Running to keep the world how it was, as difficult as it was to survive. Running with the image of your little sibling’s smile and of your boyfriend’s smile and of the smiles of your friends and new parently figures.

She was close behind. You could hear the goop getting closer and closer and closer. You could see where Gaster was trapped. It was the end of the hall, where she must have been pushed back to when he was still able to battle her.

There was a room. You turned into it and prayed it wasn’t a dead end.

It was more of a bed end.

You hoped Sans would’ve appreciated your pun if he’d been there.

You ran past the beds, but the corner had cost you time, and you had paid the price.

The ooze snaked around your ankle and pulled back, hard.

You screamed as you were knocked off of your feet and dragged backwards with increasing velocity towards Chara.

You could her red eyes gleaming as you grew closer and closer. She had apparently let the black goo take the harder work as she was stopped at the large, goat-like contraption you had ran past when you immediately exited the room. It was familiar to you (it looked similar to Gaster’s skull-blasters he’d been using).

You were stopped inches away from her face and released. A staggeringly tall wall of black formed behind you, prohibiting you from running any further.

“That was quite the workout,” Chara laughed. “I’ll give you this; you tried. Isn’t that what counts? Even though you failed so miserably.”

“Stay away,” you said, tense. You thought,  _ “If she gets too close to me, let my soul break.” _

_ “You’d die--” _

_ “But no one else would. No one else. That’s what matters now.” _

Chara’s eyes narrowed. She dangled a knife in front of her. You noted that her arm was entirely black. “Whatever you do, I’ll come back. You see, I’m stronger now. I’m smarter. I know that you’re too weak to fend me off alone. Really, you always have been-- but now you’re alone.” She laughed again. “It’s such a shame. Your soul has a strength that’s uncommon, and you can’t even begin to utilize it. You just reject the determination provided to you. You let your HP drop to critical levels. You don’t use the dexterity of it to house anything more than a few  _ weaklings, _ one of which I’ll dispose of the moment I take your soul for my own.”

“I won’t let you.”

“You will. And it’ll be just like old times. I’ll kill all of your friends, even little Frisk and that comedian, and then I will destroy it all. I’ll let it all die. It’s disappointing that you wouldn’t go along with me, but I can’t say I’m surprised. You’re like my other half.” Her scleras went black. Ooze started seeping out from under her eyelids and from her parted lips. Blood or determination was mixed in with it, as red was visible too. “You’re all heart and no head.”

You didn’t know if it would work.

But you tried.

With a bellow that certainly caught the demon off guard, you attacked her.

Ooze hit you hard in the back like a whip crack, and you were paralyzed for a moment. 

_ “It isn’t them. They’re gone. I don’t have to be under their care ever again. They can’t hurt me.” _

You screamed again and punched her away. She swung at you with her knife and cut your arms deeply with a cackle. Another swing came at your right arm, and you were barely able to dodge it. The air was thick. You ducked at another slash and shoved her hard.

She stumbled, but the ooze caught her and 

You kicked her away from you towards the skull. She stumbled for a moment, ooze pulling at your hair. She kept a tight hold on it and pulled herself back to you.

“NO!” you shouted as you saw her clamor to you, knife ready to stab.

You caught her arms and stopped her from being able to gut you, bringing it back on her and slashing without much precision.

It cut her eye, and she wailed. The goo suddenly lost much of its form.

Melting.

She looked up, eye already closing the cut, and went to cut you again.

You dodged it and pushed her away from you as hard as you possibly could to the skull. This time, though, she didn’t have a wall to break her fall or solid goop to bring her back up.

Chara grappled at the air around her, and then tried to use her goop to circle her and bring her back to balance again, but she was too slow and the ooze was too goopy.

 

She fell into the black void with a scream of uncanny terror, hand outstretched, and suddenly, the ooze left by you faded. It didn’t seep out or creep away; it merely faded, as if erased.

You hadn’t noticed, but your soul had been pulled out of your chest.

 

You didn’t stick around to see what happened. Holding your bleeding arm and pushing your soul back into your chest, you ran to Gaster.

 

He was just about to break out.

“GASTER!”

“STAꞑD bAℂൿ,” he shouted. You could understand him. He was learning quickly.

You ran back, and one final blast-- there must have been so many that you had been too distracted to hear-- rang out. The rocks were moved enough that he could squeeze out. “Wዘε༢E?”

“She fell, I pushed her, she fell by that skull-thing, into this blackness, I couldn’t see where it led, but that’s where she is,” you said, leaning against the wall, panting. “I don’t know what it means.”

He was quiet, and walked back. When you went to follow, he put his hand up sternly. “No,” he said, clearer than anything else. It sounded just like how he did in your head.

You waited, tense, ready to run or fight or anything.

He came back, quiet.

“What does it mean?” you asked. “Is she gone? Is she gone forever? What happened?”

He went back to sign language.  _ “She is in the void.” _

“That’s good, then!” you cried out. “She’s gone! She can’t hurt anyone anymore-- she’s trapped! Isn’t she?”

He was silent.

_ “Not exactly.” _

“What do you mean?”

_ “She is still connected to you. I’ve been theorizing for a while, but now I know.” _ He looked up at you. _ “She can sense her other half. She can feel her presence. And she is pulled to it. Chara was banished, yes, but she is waiting for you. She is waiting for you to try to go back into your own little void. She could interact with you if she pleased, but I think she is waiting to kill you. Saving her powers. Making sure she has enough to overtake your soul.” _

“What does that all mean? What if I just don’t go back?”

Gaster handed you a bag of potato chips, motioning for you to eat them. Once again, Chara’s pain was brought back to mind, and you hesitantly ate a few. Gaster waited until you were done with the bag to answer. The wound on your arm healed and you felt better.

The brown-eyed Chara finally appeared in front of you again, holding bleeding hands before her, tears streaming down her cheeks.  _ “I wouldn’t expect you to know,” _ she said quietly, staring down at her gory hands,  _ “but the only way out of here that could have the happy ending Frisk won’t stop fighting for sends everyone to the void. Everyone in the underground. Which would include you. What it means is that unless we take care of her for good, you can’t escape. And the only ways to do that are to somehow defeat her, merge our soul back into one whole piece, or…”  _ She looked at you miserably,  _ “to kill  _ me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst?  
> and not angst?  
> and a n g s t ?  
> wow lookit me go
> 
> What do y'all think about everything that happened in this chapter? Any ideas? ;) I'd love to hear about them!!! And I'll try to respond to comments I get because I've been sLaCkInG recently sorry rip


	37. Forgiveness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY THEREFORE EARLY CHAPTER PUBLISHING here you go yall honestly i'm so happy this story has come to where it is i think i've gotten a lot better at writing and it's really crazy to think that i'm coming up to the end of this story!! it'll be so weird not writing it anymore when it gets to that point, but i'll have new stories to distract myself, i suppose ;) i think those are coming along well. BUT!!! I'm just having fun here and I'm super grateful for everyone who reads this story. happy anniversary, guys, enjoy the chapter.

Alphys reacted in horrified shock when she saw Gaster.

She had apparently been the one to replace him after he erased himself by accident. She remembered him once she saw him, but as she described it, he was “no one” and “nothing” before that moment.

You were so scared for Sans.

You had somehow fucked everything up, but this time, instead of just accepting it, you were going to face your mistakes. You could talk to Gaster about it later along with Chara and maybe Al and Sans, if they were able to understand the situation. Telling Sans that you helped bring his father back from non-existence and were buddy-buddy with the good half of someone he only knew to be very, very evil seemed a little iffy. But hiding Gaster wasn’t an option and telling him about Chara might not be, either. You weren’t sure.

Gaster couldn’t see or hear Chara any longer, but he said he could tell when she was talking to you because of how your face changed. While Alphys reset everything and helped you work out a game plan (as well as helped patch you up completely), you worked on a plan.

You needed to tell Sans. Somehow, you needed to soften the blow before it hit him, and when it did, you needed to keep him calm. You were nervous.

Alphys offered to call him over, but you shut it down. You didn’t want her to do it for you.

And so you tried your best to keep calm and called him.

You went outside. Everyone agreed it’d be better if you two met and you explained what happened a little before Sans had such a bomb dropped on him. You dialed in his number, but you didn’t immediately call. You tried your best to calm down.

_“You can do this, ___. Keep calm.”_

“Thank you, Chara,” you said. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Are you feeling okay?”

_“More or less. Better, clearly. But listen. Sans loves you and trusts you. He might be angry, but he’s not gonna ditch you. He still loves you. Not to bring up nasty memories or anything, but he still loved you even after he saw you kill a whole bunch of people.”_

“That’s not incredibly comforting. I don’t think he’d feel the same way if it had been _me_ intentionally murdering everyone.”

_“Maybe not. But he’d still care. He’s been with you through so many different resets. He’ll be okay. Just breathe… and call him. Sooner is better than later.”_

You did as she suggested, filling your lungs with warm but satisfying air, and slowly exhaled. You did it a few more times before you finally felt ready.

You pressed the call button and held your phone to your ear. “Hey, Sans?”

“hey babe. what’s up? you calling about dinner?”

You took a deep breath. He’d picked it up quicker than usual. “No, I was calling about two things. You’ll want to come over to the lab. Right outside of the door.”

“uh. you good?”

“A lot just happened. A lot. Um. I think it’ll make more sense when you’re here.”

Sans grabbed your shoulders and you shrieked.

“hi,” he whispered. Sans straightened, smiling wide. It quickly faded. “whoa, are you okay? what happened to you?”

Your clothes were still torn and slightly bloody. “Chara came back,” you said quickly.

“ _what?”_

“She tried to get my soul. I had some help fighting her off, though, and I accidentally banished her to the void. To make a long story short.”

“why didn’t you _call_ me? you could have died!” Sans seemed angry. You really didn’t blame him.

“I was scared to. I didn’t want you to put yourself in danger. And… God, I was really scared. I’m really scared.”

Sans shook his head, grabbing your arm. “are you hurt? you’re not hurt, are you?”

“No, I’m okay now. I’m--”

“let me see your soul.”

You obliged. He observed it.

“it’s low on hp.”

“That’s its max,” you said uncomfortably. “I don’t have a lot. It’s all full right now.”

“how long has it been so low?”

“I don’t know. A while, I guess. It got a little higher recently, though, I don’t know why exactly.”

Sans let your soul go and you pushed it back into your chest. “___…”

“Let’s not talk about my soul right now, okay? There’s more important stuff to talk about right now. Chara’s only part of it.”

“what’s the other part, then? don’t keep me in the dark.”

“Please… I’ll understand if you’re mad at me. Okay? Just… try to hear me out, okay? It’s about who helped me.”

His face was somber and a little anxious. “who?”

“Sans--”

***SANS**

“--your dad saved my life.”

I stared at her. “my dad?”

“Your dad.”

“my dad-- i don’t understand--”

“Sans. Gaster? Do you remember him?”

I looked to the side. “but he’s _gone.”_

“No, Sans, he came back. He saved me multiple times from Chara. I just want you to know before you run into him, y’know? And I’m so sorry. I don’t fully understand what happened between you two, but I know it was awful. I helped him come back.”

I started hyperventilating. I could still remember the ache in my soul as there were more tests. I could remember him standing above me and not stopping the experiment. I remembered the resets _he did_ to try to make his mistakes just go away. I remembered his face when he realized that I could still remember what he did. I remembered how hard it had been to be around him and how he had kept trying to act like nothing had changed. I remembered all of my nightmares.

“Sans--” She was scared, too. I could tell. I could see the fear. She looked like she wanted to grab or hold me, but she stayed away.

“you don’t know him. he’ll hurt you. he’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t--”

“did he hurt you already? is that why your soul is still broken?” The thought only occurred to me then. How else could he have come back unless he used the same tactic that the demon had?

“No, he didn’t hurt me, he protected me,” she said, shaking her head violently.

“where is that piece of shit?”

“Calm down a little first, okay?” she breathed, hands in the air.

I looked at her. She didn’t know, clearly, exactly what had happened. She must have been duped somehow. He wouldn’t have told her how much it had really hurt, because he couldn’t know. And the scars that it left… She couldn’t know that either. I knew it, especially with her parents how they were.

“what’d he tell you?”

She crossed her arms. “He said… he hurt you.”

“how long have you known him?”

“A while,” she admitted.

“a while.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” she blurted. “If you hate me, that’s okay. I understand that. I get it. If you want me to leave you alone I get it. I don’t want to hide things or lie to you anymore. But if you can’t get past this, that’s okay, because I know that I’d be really upset if you were like me, and I know that you’re really angry and I’m really sorry and I don’t know what else to say except that I’m so incredibly sorry.”

I blinked. “i don’t hate you.”

“But you’re mad, I can tell-- and it’d make sense. I don’t really fully understand what happened but I know it wasn’t good and he told me he wanted to talk to you and I should’ve actually talked to you about that but I wasn’t thinking because I’m an idiot. And I don’t think I’m all in the right or anything. I should’ve been honest earlier.”

“i don’t hate you at all.” I laughed a little. There was no humor beneath it, and I was still scared as fuck, but I hated seeing her so upset. She could very well still be on the verge of jumping again, and I would not let that happen. I was mad, too; _really_ mad. Most of it was towards my father, but to say that I didn’t feel betrayed in a way would be a lie. I could tell that there was a lot that she hadn’t thought about previously that she was now, and that she was beginning to spiral. “how much _sans_ e would that make?”

She laughed shrilly and briefly. She wasn’t comforted. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I don’t really think I should be supported right now. I don’t know how to help you. I should have thought more about this, about everything, maybe I dropped this on you too fast, I don’t know… I don’t know. But I don’t need support right now. You do.”

“i’m fine.”

“You’re crying, Sans. I know you aren’t fine.”

I stiffened, and sure enough, I could feel the moisture on my cheekbones. “i’m not crying.”

“Sans, I can see that you’re crying, you’re not weak for crying, you know, you don’t have to worry about something like that, or whatever it is you’re worrying about.”

Okay. There was no way to lie myself out of this one. “i’m crying a lot.” She laughed shortly, and I snorted, but the fear came back and the tears fell down faster. “i really need a hug.”

Sh wrapped her arms around me tightly and I squeezed her back. I was dying. The anxiety of knowing that he was nearby was crippling and the further fear that he had maybe somehow gotten ____ to see his side wasn’t making me feel awesome, either. Chara was back, and now she was gone, but somehow it felt like that was nowhere near the end of the story. If Gaster had been able to come back from the void, there was almost definitely a way for her to do it, and if I had to guess, she’d probably try to go through ____ again. I was mad that he had been able to come back when I was so sure that he was gone and just a painful memory that left a deep scar. I was mad that she trusted him enough to let him come back. I wanted to go anywhere else but wherever he was, but ____’s fears were legitimate. I couldn’t teleport.

She was warm and soft and comforting. She was still ____. She still cared, she was still here. I could still count on her. I trusted her.

“where is he?”

“Inside. With Alphys. Are you feeling okay enough to go in?”

“i guess. you’re coming too, right?”

“I wasn’t going to leave you unless you wanted me to.”

“i really _do not_ want you to leave.”

“Then I won’t,” she said. “Whenever you’re ready to go, I’ll be right next to you.” She snuggled more against me. “I want to be here for you.”

I wasn’t ready, but then again, how in the fuck would I _ever_ be, so I pulled away shakily, wiping the remainder of the tears away. If I didn’t go now, I wouldn’t.

She was caught off guard by my instant turn to the door and enter.

Her hands ghosted my jacket, and she caught ahold of my arm. She gave me another comforting squeeze.

I saw him, and he saw me.

“Sans,” he said. It was just as I remembered him. He still had the odd accent. I wondered if ___ could even understand him when he spoke.

“you,” I snarled. The anger flared. ____ looped her arm with mine and I inhaled deeply. I tried to calm myself.

He stared back at me, upset. He was a little different, sure, but I still knew that face. I still knew him. He had those cracks before he fell and erased himself-- they were only bigger now. Wider, cracked. My old man looked roughed up; I could see smatterings of red (determination, I assumed) and dust on his clothing. His clothes were torn to shit, anyways. I noticed one eye was slightly droopy. I wondered for a moment if it was stuck there. The man was breathing heavily. I noticed how close to death he really was in that moment. Gaster was hanging on by a thin, thin thread.

He was silent for a moment, but after a deep sigh, he found his voice.

“You probably won’t forgive me, and you don’t have to.”

“good, because i’m not going to.” I was done. He saw me, he said what he had to say, and I didn’t want to be around him a second more. I tried to teleport, but nothing happened. I frowned, and instead laced my fingers with ____’s in another attempt to comfort myself. I looked to the door. ____ really didn’t understand. She was too trusting that he could change. I was sure that he was still himself, especially from his brief, lame opening line.

The fear, anger, and hate were mingling in an incredibly uncomfortable way.

“I’m apologizing nonetheless. For everything. For each place I have failed you as your father and as a person. The experiments I performed were supposed to help you gain back the strength that resets had taken from you, but I only brought you more grief. I did not want you to suffer, to remember every horrible erased part… I didn’t even accomplish what I wanted to do for you. I did not want you to die, but I did not want this either. My reasoning and excuses will never give what I did enough ground to be defended upon. I had hoped I could start over with you as the son I had known before the experiments, but it never would have happened, even if you hadn’t retained your memory. I’m utterly despicable. The pain I caused you was far too great, I had already completely failed you. You could only see me as a danger, a threat, and though it hurt me, you had every reason to believe so. The trauma that has followed you due to my own mistakes shouldn’t have. That burden should have been only put upon me-- No. It should not have been there at all. I never should have even considered performing such a risky experiment upon my own child. I feared losing you so much that I put the pieces that were falling apart in the wrong places that only came to damage you more. I am no father to you, Sans. In fact, I do not want your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it for what I did. What I want is to put myself before you and truly express my regret. I want you to be able to unleash your anger upon me as you see fit. I want you to be truly rid of me and sleep happy. So, Sans, really, what I’m saying is if it would make you happy, I want you to kill me. Get rid of every trace, of every painful memory. You are my son. I should try to fix what I’ve done.”

“Gaster!” ____ shouted out. She looked stricken, and her hand was tightly clamped around mine.

I considered it for a good moment.

“you’re telling me that if i want to kill you, you’ll let me?”

“If it would make you happy. If it would make you better.”

I stared at him. ____ was quiet, but I could tell she was horrified. I ignored her, darkly considering what to do. I clenched my fist. “you have no fucking clue what you did. i have nightmares. i only stopped having them when even worse ones replaced them, and they didn’t actually even stop. they just slowed. those two months were horrible. i was scared, and i was hurting, and you didn’t stop. i would have died, but you could have reset. you could have done so much other bull but you didn’t. you could have told me then why you were doing what you were doing. you could have told me that you thought what you did to me could have possibly helped other monsters who were weak or dying. i found that shit out on my own when i joined the royal scientists. you could have done so much bullshit. you could have done so much. it could have been worse, sure, but it sure as fuck could have not happened. you could have tried to help me somehow afterwards instead of trying to ignore the problems. and i do want to kill you. but i don’t want to be the lesser person. i don’t want to have that on my mind. i don’t want you to be in my nightmares as a dead man. i don’t know if i can forgive you. we won’t ever be the same. i still get scared sometimes. but i know that you’re not all bad. it’s hard for me to say that. i’ve been remembering those days for a long fucking time, dude. but at the same time, i can see that you’re close to death. i can tell. you’re hiding it from ____ and you’re hiding it from al, but you can’t hide that shit from me. you almost died to that demon. i don’t know why it didn’t kill you. but i know ____ said that you saved her life. i know that you were actually trying to protect her. and i know that you actually feel like shit because of what you did, which really, you should. but i can tell. that you’re not exactly the same as that guy from my nightmares.”

Dad looked baffled. He was close to tears. The expression on his face was indescribably happy and relieved. A loud, sudden burst of laughter erupted from him. The tears began to trickle down his cheekbones. He was utterly aghast by reaction. “Sans, I don’t know what to say. That is not at all what I expected from you. I don’t deserve such clemency from you after my atrocious actions.”

“that said. i don’t want to be around you unless papyrus and ____ are nearby. ever. i can’t be alone with you.”

He returned to a slightly solemn expression, but I could still see the gratitude lying underneath his expression. “But of course. I am extremely grateful, Sans. I wish that I could have been a better father to you and your brother. I wish that I had done it all differently.”

“well, we’re not going back, so. but. i guess. i appreciate. the thought.”

Gaster then fell down. “I think I need medical attention,” he croaked.

“I-I’m on it,” Alphys squeaked. I jolted a little as she scrambled towards Gaster. I’d completely missed her when I came inside. I was dead-set on Gaster. She wasn’t even in my thoughts in the slightest.

“i need to go now,” I said shakily to ____, slumping against her. “that’s enough. i need about eighteen breaks.”

“Okay, we can go. I’ve got you, Sans. I’ve got you.” She held me close to her, and I melted, embracing her warm, soothing nature into my being.

***Y/N**

Sans still couldn’t teleport, and he was having a really hard time walking.

So you carried him.

You figured it was okay to just leave because everyone had just had a pretty fucking rough day. You’d done a lot in just two days. You were, quite frankly, also ready for a break.

“I’m taking you to my house, if that’s okay. It’s a lot closer and not nearly as cold. You can sleep on the couch or on my bed. But not Undyne’s. Um. She’d murder you.”

"that’s fine,” he mumbled sleepily. His breaths were warm and slow.  
"Do you a preference, babe?"   
"which one has more space?"   
"My bed, but I don't think it's by a whole lot, sorry."   
"is it big enough for you to lie on it with me?"   
You laughed and smiled as you felt him chuckle against you. "Unfortunately... no. I don't think it is."   
"then i'll take the floor, i think."   
"I'm not letting you sleep on the floor, Sans. Why don't you just lie on top of me? I can be... what was it? A 'squishy water bottle?' Is that what you called me?"   
"only with the most love and affection. a guy has to appreciate such a gift."   
"You can be incredibly cheesy, did you know that?" you asked as you opened the door to your house, very careful not to drop your small boyfriend.   
"i take pride in it. plus, it's not like you don't like it, so."   
"Fair play. So? You lying on me sound okay?"   
"i get to kiss you, right?"   
"If you desire."   
"great. i'm gonna do that, like, a whole bunch. so get ready."   
You kissed his forehead and he melted against you. When you looked down at him, he was blinking sleepily and yawning. It was amazing how much he could change mood or at least seem to change mood in just a few moments. You set him down on his feet and allowed him to walk the rest of the way to the room.

"you couldn't carry me the few extra feet?" Sans groaned.  
You laughed, rolling your eyes. "Um? What a lazy boy. I'm trying to be a good girlfriend and not drop you. You can walk the next few steps. You have it in ya."   
"i might be able to. but now i'm cold. i want to be against you again. you're so warm." He hugged you again with a deep sigh, leaning against your neck.

You placed your hand over his and pressed a quick smooch to his temple.

“You are a nerd. I think you’ll live,” you said as Sans grumbled to himself.

“i just like being near you. is that so wrong?”

“No, not really. I’m perfectly fine with it.”

Sans hummed.

“Okay, bone boy. I love it when you hold me and all, but you’re also preventing me from being able to get to my bed. Where we can cuddle.”

“mmmph. fine.” Sans released you, but he almost instantly took your hand and wound the two of your hands together.

You opened the door, shuffling to the bed. “So. I’m a little tired, just so you know. If I fall asleep, I hope you get it.”

“i’m always tired. it’s chill. as long as i get a few kisses.”

“You will. Greedy.”

“yeah.”

You rolled your eyes and took your hand back from Sans as moved.

You walked to your bed and flopped down on it, tired. You legitimately were ready to sleep for a few hundred years. Maybe a few thousand.

Sans followed you, sitting down next to you. He poked your arm. “don’t you use a blanket to cover you?”

“Maybe.”

“you’re lying on it.”

“Dammit,” you groaned and pulled the blanket out from under you. Sans got up when you did so, but when you gestured for him to move over to you, he gladly complied. Sans flopped on top of you and instantly curled his arms around you (the best he could, at least, since you were lying down). You tossed the blanket on top of him hastily since your arm reach was limited somewhat. You then wiggled underneath him to get a little more comfortable before you hugged him back and cuddled against him. “You comfortable?”

“very. you’re a hot, squishy water bottle.”

“I’m so glad that you refer to me like that. Just the happiest.”

“i told you. it comes from a place of _love_ ,” Sans protested. He leaned in to kiss you, and the familiar, warm crackle of magic that you’d come so accustomed to. He raised a hand to cup your cheek as he continued to pepper you with kisses.

You were a little startled. This was a massive change. You could understand why-- he probably was done with focusing on the painful shit. That was something you did frequently and had been more recently.

Sans was being awfully cuddly.

“your lips are really soft.”

“Mm. Your teeth aren’t, but you’re still a pretty good kisser.”

Sans’s smile grew and you smirked back as you saw a light blue dust his cheekbones. “thanks. it’s sort of a hobby of mine.” He pressed another delicate kiss to your lips. “i’m being obnoxiously cheesy. wow. i feel like i’ve passed a new milestone.”

“That’s okay. But… are you really okay?”

“um, no. not really. but hey, i’ll live. most likely.”

“‘Most likely?’”

“anything could happen. i could spontaneously explode or something.”

“That seems horribly unlikely.”

“i mean. my dad just came back into reality from the literal void after years of nonexistence so it really probably isn’t that far-fetched. i’m just saying.”

“That is true.” You were both quiet for a second. You didn’t know what to say. Was Sans mad at you? Even though he definitely wasn’t acting that way, it wouldn’t be surprising. And the uncomfortable silence was a slight implication that he probably was. “Are you mad, babe?”

“a little, if i’m being honest,” he said, moving up to look at you better. “but i’m not furious. i’m more scared and sad if anything. you haven’t changed. you’re still the woman that i’ve known through a whole bunch of shit. you’re still beautiful, inside and out, and you’re still one of the most important people to me in the world. i don’t know. i’m not always the best at what i do or say or whatever. i’m sure you get it, you’ve seen it a lot. i really just love you. all the times that have hurt so much are… i dunno. not so bad. you’re so good. you’re so much to me. you’ve been here through so much.”

“Sans…” you said softly, looking at him.

“i’m just saying that i really love you. that’s all.”

“I love you too, Sans. You’re going to make me cry.” You kissed him, holding him tighter. He smiled wider against your lips and kissed back, sinking into the moment. He gripped you tightly.

“you crying is the opposite of what that speech was supposed to accomplish,” he said muffled against the kiss.

You pulled away for a moment to get a breath of air, smiling at him. “Hey. You were the one that decided to be cheesy. If I cry some happy tears, I have the right.”

“i guess that’s fair,” he chuckled.

Sans snuggled back against you, curling up and sighing deeply. You kissed his forehead tenderly and rubbed his back. Sleeping with Sans was something you felt like you’d been missing out on for a long time. His presence was comfortable and it made your heart flutter.

Sans’s breath slowed until it changed to a quiet snore, and you soon followed, falling into a deep sleep.

Maybe things would be okay.

Maybe you could do this.

***SANS**

Maybe I would be okay.

Maybe things would finally continue without a reset.

I would be alright. If I could get through seeing my dad again…

I could be fine.

 

This wasn’t so bad. I was happy, despite the fear and anger and other underlying emotions.

And that was new and welcome.

I was happy.

I was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a positive note at the end of a chapter? unheard of


	38. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF this was almost late sorry about that guys hope you enjoy it anyways I'm gonna work on getting these done sooner y'all

You were waiting at a table in Alphys’s lab with Chara.

_ “Why does he take so long?” _ she complained.  _ “He’s supposed to be ready already. This is bad manners.” _

“He’s gathering his papers and junk. Calm down.”

_ “Is he going to make me read stupid science crap again?” _

“Presumably.”

_ “Lame,” _ she replied.

“Chara. It’s fine. You’re fine. This is important, y’know.”

A door opened and you and Chara looked up. Gaster walked into the room, holding a folder tightly. He smiled a bit.

“I apologize. I misplaced my papers.”

“It’s fine,” you said. “Chara’s been a little whiny, but you know her.” Chara rolled her eyes at you. “She didn’t think that was funny,” you informed Gaster.

He chuckled. “I won’t keep either of you waiting any longer. Here are some of the solutions we’ve been working on,” he stated, presenting a paper before you. He had adapted well during his month back to the real world.

People had varying reactions to seeing him. Papyrus, for example, had quite a different reaction than his brother. He’d been overjoyed to see his father yet again. He didn’t even remember he had a father until now! Of  _ course, _ he knew he  _ had _ one, he said, but he merely assumed that his father had been absent all his life and that his mother had passed away when he was very small.

Asgore, however, was startled beyond belief and was forced to sit alone in the other room for about five minutes before he returned and crushed Gaster in a hug and ask him about everything. He also apologized for not remembering Gaster’s name and not pushing further into his disappearance.

You and Sans had been there to see both of these reactions because Sans had insisted that he be there (particularly with Papyrus) and slowly, he had started relaxing. He still refused to be around Gaster without another person in the room, but he wasn’t so adamant that it be you or his brother. You suspected that Papyrus brought him some comfort because of how well he was interacting with their father, but Sans truly didn’t want to linger on the matter, so you didn’t push it.

You were having more nightmares of Chara, though. Ones of her hurting her other self or the people you loved. Some had your parents standing beside her. You started talking about them more, partially because you were trying to be open, and partially because Gaster insisted on staying updated. Chara, now that Gaster wasn’t occupying the same space as her, was talking a lot more. You had yet to completely explain to Sans the separate parts of Chara and how one you were trying to save while the other you were trying to stop from murdering everything and everyone. You planned on telling him, though. Really, you did. First, however, you wanted to have more solutions.

“Is it more of what we’ve already talked about?”

“Some is, some is new. I think we’ve come up with some pretty solid ideas, but, we will need to discuss them. You’ll make sure Chara is paying attention while you go over them, won’t you?”

“Yes, I will.”

_ “I’m so tired of reading big sciency words in weird, muddled sentences,” _ Chara griped, floating over to you and looking over the paper as you stopped yourself from chuckling.

You looked over the paper.

“Nothing really new, huh?” you asked, scanning through the paper.

“Look on the back.”

You flipped it over and started reading again. “I don’t understand. Pacifist route? Coming forth about the amalgamates? Asriel? What is this?”

Gaster sighed, crossing his arms. “That is the solution I find most favorable. I believe Chara has already, in fact, brought it up. I won’t go into specifics, as it isn’t important currently. What our end goal with this strategy is it bringing everyone in the underground to the void. And! Before you start, it does indeed sound dangerous. Chara, however, will not be able to severely harm such mass before she will be contained. You will be sent to the void in this situation as well, clearly. You will need to either rejoin the soul or defeat her and cast her into the void permanently. With so much help, this will be significantly easier. Not to mention the fact that you now have your own form of ‘magic’ in a sense to protect you. I’d advise practicing with those flowers any time you find yourself in that dark place with Chara. Work on control and attacks. I find it will be beneficial.”

“So… then what?”

“Please elaborate.”

“I somehow banish her or rejoin the soul? And then what? What do I do when I banish her? How do I get back? What happens to the good half when the soul is rejoined? How do I even rejoin the soul or banish her? How do we get to the pacifist route thingy? Also, how is this any different from our other options?”

“Ah. Don’t worry about the route; Frisk will do that on their own. As for the rest, we will have to discuss that further. It differs in the fact that you will have backup and protection in these events. You won’t be alone, we’ll be able to support you, and create a plan of action.”

You nodded slowly. “O...kay. But how badly would other people be able to be hurt before she’s stopped?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Give me an estimate.”

“I suppose she would be able to kill someone if she--”

You pursed your lips, as did Chara. “No. No one’s going to die because of me. There has to be a different way.”

_ “We don’t know how she might use the soul of someone else she kills, either,” _ Chara said.

You reiterated what Chara said to Gaster, who let out a slow breath.

“We’ll have to consider it, ____. You and Chara might have to do some experiments in the void as is.”

“But people dying is what we’re trying to avoid,” you persisted.

Gaster sighed, clasping his hands together and sitting. “I think it’s our best option--”

“Gaster--” you started, pausing as he raised his hand to quiet you.

“--however, there might be a way to make it so that only a select few of the strongest monsters could get to you.”

“How.”

“They’d have to experience your memories. We’d, in a way, lock you down from the rest, and they would have to make their way through those memories and get to you that way. Not only is this extremely difficult, though, it reveals those memories to others, and it doesn’t completely take away the risk of death. It merely limits it.”

“I don’t want anyone to have the chance of dying,” you said. “I can’t have that on my shoulders.”

“There are other options, of course,” Gaster sighed. “We’ve gone over them, as you stated earlier.”

You sighed heavily. “Let’s go over them again…”

***SANS**

“so?”

“So?”

“you said you were discussin’ solutions, or something? isn’t that what you were doing?”

“Oh. Yeah, we were. We were talking about how to defeat Chara without any casualties or… you know. Stuff like that.”

I leaned against ____ as we walked through the snow. “anything solid yet?”

“He had some new ideas, but they weren’t exactly great. I feel like they weren’t really… safer, I guess?”

“yeah? what was he on about?”

She raised her eyebrow and looked down at me. “Last time I talked to you about it, you got mad. You sure you wanna know?”

“psh. i don’t get ‘mad.’”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Bull. You were grumpy for a solid half-hour and kept complaining about his lame solution.”

“i think you’re thinking about paps.”

“You’re right. It was definitely your brother. You two look so similar; sometimes I mix you up. Sorry about that.”

I snorted, poking her side. “seriously, though. what’d he suggest?”

“It involved something called the ‘Pacifist Route.’ I don’t really understand that part-- it has something to do with Frisk, apparently--  but I don’t think it’s really important. It would lead to this void place where Chara would come for me. Since it’d be with the ‘Pacifist Route’ there’d be other people to help fight her, though. He said there was a chance people could get hurt and die though, so.”

I scoffed. “what a  _ great _ plan.”

“I told you you’d get upset.”

“it’s not  _ as _ stupid as his last idea. at least he’s putting some thought into making sure you’re safe. but that’s a pretty damn low bar.”

____ sighed. “We don’t have a whole lot of options, y’know. Nerd.”

I turned to look at her and stopped walking. “you’d think they wouldn’t be that stupid, though.”

“It’s only been a month. There’s still time to figure everything out.”

“yeah, yeah, well. whatever. you planning on going over there this weekend and talking about it more?”

“Maybe. I dunno. It’s not super easy to think about. It’s not like there’s infinite options.”

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “i was thinking about helping out. if you’re gonna be there. and if you want me to.”

Her face brightened. “Well, you can if you want to. There’s some more I’d have to explain…” She looked away. “So you’d have to be okay with the new stuff.”

“more secrets? neat. here for it.”

She snorted. “Ha. Ha. I’m sorry. There’s just a lot of them and they’re not exactly little things, I guess.”

I took her hand and started walking to my house again. “i get it. i have some of my own secrets, too.”

“Wow, look at us go. Yikes.”

“yikes,” I agreed. “you wanna spend the night over at my house? after the movie?”

“Absolutely not. Me? Be around you? Gross.”

“damn. was it the ketchup smell?”

“Yes-- Ack! Sans! Stop!”

I leaned against her more and breathed heavily.

“Ew! Stop! Sans!”

I chuckled. “what? what’s wrong?”

“Ketchup breath… you’re…  _ killing me…” _

“What are you nerds doing?”

____ swiveled to Undyne, wiggling out of my grasp. “Sans is trying to kill me with his ketchup breath,” she said.

Undyne was holding Alphys’s hand, and scoffed. “You two are stupid. Weren’t you supposed to be there earlier to help choose a movie, Sans?”

“i told him he could pick out whatever. he got excited.”

“Sans!” Undyne made a face. “You’re supposed to make sure he doesn’t pick out a kid’s show!”

“eh. he’ll be fine. he was in an action mood today. he’ll probably pick out star wars or somethin.’”

Undyne narrowed her eyes. “I swear to god. If you’re wrong…”

“I-It’ll be fine, Undyne,” Alphys reassured her. “We can always a-ask to watch something else. Pa-Papyrus is open to o-other options.”

“But I feel bad when I disagree with him!” she griped. “Whatever. We’ll hope for the best. And if it’s a bad movie, I’ll blame you completely.”

I stretched. “sounds fair.”

“If he did pick out a kid’s movie, you’re  _ boned,” _ ____ whispered to me.

I laughed. “have you used that one before? have i?”

“I lose track,” she admitted. “Not like it really matters. A pun’s a pun, yeah?”

“oh yeah. don’t let pap hear you messing around. he’ll get cranky. also, uh, don’t tell undyne, but i did check. the movie, i mean.”

“Why’re you being so coy, then?” ____ laughed quietly.

“similarly to papyrus, she’s funny when she’s pissy. different kinds of funny, but funny nonetheless.”

“You fucking nerd,” she snorted. “What’d he pick out?”

“star wars. the fifth one.”

“There’s  _ four?” _

“there’s more than four, babe.”

“I thought there were like,  _ two. _ ”

“uh, no. more than that. there’s six that i know of. they might’ve made more on the surface, but they haven’t fallen down here, so.”

“God, I only ever heard about three of them. You miss a lot of shit when you don’t talk to other people. Wait. I haven’t seen any of them. Is it okay to start on four?”

“yeah. it was the first one that was made.”

____ wrinkled her nose and gave me a look. “What?”

“mhm.”

“What the fuck? What? Who does that?”

“star wars does that.”

“Wow. Weird.”

I opened the door for ____ and walked in. 

“HEY!”

____ turned back to me and rolled her eyes as Undyne opened the door behind us.

“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN YOUR MANNERS?” Undyne spat. “You  _ hold _ the damn door open!”

“whoops.”

***Y/N**

You were curled up in Sans’s lap.

After you mentioned to Papyrus that you hadn’t seen any of the Star Wars movies, he decided everyone was going to watch all of them. He fell asleep halfway through the fifth one, but everyone else wanted to keep watching. Frisk and Toriel surprised you when they showed up to watch the movie, too. They didn’t stay for any of the other movies besides the fourth, since it would be past Frisk’s bedtime, but it was a pleasant surprise when they showed up. You squished Frisk’s cheeks a lot and held them tightly against you during the movie. You’d been more affectionate with them ever since there’d been more focus on Chara.

It was a nice evening. Grillby came over for a bit to watch the fifth movie, although he didn’t stay any longer than that because, and you quote, “I can’t leave Aaron running the bar for longer than three hours.”

Al and Undyne left after the sixth movie (Undyne made a point of saying that they should get to bed once Alphys started ranting about the VAST SUPERIORITY of the original trilogy compared to the PREQUELS).

Sans left you for a few minutes to get Pap situated for bed.

And then it was just you and Sans.

You were, to be honest, pretty tired. But you were also suddenly invested in what you’d missed for so long. Sans poked you in the side at one point during  _ Attack of the Clones. _ You gave him a look, and he gave you one back. “what? you looked asleep. i wanted to check.”

“I’m awake!”

“yuh-huh.  _ now _ you are.”

“What! I was awake before!”

Sans reclined back against the couch. “sure. totally.”

“I’m going to poke you until you die, Sans. I swear to god.”

“rude.”

“You’re the rude one!”

Sans laughed lightly, pulling you up in a sitting position. He nestled his head into your shoulder and held you tighter. “maybe you’re right. you liking the movies so far?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know what I was missing out on.”

“star wars is pretty good.”

“What do you like about them?”

“the stars. and the fighting. both of those are pretty neat.”

You smiled and shut your eyes for a moment, relishing in Sans’s warmth. Sans smiled wider, giving your cheek a quick peck. “You like the stars that much, huh?”

“sure,” he replied. “they’re pretty. and they’re cool, y’know? crazy that they’re so far away. and it’s also cool that people found patterns in the stars and made stories about them. it’s interesting.”

“Yeah, it is.” You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around him. He sighed a little. “I hope you get to see them soon.”

Sans chuckled. “thanks, babe. it’s uh, not that important though.”

“The surface isn’t important?” You scoffed. “C’mon, bone boy. Yes it is.”

“i mean, i guess so--”

“Sans, no, it is.”

“okay, sure, it is, but it’s not like everything sucks so bad down here. i don’t want to lose what i’ve got. the surface isn’t worth losing you, or losing pap, or any of that.”

“You won’t lose me,” you said quietly, kissing him. He hummed a little. You could feel how tense he was all of the sudden. “Sans. I know it’s been different in the past. But I swear that you won’t lose me this time.”

He looked to the side, his eyesockets dark.

You pressed your forehead to his and cupped his cheek. “I’m serious. I want to be here for you this time. I want things to be different. And I swear that I’m not going to leave, no matter what. This time  _ will _ be different.”

Sans leaned into your hand, quiet for a bit. “... you promise?”

“Yeah. I promise.”

You looked at him, and he looked back at you. There was a nervousness about him, but there was also something more. You thought it might’ve been hope, but really, it could’ve been so many things. Sans’s smile grew and he pulled you in for a deep kiss, holding you tightly to him.

And there was a warmth about him that you loved so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw a fluff chapter what is this :') will it last probably not but you know that's just how it goes sometimes enjoy your fluff love you guys


	39. Desicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter but:))))))) don't worry:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

“so the chara-thing is  _ two _ separate things, and one’s a psychopath, and the other’s a normal kid, and the nice one lives inside your head like the bad one used to, except you two are friends and she can appear like a ghost to you, and for gaster to escape the void he had to expel some of his magic, so you had it attached to your soul-person-thing, and now you have weird flower powers, or something?”

“I think that about covers it,” Gaster said calmly.

“and how long has nice-chara-thing been living inside of your head?”

“A while,” you replied.

“how long though?”

“A little after we met.”

“jeez. wow. any other secrets?”

You considered his words. “I don’t think so.”

“you’re human and not some sort of alien?”

“I’m at least 99% sure,” you said.

“sheesh. damn. why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”

“Lots of reasons that I don’t think would help in our current situation,” you said.

“probably not.”

You leaned back in your chair, a little nervous. “So? Ideas?”

“This is what we already have,” Gaster said, handing a folder over to Sans.

Sans flipped through it, lazily scanning each paper. “these are shittier than i thought they were,” he stated, putting down the papers. He raised a browbone. “is this seriously all you could come up with?” Sans scoffed.

“Your help would be appreciated, Sans,” Gaster replied. You noted that he looked slightly annoyed and extremely exhausted. “I am very open to suggestions.”

“‘kay. first suggestion. have you considered finding a way to prevent her from going into this ‘void’ at all? all of these ideas are just working on her being in the void and defeating chara. why isn’t it an option to leave chara be and instead find a way to avoid this conflict altogether?”

“You know that when Asriel arises, every soul is pulled into his work. A possible outcome of holding her soul back could be a fatality. The stress might shatter it, and a reset is not a viable option anymore. This timeline has grown unstable. If we were to reset now, Chara would infiltrate her soul, and we would have another go of the previous timeline, only potentially much more devastating. Additionally, her soul is especially precarious currently. Magic has never been tied to the inner parts of a human’s soul as it is with hers before. The only way to avoid these incredibly dangerous variables is for her to go to the void.”

Sans frowned a little, and you uncomfortably looked away from both of them.

“here’s another idea. why don’t you focus on finding a way of keeping chara away rather than pulling them together? all the situations you focus on involve conflict. you only care about destroying the entity.”

“Conflict  _ is _ the only option!” Gaster announced. “Here are the most effective options we have been presented with as to stopping Chara from annihilating ____ and her soul or crippling the timeline; combine the soul into one piece and have both sides of Chara rejoin  _ or _ destroy her.”

You crossed your arms, leaning in your seat a little uncomfortably.

Time passed. Sans grew less hostile as they spoke. You offered your thoughts, but half of what Gaster and Sans were talking about didn’t make much sense. Chara materialized, listening while leaning against your shoulder. You knew what she was thinking. It was another option that she brought up to you, but you had refused to even offer it as a choice to Gaster, keeping it quiet. She was upset that you didn’t bring it up, but she continued to talk to you about it. She insisted that it was the best choice, and you insisted that it was too dangerous.

 

You were staring off into space, mainly because what Sans and Gaster were currently talking about didn’t affect you. They were talking in big science words about timelines.

You felt Sans tapping your shoulder and turned to him. “Hm?”

Sans smiled slightly. “you get bored?”

“A little. I don’t understand half of what you two are talking about.”

Gaster nodded. “We were discussing other implications to our current solutions besides what you’ve brought up. Things that require years of study to truly understand. It’s quite alright. Alphys is coming in a few minutes to help brainstorm more ideas. Have you come up with any new ones?”

“No,” you said, ignoring Chara as she stared at you. “No, not yet.”

“this is probably pretty boring right now. it’s only gonna get more boring. when al comes, do you want to go and chill outside or something?”

“Yes,” you replied gratefully. “You’ll go over everything with me when you guys are done though, right?”

“nah, we won’t tell you about this thing that directly affects you.” Sans smirked. “‘course we will, babe.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed Sans a little. “You’re mean to me,” you said.

“just a little.”

“Oh, ____,” Gaster said suddenly, “that reminds me. I have to speak with Frisk later. Would you ask Toriel if I could come over later? I’d do so myself, but I keep forgetting. My mind is slightly preoccupied.”

“Sure,” you said as Alphys walked in.

“H-Hi ____,” she greeted. “Di-Did I leave you guys w-waiting? I’ve been b-brainstorming.”

“No, not at all. I’m going to walk around while you guys talk. Just call me when you’re ready,” you said, offering your chair to the woman.

Alphys shyly took the seat. “S-See you in a bit.”

“bye, ____.”

“We’ll be sure to gather you again when we are ready,” Gaster stated calmly. “Farewell.”

You waved, walking out and quickly closing the door. You walked away speedily.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you said to Chara. “The answer is still no.”

_ “It makes no sense to not do it,” _ she responded.

“Yes it does,” you told her firmly as you took the elevator upstairs. “We’ve been over this so many times. It’s not a choice. They don’t even know about that, so we are not going to do that. We. Are. Not. Going. To.”

_ “____,” _ she sighed,  _ “it’s the best option.” _

You shook your head, walking out of the elevator and towards the center of Hotland. You wanted to walk around. It was always nice.

_ “Kill me,” _ Chara said quietly as she moved away.

“No,” you snapped, upset, turning to where she was beside you. “You keep bringing this up. Absolutely not. I don’t care if it’s easier that way or whatever else you say. I don’t want you to die. I don’t care if it’ll weaken her too. You’re like my younger sister, and no way in hell am I going to let you, a kid, go out and die just because it’s the easiest solution.”

_ “____, I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s okay. Remember, I’ve been here for a long time. I’ve been through this all over and over again. This endless loop, these stupid choices that go forever over and over with minimal change until there’s tragedy… what if I’m the anomaly? What if this is better for us all? This is one of the easier, quicker options, and I don’t know if I’m ready to die forever, but I’d rather it be that than everything else that could happen.” _

“It won’t even get rid of her! What if she comes back and what happened to you didn’t mean anything anyways?”

_ “But what if it doesn’t go that way?” _

“No! There’s another way. There has to be another way.”

_ “This is the most logical way,” _ Chara insisted.  _ “The most efficient and safe way. You know as well as I do that you don’t have much time left to do this. You know that this timeline is growing too unstable.” _

“Then we’ll find another way faster!” you persisted.

_ “They don’t know how quickly we need to find a solution. You do. I know you can feel her growing. We know that Frisk is going to try to finish the timeline because they feel it too. We can’t put this off much longer. We don’t have many options left. At most, we have a month before she finds a way to get to us. We can’t let that happen. We can’t stall much longer. This timeline is growing more and more unstable by the second, and the only way to stop a catastrophe is to escape the underground. We can’t do that without meeting her again. Your soul is still barely intact. It may be getting better in some regards, but ____, I know you feel that it’s struggling. That may be my fault, too. It might be too much stress for you to keep holding onto me like this. With the magic, too… You can hardly control it. I know you’re hiding this from everyone else because you know that Gaster will follow through with his plan to stop Chara by bringing other people to fight her. Neither of us want that! She’s so angry, and I can feel it. I can feel how determined she is to come back now. She’s never hated you as much as she does now. She hates me, she hates Sans, she hates Gaster, Frisk, Toriel, Asgore, even Asriel… She’s too far gone. You and I need to fix this together. You and I can do this.” _ Chara’s ghostly hand rested on your shoulder.  _ “You and I are the only ones that understand how desperate our situation is. Even Frisk doesn’t completely understand how severe things are getting. Once you kill me, you need to leave the underground instantly. That’s how we’ll avoid the collapse.” _

“You don’t know that it’ll work that way,” you argued. “You don’t know that she’ll be weak enough, even with you gone. I’m not sure how that even will change anything-- How do we know that you dying will stall her at all?”

_ “We’re tied together still. She’s still me and I’m still her. Even though we’re both weaker broken apart, we still have that connection. A soul separated is stronger than a soul destroyed. It’s not that hard to understand. Come on. This is what’s best for everyone, and you know it. One life.” _

“How is that different from what I’ve done before?”

_ “What do you mean.” _

“My life so that everyone else could be free. You’ve been pissed at that mentality before. Why is it different with you?”

_ “I don’t have as many people as you do. I’m already dead, ____. I don’t really… I’m scared to see what’s after this. What’s death when you only have a piece of a soul? What’s death when you’ve already died? I’m scared. I’ll admit it, okay? I’m not the biggest fan of this idea either. No matter how we go about this, something bad might happen. Even if we somehow combine our soul again, I don’t know what will happen. Frisk has a piece of me too. Do we need to combine that for this to work? What if she still ends up being the bigger part to me? She and I are different sides to the same person. I’m just a shard of her. I don’t know how much of me would come through… There’s so much we don’t know. Killing me is just the least complicated, safest way.” _

“No. We’ll find another way. I’ll go in it alone. I can practice more with you. I can do it. We don’t need anyone else. You and I can go against her together. We’ll find a way to fix your soul or to destroy her. But we are not going to do that. The only person who could do that is me, and I’m not going to kill you. I can’t do that. I just can’t. They’re coming up with more solutions right now. Maybe they’ll find something better. Anything. But I can’t let you die.”

 

***FRISK**

They were sitting in their room, staring at the snowy landscape outside. In the next room over, they could hear their mom talking on the phone. She thought that they were doing homework since Frisk insisted they would, but they didn’t have time to do that. They had been thinking. This was such a strange timeline. They’d noticed throughout it all, of course, but the fact that they didn’t remember anything in the beginning frightened them. 

They could tell it was different.

They’d been down in the Underground for almost a year. They’d been noting each difference as they came. Their sister was different. She’d never lived this long in a timeline before. She’d also never been in danger so often. It amused them, in a way. They’d been trying for years to keep her alive and the only time it had worked so far was when she almost died so many times that they’d lost count. The variation was pleasant. It made their actions have some meaning.

Chara was staring at the drawings on the walls. Frisk saw something wrong with her. She’d grown more faint recently, as if she was disappearing. It scared them a little. They couldn’t hear as well as they had before. The stars they’d go and save at were glowing less and less brightly. The flower lurked in the darkness, thinking he was there in secret. Frisk noticed. How could they not? They knew that he was growing ansy. He wanted them to leave. The timeline seemed like it lost so much of its integrity.

They observed Chara for a few minutes as she gazed at the drawings, and then quickly went back to pretending like they were doing homework as Toriel opened the door.

“My dear?”

“Yeah Mom?”

“Dr. Gaster has just called me. He wants to discuss something with you.”

“About what?”

“He didn’t say explicitly. Asgore--” she tensed a little, “--will be there as well. I understand that he has been keeping updates with Gaster. They’re certainly talking a lot with ____ these days.” She dusted her hands on her apron. “On Wednesday, you and I will go meet up with them. After school, of course.”

“You’re coming, too?”

“I’m not sure how I feel about you being alone with Asgore,” Toriel said.

“I think he’d be fine. He’s been keeping his distance like you wanted.”

“Yes, well. Precaution is always wise.”

Frisk shrugged. “Well, okay.”

“How’s your homework coming? Do you need any help?”

They smiled. “No thanks, Mom. I’ve got it. Just need to focus.”

She smiled back. “Okay. I’ll leave you to it. Just let me know. And don’t forget that we’re having dinner with ____ and the brothers tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Toriel closed the door behind her and went back to cooking dinner. Frisk had actually talked to ____ earlier. She’d seemed tense over the phone. They weren’t sure why, but they knew she wasn’t alone, so they weren’t terribly worried. They just had to figure out how to end this timeline. Asgore would complicate things a bit, but Flowey had never failed them before. Alphys was slowly being honest with the amalgamates.

They just had to go fast.

But they knew they could do it.

They had to be able to.

 

***Y/N**

 

They had more ideas, but nothing that was certain. The best ideas had already been thrown out there.

Time was running thin.

You had to practice with the flowers. You had to keep the others safe.

You would try your best.

You couldn’t let anyone die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))))))))) stuff is coming:)))))))))))))))))))) hope you're ready


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